Hirplings

This is getting to be a bit ridiculous, and a man in my position can’t be made to feel ridiculous! We’re now at three consecutive Sunday nights with less than desirable sleep. And by desirable, I mean half-way decent. The first was the most understandable, being the night before rejoining the work force after 64 weeks off. That was a bit nerve wracking. The second didn’t make too much sense. I was just anxious because my first week back at work, I didn’t do a thing. So I was worried about what it would it would be like to do some actual work. Now last night was just fucking dumb. What thoughts were keeping me up? I was anxious about “what if I can’t sleep again?” The fear of not sleeping kept me awake. If I could turn that into some sort of “fear of gaining weight” diet, I could retire within a month. Welcome to the Hirp’s mind.




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So far in 2011 we’ve seen 19 people shot in Tucson with six of them passing away from their injuries, three law enforcement officers shot in St. Petersburg, four officers shot inside a police precinct in Detroit, and two officers killed in Miami. Two deputies were shot outside a Wal-Mart in Washington. Another cop was shot in Indianapolis (he’s in a coma), and one in Oregon is in critical condition. Oh, and by the way, that was just over a 24 hour period. Eleven officers in one day, yeah, let’s stay as far away from gun control as possible. There are definitely not too many guns in America. But there are just way too many bullets. As Chris Rock said:



“Everybody is talking about gun control. Got to control the guns. Fuck, that, I like guns. If you've got a gun, you don't need to work out! Cause, I ain't working out. I ain't jogging. No, I think we need some bullet control. I think every bullet should cost five thousand dollars. Five thousand dollars for a bullet. Know why? Cos if a bullet cost five thousand dollars, there'd be no more innocent by-standers. That'd be it. Some guy'd be shot you'd be all 'Damn, he must've done something, he's got fifty thousand dollars worth of bullets in his ass!' And people'd think before they shot someone 'Man I will blow your fucking head off, if I could afford it. I'm gonna get me a second job, start saving up, and you a dead man. You'd better hope I don't get no bullets on lay-away!' And even if you get shot you wouldn't need to go to the emergency room. Whoever shot you'd take their bullet back. 'I believe you got my property?'”