American Morons

First off, the title of this subject comes from, the much anticipated soon, to be released book of the same name by http://www.glenhirshberg.com. I dug the title so much I thought I'd borrow (steal?!) it for what I hope becomes an on going feature to this site. A long beloved passion of mine, highlighting morons. By the way, I encourage all of you to check out the link and head over to his blog to read where the origins of the title.

Now, onto the goods. Today's American Moron, none other than New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. Now this idiot has stated that Katrina was God's way of paying back America for being in Iraq. For the record, I'm totally against what we're doing in Iraq, our idiot President and well..really not a fan of bad hurricanes either. But let me get this straight. Some idiot in the White House, and his buddies do some stupid crap and Nagin thinks God is taking it out on us? This is the same guy who got all pissed AT Bush for his slow response to the hurricane. Now, call me crazy but, isn't it just ridiculous to lump God and Bush together? Really, if there is a God right now he/she has to be wondering about which was a bigger disaster. Katrina, or Barbara and George getting together that night they made W. Really, I'd have to say W is the last thing I'd like put on my resume if I were God. Wait, I'm getting off point. This just doesn't add up.

Let me recap. W invades Iraq. Katrina invades Nawlins. Nagin get mad at W for his response to Katrina. Now this is where I get lost. How does this become God's way of getting back at us? It was ALL Dubya.

And wait, he wasn't done there. Something about making it a chocolate city, that God wants black people back in New Orleans. What, his killing thousands was just for shits and giggles? How do these jackasses get into office? And shouldn't someone be oh I don't know, maybe helping them craft their message just a little bit?

Master...er Great Debate

America is divided again. Not since Red States and Blue States, Bush and Kerry, Right and republican has there been an issue like this to split America in two. This time it's even closer because most people, can't even pick between the two.

The question at hand, which is better, The 40 Year Old Virgin or Wedding Crashers. A close call that reminds me of the great Pulp-Gump debate of 95.

Let's get to the tale of the tape:

Steve Carell Star Power Vince & Owen

Something About Mary Best Compared to American Pie with Trent from Swingers

"Know how I know you're gay" Most repeated line "A game called just the tip"

Steve Carell Break-out Star Rachel McAdams

Seth Rogen Scene Stealer Christopher Walken

So that's just the basics. Myself, I choose The 40 Year Old Virgin as both the funnier, and the better movie. Both are great fun but 40 year old just cracks my shit up. For every charecter in the movie, I know someone JUST like that. I can't say the same thing about Crashers. The charecters in 40 Year Old are just more likeable. Vaughn is great, as usual, but really he's playing Trent from Swingers and Wilson is just playing every other role he ever played. And really, I'm not rooting for him to get the girl, as much as I'm rooting for her to step through the screen and into my apartment.

Also, I guarantee you, in a few years when both are on cable, you will not be able to surf by 40 year old. It will be one of the all-time great surf stoppers. You don't need to see it from the start, like Meet The Parents or Fletch, there could be 4 minutes left or 54 and you are done surfing. Sure you'll stop on Crashers but you'll look a little more for something better before returning to it. And that's the test of any great comedy.

End of an era

7 years 2 months and 22 days. That was my sentence. That was the bid I served. Sure I made friends with some of the other inmates. And no, I never picked up any bar of soap in the shower. I did however, set a few fires. Figuratively and literally. But I've been paroled. It may not exactly have been for good behavior, but fuck it. Time served. Free at last, free at last. You know the rest right? But really, a few people are probably expecting, maybe even wanting, some long anti-Lenscrafters rant. And I'm not kidding myself, its not that I'm above that. In fact it would be VERY me. But this is it. I'm glad to be moving on to bigger and better. And I hate to get all mushy, but there were some bright spots. Mainly the people. Yes, the same guy who daily said "I fucking hate people," is actually a guy now saying he's gonna miss SOME of the people. New and old, they know who they are.

So I am currently enjoying a week of unemployment. My new job at Sprint doesn't start until the 9th. So its not really unemployment. But it's been kinda nice. Let's see, I've played poker 3 times (lost a total of $36) Been out for drinks now, 3 nights (including New Years Eve) I've watched both The 40 Year Old Virgin and Wedding Crashers. Saw one helluva National Championship Game. Saw the wrong team win. And I don't get it. Finally Bush loses, yet Texas still wins? Can't we just give the state back to Mexico? And it's only Wednesday. Tomorrow, yep, more poker. Some XBox. Very good chance I'll be eating some pizza at some point. "Pizza again Gregg?" Damn straight. Might even go see my kids.

I've been told I should be updating my blog every day, since well. I don't have much else to do. But there just isn't much going on. It is time however for the top 10 movies of 05. I'll post that either tomorrow or later tonight.