I am getting pretty excited to see Ocean’s 13 this weekend, and I was thinking how Hollywood likes to find a formula and recycle it a few hundred times. So let’s say they decided to make a chick version of the Oceans series. How would you cast it? Here’s what I came up with.
Danny Ocean (George Clooney) - Jennifer Aniston
Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) – Uma Thurman
Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) – Mary Louise Parker
Virgil Malloy (Casey Affleck) – Lisa Kudrow
Turk Malloy (Scott Caan) – Parker Posey
Livingston Dell (Eddie Jeminson) - Maggie Gyllenhaal
Ruben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould) – Frances McDormand
Frank Catton (Bernie Mac) – Queen Latifah
Yen (Shaobo Qin) – Devon Aoki (Miho from Sin City)
Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner) – Shirley MacLaine
Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle) – Rosario Dawson
Tess Ocean (Julia Roberts) – John Cusak
Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) – Catherine Zeta Jones (I really didn’t want to use someone that was in the Oceans series)
Instead of knocking over three casinos, they’d be knocking over Tiffany’s, DeBeers and I don’t know of a third store.
Let the record show, I didn't use a cast of just the best looking acteresses. There's no Alba, Mcadams, Lohan or Mendes.
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