JstRant

Maybe I’m a bigot of sorts. Or just too narrow minded, or maybe I’m best described as a snob. Or all three and then some. Last night I took the Kyd to her cheerleading practice, which is organized by her fathers Church. So we get there early, par for the Hirp course, and the Kyd wants to go hang out in the bookstore. Par for the Kyd course, she loves books.

So instead of just wandering with her through the aisles, and just enjoying her enthusiasm (which I still enjoyed) I was stuck in my head making cracks about the titles and just looking for things to rant about. Like the fact that every book cover had the whitest, squarest looking people. I notice how the titles and authors seem to just follow a formula, title start with “the” and is followed by an adjective that drums up the most dramatic apocalyptic images, such as “Parting” or “Found” or “Forgiven.”

This bugs me, but really, it could have just been a play out of John Grisham or Stephen King’s playbooks. But since the theme is Christ, and not a hot shot lawyer, it raises my most cynical flag. I make no bones about it, I have issues with organized religion. Not just those that pray to Jesus. Those just come up more, because frankly, they seem to be more outspoken themselves.

And I can’t get over this Church. It’s huge. It’s plush, with their nice café, impressive teenage hangout and their fully equipped stage that’s more high tech than anything in Lawrence or Westport. The money spent here, well, I can’t help but think about what good it could have done. I just looked it up, and its 150,000 square feet. I’m guessing at least $20 million.

But now I’m stuck thinking about me, what the hell is wrong with me? So what if it cost $20 million, and so what if the books and CD’s have an agenda, it’s not as if anyone is being tricked into coming here. Thousands of people come here, and they get something from coming. Good for them. But I can’t let it go that easily.

I can’t help but notice how often I hear the other parents bring up God or Jesus. A girl tried to cheer up another on Saturday, and they gave her an award for being “Christ-like.” I think it’s great that she helped her friend, and it should absolutely be brought to everyones attention and that sort of behavior should be re-inforced. But what if I, the agnostic Jew, does something nice for someone? Is it not “Christ like” because of my beliefs? Why can’t we just acknowledge and appreciate a good deed, without grand comparisons?

And these parents, wow. I know they’re parents like any other parents, but there’s something about the fact that we’re at a Church, and they are holding their kids to such high standards, that makes it even worse, in my eyes, when I see what most would agree is less than ideal parenting. While these girls are practicing their cheers, there are little babies wandering around, sometimes taking their sisters pom-poms. And no one seems to notice. When their kids act out, even throw a megaphone at their dad, it’s smiled at. Of course, I have no idea what will happen when they get in the car, but I can’t understand why that isn’t addressed right away.

And the “coach” has zero control, or any kind of influence over the team. She’s obviously learning the routine as she teaches it, and she’s going over four pages of cheers and the corresponding movements in an hours time. Each cheer and action is said three times, doesn’t matter if half the kids are more intoned with the sound their pom-poms make. She doesn’t care that no ones getting it, and anytime her daughter interrupts her, she hugs her and says thanks. Someone needs to call in Cesar, this place needs a pack leader. All of this has absolutely nothing to do with God, religion or this Church. Or does it?

The fact that his is first graders learning cheerleading sounds insignificant, but it isn’t. This is, for most of them, their first expierence with organized sports. This can have a great impact on their self-esteem, social skills and overall health for the rest of their lives. I’d argue that the most important coach any kid ever has, is their first coach. With teachers, the kindergarten or first grade teacher, can really set the wheels in motion for the rest of a kids academic future. But if they don’t connect, there’s going to be a second grade teacher, or a third grade, all the way up through high school, who may get through to the kid. Maybe it never happens, but you’re going to get more chances. But if the first coach fails, a kid may never want to try sports again.

So I can’t help but hold the Church, at least, somewhat responsible. Of course I don’t expect them to recruit 1st grade cheerleading coaches, or check resumes. And it doesn’t matter at all if the coach has any experience with what they’re coaching, but they must care. They have to engage each kid, motivate them and praise them. And they have to be willing to toss a parent out of practice for being over-bearing, or call out a kid who isn’t listening.

I keep hearing them say, that trying is all that matters. Well, that only works when the coaches try too. Going through the motions isn’t given any effort, my high school career proves that. So the cynical flag flies again, and I can’t help but question if this is all just another tool to sell the kids on the Church. As if they are saying, “you come here, and you have fun. You get pom-poms and a cute outfit. We give you treats every week, and your parents smile. This all makes God happy.”

I think it’s great that the Church wants to give the kids things to do, productive things too. But this isn’t just so pure and harmless. They can totally wreck a kid’s confidence, and you can’t pray for confidence. Some kids may never want to play sports, and that’s fine. My wife didn’t particularly enjoy playing softball as a kid, she’s turned out fantastic. I loved playing baseball and basketball, even though I was awful and embarrassed myself on a regular basis. But the great memories always make those moments and after thought.

“That’s alright, that’s okay, Jesus loves you anyway” is one of their cheers. Cute little thing. But does anyone really look at what is being said? Maybe I’m way off here, and first graders are just having fun, but it seems as if this cheer is for after a mistake (they don’t really pay attention to the game, and all the cheers are pretty random). But they aren’t considering the neurotic Jew in the crowd, that’s over analyzing every detail. So Jesus loves them anyway, even if they fumble. Good to know. What about their parents, do they still love them? If Jesus loves the winners and the losers the same, do we really need to point this out? That’s a lot of time and energy spent to bring light to what is no more than a tie in God’s eyes. Making football, and everything else, a giant game of tic-tac-toe.

See, this is why I’ve never smoked pot. I can’t imagine the stupid things I’d obsess about if I ever got high.

So, back to the idea that maybe I'm a bigot. Could be, but I'd never attach these thoughts to religion if this wasn't organized by a Church. This is why I'm glad we keep Church and State seperate. Well, for now anyway....