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February 28, 2006

ADD

So under the advice of Porqchop I've decided to make a blog entry I didn't think about before hand. Normally I wait till I feel I have something to write about but in his age, I assume he picked up some wisdom on the way. So here goes something.

Let's see, whats on my mind? How's this for irony. ADD. By far the most over diagnosed disorder of mine, or even Porqchops lifetime. Here I am, twenty something years old and I was diagnosed with it about 10 years ago now. And since that time, I have heard seriously, probably 80% of people I tell that I have ADD tell me that they think they have it too. Look, you had trouble paying attention to Lord of the Rings? No shit, the movie is about 32 days long. You day dream about the girl in the front row during class? Isn't that why you go to class in the first place? Or my favorite has been "you can't have ADD, you spend hours sitting at your computer" Which has been the best cover up of all time. Let's see, I can sit here look at espn.com, check out nydailynews, download music, watch tv, talk to a friend or two, never once be rude to them cause I'm also paying attention to 46 other things going on at the same time. Basically it's like I get to channel surf here without the annoying flicker or land on something as lame as "There and Back"

I like to think I'm lucky because I don't have ADHD.  I would just sit there and doodle or come up with baseball trades like any normal geek. But since I wasn't hyper, it went undetected till I bombed out of college and decided there had to be something more to it. It just wasn't normal to get up in the middle of class and leave. I'm a fairly polite guy, and try to respect teachers and such. But to grab my back pack, put on my headphones and bounce right in the middle of a lecture? A lecture my parents spent a few bucks on?? That just wasnt right. Sure it had to do with the freedom of college,I never once skipped in high school. But seriously, it was almost painful to sit through. Even in classes like Advertising, that interested me. So finally I get on some good stuff. Ritalin then Focalin. Which, yes I know are like speed, and highly addictive. A fact that scared the piss out of me for the first few years I was on it. I had seen addiction pretty up close and personal and was always terrified of it (luckily I got over that fear before I started playing poker) But it took some time to get past that fear. And my second shot at Quivira U came and went. By the time I finally started taking the meds religiously I was an old fart pushing my mid 20s.

I've heard it a million times, go back to school. Get your degree. Which I mull over from time to time. But even if I go back, get a degree and start a nice career. I cant get back those college years. I can't redo high school. I don't blame ADD or anything for losing those years. It was my fault. Well my fault, and maybe a little bit on the schools. Seriously. Shouldn't they have been, oh I don't know, paying attention?

1 comment:

Porqchop said...

Damn Rick. Sobering stuff. School systems are whack. And you're wise beyond your education.