Jstbitchin

I am Jack’s whiney cry baby. I’m not real happy with myself, but I’m also not real thrilled with my folks. We knew it was coming, and I’m reminded of a scene from Fletch.

Dr. Joseph Dolan: You know, it's a shame about Ed.
Fletch: Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was dying for years.
Fletch: Sure, but... the end was very... very sudden.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
Fletch: Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden.

For about eight years I’ve known my parents planned to retire to Arizona. They put their house on the market in July, and it seemed a little more plausible, and I still didn’t really accept it. With this economy and housing market, selling a villa on a street in which six are for sale could, and should, take at least a year. It didn’t. They got an offer, and it was low. They countered, and were countered back. Then they accepted. They were given three and a half weeks to pack up and move. Nearly one third will be spent looking for a new house in Arizaon. So, as Fletch said, at the end, it was extremely sudden.

I’ve gone from pretty sad, thinking about how they’re about to miss the Kyd’s 7th birthday, the wife’s birthday and my own. All of which take place in November, incase you’re wondering how many shopping days you have. They’re going to be gone for Thanksgiving, and the plan was for my brother and his family to come up, which had us all (especially the Kyd) very excited. They won’t be here to light the Menorah, and probably won’t get to see the Kyd cheerleading a flag football game. Sadness gave away to anger, for all those same points and more. Parents aren’t supposed to leave their kids, it’s supposed to be the other way around. I always felt like I missed out, because I never lived near my extended family. I didn’t have grandparent at baseball games. Aunts and uncle’s didn’t come to my birthdays. I wanted different for my kyd, and luckily she still has that with her mom and dad’s family. Which, quite honestly, makes my families absence that much more apparent.

I want to be happy for my parents, that they are in a position both financially and physically, that they can go and spend, as they call it, the final chapter of their lives away from winter. But at the same time, being the final chapter, why would anyone want to be in a hurry to start that chapter? Just when this chapter is finally such a great read?

And of course, I’m pretty annoyed with myself for not handling this the way I’d like to. I wish I was just happy for them, and excited that we’ll be taking some trips out to Arizona. But I am Jack’s selfish bastard.