Whoever designed the packaging for children’s toys needs to be tied down, and have their toenails ripped out one by one while listening to Billy Ray Cyrus’ Greatest Hits. This weekend was my first stab at hosting a birthday party for a kid. Kids literally salivate at opening a new toy, and these sadistic bastards make it a 30 minute process which leaves little pieces of box, ties and tape scattered throughout your home for you to find over the next 4-5 months.
Used to be my trick too, I used to give my nieces, nephews and my friends kids gifts with tons of little pieces. It was hysterical to me, now it’s not funny. Sure I had it coming, but wait till I get your 10 year-old a subscription to Playboy. Or share with them the secrets of sneaking out. Let’s see how you like it when I let your kids listen to my entire Tupac catalog. Wonda why they call ya bitch, great song for a 7 year old to learn. It’s an evil game, and I never should have done it. But that was my gig, try and make me pay for it, and I’ll spend my life one upping you. I have that kind of time. As long as my wife says I do.
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Saw American Gangster over the weekend. Quality flick, fell a little short of meeting my expectations, but worth seeing and owning. Denzel should shelve the good guy and Detective roles for a while; he really plays a great bad guy. Josh Brolin, in a role that seemed tailor made for Ray Liotta, did some scene stealing. I don’t think I’ve liked him since Goonies.
2 comments:
personally I use the wire cutters when helping Lillybeth open her polly pockets with a zillion little pieces,( her dad is under the impression that if you buy it, you have to endure the torture of opening it) makes for spreading the joy a lot faster, and a lot less of my "weekend words" come out of my mouth lol ....the joys of children.
So we can count on you NOT getting Libby and Sydney any more 100,000 piece dolls and stuff for the holidays? Just remember than now that we are going to have a niece, payback can and will suck !!! and your brother IS a musician.......maybe she would like to play drums??
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