July 24, 2005
Xbox Live Poker Standings
Current Standings of the World Championship Poker XBox Live Poker League For Addicts: Gavin 4 1st place finishes, 2 2nd place finishes and 1 3rd place finsih; Gregg 3 1st place finishes, 3 2nd place finishes and 1 3rd and Kendall with 2 2nd place finishes and 5 3rd place finishes.
July 21, 2005
Top 10 List
This is something that made its rounds via email a few years ago but, it always a fun read. Feel free to add your own.
n response to my old friend Mike V's Top 10 list, which was done so well, I have compiled my own such list. I'm not promising a top 10 list of things I love in the future but I'll see what I can do
10. Songs that download at different volumes. Nothing can screw up a good mix cd, I illegally made than one song unexpectingly going up a 20 decibils over the previous. Just to be followed by a song that comes in no louder than a whisper.
9. The two or three seconds after a phone call gets dropped on my cell. Its not so much the fact that the I was disconnected, its that few seconds I'm talking to myself without knowing that I am doing so. Nothing makes me feel more like an idiot. And really, I say two or three seconds but its probably closer to five or six, I just hate to think I talk to myself that long without realizing.
8. Jokes about my eating habits. Look, chances are if you're talking about my eating, you've known about it for sometime. And you understand its not going to change in the near future. I'd rather hear a string or short bald jokes. You can be curious and ask me about it, cause shit, I know its weird. But the "Pizza again Gregg?" line, might get someone shot. And I'm not kidding. Okay, so I am..no, not really.
7. Woohoo's and high fives. I've been a long time sports fan, I still see no reason to ever yell woohoo and give someone a high five. And I can admit, theres not much worse than someone real pumped, getting a high five from someone whose not so enthused or into the high five. And the woohoo? What is that? Anyone heard yelling it, should get a knee to the gut. If I ever run for office, that will be part of my campain.
6. Chief fans. I'm sorry, I really havent been able to figure out excatly what it is about them that drives me nuts. The fact that so many of them still wear Zubaz? No, thats not enough. I have to take part of the blame here. I believe part of stems from my moving here and not wanting to, so cheering against them was a way of showing the town what I thought of it. And now thats in me, and not going to change. But dont discount the Zubaz affect.
5. Those dumb bumper stickers of some kid peeing on a ford, dodge or chevy logo. I know its just HAS to eat up the execs at foreign car companies that their customers arent so clever. How can anyone have such strong feelings about other car companies?? What about poverty, education, any of the other 9 things on this list? There has to be something better to put your energy into. Maybe shopping for a new pair of Zubaz? Getting your mullet cut? Finding out if your wife is or isnt a distant cousin?
4. The genius infront of me at the grocery store who isnt ready to pay. What, are you suprised that the cashier wants money? Were you hoping today you'd be the millionth customer and get everything free. C'mon! You knew this was coming up. It may not be on the cute list of things to buy you put on your palm pilot. But its the only thing that was a given to happen. Think ahead.
3. It was a coin flip between 3 and 4. But #3 goes to those that cause traffic jams in KC. The ones that know they have to get over to the left lane to head north, yet think that if they just stay in right lane longer, they can cut infront of the other 437 cars.
[
2. People who come in for eye glasses right before we close the lab, and want them in an hour. All I can about this, I wont go into a resturant right before close. You dont even want to know.
1. The word Fiance. Drives me insane. Look, its still your damn boyfriend/girlfriend. I dont care if he bought you a fake diamond or not. How about just using their name? I dont need to be introduced to another "my fiance Chip" He's just Chip. Thats the name his momma gave him. So unless his birth certificate says My Fiance Chip Johnson. Just call him Chip.<>
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Hello all,Earlier this week, some of you received an email from me regarding thisSaturday's KU-Missouri holy war, I mean, football game.In that email, I mentioned that on a list of the top ten things I hatein life, Missouri might be number one. That prompted a couple responsesfrom people requesting to see my Top Ten Things I Hate in Life list.So over the last 24 hours, I've hastily compiled this list. Next week, I'll send out my Top Ten Things I Love in Life list. But for now,without further ado, here's the list in reverse order..
Honorable Mention: The term "pet peeve", anything having to do with football stats, speed limits, having a runny nose, when your swim trunksstick when you get out of the pool, when I'm trying to merge on to afreeway and people don't get over, the Tar Heel Nation, mud on my shoes,Manhattan New York, Manhattan Kansas.
10: GREEN ONIONSThis is a food item that never belongs on my plate and is impossible tocompletely remove. Worse yet, some places (namely Applebee's and maybe even Chili's) put them in my mashed potatoes. At that point, thepotatoes become a lost cause. What a waste.
9: NFC EASTGiants, Redskins, Eagles, Cowboys. All overrated. Never any good.
Always on my tv.
8: HUMIDITYThe first of two weather-related phenomena on my top ten. I hate itwhen it's sticky.
7: SIDEWALK/HALLWAY DANCING
Nothing makes me feel more stupid than when there's indecision between me and somebody else when we are walking toward each other and we can't figure out which side of the sidewalk and/or hallway to walk. Both people end up swerving all over the place. If this happened in cars, we'd all be getting pulled over for breathilizers. I'm positive we need to go ahead and start painting a yellow line down the middle of hallsand sidewalks just like we do for roads and highways
.6: SPEED BUMPSI've travelled to almost every state in the union, and driven a car in many of those. Speed bumps certainly exist everywhere but nowhere like in North Carolina. I find speed bumps to be a restriction of myfreedom. And freedom is what America was built upon. When I'm drivingin to work late every morning, I like to make up time by driving 55 mphon that little hilly road that leads to the center of campus. Why can'tI do that? And I'm pretty sure those bumps are causing some seriousalignment problems for my car, even at 5 mph.
5: 1-PLYNot much explanation is necessary here except to say this is 2003 inAmerica. Why are we still even making 1-play toilet paper? Hasn'ttechnology made this product obsolete?
4: SUNBURNMany of you would expect me to rank this higher but I simply wouldrather deal with sunburn than items one through three on this list.
3: THE DMVFirst of all, the offices are so dated that it's like stepping into atime machine back to the 1960's. They don't take credit cards, theydon't take checks. They're not helpful. They don't believe a word yousay and your first trip to the DMV is never successful. You always haveto go at least twice because they always need more documentation thatyou are have proper insurance, registration or most mind-boggling ofall, more proof that you're a U.S. citizen. Next time I'm just going tobring the doctor from Stormont-Vail Hospital in Topeka, Kansas whodelivered me into this world back in 1978. Maybe he can vouch for me.
2: CHINESE FOOD
1: MISSOURIThe fans, the team, the band, the fact that they have someone play the electric guitar in their band, the arena, the town and the Antlers... I hate everything about Missouri. How can I best describe how much I hate Missouri? Well, I'd rather ... watch the Eagles-Redskins game while eating moo shoo chicken with a side of green onions, outdoors in 90degree heat with 90 degree humidity, accidently bumping into people in the hallway on my way to the bathroom to wipe my ass with 1-ply toilet paper in the bathroom at the DMV ... than become a Missouri Tiger. >Rock Chalk Jayhawk!
n response to my old friend Mike V's Top 10 list, which was done so well, I have compiled my own such list. I'm not promising a top 10 list of things I love in the future but I'll see what I can do
10. Songs that download at different volumes. Nothing can screw up a good mix cd, I illegally made than one song unexpectingly going up a 20 decibils over the previous. Just to be followed by a song that comes in no louder than a whisper.
9. The two or three seconds after a phone call gets dropped on my cell. Its not so much the fact that the I was disconnected, its that few seconds I'm talking to myself without knowing that I am doing so. Nothing makes me feel more like an idiot. And really, I say two or three seconds but its probably closer to five or six, I just hate to think I talk to myself that long without realizing.
8. Jokes about my eating habits. Look, chances are if you're talking about my eating, you've known about it for sometime. And you understand its not going to change in the near future. I'd rather hear a string or short bald jokes. You can be curious and ask me about it, cause shit, I know its weird. But the "Pizza again Gregg?" line, might get someone shot. And I'm not kidding. Okay, so I am..no, not really.
7. Woohoo's and high fives. I've been a long time sports fan, I still see no reason to ever yell woohoo and give someone a high five. And I can admit, theres not much worse than someone real pumped, getting a high five from someone whose not so enthused or into the high five. And the woohoo? What is that? Anyone heard yelling it, should get a knee to the gut. If I ever run for office, that will be part of my campain.
6. Chief fans. I'm sorry, I really havent been able to figure out excatly what it is about them that drives me nuts. The fact that so many of them still wear Zubaz? No, thats not enough. I have to take part of the blame here. I believe part of stems from my moving here and not wanting to, so cheering against them was a way of showing the town what I thought of it. And now thats in me, and not going to change. But dont discount the Zubaz affect.
5. Those dumb bumper stickers of some kid peeing on a ford, dodge or chevy logo. I know its just HAS to eat up the execs at foreign car companies that their customers arent so clever. How can anyone have such strong feelings about other car companies?? What about poverty, education, any of the other 9 things on this list? There has to be something better to put your energy into. Maybe shopping for a new pair of Zubaz? Getting your mullet cut? Finding out if your wife is or isnt a distant cousin?
4. The genius infront of me at the grocery store who isnt ready to pay. What, are you suprised that the cashier wants money? Were you hoping today you'd be the millionth customer and get everything free. C'mon! You knew this was coming up. It may not be on the cute list of things to buy you put on your palm pilot. But its the only thing that was a given to happen. Think ahead.
3. It was a coin flip between 3 and 4. But #3 goes to those that cause traffic jams in KC. The ones that know they have to get over to the left lane to head north, yet think that if they just stay in right lane longer, they can cut infront of the other 437 cars.
[
2. People who come in for eye glasses right before we close the lab, and want them in an hour. All I can about this, I wont go into a resturant right before close. You dont even want to know.
1. The word Fiance. Drives me insane. Look, its still your damn boyfriend/girlfriend. I dont care if he bought you a fake diamond or not. How about just using their name? I dont need to be introduced to another "my fiance Chip" He's just Chip. Thats the name his momma gave him. So unless his birth certificate says My Fiance Chip Johnson. Just call him Chip.<>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello all,Earlier this week, some of you received an email from me regarding thisSaturday's KU-Missouri holy war, I mean, football game.In that email, I mentioned that on a list of the top ten things I hatein life, Missouri might be number one. That prompted a couple responsesfrom people requesting to see my Top Ten Things I Hate in Life list.So over the last 24 hours, I've hastily compiled this list. Next week, I'll send out my Top Ten Things I Love in Life list. But for now,without further ado, here's the list in reverse order..
Honorable Mention: The term "pet peeve", anything having to do with football stats, speed limits, having a runny nose, when your swim trunksstick when you get out of the pool, when I'm trying to merge on to afreeway and people don't get over, the Tar Heel Nation, mud on my shoes,Manhattan New York, Manhattan Kansas.
10: GREEN ONIONSThis is a food item that never belongs on my plate and is impossible tocompletely remove. Worse yet, some places (namely Applebee's and maybe even Chili's) put them in my mashed potatoes. At that point, thepotatoes become a lost cause. What a waste.
9: NFC EASTGiants, Redskins, Eagles, Cowboys. All overrated. Never any good.
Always on my tv.
8: HUMIDITYThe first of two weather-related phenomena on my top ten. I hate itwhen it's sticky.
7: SIDEWALK/HALLWAY DANCING
Nothing makes me feel more stupid than when there's indecision between me and somebody else when we are walking toward each other and we can't figure out which side of the sidewalk and/or hallway to walk. Both people end up swerving all over the place. If this happened in cars, we'd all be getting pulled over for breathilizers. I'm positive we need to go ahead and start painting a yellow line down the middle of hallsand sidewalks just like we do for roads and highways
.6: SPEED BUMPSI've travelled to almost every state in the union, and driven a car in many of those. Speed bumps certainly exist everywhere but nowhere like in North Carolina. I find speed bumps to be a restriction of myfreedom. And freedom is what America was built upon. When I'm drivingin to work late every morning, I like to make up time by driving 55 mphon that little hilly road that leads to the center of campus. Why can'tI do that? And I'm pretty sure those bumps are causing some seriousalignment problems for my car, even at 5 mph.
5: 1-PLYNot much explanation is necessary here except to say this is 2003 inAmerica. Why are we still even making 1-play toilet paper? Hasn'ttechnology made this product obsolete?
4: SUNBURNMany of you would expect me to rank this higher but I simply wouldrather deal with sunburn than items one through three on this list.
3: THE DMVFirst of all, the offices are so dated that it's like stepping into atime machine back to the 1960's. They don't take credit cards, theydon't take checks. They're not helpful. They don't believe a word yousay and your first trip to the DMV is never successful. You always haveto go at least twice because they always need more documentation thatyou are have proper insurance, registration or most mind-boggling ofall, more proof that you're a U.S. citizen. Next time I'm just going tobring the doctor from Stormont-Vail Hospital in Topeka, Kansas whodelivered me into this world back in 1978. Maybe he can vouch for me.
2: CHINESE FOOD
1: MISSOURIThe fans, the team, the band, the fact that they have someone play the electric guitar in their band, the arena, the town and the Antlers... I hate everything about Missouri. How can I best describe how much I hate Missouri? Well, I'd rather ... watch the Eagles-Redskins game while eating moo shoo chicken with a side of green onions, outdoors in 90degree heat with 90 degree humidity, accidently bumping into people in the hallway on my way to the bathroom to wipe my ass with 1-ply toilet paper in the bathroom at the DMV ... than become a Missouri Tiger. >Rock Chalk Jayhawk!
I'm baaaaaack. Well just about.
For those that never saw Hirp.com, check out these older sites: Always Remember Gregg's Spot Dreambook - hirp.com
The new hirp-com will most likely be a lot lighter. Thinking more along the lines of movie reviews, amusing rants and embarrassing stories about other people.
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