Killin' It

Let me perfectly clear here, I am not defending Michael Vick. I’ll get to my thoughts on his trial and the accusations in a few, but first I need to air out some people. And by some people, I mean the majority of this country. I want to know how dog fighting is more vicious or cruel than hunting. I’m appalled by the allegations just as everyone else is, however, I think a lot of the people who want to see justice served are just as guilty of being sick bastards.

Maybe I should sit and wait for a response, but instead I’m going to assume what the argument will be and respond accordingly. We all know what happens when you assume though right? I make an ass out of you.

So let me take a stab at what I think I’ll hear: Hunting is a game, it keeps the population of various animals under control, hunting and gathering is in our blood, it isn’t brutal, it’s legal, tradition, and they are killing wild animals. I think that touches on most of the responses I’ll hear.

Well, allow me to retort:
Game: As far as I know, a game takes place when all participants are fully aware they are playing and have an equal chance at victory. Dog fighting is more of a game than hunting.

Population control: Have you seen all the dogs in shelters that are eventually “put down” because they can’t find a home? Also, I think this country has a population problem with bad drivers. Can I start hunting them?

We’re hunters and gatherers by nature: We’re complete idiots by nature. We have big stores that sell food you can prepare or restaurants you can eat in, so you don’t need to kill anything to eat.

Hunting isn’t brutal: Tell me that if you’re neighbor was just out minding his business and caught a bullet in the back of his head that you wouldn’t call it brutal. Just because the killer gets covered in blood after the animal is dead, doesn’t make it any less brutal.

It’s legal: So it is. We have lots of dumb laws. In Columbia Mo, clotheslines are banned but its okay to hang clothes over a fence. (http://www.dumblaws.com/) How about the fact that some 13 year old kid in Oregon is facing the possibility of being branded a sexual predator because he slapped a friend of his, a female, on the butt. They should throw the book at the entire baseball and football team.

Tradition: My people love tradition so much, we have a song called “Tradition,” but that’s a pretty weak ass argument. Maybe I’ll start a new tradition, from here on out it’s tradition to slap a dumbass.

Wild animals: So Bambi isn’t a pet of yours and Cujo is. I’m still pretty sure you wouldn’t dog sit for Michael Vick if he asked you.

So tell me, why is dog fighting so much worse than hunting? Animals are being killed for the pleasure and entertainment of humans. This reminds me a lot of how so many “pro-choice” citizens are also in favor of the death penalty. It isn’t about morality, it’s about power. It’s who wants to say who can do what.