Driving into work today, I was listening to “Mike and Mike in the Morning” on ESPN Radio. Wait a second I have two things to say before going forward. The beginning of the last sentence totally gave me an Arsenio Hall flashback. Remember when he was “driving in from Cleveland”? What happened to him? Shouldn’t he be hosting a reality television? Secondly, Mike & Mike is the highlight of my morning. It beats the shit out of any pooping.
Anyway, this morning the guys were responding to a listeners email. She, and the fact that this is worth noting will be apparent in just a second, was in a bit of a predicament because she has a dinner to attend Saturday night, in which she’s going to introduce her parents to her boyfriends’ parents. And she claims to be nuts about this guy. But at the same time her dinner is scheduled, so is her fantasy football draft. So she isn’t sure what to do. Let’s just take a second to acknowledge how cool it is that a chick is that serious about fantasy football, and it isn’t because it will give her three hours of quiet while her husband and friends huddle around a table in someone else’s basement.
She doesn’t know what to do, and so the fellas were debating what her options were. She could blow off the draft and drop out of the league, she could ask for a reschedule, she could send someone to draft in her place or she could skip the dinner. She’s having a tougher time with this than George W Bush had when deciding to invade Iraq or not. I understand the dilemma very well. I’ve been a fantasy baseball or football owner almost every year since I was 12. Scheduling a draft has becoming increasingly difficult. Thanks to the internet, it’s now possible to have owners spread across the country. But it’s a bitch to get everyone’s schedules lined up. To do so, then have something that in all honesty is more important pop up, is a real beyatch. And it happened to me this year.
My draft is actually set for tonight, but as life does sometimes, it sent me a curveball. After setting the draft date, a buddy of mine that lives in Chicago told me he was coming to KC. The irony is, one of his reasons for making the trip is to be apart of his fantasy draft in person. But he gets in a few hours after my draft starts, luckily we use the auction to pick our players, so I have it a little easier. My plan is to just blow my load early and get out of there. Sounds like the standard guy plan for a Friday night, right? But standard guy plans don’t exist in these situations. You haven’t seen ridicule till you’ve seen a guy leave either a poker game or draft early. But I told my buddy that he and his wife could stay at my apartment this weekend. So I have to be there to let them in and give them a key.
But technology has given us more than the internet as a draft aid. We have cell phones, and even more importantly, we have text messaging. Push comes to shove, I can draft as I drive up i35. Risks be damned, some things are just that important. Which brings us to the conflicted girls solution. She should text message her picks in. She can hide the phone under the table, take long multiple restroom breaks or just play the “work calls” card. His parents might be annoyed, but they’d also be impressed by her dedication. So what if they aren’t clear on what she’s so dedicated to. The dedication is what matters here. And isn’t that what they would want for their son? And in return, he might just be able to get her to try the one thing they hardly ever do, or the thing they never do. But if she isn’t able to get Bush that night, than I doubt he will either. Reggie Bush, you pervs.
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