Word

Well, another week and another controversy coming out of Hollywood. That wasn’t even meant to be a pun, but last week it was who was coming out of the closet and this week it’s what should or shouldn’t be said. By now, we’ve all heard what Michael Richards, aka KKKramer said to some hecklers. And what he said is without a doubt, awful and hateful and there should be uproar about it. So leaders from the African-American community are rallying to try and ban the “N” word.

And really, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I think if rappers, writers and everyone decides they don’t want to use it anymore then they shouldn’t. Maybe it’s just the word “ban” that I’m unsure of, but I don’t think there’s been a time in history that a ban was truly successful. They might get some people to stop using it, but they’ll also get people who will rebel against being told not to say it. The best thing that will come from all this, will be open discussion about the word. Let’s start with seeing it, the word is, “nigger.” Yes, I wrote it. Stop the presses, I just said nigger. And I don’t say it in my everyday vocabulary.

In fact, when I listen to hip hop and the word is used in a song, I won’t say it. So why am I writing it now? I’ll tell you why. I’ve been reading some articles about this subject, and they all either say the “N” word or n*****, like we don’t know what that is. Last night I was watching 8 Mile on VH1, and there’s a scene where Eminem gives the finger. But thanks to technology, they edited it out. So instead of seeing a finger, we’ve all seen, we just see what looks like a crippled hand that is missing the top half of one finger. I say F that. The word in the center of all this is nigger, there are no asterisks in the spelling of it.

It’s an awful word, with a long hateful history. I will not object one bit, if I never hear it in a song or a movie ever again. And I’d be thrilled if I never heard it in conversation. I have black friends that use it when talking, and not just to other blacks. I’ve been told I have a pass to use it, I took it as a compliment, but I won’t use it. I realize that’s all I can decide. It isn’t right for me to say, and I know it isn’t right for any white man or woman to say. I understand the point of view that it’s degrading for blacks to use the word when addressing each other. It’s a completely logical opinion to have. But, what any people of any culture choose to call one another is up to them. I once saw an interview with Tupac where he explained the difference between the words nigger and nigga.

He explained it to mean: N.I.G.G.A. Never Iggnorant Getting Goals Accomplished. And that “niggers were the ones hanging by ropes, Niggas are the ones wearing gold ropes.” How can we really say it’s wrong to take a negative and turn it into a positive? Just because everyone can’t agree that it’s a positive? Is that really much different than when it became a symbol of status for Jewish-Americans to drive a Mercedes-Benz?

Chris Rock broke it down some years ago on a comedy special. He said something to the affect of “I black people, but I hate niggers.” And went on to describe the difference, which essentially was the same as the difference between what we consider white trash and everyone else. So it’s a complex issue, with lots of opinions. And just trying to ban it, doesn’t begin to actually deal with it.

I routinely hear women call each other bitches, and worse. I know it’s disrespectful if I say it, and if I do that I’m taking my life in my hands. I have used “kyke” when talking to other Jews I’m friends with, and in some weird way it really is a term of endearment. But if someone else says it, well we aren’t going to be friends. I know I’m wrong for how I use words like “gay” and “fag.” I don’t feel I’m homo-phobic and I probably shouldn’t use the words, but in all honesty I’ll probably continue to do so.

Society isn’t nice. Everyone says things they probably shouldn’t, and we all use words that would offend entire groups of people. I happen to enjoy race and religious based jokes, but not racist or hateful jokes. And there’s a thin line there. I happen to strongly believe we should acknowledge and embrace our differences. And the best way to do so is to make fun of those differences. This is why I think this is actually a good thing to be talking about. There shouldn’t just be a ban because it’s a bad word. There should be discussions about why it’s bad, who it offends. It’s a tough conversation to have. But trying to be all Politically Correct while discussing it, is the best way to end honest communication.

Here’s a quote from the rapper Chamillionaire about the subject. He says he’s we as if he is only speaking about African-Americans, but it’s really everyone.

“Its not just rappers its as African-Americans in general, we do a lot of things that are opposite of past history," Chamillionaire said. "We wear flashy jewelry and brag like it’s a trophy, when people in the present and past history would get killed for the diamonds. We promote violence and drugs but complain about violence and drugs. We don't vote but complain about who is in office. We throw the 'n-word' around like it’s a good thing, when in the past it was one of the most dreadful words. All this stuff has grown to become a part of the culture."

A Few Things

So this is funny, to me anyway. First, I need to give you a little background info. This blog, as you may have noticed, has a counter on the right side. Well, it’s more than just a counter. Yes, it counts the visits, but it does more than that. It keeps track of who (by IP address) how they found the page (Google and the keywords, a link from another page or whatever) as well as tells me what page someone left on and how long they read my blog. Pretty boring stuff, I know, but I still get a kick out of it. Plus, I may one day get some advertising on here and make a buck or two, so this is all useful information for me.

Now how on earth can this be funny? Well, last night I had a visitor. To the blog that is, and I just love how they found it. Someone Googled “lenscrafters” and the very colorful adjective “shitty” and that lead them to www.FromTheHirp.com. I’d like to meet this person. I’m pretty sure we could be fast friends. I just wonder what kind of experience they had recently, that they felt the need to look up other the good ol’ shitty Lenscrafters.

**************************

Some friends and I were talking about getting a team together to try out for VH1’s World Series of Pop Culture. Unfortunately, the teams consist of three players rather than four as we first though. So, I am trying to form my own team. Looking for fellow dorks with embarrassing knowledge of music, movies, television and whatever else they may ask.

The subjects I feel pretty confident in are: Gangster movies, hip hop, pop music since the 80’s, Friends, Seinfeld, Sopranos, Entourage, movies in general since the 80’s, and events. And if the judges can’t understand my answer, they can’t say I am wrong.

**************************

Here is a list of upcoming movies I’m looking forward to seeing this Holiday Season:
Bobby, Blood Diamond, The Pursuit of Happyness, The Good Shepherd, The Good German, and Smokin’ Aces.

From what I have read about these movies, I have pretty high expectations, but I’m sure there’ll be some surprises.

Bi-Polar Weather

We are so going to pay for this. It was like 70 degrees here yesterday, and is supposed to be that nice again today. This can’t go unpunished. The weather in Kansas City is bi-polar, today is great, but I already know it’s supposed to drop down to like 19 degrees on Thursday. Seriously, those who don’t live here can’t even imagine. Within 48 hours, we’ll go from wearing short sleeve shirts, to winter coats and hats. We’ll probably even see some snow.

On one hand, you hate to bitch about it. Should I really have a complaint when we get a couple days in the 70s in late November? I think I do. For starters, I’m good at complaining. If you didn’t think so, you wouldn’t be reading this blog. I have family in San Diego, its like 72 degrees year-round there. Am I jealous? You bet I am. That’s why days like yesterday are so unfair. Don’t show me how life could be. That isn’t helping me at all.

I might not like winter, but we should have it anyway. That way I can know when it’s over. And to give us such great weather over a long weekend, probably cut my productivity in half this Monday. And I probably wasn’t going to be all that productive anyway.


So, I’m 30 now. All growns up, and when you’re all growns up, you’re all growns up. I don’t feel wiser. My hip isn’t bothering me. I didn’t feel the desire to get to Dennys for the Early Bird Special. Nor was I offered any discounts at the movies. But I had a pretty damn good birthday. Every time I celebrated it. Really, I’ve never been someone who liked being the center of attention or made big deals about my birthdays. But from the Vegas trip, to going out with some friends last weekend a couple nights, to a Wednesday afternoon boat trip, and ending in a dinner at Italian Delight. It’s been quad-aces every step of the way. (quad-aces is a pretty damn good hand for those that don’t get the poker lingo) And hopefully I’ll be updating my blog on a more regular basis now

*I wrote this on 11/21 but didn’t get a chance to post it till 11/22.

So, today is it, the last day of my twenties. All along I had thought tomorrow was the day, then last night it hit me. My actual birth date this year doesn’t mean much, other than my driver’s license expires. It’s today. In high school (and for many others college) graduation was the big day, the day after just meant you were a graduate. I guess it also meant you were probably pretty hung over.

Tonight is the last night I can quote Dazed and Confused. Well, I can still use the line but now I have to change it to “college girls, I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” Otherwise I’ll just be that creepy guy. And I don’t want to be him till I turn 40. If I want to see either Pacino or Deniro at their best, then tonight is the last night I can watch “Scarface” or “Goodfellas”. Once I hit 30, it’s “Frankie and Johnny and “Awakenings”. Tupac should probably be taken off the iPod so that Neil Diamond can take his place. ESPN gives way to CNN. GQ gets shelved in favor of Time. PTI won’t be a show, and 60 Minutes will no longer just be another way of saying one hour. Today, there isn’t enough sex and violence on television, tomorrow there’ll be too much. These aren’t all inherently bad trades. It’s hardly trading up but it isn’t like I’ll need a hearing aid or bi-focals just yet.

The most upsetting fact, by far, is I will no longer be the cool young uncle that the kids can relate to. Now, I might as well be mom or dad. I might not feel at all different, and my tastes might (and I’m pretty certain will) remain the same. But the kids will see one thing. And old fart. Little shits, what do they know? When I was their age, 30 sounded perfect. I thought it meant owning a house, starting your second marriage, and knowing it all. I didn’t realize then that I already knew it all.

The pluses are, the bars won’t be as noisy. Soccer moms might drive mini-vans, but they also stopped hanging those retarded beads from their rear-view mirror. Women, hopefully, HOPEFULLY, have figured out these three things: All guys are stupid. They aren’t going to end up with John Cusak. And I’m a lot better than their previous husband, I’m also grateful if they married rich the first time.

But it’s 6pm now, I’m waiting on a buddy to have some pizza before headed over to a poker game. And I can’t think of a better way to spend the last few hours of my 20’s. Okay, I can but this is a family site. And if I allow myself to be optimistic, for just a second, things look good right now. The teenage years sucked, and the second half of my 20’s was much better than the first half. The way things are trending, the next 10 years should be fantastic. I hope so. Cause life ends at 40.

Mythology

For years I’ve heard about this supposed “East Coast bias” that taints professional sports. Other than their jealous feelings of the East, there is zero credibility to this claim. Often I’ve heard that it’s obvious because of how often East Coast teams have their games televised. This is complete crap. That has to do with ratings first and foremost. Fact is that if a game in New York is on at 8pm eastern, more people will be able to watch that game as oppose to a game in St Louis that starts at 9pm eastern. It isn’t that the networks want to ignore a game in the Midwest; they just want as many viewers as possible. Plus those hicks in the Midwest have to get up early to tend to their farms, and the flower people out West, well they just don’t like sports anyway.

Then I’ve heard that the reason for this “bias” is because CNN, ESPN and Fox News are all located out East. That’s just ignorant. They happen to be located in cities of some importance; little things like Wall Street, the United Nations and our Capital are in these cities. Where should they be located to get the stories, Omaha?

Recently I heard something that made me realize, some people don’t even understand what the East Coast consists of. So, let’s clear that up. Take the original 13 colonies. Now, whoever ended up in the North is the East Coast. The states that ended up fighting as part of the South, are just that. The South, well they don’t consider themselves part of the East Coast, and cry about the “East Coast bias” as much as anyone. It’s really that simple. It isn’t just the states that are east of the Mississippi, that’s ridiculous. I heard someone say Indiana was part of the east, how that works I’ll never know.

The current AP Top 25 College Football poll has one actual east coast team in the top 10, Rutgers. Rutgers is also undefeated, yet they are behind USC, Arkansas, Norte Dame and Florida (a southern school, not an east coast school) who all have one loss. There is exactly one other team from the east coast in the top 25, and that is Boston College. BC is 8-2 and ranked 20th. Yet, Oklahoma, Cal, Georgia Tech, and Virginia Tech are ahead of them and have an identical 8-2 record. So when does this bias kick in and help them out?

The last AP Top 25 College Basketball poll had five teams from the east coast ranked. Those schools being Pittsburgh, Georgetown, Boston College, UConn, and Syracuse. Going back to 1999, those schools have 3 National Championships, four Final 4 appearances and six trips to the Elite 8 between them. So you can’t say they haven’t done anything to deserve high praise.

In baseball, going back to 1995 players from the East Coast have won a combined 4 MVP’s and Cy Young Awards. Guys named Alex Rodriguez, Pedro Martinez and Roger Clemens. The numbers the three have compiled have nothing to do with media bias, and in fact they’ve produced even better numbers when playing elsewhere.

In the NBA, aside from Allen Iverson winning the MVP playing on the East Coast in 2001, you have to go al the way back to 1986 for the previous East Coast MVP winner. A guy named Larry Bird. The past two seasons, a friggin’ Canadian playing in Arizona has won the MVP. There must be a strong Canuck bias in the NBA eh?

There’s plenty to be envious of for the rest of the country. New York, Boston, Washington DC, and Philadelphia are cities rich in history, and sports history. The rest of the world thinks of those cities when they think of America and the American way. Just admit there’s jealousy, it won’t make the East Coast think less of you. That would mean you are already being thought of.

Walk The Line

The average adult can walk, really they can. They can put their left foot in front of their right foot. They get from point A to point B. And usually, they don’t fall down. This has very little to do with really walking though. I haven’t done any studies on this (yet), but I believe that only 40% of adults know HOW to walk. The action itself is learned when we’re kids, right around the time we get potty trained. Only when it comes to the potty, most adults develop their skills more than they develop their walking skills. They know it’s not polite to toot in public, and that you don’t have to fidget to hold it in.

But when it comes to walking, it seems pretty clear that once a child gets to the point that they no longer look like Bob Huggins walking the line at a check-point, well that’s when they stop learning. I just so happen to believe there’s a lot more to it. Really knowing how to walk has more to do with knowing how to drive. And we all know how few adults know how to properly drive. It’s like this. If you’re going to drive, or walk slow, stay to the left. It’s not hard to remember. Also, there should be no changing lanes without looking over your shoulder. It sounds so easy, but we see how few drivers can abide by these laws. It’s not often a big deal, and I haven’t seen any stories on the news yet about fatalities from hallway pile ups. No 20/20 specials on “Walking Rage” like they have run on “Road Rage.” But that’s because people are too chicken to cuss someone out who cuts them off in a mall, they prefer to hide in their two ton SUV and behind glass and steel. It isn’t because they aren’t pissed.

There should be public service announcements on television all month long, since that awful time of the year is upon us. The malls will be packed, and there will be millions of unreported walking accidents. Some will leave victims emotionally scared for life, and I suspect there will even be some physical injuries. Have you seen the staircases at Oak Park Mall the day after Thanksgiving? I have, and I’ve nearly pushed an entire family down the stairs. I’m not sure why more people can’t view stairs like they view bridges. It’s a long ways down, so it’s not a good time to piss someone off.

So, I propose walking laws. If the cops in the mall were handing out tickets to the mother with the stroller who is walking on the right-hand side of the hallway, a city like Overland Park could raise millions of dollars. And maybe, just maybe save some lives. This isn’t just a retail problem, I nearly had an accident walking into work this morning when an oblivious phone talking woman suddenly turned in front of me, forcing me to pass her on the right. If we had been driving, I would have been tempted to just slam into her. Or if she were cute.

From The Hirp

• This probably speaks volumes about the level of excitement in my life, but I’m not afraid to admit it. I am thrilled about the latest edition to my blog. If you have any volume on your computer, you’re probably hearing it right now. If you don’t, I suggest turning it up a little and looking over to the side. See it? That’s right; I have an Ipod on here now! Thanks in large part to my friend Missy, who figured out how after I saw it on someone’s MySpace page. Really though, how cool is that? I just wish you could skip from song to song, maybe it’s just a problem with my computer and I can’t take advantage of that feature. Arguably the best perk to this isn’t even visible. The site used to manage the music I want played on there, stores my music on the internet for me. Allowing access from any computer, essentially turning any computer I can get my hands on, into a larger Ipod. This could come in very handy and makes it valuable to anyone who likes music, even if they don’t have a blog or website of their own. Not as convenient as an Ipod by any means.

• What is the over/under on when K-Fed, er, someone leaks a Britney sex tape? Let’s see, he’s bitter, broke, white trash and the only claim to fame he has is who he slept with. I can’t see why he would want to release a video. What will the title be?

• This was true when I was a kid, and it’s true for every married man today. When mom or your wife says “we need to do ___” it means you need to do this. This works in three, and only three sceneiors. Mom, wife or a boss are the only ones allowed to say this. Today, I had a co-worker mention how “we need to take the pizza boxes to the trash.” Now, she’s a wife and a mother, but neither to me. And she’s not my boss. So, if she thinks I’m going to touch the boxes, that she is very capable of moving herself, well she’s sadly mistaken. And if she happens to find this page, I’m in for a world class awkward moment. We need to make sure she never visits.

• Tonight I’m going to an end of the season dinner for my friend’s sons’ football team. The wife of the coach is a first rate bitch. I mentioned her behavior in a previous post “parent of the year” or something like that. But I don’t think anyone got her a trophy, and it’s a shame. She should know just how big of a bitch she is. I’m sure she’ll find out after her son spends the rest of their savings on therapy. But she should know now, and I’d prefer to be there when she finds out. In fact, I think I’d like to tell her myself. Hmm, that’s probably not a good idea. But if she happens reads this, it won’t be an awkward moment. Not for me anyway.

Make Funny Time Yes

This past weekend I saw Borat, and it is every bit as funny as you’ve heard. But it’s a lot smarter than people are giving it credit for. Sure, the “running of the Jew” nearly made me wet myself, and I laughed hysterically for a solid 10 minutes after the scene, but exposing the ignorance of Americans throughout the movie was borderline brilliant. Some how this guy was able to get your average Americans, and I mean average on every level, to let their guard down and really say how they feel. Be it homophobic comments by a cowboy at a rodeo in Texas, to drunken college kids sounding like the disciples’ of Mel Gibson.

Much of the movie uses the same shock humor as Jackass, but it always ends up going somewhere you couldn’t anticipate. Now, what I don’t understand is how Shasha Baron-Cohen is able to find such fools. It doesn’t surprise me that he isn’t recognized and I’m sure they had to edit out a few scenes where he was but, the fact that he gets people to invite him in with a camera and humiliate them, well that just baffles me. Don’t they have to sign consent forms to allow the footage to be aired? I don’t see anyway that his adventure was as random as we are led to believe.

Definitely a movie to own when the DVD comes out, I can’t wait to see some of the deleted scenes. Is very nice.

As funny as Borat was, it wasn’t the funniest part of my weekend. Watching Porqchops daughter eat, well that literally takes the cake. At first she appears angelic, as she nearly dives head first into her cake. Then you hear something that you immediately assume is Porqchop. No, the growling noise isn’t coming from his intestine. And it’s 1:30 on a Sunday afternoon, so he isn’t just watching Skinamax. No, the growling sound is coming from a now 1 year old girl, as she devours her cake. It’s friggin’ hysterical. She continues to growl, and ignores the laughter of the nearby adults because she means business. This isn’t a kid hamming it up for attention; she is just that serious about her food.

Hirp on...

Holy crap! I haven't posted in a week. And I wasn't even in a coma. There’s no real reason for the delay. Maybe its writers block or maybe it’s just a boring life catching up with me, either way there hasn’t been anything to say. Hopefully this weekend I’ll see Borat, I’m pretty sure I’ll have a few thoughts after that. I finally watched Da Ali G show for the first time last weekend. It took a good two or three years of a friend telling me how great it was before I finally caved. And well, it’s not THAT great, but it’s pretty damn funny. Mostly the Borat sketches. It’s a scientific fact that Jews are the funniest people on the planet. It also helps that most the scientists are Jewish.

------------------------------------------

It sounds trivial and probably doesn’t make sense. But I judge a computer mainly by the sound of the keyboard. A solid clicking, that sounds like rapid gunfire when you really start typing is on some level, a much smaller level, as sweet sounding as a wood bat making solid contact. Today I got my laptop from work, and the keyboard on laptops some how sounds better than 86% of all other keyboards. You probably think I just made up that percentage. I’m a complete nerd.

------------------------------------------

Can we have a moment of silence for Mrs. Kevin Federline please? I mean, if those two crazy kids can’t make it work, who can? I was a bit skeptical about the institute of marriage before, now I’ve lost all faith in it. What were the odds? I love that she announced it on Election Day. Doing her best to bury the story, she must have finally hired someone to do her PR. I think she’s been without for the past 10 years. And I don’t think she’s smart enough to consider when and how to release this horribly upsetting news.

------------------------------------------

Election results are in, um, duh. You aren’t here to get the news. So the Democrats have won control of the House and Senate and this is supposed to help right Washington. Myself, I definitely consider myself a “democrat.” I am; Pro-choice, against the war in Iraq, in favor of affirmative action, I think gun control should be more than “use two hands.” Basically, I’m what you’d call a liberal. But lately I find myself sick of the label, and the label, “conservative.” I think part this comes from the spots my cousin did that I posted on here last week. I’m not sure when or how liberal became a synonymous for democrat or conservative for republican. But some where along the way, it became more important for people to support their party rather than their views.

I think most people have views that cross party lines. You can be pro-life and pro-environment (in fact that sounds logical) but you’d be hard pressed to find a politician that shares your views. I could be wrong but, I lay the blame on the shoulders of the religious right. They are like the mafia, you are either with them or against them and being against them could mean death, or at least a stint in hell. And it’s hard to find Republicans that will stand up against them. A Republican politician has to appease the right, or lose their support and more importantly, their financial backing.
So once again God or better yet, Religion is doing more to separate us than bring us together. A simple fact that proves separating religion and state is the right thing to do.

A Tad

Yesterday I was reading the Sports Guy’s NBA Preview and in doing so, I was some how transported back to high school. I was on newspaper for three years in high school, go on and laugh, and one of my highlights occurred in 1995. That was the year I wrote a little NBA Preview of my own. When I say “little” I’m being sarcastic. Originally the plan was I’d write this Preview, and it would run in one issue of the Blue Valley Northwest Express.

Then I started writing it. And writing. Then I wrote a little more. Our paper came out once a month and when time came to lay out the paper, we found out that my preview wouldn’t fit in just one issue. A month later the editors realized it wasn’t going to fit in two issues. But we couldn’t run it in a third because, well the season would be nearly halfway over at that point. So everyone who remembers it only remembers how long the thing was. They ignore the fact that I correctly predicted a Knicks-Rockets Final. Unfortunately I missed two somewhat minor details. The Knicks would lose the series, and the entire series would be over shadowed by some white Bronco driving around Southern California one afternoon.

A couple years later I met a girl who was in the same sorority as one of the editors from high school. Some how this lunatic told my new friend that the reason they stopped running my preview was because I had plagiarized the thing. This is complete and utter bullshit. It’s true I had multiple NBA Preview magazines open while I wrote the piece, but that was for research purposes. I needed to know who was where exactly, and of course use lots of stats.

It bothered me for a while that I heard this three years AFTER the fact. So this bitter editor was either just trying to make me look bad to this girl, or she and the advisor lacked the guts to confront me. It’s true I butted heads with the editors and the advisor. In fact I was nearly kicked off staff. I had a slight problem where I would only follow up on the assignments I felt like writing. There were three subjects of interest to me. Those were sports, movies and music. I’ve really grown up a lot since then. Want me to write an NBA Preview? Sure thing. Asbestos story, I didn’t even attempt to write it. Hell, I didn’t even consider writing it. See, back in high school I had a few rules. I only cared about sports and movies, so that’s all I wanted to write about. Also, I would only interview people I knew. I was more then a tad bit socially retarded at that point in my life. Today I’m just a tad bit tard.

Don't Talk to Neighbors

So I’m in training today, and some how we got on this “get to know your neighbor” sidebar. We were each to ask a pretty basic question for everyone to answer. Some of the questions were; where would you go if you could go any place, what’s your dream job and what’s your favorite meal.

My turn came around, and I was pretty sure of at least some of the answers. I asked if you could meet anyone from history, who would it be. Without fail, half of the class answered Jesus or some other religious figure. I’m not upset by their answers; I’m never upset when I’m proven right. But I still question why they would answer that way at the work place. They say to avoid talking religion and politics at work. Who “they” are, I’m not real sure but this is one of the few times I disagree with “them.”

Not because I think it’s in poor taste though. I love talking religion and politics. But at work, I know I have to censor myself. I hate censoring myself. I ask a simple question about a historical figure, and when someone answers Jesus, I can’t say, “no, I meant people that we know really walked the earth.” Nor can I say, “you sure you can handle that kind of disappointment? This is a once in a life time event, and you want to meet a carpenter from 2000 years ago?”

But a co-worker doesn’t need to know what I believe about religion or politics. Just as I would jump to conclusions about someone whose beliefs differ from mine, they would assume things about me. Some of which may be correct assumptions, that are still better off remaining unknown. The strangest thing, for me anyway, is how many people I’ve seen that openly discuss religion and even bring bibles to work or include scripture quotes in their e-mail signatures. It’s actually pretty scary to be honest. Not just because I’m Jewish but, not completely separate of that fact either.

Now here’s one of my favorite questions. You’re having a dinner party, in my case this may consist of ordering a few pizzas. You can, and must invite 9 people. They can be either: dead or alive, famous or infamous, a personal friend or a celebrity. With any mix you like.

So I’d order some pies and have my old friend Brendan, Jennifer Aniston, Robert Deniro, Tupac, Jackie Robinson, Frank Sinatra, Dwight Gooden, Chuck Klosterman, and The Sports Guy.