Now here is a little story that isn’t meant to embarrass anyone but, I think it’s really cool. I won’t be using any names, so I apologize if that makes it some what confusing. Anyway, let’s get on with the story. I have a couple that I’m friends with, and they have a son. This year their son is playing football for the first time, and the entire family is totally stoked about it. That’s right, I said totally stoked.
Pretty typical story thus far, right? Well, here’s the thing. My buddy has never been in to professional sports. If you want to know about kayaking, rock climbing, under water basket weaving, video games or running well then he’s your guy. NFL, NBA or Major League Baseball just are not his thing. So, I give him a lot of credit for having the guts to ask me to help get him up to speed.
You know, it’s really cool when a kid takes on an interest that his or her parents have. Could be that dads’ alma-mater becomes his favorite college, or begins to love poker because mom does. That’s all very cool. But, it’s even cooler when a parent gets involved in something they never really cared for, just because their child cares about it.
So I give my friend all the credit in the world. Asking another guy for help is really never easy. We see almost everything as a chance to make fun of each other, with almost nothing being off limits. And I can’t imagine how awkward it has been for him to have other fathers try talking sports at practice, or feel as if he can’t contribute any advice to his son about his play. That is how you man up.
My mom used to always keep an eye on what my beloved Mets were doing, so she could bring it up in the morning while making my breakfast. I always thought that was really cool. Not that she learned enough to have much of a conversation about them, but the fact that she took any interest at all was always impressive to me.
Now the same friends told me how I need to meet their sons’ teacher. I believe the term “rockin’ body” was used as was “23 years old.” Needless to say, I’m all for meeting. The reason I’m writing about it now is, this reminded me of one of my favorite stories about my first niece.
We were at my nephews school play, he was in 3rd grade I believe, with my niece in 4th. I see my niece talking to her teacher who is for starters cute, and secondly she looks really familiar. Not just because I wanted her to, she actually did. She really had one of those faces I knew from somewhere but I couldn’t place it. So, I ask my niece her teacher’s name. Again, it’s familiar but too common to place. I think we went to high school together so I tell my niece this, and she runs off and asks her teacher where she went to school. All this during the play mind you. The munchkin comes back and confirms it, we indeed went to high school together.
After the play ended, for which my nephew should win a Tony and really there’s never been a better alligator in the history of the theatre, I make my way over to the former classmate now educator to say hi. We do the typical hi how are you, yadda yadda yadda. And then my sweet little niece chimes in with, “will you go out with my uncle?”
I’m not sure who turned a brighter red but, I like to think it was her. We both just laughed it off, as plenty of parents looked on. I told my niece a few minutes later that she would be in big trouble, if only it hadn’t been so funny. And that’s when I knew I couldn’t be a parent. That would be my rule. You aren’t in trouble if I laugh. Oh, you played a prank on the principal and got suspended okay, but did the prank itself make me laugh? It did, and so you can go out Friday.
August 24, 2006
August 23, 2006
Need a New Jay Oh Bee
Going back to school or not, I’m looking for a new gig here in Kansas City. So, can I just say job hunting sucks? What, you want to hear more? Well okay then. First it’s hard enough to find something I’d actually be interested in doing. Then there’s the fact that I have to realistic so I can’t apply for any VP positions. Now, I know what I don’t want. Rather not process anything, oh hell I think I already used that Cusak quote in a previous post.
But really, I’m not even sure what I want to do. I thought I’d enjoy this job, just sitting at a computer all day, occasionally checking my email and listening to my IPod all day. And it has some perks but, I’m bored to tears. The fact that it doesn’t seem to lead to anything isn’t helping. Oh, did I mention that I’m a contractor? This is important because if I don’t get hired on by Sprint, and if I did I couldn’t be promoted for a year, they won’t renew my contract. I won’t go into how stupid that is on their part but, that means I have till the first week of January. Plenty of time you’re saying. Oh, I might be a little obsessive compulsive sometimes so, the whole theory of time doesn’t always pertain to me.
The irony of this job and its lack of a future is, that’s a big reason why the idea of going back to school is so appealing. If I am able to find something I like, or something tolerable that pays me enough, I could very easily get over the school idea. The more “adult” decisions I’m faced with, the more I wish I was eight again.
Speaking of being a kid again, I recently was talking some trash with a couple cousins. Imagine that, its easy if you try. And at some point I brought up an old Shogun action figure he gave me when I was two, and I guess I had hit a nerve with something else I said so he asked for it back. Kidding of course, well I think so anyway. But I’ve now found it on Ebay and I’m in the process of bidding and winning, so that I can give it to his son. Not to brag or anything but, I’m a pro with the whole gift giving thing. And I’m mighty impressed with myself on this one. Really, I’m not bragging. Ignore the fact that is a website where I write about whatever I feel like and hope people read it. There’s no ego in that. Seriously.
But really, I’m not even sure what I want to do. I thought I’d enjoy this job, just sitting at a computer all day, occasionally checking my email and listening to my IPod all day. And it has some perks but, I’m bored to tears. The fact that it doesn’t seem to lead to anything isn’t helping. Oh, did I mention that I’m a contractor? This is important because if I don’t get hired on by Sprint, and if I did I couldn’t be promoted for a year, they won’t renew my contract. I won’t go into how stupid that is on their part but, that means I have till the first week of January. Plenty of time you’re saying. Oh, I might be a little obsessive compulsive sometimes so, the whole theory of time doesn’t always pertain to me.
The irony of this job and its lack of a future is, that’s a big reason why the idea of going back to school is so appealing. If I am able to find something I like, or something tolerable that pays me enough, I could very easily get over the school idea. The more “adult” decisions I’m faced with, the more I wish I was eight again.
Speaking of being a kid again, I recently was talking some trash with a couple cousins. Imagine that, its easy if you try. And at some point I brought up an old Shogun action figure he gave me when I was two, and I guess I had hit a nerve with something else I said so he asked for it back. Kidding of course, well I think so anyway. But I’ve now found it on Ebay and I’m in the process of bidding and winning, so that I can give it to his son. Not to brag or anything but, I’m a pro with the whole gift giving thing. And I’m mighty impressed with myself on this one. Really, I’m not bragging. Ignore the fact that is a website where I write about whatever I feel like and hope people read it. There’s no ego in that. Seriously.
August 22, 2006
G-Hirp on K-Fed
There was once a day where America’s Nightmare was Ice Cube and NWA, man how I long for those days. Today the nightmare is friggin K-Fed. That’s right, the idiot husband of the idiot pop queen, Britney Spears. The guy had his big showcase at the Teen Choice Awards and I can’t decide which the bigger mistake was. Well, not counting the original mistake that is K-Fed.
Was it trying to make his big splash in the world of hip hop at the Teen Choice Awards? That in itself is pretty stupid. Makes sense if you want to capture the white 12-14 year old market but, that isn’t really gangsta now is it? Or was it dropping F bombs and all sorts of other colorful words in a room full of young kids? Who else would think any of those are good ideas? Even Eminem would change his lyrics up for that crowd.
And let this be the first, and last post I ever write about the one called K-Fed but, since I already started let’s try and figure this guy out. Mainly why do we hate him so much? Aside from the obvious that he’s a complete moron. I think it’s because we all realize, that wow, we all actually had a shot with Britney. I mean, she’s picked such a loser, that John Mark Karr is shaking his head. Yet at the same time K-Fed, ended up with the richest piece of trailer trash on the planet. We can’t actually envy the guy. Okay, he’s rich and set for life. She’s been hot before, might be hot again. No, I can’t envy him. Mainly we hate him because we know who he is. And we hate that we know.
Was it trying to make his big splash in the world of hip hop at the Teen Choice Awards? That in itself is pretty stupid. Makes sense if you want to capture the white 12-14 year old market but, that isn’t really gangsta now is it? Or was it dropping F bombs and all sorts of other colorful words in a room full of young kids? Who else would think any of those are good ideas? Even Eminem would change his lyrics up for that crowd.
And let this be the first, and last post I ever write about the one called K-Fed but, since I already started let’s try and figure this guy out. Mainly why do we hate him so much? Aside from the obvious that he’s a complete moron. I think it’s because we all realize, that wow, we all actually had a shot with Britney. I mean, she’s picked such a loser, that John Mark Karr is shaking his head. Yet at the same time K-Fed, ended up with the richest piece of trailer trash on the planet. We can’t actually envy the guy. Okay, he’s rich and set for life. She’s been hot before, might be hot again. No, I can’t envy him. Mainly we hate him because we know who he is. And we hate that we know.
August 21, 2006
Should I Stay or Should I Go
I fear change. I know this doesn’t make me unique, most people don’t like change or even fear it. I talked/talk of moving to Chicago; get all excited about the prospects even. I day dream, and I hop online looking for work and apartments. In my head I run so many different scenarios that I make our President appear ill-prepared, okay bad example. I’ll even tell friends of my conundrum, and in most cases I’ll post something about. Trying to ignore the fact that I know deep down I most likely won’t pull the trigger.
Well, Chicago is still a thought but now there’s a new conundrum upon me. One that makes sense on so many levels yet is scary on even more. With the little following I’ve developed with my corner of the web, I’ve also seen my confidence in my writing rise. Then a friend suggested a career as a copywriter, and it’s been an idea I haven’t been able to shake. I’ve always taken great interest in advertising, thanks in large part to my cousin Eric and observing his career. I can’t think of many fields that are more exciting but, at the same time I never really thought it was for me. It always seemed to be more for the type-A personalities. So, I mention to my cousin that I saw an opening at a local agency for an entry level position and ask for some advice. Eric tells me that it isn’t so much my lack of a degree that will prevent me from getting the gig but, my lack of a portfolio. All hope isn’t lost, he tells me of these programs around the country where one can go and get an associates in specific areas. I, of course, begin surfing the net immediately. That’s when I see this:
“You can’t draw. The last film you developed was the one in your tub. The only designs you ever come up with are evil. And you can’t even lay out your clothes. But you’re a master of irony. A wizard of wit. A warrior with words. A book-reading, story-making, note-passing, joke-telling, encyclopedia of useless trivia and crazy ideas. You’re gonna be a great copywriter.”
Well I’ll be damned. I just read a near perfect description of myself, minus the fact I can lay out my clothes, and I don’t read all that many books. But now I see a career for myself. Something I think I could really enjoy doing and that would lead me to a city like Chicago. Seems like an easy decision right? Well, that’s when we get back to my first statement. I fear change. And this would require picking up and moving, not being able to work full-time, encoring huge debt and facing that other great fear of mine. A little thing called the fear of failure. Then a line from Tin Cup keeps echoing in my head, “a defining moment comes, and either you define the moment or the moment defines you.”
I know what I should do, and I know what I want to do. Sadly I’m afraid I know what I will do. But you know the game you play, if I won the lottery? That game, everyone plays that game. Well, now when I play this is one of the things I know I’d do. And I don’t have to win the lottery to do it. Just gotta pull the trigger.
Well, Chicago is still a thought but now there’s a new conundrum upon me. One that makes sense on so many levels yet is scary on even more. With the little following I’ve developed with my corner of the web, I’ve also seen my confidence in my writing rise. Then a friend suggested a career as a copywriter, and it’s been an idea I haven’t been able to shake. I’ve always taken great interest in advertising, thanks in large part to my cousin Eric and observing his career. I can’t think of many fields that are more exciting but, at the same time I never really thought it was for me. It always seemed to be more for the type-A personalities. So, I mention to my cousin that I saw an opening at a local agency for an entry level position and ask for some advice. Eric tells me that it isn’t so much my lack of a degree that will prevent me from getting the gig but, my lack of a portfolio. All hope isn’t lost, he tells me of these programs around the country where one can go and get an associates in specific areas. I, of course, begin surfing the net immediately. That’s when I see this:
“You can’t draw. The last film you developed was the one in your tub. The only designs you ever come up with are evil. And you can’t even lay out your clothes. But you’re a master of irony. A wizard of wit. A warrior with words. A book-reading, story-making, note-passing, joke-telling, encyclopedia of useless trivia and crazy ideas. You’re gonna be a great copywriter.”
Well I’ll be damned. I just read a near perfect description of myself, minus the fact I can lay out my clothes, and I don’t read all that many books. But now I see a career for myself. Something I think I could really enjoy doing and that would lead me to a city like Chicago. Seems like an easy decision right? Well, that’s when we get back to my first statement. I fear change. And this would require picking up and moving, not being able to work full-time, encoring huge debt and facing that other great fear of mine. A little thing called the fear of failure. Then a line from Tin Cup keeps echoing in my head, “a defining moment comes, and either you define the moment or the moment defines you.”
I know what I should do, and I know what I want to do. Sadly I’m afraid I know what I will do. But you know the game you play, if I won the lottery? That game, everyone plays that game. Well, now when I play this is one of the things I know I’d do. And I don’t have to win the lottery to do it. Just gotta pull the trigger.
August 18, 2006
Random Hirpizms
• Recently Haley Joel Osment, that’s right the kid from The Sixth Sense, was in a car accident. He is now facing charges for driving drunk and possession of the pot. My sources tell me he has since blamed dead people for all the wars in the world. Only to later apologize and ask for the chance to sit down and talk to dead people (again) to put them at ease. I only hope I was the first one to make this joke.
• A video YOU have to see. http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/40420/ It’s Denis Leary in the booth at a recent Red Sox game, and he really goes off on Mel Gibson. I don’t think he can win an Emmy for this, or an Oscar. So how about we give the guy a Nobel Prize. There has to be some kind of reward for this. Maybe we’ll give him Israel, or his own Monica Lewinsky.
• So this guy that confessed to killing JonBenet didn’t do it. I heard that he claimed to have drugged her, yet there were no drugs in her system, and made some other claims that aren’t accurate. I still think he should be locked up, I mean you have to be a sick twisted soul to kill someone. But to confess you did when you didn’t? I think that’s the act of an even sicker person. Instead I bet he gets a book deal.
• No doubt in my mind the Mets are the best team in the NL. Problem is we don’t have the pitching. And without Pedro, the Mets will get win only one game in the World Series. More sports stuff, the Giants blanked the Chiefs last night. Take that Kansas City.
• A follow-up regarding on the on going debates I’m involved in on IMDB.com. One woman is upset that American’s aren’t allowed to bring a Bible with them if they go to an Arab country. My question is what would you need it for? Is it you can’t pray without it, or that you can’t preach without it? And really, how can we be upset by their laws? Last I checked it isn’t our land. Well, not yet anyway.
• Snakes On A Plane comes out today, who isn’t excited about this? If you haven’t already done it you need to go to snakesonaplane.com and have Samuel L Jackson call all of your friends. It’s hysterical.
And this is just great: Shea Stadium. It's like being there. Might not be the nicest stadium in baseball but, it's still my favorite. Sorry Wrigley.
• A video YOU have to see. http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/40420/ It’s Denis Leary in the booth at a recent Red Sox game, and he really goes off on Mel Gibson. I don’t think he can win an Emmy for this, or an Oscar. So how about we give the guy a Nobel Prize. There has to be some kind of reward for this. Maybe we’ll give him Israel, or his own Monica Lewinsky.
• So this guy that confessed to killing JonBenet didn’t do it. I heard that he claimed to have drugged her, yet there were no drugs in her system, and made some other claims that aren’t accurate. I still think he should be locked up, I mean you have to be a sick twisted soul to kill someone. But to confess you did when you didn’t? I think that’s the act of an even sicker person. Instead I bet he gets a book deal.
• No doubt in my mind the Mets are the best team in the NL. Problem is we don’t have the pitching. And without Pedro, the Mets will get win only one game in the World Series. More sports stuff, the Giants blanked the Chiefs last night. Take that Kansas City.
• A follow-up regarding on the on going debates I’m involved in on IMDB.com. One woman is upset that American’s aren’t allowed to bring a Bible with them if they go to an Arab country. My question is what would you need it for? Is it you can’t pray without it, or that you can’t preach without it? And really, how can we be upset by their laws? Last I checked it isn’t our land. Well, not yet anyway.
• Snakes On A Plane comes out today, who isn’t excited about this? If you haven’t already done it you need to go to snakesonaplane.com and have Samuel L Jackson call all of your friends. It’s hysterical.
And this is just great: Shea Stadium. It's like being there. Might not be the nicest stadium in baseball but, it's still my favorite. Sorry Wrigley.
August 17, 2006
Murder, Poker and Mini-vans
Finally a suspect in the JonBenet Ramsey murder has been named. Ten years is all it’s taken huh? This must make the mother of that Holloway girl that vanished in Aruba feel a lot better now that there’s been an arrest in the JonBenet Ramsey murder. Actually, wow, this just hit me. Didn’t Holloway look a bit like she could be JonBenet all growns up? Never mind that the math does not add up, it’s all part of a conspiracy. Hmm. Also, I hear that OJ wants to question the guy they have in custody. And we all doubted that he was still looking for the real killer.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The conversation at poker night sure has changed; I’m not exactly sure when exactly it took place. Originally it was crude, rude and pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a room full of degenerate gamblers even if they were all white collar guys. Then I think we took a few weeks off and everyone had kids. Not just one, two maybe even three kids. Instead of overhearing a review of some ones porn collection, there were stories of diapers and first words. Really it’s totally cool yet, also a total shock to me at the same time. This past week there was talk about minivans and how convenient they really are. Now this isn’t just because I have an uncle who was a car designer for many years but, I drove a Nissan Qwest about six years ago and I swear it’s a nice ride. I mean I was a little annoyed that was the car they gave me to drive around San Diego in, I’m pretty sure it was a mean trick, but right then I knew it was the right car for any family. I have friends that swear they’ll never drive one, doesn’t matter if they have more kids then Shawn Kemp. But they’re lying to themselves, or they’re just stupid. First off all, you have kids. The time of being hip and cool in your life has passed. You can still be a cool mom or dad but, all that really means you don’t dress like a mom or dad and you spoil your kids. But don’t be a fool, get the minivan.
That’s not even the point here. This is actually for the wives. That think poker night is a great escape, where the guys are out being guys. No, they are bragging about their kids or worried about their daughter who happens to have an accident that rips out a few teeth. They swap stories about teething, birthday parties and not getting any sleep. Talk about joint family vacations and how much their wives put up with. Half of these stories and conversations make the idea of having a family of my own sound great. While the other half are the worlds best birth control. Really, you want to scare your kids out of having their own, make them hang out with little kids misbehaving. I don’t mean baby sit, parents don’t get paid and you won’t scare them if you reward them. Just have them spend two hours with a couple three year olds who have gone completely Tom Cruise and gone way off the reservation. It’s more effective then any health video. I’m in my late 20’s and I’m great with kids but, I’ve seen them turn into little devils and it’s not at all cute. Seriously, I mean a real mini-Lucifer.
Oh don’t worry it’s not all Brokeback Hold ‘em, there’s still farting, beer and all sorts of homo-phobic jokes made. And let’s not forget the 487 jokes made at my expense. I’m not even kidding. I am however, probably in deep shit for letting these secrets out. First I take their money, now I’ve broken man law. But it’s up to them to share this with their wives or not, so we’ll see what they do.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The conversation at poker night sure has changed; I’m not exactly sure when exactly it took place. Originally it was crude, rude and pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a room full of degenerate gamblers even if they were all white collar guys. Then I think we took a few weeks off and everyone had kids. Not just one, two maybe even three kids. Instead of overhearing a review of some ones porn collection, there were stories of diapers and first words. Really it’s totally cool yet, also a total shock to me at the same time. This past week there was talk about minivans and how convenient they really are. Now this isn’t just because I have an uncle who was a car designer for many years but, I drove a Nissan Qwest about six years ago and I swear it’s a nice ride. I mean I was a little annoyed that was the car they gave me to drive around San Diego in, I’m pretty sure it was a mean trick, but right then I knew it was the right car for any family. I have friends that swear they’ll never drive one, doesn’t matter if they have more kids then Shawn Kemp. But they’re lying to themselves, or they’re just stupid. First off all, you have kids. The time of being hip and cool in your life has passed. You can still be a cool mom or dad but, all that really means you don’t dress like a mom or dad and you spoil your kids. But don’t be a fool, get the minivan.
That’s not even the point here. This is actually for the wives. That think poker night is a great escape, where the guys are out being guys. No, they are bragging about their kids or worried about their daughter who happens to have an accident that rips out a few teeth. They swap stories about teething, birthday parties and not getting any sleep. Talk about joint family vacations and how much their wives put up with. Half of these stories and conversations make the idea of having a family of my own sound great. While the other half are the worlds best birth control. Really, you want to scare your kids out of having their own, make them hang out with little kids misbehaving. I don’t mean baby sit, parents don’t get paid and you won’t scare them if you reward them. Just have them spend two hours with a couple three year olds who have gone completely Tom Cruise and gone way off the reservation. It’s more effective then any health video. I’m in my late 20’s and I’m great with kids but, I’ve seen them turn into little devils and it’s not at all cute. Seriously, I mean a real mini-Lucifer.
Oh don’t worry it’s not all Brokeback Hold ‘em, there’s still farting, beer and all sorts of homo-phobic jokes made. And let’s not forget the 487 jokes made at my expense. I’m not even kidding. I am however, probably in deep shit for letting these secrets out. First I take their money, now I’ve broken man law. But it’s up to them to share this with their wives or not, so we’ll see what they do.
August 16, 2006
No Chirp
Last night was poker night. Sunday is the day I look to forward on a weekly basis but, every third Tuesday is what I count down to every month, for it is Poker Night. See, I’m in this genius league, a fantasy league set up some what like a fantasy sports league/real poker league. We have a monthly tournament, in which points are given for where you place as well as some cash. And at the end of the year, the top 8 in points get to play in a Championship Game. The winner gets a nice sum of cash, a beautiful trophy their wives will never allow to on public display, and shit talked on them for a year. It’s the Bad Beats crew.
So last night was our game for the month, and I went there in bad shape. In 17th place out of 21 with only four events left. It was time to get some points or face a second year in a row without an appearance at the Championship. And in all honesty, I’ve played pretty well this year. I’ve earned, and deservingly so, a reputation for having mini-meltdowns. Basically, there was always one or two hands I’d totally over play and screw myself. This year I haven’t really done that. After each tourney I felt I played well, just either got out played or didn’t get the right cards. Last night I got off to a decent start. For the first 45 minutes or so I was pretty quiet. Finally I began to pick up a few hands, nothing big though, but I started getting a stack. I’m not sure when or how but that stack grew to what was probably the second biggest stack. And then it happened. Porqchop beautifully played a hand, while I was totally bluffing at a hand I had no right being in. He slow played, and nearly earned an Oscar for his Heath Ledger like performance, quads that he got on the flop. I thought I was done for.
This was followed up soon after by another stupid call, this time against a guy we have given the endearing nicknames of Bradasow and Devil Down, in which I doubled him up. But since I had such a good size stack at this time, it didn’t cripple me. Soon we were down to the final eight and I was still in good position. Now I’m starting to think about that if I don’t get stupid, I can actually take some money home. And just a few bucks and some nice points is all I’m thinking about. A little cash for Vegas, and maybe a chance to play at the big kids table at the end. And well, as much as I believe poker isn’t true gambling that it is indeed at the very least somewhat a skill game I also know you aren’t winning a tournament without some form of luck. And I got lucky. I thought the one called Bradasow was bluffing, and since I had a decent (at best) hand with plenty of outs, I called a raise. The river came giving me a nut straight, and he went all in, I called and some how my nemesis was beaten. That took the field down to five, and I was in fantastic shape. I don’t recall the rest of the hands only I took out James, a participant in the 2006 World Series of Poker, in a hand where my pocket jacks went up against his ace-jack. I also got lucky with knocking out the third place finisher, I was in a blind and had to call his all-in with an two over cards and a gut shot straight draw. Hit the straight on the river and it was down to two.
Fred and I have played in some free games at a local bar, as well as many lunch games at my place when I had week days off. Normally he scares the hell out of me, he insists he only plays premium hands but it’s complete bull. I had him out chipped like 4:1, he made a raise pre-flop which I called. I hit top pair with a king kicker, and he had a flush draw so he went all-in. I called and my pair hit, making me the winner for the night. Did I play well? I think so. Did I get lucky? No question. Maybe it was karma, maybe it was the fact that I nearly didn’t even play since my niece and nephew got into town last night. And if they had a flight that came in before 10:30 I probably wouldn’t have played, so I probably have to spend some of the money on them.
One other highlight was aRoyal Flush I’ve which is the second seen in person, that’s just too cool.
So last night was our game for the month, and I went there in bad shape. In 17th place out of 21 with only four events left. It was time to get some points or face a second year in a row without an appearance at the Championship. And in all honesty, I’ve played pretty well this year. I’ve earned, and deservingly so, a reputation for having mini-meltdowns. Basically, there was always one or two hands I’d totally over play and screw myself. This year I haven’t really done that. After each tourney I felt I played well, just either got out played or didn’t get the right cards. Last night I got off to a decent start. For the first 45 minutes or so I was pretty quiet. Finally I began to pick up a few hands, nothing big though, but I started getting a stack. I’m not sure when or how but that stack grew to what was probably the second biggest stack. And then it happened. Porqchop beautifully played a hand, while I was totally bluffing at a hand I had no right being in. He slow played, and nearly earned an Oscar for his Heath Ledger like performance, quads that he got on the flop. I thought I was done for.
This was followed up soon after by another stupid call, this time against a guy we have given the endearing nicknames of Bradasow and Devil Down, in which I doubled him up. But since I had such a good size stack at this time, it didn’t cripple me. Soon we were down to the final eight and I was still in good position. Now I’m starting to think about that if I don’t get stupid, I can actually take some money home. And just a few bucks and some nice points is all I’m thinking about. A little cash for Vegas, and maybe a chance to play at the big kids table at the end. And well, as much as I believe poker isn’t true gambling that it is indeed at the very least somewhat a skill game I also know you aren’t winning a tournament without some form of luck. And I got lucky. I thought the one called Bradasow was bluffing, and since I had a decent (at best) hand with plenty of outs, I called a raise. The river came giving me a nut straight, and he went all in, I called and some how my nemesis was beaten. That took the field down to five, and I was in fantastic shape. I don’t recall the rest of the hands only I took out James, a participant in the 2006 World Series of Poker, in a hand where my pocket jacks went up against his ace-jack. I also got lucky with knocking out the third place finisher, I was in a blind and had to call his all-in with an two over cards and a gut shot straight draw. Hit the straight on the river and it was down to two.
Fred and I have played in some free games at a local bar, as well as many lunch games at my place when I had week days off. Normally he scares the hell out of me, he insists he only plays premium hands but it’s complete bull. I had him out chipped like 4:1, he made a raise pre-flop which I called. I hit top pair with a king kicker, and he had a flush draw so he went all-in. I called and my pair hit, making me the winner for the night. Did I play well? I think so. Did I get lucky? No question. Maybe it was karma, maybe it was the fact that I nearly didn’t even play since my niece and nephew got into town last night. And if they had a flight that came in before 10:30 I probably wouldn’t have played, so I probably have to spend some of the money on them.
One other highlight was aRoyal Flush I’ve which is the second seen in person, that’s just too cool.
August 15, 2006
"Fixed the glitch"
There was a glitch with the comments feature, and well, we fixed the glitch. So you do not have to register to leave comments.
And there's also a guestbook in the links section, more then welcome to leave a note there.
And there's also a guestbook in the links section, more then welcome to leave a note there.
Hirpline News
Watching the news has never really been a pleasant experience and of late it’s become almost terrifying. And it seems like that’s their goal now. It’s been going this direction for a while now but it’s to a point now that responsible reporting is making sure you’re reporters are wearing a flack jacket as they point out their location on a map. Admittedly these are scary times, and it appears as if everyday we’re that much closer to World War III, so it’s not as if the media is making it up. Well, not all of it anyway. What they are doing is, adding flames to the fire.
The other day I was watching one of the news channels, I don’t recall which one it was, and they had two guests on this show totally contradicting each other. Which is fine but, they never even had them respond to each other or even talk directly to each other. One guest was saying how easy it is to bring down a plane, that it wouldn’t take much of an explosion. As the other guest, a former pilot explained how hard it is. That they need to get lucky and place a bomb in one of about five locations, surprisingly he didn’t pull out a blueprint and explain himself further. And did the host take a second to point out the fact that these two were so far off? No, why bother. The goal isn’t to inform, it’s to scary the holy hell out of us.
They seem more interested in having a better tag line then doing something that might resemble journalism. Every guest they have has an angle, either a new book to sell or an axe to grind or maybe a future campaign to kick start. So far this is what I’ve learned; we’re going to get hit by another horrible terrorist attack most likely worse then 9/11 only we don’t know any details, the Middle East is more then a little volatile, no one likes America, and we’ve got really great bombs. Oh and it’s all George Bush’s fault, except for the parts we blame Bill Clinton for. Meanwhile they pretty much ignore the biggest story, just the small fact that of the 24 alleged terrorists that were nabbed last week, none have any direct ties to Iraq.
Tell ya what, I’m going to be your news now. This just in:
• The President of Iran is on 60 Minutes getting better press then Bush has ever gotten (and I’m not even sure if this bothers me) and he’s buying a billion dollars worth of weapons from Russia, working with China and North Korea with the goal of bringing down the US. I’ll tell you this much, he has a much better foreign policy then Bush. Three allies, Bush must be jealous.
• A group of Egyptian students disappeared before making it to Montana, the FBI wants to find them but it’s no big deal. They aren’t criminals but, their visas are no longer good. We can’t show you what they look like, because well, you already know what Middle Eastern college students look like. And we just hope they don’t start taking the bus. That never goes well.
• Fidel Castro is near death, but he’s taking pictures holding a newspaper so he’s okay now. But for a second, we really thought he was going to croak.
• Israel is at war, it’s getting pretty messy. No one in the Middle East seems to like those people. Did you hear what Mel Gibson said yet?
• Oh, we allegedly just stopped a really big terrorist attack. It’s only after an actual attack that we’ll start talking conspiracy theory. It’s not as if anyone could have had anything to gain by claiming a huge attack was stopped. See we’re so cynical here at Hirp News, that we almost need someone caught after lighting the fuse to believe it to be true.
• We have reason to believe most baseball players are on steroids but, we only want to see Barry Bonds go to jail. And no other professional athletes are taking anything other then vitamins.
• Mel Gibson said some horrible things, was driving drunk, and we know his father’s an anti-Semite. But Patrick Swayze said it can’t be true, so we totally have no clue what to think. Did we mention he made over $300 million himself with Passion of the Christ?
Coming up after the break, the end of the world is months away, and great deals for that last minute summer vacation.
The other day I was watching one of the news channels, I don’t recall which one it was, and they had two guests on this show totally contradicting each other. Which is fine but, they never even had them respond to each other or even talk directly to each other. One guest was saying how easy it is to bring down a plane, that it wouldn’t take much of an explosion. As the other guest, a former pilot explained how hard it is. That they need to get lucky and place a bomb in one of about five locations, surprisingly he didn’t pull out a blueprint and explain himself further. And did the host take a second to point out the fact that these two were so far off? No, why bother. The goal isn’t to inform, it’s to scary the holy hell out of us.
They seem more interested in having a better tag line then doing something that might resemble journalism. Every guest they have has an angle, either a new book to sell or an axe to grind or maybe a future campaign to kick start. So far this is what I’ve learned; we’re going to get hit by another horrible terrorist attack most likely worse then 9/11 only we don’t know any details, the Middle East is more then a little volatile, no one likes America, and we’ve got really great bombs. Oh and it’s all George Bush’s fault, except for the parts we blame Bill Clinton for. Meanwhile they pretty much ignore the biggest story, just the small fact that of the 24 alleged terrorists that were nabbed last week, none have any direct ties to Iraq.
Tell ya what, I’m going to be your news now. This just in:
• The President of Iran is on 60 Minutes getting better press then Bush has ever gotten (and I’m not even sure if this bothers me) and he’s buying a billion dollars worth of weapons from Russia, working with China and North Korea with the goal of bringing down the US. I’ll tell you this much, he has a much better foreign policy then Bush. Three allies, Bush must be jealous.
• A group of Egyptian students disappeared before making it to Montana, the FBI wants to find them but it’s no big deal. They aren’t criminals but, their visas are no longer good. We can’t show you what they look like, because well, you already know what Middle Eastern college students look like. And we just hope they don’t start taking the bus. That never goes well.
• Fidel Castro is near death, but he’s taking pictures holding a newspaper so he’s okay now. But for a second, we really thought he was going to croak.
• Israel is at war, it’s getting pretty messy. No one in the Middle East seems to like those people. Did you hear what Mel Gibson said yet?
• Oh, we allegedly just stopped a really big terrorist attack. It’s only after an actual attack that we’ll start talking conspiracy theory. It’s not as if anyone could have had anything to gain by claiming a huge attack was stopped. See we’re so cynical here at Hirp News, that we almost need someone caught after lighting the fuse to believe it to be true.
• We have reason to believe most baseball players are on steroids but, we only want to see Barry Bonds go to jail. And no other professional athletes are taking anything other then vitamins.
• Mel Gibson said some horrible things, was driving drunk, and we know his father’s an anti-Semite. But Patrick Swayze said it can’t be true, so we totally have no clue what to think. Did we mention he made over $300 million himself with Passion of the Christ?
Coming up after the break, the end of the world is months away, and great deals for that last minute summer vacation.
August 14, 2006
Yo Man, It's the Formula
This summer I’ve found two new shows worth watching, Saved and Psych, and I suggest you set check them out. This isn’t going to be an entry where I review them though. See, I’ve noticed some similarities between the two, and it seems to be the new formula for television shows. Where as a few years back everything seemed to try and copy Friends, you had a group of good looking white kids who seemed to have life styles we all wanted. They had interesting jobs, or crappy jobs that paid well enough to support pricey apartments. They never had trouble getting dates, and always had a cool place to hang out.
And I’m not entirely sure where this change happened but, now I can count four shows that I watch that fit this new formula, which goes like this:
1CWG + 1RBGx IC= TV show
(1 charming white guy + 1 responsible black guy x an interesting career)
It’s close to the ol’ reliable buddy cop formula Hollywood has used since the 80’s. With Saved, you have a paramedic who comes from a well to do family. Only he’s a bit of disappointment since he didn’t want to become an actual doctor, and he has a bit of a gambling problem. Still, nothing seems to faze him. He’ll bond with the sick girl, or risk his life to save a trapped woman or face his bookie without worrying about his own well being. Meanwhile at work he drives around in an ambulance with his black partner, who is busting his tale to be a decent father and takes everything seriously. They’re breaking stereotypes damnit.
In Psych, we have yet another son who has let his father down. This time Dads a cop and tried for years to train his son to have a photographic memory, which he does. But instead of using it for good, he’s used it to skate through life. Basically he’s Ferris Bueller on constant vacation. Then he trips into a gig as a psychic for the local police. Always able to figure out what happened before the police. Oh, and he has a partner. A reluctant one, if anything, who also happens to be black. Who has a steady job, is a bit anal and just thinks that police work should be left to the inept cops.
Shows from the fall season that seem to also fit this formula are House (although Omar Epps isn’t EXACTLY House’s partner) And Scrubs. What’s interesting me is that they have yet to try this formula (that I know of) with female leads. Or maybe that’s a show on WE. What I propose is taking this, mixing it with the formula that makes Entourage so great and some how made every women in the world watch Sex in the City, sprinkle in a few parts of whatever JJ Abrams does and you’ll have the biggest show in the history of the world. It might even be Tivo-able.
And I’m not entirely sure where this change happened but, now I can count four shows that I watch that fit this new formula, which goes like this:
1CWG + 1RBGx IC= TV show
(1 charming white guy + 1 responsible black guy x an interesting career)
It’s close to the ol’ reliable buddy cop formula Hollywood has used since the 80’s. With Saved, you have a paramedic who comes from a well to do family. Only he’s a bit of disappointment since he didn’t want to become an actual doctor, and he has a bit of a gambling problem. Still, nothing seems to faze him. He’ll bond with the sick girl, or risk his life to save a trapped woman or face his bookie without worrying about his own well being. Meanwhile at work he drives around in an ambulance with his black partner, who is busting his tale to be a decent father and takes everything seriously. They’re breaking stereotypes damnit.
In Psych, we have yet another son who has let his father down. This time Dads a cop and tried for years to train his son to have a photographic memory, which he does. But instead of using it for good, he’s used it to skate through life. Basically he’s Ferris Bueller on constant vacation. Then he trips into a gig as a psychic for the local police. Always able to figure out what happened before the police. Oh, and he has a partner. A reluctant one, if anything, who also happens to be black. Who has a steady job, is a bit anal and just thinks that police work should be left to the inept cops.
Shows from the fall season that seem to also fit this formula are House (although Omar Epps isn’t EXACTLY House’s partner) And Scrubs. What’s interesting me is that they have yet to try this formula (that I know of) with female leads. Or maybe that’s a show on WE. What I propose is taking this, mixing it with the formula that makes Entourage so great and some how made every women in the world watch Sex in the City, sprinkle in a few parts of whatever JJ Abrams does and you’ll have the biggest show in the history of the world. It might even be Tivo-able.
Coming Up Short
“You can all sell out if you want to homie, but I’m gonna stay short and funky,” rapped Too Short back in 1990. The song quickly became one of my theme songs, and is to this day, for pretty obvious reasons. For those who haven’t met me, I’m a bit short; I stand at 5’5”.Okay, 5’5ish. And my height has without question played a big role in making me who I am today.
I won’t lie and say there haven’t been times I wished I was a little bit taller, or wished I was a baler or even that I had a girl in the hood and I would call her. (From the song “I Wish” by a rapper Skee Lo in 1995) No, there were definitely times I viewed my lack of height as a huge negative. Mainly as a kid, when I knew I’d be one of the last picked and from an early age I knew the long odds against me to play center for the Knicks. So sure, it bothered me. And even now, there are times I would prefer to be a few inches taller.
But being short isn’t without its own perks. I’m not one of those guys walking around with a Napoleon complex. Well, maybe a little but, I don’t meet the definition down to a “t.” There’s been a time or two I talked a little tougher to compensate. I might be just a tad bit argumentative and somewhat of a last word freak. I swear it’s just cause I am always right, why shouldn’t I have the last word? But for the most part, it’s been a positive for me. It’s given me a lot of my personality. My quick wit came about as a necessity. It was either hear the short jokes and take them, or find something about those average people to strike back at. And for the record, short jokes have never bothered me. Only the bad short jokes. So my sense of humor is a direct result of my height. Also I can laugh at myself, and if I make the short joke first it disarms people.
Let me quickly tell you some of the pluses to being short. For starters, women never see my eyes look down to check them out. It’s all eye level. If a store is having a sale, there’s always a better chance they’ll have my size. If I do get in a fight, I’m supposed to lose, which means I have less to lose. Trust me, you’d look a lot more foolish losing to a short guy then he’d look losing to you. Everyone wants to give you a nickname. And the strange bond short people have with each other. It’s an easy ice breaker, and a common bond. What do you average people have? You can’t tease each other about how average you are. Well, if you do it sure as hell won’t be funny. I think it’s part of why I get along so well with kids, we see eye to eye. In a world where they feel everything and everyone towers over them, I do not. It might help that I haven’t matured much since 5th grade, maybe just a tad.
There was a case recently where a girl I liked shot me down, and the reasons given weren’t height related. Later though in one of these MySpace surveys (which are E-Crack for the record) she listed the first two things she notices about a guy as height and his voice. So, sure there are still times that it’s a pain in the ass. And I understand why women want, not just a guy that’s taller then them, but a tall guy in general. I know they just want to be able to wear all their shoes without it being an issue. More then that though, it’s a safety thing. If a guys tall, well he obviously can protect them. They just don’t understand a short guy won’t allow them to get into a situation where their safety is jeopardized. See, the view from here is different and you learn to see what’s around the corner. And would even want to read a blog entry about someone being of average height? Short and funky is much more interesting.
I won’t lie and say there haven’t been times I wished I was a little bit taller, or wished I was a baler or even that I had a girl in the hood and I would call her. (From the song “I Wish” by a rapper Skee Lo in 1995) No, there were definitely times I viewed my lack of height as a huge negative. Mainly as a kid, when I knew I’d be one of the last picked and from an early age I knew the long odds against me to play center for the Knicks. So sure, it bothered me. And even now, there are times I would prefer to be a few inches taller.
But being short isn’t without its own perks. I’m not one of those guys walking around with a Napoleon complex. Well, maybe a little but, I don’t meet the definition down to a “t.” There’s been a time or two I talked a little tougher to compensate. I might be just a tad bit argumentative and somewhat of a last word freak. I swear it’s just cause I am always right, why shouldn’t I have the last word? But for the most part, it’s been a positive for me. It’s given me a lot of my personality. My quick wit came about as a necessity. It was either hear the short jokes and take them, or find something about those average people to strike back at. And for the record, short jokes have never bothered me. Only the bad short jokes. So my sense of humor is a direct result of my height. Also I can laugh at myself, and if I make the short joke first it disarms people.
Let me quickly tell you some of the pluses to being short. For starters, women never see my eyes look down to check them out. It’s all eye level. If a store is having a sale, there’s always a better chance they’ll have my size. If I do get in a fight, I’m supposed to lose, which means I have less to lose. Trust me, you’d look a lot more foolish losing to a short guy then he’d look losing to you. Everyone wants to give you a nickname. And the strange bond short people have with each other. It’s an easy ice breaker, and a common bond. What do you average people have? You can’t tease each other about how average you are. Well, if you do it sure as hell won’t be funny. I think it’s part of why I get along so well with kids, we see eye to eye. In a world where they feel everything and everyone towers over them, I do not. It might help that I haven’t matured much since 5th grade, maybe just a tad.
There was a case recently where a girl I liked shot me down, and the reasons given weren’t height related. Later though in one of these MySpace surveys (which are E-Crack for the record) she listed the first two things she notices about a guy as height and his voice. So, sure there are still times that it’s a pain in the ass. And I understand why women want, not just a guy that’s taller then them, but a tall guy in general. I know they just want to be able to wear all their shoes without it being an issue. More then that though, it’s a safety thing. If a guys tall, well he obviously can protect them. They just don’t understand a short guy won’t allow them to get into a situation where their safety is jeopardized. See, the view from here is different and you learn to see what’s around the corner. And would even want to read a blog entry about someone being of average height? Short and funky is much more interesting.
August 11, 2006
God Stuff
After seeing World Trade Center, I made my way over to the message boards at the great IMDB.com, just to see what other movie goers were saying. First of all, message boards get annoying real quick. What could be a fun and interesting way to exchange thoughts turns into a headache when the idiots start posting crap just to get a rise out of everyone. Unfortunately that board is no longer about the movie, instead its conspiracies and racism. If I wanted that, I’d watch Fox News.
Nevertheless, one thread on there did make me stop and think. And that’s lead to a new post. I know, I know, you’re so excited you can barely hide it. Probably emailed all your friends or you’re waiting to print this out to take to the john. I do what I can to entertain. ANYWAY. There was a post asking why some of the Muslims in England put their religion before their country. This question didn’t sit right with me. I mean, how many Americans are there that consider themselves Christian first, or Jewish? This isn’t a phenomenon just for Muslims; it’s a problem (one of many) with organized religion. Every single one of them.
I understand the thinking that their relationship with their God and being right with him when they die is of some importance. This makes perfect sense. But to think that this God, wants you put him/her before your neighbors is what I don’t get. I’m no scholar, I haven’t read the bible, and if I were to own one I’d probably use it to kill spiders. But I think I have a decent understanding for the concept of God, even if I don’t believe, and my take is this; treat each other well. That really seems to be the theme, to me anyway. And if you do that, you should be okay when you meet your maker. To think God wants anything else, well I think that’s actually having a pretty low opinion of the big fella. And why would you want to worry about pleasing someone you think is so egocentric that you are supposed to put him (or her) before everything else? You would tell your friend to dump someone that thought that but, it’s okay for God to be like that?
Another thing, calling these terrorists Muslims is ridiculous. I can claim to be six foot, doesn’t make it so. Like I said, if there’s a God the one thing we’re supposed to do is treat each other well. Strapping a bomb to your back, or launching a missile probably doesn’t qualify. So if you’re going to, then fine do it. Just be honest about why you’re doing it. Right now we have two sides who both think they are doing Gods work
Nevertheless, one thread on there did make me stop and think. And that’s lead to a new post. I know, I know, you’re so excited you can barely hide it. Probably emailed all your friends or you’re waiting to print this out to take to the john. I do what I can to entertain. ANYWAY. There was a post asking why some of the Muslims in England put their religion before their country. This question didn’t sit right with me. I mean, how many Americans are there that consider themselves Christian first, or Jewish? This isn’t a phenomenon just for Muslims; it’s a problem (one of many) with organized religion. Every single one of them.
I understand the thinking that their relationship with their God and being right with him when they die is of some importance. This makes perfect sense. But to think that this God, wants you put him/her before your neighbors is what I don’t get. I’m no scholar, I haven’t read the bible, and if I were to own one I’d probably use it to kill spiders. But I think I have a decent understanding for the concept of God, even if I don’t believe, and my take is this; treat each other well. That really seems to be the theme, to me anyway. And if you do that, you should be okay when you meet your maker. To think God wants anything else, well I think that’s actually having a pretty low opinion of the big fella. And why would you want to worry about pleasing someone you think is so egocentric that you are supposed to put him (or her) before everything else? You would tell your friend to dump someone that thought that but, it’s okay for God to be like that?
Another thing, calling these terrorists Muslims is ridiculous. I can claim to be six foot, doesn’t make it so. Like I said, if there’s a God the one thing we’re supposed to do is treat each other well. Strapping a bomb to your back, or launching a missile probably doesn’t qualify. So if you’re going to, then fine do it. Just be honest about why you’re doing it. Right now we have two sides who both think they are doing Gods work
August 10, 2006
Movie Review: World Trade Center
I literally just walked in the door from seeing the new Oliver Stone movie, World Trade Center. Maybe I’d be better off giving it a night to soak in before writing a review but, since when has anything on here followed logic? Moving forward. I am far from an Oliver Stone fan, I haven’t really been impressed with anything he’s done since Wall Street. Sure JFK was well done and interesting but, it was also too preachy and too slanted. So when I heard he of all people was directing a movie about 9-11, I was learly at best. To his credit, he checked any opinions at the door and just told the story, of not so much the most horrific day in American history, but of courage and hope.
Let’s start from the beginning. The first three or so minutes we see New York City, and it was absolutely beautiful. Such great photography that the smell of popcorn was replaced with that of pretzels and exhaust. Man I miss those scents. And I give Stone a lot of credit for not showing the towers being hit. The shadow of a low flying plane against a building was much more haunting.
Most of the performances were solid to very good with Maggie Gyllenhall stepping her game up a notch. If she isn’t nominated for an Oscar I’ll be shocked. Nic Cage and Michael Pena deserve a lot of credit as well, most of their screen time is in the dark or literally the depths of hell. Being that they were both trapped under debris all we really have is their eyes and how they deliver the dialog. Far from easy, not that I’d know, but I’d imagine it’s pretty hard so lay off.
Of course it has a few areas that could have been stronger. At times it was a bit cheesy, mainly when either the trapped officers or their wives go into flashbacks. I understand there’s this love and sweet memories of their lives together. But jumping into a flashback is more what I’d expect from a made for television movie trying to tug at some strings. Personally, I believe it would have been more powerful to just watch the characters as they are remembering and how powerful the memories are. Have a little more faith in your actors.
Now as for the question, is it too soon? No, definitely not. I’m sure of this for one simple fact, if these people were ready to tell their story we should be ready to hear it. We owe it to them, and to ourselves. We haven’t forgotten how horrible it was, that’s easy to remember. We did, however, forget how it changed us. You hear Cage in the preview telling us how that day people, “were kind to each other for other reason then it was the right thing to do.” It wasn’t that way just in Manhattan. If you were driving down the highway and someone cut you off, you let it slide. Standing in line behind someone who fumbled through her pocketbook trying to locate her checkbook, didn’t fill you with resentment. Everyone wanted to know what they could do to help. Foods, clothes, money, donate blood or enlist. That’s what we forgot, and that’s what we needed to be reminded of. There’s a line in World Trade Center, that sadly they said while quoting GI Jane, “Pain is your friend, it lets you know you’re not dead.” So, watching this might hurt at times but that’s not a bad thing.
I wouldn’t give it the full HIRP stamp of approval but, a solid HIR.
Let’s start from the beginning. The first three or so minutes we see New York City, and it was absolutely beautiful. Such great photography that the smell of popcorn was replaced with that of pretzels and exhaust. Man I miss those scents. And I give Stone a lot of credit for not showing the towers being hit. The shadow of a low flying plane against a building was much more haunting.
Most of the performances were solid to very good with Maggie Gyllenhall stepping her game up a notch. If she isn’t nominated for an Oscar I’ll be shocked. Nic Cage and Michael Pena deserve a lot of credit as well, most of their screen time is in the dark or literally the depths of hell. Being that they were both trapped under debris all we really have is their eyes and how they deliver the dialog. Far from easy, not that I’d know, but I’d imagine it’s pretty hard so lay off.
Of course it has a few areas that could have been stronger. At times it was a bit cheesy, mainly when either the trapped officers or their wives go into flashbacks. I understand there’s this love and sweet memories of their lives together. But jumping into a flashback is more what I’d expect from a made for television movie trying to tug at some strings. Personally, I believe it would have been more powerful to just watch the characters as they are remembering and how powerful the memories are. Have a little more faith in your actors.
Now as for the question, is it too soon? No, definitely not. I’m sure of this for one simple fact, if these people were ready to tell their story we should be ready to hear it. We owe it to them, and to ourselves. We haven’t forgotten how horrible it was, that’s easy to remember. We did, however, forget how it changed us. You hear Cage in the preview telling us how that day people, “were kind to each other for other reason then it was the right thing to do.” It wasn’t that way just in Manhattan. If you were driving down the highway and someone cut you off, you let it slide. Standing in line behind someone who fumbled through her pocketbook trying to locate her checkbook, didn’t fill you with resentment. Everyone wanted to know what they could do to help. Foods, clothes, money, donate blood or enlist. That’s what we forgot, and that’s what we needed to be reminded of. There’s a line in World Trade Center, that sadly they said while quoting GI Jane, “Pain is your friend, it lets you know you’re not dead.” So, watching this might hurt at times but that’s not a bad thing.
I wouldn’t give it the full HIRP stamp of approval but, a solid HIR.
August 09, 2006
Wal-mart: Sofa King We Todd Did
I’ve never been a Wal-Mart shopper. I mean there have been a few occasions that I ran in to pick up something, or get some DVDs cheap. It isn’t that I’m a snob and above shopping there, although I admit I like some brand name stuff they simply do not carry, it’s just not a good shopping experience. Long lines, bad customer service, dirty stores and fact you are guaranteed to see some lady in a moomoo shopping with her NASCAR apparel wearing kids. That isn’t easy on the eyes.
But Wal-Mart is a huge company, so they do something right. They must, right? Let’s see, it is affordable. That’s a plus. And um, well to be honest that is it. But they know this, and market themselves that way. They don’t try and tell us it’s hip to shop there. Just that it’s smart. I must say all the credit should go to their ad agencies. Ah but I see a future, and it’s a great one. I see a future without Wal-Mart, moomoos or Dale Jr hats. Seems Wal-Mart has decided to go a different direction with its advertising agency. I see it going one of two ways; they try to be hip and cool or basically they try to be Target. Or they dumb it down so much; they end up mocking and alienating their customer base. I can see a little Sam Walton cartoon character, speaking all redneck to America, embarrassing their customers. Or some smart and savvy ads that suddenly make it look like another Target, and if you want Target you just go there. The end is near.
And this is great news for America. Sure it’ll be a hit the economy. We’ll rebound from that. It will be great because, we have the Wal-Mart of Presidents in W, and another like him can’t survive in a Wal-Mart free society. We shop at Wal-Mart because the ads make it sound like such a good idea, that it’s just like you and me. We voted this idiot in with the same mentality. Now we can go back to dreaming big and chasing down the American dream. They had a nice run but, they just sunk their own ship.
But Wal-Mart is a huge company, so they do something right. They must, right? Let’s see, it is affordable. That’s a plus. And um, well to be honest that is it. But they know this, and market themselves that way. They don’t try and tell us it’s hip to shop there. Just that it’s smart. I must say all the credit should go to their ad agencies. Ah but I see a future, and it’s a great one. I see a future without Wal-Mart, moomoos or Dale Jr hats. Seems Wal-Mart has decided to go a different direction with its advertising agency. I see it going one of two ways; they try to be hip and cool or basically they try to be Target. Or they dumb it down so much; they end up mocking and alienating their customer base. I can see a little Sam Walton cartoon character, speaking all redneck to America, embarrassing their customers. Or some smart and savvy ads that suddenly make it look like another Target, and if you want Target you just go there. The end is near.
And this is great news for America. Sure it’ll be a hit the economy. We’ll rebound from that. It will be great because, we have the Wal-Mart of Presidents in W, and another like him can’t survive in a Wal-Mart free society. We shop at Wal-Mart because the ads make it sound like such a good idea, that it’s just like you and me. We voted this idiot in with the same mentality. Now we can go back to dreaming big and chasing down the American dream. They had a nice run but, they just sunk their own ship.
Jersey-n-Girls
Hit the K last night for a Royals game, and I made some observations as well as being reminded of something I had wanted to write a post about for some time now. First, we’ll tackle the new observation. This is something I don’t understand, people who go to a baseball game wearing a jersey of a team that IS NOT playing at said game. I saw so many jerseys of other teams last night, it made my head spin. Well, the beer might have done that. Either way my head spun. But can someone make sense of this for me? I mean, I’m there and I could pretty much care less about who wins, neither team is my favorite team. Are these guys trying to make a statement about their loyalty? Then cheer accordingly. Oh, you’re on the Yankees bandwagon, well then just cheer against the Royals. Or just wear your Yankee hat, this I can live with. I’ll wear my Met hat to just about anything, a Royals game or a KU basketball game. There’s a big difference between an adult wearing a hat or a jersey. For starters, unless you’re Turtle, you aren’t wearing a jersey on any random day. Many of us will wear a hat for no reason at all. I own a Met jersey but, now that I’m *ahem* in my late 20’s I don’t think I need to rock a jersey.
Before I go on, there was one complete moron that I need to address here. Understand Kansas City in August, it was about 100 degrees yesterday and 90 at the time of the first pitch. And there was this kid wearing this leather Boston Red Sox jacket. Re-read that real quickly. That’s right, a friggin leather jacket in Kansas City. This has nothing to do with the fact he was wearing a sports team jacket, which in itself is pretty ridiculous. The fact that it was leather is ridiculous. Even funnier to me, is under it he wore a wife beater so I guess he thought he MIGHT be warm.
Now I went to the game with some people from work, including two very attractive women. Understand, normally when I go out be it with just female friends or friends and their wives, that I hang out with some pretty attractive broads (Frank, I’m trying to bring back broads and dames) that’s just how I roll. So I’ve noticed this many times before. But, it is half hilarious and half pathetic to watch guys react to a pretty girl. Heads whip around, guys nudge each other, do the head point, cough to get each others attention or even stare without even trying to hide it. And what’s so funny to me about it is the fact that my friends and I are probably JUST like that. It’s a bit embarrassing when I realize this. Luckily I forget that when I’m in the situation. I mean fellas; really we must get better at this. I think we’ve all gotten really good at not getting caught by the women themselves that is even easy by now. What also strikes me as humorous about this is the reaction I have to them. The uncle in me comes out, and I want to tell them to keep their eyes above neck level. One day I’ll have to post about how funny it is when girls I’m just hanging out with get hit on in front of me.
Before I go on, there was one complete moron that I need to address here. Understand Kansas City in August, it was about 100 degrees yesterday and 90 at the time of the first pitch. And there was this kid wearing this leather Boston Red Sox jacket. Re-read that real quickly. That’s right, a friggin leather jacket in Kansas City. This has nothing to do with the fact he was wearing a sports team jacket, which in itself is pretty ridiculous. The fact that it was leather is ridiculous. Even funnier to me, is under it he wore a wife beater so I guess he thought he MIGHT be warm.
Now I went to the game with some people from work, including two very attractive women. Understand, normally when I go out be it with just female friends or friends and their wives, that I hang out with some pretty attractive broads (Frank, I’m trying to bring back broads and dames) that’s just how I roll. So I’ve noticed this many times before. But, it is half hilarious and half pathetic to watch guys react to a pretty girl. Heads whip around, guys nudge each other, do the head point, cough to get each others attention or even stare without even trying to hide it. And what’s so funny to me about it is the fact that my friends and I are probably JUST like that. It’s a bit embarrassing when I realize this. Luckily I forget that when I’m in the situation. I mean fellas; really we must get better at this. I think we’ve all gotten really good at not getting caught by the women themselves that is even easy by now. What also strikes me as humorous about this is the reaction I have to them. The uncle in me comes out, and I want to tell them to keep their eyes above neck level. One day I’ll have to post about how funny it is when girls I’m just hanging out with get hit on in front of me.
August 08, 2006
Selling Out
Alright, the first post since moving into the new digs, and I think it’s going to be a good one boys and girls. Last night I had a conversation with someone about what is and what is not “selling out.” And as expected, they had some very strong feelings on the subject as most people do. See, recently I’ve gotten to know a few Taylor Hicks fans and it’s a loyal bunch which you know I respect. For the record, this isn’t anti-Hicks or even an anti-Idol post. I’ll save the latter for another time. But it’s of great importance that you know the truth (who the conversation was with) and understand a little about the famed Soul Patrol (it’s actually not a cult.)
I made the point that any artist would do just about anything for the right amount of money; essentially that everyone has a price. I firmly believe this to be true, and not just for artists. This loyal soul was adamant that dear Taylor would never ever sell out. I went as far as to say that for the right amount of zeros he would even record something like a Britney Spears cover. No way, now how she said. He’s a man of integrity and won’t ever do something like this. Well, for starters covering a Spears song wouldn’t be selling out, a bad career move perhaps but not the move of a “sell-out.” See, its common practice for an artist to do something for a pay day thus allowing them to do something more personal.
See Entourage for example, and don’t tell me it’s a television show, with Vince doing Aquaman. Obviously not the movie his heart and soul is into, but the big pay day allows him to still do a movie like Queens Boulevard. I used the famed Mel Gibson as an example as well. I’m fairly certain he didn’t believe What Women Want was great cinema. Yet, he took the bigger pay day of that and many other movies and pooled that money together to make Passion. He funded it out of his pocket so he could do it his way. It’s just smart business. Selling out would have been letting Michael Bay direct it, and changing his vision for the movie. Like setting it in Miami, with Jesus doing lines of coke off a hooker’s chest.
Selling out is not just something artists are faced with. It’s a line we all walk. Man (or woman) takes a job that pays a salary. This salary will help them provide a certain life style for them and their family. This is not selling out. Now, taking a job and putting that job ahead of your family. That, now that would be selling out.
Back to Taylor Hicks and that conversation. When the fan told me he would never ever sell out, I asked about that Ford commercial. She insisted he only did it because of his contract. Um, that’s a compromise right there. I believe he read the contract, or at least I hope he did, and knew wow I gotta do this horrible commercial. But it’ll give me a nice pay check, and then he signed. So, right there the man “compromised” his integrity. It wasn’t selling out. Now if Sir Paul McCartney actually had the rights to the Beatles music and he licensed “Revolution” for a friggin Nike commercial, that WOULD be selling out. Taking something you’ve done for one reason, and using it for another is selling out. Sadly, Michael Jackson owns the rights and he sold the Beatles out.
Fans toss around the term much easily. A few years back Jewel, every ones favorite folk singer, did what looked to be a bubble gum pop record. Right away, many branded her a “sell-out.” Shook up her image a little, and changed her sound up so automatically she had sold her soul. No one took the time to understand she was making a commentary about pop music and actually mocking the system. She might never recover completely from that. To an artist, or anyone, it’s almost like being called a rapist. Doesn’t even matter if the charges are true, they seem to stick no matter what the truth is.
I made the point that any artist would do just about anything for the right amount of money; essentially that everyone has a price. I firmly believe this to be true, and not just for artists. This loyal soul was adamant that dear Taylor would never ever sell out. I went as far as to say that for the right amount of zeros he would even record something like a Britney Spears cover. No way, now how she said. He’s a man of integrity and won’t ever do something like this. Well, for starters covering a Spears song wouldn’t be selling out, a bad career move perhaps but not the move of a “sell-out.” See, its common practice for an artist to do something for a pay day thus allowing them to do something more personal.
See Entourage for example, and don’t tell me it’s a television show, with Vince doing Aquaman. Obviously not the movie his heart and soul is into, but the big pay day allows him to still do a movie like Queens Boulevard. I used the famed Mel Gibson as an example as well. I’m fairly certain he didn’t believe What Women Want was great cinema. Yet, he took the bigger pay day of that and many other movies and pooled that money together to make Passion. He funded it out of his pocket so he could do it his way. It’s just smart business. Selling out would have been letting Michael Bay direct it, and changing his vision for the movie. Like setting it in Miami, with Jesus doing lines of coke off a hooker’s chest.
Selling out is not just something artists are faced with. It’s a line we all walk. Man (or woman) takes a job that pays a salary. This salary will help them provide a certain life style for them and their family. This is not selling out. Now, taking a job and putting that job ahead of your family. That, now that would be selling out.
Back to Taylor Hicks and that conversation. When the fan told me he would never ever sell out, I asked about that Ford commercial. She insisted he only did it because of his contract. Um, that’s a compromise right there. I believe he read the contract, or at least I hope he did, and knew wow I gotta do this horrible commercial. But it’ll give me a nice pay check, and then he signed. So, right there the man “compromised” his integrity. It wasn’t selling out. Now if Sir Paul McCartney actually had the rights to the Beatles music and he licensed “Revolution” for a friggin Nike commercial, that WOULD be selling out. Taking something you’ve done for one reason, and using it for another is selling out. Sadly, Michael Jackson owns the rights and he sold the Beatles out.
Fans toss around the term much easily. A few years back Jewel, every ones favorite folk singer, did what looked to be a bubble gum pop record. Right away, many branded her a “sell-out.” Shook up her image a little, and changed her sound up so automatically she had sold her soul. No one took the time to understand she was making a commentary about pop music and actually mocking the system. She might never recover completely from that. To an artist, or anyone, it’s almost like being called a rapist. Doesn’t even matter if the charges are true, they seem to stick no matter what the truth is.
August 07, 2006
www.FromTheHirp.com
Allow myself to re-introduce..myself. You may notice a change or two around these here parts. It's all part of our(my)master plan that will soon lead to world domination. Or not so much. See, I wanted Hirp.com cause, well that would just make all kinds of sense, but due to the fact some @$$holes have the rights to the name and won't give it up I was forced to come up with a different name. So, mark your favorite places and tell your friends. FromTheHirp.com is now the place to hear, well me!
-quick thank you to Porqchop for the new poster, as well as all the other posters he's made.
-quick thank you to Porqchop for the new poster, as well as all the other posters he's made.
August 04, 2006
Hirplings
It’s finally Friday, that took longer then expected. I’d love to some day here a logical explanation for why time sometimes feels different. Some days it flies by, some hours drag on for days and I can’t even come close to wrapping my head around why that is. I know this though, today is going to be a long one. See I kinda forgot to take the Ritalin this morning. And it’s totally not my fault, I’m house sitting again and it totally messed up my routine. I’d give you a few more reasons why it’s not my fault but I’ve decided to spin around in my swivel chair for a few minutes.
Okay, I’m back. And a little dizzy. I really don’t have any one topic today, friggin ADD, so we’re gonna go with some completely unrelated thoughts.
*Mark McGwire is on the ballot for the Hall of Fame next year, and I haven’t a clue if I think he should go or not. Biggest reason to vote for him, he never failed a test. He looked like an idiot in Washington DC but who doesn’t? He was a baseball player, not a lawyer. And cheating in baseball, it’s really part of the game. Much like lying is part of being a lawyer. How many guys in the Hall doctored the ball, or used too much pine tar or broke other rules? Cheating is cheating right? Isn’t that why a President was impeached? But you gotta draw a line somewhere right?
*World Trade Center comes out next week. Here’s another case that I have mixed feelings on. I think it’s important for most of the country to see, to remember and understand what happened that day. But, if the widows and family members of people who lost their lives that day are against it, shouldn’t we respect those wishes? Maybe it’s just too soon. No clue but, I’ll have my review on here next Thursday.
*Went and played in a free poker game last night and well, seeing a mullet just makes me happy. All I want to do is sit these guys down and ask them why, for the love of god why. And then I want to thank them.
*I think schools should go back to using good ol’ chalkboards. Talked to a friend that’s a teacher recently, and I don’t care if the dry erase board is cleaner. It doesn’t have the same sound or smell, and a real chalkboard always looked so inviting when it was good and clean. Plus you could always give someone a big white mark on the back of their black shirt with the simple toss of an eraser.
Okay, I’m back. And a little dizzy. I really don’t have any one topic today, friggin ADD, so we’re gonna go with some completely unrelated thoughts.
*Mark McGwire is on the ballot for the Hall of Fame next year, and I haven’t a clue if I think he should go or not. Biggest reason to vote for him, he never failed a test. He looked like an idiot in Washington DC but who doesn’t? He was a baseball player, not a lawyer. And cheating in baseball, it’s really part of the game. Much like lying is part of being a lawyer. How many guys in the Hall doctored the ball, or used too much pine tar or broke other rules? Cheating is cheating right? Isn’t that why a President was impeached? But you gotta draw a line somewhere right?
*World Trade Center comes out next week. Here’s another case that I have mixed feelings on. I think it’s important for most of the country to see, to remember and understand what happened that day. But, if the widows and family members of people who lost their lives that day are against it, shouldn’t we respect those wishes? Maybe it’s just too soon. No clue but, I’ll have my review on here next Thursday.
*Went and played in a free poker game last night and well, seeing a mullet just makes me happy. All I want to do is sit these guys down and ask them why, for the love of god why. And then I want to thank them.
*I think schools should go back to using good ol’ chalkboards. Talked to a friend that’s a teacher recently, and I don’t care if the dry erase board is cleaner. It doesn’t have the same sound or smell, and a real chalkboard always looked so inviting when it was good and clean. Plus you could always give someone a big white mark on the back of their black shirt with the simple toss of an eraser.
August 02, 2006
Shots from the Hirp
So I’ve been watching the news and paying some attention to this whole Castro drama in Cuba. Pretty exciting stuff might be happening. Now I’m not someone who spends tons of time getting into political debates nor is it one of my areas of expertise. (I think I have a few areas though) But one story I keep seeing is the debate on whether or not we should help set up a democracy down there. I say no. I say hell no. Not there, or anywhere else. Not because I don’t believe in democracy by any means. I just don’t really like this treating government or religion like it’s fucking Am-way and we need to convert people to any one way of thinking.
Democracy works for us, pretty well I might add. That doesn’t mean everyone else should get on board. For starters, that kind of thinking is anything BUT democratic. It’s just not for everyone. And who are we to say that it is? Same goes with religion or any idealogy. What helps you and yours, I’m all in favor for. But don’t cheapen it by treating it like it’s another pyrmid scheme. If Cuba is going to be come a democracy after Castro kicks it, then Cubans have to be the ones that make it happen. That goes for Iraq too and anywhere else for that matter.
**********************************
Now I’ve gone on record that I know zero about women. And that probably isn’t 100% accurate. I know nothing about how to get women. And this isn’t bragging here, if you ask my friends I’m fairly certain they’d back me but, I’m pretty confident that I know how to treat ‘em. See, I’ve been talking to a couple dames I know who are having guy troubles. And as different as the situations are, they are eerily similar. Mainly, guys are idiots. I recently realized that everything I know about how to treat them came from one man. One short, bald, Jewish guy from Long Island. No not me you funny bastards. Billy Joel. I shit you not.
Just The Way You Are, You May Be Right, She’s Got A Way, Tell Her About It, And So It Goes, Keeping The Faith, Matter Of Trust, I Go To Extremes, This Is The Time, She’s Always a Woman To Me, Shameless, Leave A Tender Moment Alone. Know these songs, believe everything he tells you in them and it’s really that easy. These songs won’t make you a Casanova or Don Juan, that isn’t the goal but, a decent guy without baby mama drama.
And ladies, there’s just one Liz Phair song you need to know to make a guy happy. Sorry, I can’t tell ya which one.
Democracy works for us, pretty well I might add. That doesn’t mean everyone else should get on board. For starters, that kind of thinking is anything BUT democratic. It’s just not for everyone. And who are we to say that it is? Same goes with religion or any idealogy. What helps you and yours, I’m all in favor for. But don’t cheapen it by treating it like it’s another pyrmid scheme. If Cuba is going to be come a democracy after Castro kicks it, then Cubans have to be the ones that make it happen. That goes for Iraq too and anywhere else for that matter.
**********************************
Now I’ve gone on record that I know zero about women. And that probably isn’t 100% accurate. I know nothing about how to get women. And this isn’t bragging here, if you ask my friends I’m fairly certain they’d back me but, I’m pretty confident that I know how to treat ‘em. See, I’ve been talking to a couple dames I know who are having guy troubles. And as different as the situations are, they are eerily similar. Mainly, guys are idiots. I recently realized that everything I know about how to treat them came from one man. One short, bald, Jewish guy from Long Island. No not me you funny bastards. Billy Joel. I shit you not.
Just The Way You Are, You May Be Right, She’s Got A Way, Tell Her About It, And So It Goes, Keeping The Faith, Matter Of Trust, I Go To Extremes, This Is The Time, She’s Always a Woman To Me, Shameless, Leave A Tender Moment Alone. Know these songs, believe everything he tells you in them and it’s really that easy. These songs won’t make you a Casanova or Don Juan, that isn’t the goal but, a decent guy without baby mama drama.
And ladies, there’s just one Liz Phair song you need to know to make a guy happy. Sorry, I can’t tell ya which one.
August 01, 2006
What Hirp Wants
Mel Gibson, anti-Semite? I don’t know. And at the same time, I’m not even sure if I care. Let’s assume for a second that he is. Does that make him less talented? Do I suddenly no longer enjoy Lethal Weapon or Tequila Sunrise? Other then my opinion of him personally, does it change anything?
Well, yes and no. No, it doesn’t for a second take away the work he’s done. The guy has built a nice resume, hit IMDB and you see a lot of good flicks that we’ve all enjoyed. But, part of that has been built on the image of him being this genuinely good guy. For which we are to blame as much as he is. And if I end up feeling he’s actually anti-Semitic, and really it will be just a feeling be it mine or yours, I sure as hell won’t want to put any more money in his already phat pockets.
One thing I need to make clear. If Mel, or anyone else happens to dislike Jews or any other group of people, I fully support their right to feel that way. And to say it. Now, if you feel it be man (or woman enough) to own that opinion. I honestly think the best way he could handle this is to say, “yeah, I said it and I believe it but I’m open to sitting down and discussing it.” What I don’t want to hear is how his dad raised him that way, his father by the way has gone on record with his belief that the Holocaust was exaggerated. Mel is in his 50’s, worth hundreds of millions of dollars and I know how he was raised by his parents would undoubtly affect his world views, they are still HIS views.
If he actually said , "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," and asked the arresting officer, "Are you a Jew?" He can’t hide behind daddy. Nor are those just the words of a drunk guy making an ass of himself. Most of us have been drunk, and most of us have probably said something we wish we hadn’t while drunk. That’s part of why you get drunk. You don’t say shit you don’t believe, you say the things you’re too scared to say sober. This is why men and women drink then hit on each other, it’s not that they didn’t want to before. It’s liquid balls. My point, if Mel said it he fucking believes it.
I don’t want some well thought out apology, or some PR machine behind him helping him smooth it over. I’d rather he sit down with someone, and honestly tell us what he thinks. Then listen as someone explains where his facts are off. For him to know, and for everyone who thinks like him. Let’s atleast use this as a way to get some facts out there. You know, it’s been a pain in the ass running Hollywood behind the scenes all these years. A good frank conversation would be good for all of us.
Well, yes and no. No, it doesn’t for a second take away the work he’s done. The guy has built a nice resume, hit IMDB and you see a lot of good flicks that we’ve all enjoyed. But, part of that has been built on the image of him being this genuinely good guy. For which we are to blame as much as he is. And if I end up feeling he’s actually anti-Semitic, and really it will be just a feeling be it mine or yours, I sure as hell won’t want to put any more money in his already phat pockets.
One thing I need to make clear. If Mel, or anyone else happens to dislike Jews or any other group of people, I fully support their right to feel that way. And to say it. Now, if you feel it be man (or woman enough) to own that opinion. I honestly think the best way he could handle this is to say, “yeah, I said it and I believe it but I’m open to sitting down and discussing it.” What I don’t want to hear is how his dad raised him that way, his father by the way has gone on record with his belief that the Holocaust was exaggerated. Mel is in his 50’s, worth hundreds of millions of dollars and I know how he was raised by his parents would undoubtly affect his world views, they are still HIS views.
If he actually said , "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," and asked the arresting officer, "Are you a Jew?" He can’t hide behind daddy. Nor are those just the words of a drunk guy making an ass of himself. Most of us have been drunk, and most of us have probably said something we wish we hadn’t while drunk. That’s part of why you get drunk. You don’t say shit you don’t believe, you say the things you’re too scared to say sober. This is why men and women drink then hit on each other, it’s not that they didn’t want to before. It’s liquid balls. My point, if Mel said it he fucking believes it.
I don’t want some well thought out apology, or some PR machine behind him helping him smooth it over. I’d rather he sit down with someone, and honestly tell us what he thinks. Then listen as someone explains where his facts are off. For him to know, and for everyone who thinks like him. Let’s atleast use this as a way to get some facts out there. You know, it’s been a pain in the ass running Hollywood behind the scenes all these years. A good frank conversation would be good for all of us.
Pizza v. Pizza?!
Chicago “pizza” is to pizza what a transvestite is to women. I’ll give you a second to re-read that. No, I mean it. I mean, the ingredients are the same on paper. With the transvestite you have the breastists, you have long hair, nails, estrogen, drama, and the um, well the fact that it’s a vegetarian dish. Just like with Chicago “pizza,” you have cheese (hopefully missing from both the woman and the traney) crust, sauce and is made by a guy whose last name ends in a vowel much like real New York Pizza. But, they are not the same type of food.
Therefore, Chicago “pizza” can’t be as good and sure as hell isn’t better Pizza than New York Pizza because from the get go, it’s not even pizza. See, pizza is almost a fast food dish. A pizzeria might take 10-15 minutes to make you one and that’s not fast food. But, you can stop by a pizzeria, grab a slice with a SODA (not fucking pop) eat it on a piece of wax paper as you stand and watch the pizza man flip the dough in the air and then be gone. Fast. And it’s food. Fast-food. How about Chicago deep dish? No, you have to plan on it taking an entire night. It’s sold in super busy restaurants, that are full of more tourists then citizens.
Let’s also trace the history of both. New York pizza came from Italian immigrants who were just getting into our country, so it’s a direct descendent from Naples. Even it has some differences from the home country but, that’s naturally going to happen when you grow the ingredients in different soil and have different ovens. Check this out, http://www.pizzatherapy.com/historyo.htm.
Chicago “pizza” came along nearly 40 years after the first pizzeria opened in New York. http://www.sliceny.com/archives/
2006/02/a_slice_of_heaven_a_history_of_pizza_in_america.php. And, Chicago has always rightfully felt it was in New Yorks shadow. Second City? Hello, who do you think they think first city is? So, its expected that they’d want to compare their pizza to what is served in NYC. It’s all part of a very natural, very one-sided, rivalry. I enjoy Chicago style, it’s pretty yummy. And I’ve now eaten at most of the well known joints but, not one of them compares to any pizzeria you’d find out east. Be it Long Island, Manhattan or even in Jersey and Connecticut. It’s simply an inferior food. And they only have themselves to blame. Not for trying to change the already perfect meal, no for trying to say they’re the same kind of food. It was big marketing mistake. Change the name, claim it’s the best.
I imagine this is how the English feel about American Football. But, at least we don’t spell it as they spell futball. Both sports have fields, goals, the use of a foot, and crazed face painting fans. Yet no one on either side of the ocean think they are actually the same sport, so there is no confusion with one claiming to have the superior version of the sport. Maybe this makes more sense then transvestites and women? Then again, what doesn’t make more sense then women?
And as now, I can totally see myself living in Chicago more then I can see myself living in New York. I feel this is important for you to know. I’m not anti-Chicago by any means. Great town, and we’re talking about great food here either way you cut it.
Therefore, Chicago “pizza” can’t be as good and sure as hell isn’t better Pizza than New York Pizza because from the get go, it’s not even pizza. See, pizza is almost a fast food dish. A pizzeria might take 10-15 minutes to make you one and that’s not fast food. But, you can stop by a pizzeria, grab a slice with a SODA (not fucking pop) eat it on a piece of wax paper as you stand and watch the pizza man flip the dough in the air and then be gone. Fast. And it’s food. Fast-food. How about Chicago deep dish? No, you have to plan on it taking an entire night. It’s sold in super busy restaurants, that are full of more tourists then citizens.
Let’s also trace the history of both. New York pizza came from Italian immigrants who were just getting into our country, so it’s a direct descendent from Naples. Even it has some differences from the home country but, that’s naturally going to happen when you grow the ingredients in different soil and have different ovens. Check this out, http://www.pizzatherapy.com/historyo.htm.
Chicago “pizza” came along nearly 40 years after the first pizzeria opened in New York. http://www.sliceny.com/archives/
2006/02/a_slice_of_heaven_a_history_of_pizza_in_america.php. And, Chicago has always rightfully felt it was in New Yorks shadow. Second City? Hello, who do you think they think first city is? So, its expected that they’d want to compare their pizza to what is served in NYC. It’s all part of a very natural, very one-sided, rivalry. I enjoy Chicago style, it’s pretty yummy. And I’ve now eaten at most of the well known joints but, not one of them compares to any pizzeria you’d find out east. Be it Long Island, Manhattan or even in Jersey and Connecticut. It’s simply an inferior food. And they only have themselves to blame. Not for trying to change the already perfect meal, no for trying to say they’re the same kind of food. It was big marketing mistake. Change the name, claim it’s the best.
I imagine this is how the English feel about American Football. But, at least we don’t spell it as they spell futball. Both sports have fields, goals, the use of a foot, and crazed face painting fans. Yet no one on either side of the ocean think they are actually the same sport, so there is no confusion with one claiming to have the superior version of the sport. Maybe this makes more sense then transvestites and women? Then again, what doesn’t make more sense then women?
And as now, I can totally see myself living in Chicago more then I can see myself living in New York. I feel this is important for you to know. I’m not anti-Chicago by any means. Great town, and we’re talking about great food here either way you cut it.
July 30, 2006
"Aint no ballpark neither"
Interesting conversation I had this weekend. Went to the movies with a couple of friends, and at some point the debate of whether or not men and women had “leagues” came up. You know what I mean. Leagues, like a beautiful woman with a brain, good job ends up paired up with some dude of equal attractiveness, intelligence yadda yadda yadda. That’s right, leagues.
My friend, well she firmly believes there is no such league system. Knowing whom she married, I can see why. But, seriously folks I’m going to lend my two cents to the debate here. I think, without a question there are indeed leagues. For MOST men and women. As with anything, there are exceptions. It might sound shallow, it might actually be shallow. Then again, so are we all. On some level anyway. The fact that there are people, and typically its women, who will argue against the league system is something I blame Hollywood for. How many movies have we seen where the dork wins over the beautiful girl? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no upset about this. Truth is I’m looking to personally take advantage of this situation.
I believe that its human nature, to be attracted to someone who you have many common interests with. Including apperance. And fact is, looks are the first thing we notice. There was a line in the TV show House, where he said something along the lines of “nines marry nines, sevens marry sevens, and fours marry fours, you can go up or down 2 points but that’s it.” This is 100% true. And I think usually if these rules are broken its because of other factors. A beatuiful woman with a low self-esteem or some other hidden issues, goes for the five because she views herself as a five. Or the guy that’s a three lands the eight because his bank account has nine figures in it.
Want proof that it’s women who make the exceptions? Witness stupid ass shoes like Beauty and The Geek. Know why there isn’t a stud and a dud show? Because NO ONE would watch it. Not men, or women. Men who watch it, well for reasons other then their wives make them, watch it cause they want to be in the geeks penny loafers. Women watch it because they think its sweet or some bullshit. Flip the script? And it lasts shorter then Rob Lowe’s next post-West Wing mistake.
My friend states that if someone who is, well not of equal attraction, is able to showcase their best assets to the better looking half of the equation they can actually win them over. Horse shit. I tend to think I’m kind of witty, good with kids and trusted enough to dog sit for a few friends. None of that would be enough to get, oh Jennifer Aniston. Or Susan Radar. Hmm, gotta find her though and try. The biggest argument I face though in proving my case is, well the fact that every guy I know married out of his league. Thanks assholes.
************************************************
Quick question for you. This also came from a conversation I had one night with the same couple. We’ve all made our lists of celebs but this is a tougher one. If you could marry any television or movie chrarecter, which would it be? It has to be the entire character. Not the actor or actress, meaning what they do for a living, their life style and anything else you know about THAT character. Ready, set..leave your answer in the comments section.
My friend, well she firmly believes there is no such league system. Knowing whom she married, I can see why. But, seriously folks I’m going to lend my two cents to the debate here. I think, without a question there are indeed leagues. For MOST men and women. As with anything, there are exceptions. It might sound shallow, it might actually be shallow. Then again, so are we all. On some level anyway. The fact that there are people, and typically its women, who will argue against the league system is something I blame Hollywood for. How many movies have we seen where the dork wins over the beautiful girl? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no upset about this. Truth is I’m looking to personally take advantage of this situation.
I believe that its human nature, to be attracted to someone who you have many common interests with. Including apperance. And fact is, looks are the first thing we notice. There was a line in the TV show House, where he said something along the lines of “nines marry nines, sevens marry sevens, and fours marry fours, you can go up or down 2 points but that’s it.” This is 100% true. And I think usually if these rules are broken its because of other factors. A beatuiful woman with a low self-esteem or some other hidden issues, goes for the five because she views herself as a five. Or the guy that’s a three lands the eight because his bank account has nine figures in it.
Want proof that it’s women who make the exceptions? Witness stupid ass shoes like Beauty and The Geek. Know why there isn’t a stud and a dud show? Because NO ONE would watch it. Not men, or women. Men who watch it, well for reasons other then their wives make them, watch it cause they want to be in the geeks penny loafers. Women watch it because they think its sweet or some bullshit. Flip the script? And it lasts shorter then Rob Lowe’s next post-West Wing mistake.
My friend states that if someone who is, well not of equal attraction, is able to showcase their best assets to the better looking half of the equation they can actually win them over. Horse shit. I tend to think I’m kind of witty, good with kids and trusted enough to dog sit for a few friends. None of that would be enough to get, oh Jennifer Aniston. Or Susan Radar. Hmm, gotta find her though and try. The biggest argument I face though in proving my case is, well the fact that every guy I know married out of his league. Thanks assholes.
************************************************
Quick question for you. This also came from a conversation I had one night with the same couple. We’ve all made our lists of celebs but this is a tougher one. If you could marry any television or movie chrarecter, which would it be? It has to be the entire character. Not the actor or actress, meaning what they do for a living, their life style and anything else you know about THAT character. Ready, set..leave your answer in the comments section.
July 28, 2006
Alert the media
I made a pretty big decision. I'd like to send out a press release but, I doubt the papers would pick the story up so I won't (I just can't handle that kind of rejection). But in light of recent events, and by recent I mean something on going for the past 15-20 years, I've decided the timing is right.
I am going to begin taking steroids, or human growth hormone, or my vitamins. I'm not sure what yet but, I'm going to start taking something damnit. That's all I'm learning from the media these days. The shit works. This guy on a bike in France, no not the one who had the big C, the new guy. Well he just got busted for "cheating." Well, he was like WAY behind and then one day made a huge improbable comeback (I imagine this is what makes any huge comeback huge, if it weren't improbably who would care?) and it was this great story of some dude we don't anything about over coming some huge obstacle. See, he was already in need of hip replacement surgery.
Anyway, now he has failed some drug test. Something about his testosterone levels were too high. Maybe he's just that fucking manly? I mean he wears tight shorts and spends hours with a small seat shoved up his ass. Tell me isn't that fucking manly?! But yeah, now he's a cheater. Hell with that, he's a visionary. He's god damn Popeye, AFTER he eats his spinach. Only we think it might shorten his life. Riding a bike at high speeds on the edge of a cliff was never a serious threat to his life I assume.
But I disagree. This man is a true American hero. HeÂ’s willing to sacrifice him self for the glory of victory? That's the American Way damnit. Our kids should emulate him. All those soccer parents who spend thousands of dollars on coaches, equipment, traveling and later on therapy need to just get their kids on the juice. Give little Johnny a hug and a syringe. He might be a champion some day.
Oh, a side affect is acne? Rage? Okay, so you relive high school. Big fucking deal. Wait, hold on. It shrinks YOUR equipment? Hmm. Well, thatÂ’s just beautiful irony. Makes a man a big winner, therefore he gets more girls. Only now he just has that many more girls pointing fingers and laughing at him. I think maybe I'll start selling orangwristbandds with "LiveWrong" on it.
I am going to begin taking steroids, or human growth hormone, or my vitamins. I'm not sure what yet but, I'm going to start taking something damnit. That's all I'm learning from the media these days. The shit works. This guy on a bike in France, no not the one who had the big C, the new guy. Well he just got busted for "cheating." Well, he was like WAY behind and then one day made a huge improbable comeback (I imagine this is what makes any huge comeback huge, if it weren't improbably who would care?) and it was this great story of some dude we don't anything about over coming some huge obstacle. See, he was already in need of hip replacement surgery.
Anyway, now he has failed some drug test. Something about his testosterone levels were too high. Maybe he's just that fucking manly? I mean he wears tight shorts and spends hours with a small seat shoved up his ass. Tell me isn't that fucking manly?! But yeah, now he's a cheater. Hell with that, he's a visionary. He's god damn Popeye, AFTER he eats his spinach. Only we think it might shorten his life. Riding a bike at high speeds on the edge of a cliff was never a serious threat to his life I assume.
But I disagree. This man is a true American hero. HeÂ’s willing to sacrifice him self for the glory of victory? That's the American Way damnit. Our kids should emulate him. All those soccer parents who spend thousands of dollars on coaches, equipment, traveling and later on therapy need to just get their kids on the juice. Give little Johnny a hug and a syringe. He might be a champion some day.
Oh, a side affect is acne? Rage? Okay, so you relive high school. Big fucking deal. Wait, hold on. It shrinks YOUR equipment? Hmm. Well, thatÂ’s just beautiful irony. Makes a man a big winner, therefore he gets more girls. Only now he just has that many more girls pointing fingers and laughing at him. I think maybe I'll start selling orangwristbandds with "LiveWrong" on it.
July 27, 2006
Cats and Dogs
I was recently talking to someone who mentioned how they wished people could be like pets, and love us unconditionally. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not at all anti-pet. C'mon, who wouldn't want a fun puppy, a loyal dog or cat? Animals are all kinds of cool. But, do they give their owners unconditional love? Fuck no. First off, we even call them pet "owners."
Now I'm pretty sure any relationship that has one party referring to itself as the "owner" is far from a healthy relationship. So, we've ruled out that it's healthy. Now, for this unconditional crap. Let's see. Try not feeding your dog or cat. Think Benji will still love you? If you do, you're delusional. Now I know what you're thinking, you'd never do that because you love your pet right? Well, then give your pet some choices. Let em go outside, no fence or leash. How's that saying go, "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you its yours" or something like that? Ah but, most people wont do that because they're afraid the animal won't come back. So right there, you actually doubt its love. Or its intelligence.
I know, many "owners" allow their cats to run around outside and the cat comes back. Well, its a manipulative lil fur ball. Is love bringing it back, or the promise of a meal it doesn't have to kill? This is the biggest reason they "love" us. We make their life easy. No longer do they have to hunt for food, or survive the elements. Lounge around all day, get fur every where and never even have to vacuum.
So what do we love about them? Well, for one they never judge us. Or they don't communicate when they do. They don't talk back. The only expectations they have of us is that we fill the water and feed 'em. For that, we might get a wagging tail or some company on the couch while we watch TV. Your dog or cat doesn't give a shit if you get promoted at work, or what kind of car you drive. Doesn't even notice if you're attractive, and even likes it when you smell bad. But we'll forgive them if they take a shit in the living room, cause they don't know better?! Chew up a shoe, and we blame ourselves for leaving it out. Cat rips up the couch and we accept it cause either you think its too cruel to declaw, or you haven't gotten around to it yet. Now if your 9 year old kid does any of this, you'll beat the shit out of the snotnosed bastard. Maybe not but you won't be happy and it'll take longer to forgive Timmy then it would to forgive Spencer.
Now I'm pretty sure any relationship that has one party referring to itself as the "owner" is far from a healthy relationship. So, we've ruled out that it's healthy. Now, for this unconditional crap. Let's see. Try not feeding your dog or cat. Think Benji will still love you? If you do, you're delusional. Now I know what you're thinking, you'd never do that because you love your pet right? Well, then give your pet some choices. Let em go outside, no fence or leash. How's that saying go, "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you its yours" or something like that? Ah but, most people wont do that because they're afraid the animal won't come back. So right there, you actually doubt its love. Or its intelligence.
I know, many "owners" allow their cats to run around outside and the cat comes back. Well, its a manipulative lil fur ball. Is love bringing it back, or the promise of a meal it doesn't have to kill? This is the biggest reason they "love" us. We make their life easy. No longer do they have to hunt for food, or survive the elements. Lounge around all day, get fur every where and never even have to vacuum.
So what do we love about them? Well, for one they never judge us. Or they don't communicate when they do. They don't talk back. The only expectations they have of us is that we fill the water and feed 'em. For that, we might get a wagging tail or some company on the couch while we watch TV. Your dog or cat doesn't give a shit if you get promoted at work, or what kind of car you drive. Doesn't even notice if you're attractive, and even likes it when you smell bad. But we'll forgive them if they take a shit in the living room, cause they don't know better?! Chew up a shoe, and we blame ourselves for leaving it out. Cat rips up the couch and we accept it cause either you think its too cruel to declaw, or you haven't gotten around to it yet. Now if your 9 year old kid does any of this, you'll beat the shit out of the snotnosed bastard. Maybe not but you won't be happy and it'll take longer to forgive Timmy then it would to forgive Spencer.
Gregg Hirpsterman??
So I finished that book already. This really isn't like me. I've never been an avid reader. Although every once in a while, someone will suggest something and actually talk me into reading it. And at that point, if I end up enjoying it, I'll quickly try to read everything the author ever wrote. I'll search the internet looking for obscure stories or columns. I contact their high school English teachers trying to get my paws on something they wrote freshman year. Okay, well that's not even close to true.
What's funny, or sad depending on how you look at it, is reading something I love makes part of me never want to try writing anything ever again. I can already see it having an impact on how I write, and even what I write. I feel like after reading that, nothing I write will be really original or really me. Just me trying to sound like Chuck Klosterman. Since I started reading it, I sound different in my own head. This guy fucked my entire internal monologue. Well, not totally. Truth is he doesn't sound all that different than I do. Or I don't think so anyway. And that's part of what I like about him so much. Sounding like me, makes me think he's a pretty bright guy. Only I'm not even close to as clever or insightful as he is.
In high school I had a pipe dream of being the next Mike Lupica. For those that don't know, he's a sports columnist from New York. Well, he was then. As well as a contributor to ESPN The Sports Reporters, now he's that as well as a novelist. Basically, the guy can write his ass off. He's short, Jewish and all about New York. So you could say we saw eye to eye. But then my buddy Mike got me hooked on The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons. Sports Guy once published some email exchange he had with this author. Some guy named Chuck Klosterman. Sure I thought his emails were funny but I just figured it was impossible to not sound funny when going back and forth with my new writing hero. Till a few years later Mr Porqchop lent me a copy of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. A copy I still haven't returned. What is it about a good book, CD or movie that I feel I should own it? Have it on display in some way in my apartment? Does it make me feel smarter and more sophisticated (you know I'll have to spell check that) or does it make me think I LOOK more smart. (yes that was intentional, funny huh?)
Anyway, what I'm saying is these guys who I end up really enjoying have a strange impact on me and my writing. Hell, I started up a blog BECAUSE of Sports Guy. He didn't write like he was as smart as Dennis Miller and talk over my head, he talked directly to me. And said things I said. Maybe a little funnier. But dude was speaking the language my friends and I speak. And yet at the same time, it makes me NOT want to write. Much as seeing a really good movie, kills the pipe dream I have of one day penning a screen play. If I ever am to sit down and write one, I want it to be original. And after seeing something that I really connect with, my first instinct is to write something like that. Totally related to my whole "the next" post from a few months back.
So I read Sports Guy, or Mr Chuck and I fight with myself over if I should write anything. Recently someone reads this here blog suggested they endorse me for a job as some writer type fella at their company. Which is a huge compliment. I'm pretty sure nothing is going to come from that directly but, maybe this blog will lead to some career opportunity down the road. Who knows? It's 50/50 ya know.
Now real quick, one more thing. Last night I got in bed, and flipped on the TV. TBS was playing Swingers. This blew my mind. And pissed me off. How the hell can TBS be playing one of the greatest indie movies of all-time? This isn't right. I know that by now, pretty much everyone has seen it so it's not really a underground cult favorite. But, TBS? Bravo would be fine. TBS shows Bad Boys every seven hours. Seeing Swingers on TBS is like seeing a really cute, cool chick who was always real shy and the fact that you knew here meant you were in on a great secret, and now she's dating some fucking cheese dick that isn't a bad guy but has no clue what he has. Or it's nothing like that at all. I know it sucks, I know that. And of course I watched it. By the way, how the hell is that movie over 10 years old now?!?! One day I'll post just about that movie.
What's funny, or sad depending on how you look at it, is reading something I love makes part of me never want to try writing anything ever again. I can already see it having an impact on how I write, and even what I write. I feel like after reading that, nothing I write will be really original or really me. Just me trying to sound like Chuck Klosterman. Since I started reading it, I sound different in my own head. This guy fucked my entire internal monologue. Well, not totally. Truth is he doesn't sound all that different than I do. Or I don't think so anyway. And that's part of what I like about him so much. Sounding like me, makes me think he's a pretty bright guy. Only I'm not even close to as clever or insightful as he is.
In high school I had a pipe dream of being the next Mike Lupica. For those that don't know, he's a sports columnist from New York. Well, he was then. As well as a contributor to ESPN The Sports Reporters, now he's that as well as a novelist. Basically, the guy can write his ass off. He's short, Jewish and all about New York. So you could say we saw eye to eye. But then my buddy Mike got me hooked on The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons. Sports Guy once published some email exchange he had with this author. Some guy named Chuck Klosterman. Sure I thought his emails were funny but I just figured it was impossible to not sound funny when going back and forth with my new writing hero. Till a few years later Mr Porqchop lent me a copy of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. A copy I still haven't returned. What is it about a good book, CD or movie that I feel I should own it? Have it on display in some way in my apartment? Does it make me feel smarter and more sophisticated (you know I'll have to spell check that) or does it make me think I LOOK more smart. (yes that was intentional, funny huh?)
Anyway, what I'm saying is these guys who I end up really enjoying have a strange impact on me and my writing. Hell, I started up a blog BECAUSE of Sports Guy. He didn't write like he was as smart as Dennis Miller and talk over my head, he talked directly to me. And said things I said. Maybe a little funnier. But dude was speaking the language my friends and I speak. And yet at the same time, it makes me NOT want to write. Much as seeing a really good movie, kills the pipe dream I have of one day penning a screen play. If I ever am to sit down and write one, I want it to be original. And after seeing something that I really connect with, my first instinct is to write something like that. Totally related to my whole "the next" post from a few months back.
So I read Sports Guy, or Mr Chuck and I fight with myself over if I should write anything. Recently someone reads this here blog suggested they endorse me for a job as some writer type fella at their company. Which is a huge compliment. I'm pretty sure nothing is going to come from that directly but, maybe this blog will lead to some career opportunity down the road. Who knows? It's 50/50 ya know.
Now real quick, one more thing. Last night I got in bed, and flipped on the TV. TBS was playing Swingers. This blew my mind. And pissed me off. How the hell can TBS be playing one of the greatest indie movies of all-time? This isn't right. I know that by now, pretty much everyone has seen it so it's not really a underground cult favorite. But, TBS? Bravo would be fine. TBS shows Bad Boys every seven hours. Seeing Swingers on TBS is like seeing a really cute, cool chick who was always real shy and the fact that you knew here meant you were in on a great secret, and now she's dating some fucking cheese dick that isn't a bad guy but has no clue what he has. Or it's nothing like that at all. I know it sucks, I know that. And of course I watched it. By the way, how the hell is that movie over 10 years old now?!?! One day I'll post just about that movie.
July 26, 2006
HIghRP Times
It's a good thing I've never been high. This has nothing to do with it being illegal or unhealthy. No, it's much more individualized. See, I tend to oh, over analyze shit. Perhaps you could even say obsess. Just a tad. Anyway, as I've said before I believe in odds. And well Mr Chuck Klosterman has totally put that idea on its head and spun it around.
He has his own theory, which I'm getting to, that he first talked about in Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. Didn't really shake anything up for me at the time. But it did make me think. And as I'm reading Killing Yourself To Live, he has once again mentioned this theory. And well, I'm totally in awe.
Here it is. 50/50. For everything. Something will, or it simply won't happen. Take baseball, guy comes to bat and he's a career .300 hitter. Does that mean there's a 30% chance of him getting a hit? According to Chuck, no. He will, or he won't. It's 50/50. A friend of mine believes the world will end, if not in our lifetime in our children's lifespan. Now I can think that's a bunch of bull. But, wait. Chucks right. It will, or it won't happen.
See as I had been mulling over a move to Chicago, I had even given myself some percentage on the chances of it actually happening. Some how I came up with it being a 40% chance that I'd move to Chicago within a years time. But Chucks right, I will or I won't. I dated a dame or a while, and in my head again (based on gut not any real math) I had it down as 60% I married her. Again, I think that Chucks 50/50 theory comes into play.
I'm not entirely buying into this. Not yet. I mean, going to college does increase the chances of landing most jobs. But it sure is giving me some food for thought. Which brings me back to why it's a good thing I never smoked the pot. From what I hear, you tend to over think shit. And I do that just fine clean and sober. Now crap, I gotta go find some lunch. Sure am hungry.
He has his own theory, which I'm getting to, that he first talked about in Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. Didn't really shake anything up for me at the time. But it did make me think. And as I'm reading Killing Yourself To Live, he has once again mentioned this theory. And well, I'm totally in awe.
Here it is. 50/50. For everything. Something will, or it simply won't happen. Take baseball, guy comes to bat and he's a career .300 hitter. Does that mean there's a 30% chance of him getting a hit? According to Chuck, no. He will, or he won't. It's 50/50. A friend of mine believes the world will end, if not in our lifetime in our children's lifespan. Now I can think that's a bunch of bull. But, wait. Chucks right. It will, or it won't happen.
See as I had been mulling over a move to Chicago, I had even given myself some percentage on the chances of it actually happening. Some how I came up with it being a 40% chance that I'd move to Chicago within a years time. But Chucks right, I will or I won't. I dated a dame or a while, and in my head again (based on gut not any real math) I had it down as 60% I married her. Again, I think that Chucks 50/50 theory comes into play.
I'm not entirely buying into this. Not yet. I mean, going to college does increase the chances of landing most jobs. But it sure is giving me some food for thought. Which brings me back to why it's a good thing I never smoked the pot. From what I hear, you tend to over think shit. And I do that just fine clean and sober. Now crap, I gotta go find some lunch. Sure am hungry.
July 25, 2006
Shots from the Hirp
So yesterday was interesting, seems ol’ Hirp here forgot to take his meds. No, there’s no punch line here. I got ready, and took off for work yesterday morning without taking my Ritalin. Leading to one unproductive day, and that’s just putting it nicely. More accurately would be to say I was completely worthless. Like a set of hammers on a nun. See, most people will say they have ADD and if you give most people Ritalin you’ll see a scene much like the one in There’s Something About Mary, where Magda was cleaning the apartment and lifting up the couch. But, take away Ritalin from someone who actually needs it, and you quickly understand why their GPA at KU wouldn’t even be legally drunk if it were a blood alcohol level.
See, I have a bit of a routine at work. Do some work, hit some down time and hit some web sites to read this and that. I couldn’t even do that. Really, I couldn’t even slack off properly. At my last job, my co-workers could tell within 5 minutes if I had forgotten to take my meds. Now that I’m actually living Office Space, no one notices. I probably should have posted something yesterday, the blogging of ADD. Only I couldn’t think of anything to even start off with.
Anyway, I did get an interesting bit of info yesterday. Remember my cousin I talked about? The one I was trying to help promote his next CD release? Well, seems I’m not actually related to the Jewish Kennedy’s. No, it’s much much better. He’s the fucking Hasselhoff of New Zealand. Yes, I said it. Re-read that sentence again, I’ll give you a second. . . . Got it? Here it is, I have one cousin who is a big ad guy. You’ve seen his work, and you loved it. My other cousin is a teacher and an author. Both of them are a musician as well, who have released some CDs, Eric, the ad guy is a solo artist and Glen is in a group called Momzer. Some how both of them have moved units and received some radio time in New Zealand. How fucking random is that? I’m some what considering releasing my rap debut just in New Zealand. I could be the Jewish Slim Shady to the Kiwi’s based on my last name alone.
Also, I picked up a new book this past weekend. Killing Yourself to Live, by my new favorite author Chuck Klosterman. I’m telling you, even though most of my friends don’t read him (yet), this guy is the voice of my generation. Never mind Cobain, Pac, Jack Johnson, Dave Matthews, Carson Daly or Eminem. This guy speaks for everyone I know, and most of them don’t even know it. He has our interests, our sense of humor, our issues, our quirks, our bitterness and he speaks nothing but truth. He both makes me feel like I NEED to have a blog and that I have no reason even letting my fingers hit the keyboard all at t he same time, for I am just not worthy. I’m like 18 pages into this thing and I already know it’s going to crack my top 5 of favorite books. Never mind that I’ve read 12 books in my life. He’s on a journey to visit everyplace a rock star died. From Sid Vicious in Chelsea and Cobain’s last spot in Seattle and every dark spot in between. And luckily he’s taking me along for t he ride
See, I have a bit of a routine at work. Do some work, hit some down time and hit some web sites to read this and that. I couldn’t even do that. Really, I couldn’t even slack off properly. At my last job, my co-workers could tell within 5 minutes if I had forgotten to take my meds. Now that I’m actually living Office Space, no one notices. I probably should have posted something yesterday, the blogging of ADD. Only I couldn’t think of anything to even start off with.
Anyway, I did get an interesting bit of info yesterday. Remember my cousin I talked about? The one I was trying to help promote his next CD release? Well, seems I’m not actually related to the Jewish Kennedy’s. No, it’s much much better. He’s the fucking Hasselhoff of New Zealand. Yes, I said it. Re-read that sentence again, I’ll give you a second. . . . Got it? Here it is, I have one cousin who is a big ad guy. You’ve seen his work, and you loved it. My other cousin is a teacher and an author. Both of them are a musician as well, who have released some CDs, Eric, the ad guy is a solo artist and Glen is in a group called Momzer. Some how both of them have moved units and received some radio time in New Zealand. How fucking random is that? I’m some what considering releasing my rap debut just in New Zealand. I could be the Jewish Slim Shady to the Kiwi’s based on my last name alone.
Also, I picked up a new book this past weekend. Killing Yourself to Live, by my new favorite author Chuck Klosterman. I’m telling you, even though most of my friends don’t read him (yet), this guy is the voice of my generation. Never mind Cobain, Pac, Jack Johnson, Dave Matthews, Carson Daly or Eminem. This guy speaks for everyone I know, and most of them don’t even know it. He has our interests, our sense of humor, our issues, our quirks, our bitterness and he speaks nothing but truth. He both makes me feel like I NEED to have a blog and that I have no reason even letting my fingers hit the keyboard all at t he same time, for I am just not worthy. I’m like 18 pages into this thing and I already know it’s going to crack my top 5 of favorite books. Never mind that I’ve read 12 books in my life. He’s on a journey to visit everyplace a rock star died. From Sid Vicious in Chelsea and Cobain’s last spot in Seattle and every dark spot in between. And luckily he’s taking me along for t he ride
July 20, 2006
Shopping for chicks...
So yesterday I went shopping for a birthday present for my daughter. Well, she’s not really my daughter. It’s a friend of mine’s kid and I just claim ‘em as mine. Anyway, I’ve noticed this before when shopping for presents for my nieces but, it is impossible to buy for a girl. It starts right away, and never stops. But, it’s not like when they’re adults and you can almost never get the right gift or a big enough gift, no for little girls its just twisted. You can’t find a good gift cause all the little dolls like Barbie are all whored out. Seriously, they have these friggin children’s toys wearing skirt so short that if I saw someone my age wearing it, even I wouldn’t date her.
Mid-riff baring, pouty lips, school girl uniforms it’s fucked. Yes, I’m gonna catch shit for noticing. Someone’s gonna say I shouldn’t be in the toy section anymore. Let them. But then try and buy a gift for a 3 year old girl without seeing it. Boys get soldiers, cars, action figures from movies, hand held games and all sorts of cool shit. Girls get things that will help then discover bulimia. Or encourage them to start a family. Yeah, because what you really want is a 4 year old who can’t wait to be a mommy. Being that kids are so patient and all. Big shocker when 12 years later they’re popping out baby #1. It's not that I'm old fashioned. But the rules are different for people I know and care about. I don't want my nieces, or friends daughters dating till they are 35 or I'm dead. Whichever happens last. This isn't even a joke. This is however probably a solid reason I shouldn't have kids.
Option three is always some sort of kitchen. This just continues on the idea that women should be housewives. Wait, yeah I’m okay with that.
Mid-riff baring, pouty lips, school girl uniforms it’s fucked. Yes, I’m gonna catch shit for noticing. Someone’s gonna say I shouldn’t be in the toy section anymore. Let them. But then try and buy a gift for a 3 year old girl without seeing it. Boys get soldiers, cars, action figures from movies, hand held games and all sorts of cool shit. Girls get things that will help then discover bulimia. Or encourage them to start a family. Yeah, because what you really want is a 4 year old who can’t wait to be a mommy. Being that kids are so patient and all. Big shocker when 12 years later they’re popping out baby #1. It's not that I'm old fashioned. But the rules are different for people I know and care about. I don't want my nieces, or friends daughters dating till they are 35 or I'm dead. Whichever happens last. This isn't even a joke. This is however probably a solid reason I shouldn't have kids.
Option three is always some sort of kitchen. This just continues on the idea that women should be housewives. Wait, yeah I’m okay with that.
The Church of Hirp
So, I think I’ve decided to open up the Church of the Hirp. Not that I think I’m God or really for any reason other then boredom. Being that I don’t know, well a friggin thing about starting a Church, this may not be all that well thought out. I figure I need my own Ten Commandments and my own seven deadly sins. Really, I don’t see need for much else. So, without further ado.
Hirps Ten Commandments: (in no specific order)
1 Thou Shall turn ringer off in movie theatre
2 Thou Shall not say “fiancé.” Ever.
3 Thou Shall not kill they neighbor without justification
4 Thou Shall reciprocate
5 Thou Shall swear often
6 Thou Shall nap, not just on the Sabbath either yo
7 Thou Shall not gank from friends
8 Thou Shall never stab a friend in the back
9 Thou mother and father shall be responsible for their rugrats, then kids shall respect ‘rents
10 Thou Shall not rat
Hirp Seven Deadly Sins
1 Catching runner runner
2 Cheering for the Yankees or MU
3 Jumping on bandwagons
4 Wearing Zubaz or Moo moos
5 Mullets
6 Wrath, minus the anger and hatred
7 Pride
Signs of the Hirpacoplypse
A fiancé from MU who loves the Chiefs who loves high fives and is never ready to pay.
Hirpvatican
Shea Stadium
Hirpmecca
Vegas
Anti-Hirp
George W Bush
Messiahirp
Sports Guy
Hirps Ten Commandments: (in no specific order)
1 Thou Shall turn ringer off in movie theatre
2 Thou Shall not say “fiancé.” Ever.
3 Thou Shall not kill they neighbor without justification
4 Thou Shall reciprocate
5 Thou Shall swear often
6 Thou Shall nap, not just on the Sabbath either yo
7 Thou Shall not gank from friends
8 Thou Shall never stab a friend in the back
9 Thou mother and father shall be responsible for their rugrats, then kids shall respect ‘rents
10 Thou Shall not rat
Hirp Seven Deadly Sins
1 Catching runner runner
2 Cheering for the Yankees or MU
3 Jumping on bandwagons
4 Wearing Zubaz or Moo moos
5 Mullets
6 Wrath, minus the anger and hatred
7 Pride
Signs of the Hirpacoplypse
A fiancé from MU who loves the Chiefs who loves high fives and is never ready to pay.
Hirpvatican
Shea Stadium
Hirpmecca
Vegas
Anti-Hirp
George W Bush
Messiahirp
Sports Guy
July 18, 2006
FORE!
Imagine if you will, and you will because Hirp just asked you to, that you’re a golfer. And you find out one day that a guy you played golf with on multiple occasions just played in a PGA event. But wait it gets better, he also made the cut. Now you don’t necessarily remember if you out played him but, you’re pretty sure you won at least a few holes. That’d be some cool shit right? Well, I am Tiger Woods. Okay, no I’m really not. But I just found out that a guy that used to played poker with the group I play with on a regular basis just played AND placed in a World Series of Poker event winning nearly $6,000.
It has been probably two years since we played together and I don’t really remember anything about those games in any great detail, other then he was a really nice guy. I never got the feeling that I couldn’t play with him. So, that’s a bit of confidence builder I think, and also gives the Bad Beats Crew some serious street cred. Like,there’s other poker groups out there that now fear us. Fo’ shizzle dizzle. We ridin’ dirty. Seriously, if we were a rap clique, we just had a guy get shot. Now, you should probably know that the event was a $2,000 No-Limit tourney and he placed 63rd. And I also know I’m a long ways away from being able to do something like that but, one day I would like to. For starters I couldn’t afford the buy in, or right now the ticket and hotel. And I remember him as a bright guy, so I don’t think the threat of losing $2,000 as something that would break his bank. The lesson there: always play within your bankroll. The single most important rule a poker player, or anyone, can learn. And one more poker lesson that translates so well into every other situation in life.
It has been probably two years since we played together and I don’t really remember anything about those games in any great detail, other then he was a really nice guy. I never got the feeling that I couldn’t play with him. So, that’s a bit of confidence builder I think, and also gives the Bad Beats Crew some serious street cred. Like,there’s other poker groups out there that now fear us. Fo’ shizzle dizzle. We ridin’ dirty. Seriously, if we were a rap clique, we just had a guy get shot. Now, you should probably know that the event was a $2,000 No-Limit tourney and he placed 63rd. And I also know I’m a long ways away from being able to do something like that but, one day I would like to. For starters I couldn’t afford the buy in, or right now the ticket and hotel. And I remember him as a bright guy, so I don’t think the threat of losing $2,000 as something that would break his bank. The lesson there: always play within your bankroll. The single most important rule a poker player, or anyone, can learn. And one more poker lesson that translates so well into every other situation in life.
July 17, 2006
And just like that, I’m back. Took a long weekend and went to Chicago, saw some friends, a Met-Cub game, and drank some beers. I didn't however end up throwing up all over the city or sleeping in a bathtub. Thus making for a successful trip. Funny how things look when you grade on a scale. Seriously, I love that town. It has great energy, awesome architecture and it really does have a manageable feel to it. Where as New York, which I still feel is the superior city and the best in the world, can be a tad bit of an overload. Chicago is big, it’s exciting and I think the greatest thing is each neighborhood has well, such a neighborhood feel. Friday night we were in Lakeview (pretty sure, V will correct me) and we hit this great neighborhood bar. Not even a quarter full on a Friday night and everyone was just really relaxed. Most bars here, you’d see the bartender and waitresses stressing over the lack of business. Or they’d be looking across the street at some other bar to see if they were busy. So in the whole where would Hirp move to conundrum, Chicago is at the top of the list. One draw back. If I moved there, I’d get rid of my car (this is good) but then I wouldn’t have a way to get to the casino in Gary to play poker (this is bad). Serious, that’s an actual thought I had. 888-bets-off right?
*********
But now I’m back in KC. And it’s hot. It was hot as all hell in Chicago, like 98 at the ballgame on Saturday. But this morning I hopped online to check my mail and the weather forecast has 101 for tomorrow and 102 for Wednesday. That is just f’in ridiculous. Also, it was 5:30am and it was already 81 degrees. What is this, Arizona? No, know how I know? This isn’t a “dry heat.” No, this is humid and cruel heat. And I want to file a complaint with someone. Seriously, there’s no reason for it to be this hot.
*********
Most upsetting on going “sports” story is without a doubt the ‘round the clock updates about Barbaro. Today he’s “comfortable.” You can not be serious. It’s a fucking horse. I get he did some impressive things and it’s sad that he broke his foot and might be turned to glue soon. But it’s a horse for crying out loud. ESPN shows press conferences with doctors telling us a horse is comfortable. This is nuts. I’m sure he’s real comfortable being made to sprint while some midget on his back slaps and kicks him to make him go faster. Bet that’s real comfortable. There is actually a story on espn.com and a quote that reads “Barbaro in good frame of mind.”
*********
But now I’m back in KC. And it’s hot. It was hot as all hell in Chicago, like 98 at the ballgame on Saturday. But this morning I hopped online to check my mail and the weather forecast has 101 for tomorrow and 102 for Wednesday. That is just f’in ridiculous. Also, it was 5:30am and it was already 81 degrees. What is this, Arizona? No, know how I know? This isn’t a “dry heat.” No, this is humid and cruel heat. And I want to file a complaint with someone. Seriously, there’s no reason for it to be this hot.
*********
Most upsetting on going “sports” story is without a doubt the ‘round the clock updates about Barbaro. Today he’s “comfortable.” You can not be serious. It’s a fucking horse. I get he did some impressive things and it’s sad that he broke his foot and might be turned to glue soon. But it’s a horse for crying out loud. ESPN shows press conferences with doctors telling us a horse is comfortable. This is nuts. I’m sure he’s real comfortable being made to sprint while some midget on his back slaps and kicks him to make him go faster. Bet that’s real comfortable. There is actually a story on espn.com and a quote that reads “Barbaro in good frame of mind.”
July 13, 2006
Hirptheory
Did you see the movie The Perfect Storm? Yeah, it was the hugely disappointing George Clooney Marky Mark movie. Well, I have a theory related to that movie. Not about why it was such a let down. No, something a little more relevant. See, I happen to believe that anyone, and everyone is capable of pretty much anything. Under the right, or in many cases, wrong circumstances. You, me, your neighbor, your husband, that one guys wife and everyone in between.
Everyone has a breaking point. I think we can all agree on that. And see my theory is that if all the right things, go horribly wrong just about anything can happen. Meaning, wife is yelling at you on just the wrong day. Maybe work stuff, maybe a whole string of other things are going on at that exact time and you hit your breaking point. You'd never do it in your right mind, and you've never been a violent person before. But you raise your hand to your wife. Horrific? Yes. But I think anyone is capable of it. It doesn't excuse it, not for a second. And I also think, again depending on the circumstances, it is something that people can work out. Counseling, maybe a night in jail but, it can be worked out and one day forgiven. If all parties involved want that and are willing to work for it.
It's not just losing it and hitting your spouse that I think everyone under the sun is capable of. I mean, murder, infidelity, road rage, a drunk driving charge, striking a child or even rooting for a team that is usually your most hated rival.
Now this isn't the end of my theory, which comes from watching too much CourTV, A&E, NYPD Blue, Third Watch and who knows which movies. See, the other part of this is when it gets scary. If any of these things happen a second time, I can almost promise you a third and most likely a fourth time.
Have you seen a serial killer interviewed? They all say how hard the first one was and that after the second one it gets easier. And any guy that hits his wife twice, will one day do it again. I don't have a time table for this. I'm not saying within a year, or three. And it doesn't even have to be the same wife. How many parents have lost their cool and slapped their child? Some do it, and it seriously hurts them more then the kid and they make sure to never do it again. Some do it and what they realize is they can do it and they end up using it as a "parenting" method. Which is right up there with, "I drive better drunk" in the arena of complete bullshit.
And as with all things, I believe it's a matter of the odds. Studies show someone growing up in a violent household is more likely to continue this cycle. That doesn't assure it of happening, it just increases the odds. Someone can grow up in a house full of hippies, they still have a breaking point and are fully capable of something so regrettable.
Now, there's a flip side to this coin. If everything is lined up, and another "perfect storm" comes along, I think everyone is capable of greatness. Of being a hero. And again, anyone can do something great and selfless once. And when it happens a second time, I'll promise you a third. What makes this all even more confusing, is you can do both. Because really, we all have greatness in us just as we all have a dark side. So there you have it, discuss.
Everyone has a breaking point. I think we can all agree on that. And see my theory is that if all the right things, go horribly wrong just about anything can happen. Meaning, wife is yelling at you on just the wrong day. Maybe work stuff, maybe a whole string of other things are going on at that exact time and you hit your breaking point. You'd never do it in your right mind, and you've never been a violent person before. But you raise your hand to your wife. Horrific? Yes. But I think anyone is capable of it. It doesn't excuse it, not for a second. And I also think, again depending on the circumstances, it is something that people can work out. Counseling, maybe a night in jail but, it can be worked out and one day forgiven. If all parties involved want that and are willing to work for it.
It's not just losing it and hitting your spouse that I think everyone under the sun is capable of. I mean, murder, infidelity, road rage, a drunk driving charge, striking a child or even rooting for a team that is usually your most hated rival.
Now this isn't the end of my theory, which comes from watching too much CourTV, A&E, NYPD Blue, Third Watch and who knows which movies. See, the other part of this is when it gets scary. If any of these things happen a second time, I can almost promise you a third and most likely a fourth time.
Have you seen a serial killer interviewed? They all say how hard the first one was and that after the second one it gets easier. And any guy that hits his wife twice, will one day do it again. I don't have a time table for this. I'm not saying within a year, or three. And it doesn't even have to be the same wife. How many parents have lost their cool and slapped their child? Some do it, and it seriously hurts them more then the kid and they make sure to never do it again. Some do it and what they realize is they can do it and they end up using it as a "parenting" method. Which is right up there with, "I drive better drunk" in the arena of complete bullshit.
And as with all things, I believe it's a matter of the odds. Studies show someone growing up in a violent household is more likely to continue this cycle. That doesn't assure it of happening, it just increases the odds. Someone can grow up in a house full of hippies, they still have a breaking point and are fully capable of something so regrettable.
Now, there's a flip side to this coin. If everything is lined up, and another "perfect storm" comes along, I think everyone is capable of greatness. Of being a hero. And again, anyone can do something great and selfless once. And when it happens a second time, I'll promise you a third. What makes this all even more confusing, is you can do both. Because really, we all have greatness in us just as we all have a dark side. So there you have it, discuss.
July 12, 2006
HIRPolitics
Well now it's gonna get political up in here, up in here. I was doing some channel surfing last night, which for the record should be in the next Olympics, and I ran into good ol' Donny Deutsch. His guest was Mrs Anglo Coulter. Oops, I meant Ann, honest mistake I swear. Anyway, I don't know if you've heard what this deranged chick is saying (and in this case, that's actually not redundant.) Basically she has personally attacked four women who were widowed on 9/11.
These four women, whom she claims call themselves the Jersey Girls, have been some what vocal and public with their anti-Bush feelings. Pretty American right? The right to free speech, kind of a big fan of that one. Anyway, Ms. Cunter damn typo I meant COUTLER, feels that if these women are going to exercise that right she and other republicans have the right to respond. That point, I do agree with. But, to personally attack them? To call them the "witches from East Brunswick?" C'mon. Have SOME class. I get you're republican but try to act with SOME class. I'm not saying they get a complete pass. They choose to voice their opinions on the President and the war, and in interest of the country, the other side should voice theirs. But without personal attacks and without grand standing.
No, they get a pass from that. Just as the families of soldiers who were killed in combat should get a pass from some asshole like Fred Phelps. These are the families of people who lost their lives, the law doesn't require you to give them a pass. Decency requires it. You can disagree with them, just do so respectfully.
Are these women she speaks of maybe enjoying the lime light to a point it makes us a little uncomfortable? I don't know, maybe. About as much as James Brady after he got shot by Hinckley and President Clinton later passed the Brady Bill.
This isn't the only personal attacks made by Coulter. She called Monica Lewinsky a "fat Jewish girl." What the hell? Look, compared to aneorexic Coulter, you might call Monica fat. And yes, she's Jewish. What do either one of these have to do with shit? Sure a lot of us just wish Bill had better taste, in fact I heard Monica said the same thing(rimshot). She also referred to former Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis as "The Greek midget." Again, yes he's short. And yes he's Greek. So what?? I guess I respect her for not hiding behind a white hood but, I don't think the Klan lets women join the ranks.
Seriously, watching this ho bag talk gives me a similar reaction as when I see Phelps or Falwell speak. I just wanna hit em. Only this one I wanna punch right in the ovary. And I think it's funny she tries to use her looks to manipulate. Really, she's not attractive. Is she skinny and blond? Yes,and she even wears really short skirts and heels. Which you'd think all adds up to be some hottie right? Well, she's whiter then my ass. Really, this chick is pale. Like a white sheet. Her face? She actually looks like John Kerry. Not his daughter, no she looks LIKE John Kerry. Only without courage, and intelligence.
These four women, whom she claims call themselves the Jersey Girls, have been some what vocal and public with their anti-Bush feelings. Pretty American right? The right to free speech, kind of a big fan of that one. Anyway, Ms. Cunter damn typo I meant COUTLER, feels that if these women are going to exercise that right she and other republicans have the right to respond. That point, I do agree with. But, to personally attack them? To call them the "witches from East Brunswick?" C'mon. Have SOME class. I get you're republican but try to act with SOME class. I'm not saying they get a complete pass. They choose to voice their opinions on the President and the war, and in interest of the country, the other side should voice theirs. But without personal attacks and without grand standing.
No, they get a pass from that. Just as the families of soldiers who were killed in combat should get a pass from some asshole like Fred Phelps. These are the families of people who lost their lives, the law doesn't require you to give them a pass. Decency requires it. You can disagree with them, just do so respectfully.
Are these women she speaks of maybe enjoying the lime light to a point it makes us a little uncomfortable? I don't know, maybe. About as much as James Brady after he got shot by Hinckley and President Clinton later passed the Brady Bill.
This isn't the only personal attacks made by Coulter. She called Monica Lewinsky a "fat Jewish girl." What the hell? Look, compared to aneorexic Coulter, you might call Monica fat. And yes, she's Jewish. What do either one of these have to do with shit? Sure a lot of us just wish Bill had better taste, in fact I heard Monica said the same thing(rimshot). She also referred to former Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis as "The Greek midget." Again, yes he's short. And yes he's Greek. So what?? I guess I respect her for not hiding behind a white hood but, I don't think the Klan lets women join the ranks.
Seriously, watching this ho bag talk gives me a similar reaction as when I see Phelps or Falwell speak. I just wanna hit em. Only this one I wanna punch right in the ovary. And I think it's funny she tries to use her looks to manipulate. Really, she's not attractive. Is she skinny and blond? Yes,and she even wears really short skirts and heels. Which you'd think all adds up to be some hottie right? Well, she's whiter then my ass. Really, this chick is pale. Like a white sheet. Her face? She actually looks like John Kerry. Not his daughter, no she looks LIKE John Kerry. Only without courage, and intelligence.
July 10, 2006
Entourage Talk
So Entourage got back on track last night. Although it seems to be headed for some bumpy times, nice to not see that moron Dom. I do see some rough times coming. Not with the writing or anything, but for the guys. Seems like Johnny Drama is getting his panties all in a twist and getting jealous of Turtles new found success.
Which really is understandable. I mean, he has to know he's an idiot. There's no secret that he's riding Vinnies coattails. But before he had a partner in crime. E and Vinnie were making things happen, while he and Turtle coasted along. Sure he wanted to be a star on his own but, his consolation prize was that he wasn't the lone loser. Now that's not the case.
Turtles a straight up hustler. Not a bad way like he's a con man, no I mean he makes shit happen. He's done it for Vince and the whole clique for over two seasons. Who brought out the pizza from NY? Who knew a way to get the cash together so he could afford the pj's for the Playboy party? No doubt in my mind he blows Saigon up (note; Saigon was actually shot a few months ago in NYC, wonder if that'll get into the script)
Meanwhile, Johnny is left to hijack Turtles meeting with Ari. And is suddenly offended at the offer of a free meal. So I see Drama going down a path of self-destruction. And I also see the gang having some serious conflict. If Turtle has his own thing going, who drives? Who goes and gets shit?
Gonna be mighty interesting and entertaining to see what happens next.
On a related note. I'd LOVE to see a real movie about Escobar. Recently I watched something about him on the History channel, and this is a flick that needs to get made. I'm not sure who could play him. We saw a glimpse of him in Johnny Depp's Blow. But this is a guy who needs his own feature film. Just a ruthless, mean, sick twisted fucker. How could that not be a good movie?
Which really is understandable. I mean, he has to know he's an idiot. There's no secret that he's riding Vinnies coattails. But before he had a partner in crime. E and Vinnie were making things happen, while he and Turtle coasted along. Sure he wanted to be a star on his own but, his consolation prize was that he wasn't the lone loser. Now that's not the case.
Turtles a straight up hustler. Not a bad way like he's a con man, no I mean he makes shit happen. He's done it for Vince and the whole clique for over two seasons. Who brought out the pizza from NY? Who knew a way to get the cash together so he could afford the pj's for the Playboy party? No doubt in my mind he blows Saigon up (note; Saigon was actually shot a few months ago in NYC, wonder if that'll get into the script)
Meanwhile, Johnny is left to hijack Turtles meeting with Ari. And is suddenly offended at the offer of a free meal. So I see Drama going down a path of self-destruction. And I also see the gang having some serious conflict. If Turtle has his own thing going, who drives? Who goes and gets shit?
Gonna be mighty interesting and entertaining to see what happens next.
On a related note. I'd LOVE to see a real movie about Escobar. Recently I watched something about him on the History channel, and this is a flick that needs to get made. I'm not sure who could play him. We saw a glimpse of him in Johnny Depp's Blow. But this is a guy who needs his own feature film. Just a ruthless, mean, sick twisted fucker. How could that not be a good movie?
Old enough to know better, young enough???
So we've all heard of a mid-life crisis right? No, I'm not there. Not yet. Although I am looking forward to dating a 20 year old. Occasional I think I might be headed for a quarter-life crisis but, chances are I'm not about to do anything totally out of character. Cause, well that just wouldn't be me.
But I tell ya, this aging thing, the shit happens over night. How's that for two horrible puns? Anyway. I'm being serious. I don't know when it happened exactly. I've always had a good memory (it's not failing me..yet) but, now I actually have conversations and am able to say "well 20 years ago," and I vividly remember whatever it is I'm referencing. Even 25 years back. This sucks dude. Recently I saw some high school shit, I mean kid, wearing a class of 09 tee shirt. So, you mean to tell me when I was a senior this kid was 4 years old? Get the F out! Oh god, I just threw up in my mouth. I just realized my niece is class of 2010. Wait another goddamn second. 2010? Did I just say something about the year 2010 and this isn't sci-fi? See, that's the crap that makes me feel old. 2010 isn't supposed to be a real year. I shouldn't see that on a calendar, only in the beginning of some futuristic movie.
And yet, I really haven't matured at all since I turned 18. My hairline has. My bills have matured (some literally.) Tell ya something else that made me feel old. This happened a few years back. Friends starting getting married. WHAT?! Wait, it gets worse. Some starting having kids. KIDS?! People my age having kids and there parents are thrilled and not threatening to castrate someone over it. This is just bizarre. What's next, I should get a 401k? Crap, I have one.
Here's a sad sign that goes along with this. I was talking to a friend a few weeks back, and we were talking about it's pretty hard to meet girls these days. And both of us said how we're at the age now where there will be a sudden jump in the newly single, freshly divorced women. Seriously. It went from wow, I can't believe I'm old enough that the majority of my friends are married. Feels like just yesterday (and no it wasn't, another stupid restraining order) I was at KU freshmen orientation and they said to look to your right, and then your left and that one of those people wouldn't be back for their sophomore year. Wait, crap! I was that kid.
But I tell ya, this aging thing, the shit happens over night. How's that for two horrible puns? Anyway. I'm being serious. I don't know when it happened exactly. I've always had a good memory (it's not failing me..yet) but, now I actually have conversations and am able to say "well 20 years ago," and I vividly remember whatever it is I'm referencing. Even 25 years back. This sucks dude. Recently I saw some high school shit, I mean kid, wearing a class of 09 tee shirt. So, you mean to tell me when I was a senior this kid was 4 years old? Get the F out! Oh god, I just threw up in my mouth. I just realized my niece is class of 2010. Wait another goddamn second. 2010? Did I just say something about the year 2010 and this isn't sci-fi? See, that's the crap that makes me feel old. 2010 isn't supposed to be a real year. I shouldn't see that on a calendar, only in the beginning of some futuristic movie.
And yet, I really haven't matured at all since I turned 18. My hairline has. My bills have matured (some literally.) Tell ya something else that made me feel old. This happened a few years back. Friends starting getting married. WHAT?! Wait, it gets worse. Some starting having kids. KIDS?! People my age having kids and there parents are thrilled and not threatening to castrate someone over it. This is just bizarre. What's next, I should get a 401k? Crap, I have one.
Here's a sad sign that goes along with this. I was talking to a friend a few weeks back, and we were talking about it's pretty hard to meet girls these days. And both of us said how we're at the age now where there will be a sudden jump in the newly single, freshly divorced women. Seriously. It went from wow, I can't believe I'm old enough that the majority of my friends are married. Feels like just yesterday (and no it wasn't, another stupid restraining order) I was at KU freshmen orientation and they said to look to your right, and then your left and that one of those people wouldn't be back for their sophomore year. Wait, crap! I was that kid.
July 07, 2006
Another top 10
So I haven't posted much lately. Has Hirp just been really busy leading an exciting life? Um, not so much. Works been, well work. Last couple days there's been network issues so I've literally spent hours just playing on the internet. And in that time I haven't found anything worth mentioning.
Anyway, when I got home yesterday LA Confidential was on. Great flick. Then I remembered talking with some movie fans in the late 90s about the best movies of the 90s and how this was near the top of the list. And since we're now on the second half of the current decade I decided it was time for a top 10 list.
10 Snatch.
9 High Fidelity
8 Gladiator
7 Mystic River
6 Requiem For A Dream
5 Traffic
4 Hotel Rwanda
3 Kill Bill Vol 1&2
2 The 25th Hour
1 Memento
Anyway, when I got home yesterday LA Confidential was on. Great flick. Then I remembered talking with some movie fans in the late 90s about the best movies of the 90s and how this was near the top of the list. And since we're now on the second half of the current decade I decided it was time for a top 10 list.
10 Snatch.
9 High Fidelity
8 Gladiator
7 Mystic River
6 Requiem For A Dream
5 Traffic
4 Hotel Rwanda
3 Kill Bill Vol 1&2
2 The 25th Hour
1 Memento
July 05, 2006
What the hell does it take Dubya? How could such a huge move not cause you to react IMMEDIATELY? I saw you on tv yesterday, sweating like a pig. Why didn't you send some troops to handle this crisis?
No I'm not talking about that hobbitt in Korea lobbing missiles around Asia like well, like Dubya would. It's this mess in Jersey. Bad enough they had to close send home all these government workers without pay. But when you close a casino, you've gone too fucking far. And Atlantic City? What did Worm say about the poker room at the Taj? "Where the sand turns to gold."
And Mikey Mcd's response "fuck it, let's go."
Let's understand something. New Jersey sucks. Minus Tony Soprano, nothing good has come from Jersey. It is without question, the armpit of America. But it is home to Atlantic City, and all those casinos. And in those casinos are many poker tables. All of which are just sitting there today. No one raking back some bit pots, no bluffs. No horrible bad beats or smooth calls. No tilt or slow playing. Just sitting there like any normal table. Making Jersey even more of a waste land, and I didn't think that was possible.
No I'm not talking about that hobbitt in Korea lobbing missiles around Asia like well, like Dubya would. It's this mess in Jersey. Bad enough they had to close send home all these government workers without pay. But when you close a casino, you've gone too fucking far. And Atlantic City? What did Worm say about the poker room at the Taj? "Where the sand turns to gold."
And Mikey Mcd's response "fuck it, let's go."
Let's understand something. New Jersey sucks. Minus Tony Soprano, nothing good has come from Jersey. It is without question, the armpit of America. But it is home to Atlantic City, and all those casinos. And in those casinos are many poker tables. All of which are just sitting there today. No one raking back some bit pots, no bluffs. No horrible bad beats or smooth calls. No tilt or slow playing. Just sitting there like any normal table. Making Jersey even more of a waste land, and I didn't think that was possible.
July 03, 2006
Rated: FUC by H.I.R.P of America
Meaning, FOR YOU CONGRESS. Or, if you prefer you can change the first word to something else. Anyway, I just read a story about Congress getting their panties all in a twist because a Christian movie, "Facing the Giants" was rated PG isntead of G due to religious content.
"This incident raises the disquieting possibility that the MPAA considers exposure to Christian themes more dangerous for children than exposure to gratuitous sex and violence," Blunt said in a letter to MPAA Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Dan Glickman.
Um, in my opinion you're damn right exposure to Christian themes, and for that matter any relgious themes, is as dangerous if not more so for children then sex and violence. For starters, we can prove sex happens and violence occur. And both happen a whole lot in Gods name (well sex may not happen in his/her name but it sure is brought up a lot during) Either way you slice it, all three issues should be left between parent and their kids. And if a movie needs to be flagged so the parents know the content, how can that be a bad thing?
Mainly because so many parents would just see a G rating and think that it just had a nice harmless story, with perhaps a good message. But not every parent thinks a Christian message, or any other religious message is "good." Or at the very least, a subject they want anyone talking to their kids about.
I think trying to slip the bible thumping in under the rader of a G rating is a scandalous manipulative move. And I'm just happy my people are running Hollywood and put a stop to this horse shit.
Look, do I think they had some malicious intent? No. But if they want to claim they want parents to know what their kids are seeing, they should welcome a PG rating. If that PG rating makes some parents hesitate for a split second and find out what the movie is about, how can that be a bad thing? It's only bad if they are trying to be manipulative.
And Congress wants to cry about violence and sex? Maybe we should keep kids from watching the news. Stories about how you assholes have us in a war we can't win, and how often do I see a story about one of them in some extra marital curriculum. Nevermind keeping the kids from the news, keep me away from watching the news.
"This incident raises the disquieting possibility that the MPAA considers exposure to Christian themes more dangerous for children than exposure to gratuitous sex and violence," Blunt said in a letter to MPAA Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Dan Glickman.
Um, in my opinion you're damn right exposure to Christian themes, and for that matter any relgious themes, is as dangerous if not more so for children then sex and violence. For starters, we can prove sex happens and violence occur. And both happen a whole lot in Gods name (well sex may not happen in his/her name but it sure is brought up a lot during) Either way you slice it, all three issues should be left between parent and their kids. And if a movie needs to be flagged so the parents know the content, how can that be a bad thing?
Mainly because so many parents would just see a G rating and think that it just had a nice harmless story, with perhaps a good message. But not every parent thinks a Christian message, or any other religious message is "good." Or at the very least, a subject they want anyone talking to their kids about.
I think trying to slip the bible thumping in under the rader of a G rating is a scandalous manipulative move. And I'm just happy my people are running Hollywood and put a stop to this horse shit.
Look, do I think they had some malicious intent? No. But if they want to claim they want parents to know what their kids are seeing, they should welcome a PG rating. If that PG rating makes some parents hesitate for a split second and find out what the movie is about, how can that be a bad thing? It's only bad if they are trying to be manipulative.
And Congress wants to cry about violence and sex? Maybe we should keep kids from watching the news. Stories about how you assholes have us in a war we can't win, and how often do I see a story about one of them in some extra marital curriculum. Nevermind keeping the kids from the news, keep me away from watching the news.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)