I’ve been a bad blogger of late, I apologize. Although I like to tell my boss that I never get sick, I was reminded that isn’t entirely true. Well, that really isn’t true at all because, on occasion I do get sick. And for nearly a week, I was pretty sure I was dieing, or wanting to. I don’t do sick real well. I’ve decided I could never have some fatal disease because just being that sick would kill me, long before the disease actually won out.
So it’s been a pretty slow day at the office, and I’ve found time to view a couple of movie trailers. The first was for Smokin’ Aces, a Jeremy Piven lead cast that includes: Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Peter Berg, Andy Garcia, Alicia Keys, Ray Liotta and Ryan Reynolds. Looks like a mix between Gross Pointe Blank and Oceans 11. http://imdb.com/title/tt0475394/trailers-screenplay-E30575-10-2
The second trailer also felt a bit like Oceans 11. Probably because it was for Oceans 13, I’m sure that had something to do with it. And I loved 11, and like most I was pretty let down by Oceans 12. The good news is, so was Clooney and the gang, and that’s what led them to deciding to make 13. This time they’ve added Al Pacino to the cast, and done away with dead weights Catherine Zeta-Jones and Julia Roberts.
http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1796496
If I were at home, I could get on YouTube.com and put the trailers right in the blog, but you’ll survive.
December 28, 2006
December 19, 2006
Pizza My Mind
It isn’t “like” a slice of heaven; no it literally is a slice of heaven. And I don’t even believe in heaven. Eight slices of heaven to be exact. Some friends of mine, one of which I’ve known since before I could walk, were just back in New York and were nice enough to bring me back some pizza from Anthony’s. Just so happens, Anthony’s in Huntington is the best pizza on the planet. There is a lot of great pizza in New York, and I haven’t tasted most if it, but there is simply no way you can improve on perfection. See Jessica Alba’s ass? There’s just no way it can be any better. It could be in my apartment, which would make the location better, but that wouldn’t actually improve the ass in question.
Just about anytime these friends go back east, or his parents come out to visit, I end up not only with some pie but some childhood memories. And I totally love those little time portals. It could be a song that suddenly snaps you back to a particular time in your life, or the smell of mom cooking your favorite meal and you get slapped upside your head with deja vu. You get slapped upside your head with deja vu. Sorry, really thought that preview for the Denzel Washington movie was clever, even if the movie didn’t appear to be at all interesting.
Simon and Garfunkle, Neil Diamond and Olivia Newton-John aren’t likely to be found on my iPod but hearing any of their songs will take me back to being 7 years old and I can smell the Windex on Sunday Morning as mom cleans the house with to the aforementioned artists records play. That’s right, I said records. Couldn’t get rowdy around the record player or they’d skip, which could result in a scratch and that brings out un-happy dad. He wasn’t that much fun, well till I got a little older and now he’s pure entertainment.
There’s something funny about childhood memories, the ones that stay with us the longer aren’t usually the ones you’d expect. At least for me anyway, it’s more often the memory of something as boring as the road trips from New York to Cleveland. At the time I dreaded spending 8 hours in an ’83 Honda Accord with my brother, sister and parents. Logistically I can’t even see how we were ever comfortable, but I don’t remember at all being cramped.
So I know that there is maybe a snowballs chance in hell that there could be pizza that could actually taste better than Anthony’s, but as sure as I am that I’m sitting here avoiding work, I know that no pizza will ever come close. You think that statement made no sense, but I promise it makes perfect sense. Now, if I just wish that I could leave work and go home to organize my baseball cards while eating a slice as I listen to Mr. Neil Diamond, then all would be right with the world again.
Just about anytime these friends go back east, or his parents come out to visit, I end up not only with some pie but some childhood memories. And I totally love those little time portals. It could be a song that suddenly snaps you back to a particular time in your life, or the smell of mom cooking your favorite meal and you get slapped upside your head with deja vu. You get slapped upside your head with deja vu. Sorry, really thought that preview for the Denzel Washington movie was clever, even if the movie didn’t appear to be at all interesting.
Simon and Garfunkle, Neil Diamond and Olivia Newton-John aren’t likely to be found on my iPod but hearing any of their songs will take me back to being 7 years old and I can smell the Windex on Sunday Morning as mom cleans the house with to the aforementioned artists records play. That’s right, I said records. Couldn’t get rowdy around the record player or they’d skip, which could result in a scratch and that brings out un-happy dad. He wasn’t that much fun, well till I got a little older and now he’s pure entertainment.
There’s something funny about childhood memories, the ones that stay with us the longer aren’t usually the ones you’d expect. At least for me anyway, it’s more often the memory of something as boring as the road trips from New York to Cleveland. At the time I dreaded spending 8 hours in an ’83 Honda Accord with my brother, sister and parents. Logistically I can’t even see how we were ever comfortable, but I don’t remember at all being cramped.
So I know that there is maybe a snowballs chance in hell that there could be pizza that could actually taste better than Anthony’s, but as sure as I am that I’m sitting here avoiding work, I know that no pizza will ever come close. You think that statement made no sense, but I promise it makes perfect sense. Now, if I just wish that I could leave work and go home to organize my baseball cards while eating a slice as I listen to Mr. Neil Diamond, then all would be right with the world again.
December 15, 2006
WWHD
Everyone loves to daydream about what they would do if they won the lottery. Every time I drive by a Powerball billboard, I start mapping out how I’d live the high life. Oh, trust me; I have a great plan in place. They say money doesn’t buy happiness, let me win the lottery. I’ll prove ‘em wrong. Or it’ll be one extravagant depression. It might help if I would actually purchase a ticket. I’m not a statistician, but I’m pretty sure that would greatly improve my odds. Instead, some friends and I (one of whom actually is a statistician) have decided we would put our brains together and we applied to audition for the World Series of Pop Culture.
Well, we were accepted and we’re going to Austin in February to audition. This is where the day dreaming about a big pay day comes into play. The grand prize is $250,000, a might handsome prize I might add. And so I’ve begun to daydream about “what if.” I’ve learned $250,000 is a great big number, but split three ways after taxes it isn’t nearly as much as you think. We’re talking about $60,000 or so each. And don’t get me wrong, I can always use an extra 60 grand, but it isn’t an amount that you can go crazy with.
In fact it’s the perfect amount to be a huge help. It could be a nice down payment on an impressive but not lavish condo, some investments and enough to erase my debts leaving me with roughly $15,000 to really enjoy. You can have a lot of fun with $15,000; you just have to be real careful about it. One trip to Vegas could easily wipe you out. It’s not going to buy you a fancy sports car, and it’s not like you could just take a month off work to travel.
So, imagine you had no real debt any more, and you’re handed 15k, how do you spend it? If you have kids, it probably all goes to their college funds. If you don’t have kids, you might go party and get drunk enough that you’ll have some little ones in oh, about nine months. And then you’re right back where you started, up to your ears in debt daydreaming about a big payday.
Well, we were accepted and we’re going to Austin in February to audition. This is where the day dreaming about a big pay day comes into play. The grand prize is $250,000, a might handsome prize I might add. And so I’ve begun to daydream about “what if.” I’ve learned $250,000 is a great big number, but split three ways after taxes it isn’t nearly as much as you think. We’re talking about $60,000 or so each. And don’t get me wrong, I can always use an extra 60 grand, but it isn’t an amount that you can go crazy with.
In fact it’s the perfect amount to be a huge help. It could be a nice down payment on an impressive but not lavish condo, some investments and enough to erase my debts leaving me with roughly $15,000 to really enjoy. You can have a lot of fun with $15,000; you just have to be real careful about it. One trip to Vegas could easily wipe you out. It’s not going to buy you a fancy sports car, and it’s not like you could just take a month off work to travel.
So, imagine you had no real debt any more, and you’re handed 15k, how do you spend it? If you have kids, it probably all goes to their college funds. If you don’t have kids, you might go party and get drunk enough that you’ll have some little ones in oh, about nine months. And then you’re right back where you started, up to your ears in debt daydreaming about a big payday.
Hirpasm
Okay, maybe I’m just getting old and losing my mind, but this made no sense to me. Yesterday on my lunch break I went to get a new social security card. Seems I lost mine, and since my driver’s license expired (some thing to do with a birthday) I need the card to get a new license. I head over there, take my number and wait. Finally my number gets called, and I approach the ever so cheerful clerk. Hand over my paperwork and it turns out, they can’t give me a new card just yet. Seems that my driver’s license is expired, and that’s a problem.
Oh, it gets better. They can, and did, give me a piece of paper that I can use to go get my driver’s license, and after that I can come back and get a new social security card. Now, someone please explain to me how this makes any sense at all. For starters, I thought an expired driver’s license just meant I couldn’t drive. I had no idea it meant my identity expired. Did I suddenly stop being me? I haven’t felt any different. How does anything get done in Washington?
********************
People die, its part of life and usually comes at the end, the very very end. It’s sad, it sucks and it’s never fun to hear about. Last night I was watching the news as they talked about some guys who were climbing a mountain and they are now missing, with the big fear being they are either already dead or soon will be. Now, that sucks. It does, mainly for their friends and family. But should this really be big news? They were climbing a friggin’ mountain, one of the risks that goes along with doing so, is you may not come back down.
Steve Irwin swims with a Sting Ray and he gets stuck and died, big sob story. These guys go up a mountain and might not come down, and it’s big news. My point is, they knew the risks so it’s not a tragedy. If anything it just kind of proves they aren’t all that bright. Say you have a kid, and he’s 14. You’ve told your kid not to touch the stove because it’s hot, the kid understands the concept of getting burned and on their own they decide they don’t want to get burned. Now, they decide what the hell, put their hand right on the stove, I feel bad when they’re in pain, but give me a break. This isn’t a toddler, who had to learn a lesson the hard way; he’s old enough to know what happens when you play with fire.
Irwin got burned, and now it looks like these other guys might have been burned too. I’m sorry for their families, and it sucks that their dead. But it was their choice and I highly doubt they wanted the world to hear about how they made a bad decision. Put something that’s actually relevant on the news, like Britney went out this week and she even wore panties.
Oh, it gets better. They can, and did, give me a piece of paper that I can use to go get my driver’s license, and after that I can come back and get a new social security card. Now, someone please explain to me how this makes any sense at all. For starters, I thought an expired driver’s license just meant I couldn’t drive. I had no idea it meant my identity expired. Did I suddenly stop being me? I haven’t felt any different. How does anything get done in Washington?
********************
People die, its part of life and usually comes at the end, the very very end. It’s sad, it sucks and it’s never fun to hear about. Last night I was watching the news as they talked about some guys who were climbing a mountain and they are now missing, with the big fear being they are either already dead or soon will be. Now, that sucks. It does, mainly for their friends and family. But should this really be big news? They were climbing a friggin’ mountain, one of the risks that goes along with doing so, is you may not come back down.
Steve Irwin swims with a Sting Ray and he gets stuck and died, big sob story. These guys go up a mountain and might not come down, and it’s big news. My point is, they knew the risks so it’s not a tragedy. If anything it just kind of proves they aren’t all that bright. Say you have a kid, and he’s 14. You’ve told your kid not to touch the stove because it’s hot, the kid understands the concept of getting burned and on their own they decide they don’t want to get burned. Now, they decide what the hell, put their hand right on the stove, I feel bad when they’re in pain, but give me a break. This isn’t a toddler, who had to learn a lesson the hard way; he’s old enough to know what happens when you play with fire.
Irwin got burned, and now it looks like these other guys might have been burned too. I’m sorry for their families, and it sucks that their dead. But it was their choice and I highly doubt they wanted the world to hear about how they made a bad decision. Put something that’s actually relevant on the news, like Britney went out this week and she even wore panties.
December 14, 2006
Hirp and the Hick
Damn you Kramer, damn you to WB Hell. Everyone got so focused, and rightfully so, on his meltdown, we missed the long awaited comeback of poster child for Foot in Mouth disease. But thanks to a column on ESPN.com by the Jeff Pearlman, the man who conducted the now infamous interview for SI, we have found Rocker again. And wouldn’t ya know it, he’s still a complete fucking moron.
Last we saw of him was a comeback attempt in the independent leagues that had him pitching out on Long Island. While there he found the strike zone about as often Ray Charles finds the light switch, or Dubya finds WMDs. So, he never made it back and some how found himself at a keyboard working on a book. Should be a real gem. And he took the time to sit down in New York City, along with his gorgeous black girlfriend, and be interviewed by deadspin.com (http://www.deadspin.com/sports/baseball/our-interview-with-john-rocker-221509.php )
Take a minute to read that and come back.
Okay, done? I’m trusting that you read it. And you probably need a moment to regain your composure. You may have laughed your ass off, or you may have punched a wall. Either response is completely understandable.
Now it’s time to nit-pick every thing the moron said. Let the games being:
When you guys walk down the street, and people see that you're John Rocker, do they say anything?
I don't ever make eye contact with people on the street. I've become like a New Yorker in that way. People want to say, "Hey, has John Rocker changed, has he turned over a new leaf?" I haven't changed at all. I don't understand why it's so hard for journalists to admit that I haven't changed; they were just wrong.
Okay, for starters John, you are like a New Yorker in one way. You’re loud, and you annoy pretty much anyone who isn’t like you. That’s it. Secondly, how do you start by saying you’ve “become” like something, then in the next sentence say you haven’t changed at all? Do you practice at contradicting yourself, or is just a natural skill?
Just to ask for the millionth time: Do you regret the interview? You didn't really pitch much after that.
If it would have been portrayed in the correct version, no. The way the sucker punch was done, yeah, it was horseshit. Every dark cloud has a sun behind it, though; there's a lot of things I can do now that I wouldn't have been able to do had it not been for that article. It's opened a lot of doors. I know a lot of players who had a lot better careers than me, but when they retired, you never see or hear from them again. For some reason, people still have interest in me. Without that article, I wouldn't be writing a book. When you go into a restaurant and the maitre'd says, "Come on in, sit down," that's when you don't mind it. When you're at Bungalow 8, and the bouncer won't let you in because he's Dominican, well, that's when it's not so good.
That really happened?
Yeah, even though two or three of my best friends are Dominican or Puerto Rican. And her, of course. (points to Alicia)
So you aren’t sure if there is two or three of your “best friends” and you aren’t sure if they are Dominican or Puerto Rican. Wow, what a friend. I know, you probably don’t know cause you obviously don’t care. But you should probably know these close friends well enough to know that Dominicans don’t like being called Puerto Ricans and vice versa.
How far along with the book are you?
I've got about 70 pages written. I've put it on hold for a bit until I find a publisher. When the deal is done, I'll finish it up over the course of the next couple of months. That's the thing, though: When people have an agenda, that's all that matters. Jeff Pearlman is who he is: A liberal Jew from New York. He's one of their own, who spent a couple of hours with me, pulled things out of context, and you're trying to create a persona of an individual when you don't know them. You look at Michael Irvin, and Michael's a friend of mine –
I don’t even know where to start here. I’m giddy. In the previous quote he goes on saying how the perception of people from the South is they are all racist hicks. Now he’s saying that Pearlman is a liberal Jew from New York. So it’s inaccurate to say all Southerns like himself are racist hicks, but totally acceptable to say all New York Jews are liberal? Gotcha. And for the record, New Yorkers are just smarter than Southerners, as are Jews. So when you have a Jewish New Yorker, well you have the foundation for the master race. Of course they’re gonna be liberal.
Now, he also claims to be buddies with Michael Irvin, and although I didn’t print it here, he goes on to out Irvins continued drug use. Man, he is a good guy, we were all wrong about him. He doesn’t know what race his friends are, and he publicly talks about their drug use. I wanna hang out with John!
At the end he rips on the man who traded him, Braves GM John Schuerholz. The only thing he ever did wrong was drafting Rocker. And to say Scherholz has the worst case of “Little Man Syndrome” well John, it’s time we met. Is “stupid hick” as redundant as “liberal New York Jew”? Ladies and Gentlemen, author John Rocker, he puts the moron in oxymoron.
Last we saw of him was a comeback attempt in the independent leagues that had him pitching out on Long Island. While there he found the strike zone about as often Ray Charles finds the light switch, or Dubya finds WMDs. So, he never made it back and some how found himself at a keyboard working on a book. Should be a real gem. And he took the time to sit down in New York City, along with his gorgeous black girlfriend, and be interviewed by deadspin.com (http://www.deadspin.com/sports/baseball/our-interview-with-john-rocker-221509.php )
Take a minute to read that and come back.
Okay, done? I’m trusting that you read it. And you probably need a moment to regain your composure. You may have laughed your ass off, or you may have punched a wall. Either response is completely understandable.
Now it’s time to nit-pick every thing the moron said. Let the games being:
When you guys walk down the street, and people see that you're John Rocker, do they say anything?
I don't ever make eye contact with people on the street. I've become like a New Yorker in that way. People want to say, "Hey, has John Rocker changed, has he turned over a new leaf?" I haven't changed at all. I don't understand why it's so hard for journalists to admit that I haven't changed; they were just wrong.
Okay, for starters John, you are like a New Yorker in one way. You’re loud, and you annoy pretty much anyone who isn’t like you. That’s it. Secondly, how do you start by saying you’ve “become” like something, then in the next sentence say you haven’t changed at all? Do you practice at contradicting yourself, or is just a natural skill?
Just to ask for the millionth time: Do you regret the interview? You didn't really pitch much after that.
If it would have been portrayed in the correct version, no. The way the sucker punch was done, yeah, it was horseshit. Every dark cloud has a sun behind it, though; there's a lot of things I can do now that I wouldn't have been able to do had it not been for that article. It's opened a lot of doors. I know a lot of players who had a lot better careers than me, but when they retired, you never see or hear from them again. For some reason, people still have interest in me. Without that article, I wouldn't be writing a book. When you go into a restaurant and the maitre'd says, "Come on in, sit down," that's when you don't mind it. When you're at Bungalow 8, and the bouncer won't let you in because he's Dominican, well, that's when it's not so good.
That really happened?
Yeah, even though two or three of my best friends are Dominican or Puerto Rican. And her, of course. (points to Alicia)
So you aren’t sure if there is two or three of your “best friends” and you aren’t sure if they are Dominican or Puerto Rican. Wow, what a friend. I know, you probably don’t know cause you obviously don’t care. But you should probably know these close friends well enough to know that Dominicans don’t like being called Puerto Ricans and vice versa.
How far along with the book are you?
I've got about 70 pages written. I've put it on hold for a bit until I find a publisher. When the deal is done, I'll finish it up over the course of the next couple of months. That's the thing, though: When people have an agenda, that's all that matters. Jeff Pearlman is who he is: A liberal Jew from New York. He's one of their own, who spent a couple of hours with me, pulled things out of context, and you're trying to create a persona of an individual when you don't know them. You look at Michael Irvin, and Michael's a friend of mine –
I don’t even know where to start here. I’m giddy. In the previous quote he goes on saying how the perception of people from the South is they are all racist hicks. Now he’s saying that Pearlman is a liberal Jew from New York. So it’s inaccurate to say all Southerns like himself are racist hicks, but totally acceptable to say all New York Jews are liberal? Gotcha. And for the record, New Yorkers are just smarter than Southerners, as are Jews. So when you have a Jewish New Yorker, well you have the foundation for the master race. Of course they’re gonna be liberal.
Now, he also claims to be buddies with Michael Irvin, and although I didn’t print it here, he goes on to out Irvins continued drug use. Man, he is a good guy, we were all wrong about him. He doesn’t know what race his friends are, and he publicly talks about their drug use. I wanna hang out with John!
At the end he rips on the man who traded him, Braves GM John Schuerholz. The only thing he ever did wrong was drafting Rocker. And to say Scherholz has the worst case of “Little Man Syndrome” well John, it’s time we met. Is “stupid hick” as redundant as “liberal New York Jew”? Ladies and Gentlemen, author John Rocker, he puts the moron in oxymoron.
December 13, 2006
Justifiable HIRPocide
Believe it or not I have some new things to add to the ever growing list of things that annoy Hirp. Recently I was at a McDonalds, big surprise I know, and the place wasn’t very busy. I’m in line paying, and the lady behind me is practically up my ass she’s standing so close. Seriously, I never liked the phrase “personal space,” I always thought it sounded whiney and was something only said by therapists. But there’s no other way to say it. This bitch was in my space. I can understand being crammed in a busy place, such as an airport, a mall on the weekends, blackjack tables, and standing at the bar. But if I can’t turn without my elbow hitting you, you are too close. And I think I have every right to extend my elbow and turn so that my elbow cracks the offenders’ nose. Unfortunately I’m a short, so my elbow won’t line up with most noses.
Also I made a recent run through the McDonalds drive-thru, (so I might be spending too much time at McDonalds) and the idiots that crowd you at the counter have cousins who annoy me outside the restaurant. These are the brilliant people who never pull up far enough. They leave a good 8-10 feet between their car and the car ahead of them. So I have my window down, ready to order but I’m 8 feet away from the speaker when they ask for my order. I won’t even bother attempting to place my order, they have enough trouble hearing me and getting the order right when I’m right in front of the speaker. So now the pimple faced kid with the metal mouth thinks I’m just taking my sweet ass time, and he’s probably getting annoyed that he can’t be at home looking at the new pictures of a panty-less Britney. And he’s going to touch my food? I don’t even want to guess at what he does to my burger, all because this nimrod ahead of me won’t move his rusty Delta 88 up 8 feet. I guarantee this is the same piece of work that is never ready to pay at the grocery store.
These are just some of the reasons that helped me to decide that if I ever run for office, I’m changing what is covered by “justifiable homicide” I could be a little bit jaded, but I’m starting to think some people just need to be killed. And I don’t mean to sound like Klebold or the Unabomber. I don’t have some agenda nor do I feel this way because I wear a black trench coat. It just makes good sense at this time. For a long time I thought the best job I could have, would be to decide who can and can’t have children. I guess this means George Bush has influenced me, and that’s pretty sad to admit. Not that the getting them before they get us mind set has worked for him. Really though, there are too many stupid people on this planet. And most of them seem to land in positions of power, or at MU.
This week I’m house sitting for a friend, and there’s something about one of the restrooms that bothers me. When sitting on a toilet, doing your business, you should never have a mirror in front of you. Knowing what veins pop out on my head just isn’t any kind of info I ever needed, or wanted to have. Now I don’t believe the architect should die for this, but someone should leave the plunger in the toilet and let him see what kind of expression he makes when he sits down.
Also I made a recent run through the McDonalds drive-thru, (so I might be spending too much time at McDonalds) and the idiots that crowd you at the counter have cousins who annoy me outside the restaurant. These are the brilliant people who never pull up far enough. They leave a good 8-10 feet between their car and the car ahead of them. So I have my window down, ready to order but I’m 8 feet away from the speaker when they ask for my order. I won’t even bother attempting to place my order, they have enough trouble hearing me and getting the order right when I’m right in front of the speaker. So now the pimple faced kid with the metal mouth thinks I’m just taking my sweet ass time, and he’s probably getting annoyed that he can’t be at home looking at the new pictures of a panty-less Britney. And he’s going to touch my food? I don’t even want to guess at what he does to my burger, all because this nimrod ahead of me won’t move his rusty Delta 88 up 8 feet. I guarantee this is the same piece of work that is never ready to pay at the grocery store.
These are just some of the reasons that helped me to decide that if I ever run for office, I’m changing what is covered by “justifiable homicide” I could be a little bit jaded, but I’m starting to think some people just need to be killed. And I don’t mean to sound like Klebold or the Unabomber. I don’t have some agenda nor do I feel this way because I wear a black trench coat. It just makes good sense at this time. For a long time I thought the best job I could have, would be to decide who can and can’t have children. I guess this means George Bush has influenced me, and that’s pretty sad to admit. Not that the getting them before they get us mind set has worked for him. Really though, there are too many stupid people on this planet. And most of them seem to land in positions of power, or at MU.
This week I’m house sitting for a friend, and there’s something about one of the restrooms that bothers me. When sitting on a toilet, doing your business, you should never have a mirror in front of you. Knowing what veins pop out on my head just isn’t any kind of info I ever needed, or wanted to have. Now I don’t believe the architect should die for this, but someone should leave the plunger in the toilet and let him see what kind of expression he makes when he sits down.
December 11, 2006
Man Up Ladies?!
Recently I was catching up with an old friend. And this friend had recently been at a Laker game where he sat near Lindsay Lohan. So our conversation found its way to analyzing these women of today. The Britneys, the Simpson girls and Paris, and the current generation of women in general. Not that any of the mentioned women are really a fair barometer for all women, but they aren’t completely off the chart either.
In Simpson you have the girl from the south, raised in the Church and a woman who shamelessly made her private life very public. Lohan is the girl from New York who says she just wants the media to let her live her life, but doesn’t do anything to help her cause. She chain smokes and parties. Her fathers’ trips to rehab and jail are as covered as Robert Downey Jr’s trips were a few years ago. And both women are moguls in their own right. In some respects, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, they are role models to young girls. If only for their professional, well for lack of a better word, accomplishments.
But that isn’t my point. What I see in these two, is behavior we see in the females of that generation. Hold on, it’s taking me a minute to accept that we’re actually of different generations. Okay, I’ve regained most of my composure so that I can solider on. We’re back on track now. I haven't been able to narrow it down to a specific date or event, but at some point women became more manly then those of us with the equipment. And this is not a good thing.
I’m not some backwards thinking jackass who thinks a womans place is in the kitchen and raising children. I think they can do anything they want, and they should. I also happen to think they are better than men. Like how I think KU hoops is better than MU hoops, I hold each to different standards. This may or may not be fair, but it’s honest. And the women of today are far from meeting these standards. They do amazing things. They raise families, have careers, and most of them would change their own oil before I would.
But at what price? I’ve been around way too many women who were awfully comfortable with their bodily functions. This started when I was in high school, but it was still some what rare. Now, it’s common for them to belch and laugh proudly at their gas. Sorry, this isn’t even a little bit cute. It’s not even cute when my nieces or nephews do it, it’s sure as hell not attractive when my buddies do it. I joke that I don’t believe women have gas and that they don’t fart or even poop. I know they do, I just like to think they don’t. Those are gross things for men to do for the single purpose of upsetting women. It doesn’t make a girl “one of the guys” if she can burp louder than a truck driver.
Just like it doesn’t make a woman any more attractive if she brags about her conquests. I’m glad you enjoyed “Sex in the City” and maybe it was a look behind the veil at women’s lives. But, let’s leave it at a peek.
So I asked my friend why he thought women had started to act like this, or at least do so openly. He believes he has to do with porn, and how accessible it has become in recent years. I can’t say I agree with him, not even a little bit. For starters, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell it’s that simple. At the same time he made the point that men today don’t have any kind of Rat Pack to look up to. No longer is there Leo and his “pussy posse”. In fact the guys in Hollywood, who are still getting press for who they bed, are the older guys like Clooney and Farrell. And the only men who suddenly became Saints are Reggie Bush and Drew Brees.
So what happened? Well, my opinion may very well make me sound like I’m a devout Republican. The single biggest cause behind the “Maning Up” of women is the single parent homes. Seriously. This is coming from a liberal Jew, not the Christian Coalition.
This isn’t at all meant as a dig on single moms who make up the majority of single parent homes; on the contrary it’s more of a dig on men. Kids are being raised by women, which has always been true, but now mom is playing both roles. Boys and girls are seeing their mothers bust their asses to move up the corporate ladder, come home and put on two hats. The result, in my opinion, is a mom who doesn’t feel she has to be feminine as much as their married counter part. So maybe they burp without worrying about will it gross out their spouse. Also, they end up dating, as they should. But seeing mom go out on a few dates, is obviously going to have some impact on the rug rats.
I can’t stand the thought of my parents having sex, to this day I still like to believe a stork dropped me off at the front door. But if kids grow up with their parents dating, well sex is part of dating so they’re going to get exposed to it in a much different way. And being raised by women hasn’t just changed the behavior of women. Look at the whole “metro-sexual” phenomenon. It’s to be expected when a boy grows up with mostly women role models. So the real cause behind this is men who aren’t holding up their end of the bargain. Not to say all kids who grow up with divorced parents are without two good parents, I know that it’s not true. And I know some single parents who read this site, I’m not saying your daughters are going to grow up to be Lindsay Lohan or your sons are going to be David Beckham. But you can’t be surprised if you leave it up to mom to do everything, that the kids will be more like her. The good and the bad. The Spears and the Aniston.
In Simpson you have the girl from the south, raised in the Church and a woman who shamelessly made her private life very public. Lohan is the girl from New York who says she just wants the media to let her live her life, but doesn’t do anything to help her cause. She chain smokes and parties. Her fathers’ trips to rehab and jail are as covered as Robert Downey Jr’s trips were a few years ago. And both women are moguls in their own right. In some respects, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, they are role models to young girls. If only for their professional, well for lack of a better word, accomplishments.
But that isn’t my point. What I see in these two, is behavior we see in the females of that generation. Hold on, it’s taking me a minute to accept that we’re actually of different generations. Okay, I’ve regained most of my composure so that I can solider on. We’re back on track now. I haven't been able to narrow it down to a specific date or event, but at some point women became more manly then those of us with the equipment. And this is not a good thing.
I’m not some backwards thinking jackass who thinks a womans place is in the kitchen and raising children. I think they can do anything they want, and they should. I also happen to think they are better than men. Like how I think KU hoops is better than MU hoops, I hold each to different standards. This may or may not be fair, but it’s honest. And the women of today are far from meeting these standards. They do amazing things. They raise families, have careers, and most of them would change their own oil before I would.
But at what price? I’ve been around way too many women who were awfully comfortable with their bodily functions. This started when I was in high school, but it was still some what rare. Now, it’s common for them to belch and laugh proudly at their gas. Sorry, this isn’t even a little bit cute. It’s not even cute when my nieces or nephews do it, it’s sure as hell not attractive when my buddies do it. I joke that I don’t believe women have gas and that they don’t fart or even poop. I know they do, I just like to think they don’t. Those are gross things for men to do for the single purpose of upsetting women. It doesn’t make a girl “one of the guys” if she can burp louder than a truck driver.
Just like it doesn’t make a woman any more attractive if she brags about her conquests. I’m glad you enjoyed “Sex in the City” and maybe it was a look behind the veil at women’s lives. But, let’s leave it at a peek.
So I asked my friend why he thought women had started to act like this, or at least do so openly. He believes he has to do with porn, and how accessible it has become in recent years. I can’t say I agree with him, not even a little bit. For starters, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell it’s that simple. At the same time he made the point that men today don’t have any kind of Rat Pack to look up to. No longer is there Leo and his “pussy posse”. In fact the guys in Hollywood, who are still getting press for who they bed, are the older guys like Clooney and Farrell. And the only men who suddenly became Saints are Reggie Bush and Drew Brees.
So what happened? Well, my opinion may very well make me sound like I’m a devout Republican. The single biggest cause behind the “Maning Up” of women is the single parent homes. Seriously. This is coming from a liberal Jew, not the Christian Coalition.
This isn’t at all meant as a dig on single moms who make up the majority of single parent homes; on the contrary it’s more of a dig on men. Kids are being raised by women, which has always been true, but now mom is playing both roles. Boys and girls are seeing their mothers bust their asses to move up the corporate ladder, come home and put on two hats. The result, in my opinion, is a mom who doesn’t feel she has to be feminine as much as their married counter part. So maybe they burp without worrying about will it gross out their spouse. Also, they end up dating, as they should. But seeing mom go out on a few dates, is obviously going to have some impact on the rug rats.
I can’t stand the thought of my parents having sex, to this day I still like to believe a stork dropped me off at the front door. But if kids grow up with their parents dating, well sex is part of dating so they’re going to get exposed to it in a much different way. And being raised by women hasn’t just changed the behavior of women. Look at the whole “metro-sexual” phenomenon. It’s to be expected when a boy grows up with mostly women role models. So the real cause behind this is men who aren’t holding up their end of the bargain. Not to say all kids who grow up with divorced parents are without two good parents, I know that it’s not true. And I know some single parents who read this site, I’m not saying your daughters are going to grow up to be Lindsay Lohan or your sons are going to be David Beckham. But you can’t be surprised if you leave it up to mom to do everything, that the kids will be more like her. The good and the bad. The Spears and the Aniston.
December 01, 2006
SuppoHIRP The Troops
Here is something I received as a forward online this evening. Take a second to read it, below it is my reaction to this:
A United States Soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor
was out cold. The Soldier went back to his seat and sat there,
silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Soldier and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Soldier calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. ...............So, He sent me."
Re-post this if you support the military men & women
Okay, done? You won’t believe this, but this pissed me off. And at the same time, it brought to light some of the very points I’ve tried to make both here and in conversations. Now, let’s assume this actually took place. It could have, I just doubt it. First of all, the fact that this soldier would assault, yes assault, the professor be-little our troops more than any “bring ‘em home rally”. Should we be more worried that our soldier is supposedly hearing what he thinks is God speaking to him, or that he feels it’s okay to go hit someone cause the voices in his head say to?
This is the type of bullshit the Religious right spreads that highlights just how ignorant they are. Assuming it really did take place, the soldier in the story had the typical Religious right reaction. He didn’t wait to get the point of the professors lesson, he just assumed God wanted him to react with violence. Now none of us, who read this, will know what the Professor was trying to teach. Maybe it was something called tolerance. The “hero” in this story knew three things: the Professors religious beliefs, his political stance and that he challenged God. Rather than listen to him, he attacked him. Then of course he had the reason of, “God sent me,” expunging himself of any responsibility of his actions. He sounds like he’s George W. Bush himself.
I might catch some flack for “attacking an American soldier” in my blog. But, let’s be clear on this. I didn’t attack anyone, “he” did. I have taken the time to give my opinion, and am giving anyone who sees it a chance to respond. In no way does my opinion mean I do not support our troops. On the contrary, I want them all to come home as soon and as safe as possible. I don’t understand how that stance became confused with not supporting them. What this is, is a perfect example of how mankind has fucked up God. People are able to do just about anything, and as long as they say God told them to, they are guaranteed to have some support. And by acting with violence first, we again miss what could have been a pretty valuable lesson.
My favorite part of this was the end, where it says, “re-post this if you support our military men and women.” I’m supposed to feel guilty if I disagree with this and chose not to share it? Well, I posted it. So try and tell me I don’t support the troops. Then pucker up and kiss my ..um, backwards slash.
I think it would be an interesting exercise, to act this situation out in a classroom. Let’s see how the other students react, and the local media. Seriously, this could be one of those hidden camera segments on 20/20 or one of those shows.
A United States Soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor
was out cold. The Soldier went back to his seat and sat there,
silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Soldier and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Soldier calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. ...............So, He sent me."
Re-post this if you support the military men & women
Okay, done? You won’t believe this, but this pissed me off. And at the same time, it brought to light some of the very points I’ve tried to make both here and in conversations. Now, let’s assume this actually took place. It could have, I just doubt it. First of all, the fact that this soldier would assault, yes assault, the professor be-little our troops more than any “bring ‘em home rally”. Should we be more worried that our soldier is supposedly hearing what he thinks is God speaking to him, or that he feels it’s okay to go hit someone cause the voices in his head say to?
This is the type of bullshit the Religious right spreads that highlights just how ignorant they are. Assuming it really did take place, the soldier in the story had the typical Religious right reaction. He didn’t wait to get the point of the professors lesson, he just assumed God wanted him to react with violence. Now none of us, who read this, will know what the Professor was trying to teach. Maybe it was something called tolerance. The “hero” in this story knew three things: the Professors religious beliefs, his political stance and that he challenged God. Rather than listen to him, he attacked him. Then of course he had the reason of, “God sent me,” expunging himself of any responsibility of his actions. He sounds like he’s George W. Bush himself.
I might catch some flack for “attacking an American soldier” in my blog. But, let’s be clear on this. I didn’t attack anyone, “he” did. I have taken the time to give my opinion, and am giving anyone who sees it a chance to respond. In no way does my opinion mean I do not support our troops. On the contrary, I want them all to come home as soon and as safe as possible. I don’t understand how that stance became confused with not supporting them. What this is, is a perfect example of how mankind has fucked up God. People are able to do just about anything, and as long as they say God told them to, they are guaranteed to have some support. And by acting with violence first, we again miss what could have been a pretty valuable lesson.
My favorite part of this was the end, where it says, “re-post this if you support our military men and women.” I’m supposed to feel guilty if I disagree with this and chose not to share it? Well, I posted it. So try and tell me I don’t support the troops. Then pucker up and kiss my ..um, backwards slash.
I think it would be an interesting exercise, to act this situation out in a classroom. Let’s see how the other students react, and the local media. Seriously, this could be one of those hidden camera segments on 20/20 or one of those shows.
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