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September 02, 2009

JstSayin'

What’s the deal with farts and burps? I mean, I think they’re gross too. Ask my wife, she almost never hears or feels one of mine, and I hate it when one slips. But what I don’t understand is; how, and who, determined what bodily functions were offensive. Shouldn’t a sneeze be the largest offense? Ranks highest in germs, has the ability to make a mess, but instead of saying “excuse me,” we get blessed. Or a hiccup, those are just somewhat embarrassing, but only because it gives the impression that you’ve been hitting the bottle. Why are those so innocent, but a burp or fart are damn near felonies?

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I’m just thinking here, but if there’s a sex offender in your neighborhood, and he has a bunch of tents set up in his backyard, this should probably raise some flags with someone. I get that they did their time, and some should be allowed to TRY and become contributing members of society, but when they’re on parole, can’t the cops just drive by every once in a while? They could be on the lookout for something as suspicious as, oh I don’t know, maybe a backyard full of tents. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

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Looking forward to the long weekend, it’s much needed. I know it’s much needed because, last night I couldn’t sleep. And why couldn’t I sleep? I kept seeing Pivot tables and Excel. All sorts of numbers, and at some point, I think I saw a Pivot Table containing statistics on why I couldn’t sleep. So, is it Friday yet? Don’t know what a Pivot Table looks like? Well, please don’t brag.

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