Yesterday Major League Baseball celebrated the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier. Not just a huge day in baseball, or sports, but a catalyst for the entire Civil Rights Movement. Reminded me that back in 5th grade I wrote a paper on Jackie, which helped me connect to a ball player I otherwise had no connection to. He wasn’t an ex-Met, he wasn’t a member of the Cleveland Indians (my dads’ childhood team, therefore his heroes always meant something to me), but that paper made me a Jackie fan for life, as well as opened a soft spot in my heart for the Brooklyn Dodgers.
After Do The Right Thing came out just a few years later I wanted to get a Robinson #42 jersey, this was way before the term “throwback” jersey was used to market baseball jerseys. As well back when baseball knew how to market itself, and more importantly, how to still market itself to African-Americans. There isn’t a date to remember, but at some point baseball either just forgot about African-Americans or couldn’t figure out how to market the game to them. I do know, however, it was right around this time. This is when Michael Jordan was exploding on to the sports scene, as well as Americas conscience.
Jordan, along with Nike whose roll can’t be forgotten, helped make basketball the most popular sport in the inner-city. While baseball lost its claim to Americas Past time, and was passed up by the NBA and NFL. Major league rosters are now something like 40% minority, but only 8% of all players are African-American. In 1975 the number was 27.5%. In part, this is due to the increase in international players joining the majors. Baseball is huge in Latin-America. So I think Jackie would be proud that so many minorities are in the game, yet the trend is scary. The NBA is only 10% white now. Why the big difference? I think it comes down to marketing.
Many point to the difficulties in having large baseball fields in the cities, as well as the costs of bats, cleats, gloves and helmets. Where as basketball courts are relatively small, and basketballs are pretty cheap. This is where Major League Baseball needs to step in. There are some programs, such as RBI (Reviving Baseball in Inner Cities) but that isn’t enough. Not only do you have to give them a place to play, but idols to mimic. Everyone my age spent time dribbling a ball alone, counting down an imaginary clock and pretending to be Michael Jordan taking the final shot. Baseball has done an atrocious job of giving young fans, especially black fans, real idols.
First of all, they screwed up when they did away with the NBC Game of the Week every Saturday afternoon. World Series games start so late, that even adults can’t stay up for them. But they never marketed players right, except for Cal Ripkens assault on the record books and the great home run race of 98, which is now forever tainted. You can watch any rap video, and the majority of those in the videos are wearing baseball hats. But for some reason, it’s just an accessory, and this is baseballs fault. They didn’t do nearly enough to promote Ken Griffey Jr. in the early and mid-90’s. And you know what, same goes with Barry Bonds. The NBA found a way to make Charles Barkley a role model for not being a role model, and baseball had the same opportunity with Bonds.
Baseball tries to walk a thin line, as it always wants to keep true to its roots and long lasting traditions, but still run a successful business. And as long as the television contracts were there, and the seats are being filled, there were no reasons to worry. But they’ve squeezed a large part of its fan base out of the picture. The irony is, many teams set up camps in places like the Dominican Republic. Camps where they teach the game and give opportunities to those who otherwise wouldn’t have any, and they can’t do anything similar in this country.
Today, baseball needs to make a big deal out of Ryan Howard. Carl Crawford jerseys need to be as hot as Dwayne Wade’s. Dontrelle Willis needs to be in commercials. Yesterday all-time greats Hank Aaron and Frank Robinson threw out first pitches to help honor Jackie for blazing the trail, who will throw out the first pitch in 20 or 30 years?
April 16, 2007
April 10, 2007
Hirp Says..
So once again there’s a story in the news. We’ve heard it before, but it seems to be a monthly occurrence now. Celebrity makes an ignorant, hateful statement and then all hell breaks loose. We get the child-like forced apology. We get outrage from all those who seem to make careers off telling us what is offensive. There are the subsequent cries for them to lose their jobs. Wait a few weeks, repeat.
This time its “shock-jock” Imus. What he said is vile and disgusting. You probably heard about it, he refered to a women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hoes.” It’s blatantly racist, and there’s no excuse for it. But you know what really annoys me about this situation? Its not even the ignorance, or the hate that bothers me. Its all the bullshit that follows. Look, if those are his beliefs and he’s that asshole, fine. Imus, own your beliefs. Don’t apologize. We know you’re doing it just to try and save your ass, so it’s a waste of time. Also, I don’t think he should automatically lose his job. I don’t think he should get a raise or anything either. I just think he should be allowed to be an asshole without getting fired for it. If sub sequentially, his ratings fall so far that they need to let him go because it’s the right business decision, then so be it.
But lets be real, I can write hateful horrible things here if I so choose, and I won’t lose my job for the statements themselves. Doing it on company time or property could possibly change that, but this isn’t my job. Shocking statements, well that sounds like it just might be part of the job description of a “shock-jock.” Losing your cool and having a sudden case of diarrhea of the mouth is a hazard of the job for a comedian being heckled, as was the case with Michael Richards. They’re complete assholes for what they said, but in America, you’re allowed to be a complete asshole.
We can disagree with their statements, and hopefully it sparks conversation and perhaps they actually learn something and if we’re really lucky, like the guy who hooked up with Britney Spears in rehab lucky, maybe they’ll even change their thinking. But I’d respect these idiots a lot more if they had the chutzpah to stand up for themselves. Fred Phelps might be the biggest piece of shit on the planet, or at least belongs in the conversation, but at least he stands by his ignorant thinking. I can at least respect him for that, even if he’s so obviously stupid.
Imus, you said what you said and it was stupid and it makes you a complete jackass. Don’t apologize for it just to save your ass. He seems to be trying to do both. He’s telling Matt Lauer “Well, perhaps I can’t (change),” when asked if he’ll clean up his act. He’s passing the buck, and saying that the phrase started in the black community. But he’s also gone on and apologized. Sounding like the politicians he was so quick to call out.
CBS radio, quit it with the suspension and the talk of firing him for his comments. Let his listeners, your advertisers and the general public decide his fate and yours. You wanted the rating by putting someone like him on the air, don’t cut and run now. I’m not suggesting they jump behind him, and reiterate his comments by any means. But this is their mess too.
I’m just sick of people who are ballsy enough to make a bold statement, and then backpedal like me in the ring with Mike Tyson. Isiah Washington called someone a fag on the set of “Grey’s Anatomy” and checks into rehab. Rehab? Are you effin’ kidding me?! Dude, you’re an asshole. But you’re a damn fine actor (have been for years too, always underrated) so do your job, and be a dickhead. If by running off at the mouth you end up having experiences that change your views, great. There should be no rehab, no meetings with leaders of the community you offended and they should keep their jobs.
To quote a wise man, “never let anyone outside the family know what you’re thinking,” and “you could act like a man!”
This time its “shock-jock” Imus. What he said is vile and disgusting. You probably heard about it, he refered to a women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hoes.” It’s blatantly racist, and there’s no excuse for it. But you know what really annoys me about this situation? Its not even the ignorance, or the hate that bothers me. Its all the bullshit that follows. Look, if those are his beliefs and he’s that asshole, fine. Imus, own your beliefs. Don’t apologize. We know you’re doing it just to try and save your ass, so it’s a waste of time. Also, I don’t think he should automatically lose his job. I don’t think he should get a raise or anything either. I just think he should be allowed to be an asshole without getting fired for it. If sub sequentially, his ratings fall so far that they need to let him go because it’s the right business decision, then so be it.
But lets be real, I can write hateful horrible things here if I so choose, and I won’t lose my job for the statements themselves. Doing it on company time or property could possibly change that, but this isn’t my job. Shocking statements, well that sounds like it just might be part of the job description of a “shock-jock.” Losing your cool and having a sudden case of diarrhea of the mouth is a hazard of the job for a comedian being heckled, as was the case with Michael Richards. They’re complete assholes for what they said, but in America, you’re allowed to be a complete asshole.
We can disagree with their statements, and hopefully it sparks conversation and perhaps they actually learn something and if we’re really lucky, like the guy who hooked up with Britney Spears in rehab lucky, maybe they’ll even change their thinking. But I’d respect these idiots a lot more if they had the chutzpah to stand up for themselves. Fred Phelps might be the biggest piece of shit on the planet, or at least belongs in the conversation, but at least he stands by his ignorant thinking. I can at least respect him for that, even if he’s so obviously stupid.
Imus, you said what you said and it was stupid and it makes you a complete jackass. Don’t apologize for it just to save your ass. He seems to be trying to do both. He’s telling Matt Lauer “Well, perhaps I can’t (change),” when asked if he’ll clean up his act. He’s passing the buck, and saying that the phrase started in the black community. But he’s also gone on and apologized. Sounding like the politicians he was so quick to call out.
CBS radio, quit it with the suspension and the talk of firing him for his comments. Let his listeners, your advertisers and the general public decide his fate and yours. You wanted the rating by putting someone like him on the air, don’t cut and run now. I’m not suggesting they jump behind him, and reiterate his comments by any means. But this is their mess too.
I’m just sick of people who are ballsy enough to make a bold statement, and then backpedal like me in the ring with Mike Tyson. Isiah Washington called someone a fag on the set of “Grey’s Anatomy” and checks into rehab. Rehab? Are you effin’ kidding me?! Dude, you’re an asshole. But you’re a damn fine actor (have been for years too, always underrated) so do your job, and be a dickhead. If by running off at the mouth you end up having experiences that change your views, great. There should be no rehab, no meetings with leaders of the community you offended and they should keep their jobs.
To quote a wise man, “never let anyone outside the family know what you’re thinking,” and “you could act like a man!”
April 09, 2007
Thank HBO For Sundays
Sunday nights are usually pretty worthless, even evil sometimes. Monday just lurks, casting a shadow that makes it nearly impossible to really just relax. Then the shows hit, which make Sundays from 8pm to 10pm the best two hours of the week. Which does more to confuse me than books without pictures, I’m not supposed to look forward to Sundays. And right after the credits role on Entourage, its back to being everything I despise about Sundays. Now before you read this, if you watch either “The Sopranos” or “Entourage,” and haven’t yet seen them yet, you’re going to want to stop reading now.
Last night my old friends came back. Seeing “The Sopranos” come back, was really like seeing family I haven’t seen in a while. And it was just as good to see them, a fantastic episode. A&E has been showing the series from the start, and I’ve caught a couple episodes, which made me realize how much better the show used to be. That’s not meant as a slam at the last few seasons; even at its “worst” it was still better than 99.8% of other shows. They just set the bar that high. Last night it reached those heights again, and I’m confident the show will end and leave us wanting more, but still satisfy every fan. And I could see the show ending any number of ways, and not being let down. Prison, dirt nap or a nice spot in Sicily are all equally possible and attractive endings for T.
I followed Sopranos, and my moms’ spaghetti which is to die for, with a trip to my friends house to catch up with my buddies in LA, Vinnie Chase, Turtle, E, Drama and everyone’s favorite asshole Ari. Last year ended with Vince firing Ari, in a cliff hanger ending that would make David Chase proud. This year picked up with a new agent, who seems perfect, too good to be true even, a big birthday and a couple of friends trying to mend a friendship like a couple of love sick teenagers, if only they weren’t both heterosexual men. The homosexual undertones, that just about every show on TV tries to tackle, have only been written this well on “Seinfeld” and “Friends.” This was up there with the classic “Seinfeld,” “not that there’s anything wrong with that” episode, yet more realistic.
As for my expectations for the rest of the season, I have no doubt Vince will return to Ari. But I know it’ll take the majority of the year, and I’m not at all disappointed by knowing this or that this twist ever took place. Some shows try something, and you just think, “Wow, t hat’s a mistake.” I have all the confidence in these writers and this show, and that they will make it work.
The new agent, Amanda, is played by Carla Gugino, who was the title role in the failed Out of Sight spin off, “Karen Sisco” and also had roles in Sin City and Night at the Museum. And she brings something new to the table, a smart, business savvy woman who can trade barbs with Ari, but play mother hen to the fellas. Looking forward to seeing more of her character, and I really didn’t think that was possible. It’s really like seeing a friend who broke up with the girlfriend everyone thought was a blast, expecting the next to be a total buzz kill, and realizing she’s actually pretty damn cool. Okay, I really take my television viewing seriously. But if I didn’t, what would I post about and why would you read this? Now, don’t thank me, we’ll keep it this cool, un-said thing just between us.
Oh, and the product placement at the birthday party was pure genius. To make a joke out of product placement, while placing products, all the while staying true to the show? Genius, just genius.
Last night my old friends came back. Seeing “The Sopranos” come back, was really like seeing family I haven’t seen in a while. And it was just as good to see them, a fantastic episode. A&E has been showing the series from the start, and I’ve caught a couple episodes, which made me realize how much better the show used to be. That’s not meant as a slam at the last few seasons; even at its “worst” it was still better than 99.8% of other shows. They just set the bar that high. Last night it reached those heights again, and I’m confident the show will end and leave us wanting more, but still satisfy every fan. And I could see the show ending any number of ways, and not being let down. Prison, dirt nap or a nice spot in Sicily are all equally possible and attractive endings for T.
I followed Sopranos, and my moms’ spaghetti which is to die for, with a trip to my friends house to catch up with my buddies in LA, Vinnie Chase, Turtle, E, Drama and everyone’s favorite asshole Ari. Last year ended with Vince firing Ari, in a cliff hanger ending that would make David Chase proud. This year picked up with a new agent, who seems perfect, too good to be true even, a big birthday and a couple of friends trying to mend a friendship like a couple of love sick teenagers, if only they weren’t both heterosexual men. The homosexual undertones, that just about every show on TV tries to tackle, have only been written this well on “Seinfeld” and “Friends.” This was up there with the classic “Seinfeld,” “not that there’s anything wrong with that” episode, yet more realistic.
As for my expectations for the rest of the season, I have no doubt Vince will return to Ari. But I know it’ll take the majority of the year, and I’m not at all disappointed by knowing this or that this twist ever took place. Some shows try something, and you just think, “Wow, t hat’s a mistake.” I have all the confidence in these writers and this show, and that they will make it work.
The new agent, Amanda, is played by Carla Gugino, who was the title role in the failed Out of Sight spin off, “Karen Sisco” and also had roles in Sin City and Night at the Museum. And she brings something new to the table, a smart, business savvy woman who can trade barbs with Ari, but play mother hen to the fellas. Looking forward to seeing more of her character, and I really didn’t think that was possible. It’s really like seeing a friend who broke up with the girlfriend everyone thought was a blast, expecting the next to be a total buzz kill, and realizing she’s actually pretty damn cool. Okay, I really take my television viewing seriously. But if I didn’t, what would I post about and why would you read this? Now, don’t thank me, we’ll keep it this cool, un-said thing just between us.
Oh, and the product placement at the birthday party was pure genius. To make a joke out of product placement, while placing products, all the while staying true to the show? Genius, just genius.
April 06, 2007
I Digress
This post could prove to be a really bad idea, I’m just saying. It shouldn’t, but I acknowledge that it easily could. I like to label things. I know what my favorite movie is. I know which CDs are my favorite. I’ve ranked celebrity women 1-10. If you asked, I could pick a favorite tee shirt, my favorite day of the week or my favorite sound. Did you see High Fidelity; well I could work in that record shop. Perhaps you’re wondering where the hell this is going, well I’m getting there damnit.
See, I started dating someone and for some reason, this is a rare instance in which I don’t know how to, and even more than t hat, I’m afraid to label it. Friends asked, “so are you guys dating now?” I figured, we’ve gone on dates, and looking to go on more. So yes, I’d consider that “dating.” But I found myself saying “yes, pretty much.” I haven’t a clue what “pretty much” means. It seems almost like saying “kinda pregnant,” and good God, why am I making a comparison to pregnancy? Am I trying to jinx myself? Oh yeah, never mind.
So then after that question was asked a few times, I started hearing, “is she your girlfriend?” And I haven’t a clue to be honest. I don’t have a definition that explains to me when and how that transition occurs. You may have figured this out, but I tend to over-analyze things. Well, that’s what I’m told anyway. I think I just analyze situations, and I think that’s what you’re supposed to do. But mostly, I think the label scares me because of what it brings with it. There are responsibilities, and expectations. Expectations terrify me, what if they don’t get met? Just when you do something to reach expectations, they get raised.
It’s not that I think of myself as “better than” most guys. I just try to recognize things that guys generally do that piss off women, and not do those things. But maybe all this is just the same fear of commitment that every other guy, and probably girl, has. I think we hide behind the “well I just want to keep my options open” bullshit. What it really is, we don’t want to have either our expectations disappointed, or be the disappointee.
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Now for another dilemma of mine, this Sunday night marks the return of both “The Sopranos” and “Entourage.” This makes Sunday one of the greatest days of the year, up there along with the first day of the NCAA Tournament and Opening Day. It’s that huge. The problem stems from the fact that it’s the same night. Since “The Sopranos” came on the air, it’s been a bit of a family tradition for me to watch with my parents. And last year, it became a tradition to watch “Entourage” with a couple of friends. Now, my friends and parents live about 20 minutes apart. Thankfully there’s DVR, so I’m not really worried about missing anything. But do I really want to drive the 20 minutes from my apartment out to the burbs, watch one show with the parental units, then high tail it across town for another show? Isn’t that a little overboard for a couple of television shows? And with a tank of gas costing more than a losing trip to the casino, it may not be economically viable at this time.
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As I write this, I am on hold with the bank. Have I mentioned how much I hate being on hold? I have to admit, this new feature they have that tells me how many callers are in front of me, is huge. It almost makes a game of it. I hear some cheesy music, a little plug for the company, then a prompt comes on and tells me how appreciated my business is and how important my call is to them. Followed by telling me how many callers are ahead of me. So far it seems to usually drop by two callers every time the prompt comes back on. I actually want to bet with myself what the number will be, and how long it will be till I get someone on the phone. There’s five left, and its 9:36am. I’m taking the under on 9:45. And I wont post this on my blog until they pick up.
*Your reading my blog is important to me, there are currently…three…other people reading this blog. Please remain on the page and we’ll find a post for you shortly. Thank you.
Its 9:39, my call is still important to them. That makes me feel good. Never mind that it’s freezing out, and I’m only working a half day, and this call is literally making me watch every minute of the morning go by, cause my call is still important to them. It’s nice to matter.
Since I have a second, I’m wondering how to get as the voice of a company’s automated system. Oh, there’s just one person left ahead of me. Shit, suddenly I can’t remember why I called!! I’m panicking. Oh, yeah. Now I remember. Whew. It’s 9:43, and there’s a call on my other line. There’s NO chance that I answer that. And now they’re picking up. I told you it would be before 9:45!
See, I started dating someone and for some reason, this is a rare instance in which I don’t know how to, and even more than t hat, I’m afraid to label it. Friends asked, “so are you guys dating now?” I figured, we’ve gone on dates, and looking to go on more. So yes, I’d consider that “dating.” But I found myself saying “yes, pretty much.” I haven’t a clue what “pretty much” means. It seems almost like saying “kinda pregnant,” and good God, why am I making a comparison to pregnancy? Am I trying to jinx myself? Oh yeah, never mind.
So then after that question was asked a few times, I started hearing, “is she your girlfriend?” And I haven’t a clue to be honest. I don’t have a definition that explains to me when and how that transition occurs. You may have figured this out, but I tend to over-analyze things. Well, that’s what I’m told anyway. I think I just analyze situations, and I think that’s what you’re supposed to do. But mostly, I think the label scares me because of what it brings with it. There are responsibilities, and expectations. Expectations terrify me, what if they don’t get met? Just when you do something to reach expectations, they get raised.
It’s not that I think of myself as “better than” most guys. I just try to recognize things that guys generally do that piss off women, and not do those things. But maybe all this is just the same fear of commitment that every other guy, and probably girl, has. I think we hide behind the “well I just want to keep my options open” bullshit. What it really is, we don’t want to have either our expectations disappointed, or be the disappointee.
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Now for another dilemma of mine, this Sunday night marks the return of both “The Sopranos” and “Entourage.” This makes Sunday one of the greatest days of the year, up there along with the first day of the NCAA Tournament and Opening Day. It’s that huge. The problem stems from the fact that it’s the same night. Since “The Sopranos” came on the air, it’s been a bit of a family tradition for me to watch with my parents. And last year, it became a tradition to watch “Entourage” with a couple of friends. Now, my friends and parents live about 20 minutes apart. Thankfully there’s DVR, so I’m not really worried about missing anything. But do I really want to drive the 20 minutes from my apartment out to the burbs, watch one show with the parental units, then high tail it across town for another show? Isn’t that a little overboard for a couple of television shows? And with a tank of gas costing more than a losing trip to the casino, it may not be economically viable at this time.
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As I write this, I am on hold with the bank. Have I mentioned how much I hate being on hold? I have to admit, this new feature they have that tells me how many callers are in front of me, is huge. It almost makes a game of it. I hear some cheesy music, a little plug for the company, then a prompt comes on and tells me how appreciated my business is and how important my call is to them. Followed by telling me how many callers are ahead of me. So far it seems to usually drop by two callers every time the prompt comes back on. I actually want to bet with myself what the number will be, and how long it will be till I get someone on the phone. There’s five left, and its 9:36am. I’m taking the under on 9:45. And I wont post this on my blog until they pick up.
*Your reading my blog is important to me, there are currently…three…other people reading this blog. Please remain on the page and we’ll find a post for you shortly. Thank you.
Its 9:39, my call is still important to them. That makes me feel good. Never mind that it’s freezing out, and I’m only working a half day, and this call is literally making me watch every minute of the morning go by, cause my call is still important to them. It’s nice to matter.
Since I have a second, I’m wondering how to get as the voice of a company’s automated system. Oh, there’s just one person left ahead of me. Shit, suddenly I can’t remember why I called!! I’m panicking. Oh, yeah. Now I remember. Whew. It’s 9:43, and there’s a call on my other line. There’s NO chance that I answer that. And now they’re picking up. I told you it would be before 9:45!
April 05, 2007
Never Right
Yesterday I read a story in the news about a group of 5th graders who were caught, and charged, for having sex in an unsupervised classroom. One of the most sickening stories you can read, and yet it sounded vaguely familiar. I think it was about a year ago that there was a nearly identical story in the news. Anyway, I forwarded the story on to some friends and it lead to some conversations. In one such conversation, a friend and I got around to talking about the controversy in Texas as they debated whether or not all pre-teen girls should have to take an HPV vaccination.
It baffles me that anyone would be against a vaccination that helps pre-vent cancer, but there was the right-wing claiming that the vaccination promotes promiscuity. They think this because if you provide health care that can prevent a sexual transmitted disease, well then kids will just be that much more likely to have sex. And sex is wrong, so if a few girls die and that scares more girls out of having sex, well then that’s the right thing. This is completely insanity. Teenagers have sex, and now it’s even more prevalent among pre-teens. A vaccine that can prevent cancer or providing condoms doesn’t encourage sex. Just as a seatbelt doesn’t encourage car accidents. We give our police officers bullet proof vests, not to encourage them to get shot, but to protect them if it happens.
I just can’t understand their reasoning, and that bothers me. Is it that they lack confidence in their parenting? Do they not trust their kids? Are they just trying to parent everyone else’s kids? Is it okay to just bitch slap these people? Maybe their sex lives are so bad, they’re afraid they’d be jealous if their 17 year olds were getting some good lovin’.
It’s not like I don’t care if kids have sex. I have six nieces and nephews, not counting my friends’ kids that I consider nieces and nephews. And I tried to make a deal with my niece, that she wouldn’t date till she was 35 or I was dead, whichever happened last. Scaring the shit out of them won’t prevent kids from having sex, arming them with as much information as possible is the best way to ensure they make smart decisions. How the right-wing hasn’t figured this out yet, baffles me. They have to know this. They’re smart enough to steal a Presidency, twice. Smart enough to con Americans into giving billions of dollars to their churches, the NRA and nascar. (Word underlined “nascar,” and wants me to capitalize the entire word, I won’t acknowledge that) They have to be smart enough to understand education. So assuming they are smart enough for that, means they’re just trying to manipulate America.
Maybe we’d just be better off if we kept the Right from reproducing.
It baffles me that anyone would be against a vaccination that helps pre-vent cancer, but there was the right-wing claiming that the vaccination promotes promiscuity. They think this because if you provide health care that can prevent a sexual transmitted disease, well then kids will just be that much more likely to have sex. And sex is wrong, so if a few girls die and that scares more girls out of having sex, well then that’s the right thing. This is completely insanity. Teenagers have sex, and now it’s even more prevalent among pre-teens. A vaccine that can prevent cancer or providing condoms doesn’t encourage sex. Just as a seatbelt doesn’t encourage car accidents. We give our police officers bullet proof vests, not to encourage them to get shot, but to protect them if it happens.
I just can’t understand their reasoning, and that bothers me. Is it that they lack confidence in their parenting? Do they not trust their kids? Are they just trying to parent everyone else’s kids? Is it okay to just bitch slap these people? Maybe their sex lives are so bad, they’re afraid they’d be jealous if their 17 year olds were getting some good lovin’.
It’s not like I don’t care if kids have sex. I have six nieces and nephews, not counting my friends’ kids that I consider nieces and nephews. And I tried to make a deal with my niece, that she wouldn’t date till she was 35 or I was dead, whichever happened last. Scaring the shit out of them won’t prevent kids from having sex, arming them with as much information as possible is the best way to ensure they make smart decisions. How the right-wing hasn’t figured this out yet, baffles me. They have to know this. They’re smart enough to steal a Presidency, twice. Smart enough to con Americans into giving billions of dollars to their churches, the NRA and nascar. (Word underlined “nascar,” and wants me to capitalize the entire word, I won’t acknowledge that) They have to be smart enough to understand education. So assuming they are smart enough for that, means they’re just trying to manipulate America.
Maybe we’d just be better off if we kept the Right from reproducing.
April 04, 2007
Short Post
Not the best start to a day for me. It’s friggin’ cold out, I don’t like the cold. I left my earphones in the car, and the only backup pair in my desk is screwed up. The right side doesn’t work. So I can easily block out everyone that sits to the left, but none of the morons on my right. Yes, I am feeling lazy enough today that I may not go get my earphones. Also, I’m realizing more and more that I wish I hadn’t put off getting my taxes done. I’m sure any place I go is going to be pretty packed now, and I don’t do waiting real well.
I don’t watch Idol, I think I’ve made that pretty clear in the past. So last night I had House DVR’d and went to start it up, unfortunately it started recording early, and I got the last few minutes of Idol. Had a few questions pop up. First, do these people just quit their jobs to be on the show? Are they paid the entire time they are on? Also, how come it seems anytime there’s a black woman on the show, she happens to be the overweight woman with a huge voice, but the white women always seem to be skinny and showing a lot of skin? Is it the producers that are trying to re-enforce racial stereotypes, is it the voters, or are all these stereotypes true? Hmmm. That could be an interesting study.
American Stereotype Idol. Really, look at Ruben, the big jolly guy. Taylor, the white guy who can’t dance. Simon, the stuck up Brit. Wasn’t there something about that Fantasia girl, like she couldn’t read or something? Randy has to call everyone “dawg.” And if Seacrest flamed any more, they’d have to call the fire department. I might have to take some time to look into this one day, if only I can do it without watching the damn show.
I don’t watch Idol, I think I’ve made that pretty clear in the past. So last night I had House DVR’d and went to start it up, unfortunately it started recording early, and I got the last few minutes of Idol. Had a few questions pop up. First, do these people just quit their jobs to be on the show? Are they paid the entire time they are on? Also, how come it seems anytime there’s a black woman on the show, she happens to be the overweight woman with a huge voice, but the white women always seem to be skinny and showing a lot of skin? Is it the producers that are trying to re-enforce racial stereotypes, is it the voters, or are all these stereotypes true? Hmmm. That could be an interesting study.
American Stereotype Idol. Really, look at Ruben, the big jolly guy. Taylor, the white guy who can’t dance. Simon, the stuck up Brit. Wasn’t there something about that Fantasia girl, like she couldn’t read or something? Randy has to call everyone “dawg.” And if Seacrest flamed any more, they’d have to call the fire department. I might have to take some time to look into this one day, if only I can do it without watching the damn show.
April 03, 2007
Jinx
So last night I was talking to a friend about KU hoops, and this friend blames herself for KU losing. She feels she jinxed them. Now this is the same friend I’ve argued about signs and destiny with, this is actually relevant here. I, of course, don’t believe in jinxing. Even though I joke about it with friends before poker games, as we try to jinx or reverse-jinx each other. But the truth is, I think the whole theory is complete bullshit. Really, is there anything more egocentric? To think there’s something about us that actually impacts events, well that’s putting just a little too much value in what we do.
For starters, there are over 300 teams in NCAA Division I basketball. Each team has a fan base, and there’s millions upon millions of fans out there. Did each team just have one jinx? What causes someone to be jinxed? Is it “karma”? Well, you know what I think about karma. Florida has fans just like everyone else, karma is not why they just won back to back titles and a football title. The answer is probably money. Is there luck involved? Yes, sure. Luck is completely random, taking advantage of an opportunity requires a choice, dedication and execution.
As fans we have nothing to do with any of that. Even though it can feel like it sometime, and that’s what makes us fans. But the truth is our lives have zero impact on the games we watch and teams we cheer for. To think there’s something about us that causes our teams to lose is ludicrous, because thinking that also means a team wins because of someone else.
We may feel jinxed, when our teams lose or we have a bad run of luck. But I believe luck is completely random, but we can impact our luck by our choices. My friend said, “of course you don’t believe in jinxing, you don’t believe in anything.” It’s not as harsh as it sounds, and it’s true. I don’t believe there’s a plan or reason for everything that happens. I don’t believe good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. I don’t believe what goes around comes around. I believe, that on some level, there’s always someone responsible for an action. And we’re responsible for our reactions.
I understand the psychology, that our environment and experiences impact our decisions and actions. So on that level, we aren’t totally responsible. If someone is raised around poverty and violence, that increases the chances of them continuing similar behavior. But it wasn’t a plan, or some jinx that caused the bad luck. With time and effort, you can trace it back and find specific causes.
It’s ironic, a guy who pretty much dislikes people in general, believes in people above anything else. Not necessarily that we’re all good, or bad for that matter, but that we’re the responsible for everything. Things happen, but it’s how we handle it that determines the outcome. No plans, divine intervention, jinxing or fate. Just choices.
For starters, there are over 300 teams in NCAA Division I basketball. Each team has a fan base, and there’s millions upon millions of fans out there. Did each team just have one jinx? What causes someone to be jinxed? Is it “karma”? Well, you know what I think about karma. Florida has fans just like everyone else, karma is not why they just won back to back titles and a football title. The answer is probably money. Is there luck involved? Yes, sure. Luck is completely random, taking advantage of an opportunity requires a choice, dedication and execution.
As fans we have nothing to do with any of that. Even though it can feel like it sometime, and that’s what makes us fans. But the truth is our lives have zero impact on the games we watch and teams we cheer for. To think there’s something about us that causes our teams to lose is ludicrous, because thinking that also means a team wins because of someone else.
We may feel jinxed, when our teams lose or we have a bad run of luck. But I believe luck is completely random, but we can impact our luck by our choices. My friend said, “of course you don’t believe in jinxing, you don’t believe in anything.” It’s not as harsh as it sounds, and it’s true. I don’t believe there’s a plan or reason for everything that happens. I don’t believe good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. I don’t believe what goes around comes around. I believe, that on some level, there’s always someone responsible for an action. And we’re responsible for our reactions.
I understand the psychology, that our environment and experiences impact our decisions and actions. So on that level, we aren’t totally responsible. If someone is raised around poverty and violence, that increases the chances of them continuing similar behavior. But it wasn’t a plan, or some jinx that caused the bad luck. With time and effort, you can trace it back and find specific causes.
It’s ironic, a guy who pretty much dislikes people in general, believes in people above anything else. Not necessarily that we’re all good, or bad for that matter, but that we’re the responsible for everything. Things happen, but it’s how we handle it that determines the outcome. No plans, divine intervention, jinxing or fate. Just choices.
April 02, 2007
Opening Day
“The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again.:” – Terance Mann, Field of Dreams
Last night was Opening Night for the 2007 baseball season, and lucky for me it just so happen that the game was played between my New York Mets and those shits in St. Louis, the Cardinals. Sorry, still bitter about how last season ended. But that’s the beauty of Opening Day. It’s a new season, brand new start. Last year doesn’t matter. Right now, everyone is in first place. Yes, even the Royals. Every fan has dreams of seeing their team rush the field in October. I love Opening Day. It should be a National Holiday. Forget Presidents Day, throw out Valentines Day. Give me Opening Day. You want a day to celebrate a resurrection and hope? It’s Opening Day.
Baseball might not be Americas Sport anymore, but none of the other games can hold a candle to Opening Day. Not only does it come with hops and dreams for the new season, but it serves as a reminder for seasons past. I remember clear as day being in the car on the way home from school in 1988 and hearing the play-by-play of Darryl Strawberry hitting a home run that hit the roof of Olympic Stadium in Montreal. I can still see Rey Ordonez throw a strike from short left field to nail a runner at home. Oh yeah, and he made the throw from his knees. Or how devastating it was when Tuffy Rhodes hit three home runs off my man Dwight Gooden in Chicago in 1994. To add to the sting, the guy ended up with just 13 homers in his career. Royals fans remember falling behind 6-0 to the Twins in 2000, then coming back to win. The fondness of that memory evaporates when they realized the top of that lineup included Johnny Damon, Carlos Beltran and Jermanie Dye.
I like other sports, but no other sport makes me feel like a kid again. Ladies, if you find a guy that’s a baseball fan you have found yourself a real romantic. If you don’t believe me, or you aren’t sure, ask him about Field of Dreams. If his eyes remained dry when Ray played catch with his father, then he’s dead inside. Baseball gave us our first lessons in loyalty, sacrifice (except Yankee fans) heart break, and joy. If you’re a baseball fan, baseball was your first love. It was and is, a real relationship. Baseball cards are kept like birthday cards. And I still walk around with a 1985 Topps Dwight Gooden rookie. And anytime I show it to a baseball fan, they know what year and brand just by site. They remember the crappy gum that came inside every pack too. Hats are worn way past the time they are worn out, and it’s a sign of pride. The game has betrayed us, taken us for granted, just as much as it’s saved us. Some of us have grown bitter towards it over the years, and even sworn it off, pledging to never let it break our heart again. Those are the fans that have picked up isolated games like golf.
“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” –Crash Davis, Bull Durham
Last night was Opening Night for the 2007 baseball season, and lucky for me it just so happen that the game was played between my New York Mets and those shits in St. Louis, the Cardinals. Sorry, still bitter about how last season ended. But that’s the beauty of Opening Day. It’s a new season, brand new start. Last year doesn’t matter. Right now, everyone is in first place. Yes, even the Royals. Every fan has dreams of seeing their team rush the field in October. I love Opening Day. It should be a National Holiday. Forget Presidents Day, throw out Valentines Day. Give me Opening Day. You want a day to celebrate a resurrection and hope? It’s Opening Day.
Baseball might not be Americas Sport anymore, but none of the other games can hold a candle to Opening Day. Not only does it come with hops and dreams for the new season, but it serves as a reminder for seasons past. I remember clear as day being in the car on the way home from school in 1988 and hearing the play-by-play of Darryl Strawberry hitting a home run that hit the roof of Olympic Stadium in Montreal. I can still see Rey Ordonez throw a strike from short left field to nail a runner at home. Oh yeah, and he made the throw from his knees. Or how devastating it was when Tuffy Rhodes hit three home runs off my man Dwight Gooden in Chicago in 1994. To add to the sting, the guy ended up with just 13 homers in his career. Royals fans remember falling behind 6-0 to the Twins in 2000, then coming back to win. The fondness of that memory evaporates when they realized the top of that lineup included Johnny Damon, Carlos Beltran and Jermanie Dye.
I like other sports, but no other sport makes me feel like a kid again. Ladies, if you find a guy that’s a baseball fan you have found yourself a real romantic. If you don’t believe me, or you aren’t sure, ask him about Field of Dreams. If his eyes remained dry when Ray played catch with his father, then he’s dead inside. Baseball gave us our first lessons in loyalty, sacrifice (except Yankee fans) heart break, and joy. If you’re a baseball fan, baseball was your first love. It was and is, a real relationship. Baseball cards are kept like birthday cards. And I still walk around with a 1985 Topps Dwight Gooden rookie. And anytime I show it to a baseball fan, they know what year and brand just by site. They remember the crappy gum that came inside every pack too. Hats are worn way past the time they are worn out, and it’s a sign of pride. The game has betrayed us, taken us for granted, just as much as it’s saved us. Some of us have grown bitter towards it over the years, and even sworn it off, pledging to never let it break our heart again. Those are the fans that have picked up isolated games like golf.
“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” –Crash Davis, Bull Durham
March 30, 2007
March 29, 2007
Movie Time
There may not be an actor around today, who is as easy to like as Don Cheadle. The guy has quietly put together an amazing resume, filled with some of my favorite movies. Often he’s had some small, yet memorable role. But of late, he’s more the leading man or does a fantastic supporting job. Hotel Rwanda, Crash, Oceans 11, Traffic, Out of Sight, and smaller roles in Boogie Nights, Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead. Just love this guy, he’s just so easy to watch. Likeable like Denzel or Hanks, but not as forced. You know how those guys just sometimes seem to play the same character over and over? Cheadle doesn’t do that. There’s always a constant and believable struggle in his characters.
So when I first saw the previews for Reign Over Me, I was intrigued. Paired with Adam Sandler, who cracked me up with his comedies but really made a fan out of me with Spanglish, and directed by Mike Binder who did the underrated Upside of Anger, it had all the ingredients of a solid flick. Sprinkle in the 9/11 plot, and there was really no doubt that I’d see it. And I tell ya, it was very well done.
A little slow at times, along with a few un-necessary tugs on the heart strings, but over-all a very good movie. Sandler is another stand-up comedian who is probably better when doing dramas, like Robin Williams, Bill Murray, Tom Hanks (not sure if he counts as a former stand-up or not) Will Farrell and Steve Martin. So I suggest you check it out, although it won’t be a crime to wait for video. I say that only because it’s not a movie that needs to be seen on the big screen or in a hurry.
Last weekend I finally got around to seeing Blood Diamond, which I wish I had seen in the theatre. Luckily I did catch it on a big screen in a friend’s basement. I think I’ve finally forgiven Leo for doing Titanic. He was always a good actor, but after that his image overshadowed his work for a few years. His recent run of Catch Me If You Can, The Aviator, The Departed and Blood Diamond is almost De Niro-esque. The boy is really hitting on all cylinders now.
Diamond is a powerful movie, in a similar way as Hotel Rwanda and Sometimes It Rains In April. Only with enough action that it could have been a Harrison Ford movie. Only you know, back when he did viewable movies. Diamond, very easily could have been preachy and full of it self being that it’s a pretty intense yet unfamiliar topic, but it found a way to remain engaging. Seriously find yourself wondering about where it all comes from, and how sick it is that we value some piece of rock that so many suffer for. Not that I’m getting married, but if I were, I’d really have to consider an alternative for the ring. And not just because I’m cheap either.
So when I first saw the previews for Reign Over Me, I was intrigued. Paired with Adam Sandler, who cracked me up with his comedies but really made a fan out of me with Spanglish, and directed by Mike Binder who did the underrated Upside of Anger, it had all the ingredients of a solid flick. Sprinkle in the 9/11 plot, and there was really no doubt that I’d see it. And I tell ya, it was very well done.
A little slow at times, along with a few un-necessary tugs on the heart strings, but over-all a very good movie. Sandler is another stand-up comedian who is probably better when doing dramas, like Robin Williams, Bill Murray, Tom Hanks (not sure if he counts as a former stand-up or not) Will Farrell and Steve Martin. So I suggest you check it out, although it won’t be a crime to wait for video. I say that only because it’s not a movie that needs to be seen on the big screen or in a hurry.
Last weekend I finally got around to seeing Blood Diamond, which I wish I had seen in the theatre. Luckily I did catch it on a big screen in a friend’s basement. I think I’ve finally forgiven Leo for doing Titanic. He was always a good actor, but after that his image overshadowed his work for a few years. His recent run of Catch Me If You Can, The Aviator, The Departed and Blood Diamond is almost De Niro-esque. The boy is really hitting on all cylinders now.
Diamond is a powerful movie, in a similar way as Hotel Rwanda and Sometimes It Rains In April. Only with enough action that it could have been a Harrison Ford movie. Only you know, back when he did viewable movies. Diamond, very easily could have been preachy and full of it self being that it’s a pretty intense yet unfamiliar topic, but it found a way to remain engaging. Seriously find yourself wondering about where it all comes from, and how sick it is that we value some piece of rock that so many suffer for. Not that I’m getting married, but if I were, I’d really have to consider an alternative for the ring. And not just because I’m cheap either.
March 28, 2007
Okay, so I'm bragging by posting this. And I don't care. It's pretty damn funny to be honest, maybe a little long. Anyway, just my way to say congrats to my cousin. (see the Eric Hirshberg link on the right? Same guy..click it..buy a cd)
And while I'm at it, let me tell you about the other links on this page.
First is Porqchop, a friend, poker buddy and fellow blogger. Great blog, highly entertaining and sometimes and more disturbing.
Under that is Eric, click it, buy a cd...Oh I said that already.
Then my other cousin Glen, click it..Buy some books. Read 'em. Fantastic author, great guy.
No Splashin' is the new blog of another friend, more family friendly than this or Porqchop. Feel free to encourage more posts from the author.
Red Maverick Design is a graphic design company that my buddy V owns. Need some baseball cards for your kids soccer team? See him. How bout a poster of your favorite tee-ball player? That's the man to talk to.
There's a link to my favorite writer, Bill Simmons aka The Sports Guy He's basically what I aspire to be. Be like Mike? Nah, Be like Bill
There's also links to my Myspace page, some of my favorite YouTube clips, an old guestbook to some pages I had before blogging was popular, and two pages I had many moons ago that are still up.
March 26, 2007
Some Questions FromTheHirp
Went to Crown Center today (D’Bronx, yum) for lunch today and had a couple questions afterwards.
• Why do fortune cookies always say something positive? Seriously, at least once in a while shouldn’t it say something more realistic? Like, your wife is cheating on you. Your friends don’t really care for you. Your meal was made from neighborhood cats. Something other than how great we are would be great
• Second question. There was a sign outside D’Bronx, “Voted Best Pizza in Kansas City 2005.” Shouldn’t there be a limited time period on how long they can have that?
• I got a pack of Fruit Stripe gum, you know this gum. It’s only like, the best gum ever. I haven’t had it in years; the complaint was always that the flavor didn’t last. You’d think with the advances in gum technology, they would have figured out how to extend the flavor by now. Every other pack of gum brags about their long lasting flavor, Fruit Stripe continues to be the KU of gums. Good for one, maybe two rounds, then time to toss it.
But now I know what I want to do with my life. I want the job of determining how long a gums flavor lasts. Do they judge it on per chews, minutes or what? How do I get this gig? Personally, I think you gotta go by chews. There are so many different styles of gum chewing. You have the chomper, the bubble blowers, silent chewers who don’t really chew. Total bites is the most fair way to judge
• Why do fortune cookies always say something positive? Seriously, at least once in a while shouldn’t it say something more realistic? Like, your wife is cheating on you. Your friends don’t really care for you. Your meal was made from neighborhood cats. Something other than how great we are would be great
• Second question. There was a sign outside D’Bronx, “Voted Best Pizza in Kansas City 2005.” Shouldn’t there be a limited time period on how long they can have that?
• I got a pack of Fruit Stripe gum, you know this gum. It’s only like, the best gum ever. I haven’t had it in years; the complaint was always that the flavor didn’t last. You’d think with the advances in gum technology, they would have figured out how to extend the flavor by now. Every other pack of gum brags about their long lasting flavor, Fruit Stripe continues to be the KU of gums. Good for one, maybe two rounds, then time to toss it.
But now I know what I want to do with my life. I want the job of determining how long a gums flavor lasts. Do they judge it on per chews, minutes or what? How do I get this gig? Personally, I think you gotta go by chews. There are so many different styles of gum chewing. You have the chomper, the bubble blowers, silent chewers who don’t really chew. Total bites is the most fair way to judge
Bad Hirp
Back in my Lenscrapper days, my friend D and I used to pass the time by thinking of SNL-like skits. We had some pretty hilarious ideas, only we never wrote them down. So over the years, I’m afraid we’ve forgotten pretty much all of them. Well this weekend I was sitting and talking with a new friend, who told me a story about a friends mother making reference to her “one and only Sony,” a phrase I had never heard. In fact, it might be an original.
But that got the wheels spinning, so now I find myself wondering what would happen if the big tech companies jumped in the, um..toy business. What would they look like? What kind of names would they have? I probably shouldn’t post this, this is at times a family site. Ah, fuggetaboutit.
Sony: SelfPlayStation, aka SPS.
Apple: iGasm also probably the iGasm-mini, the 30 gig iGasm and iGasm video
Microsoft: XBoxxx would be pretty lame, and they usually use just totally bizarre names that make zero sense, like Vista. So forget XBoxxx, Panorama it is.
Nintendo: Can’t decide between Gamegirl, WEEEE, or DP
Palm: Palm Diver
Sprint: PCOYES. They would be late to the party of course, with many complaints about lack of service area.
Motorola: PLZR
Anyway, I’m pretty sure all this could make for a pretty good skit. If only Saturday Night Live still had those.
But that got the wheels spinning, so now I find myself wondering what would happen if the big tech companies jumped in the, um..toy business. What would they look like? What kind of names would they have? I probably shouldn’t post this, this is at times a family site. Ah, fuggetaboutit.
Sony: SelfPlayStation, aka SPS.
Apple: iGasm also probably the iGasm-mini, the 30 gig iGasm and iGasm video
Microsoft: XBoxxx would be pretty lame, and they usually use just totally bizarre names that make zero sense, like Vista. So forget XBoxxx, Panorama it is.
Nintendo: Can’t decide between Gamegirl, WEEEE, or DP
Palm: Palm Diver
Sprint: PCOYES. They would be late to the party of course, with many complaints about lack of service area.
Motorola: PLZR
Anyway, I’m pretty sure all this could make for a pretty good skit. If only Saturday Night Live still had those.
March 23, 2007
Hirphawks
It’s a good thing I’m not a believer in signs, or I might be a bit confused by KU right now. Let’s see, they are playing UCLA next. Truth is, before I went to KU that UCLA was my favorite college basketball team. A cousin I always looked up to went there, and at age 12 I went out to visit him was able to see the campus and Westwood. The Burger That Ate LA was on my best burger list for years after that. Then my freshman year, UCLA came to Lawrence as defending National Champions. KU trailed by 19 at the half, came back and won by 15. Till this day, the best game of any kind that I ever saw in person. For the game I purchased a PHUCK UCLA tee shirt for myself and my cousin, I still have the shirt. And I’ll be rocking it tomorrow afternoon. I kinda doubt he has his.
That same year I met the girl that became my first real serious relationship, where was she from? Santa Cruz, which happens to be right outside of San Jose. According to mapquest, Santa Cruz is 32 miles away from San Jose, and Kansas City is 40 miles away from Lawrence. How those two facts come into play, I haven’t a clue. If I believed in signs and all that, I might read something into it. Instead it just amuses me. Why do I notice these things if I don’t look for signs? Because I always look for patterns. I look for them in peoples behavior, in sports, in cards, in movies and music. Yeah, definitely look for patterns, definitely. And anyway, if these were actual signs, there’s no way to know what the hell they mean. KU will win, or they won’t. I’m pretty sure I have nothing to do with the outcome.
That same year I met the girl that became my first real serious relationship, where was she from? Santa Cruz, which happens to be right outside of San Jose. According to mapquest, Santa Cruz is 32 miles away from San Jose, and Kansas City is 40 miles away from Lawrence. How those two facts come into play, I haven’t a clue. If I believed in signs and all that, I might read something into it. Instead it just amuses me. Why do I notice these things if I don’t look for signs? Because I always look for patterns. I look for them in peoples behavior, in sports, in cards, in movies and music. Yeah, definitely look for patterns, definitely. And anyway, if these were actual signs, there’s no way to know what the hell they mean. KU will win, or they won’t. I’m pretty sure I have nothing to do with the outcome.
March 21, 2007
Rewind, Stop, Play, Fast Forward...
There’s this guy that works in my building that my friend and I have labeled as “tee shirt ponytail guy.” It isn’t the most original of nicknames, but every time we see him around, he has on a tee. Being that this is supposed to be “business casual” it entertains us that he puts the emphasis on casual. Well, today I was walking by a cube, and it’s normal to see iPods or other Mp3 players or even CD’s, yet this desk had something much better. It had a walkman. Like it was 1991 all over again, and on top of that, this walkman was in a leather case. Heaven forbid it get a scratch.
Later I walked by again, and guess whose desk this was? Yep, it was “tee shirt ponytail guy,” now known simply as “walkman.” Seriously, this was over an hour ago and I’m still completely entertained by this. I can’t help but wonder if he spends hours on end making the best mix tapes he can to help pass the time at work. Does he copy songs from CDs to tape, or does he use his dual cassette deck? I used to do that, it was a huge pain in the ass. That’s why we did it for girls, because the time and thought put into it was supposed to impress them.
Or maybe he stops at gas stations and mulls through the $1.99 tape bins, looking for a rare Credence release. Is he more of an Air Supply guy, or REO Speedwagon? Or is it Bob Seager 24/7? You think I’m just coming up with this crap for the blog, but no this is the shit that I actually think about. Ritalin is a helluva drug.
Later I walked by again, and guess whose desk this was? Yep, it was “tee shirt ponytail guy,” now known simply as “walkman.” Seriously, this was over an hour ago and I’m still completely entertained by this. I can’t help but wonder if he spends hours on end making the best mix tapes he can to help pass the time at work. Does he copy songs from CDs to tape, or does he use his dual cassette deck? I used to do that, it was a huge pain in the ass. That’s why we did it for girls, because the time and thought put into it was supposed to impress them.
Or maybe he stops at gas stations and mulls through the $1.99 tape bins, looking for a rare Credence release. Is he more of an Air Supply guy, or REO Speedwagon? Or is it Bob Seager 24/7? You think I’m just coming up with this crap for the blog, but no this is the shit that I actually think about. Ritalin is a helluva drug.
March 20, 2007
I Need to Stop..
Now I have some thoughts on relationships and friendships I gotta get off my chest. Hopefully you have friends and can relate to this. If you don’t well, stop reading and no I won’t be your friend. Anyway, be it that you’re married or single and dating, there comes a time that your friends enter the picture. So is it important that your friends like the one you dating or are married to? I think it is.
Chances are if you’re married, your friends were probably around before so this doesn’t totally apply. If you’re making new friends while married, their opinion of your spouse really doesn’t mean shit. It’s more important that they are liked by the spouse. But when it comes to dating, personally I really do care what my friends think. It’s not so much that I care if they can be friends or not, but if a friend really dislikes someone I’m interested in, I have to take their views into consideration. There must be something they see that I don’t, and it must be pretty serious if they’d actually feel the need to tell me.
Not saying it would guarantee that I end things, but I trust that my friends always have my best interests in mind. Same goes for when I’m the friend, and my friend is seeing someone I dislike. If it’s just something like we don’t get along, that’s not worth mentioning or anything. But if I genuinely dislike the person, get a bad vibe and see them from a perspective my friend can’t, well I feel it’s my duty to tell them. More so with female friends, I think guys are usually more protective of their female friends. If it’s a guy, this might be sexist, but I’m just not as worried about him getting heart broken.
So how far do you take it? Just let them know that you think they’re dating a jackass? Do you tell them exactly why? With women, I think this is a double edged sword. They want you to watch out for them, but then that whole Romeo and Juliet complex comes into play. Tell a girl that she and a guy aren’t good for each other, and she starts feeling that “us against the world” and that it’s more romantic than dating someone who is accepted by friends and family. I’m pretty sure this is one of my sisters’ biggest problems. She always went after complete losers, and I always let her know.
Really, I’m not some sexiest pig who thinks every woman is stupid. Actually, I pretty much think that a man is the root cause of every stupid thing women do. Like the Rome and Juliet complex, all cause a dude wrote a play. Shakespeare knew what he was doing. He wrote that to impress a girl who was being told to stay away from him. Seriously, everything women do that annoy men are done because of how stupid men are.
Society has always made women feel they need to please men, and I can’t say I totally mind. I appreciate how they dress for us and everything else they do, but the dumb shit. Well, that’s not just on them. The majority of women I know, feel or felt that they’re supposed to get married. That getting married increased the level of happiness in their lives. I really believe that women in general, view getting married as a goal they need to accomplish. While men typically feel it’s something their supposed to do, more of a chore.
Anyway, I totally got off subject there. Back to the original thought about friends’ opinions mattering or not. I wouldn’t date someone just because my friends think I should, nor would I break up just for that reason. But I wouldn’t disregard their input right away. For me, the toughest part is knowing when to butt out and let them make, what I consider, a pretty big mistake. If you have real friends that you trust, all they want is what’s best for you. And if they’re willing to put their neck on the line, it’d be silly to ignore them. It’s like ignoring a lifeguard who tells you theirs strong rip tides, or ignoring one of my movie reviews.
See, told you yesterday I had some random shit on my mind. Would have posted all this yesterday, but I had a date with a few naps. Yeah, we’ve been seeing each other for a while. I really think it’s going to work out. Just don’t tell me to stop with the naps, you don’t know them like I do.
Chances are if you’re married, your friends were probably around before so this doesn’t totally apply. If you’re making new friends while married, their opinion of your spouse really doesn’t mean shit. It’s more important that they are liked by the spouse. But when it comes to dating, personally I really do care what my friends think. It’s not so much that I care if they can be friends or not, but if a friend really dislikes someone I’m interested in, I have to take their views into consideration. There must be something they see that I don’t, and it must be pretty serious if they’d actually feel the need to tell me.
Not saying it would guarantee that I end things, but I trust that my friends always have my best interests in mind. Same goes for when I’m the friend, and my friend is seeing someone I dislike. If it’s just something like we don’t get along, that’s not worth mentioning or anything. But if I genuinely dislike the person, get a bad vibe and see them from a perspective my friend can’t, well I feel it’s my duty to tell them. More so with female friends, I think guys are usually more protective of their female friends. If it’s a guy, this might be sexist, but I’m just not as worried about him getting heart broken.
So how far do you take it? Just let them know that you think they’re dating a jackass? Do you tell them exactly why? With women, I think this is a double edged sword. They want you to watch out for them, but then that whole Romeo and Juliet complex comes into play. Tell a girl that she and a guy aren’t good for each other, and she starts feeling that “us against the world” and that it’s more romantic than dating someone who is accepted by friends and family. I’m pretty sure this is one of my sisters’ biggest problems. She always went after complete losers, and I always let her know.
Really, I’m not some sexiest pig who thinks every woman is stupid. Actually, I pretty much think that a man is the root cause of every stupid thing women do. Like the Rome and Juliet complex, all cause a dude wrote a play. Shakespeare knew what he was doing. He wrote that to impress a girl who was being told to stay away from him. Seriously, everything women do that annoy men are done because of how stupid men are.
Society has always made women feel they need to please men, and I can’t say I totally mind. I appreciate how they dress for us and everything else they do, but the dumb shit. Well, that’s not just on them. The majority of women I know, feel or felt that they’re supposed to get married. That getting married increased the level of happiness in their lives. I really believe that women in general, view getting married as a goal they need to accomplish. While men typically feel it’s something their supposed to do, more of a chore.
Anyway, I totally got off subject there. Back to the original thought about friends’ opinions mattering or not. I wouldn’t date someone just because my friends think I should, nor would I break up just for that reason. But I wouldn’t disregard their input right away. For me, the toughest part is knowing when to butt out and let them make, what I consider, a pretty big mistake. If you have real friends that you trust, all they want is what’s best for you. And if they’re willing to put their neck on the line, it’d be silly to ignore them. It’s like ignoring a lifeguard who tells you theirs strong rip tides, or ignoring one of my movie reviews.
See, told you yesterday I had some random shit on my mind. Would have posted all this yesterday, but I had a date with a few naps. Yeah, we’ve been seeing each other for a while. I really think it’s going to work out. Just don’t tell me to stop with the naps, you don’t know them like I do.
Ramblings
With today being March 20th, I would like to re-direct you to an old post that I really believe is a must read. http://hirp-com.blogspot.com/2006/03/march-20th-approaches.html As today is anniversary of the Great JoCo CarJacking of ‘94! Forget that silly St. Patricks Day, this is a day worthy of a parade.
Looks like Terrance Howard might have the same agent as Cuba Gooding Jr. Howard turned in two fantastic, career making performances in Crash and Hustle & Flow and some how agreed to do Pride. Which looks like another Hard Ball or Mighty Ducks, and I haven’t seen either of those. But to go from Oscar nominated movies, to working with Bernie Mac AND Tom Arnold probably isn’t going to help him much. I read that Cuba thought America wanted to see him as the funny guy after Jerry Maguire, and that’s why he did Boat Trip and Rat Race. Truth is, he was never that good of an actor. He pretty much just played himself in Maguire.
And since I’m on Jerry Maguire, I have a bone to pick. Now I enjoyed the movie just like anyone else, engaging characters, memorable lines, a cute kid and very cute Renee Zellwegger. But the fact that this is looked at as a romantic comedy, well that baffles me. Seriously, women got it all wrong with this one. “He had me at hello,” or “you complete me” won every woman over. C’mon! That’s what is wrong with women today. They thought that was romantic, and it was complete bullshit. The only “romantic” aspect of this movie was Rod Tidwells’ relationship with his wife. The whole thing between Cruise and Renee is everything we do wrong in relationships.
You have the woman who is in love with, not the man, but her idea of what he could be. She falls for his smooth words, that talk a big game, but totally allows him to treat her like shit. And you have a guy who knows he has a great girl interested in him, so does what he feels is the “right thing.” There is ZERO romance there. They had nothing in common, except that they didn’t want to be alone. And what’s sad is, it’s true. Women eat that up. Too many times they fall in love with a guy for what they think he can be, not who he actually is. And guys fall for a girl cause they think they should. She’s cute, funny, and smart. What’s not to love?
Truth be told, the only love story in the movie is between Tom and Cuba. I’m pretty sure Tom wanted it that way too. He loves the black man.
Speaking of gay movies, over the weekend I saw 300 with some friends. Fun flick with lots of action, and love how they filmed it. This is saying a lot, because I almost always hate over-done special effects. But they made the effects more of an art, than a replacement for filming on location. So yes, I enjoyed it, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is the most homo-erotic movie ever filmed. Well, that I’ve seen anyway. 90% of the movie (yes, that’s fact, I kept track) is done in slow-mo. So you see buff, oddly hairless Greek men, running and fighting at the same speed we’re used to watching CJ Parker sprint into the water. These men continually express their love for each other, and willingness to die for one another.
And the King of the Persia might as well been Liberace. Dude had more jewelry than Mr. T, more piercings than Dennis Rodman (who actually would have been perfect for the role) more makeup than RuPaul, and longer nails than any woman I know. And what was his goal? Oh, just to make another man kneel in front of him. The only way you could get a gayer movie watching experience, would be to watch Brokeback with Tom Cruise while wearing a pink shirt and carrying a man bag. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Looks like Terrance Howard might have the same agent as Cuba Gooding Jr. Howard turned in two fantastic, career making performances in Crash and Hustle & Flow and some how agreed to do Pride. Which looks like another Hard Ball or Mighty Ducks, and I haven’t seen either of those. But to go from Oscar nominated movies, to working with Bernie Mac AND Tom Arnold probably isn’t going to help him much. I read that Cuba thought America wanted to see him as the funny guy after Jerry Maguire, and that’s why he did Boat Trip and Rat Race. Truth is, he was never that good of an actor. He pretty much just played himself in Maguire.
And since I’m on Jerry Maguire, I have a bone to pick. Now I enjoyed the movie just like anyone else, engaging characters, memorable lines, a cute kid and very cute Renee Zellwegger. But the fact that this is looked at as a romantic comedy, well that baffles me. Seriously, women got it all wrong with this one. “He had me at hello,” or “you complete me” won every woman over. C’mon! That’s what is wrong with women today. They thought that was romantic, and it was complete bullshit. The only “romantic” aspect of this movie was Rod Tidwells’ relationship with his wife. The whole thing between Cruise and Renee is everything we do wrong in relationships.
You have the woman who is in love with, not the man, but her idea of what he could be. She falls for his smooth words, that talk a big game, but totally allows him to treat her like shit. And you have a guy who knows he has a great girl interested in him, so does what he feels is the “right thing.” There is ZERO romance there. They had nothing in common, except that they didn’t want to be alone. And what’s sad is, it’s true. Women eat that up. Too many times they fall in love with a guy for what they think he can be, not who he actually is. And guys fall for a girl cause they think they should. She’s cute, funny, and smart. What’s not to love?
Truth be told, the only love story in the movie is between Tom and Cuba. I’m pretty sure Tom wanted it that way too. He loves the black man.
Speaking of gay movies, over the weekend I saw 300 with some friends. Fun flick with lots of action, and love how they filmed it. This is saying a lot, because I almost always hate over-done special effects. But they made the effects more of an art, than a replacement for filming on location. So yes, I enjoyed it, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is the most homo-erotic movie ever filmed. Well, that I’ve seen anyway. 90% of the movie (yes, that’s fact, I kept track) is done in slow-mo. So you see buff, oddly hairless Greek men, running and fighting at the same speed we’re used to watching CJ Parker sprint into the water. These men continually express their love for each other, and willingness to die for one another.
And the King of the Persia might as well been Liberace. Dude had more jewelry than Mr. T, more piercings than Dennis Rodman (who actually would have been perfect for the role) more makeup than RuPaul, and longer nails than any woman I know. And what was his goal? Oh, just to make another man kneel in front of him. The only way you could get a gayer movie watching experience, would be to watch Brokeback with Tom Cruise while wearing a pink shirt and carrying a man bag. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
March 19, 2007
Kevin and Cloning
Long weekend, and I have some completely random ideas in my head that I want to cover. First order of business is Kevin Durant. Don’t worry for you non-sport fans, the other topics aren’t sports related.
The kid and his Longhorns were shown an early exit from the NCAA Tournament, so I was wrong about that. The good news is he is saying all the things that make it sound like he is at least still considering returning to Austin next year. He said something along the lines of “trying for a 4.0” “thinks this team has a lot of work to do next season” and “I want to win a National Championship.” Now those aren’t the sound bites of a guy who has already made up his mind to go pro, and you can’t really take everything he says literally, but it’s nice to see that he’s at least considering staying. Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN radio, made the very interesting point that coming to school for one season helps a kid make more money. In Durant’s shoes (Nike, I think) had he gone pro after high school, he would have made a few million in the NBA this season. But now that we know who he is, and most of America loves him, he’ll make so much more in endorsements. Now, they also made the point that coming back for another year won’t benefit him at all. He’s already the #1, maybe #2 pick. He can’t possibly get any better press or a better NBA contract since they have limits on what a rookie can sign for.
But he still sounds like a kid that might come back. And that spells bad news for KU, but great news for college hoops. Kevin, please come back.
***********************
Next order of business, cloning.
This weekend some friends and I got into a very engaging, and fun debate concerning the cloning of pets. And I’ve had some more time to consider my stance on this, and luckily I have this forum to get it out there. Plus if they read it, they have to read it all before responding and I can make sure to get the last word. I like that, sorry, I just do.
My belief is just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we necessarily should. It’s great that we can clone, it’s truly remarkable. But should we? No, I don’t think we should. First, I don’t understand why you’d want to. This one friend said he would clone his dog so he could have a replacement when his current mutt kicks it. Well, I understand that it sucks to lose a pet, but cloning it doesn’t give you your pet back. It gives you one that looks like your old dog. Cloning is very superficial, you don’t get the memories or connection with the cloned animal. You just get one that looks like your old dog.
That’s just one reason I feel it’s a bad thing to do. Secondly, and maybe more importantly, it’s playing God. Funny that the agnostic kid doesn’t so much care for anyone playing God. There is a nature of order, what controls that we can debate, but I think we can all agree that there’s an order to life. You’re born, you do whatever, you die. It sucks, but that’s how it works. Sometimes we fight off death, sometimes for too long. And we create life, but not in a lab. Same goes with animals. Creating life is a crapshoot, much like living. You can do certain things to put yourself in a desireable position, but it’s still a crapshoot. Copying a life just isn’t right. And let me add this, I used to work at Kinkos, I learned this. No matter how great the copier, the paper and the technology, a copy is never the exact same as the original. This is why Kobe Bryant isn’t as good as Michael Jordan, and why Zach Braff will never be Tom Hanks.
The last reason I’m against it is this, the technology scares the shit out of me. I understand a lot of good can come from it. We could possibly grow spare body parts, find a cure for cancer and other diseases. That’s all great, but at what cost? At some point, someone has to draw the line. Do you draw the line at cloning animals and why? Who gets to decide? Chances are it would be politicians, and I don’t exactly trust their track record when it comes to deciding what’s morally right for the rest of us. Really, there’s a lot more money to be made in cloning people rather than preventing it, so I think we know which way they’d decide.
And as for the thought/hope that they could find a cure for cancer or other diseases, well don’t get me wrong. I definitely think we should continue to search and strive for those cures, but I’m not sure it should be done by any means necessary. Look, I know someone who just past away this weekend from cancer, and I mean no disrespect to their family. But people die, it sucks, but it has to happen. The whole idea behind cloning people, or pets, is to keep life going. Well, it isn’t supposed to. How would we know to appreciate anything if we knew there was no end? You know what else? Our times lack originals as it is, the last thing we need is carbon copies of people. Even me, shit, especially another me.
The kid and his Longhorns were shown an early exit from the NCAA Tournament, so I was wrong about that. The good news is he is saying all the things that make it sound like he is at least still considering returning to Austin next year. He said something along the lines of “trying for a 4.0” “thinks this team has a lot of work to do next season” and “I want to win a National Championship.” Now those aren’t the sound bites of a guy who has already made up his mind to go pro, and you can’t really take everything he says literally, but it’s nice to see that he’s at least considering staying. Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN radio, made the very interesting point that coming to school for one season helps a kid make more money. In Durant’s shoes (Nike, I think) had he gone pro after high school, he would have made a few million in the NBA this season. But now that we know who he is, and most of America loves him, he’ll make so much more in endorsements. Now, they also made the point that coming back for another year won’t benefit him at all. He’s already the #1, maybe #2 pick. He can’t possibly get any better press or a better NBA contract since they have limits on what a rookie can sign for.
But he still sounds like a kid that might come back. And that spells bad news for KU, but great news for college hoops. Kevin, please come back.
***********************
Next order of business, cloning.
This weekend some friends and I got into a very engaging, and fun debate concerning the cloning of pets. And I’ve had some more time to consider my stance on this, and luckily I have this forum to get it out there. Plus if they read it, they have to read it all before responding and I can make sure to get the last word. I like that, sorry, I just do.
My belief is just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we necessarily should. It’s great that we can clone, it’s truly remarkable. But should we? No, I don’t think we should. First, I don’t understand why you’d want to. This one friend said he would clone his dog so he could have a replacement when his current mutt kicks it. Well, I understand that it sucks to lose a pet, but cloning it doesn’t give you your pet back. It gives you one that looks like your old dog. Cloning is very superficial, you don’t get the memories or connection with the cloned animal. You just get one that looks like your old dog.
That’s just one reason I feel it’s a bad thing to do. Secondly, and maybe more importantly, it’s playing God. Funny that the agnostic kid doesn’t so much care for anyone playing God. There is a nature of order, what controls that we can debate, but I think we can all agree that there’s an order to life. You’re born, you do whatever, you die. It sucks, but that’s how it works. Sometimes we fight off death, sometimes for too long. And we create life, but not in a lab. Same goes with animals. Creating life is a crapshoot, much like living. You can do certain things to put yourself in a desireable position, but it’s still a crapshoot. Copying a life just isn’t right. And let me add this, I used to work at Kinkos, I learned this. No matter how great the copier, the paper and the technology, a copy is never the exact same as the original. This is why Kobe Bryant isn’t as good as Michael Jordan, and why Zach Braff will never be Tom Hanks.
The last reason I’m against it is this, the technology scares the shit out of me. I understand a lot of good can come from it. We could possibly grow spare body parts, find a cure for cancer and other diseases. That’s all great, but at what cost? At some point, someone has to draw the line. Do you draw the line at cloning animals and why? Who gets to decide? Chances are it would be politicians, and I don’t exactly trust their track record when it comes to deciding what’s morally right for the rest of us. Really, there’s a lot more money to be made in cloning people rather than preventing it, so I think we know which way they’d decide.
And as for the thought/hope that they could find a cure for cancer or other diseases, well don’t get me wrong. I definitely think we should continue to search and strive for those cures, but I’m not sure it should be done by any means necessary. Look, I know someone who just past away this weekend from cancer, and I mean no disrespect to their family. But people die, it sucks, but it has to happen. The whole idea behind cloning people, or pets, is to keep life going. Well, it isn’t supposed to. How would we know to appreciate anything if we knew there was no end? You know what else? Our times lack originals as it is, the last thing we need is carbon copies of people. Even me, shit, especially another me.
March 15, 2007
Hirpisms
In an attempt to remain an informed member of society, I like to watch shows other than sitcoms and dramas. Last night I caught a few minutes of Glen Beck and a few minutes of Larry King, both shows were talking about the monsters that molest children. Seems there’s a new proposed law to give all convicted sexual predators different color license plates to help identify them.
Well, I applaud the fact that lawmakers are thinking out of the box, but this is just dumb. These guys often claim victim after victim for years without getting caught, they aren’t stupid criminals who are sticking up 7 Eleven with a highlighter in their coat pocket. I’m pretty sure they can get around having a green license plate. This wouldn’t keep them from committing more crimes, if anything it would just end with them being victims.
Tell me, if you’re going down the highway and you come up behind a car with green plates, and you know it’s some child molester behind the wheel, can’t you see yourself wanting to run them off the road? Now maybe that should happen, maybe they deserve that. But then why have a legal system? (Although our fine President has given us more reasons of late to ask that question)
I tell ya, I used to be adamantly against capital punishment. So I don’t know if I’m just fed up, or if it has something to do with getting older and even more cynical, but after hearing the details recently about the piece of shit that molested a little girl and then buried her alive, well my first reaction was kill him. Before I always felt that hey, if someone commits a crime against your family, and you feel they should die for it. Then do it yourself, and face the consequences. That story changed my thinking. That guy should be buried alive with a rusty knife jammed down his pee hole.
*********************
Anyone else find it mighty odd that the 9/11 mastermind just decided to confess to the Government how he had planned 31 attacks, on the heels of two pretty big White House scandals? What, we’re supposed to believe he just felt like opening up? Interesting timing, that’s all I’m saying. Not that it could be part of a “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” or anything.
*********************
And since today kicks off March Madness, let it be known. I picked the Hawks. Three weeks ago I thought it would be Carolina, but I got the Hawks now. Rock Chalk!
Well, I applaud the fact that lawmakers are thinking out of the box, but this is just dumb. These guys often claim victim after victim for years without getting caught, they aren’t stupid criminals who are sticking up 7 Eleven with a highlighter in their coat pocket. I’m pretty sure they can get around having a green license plate. This wouldn’t keep them from committing more crimes, if anything it would just end with them being victims.
Tell me, if you’re going down the highway and you come up behind a car with green plates, and you know it’s some child molester behind the wheel, can’t you see yourself wanting to run them off the road? Now maybe that should happen, maybe they deserve that. But then why have a legal system? (Although our fine President has given us more reasons of late to ask that question)
I tell ya, I used to be adamantly against capital punishment. So I don’t know if I’m just fed up, or if it has something to do with getting older and even more cynical, but after hearing the details recently about the piece of shit that molested a little girl and then buried her alive, well my first reaction was kill him. Before I always felt that hey, if someone commits a crime against your family, and you feel they should die for it. Then do it yourself, and face the consequences. That story changed my thinking. That guy should be buried alive with a rusty knife jammed down his pee hole.
*********************
Anyone else find it mighty odd that the 9/11 mastermind just decided to confess to the Government how he had planned 31 attacks, on the heels of two pretty big White House scandals? What, we’re supposed to believe he just felt like opening up? Interesting timing, that’s all I’m saying. Not that it could be part of a “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” or anything.
*********************
And since today kicks off March Madness, let it be known. I picked the Hawks. Three weeks ago I thought it would be Carolina, but I got the Hawks now. Rock Chalk!
March 14, 2007
Idiotisms
Back a few months ago I talked a little about some phrases/idioms that bugged me, http://hirp-com.blogspot.com/2006/09/another-post-about-vegas.html and I have some more to add to the list.
They are all pretty common, but as part of my research I went to GoEnglish.com just to make sure I worded them correctly. Plus it was a lot easier than racking my brain trying to think of as many as possible.
When it rains, it pours- That’s not even true. Sometimes it’s a light mist, sometime’s it’s a drizzle.
Can’t cut the mustard- What? Did someone try and cut mustard? Let’s say someone did, should we really be using phrases they coined? Not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box.
Beating a dead horse- I guess it’s better to beat a live one? Really, if you’re talking to a big enough piece of shit that you think they beat animals, isn’t it better that they beat one that’s already dead? I know, it really means not to keep talking about an issue when it’s clearly not going anywhere. But I believed in that, I wouldn’t have a blog.
Crying over spilled milk- Is there a beverage that I can cry over it being spilled? Why single out milk? It does a body good, you know.
Get up on the wrong side of the bed- Well then damnit, they need to label the bed. And whoever gets stuck sleeping on the wrong side is just screwed.
All Greek to me- I just wonder what they say in Greece.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush- What?? How did hillbillies get so much input in our vernacular?
And there’s obviously a serious foot/leg theme in these, someone has a fetish: head over heels, best foot forward, on your last leg, finding your feet, off on the wrong foot, pulling your leg, foot in mouth, shake a leg, brake a leg, leg up. Kinda weird.
Here’s one that’s kind of popular among sport fans, “so and so couldn’t carry other dudes jock.” Why would they want to? What would that prove, and do I really need to know if they can? There are some serious homosexual undertones in sports. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
They are all pretty common, but as part of my research I went to GoEnglish.com just to make sure I worded them correctly. Plus it was a lot easier than racking my brain trying to think of as many as possible.
When it rains, it pours- That’s not even true. Sometimes it’s a light mist, sometime’s it’s a drizzle.
Can’t cut the mustard- What? Did someone try and cut mustard? Let’s say someone did, should we really be using phrases they coined? Not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box.
Beating a dead horse- I guess it’s better to beat a live one? Really, if you’re talking to a big enough piece of shit that you think they beat animals, isn’t it better that they beat one that’s already dead? I know, it really means not to keep talking about an issue when it’s clearly not going anywhere. But I believed in that, I wouldn’t have a blog.
Crying over spilled milk- Is there a beverage that I can cry over it being spilled? Why single out milk? It does a body good, you know.
Get up on the wrong side of the bed- Well then damnit, they need to label the bed. And whoever gets stuck sleeping on the wrong side is just screwed.
All Greek to me- I just wonder what they say in Greece.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush- What?? How did hillbillies get so much input in our vernacular?
And there’s obviously a serious foot/leg theme in these, someone has a fetish: head over heels, best foot forward, on your last leg, finding your feet, off on the wrong foot, pulling your leg, foot in mouth, shake a leg, brake a leg, leg up. Kinda weird.
Here’s one that’s kind of popular among sport fans, “so and so couldn’t carry other dudes jock.” Why would they want to? What would that prove, and do I really need to know if they can? There are some serious homosexual undertones in sports. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Press Skip
Video didn’t kill the radio star, and neither did illegal downloads. What did it? The CD. No, I mean it. Well, it wasn’t really the CD as much as it was the skip button. Once every listener had the power to bounce around an album from the comfort of their couch with that remote, the artist was fighting an uphill battle. Sure you could fast forward a cassette, but you always went just a little to far and ended up a few seconds into the song. Then tried to rewind it back to the beginning, and you went too far. And before that, you had to get up and walk over to the turntable, lift the needle and place it at the start of your song.
Musicians, and more so record companies, were screwed once the CD player was in every house, car and backpack in America. Singles were always important, going back to when 45s came out,. The market wasn’t saturated as it was in the early 90’s, but there wasn’t someone new release that was hyped by a label coming out every other Tuesday. MTV changed things, a video could make or break someone. If you had a good song and video, you could move units. But once someone had the CD, all that mattered were the singles. The songs they know is what the average listener cares about, and with a CD they could skip from familiar song to familiar song.
And that’s what killed the album and screwed up music. Fans learned the popular songs, but didn’t spend as much time listening to the rest of the CD. It used to be, at least this is how I picture it, that someone bought an album because a single sucked them in. Then they listened to the rest of it, and that’s where they found the songs they could relate too more personally. Today, I’d say 9 out of 10 times my favorite song on a CD wasn’t released as a single. But after everyone became so used to just playing their favorite songs thanks to that handy skip button, it was only natural to download one or two songs.
But shit, I’m even boring myself with this now. It all sounded so much better in my head, but I’ve written too much to just scrap it. So you’ll suffer through reading it, sorry. Basically, it's like this: CD's have done to music what blogs have done to reading. It's real easy to move on to something else now. As you may have already done.
Musicians, and more so record companies, were screwed once the CD player was in every house, car and backpack in America. Singles were always important, going back to when 45s came out,. The market wasn’t saturated as it was in the early 90’s, but there wasn’t someone new release that was hyped by a label coming out every other Tuesday. MTV changed things, a video could make or break someone. If you had a good song and video, you could move units. But once someone had the CD, all that mattered were the singles. The songs they know is what the average listener cares about, and with a CD they could skip from familiar song to familiar song.
And that’s what killed the album and screwed up music. Fans learned the popular songs, but didn’t spend as much time listening to the rest of the CD. It used to be, at least this is how I picture it, that someone bought an album because a single sucked them in. Then they listened to the rest of it, and that’s where they found the songs they could relate too more personally. Today, I’d say 9 out of 10 times my favorite song on a CD wasn’t released as a single. But after everyone became so used to just playing their favorite songs thanks to that handy skip button, it was only natural to download one or two songs.
But shit, I’m even boring myself with this now. It all sounded so much better in my head, but I’ve written too much to just scrap it. So you’ll suffer through reading it, sorry. Basically, it's like this: CD's have done to music what blogs have done to reading. It's real easy to move on to something else now. As you may have already done.
March 13, 2007
Hirpisms
• Maybe you heard that John Popper, of Blues Traveler, was arrested. He was caught going 111mph, and in the car he had weed, four rifles, nine handguns, a Taser and night vision goggles in his car. I’m thinking maybe marijuana contributed slightly to him having such an arsenal. Call me crazy, but I think he might be a tad bid paranoid to be driving around with all that. I love that he had night vision goggles in the car. Does he think he’s a Navy SEAL?
• So Stallone got caught with steroids. Gee, who woulda thunked it? I don’t know about you, but I sure didn’t see that coming AT ALL. Next we’re going to find out that Britney has fake boobs or the Pussycat Dolls lip-sync. I’m willing to bet that there are more actors taking steroids than there are actresses with implants. Gotta check with my bookie and see if he’ll take that action.
• A sorority was kicked off of the campus of Depauw for, get this, accusations that only attractive and popular students were asked to remain after they punted two dozen members. Um, attractive and popular students, in a sorority? No freakin’ way! I know I wasn’t in school long, but it sounds like times sure have changed. C’mon! This is just dumb. Girls want to be in the most popular sororities with the reputation for having the best looking girls. So it was okay if they passed on ugly girls to start off with, but it’s wrong now that they upped their standards?
• So Stallone got caught with steroids. Gee, who woulda thunked it? I don’t know about you, but I sure didn’t see that coming AT ALL. Next we’re going to find out that Britney has fake boobs or the Pussycat Dolls lip-sync. I’m willing to bet that there are more actors taking steroids than there are actresses with implants. Gotta check with my bookie and see if he’ll take that action.
• A sorority was kicked off of the campus of Depauw for, get this, accusations that only attractive and popular students were asked to remain after they punted two dozen members. Um, attractive and popular students, in a sorority? No freakin’ way! I know I wasn’t in school long, but it sounds like times sure have changed. C’mon! This is just dumb. Girls want to be in the most popular sororities with the reputation for having the best looking girls. So it was okay if they passed on ugly girls to start off with, but it’s wrong now that they upped their standards?
March 12, 2007
Raised the Bar..Now Clear It
Yesterday I watched KU-Texas II, couldn’t have had asked for a better game. Seriously, the fact that it was their second meeting in just over a week only made it better. The way the Hawks won, gives me a ton of confidence going into the NCAA tourney. I see no reason why we shouldn’t win the whole damn thing. Actually, looking at the brackets I do see one. And it’s Texas. I’ve told some friends for a while now that I thought the Longhorns were Final Four bound. It’s the exact type of team than can run the table. And KU fans know this. How? We lost to a similar team in Syracuse a few years ago.
Take one dominating player, with a very good point guard and the right role players, and you have the ingredients for a title run. I really don’t want to see them a third time, and that’s odd because I’ve loved both games. I just don’t see how we can beat them three times in a row. Seriously, I hope Durant stays just so we can keep watching him. Missouri and Kansas State like to pretend we’re rivals, and we have some memorable games with them. But Texas, with Durant, really puts us to the test. We won two great games, and we HAD to play great. The close games with KSU or MU are as much a byproduct of them stepping up cause beating us means so much, and Kansas not playing great. These games were much closer to being Duke-Carolina-esque.
Back to KU, I LOVE that Brandon Rush publicly said he wanted to guard Durant. He gives up a good 4” and did a fantastic job when he guarded him. We got clutch shots from no less than four players. And even though Durant dropped 37 on us, we actually did a great job against him. Which means he’s good. Really fucking good. Anything short of the Final Four is a huge disappointment, I expect a title now.
Take one dominating player, with a very good point guard and the right role players, and you have the ingredients for a title run. I really don’t want to see them a third time, and that’s odd because I’ve loved both games. I just don’t see how we can beat them three times in a row. Seriously, I hope Durant stays just so we can keep watching him. Missouri and Kansas State like to pretend we’re rivals, and we have some memorable games with them. But Texas, with Durant, really puts us to the test. We won two great games, and we HAD to play great. The close games with KSU or MU are as much a byproduct of them stepping up cause beating us means so much, and Kansas not playing great. These games were much closer to being Duke-Carolina-esque.
Back to KU, I LOVE that Brandon Rush publicly said he wanted to guard Durant. He gives up a good 4” and did a fantastic job when he guarded him. We got clutch shots from no less than four players. And even though Durant dropped 37 on us, we actually did a great job against him. Which means he’s good. Really fucking good. Anything short of the Final Four is a huge disappointment, I expect a title now.
Regrets
This weekend I was having a conversation with a friend about regret, and they had this clever philosophy that gave me ammo for a post. It goes, “you shouldn’t regret anything, because at some point that is exactly what you wanted.”
Well, I call bullshit on that. You should absolutely have regrets. Trying to ignore it or give your self some pass on regret is just an attempt at to excuse what you did. Just like any other emotion, you should experience it fully. It’s not that regret should rule your life or haunt you forever, but if you don’t regret anything, then the fear of regret is also gone. It’s a license to do whatever you please without consequences.
Regret and fear is what separates us from socio-paths. Personally, I regret more things that I did not do rather than things I have done. Mainly because I know before I do something what the chances are that I might regret it. The phrase itself reminds me of another, “careful what you ask for cause you just might get it.” There have been many things I wanted to do, but because I knew in the long run, I chose not to. According to this, it doesn’t matter if it was wrong, it’s what I wanted at some point.
Just because you wanted something, and were able to obtain it, doesn’t mean it was the right choice. Instant gratification is usually what you want just for that instant, that’s kind of why they call it instant gratification. Now there is a definite difference between regretting something and just doing something and learning from the experience. Go out with a girl you meet at the methadone clinic, that’s something you’re more likely to regret. Going out with a girl who has a Nascar bumper sticker..wait, sorry, no that’s a regret too. But going out with a girl and you catch her cheating on to you is more an experience you should learn from.
Driving drunk is something you should regret, getting caught should be the learning experience. Going to K-State is something you should regret, picking them to win something should be the learning experience. Chasing a one out flush to the river is a learning experience, emptying your bank account to fund a trip to Vegas is something you should regret. Or the best decision you ever made, that’s kind of a slippery slope.
Regret should be felt just as you should feel anger, jealously, sadness, happiness, or any other emotion Dr. Phil or your wife wants to talk about. And this “no regret” philosophy seems pretty popular, and I think that’s un-forgivable. I’m not ashamed of the things I regret. Mostly, I regret not finishing school. Aside from that, there isn’t much. But that’s because I effin' hate regret.
"You used to hold me, told me that I was the best
Anything in this world I want I could posess
All that made me want is all that I could get
In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets..."
-Jay Z “Regrets”
Well, I call bullshit on that. You should absolutely have regrets. Trying to ignore it or give your self some pass on regret is just an attempt at to excuse what you did. Just like any other emotion, you should experience it fully. It’s not that regret should rule your life or haunt you forever, but if you don’t regret anything, then the fear of regret is also gone. It’s a license to do whatever you please without consequences.
Regret and fear is what separates us from socio-paths. Personally, I regret more things that I did not do rather than things I have done. Mainly because I know before I do something what the chances are that I might regret it. The phrase itself reminds me of another, “careful what you ask for cause you just might get it.” There have been many things I wanted to do, but because I knew in the long run, I chose not to. According to this, it doesn’t matter if it was wrong, it’s what I wanted at some point.
Just because you wanted something, and were able to obtain it, doesn’t mean it was the right choice. Instant gratification is usually what you want just for that instant, that’s kind of why they call it instant gratification. Now there is a definite difference between regretting something and just doing something and learning from the experience. Go out with a girl you meet at the methadone clinic, that’s something you’re more likely to regret. Going out with a girl who has a Nascar bumper sticker..wait, sorry, no that’s a regret too. But going out with a girl and you catch her cheating on to you is more an experience you should learn from.
Driving drunk is something you should regret, getting caught should be the learning experience. Going to K-State is something you should regret, picking them to win something should be the learning experience. Chasing a one out flush to the river is a learning experience, emptying your bank account to fund a trip to Vegas is something you should regret. Or the best decision you ever made, that’s kind of a slippery slope.
Regret should be felt just as you should feel anger, jealously, sadness, happiness, or any other emotion Dr. Phil or your wife wants to talk about. And this “no regret” philosophy seems pretty popular, and I think that’s un-forgivable. I’m not ashamed of the things I regret. Mostly, I regret not finishing school. Aside from that, there isn’t much. But that’s because I effin' hate regret.
"You used to hold me, told me that I was the best
Anything in this world I want I could posess
All that made me want is all that I could get
In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets..."
-Jay Z “Regrets”
March 09, 2007
No Clever Title
Last night Porqchop and I ventured out to Olathe to see Black Snake Moan, and today I can say our record is intact. Every movie we’ve seen together has been good, some even great. An actual review is still brewing, so you’ll have to come back later for that. This here post (wow, after Departed I wanted to talk with a Boston accent and now I want to sound as if I’m from the south) has more to do with choices actors make. Bad choices to be specific. Everyone’s favorite badass mother fucker, Samuel Jackson, was fantastic again. Jackson just needs some help picking roles, maybe more than any other actor in Hollywood. He’s one of those guys who can’t seem to turn down offers. How else can you explain, The Man, xXx, Swat, Formula 51 or Deep Blue Sea.
So let’s cover the talented actors we all like, who just can’t seem to find an Ari Gold to help them out. And I won’t be moved on these:
Kevin Spacey: American Beauty, Seven, Usual Suspects, L.A. Confidential, K-Pax and Pay it Forward. Ouch, two huge mistakes. To his credit though, he’s actually been spending his time working in theatre.
Robert De Niro: I hate saying it, up till 2000 he looked like the greatest of all-time and never picked the wrong role. Then came Rocky and Bullwinkle, suddenly there was 15 Minutes, Showtime, Analyze That and Meet The Fockers. Please get back on track. It’s like watching Jordan on the Wizards.
Al Pacino: Perhaps he and De Niro made a pact, come turn of the Century, they thought it’d be fun to just whore themselves out. This was Michael Corleone, he never should have considered Any Given Sunday, S1m0ne, and he should never be forgiven for Gigli. Hopefully Oceans 13 can turn it around.
Denzel Washington: One of my favorite actors, but the dude takes so many similar roles that it’s hard to keep them in order. John Q, Remember the Titans, Out of Time, Manchurian Candidate and Déjà vu are all the same guy.
Ben Stiller: The rest of the “Frat Pack” has been golden, he did Envy, Duplex, The Fockers and watched Steve Carell take his career away from him.
But if I had to give out one award, it would go to Nic Cage. He’s made an art of picking horrible roles and movies to be a part of. Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas, Lord of War, World Trade Center and Matchstick Men are some pretty respectable highs. Agreeing to do Ghost Rider, Wicker Man, Windtalkers, Family Man, Gone in 60 Seconds, City of Angels, Con Air and his other Jerry Bruckheimer movies make me think this guy can’t say no.
So let’s cover the talented actors we all like, who just can’t seem to find an Ari Gold to help them out. And I won’t be moved on these:
Kevin Spacey: American Beauty, Seven, Usual Suspects, L.A. Confidential, K-Pax and Pay it Forward. Ouch, two huge mistakes. To his credit though, he’s actually been spending his time working in theatre.
Robert De Niro: I hate saying it, up till 2000 he looked like the greatest of all-time and never picked the wrong role. Then came Rocky and Bullwinkle, suddenly there was 15 Minutes, Showtime, Analyze That and Meet The Fockers. Please get back on track. It’s like watching Jordan on the Wizards.
Al Pacino: Perhaps he and De Niro made a pact, come turn of the Century, they thought it’d be fun to just whore themselves out. This was Michael Corleone, he never should have considered Any Given Sunday, S1m0ne, and he should never be forgiven for Gigli. Hopefully Oceans 13 can turn it around.
Denzel Washington: One of my favorite actors, but the dude takes so many similar roles that it’s hard to keep them in order. John Q, Remember the Titans, Out of Time, Manchurian Candidate and Déjà vu are all the same guy.
Ben Stiller: The rest of the “Frat Pack” has been golden, he did Envy, Duplex, The Fockers and watched Steve Carell take his career away from him.
But if I had to give out one award, it would go to Nic Cage. He’s made an art of picking horrible roles and movies to be a part of. Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas, Lord of War, World Trade Center and Matchstick Men are some pretty respectable highs. Agreeing to do Ghost Rider, Wicker Man, Windtalkers, Family Man, Gone in 60 Seconds, City of Angels, Con Air and his other Jerry Bruckheimer movies make me think this guy can’t say no.
March 08, 2007
Hirp Hop
Recently I had my “whiteness” brought to my attention. It was during a recent round of E-mail trash talk, where someone dropped the word “sup.” Wasn’t even me that said it, but next thing I know, I’m reading that such ebonix are expected from me and that my generation is desperately and sadly trying to identify with hip hop.
Well, big shocker here, but I happen to have some thoughts on that. It helps that just this week I was talking about watching “Bastards of the Party” and how throughout high school and even today I took an interest in gangs. In the past year plus that I’ve had this site I’ve talked a bit about hip hop as well. So maybe this mailer isn’t alone with his opinion.
So let me explain something. Yes, I’ve been into hip hop for a long time now. And back in high school, it was pretty much all I listened too. Yes, my jeans sagged a little then. No, I didn’t wear my hat backwards or crooked. I didn’t speak in ebonix, although some slang did come out. Some of my friends were black, and I’m pretty sure they still are. Some lived in less neighborhoods that were, um, less affluent than mine. It wasn’t a conscious decision to go out and be-friend them. I wasn’t the rich kid from the ‘burbs who thought, hey, I need some homies.
This was the early to mid 90’s. I liked well, the music for starters. The beats, and the lyrics. It was also the attitude and the bravado. Being pissed and challenging authority made more sense to me then whining about my life while wearing a flannel and not showering.
Hip hop in the early to mid 90’s wasn’t like it is today. It wasn’t all gangster raps and talk about Versace and diamonds. Sure, there were “gangsta” rappers like Tupac, Snoop and NWA. But the message then wasn’t the same as it is today. And there were more conscious rappers and groups. Boogie Down Productions, Ice Cube, Nas, Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul and Public Enemy meant more to me than Nirvana or Soundgarden. There was Ed OG and The Bulldogs, who released a song “Be a Father to Your Child” right around the time my first niece was born, and I had questions concerning her father. Sorry, the smell of Teen Spirit didn’t reach me.
My generation wasn’t the first to be attracted to “urban” or “black” music. What was Elvis doing listening to blues? What were all those white kids doing at Woodstock listening to Hendricks? Today hip hop has pretty much taken over the world. It’s everywhere. It’s in commercials, every day fashion, movies, even in the color of GM automobiles thanks to Jay-Z Blue.
As for my own “whiteness” well, yes my skin color is white. I’m fine with that, but like hip hop itself, I can cross over. I’ve received my ghetto pass from multiple sources. I’m good to go anywhere, be it in Kansas City all the way to Nairobi. I can have a conversation about lyrics with the biggest hip hop heads you can find, or I can discuss what makes Billy Joel so great. My iPod can go from John Mayer and follow it up with Kanye West, to Sinatra and then Tupac and it’s all me being me. That’s the textbook definition of keeping it real. Recognize bitches.
Well, big shocker here, but I happen to have some thoughts on that. It helps that just this week I was talking about watching “Bastards of the Party” and how throughout high school and even today I took an interest in gangs. In the past year plus that I’ve had this site I’ve talked a bit about hip hop as well. So maybe this mailer isn’t alone with his opinion.
So let me explain something. Yes, I’ve been into hip hop for a long time now. And back in high school, it was pretty much all I listened too. Yes, my jeans sagged a little then. No, I didn’t wear my hat backwards or crooked. I didn’t speak in ebonix, although some slang did come out. Some of my friends were black, and I’m pretty sure they still are. Some lived in less neighborhoods that were, um, less affluent than mine. It wasn’t a conscious decision to go out and be-friend them. I wasn’t the rich kid from the ‘burbs who thought, hey, I need some homies.
This was the early to mid 90’s. I liked well, the music for starters. The beats, and the lyrics. It was also the attitude and the bravado. Being pissed and challenging authority made more sense to me then whining about my life while wearing a flannel and not showering.
Hip hop in the early to mid 90’s wasn’t like it is today. It wasn’t all gangster raps and talk about Versace and diamonds. Sure, there were “gangsta” rappers like Tupac, Snoop and NWA. But the message then wasn’t the same as it is today. And there were more conscious rappers and groups. Boogie Down Productions, Ice Cube, Nas, Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul and Public Enemy meant more to me than Nirvana or Soundgarden. There was Ed OG and The Bulldogs, who released a song “Be a Father to Your Child” right around the time my first niece was born, and I had questions concerning her father. Sorry, the smell of Teen Spirit didn’t reach me.
My generation wasn’t the first to be attracted to “urban” or “black” music. What was Elvis doing listening to blues? What were all those white kids doing at Woodstock listening to Hendricks? Today hip hop has pretty much taken over the world. It’s everywhere. It’s in commercials, every day fashion, movies, even in the color of GM automobiles thanks to Jay-Z Blue.
As for my own “whiteness” well, yes my skin color is white. I’m fine with that, but like hip hop itself, I can cross over. I’ve received my ghetto pass from multiple sources. I’m good to go anywhere, be it in Kansas City all the way to Nairobi. I can have a conversation about lyrics with the biggest hip hop heads you can find, or I can discuss what makes Billy Joel so great. My iPod can go from John Mayer and follow it up with Kanye West, to Sinatra and then Tupac and it’s all me being me. That’s the textbook definition of keeping it real. Recognize bitches.
March 07, 2007
Family Affair
So my uncle, he went to Ohio State. A cousin of mine, well he’s UCLA alumni. Now, look at the most recent college basketball Top 25 poll, it’s Ohio State, KU, and UCLA as 1,2,3. What does this mean? It means March Madness started early for the Hirp family. The emails have already started.
See, the cousin that’s UCLA alum, well he was born and raised in Michigan and is a lifelong Michigan fan. Where as his older brother is loyal to their father, and cheers for Ohio State. So come football season the three of them meet up, with an uncle from their mother’s side, in either Ann Arbor or Columbus for the annual game in that great rivalry. They get to swap heated emails, talking all sorts of shit. And I’ve been a bit envious of that, and with this I’m knee deep in the middle of it. It’s fantastic. As many of you know, I tend to enjoy talking trash via emails, and this situation is no exception.
And the tourney doesn’t even start till next weekend. Best case scenario, KU beats either Ohio State or UCLA in the Final Four, and then beats the other in the Finals. Worst case, all three schools get knocked out early. Good thing I’m not a betting man.
See, the cousin that’s UCLA alum, well he was born and raised in Michigan and is a lifelong Michigan fan. Where as his older brother is loyal to their father, and cheers for Ohio State. So come football season the three of them meet up, with an uncle from their mother’s side, in either Ann Arbor or Columbus for the annual game in that great rivalry. They get to swap heated emails, talking all sorts of shit. And I’ve been a bit envious of that, and with this I’m knee deep in the middle of it. It’s fantastic. As many of you know, I tend to enjoy talking trash via emails, and this situation is no exception.
And the tourney doesn’t even start till next weekend. Best case scenario, KU beats either Ohio State or UCLA in the Final Four, and then beats the other in the Finals. Worst case, all three schools get knocked out early. Good thing I’m not a betting man.
March 06, 2007
Torture
There may not be a torture worse than waking up before your alarm goes off, well not counting torture that includes harm to your testicles. I think I’d rather have my finger nails ripped off. Actually, this is what I thought when I woke up. I’m already thinking about changing my mind on this. I forgot my iPod today, and I’ve been working for maybe 15 minutes. It’s going to be a long day. Maybe I should stop posting anything regarding religion or God? Stupid karma, I hate you.
So I’m going to make another list, it’s been a while since I went High Fidelity on here. Those little almost common events that happen in life that feel like straight up torture:
• Waking up before the alarm, you’re stuck between trying to fall back asleep for another five minutes or watching the clock tick town till you hear that awful noise.
• A fogotten iPod, cell phone, wallet or keys.
• Long red lights, never hit them when you aren’t in a rush and if you look around no one else seems to mind the extended delay.
• Missed calls from when your phone never rang, made even worse when you don’t get the voicemail notification for another hour or so.
• A TV show ending cut off by DVR, most likely you’re just missing “scenes from next week” but, I still like seeing that. And if I’m going to skip watching it, I prefer it be my choice.
• When the coverage of game you want to watch on ESPN is delayed because the previous game went into overtime.
• The person in a meeting or a class, who has to ask a million questions and keeps everyone late. Typically it’s already been covered, and it doesn’t really matter because no one else is even paying attention. Everyone is looking at their watches, trying to get organized so they can do the quick pack up and leave move. And the questions never seem to stop.
So I’m going to make another list, it’s been a while since I went High Fidelity on here. Those little almost common events that happen in life that feel like straight up torture:
• Waking up before the alarm, you’re stuck between trying to fall back asleep for another five minutes or watching the clock tick town till you hear that awful noise.
• A fogotten iPod, cell phone, wallet or keys.
• Long red lights, never hit them when you aren’t in a rush and if you look around no one else seems to mind the extended delay.
• Missed calls from when your phone never rang, made even worse when you don’t get the voicemail notification for another hour or so.
• A TV show ending cut off by DVR, most likely you’re just missing “scenes from next week” but, I still like seeing that. And if I’m going to skip watching it, I prefer it be my choice.
• When the coverage of game you want to watch on ESPN is delayed because the previous game went into overtime.
• The person in a meeting or a class, who has to ask a million questions and keeps everyone late. Typically it’s already been covered, and it doesn’t really matter because no one else is even paying attention. Everyone is looking at their watches, trying to get organized so they can do the quick pack up and leave move. And the questions never seem to stop.
March 05, 2007
Hirpisms
Remember when I said that the Geico Gecco should get it’s on movie back in January? Well, if you don’t here’s the proof: http://hirp-com.blogspot.com/2007/01/next-big-star.html. Turns out, their Caveman characters are actually going to be filming a pilot for ABC. Should be interesting, but I swear to God they are taking the wrong character. http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=253853>1=7703.
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Over the weekend I watched an HBO special, “Bastards of the Party,” an interesting documentary about the history of gangs in LA. Directed and featuring Cle “Bones” Sloan, who you saw in Training Day as the leader of the Bloods in the project where Denzel Washington character had an apartment. Basically, he was playing an earlier version of himself. Now he’s still a member of the Bloods, but working to change gangs from the inside. Seriously, the man is a hero. And the film is chilling and worth watching.
In high school, and to some extent today, I was almost as fascinated with gangs as I am with the Mafia. I’m telling you, you didn’t want to mess with this badass Hebrew in JoCo.
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Watched the KU-Texas game over the weekend, and Kevin Durant shouldn’t be legal. He's the best freshman I’ve ever seen. Better than Shaq, Webber, Carmelo, Kenny Anderson or Chris Jackson. He’s the most dominating college player we’ve seen since Shaq. He can score from anywhere, block shots, rebound and he has plenty of room to get stronger. For KU sake I hope he turns pro, but I’d love to see him stay.
I miss the days when guys stayed in school for four years, and not just because I wish I had. There was a time, I admit, that I kind of cheered for some guys to turn pro early so that we could see what kind of careers they would have. But think, if LeBron James had gone to Ohio State, right now we’d see the Buckeyes with a senior in LeBron and a freshman in Greg Oden. And Texas, which is in Austin, have I mentioned how much I like Austin? Oh, well Texas would have LaMarcus Aldridge, D.J Augustin and Kevin Durant on the same team. And back in the late 90’s, we could have seen a Duke team with Elton Brand, Trajan Langdon, Shane Battier and some guy named Kobe. And maybe Kobe would have had a nice little rivalry with Vince Carter for two years. That just may have been a pretty good team. Have I mentioned how much I love the “what if” game? Big fan, BIG fan.
Now I also need to mention that I think this would have improved the NBA by leaps and bounds. Players would have more discipline, discipline that they can’t get when you give a 19 year old a few million bucks and no one to keep them in line off the court. Fans would have had more time to get to know players. We’d see rivals grow, as we did with Bird-Magic. And that’s probably not the best example, since Magic went pro early too. Yet most importantly, these guys might have worked on some fundamentals a little more. Perhaps we’d see more players that can actually make a free throw or an open jump shot in the NBA.
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Over the weekend I watched an HBO special, “Bastards of the Party,” an interesting documentary about the history of gangs in LA. Directed and featuring Cle “Bones” Sloan, who you saw in Training Day as the leader of the Bloods in the project where Denzel Washington character had an apartment. Basically, he was playing an earlier version of himself. Now he’s still a member of the Bloods, but working to change gangs from the inside. Seriously, the man is a hero. And the film is chilling and worth watching.
In high school, and to some extent today, I was almost as fascinated with gangs as I am with the Mafia. I’m telling you, you didn’t want to mess with this badass Hebrew in JoCo.
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Watched the KU-Texas game over the weekend, and Kevin Durant shouldn’t be legal. He's the best freshman I’ve ever seen. Better than Shaq, Webber, Carmelo, Kenny Anderson or Chris Jackson. He’s the most dominating college player we’ve seen since Shaq. He can score from anywhere, block shots, rebound and he has plenty of room to get stronger. For KU sake I hope he turns pro, but I’d love to see him stay.
I miss the days when guys stayed in school for four years, and not just because I wish I had. There was a time, I admit, that I kind of cheered for some guys to turn pro early so that we could see what kind of careers they would have. But think, if LeBron James had gone to Ohio State, right now we’d see the Buckeyes with a senior in LeBron and a freshman in Greg Oden. And Texas, which is in Austin, have I mentioned how much I like Austin? Oh, well Texas would have LaMarcus Aldridge, D.J Augustin and Kevin Durant on the same team. And back in the late 90’s, we could have seen a Duke team with Elton Brand, Trajan Langdon, Shane Battier and some guy named Kobe. And maybe Kobe would have had a nice little rivalry with Vince Carter for two years. That just may have been a pretty good team. Have I mentioned how much I love the “what if” game? Big fan, BIG fan.
Now I also need to mention that I think this would have improved the NBA by leaps and bounds. Players would have more discipline, discipline that they can’t get when you give a 19 year old a few million bucks and no one to keep them in line off the court. Fans would have had more time to get to know players. We’d see rivals grow, as we did with Bird-Magic. And that’s probably not the best example, since Magic went pro early too. Yet most importantly, these guys might have worked on some fundamentals a little more. Perhaps we’d see more players that can actually make a free throw or an open jump shot in the NBA.
March 02, 2007
Hooray for Hirpywood
It almost seems like Hollywood has made a conscience decision, which by itself proves two previous theories. One, Hollywood has a conscience and two, the intelligence to make decisions. But lately, I’m seeing more movies come out and more previews for movies that actually look worth seeing. This weekend we get another movie from David Fincher, the director of Seven and Fight Club. Zodiac, with an impressive cast of Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr and Brian Cox, takes us back to the 60’s and 70’s when a serial killer tormented the Bay Area.
I’m pumped for this flick. It has all the right ingredients for a must-buy. And I love stories about serial killers. Be it on A&E, CourTV or a movie, I just eat this shit up. Plus, I can’t say enough about this cast. Its big names, yet some of the most underrated actors out there. Jake is a more talented Tobey Maguire. Mark Ruffalo is part Edward Norton, part Paul Rudd. He just takes good roles, and does a good job every time out. Well, I did skip 13 Going on 30, so most of the time he picks good movies. Robert Downey Jr., well he has made a comeback even MJ could be proud of.
Also hitting theatres this weekend is Black Snake Moan, which looks like we’re getting the good Samuel L. Jackson, and not the guy who says yes to every offer. And a suddenly hot Christina Ricci, in what looks like a pretty original flick, at least for the mainstream. I’m sure Porqchop has a few in his collection that have a sexy half naked white woman chained up, but you won’t find those at Blockbuster.
I’m pumped for this flick. It has all the right ingredients for a must-buy. And I love stories about serial killers. Be it on A&E, CourTV or a movie, I just eat this shit up. Plus, I can’t say enough about this cast. Its big names, yet some of the most underrated actors out there. Jake is a more talented Tobey Maguire. Mark Ruffalo is part Edward Norton, part Paul Rudd. He just takes good roles, and does a good job every time out. Well, I did skip 13 Going on 30, so most of the time he picks good movies. Robert Downey Jr., well he has made a comeback even MJ could be proud of.
Also hitting theatres this weekend is Black Snake Moan, which looks like we’re getting the good Samuel L. Jackson, and not the guy who says yes to every offer. And a suddenly hot Christina Ricci, in what looks like a pretty original flick, at least for the mainstream. I’m sure Porqchop has a few in his collection that have a sexy half naked white woman chained up, but you won’t find those at Blockbuster.
February 27, 2007
Hirptroversy
I got a bad feeling about this. Last night I was watching some CNN as they talked to scholars and other experts regarding the claims I mentioned in yesterdays post. I see some serious backlash to this. I think we’re going to hear how this was a conspiracy by the “Jewish run media” to try and disprove Christianity. Seriously, this is going to get ugly. Call me a prophet, because I see the future; this isn’t going to go well. Of course, I know this because it was discussed in our monthly publication that details exactly how we control the media and Hollywood. It’s the year 2007, you’d think my people would have a website rather than an actual newsletter. (I’m kidding, there’s no newsletter) But in all seriousness, I think this is going to get pretty ugly with lots of bigotry and ignorance.
So I guess this week is when I get into all sorts of controversial issues, it’s really not a plan to piss off my 9 readers. But it might happen anyway. Sunday night I was channel surfing and came across Fox News (still not sure how they can use that name, shouldn’t it be Fox Propaganda) as they were rallying against Hollywood. Being Oscar night, they decided to guess at how Hollywood would cast the White House and all the big parts. It was, oh so clever.
So, I thought I’d flip it. I’ll flip it for real, ya know. How would movies look if the White House wrote the screen plays and cast the stars. So let’s see what I come up with:
• The Passion of the Christ II: Christ Strikes Back, Mel Gibson single handedly takes on those that crucified Jesus.
• The Departed II, all illegal aliens face the same fate as Leo, Matt and Jack.
• A Really Convenient Truth, where weapons of mass destruction are found and the world now loves President Bush, who is played chillingly by Ben Stein.
• Bush: Cultural Learnings of America Make Benefit For American Controlled World
• Rambo 9, Sly Stallone takes on North Korea
• Dream Girls, a group of women who sing yet still also their place in the home. Starring Greta Van Susteren, Ann Coulter and former American Idol Carrie Underwood
• Arabs on a Plane. Bruce Willis faces a plane full of venomous Arabs, and of course kills them all.
And lastly, last night I caught a speech by Minister Louis Farrakhan on C-Span. He spoke about uniting Jews, Muslims and Christians. He also spoke about how he loves this country, that rappers are the new leaders and they need a better message and that the Democrats should impeach Bush and his entire cabinet and let Speaker of the House Pelosi take over the Presidency or at the very least censure the President. And this all proved me right, because if there were signs, the end of the world would be days away.
So I guess this week is when I get into all sorts of controversial issues, it’s really not a plan to piss off my 9 readers. But it might happen anyway. Sunday night I was channel surfing and came across Fox News (still not sure how they can use that name, shouldn’t it be Fox Propaganda) as they were rallying against Hollywood. Being Oscar night, they decided to guess at how Hollywood would cast the White House and all the big parts. It was, oh so clever.
So, I thought I’d flip it. I’ll flip it for real, ya know. How would movies look if the White House wrote the screen plays and cast the stars. So let’s see what I come up with:
• The Passion of the Christ II: Christ Strikes Back, Mel Gibson single handedly takes on those that crucified Jesus.
• The Departed II, all illegal aliens face the same fate as Leo, Matt and Jack.
• A Really Convenient Truth, where weapons of mass destruction are found and the world now loves President Bush, who is played chillingly by Ben Stein.
• Bush: Cultural Learnings of America Make Benefit For American Controlled World
• Rambo 9, Sly Stallone takes on North Korea
• Dream Girls, a group of women who sing yet still also their place in the home. Starring Greta Van Susteren, Ann Coulter and former American Idol Carrie Underwood
• Arabs on a Plane. Bruce Willis faces a plane full of venomous Arabs, and of course kills them all.
And lastly, last night I caught a speech by Minister Louis Farrakhan on C-Span. He spoke about uniting Jews, Muslims and Christians. He also spoke about how he loves this country, that rappers are the new leaders and they need a better message and that the Democrats should impeach Bush and his entire cabinet and let Speaker of the House Pelosi take over the Presidency or at the very least censure the President. And this all proved me right, because if there were signs, the end of the world would be days away.
February 26, 2007
Might Cause Some Trouble
Today the big story actually has nothing to do with Britney Spears or Anna-Nicole Smith. That very fact itself is newsworthy. The story is that there’s a James Cameron documentary hitting the Discovery Channel on March 4th, in which they examine if archeologists found two stone ossuaries that some say may have contained the remains of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. (Off topic real quick, if Jesus were around today, and dating, would his relationship get one of those cool TomKat or Bradjolina type names? Maybe JesuSpears? Although I’m sure he’d have better taste, but if anyone needs saving….)
Anyway, I really don’t have much on this. Except that I was reading a story about it, in which biblical scholar, Stephen Phann from the University of the Holy Land in Jerusalem (wonder what their mascot is?) said, “How possible is it? On a scale of one through 10 -- 10 being completely possible -- it's probably a one, maybe a one and a half."
Now, I wonder if you use the same scale, what are the odds that there’s actually a God and that he had a son? DNA is used in courtrooms across the globe to prove, or disprove someones guilt or innocence. Shouldn’t the fact that Jesus probably doesn’t have any DNA from his pops, change how much credibility we give DNA testing?
For the record, this isn’t cause I’m some anti-Christian Jew who doesn’t believe that Jesus is the son of God. The truth is I’m an agnostic-Jew who really doubts any of that stuff is true, but I do see the value in the idea of God. And hey, some of my best friends are Christians. But I also have an idea that the Mets will win the World Series this year, it’s an idea that I hold and enjoy. I don’t necessarily think the whole world should agree with me, or they are wrong if they disagree. I just hope they are proven wrong. Just listen to what Chris Rock said in Dogma.
“It bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism. But especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it. I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant.”
Anyway, I really don’t have much on this. Except that I was reading a story about it, in which biblical scholar, Stephen Phann from the University of the Holy Land in Jerusalem (wonder what their mascot is?) said, “How possible is it? On a scale of one through 10 -- 10 being completely possible -- it's probably a one, maybe a one and a half."
Now, I wonder if you use the same scale, what are the odds that there’s actually a God and that he had a son? DNA is used in courtrooms across the globe to prove, or disprove someones guilt or innocence. Shouldn’t the fact that Jesus probably doesn’t have any DNA from his pops, change how much credibility we give DNA testing?
For the record, this isn’t cause I’m some anti-Christian Jew who doesn’t believe that Jesus is the son of God. The truth is I’m an agnostic-Jew who really doubts any of that stuff is true, but I do see the value in the idea of God. And hey, some of my best friends are Christians. But I also have an idea that the Mets will win the World Series this year, it’s an idea that I hold and enjoy. I don’t necessarily think the whole world should agree with me, or they are wrong if they disagree. I just hope they are proven wrong. Just listen to what Chris Rock said in Dogma.
“It bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism. But especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it. I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant.”
February 22, 2007
Slow Hirp Day
Slight spoiler alert.
I was doing a little catch up and watching my Monday Night shows last night. Those shows being: “Studio 60,” “Two and a Half Men,” “How I Met Your Mother,” and this new “Rules of Engagement.” That, along with “What about Brian,” is my Monday rotation. Anyway, there aren’t any really great sitcoms on television today. There’s no “Seinfeld” or “Friends.” But there are a few solid to very good shows, the best being “2 and ½” and the much underrated “How I Met.”
“Rules” is this new David Spade show, also starring the guy that played Puddy from “Seinfeld” fame. It’s watch-able, but far from spectacular. Anyway, this past weeks episode centered around one couple, that is recently engaged, and how they were fighting on what to do with items acquired while with previous boyfriends/girlfriends. There was a bed, a chair, a cleverly used spatchula, and other useless items. Not a bad premise at all, but strangely it was nearly identical to the premise from this weeks “How I Met Your Mother.”
So, how do two shows that air on the same night and same network, have the same idea? Shouldn’t there be someone that kind of looks out for this sort of thing? Like when Armageddon was coming out around the same time as Deep Impact, that was overkill. But that came from two different studios at least. It’s just as lame as the fact that this season NBC put out two shows, “Studio 60” and “30 Rock” that are both based on being behind the scenes at a SNL type show.
I know it’s popular in Hollywood to recycle ideas, but shouldn’t someone else be done using it before it’s actually recycled? Or does this all just mean I take my entertainment a little too seriously?
I was doing a little catch up and watching my Monday Night shows last night. Those shows being: “Studio 60,” “Two and a Half Men,” “How I Met Your Mother,” and this new “Rules of Engagement.” That, along with “What about Brian,” is my Monday rotation. Anyway, there aren’t any really great sitcoms on television today. There’s no “Seinfeld” or “Friends.” But there are a few solid to very good shows, the best being “2 and ½” and the much underrated “How I Met.”
“Rules” is this new David Spade show, also starring the guy that played Puddy from “Seinfeld” fame. It’s watch-able, but far from spectacular. Anyway, this past weeks episode centered around one couple, that is recently engaged, and how they were fighting on what to do with items acquired while with previous boyfriends/girlfriends. There was a bed, a chair, a cleverly used spatchula, and other useless items. Not a bad premise at all, but strangely it was nearly identical to the premise from this weeks “How I Met Your Mother.”
So, how do two shows that air on the same night and same network, have the same idea? Shouldn’t there be someone that kind of looks out for this sort of thing? Like when Armageddon was coming out around the same time as Deep Impact, that was overkill. But that came from two different studios at least. It’s just as lame as the fact that this season NBC put out two shows, “Studio 60” and “30 Rock” that are both based on being behind the scenes at a SNL type show.
I know it’s popular in Hollywood to recycle ideas, but shouldn’t someone else be done using it before it’s actually recycled? Or does this all just mean I take my entertainment a little too seriously?
February 19, 2007
Brit
If Anna-Nicole Smith’s life was a train wreck, what does that make Britney Spears’? In the last week she checked herself into rehab, checked out less than 24 hours later, shaved her head and got two tattoos. And to top it all off, she went to the Valley. It was wacky and strange when she was getting marrying white trash and chomping gum, but now it’s crossed over to truly disturbing and borderline scary.
I flipped on the television this morning as I was getting ready for work; I wanted to know what the story was with all the sirens that woke me up that were followed by multiple helicopters flying near my apartment. And all I could find was everyone was talking about her shaving her head. They were interviewing psychologists and hair stylists for their take on what’s going on with Britney. But it took a caller on a radio station to actually make sense. It’s postpartum. Someone call Tom Cruise.
It’s actually not even that funny anymore. After seeing Anna-Nicole die, I actually wondered who would go next; Britney, Lindsay or Paris. I really don’t know what is about these girls. They’re all kind of trying to replace Michael Jackson. They’ve had too much, too soon, never had a childhood and haven’t a clue of how to act or even survive. And there’s no one who can set them straight. This won’t end well. So if Anna-Nicole was a train wreck, Britney must be a Space Shuttle tragedy. The entire voyage has been caught on tape, and we’ll analyze every second of the flight for years go come.
I flipped on the television this morning as I was getting ready for work; I wanted to know what the story was with all the sirens that woke me up that were followed by multiple helicopters flying near my apartment. And all I could find was everyone was talking about her shaving her head. They were interviewing psychologists and hair stylists for their take on what’s going on with Britney. But it took a caller on a radio station to actually make sense. It’s postpartum. Someone call Tom Cruise.
It’s actually not even that funny anymore. After seeing Anna-Nicole die, I actually wondered who would go next; Britney, Lindsay or Paris. I really don’t know what is about these girls. They’re all kind of trying to replace Michael Jackson. They’ve had too much, too soon, never had a childhood and haven’t a clue of how to act or even survive. And there’s no one who can set them straight. This won’t end well. So if Anna-Nicole was a train wreck, Britney must be a Space Shuttle tragedy. The entire voyage has been caught on tape, and we’ll analyze every second of the flight for years go come.
February 15, 2007
Smoked
I forgot to mention something about Austin, a little fact that really did contribute to making our night out there so much fun. It’s fairly common, completely logical and of course something not done in Kansas City. I’m talking about smoke-free restaurants and bars. It’s the standard in New York, Los Angeles and even near by Lawrence. But of course, KC is behind the times on this as well. I hear smokers say how they have to smoke when they drink, and that’s a load of crap. Know how I know? There are smokers in New York, LA and Austin and they still make it out to eat and have a cocktail.
I’m pretty anti-smoking, just because it’s dumb, but I understand it’s a choice and I don’t think it’s right to legally tell people they can’t. But that doesn’t mean their choice should affect my life. Here, if I go out, I know I’ll come home smelling like an ashtray. I don’t enjoy that, it’s pretty disgusting. It’s not my disgusting habit, so I find it very rude. What if I just decided not to cover my mouth when I sneeze, and start spraying all the smokers? Hey, it’s a disgusting rude habit but, I gotta sneeze ya know. Tell me how they react when I cover them in snot. Probably prefer I wouldn’t do that.
Bar owners and restaurant owners in KC say how banning smoking will hurt their business, that’s bullshit. People will go out, I don’t think you’ll see a jump in Law & Order ratings when everyone decides they’ll stay home and smoke a pack while watching TV since they can’t smoke in a bar. People like to smoke when they drink, because in a bar everyone is smoking. Imagine if no one was. Wow, you could go out have a couple drinks and not have to smell it on your sheets for the next week. Go smoke-free, your patrons will be happier, as will your staff. There won’t be butts all over your floors, burn marks on chairs, or the stench. If it can work in college towns like Austin and Lawrence, and in every high school, I’d bet my life it can work in Kansas City.
Couple other things that bug me about smoking, and smokers. First, how come they always put the non-smoking section in the back of a restaurant? The point is I don’t want to be near it, but they’ll make you walk through a cloud of smoke to get to your table. And in many cases, there’s nothing separating the sections. Is the smoke supposed to know where to stop?
Another thing that baffles me about smokers, how they’ll “bum one” from a complete stranger. You won’t hand the bum on the street your spare change, but you have no problem asking someone you’ve never met for one of their cigarettes and no problem passing one off to some jerk off you made fun of 30 seconds before? Also, how do so many smokers walk around without a lighter or matches? You know you smoke; it’s not news to you. And to smoke, you need a way to light the damn cancer stick. Yet it’s 50/50 weather or not you actually have one or the other with you. What if I just went up to a stranger and asked for a stick of gum, a sip of their beer or one wing? They’d say no. Ask for a cigarette, and they won’t mind that I interrupted their conversation. Don’t tell me smoking doesn’t affect the brain, that’s just friggin dumb. Either smoking helped dumb you down to the point you can’t remember a lighter, or being that dumb is why you started smoking. Either way, it puts you on par with Corky. Only you smell worse, and he can do it without Becca!
I’m pretty anti-smoking, just because it’s dumb, but I understand it’s a choice and I don’t think it’s right to legally tell people they can’t. But that doesn’t mean their choice should affect my life. Here, if I go out, I know I’ll come home smelling like an ashtray. I don’t enjoy that, it’s pretty disgusting. It’s not my disgusting habit, so I find it very rude. What if I just decided not to cover my mouth when I sneeze, and start spraying all the smokers? Hey, it’s a disgusting rude habit but, I gotta sneeze ya know. Tell me how they react when I cover them in snot. Probably prefer I wouldn’t do that.
Bar owners and restaurant owners in KC say how banning smoking will hurt their business, that’s bullshit. People will go out, I don’t think you’ll see a jump in Law & Order ratings when everyone decides they’ll stay home and smoke a pack while watching TV since they can’t smoke in a bar. People like to smoke when they drink, because in a bar everyone is smoking. Imagine if no one was. Wow, you could go out have a couple drinks and not have to smell it on your sheets for the next week. Go smoke-free, your patrons will be happier, as will your staff. There won’t be butts all over your floors, burn marks on chairs, or the stench. If it can work in college towns like Austin and Lawrence, and in every high school, I’d bet my life it can work in Kansas City.
Couple other things that bug me about smoking, and smokers. First, how come they always put the non-smoking section in the back of a restaurant? The point is I don’t want to be near it, but they’ll make you walk through a cloud of smoke to get to your table. And in many cases, there’s nothing separating the sections. Is the smoke supposed to know where to stop?
Another thing that baffles me about smokers, how they’ll “bum one” from a complete stranger. You won’t hand the bum on the street your spare change, but you have no problem asking someone you’ve never met for one of their cigarettes and no problem passing one off to some jerk off you made fun of 30 seconds before? Also, how do so many smokers walk around without a lighter or matches? You know you smoke; it’s not news to you. And to smoke, you need a way to light the damn cancer stick. Yet it’s 50/50 weather or not you actually have one or the other with you. What if I just went up to a stranger and asked for a stick of gum, a sip of their beer or one wing? They’d say no. Ask for a cigarette, and they won’t mind that I interrupted their conversation. Don’t tell me smoking doesn’t affect the brain, that’s just friggin dumb. Either smoking helped dumb you down to the point you can’t remember a lighter, or being that dumb is why you started smoking. Either way, it puts you on par with Corky. Only you smell worse, and he can do it without Becca!
February 14, 2007
H-Day
What a dumb, pointless holiday. Seriously, it’s just dumb. And it isn’t because I’m a guy that I think this. I think women should hate this holiday more than us. Maybe not hate, but they should be upset or even offended by it. The single biggest complaint I hear from the women I know, is that men aren’t romantic enough. Well, I’ll argue that there is nothing romantic about Valentines Day.
My proof is in the Jennifer Aniston movie, The Break Up. She wants him to want to help do the dishes. The point isn’t if Vince Vaughn actually does help with the dishes, it is just his simple desire to help her out. And every woman agreed with her. But if he did it, just cause the calendars happen to say it’s Dishes Day, it wouldn’t be a sincere gesture. Much like Valentines Day. Nothing done today is “romantic,” it’s like drinking on St. Patrick’s Day, it’s just what you do because the calendar says it’s that day. It’s just a date to make guys do the things that women like, and if your dude doesn’t already do those things, he shouldn’t get points for doing them now.
A guy isn’t supposed to be reminded for weeks in advance to be romantic, and how unique is it when every other couple is doing something? I understand it’s a woman’s DNA to always like flowers, candy and the rest of it. Really, I get it. It’s like how guys will always like tits, beer and a ball game. So in that respect, Valentines Day is the female version of the Super Bowl. But then call it that. The Super Bowl is the one day where almost every one watches the game, men and women alike. But women don’t get credit for being sports fans on that day, and guys shouldn’t get credit for being romantic on Valentines Day.
Editors note* Wait, do I really need an editors note since this is all from the editor anyway? Moving on, this is really just a note for the women and the single ones at that. I’m not just bashing V-Day cause I’m some bitter, single guy. Not that I’m not bitter or single, but that isn’t my motivation. Also, I don’t need a day to tell me when to buy flowers. Just thought I’d put this out there. Do what you wish with the tidbit of info.
My proof is in the Jennifer Aniston movie, The Break Up. She wants him to want to help do the dishes. The point isn’t if Vince Vaughn actually does help with the dishes, it is just his simple desire to help her out. And every woman agreed with her. But if he did it, just cause the calendars happen to say it’s Dishes Day, it wouldn’t be a sincere gesture. Much like Valentines Day. Nothing done today is “romantic,” it’s like drinking on St. Patrick’s Day, it’s just what you do because the calendar says it’s that day. It’s just a date to make guys do the things that women like, and if your dude doesn’t already do those things, he shouldn’t get points for doing them now.
A guy isn’t supposed to be reminded for weeks in advance to be romantic, and how unique is it when every other couple is doing something? I understand it’s a woman’s DNA to always like flowers, candy and the rest of it. Really, I get it. It’s like how guys will always like tits, beer and a ball game. So in that respect, Valentines Day is the female version of the Super Bowl. But then call it that. The Super Bowl is the one day where almost every one watches the game, men and women alike. But women don’t get credit for being sports fans on that day, and guys shouldn’t get credit for being romantic on Valentines Day.
Editors note* Wait, do I really need an editors note since this is all from the editor anyway? Moving on, this is really just a note for the women and the single ones at that. I’m not just bashing V-Day cause I’m some bitter, single guy. Not that I’m not bitter or single, but that isn’t my motivation. Also, I don’t need a day to tell me when to buy flowers. Just thought I’d put this out there. Do what you wish with the tidbit of info.
February 12, 2007
Got Dict
We came, we saw, and we got Dict. I’m not allowed to give any of the gory details, but there won’t be any trips to New York in March for Pulp Diction. The trip wasn’t a total loss, the boys and I hit the town Friday night. Austin stepped up to the plate and delivered, even though we didn’t. Seriously, best way I can describe it is its like a mix between Lawrence and Chicago. A pretty substantial claim especially based off of one night and really just one area of town. But as much as I love Mass street, it’s 1996 Barry Bonds and 6th Street is 2001 Bonds.
I never had any desire to really come to Texas, but now I really think I’d put Austin on the short list of places I’d move to. I’ll get back to that later, now I gotta tell you about my favorite bar. Pete’s Dueling Pianos on 6th St. This place has everything you’re looking for in a bar. It had great music, friendly *and cute* staff, and the perfect crowd. College kids, bachelorette parties, drunk thirty-something’s who are getting over a heart breaking defeat, and drunk college girls. I can’t stress that enough, someone should start producing a DVD series that just follows drunk college girls around, it’d make a few bucks.
So Sunday afternoon, the three of us were dragging ass to say the least. Haven’t been that drunk in a long time, nor have I had that much fun in an even longer time. So we drove around Austin a bit and made our way to the UT campus. The campus is huge, but I couldn’t find Kevin Durant and wasn’t able to Kerrigan him to help out KU. Tell ya what I liked about Austin. I loved the architecture of both the buildings downtown and some of the homes in the surrounding area, great mix of old and new. There were murals on buildings, and un-like Kansas City, they weren’t advertising for something lame like UMKC basketball. It was just art. There were people outside for a reason. Like joggers by the river, and people just wondering the sidewalks. Bicycle drawn cabs, pizza joints all along 6th street serving what looked like decent pizza.
It has atmosphere and personality, something Kansas City is lacking severly. And personality goes a long way. For me to speak this highly of a city in Texas is remarkable to say the least. I don’t change my mind often, and I was ready to trade Texas to Mexico in exchange for Paz Vega. But now I’d actually consider moving. It’s not like I’m buying a 10 gallon hat and a belt buckle the size of a hubcap, buying a pick-up and mosing on down. Shit, I won’t even say “Ya’all,” but I’ll admit I was wrong. There is something worth while in Texas. And it’s not just Austin, I was impressed with San Antonio too. Again, only had one night there and didn’t get to see much but, I liked what I saw. We ate some good steaks at Landry’s on the River Walk. The fact that Kansas City hasn’t copied the River Walk is a mystery to me. It just seems like Kansas City doesn’t want to do anything to make itself a desire-able location. You don’t have to be Chicago, New York or Vegas to be a city people will actually choose to go visit.
All in all, it was a great a trip. Can’t say we aren’t disappointed that we aren’t headed to the next stage, but at least we gave it a shot. So we aren’t losers, we’re failures.
I never had any desire to really come to Texas, but now I really think I’d put Austin on the short list of places I’d move to. I’ll get back to that later, now I gotta tell you about my favorite bar. Pete’s Dueling Pianos on 6th St. This place has everything you’re looking for in a bar. It had great music, friendly *and cute* staff, and the perfect crowd. College kids, bachelorette parties, drunk thirty-something’s who are getting over a heart breaking defeat, and drunk college girls. I can’t stress that enough, someone should start producing a DVD series that just follows drunk college girls around, it’d make a few bucks.
So Sunday afternoon, the three of us were dragging ass to say the least. Haven’t been that drunk in a long time, nor have I had that much fun in an even longer time. So we drove around Austin a bit and made our way to the UT campus. The campus is huge, but I couldn’t find Kevin Durant and wasn’t able to Kerrigan him to help out KU. Tell ya what I liked about Austin. I loved the architecture of both the buildings downtown and some of the homes in the surrounding area, great mix of old and new. There were murals on buildings, and un-like Kansas City, they weren’t advertising for something lame like UMKC basketball. It was just art. There were people outside for a reason. Like joggers by the river, and people just wondering the sidewalks. Bicycle drawn cabs, pizza joints all along 6th street serving what looked like decent pizza.
It has atmosphere and personality, something Kansas City is lacking severly. And personality goes a long way. For me to speak this highly of a city in Texas is remarkable to say the least. I don’t change my mind often, and I was ready to trade Texas to Mexico in exchange for Paz Vega. But now I’d actually consider moving. It’s not like I’m buying a 10 gallon hat and a belt buckle the size of a hubcap, buying a pick-up and mosing on down. Shit, I won’t even say “Ya’all,” but I’ll admit I was wrong. There is something worth while in Texas. And it’s not just Austin, I was impressed with San Antonio too. Again, only had one night there and didn’t get to see much but, I liked what I saw. We ate some good steaks at Landry’s on the River Walk. The fact that Kansas City hasn’t copied the River Walk is a mystery to me. It just seems like Kansas City doesn’t want to do anything to make itself a desire-able location. You don’t have to be Chicago, New York or Vegas to be a city people will actually choose to go visit.
All in all, it was a great a trip. Can’t say we aren’t disappointed that we aren’t headed to the next stage, but at least we gave it a shot. So we aren’t losers, we’re failures.
February 09, 2007
WSOPC and...
“It’s go time,” in 24 hours the Entourage is headed down to Austin City Limits to take our shot at making it Big. We know that “only have disaster can we be resurrected.” Are we prepared? No, we know “we should have fuckin’ shotguns,” but sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck. First prize at the World Series of Pop Culture is $250,000 does it have my name on it? I don’t know. But, I’m gonna find out. Cause we’re men who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s the kind of men we are. (How many Pop Culture references did you count?)
Anyway, let’s move on to more pressing issues. And there really is one. Yesterday America lost a national treasure. Actually, we lost two. Anna-Nicole Smiths breasts passed away, and I think she did too. So, from every bad comes a good. But the devil himself asked the perfect question in response to this horrible news.
“Losing those enormous (even when skinny) fun bags is a national tragedy. Here is a question to ponder: If you were the mortician/coroner, would you still touch them after she has been dead a day? I think I would. But what about 2 days? 1 week? Just where would you draw the line?”
I think the ruling has to be two days; you gotta draw the line some where. I don’t know why, but two days just seems right. Anything past two days is just sleezy. Seriously, the body temperature drops like one degree an hour, I think that’s what I heard on CSI Miami. So after two days, the body would be just cold and then it’s like feeling up frozen foods. Which is fine when you’re 12, wait. Never mind.
There’s more to the story. As we all know, Anna Nicole recently became a mother. So this newborn baby, who lost his brother the same weekend he came in to the world, isn’t sure who his father is and now has lost his mother. Sounds tragic right? Wrong. The baby just hit the fucking lottery. Seriously, now he doesn’t have to get to know his psychotic freak of a mother, nor share the loot with his brother. It may sound cold, but it’s true.
This could be the first time a baby actually benefited from a parents death. This could totally change everyone’s take on abortion. Maybe now we’ll start giving the baby a choice. Really, this was the first ever 156th trimester abortion.
I hope Paris Hilton is paying attention, this is the woman (that’s using the term loosely, much like Anna Nicole herself) that paved the way for all the talent less, gold digging fame-chasing, pill popping, useless whores that some how find fame and fortune, whose simply by breathing prove evolution is a work in progress.
Now I don’t suspect that the Post Office will fly flags at half mast. It just wouldn’t be a fitting tribute to a pair whose sole purpose in life was to raise poles.
Anyway, let’s move on to more pressing issues. And there really is one. Yesterday America lost a national treasure. Actually, we lost two. Anna-Nicole Smiths breasts passed away, and I think she did too. So, from every bad comes a good. But the devil himself asked the perfect question in response to this horrible news.
“Losing those enormous (even when skinny) fun bags is a national tragedy. Here is a question to ponder: If you were the mortician/coroner, would you still touch them after she has been dead a day? I think I would. But what about 2 days? 1 week? Just where would you draw the line?”
I think the ruling has to be two days; you gotta draw the line some where. I don’t know why, but two days just seems right. Anything past two days is just sleezy. Seriously, the body temperature drops like one degree an hour, I think that’s what I heard on CSI Miami. So after two days, the body would be just cold and then it’s like feeling up frozen foods. Which is fine when you’re 12, wait. Never mind.
There’s more to the story. As we all know, Anna Nicole recently became a mother. So this newborn baby, who lost his brother the same weekend he came in to the world, isn’t sure who his father is and now has lost his mother. Sounds tragic right? Wrong. The baby just hit the fucking lottery. Seriously, now he doesn’t have to get to know his psychotic freak of a mother, nor share the loot with his brother. It may sound cold, but it’s true.
This could be the first time a baby actually benefited from a parents death. This could totally change everyone’s take on abortion. Maybe now we’ll start giving the baby a choice. Really, this was the first ever 156th trimester abortion.
I hope Paris Hilton is paying attention, this is the woman (that’s using the term loosely, much like Anna Nicole herself) that paved the way for all the talent less, gold digging fame-chasing, pill popping, useless whores that some how find fame and fortune, whose simply by breathing prove evolution is a work in progress.
Now I don’t suspect that the Post Office will fly flags at half mast. It just wouldn’t be a fitting tribute to a pair whose sole purpose in life was to raise poles.
February 01, 2007
More Departed?
I was making my daily website rounds yesterday when I came across some upsetting news. It isn’t earth shattering (yet) and it probably only matters to a few, but that’s who I write for. It seems as if there are talks for a sequel to The Departed. When I first read the article, it was like having my hand slammed in a door. It hurt, but not on that stomach-punch or kick to the nuts level.
Now, if you haven’t yet seen The Departed I’m telling you to stop reading now. Stop right now. Mark this post and come back to it after you’ve seen the movie, in fact you should probably just log off your computer, leave work and run to the movies. Can’t get a sitter? Call me, or just leave them some water and put all sharp objects out of reach. I don’t care. Do whatever you have to do just go see the movie already. Oh, and it’s coming out on video in two weeks.
There are a few glimmers of hope for this project. First, Scorsese is still involved and they want Robert De Niro to play a part. With De Niro and Scorsese it’s hard to go wrong. Now lets be honest De Niro, hasn’t exactly had the best track record of late. But this could be like Jordan’s famed “double nickel” game in the Garden. (For those that don’t know the story, Michael Jordan’s first comeback started off kind of slow and then he scored 55 against the Knicks in the most famous arena in the world)
Also, many don’t know this, but The Departed is actually a re-make of a Hong Kong film called Internal Affairs, and that was a trilogy. The first story I read, just mentioned a sequel, but I’ve done some research and they are actually talking sequel AND prequel. Could this end up as Scorsese’s Godfather? Well, we all know that they made one too many there. So personally, I’d rather just see a prequel. I don’t see how a sequel could really work. I mean, everyone is dead by the end of The Departed except for Mark Whalberg.
So last night I began thinking about how they could do this, and a prequel is all that made sense. Only I don’t see how you can bring back Matt Damon and Leo DiCaprio, at least not as major characters. So here is how I see it:
Taking place a few years before Damon and Leo are even in the police academy, Jack is running has his crew. But where as in The Departed we didn’t see that he had any competition, in the Hirp version of the prequel there’s another gangster in town. And the two factions don’t play nicely. Oh, this one just happens to be lead by Robert De Niro. Can you imagine a scene with De Niro and Nicholson? It’d be the biggest movie event since De Niro and Pacino.
Now Jack has what the Italians call a consiglierie, played by Brad Pitt who was originally casted in the first movie. It turns out this isn’t such a good thing for Jack. Pitt is actually working for De Niro (he couldn’t join Cosa Nostra because he isn’t 100% Italian) Well, when Jack finds out the shit hits the fan of course. He ends up getting a visit from the Feds who help him smoke out Pitt, as well as kill De Niro. Which leads to him owing the Feds a favor, and this is how he ends up in bed with them as we heard in The Departed. Also, the fact that he was infiltrated by a rival is what gives Jack the idea to put a mole in the police department.
I can still see Martin Sheen having a role, as well as Mark Whalberg. They’ve been on the case for a while. And maybe small roles for Leo and Matt, but I don’t really know if that’s necessary. I really think that a story along these lines could work, but I don’t see how a sequel could work. And to be honest I really rather they not make one. Just because a movie is both great, and makes a ton of money doesn’t mean they need to make a sequel. I think that’ll have to be its very own post some day.
Now, if you haven’t yet seen The Departed I’m telling you to stop reading now. Stop right now. Mark this post and come back to it after you’ve seen the movie, in fact you should probably just log off your computer, leave work and run to the movies. Can’t get a sitter? Call me, or just leave them some water and put all sharp objects out of reach. I don’t care. Do whatever you have to do just go see the movie already. Oh, and it’s coming out on video in two weeks.
There are a few glimmers of hope for this project. First, Scorsese is still involved and they want Robert De Niro to play a part. With De Niro and Scorsese it’s hard to go wrong. Now lets be honest De Niro, hasn’t exactly had the best track record of late. But this could be like Jordan’s famed “double nickel” game in the Garden. (For those that don’t know the story, Michael Jordan’s first comeback started off kind of slow and then he scored 55 against the Knicks in the most famous arena in the world)
Also, many don’t know this, but The Departed is actually a re-make of a Hong Kong film called Internal Affairs, and that was a trilogy. The first story I read, just mentioned a sequel, but I’ve done some research and they are actually talking sequel AND prequel. Could this end up as Scorsese’s Godfather? Well, we all know that they made one too many there. So personally, I’d rather just see a prequel. I don’t see how a sequel could really work. I mean, everyone is dead by the end of The Departed except for Mark Whalberg.
So last night I began thinking about how they could do this, and a prequel is all that made sense. Only I don’t see how you can bring back Matt Damon and Leo DiCaprio, at least not as major characters. So here is how I see it:
Taking place a few years before Damon and Leo are even in the police academy, Jack is running has his crew. But where as in The Departed we didn’t see that he had any competition, in the Hirp version of the prequel there’s another gangster in town. And the two factions don’t play nicely. Oh, this one just happens to be lead by Robert De Niro. Can you imagine a scene with De Niro and Nicholson? It’d be the biggest movie event since De Niro and Pacino.
Now Jack has what the Italians call a consiglierie, played by Brad Pitt who was originally casted in the first movie. It turns out this isn’t such a good thing for Jack. Pitt is actually working for De Niro (he couldn’t join Cosa Nostra because he isn’t 100% Italian) Well, when Jack finds out the shit hits the fan of course. He ends up getting a visit from the Feds who help him smoke out Pitt, as well as kill De Niro. Which leads to him owing the Feds a favor, and this is how he ends up in bed with them as we heard in The Departed. Also, the fact that he was infiltrated by a rival is what gives Jack the idea to put a mole in the police department.
I can still see Martin Sheen having a role, as well as Mark Whalberg. They’ve been on the case for a while. And maybe small roles for Leo and Matt, but I don’t really know if that’s necessary. I really think that a story along these lines could work, but I don’t see how a sequel could work. And to be honest I really rather they not make one. Just because a movie is both great, and makes a ton of money doesn’t mean they need to make a sequel. I think that’ll have to be its very own post some day.
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