November Rant, Part I

• At what point will Christmas become a year round annoyance? I saw “holiday” decorations in various retail establishments before Halloween. Are we thinking 2011, or sooner?

• I never dress up for Halloween, but that doesn’t keep me from coming up with ideas for a costume if I ever were to do so. My all-time favorite has been “Jew-Pac,” even though I googled it once and found someone else had come up with the same idea. Asshole. But my idea for this year, is regional as well as original. I’d walk around with a golden parachute and a bag of money, about $55 million. That’s right, I’d be Gary Forsee. Wonder how that would have gone over at our office costume contest. Would I win, or get fired?


• Worst apology of the week: “My sincerest, heartfelt apologies go out to every person I have offended for my regrettable use of very inappropriate language. I am deeply disappointed in myself for speaking out of anger to my son and using such a hateful term in a private phone conversation." He was on the right track, although he was full of shit, till he had to mention that it was a private phone conversation. Just a little something to make us feel bad for ease dropping? This is the guy who makes his money invading peoples homes, he’s a sensitive bitc-er..dog. Wonder how much help he’ll get from the community now, when he’s trying to catch a con. Best of all, he even said he didn’t want it coming out to the Enquirer that he was using such language and have that cost him his career. Oh the irony. And hey, get a friggin’ haircut, ass wipe.

Chapman: Don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore, whatever. It's not 'cause she's black. It's because we use the word "n_____" sometimes here. I'm not going to take a chance ever in life by losing everything I've worked for for 30 years for some f____ n_____ heard us say "n_____" and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine -- our career is over. I'm not taking that chance at all, never in life, never. Never. ... If Lyssa was dating a n_____, we would all say f___ you. And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home ... It's not that they're black. It's none of that. It's that we use the word "n____." We don't mean "you f___ scum n_____ without a soul." We don't mean that s___, but America would think we're meaning that. And we're not taking a chance and losing everything we've got over a racial slur. Because our son goes with a girl like that, I can't do that, Tucker, you can't expect Garry, Bonnie, Cecily, all them young kids ... 'cause I'm in love for seven months, I ... f___ that. ... So I'll help you get another job, but you cannot work here unless you break up with her and she's out of your life. I can't handle that s___. I've got 'em in the parking lot trying to record us. I've got that girl saying she's going to wear a recorder. ...

The phrase, “never say never,” comes to mind.