So on this here blog; I use a site that tracks visitors. I get an idea of how many, where they are, and how they found their way to the site. It’s just for my own curiosity. This morning I checked it, and I had a visitor whose IP Provider is listed as “Korea Atomic Energy Research Institute.” The KAERA is located in South Korea, for a second I was worried that I’d end up on some CIA list, and maybe I will. They read a post about Adam Sandler movies. This is all very odd to me, and makes me fear for South Korea.
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I was reading about Moammar Gadhafi last night, just some late night dictator reading. That’s completely normal, right? I realize Wikipedia isn’t the most credible source, but I’ll take it over Fox News. The weirdest thing I read, was about his bodyguards. He has a 40 bodyguard contingent, known as the Amazonian Guard. This “guard” is made up of all women, and to qualify for duty, the women must be virgins. He hand picks them, and they’re trained in firearms and martial arts at a special academy.
What is the deal with virgins, especially with terrorists? Hoping mom doesn’t read this post, but I’ll risk it. If you guys (and if I have a reader in South Korea, maybe the Middle East isn’t too far off) are wanting virgins for sexual purposes, well, you’re looking at this all wrong. You don’t want 40 guarding you,or 72 virgins in death. You need one good slut while you’re on this planet. Luckily, this is one product America has a surplus of. So, Moams (can I call you that?) and all you terrorists in training: Stop, give up your obsession with virgins. Give Charlie Sheen a call, come out to California and party with the guy. I’m trying to save lives here, and Sheen could use the good PR.
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How is this still an issue? A recent poll shows that 51% of likely GOP primary voters don’t believe that President Obama was born in the United States. This tells me that they’ve realized that he’s doing a good job, that they just don’t like him. It could be that he’s a Democrat, I don’t expect them to be fans of any “leftists.” Or maybe it’s a little deeper than that, and they just can’t handle the idea of a black President.
They’re a funny bunch, those “Conservatives.” I realize there’s a significant difference, but I wonder what percent of them believe George W. Bush is a Texan. Dubya was born in Connecticut, finished high school in Connecticut and went to college where? Oh, Connecticut. I realize he spent most of his “formative” years in Texas. Again, I understand that the Constitution states you must be born in the United States of America to be President, which Obama was, it’s just funny to me that if you’re born here you can adopt a hometown of your choice.
I’m not some political analyst, nor do I play one on TV (Beck, and make no mistake, he’s acting) but, I can’t help myself. If I wanted a Republican candidate who could win, wouldn’t I want someone who’s more to the middle? My wife and I were talking about the nut job extremists on the right, who seem to have taken complete control of the party. Of course, both sides have extremists, and extremists of any kind are a bad thing.
What if there was a Republican that was fiscally conservative and preached the smaller government gospel, yet who was also socially, well, aware to be honest? Someone who was Pro-Choice, supported gay marriage and healthcare reform. I mean, if they really believe the Government shouldn’t be involved in our personal lives, let’s see a Republican tell us how that includes abortion and who the people want to marry. Talk about jobs, then talk about jobs some more. After that, go ahead and mention jobs a few more times. Just seems to me, and I haven’t done any polling here, but if you want to win over the voters who left your party in 2008 and voted for Obama, that you’d want to appeal to their sensibilities.
Forget the party, as if that’s possible, isn’t going to the center better for the country? If you’re going to unite us, the common ground is in the middle. That’s why Obama didn’t push harder for the single payer option. That’s why Obama made the deal and we have the Bush tax cuts still. I get it, if you stay on point and make the so called “base” happy, you’ll get their votes. Call me crazy, I just don’t think either base represents what the majority of the county wants.
February 22, 2011
February 15, 2011
NFL HirParity
The NFL is the biggest show in town, without question. The numbers don’t lie, it is Americas past time now. I’m not going to debate that. But NFL fans love to tell me that it’s because of the salary cap. That the NFL has parity that baseball doesn’t have, because they limit how much a team can spend and they have profit sharing. I call bullshit.
Parity in the NFL is due to one thing and one thing only: the weighted schedule. In the NBA, you play the teams in your conference so many times, and then teams in the other conference less, but it’s still a set number. Baseball is the same, only with a shifting inter-league schedule, that changes on an annual basis so fans in every city eventually get to see every team come to play.
This isn’t how the NFL does things. If you’re a really good team one year, the next year you’ll play your division schedule, and then a tougher schedule of other good teams. And if you’re bad, you’ll get a schedule that is heavy with other bad teams. Look at the Chiefs this season; they had the 5th easiest schedule in the league this past season. This makes turning things around that much easier. Of course, it still takes good front office moves and coaching to turn things around, but the scheduling gives teams a boost. Sounds like charity almost, right? It’s so funny, because it’s often been said that the salary cap is an awful socialist idea, but the weighted schedule is welfare for billionaires.
Now Chiefs fans are feeling pretty good about themselves, but teams that win ten games the season after losing ten, historically have a 40% drop off the following year. Not because they suddenly got worse, but they no longer had a cupcake schedule. Want proof, just look at the Bengals from this past season. They went 4-12 in 2010 after a 10-6 season in 2009, and 4-11-1 in 2008.
(To further explain the weighted schedule, each team plays two intra-conference games based on the prior year’s standings. So if you finish last, you get two games against other last place teams from the previous season)
The best franchises are the best because they know what they’re doing. They scout talent better, they make trades at the right time, and they keep key guys. The revenue sharing and salary cap make that a lot easier to do, this is true. But it doesn’t make it easier for poor teams to turn things around. Just look at the last 20 years, the NFL has seen the Giants, Steelers, Broncos and Packers win two Super Bowls each. The Cowboys and Patriots have won three each. That’s 14 out of the 20 between six teams. They’ve also lost five Super Bowls between them. Don’t tell me parity.
The majority of an NFL team’s schedule is made up from playing the three other teams in their division. If the salary cap is such a great equalizer, why is it the strongest teams still so often come from the major television markets? The AFC East, with teams in New York, Miami and Boston. The NFC East is home to teams from Philadelphia, New York, Dallas and Washington DC.
The NFL is popular because America loves violence, speed and we don’t have the attention span for more games. There’s other reasons, some obvious (a more engaging experience for fans) some aren’t (Race. Yeah, I said it) and because we often don’t see the faces it’s a less personal relationship with the players, and therefore more about the team.
I’m not knocking the NFL, it’s a fantastic product and the league has done a superior job marketing itself over the years. Baseball had horrible labor issues and lost a World Series in the 90’s, and the NBA has image issues that I could spend an entire post on. Just don’t tell me it’s the friggin’ salary cap.
Parity in the NFL is due to one thing and one thing only: the weighted schedule. In the NBA, you play the teams in your conference so many times, and then teams in the other conference less, but it’s still a set number. Baseball is the same, only with a shifting inter-league schedule, that changes on an annual basis so fans in every city eventually get to see every team come to play.
This isn’t how the NFL does things. If you’re a really good team one year, the next year you’ll play your division schedule, and then a tougher schedule of other good teams. And if you’re bad, you’ll get a schedule that is heavy with other bad teams. Look at the Chiefs this season; they had the 5th easiest schedule in the league this past season. This makes turning things around that much easier. Of course, it still takes good front office moves and coaching to turn things around, but the scheduling gives teams a boost. Sounds like charity almost, right? It’s so funny, because it’s often been said that the salary cap is an awful socialist idea, but the weighted schedule is welfare for billionaires.
Now Chiefs fans are feeling pretty good about themselves, but teams that win ten games the season after losing ten, historically have a 40% drop off the following year. Not because they suddenly got worse, but they no longer had a cupcake schedule. Want proof, just look at the Bengals from this past season. They went 4-12 in 2010 after a 10-6 season in 2009, and 4-11-1 in 2008.
(To further explain the weighted schedule, each team plays two intra-conference games based on the prior year’s standings. So if you finish last, you get two games against other last place teams from the previous season)
The best franchises are the best because they know what they’re doing. They scout talent better, they make trades at the right time, and they keep key guys. The revenue sharing and salary cap make that a lot easier to do, this is true. But it doesn’t make it easier for poor teams to turn things around. Just look at the last 20 years, the NFL has seen the Giants, Steelers, Broncos and Packers win two Super Bowls each. The Cowboys and Patriots have won three each. That’s 14 out of the 20 between six teams. They’ve also lost five Super Bowls between them. Don’t tell me parity.
The majority of an NFL team’s schedule is made up from playing the three other teams in their division. If the salary cap is such a great equalizer, why is it the strongest teams still so often come from the major television markets? The AFC East, with teams in New York, Miami and Boston. The NFC East is home to teams from Philadelphia, New York, Dallas and Washington DC.
The NFL is popular because America loves violence, speed and we don’t have the attention span for more games. There’s other reasons, some obvious (a more engaging experience for fans) some aren’t (Race. Yeah, I said it) and because we often don’t see the faces it’s a less personal relationship with the players, and therefore more about the team.
I’m not knocking the NFL, it’s a fantastic product and the league has done a superior job marketing itself over the years. Baseball had horrible labor issues and lost a World Series in the 90’s, and the NBA has image issues that I could spend an entire post on. Just don’t tell me it’s the friggin’ salary cap.
February 14, 2011
Hirp Culture: Flicks and Tunes
Okay, look at this collection of names: Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker, Minka Kelly (for a minute), Salma Hayek, Leslie Mann, Keri Russell, Emmanuelle Chriqui,, Jessica Alba, Kate Beckinsale, Paz Vega, Drew Barrymore, Marisa Tomei, Emily Watson, Patricia Arquette, Joey Lauren Adams, Kristy Swanson, Julie Bowen, Fariuza Balk, and Bridgette Wilson. Okay if this was an IQ test, and you were asked to pick out what doesn’t fit the pattern, you’d pick Balk and Watson. Just sayin’.
So you’re wondering why all those names are together, is it Hirp’s “list?” No, those are the women that have played the love interest of one Adam Sandler. I like Sandler, and his movies are usually good fun, but I feel comfortable saying this, he’s no looker. Pretty sure his movies are just his fantasies, only he gets to wake up and play them out. He’s been: a golfer, allowed to go back to school, a lawyer who doesn’t have to work, a singer, a college football player, inherited millions, a marine-life veterinarian, a chef, architect, fireman, Hollywood agent, Israeli counter-terrorist, a big successful movie star, and a world class plastic surgeon.
That all said, I enjoyed Just Go with It. It’s the same Sandler formula we’ve seen, but it’s matured just enough so that it still works. Jennifer Aniston was really funny, and I’d like to see her do more comedy instead of the romantic comedy. Even if this was kind of a romantic comedy, it was a sneaky one at that. Kind of the way Jerry Maguire was a sneaky chick-flick. I went in with pretty low expectations, as you should too.
Later in the evening, it lead to a conversation with Mrs. Hirp regarding the roles women get in movies. This happened as she watched The Holiday again, and I was desperate to ignore the screen. I accept chick flicks, it’s a necessary evil, and occasionally they can be done well. My biggest beef with them isn’t how ridiculous the premise is, but how bad they are for women, especially younger girls. The leading lady is always either with a real ass. He treats her like crap, but she sticks it out. Then some other bumbling idiot comes along, and he’s so quirky that he’s charming. He has his own baggage, like he just might be a bit of a man-whore. Or she’s torn between the guy who just won’t commit and the good guy. There’s always another woman that is involved with one of her men of interest, and someone has to get dumped for the happy ending. It’s almost never a strong, smart and independent woman, whose just looking for the right guy, who finds the right guy. The best character, I could think of, is Uma Thurman’s character in Prime.
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I understand the difference between Song of the Year and Record of the Year. In case you don’t, SOY is for the song writer, while ROY is for the performer. Either way you cut it, Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” is the biggest turd to win since “My Heart Will Go On” in 1999.
I’m holding out hope, that the best side effect of our current economic climate will be better music. Grunge and hip-hops golden age came from artists who came of age in the 70’s. The decade of: Kent State, Nixon, Jonestown, Iran, the ’72 Olympics, and the oil crisis. They were the grand children of “The Greatest Generation.”
Then we had the era of the Spice Girls, N’Sync, Backstreet Boys and Brittney. Those kids grew up in the 80’s, the age of greed and excess. Now we have kids growing up who have experienced terrorists attacks in the United States, never ending wars, ridiculously high unemployment, tsunami’s, devastating earth quakes, Darfur, Katrina, H1N1, Yes We Can, the revolution in Egypt and other countries in the Middle East and the iPod.
Justin Bieber, Ladies Gaga and Antebellum (yes, I know the latter is a band), Bruno Mars, Ke$ha, and anyone who appears on “American Idol” simply is not evidence of a great generation of musicians.
So you’re wondering why all those names are together, is it Hirp’s “list?” No, those are the women that have played the love interest of one Adam Sandler. I like Sandler, and his movies are usually good fun, but I feel comfortable saying this, he’s no looker. Pretty sure his movies are just his fantasies, only he gets to wake up and play them out. He’s been: a golfer, allowed to go back to school, a lawyer who doesn’t have to work, a singer, a college football player, inherited millions, a marine-life veterinarian, a chef, architect, fireman, Hollywood agent, Israeli counter-terrorist, a big successful movie star, and a world class plastic surgeon.
That all said, I enjoyed Just Go with It. It’s the same Sandler formula we’ve seen, but it’s matured just enough so that it still works. Jennifer Aniston was really funny, and I’d like to see her do more comedy instead of the romantic comedy. Even if this was kind of a romantic comedy, it was a sneaky one at that. Kind of the way Jerry Maguire was a sneaky chick-flick. I went in with pretty low expectations, as you should too.
Later in the evening, it lead to a conversation with Mrs. Hirp regarding the roles women get in movies. This happened as she watched The Holiday again, and I was desperate to ignore the screen. I accept chick flicks, it’s a necessary evil, and occasionally they can be done well. My biggest beef with them isn’t how ridiculous the premise is, but how bad they are for women, especially younger girls. The leading lady is always either with a real ass. He treats her like crap, but she sticks it out. Then some other bumbling idiot comes along, and he’s so quirky that he’s charming. He has his own baggage, like he just might be a bit of a man-whore. Or she’s torn between the guy who just won’t commit and the good guy. There’s always another woman that is involved with one of her men of interest, and someone has to get dumped for the happy ending. It’s almost never a strong, smart and independent woman, whose just looking for the right guy, who finds the right guy. The best character, I could think of, is Uma Thurman’s character in Prime.
*
I understand the difference between Song of the Year and Record of the Year. In case you don’t, SOY is for the song writer, while ROY is for the performer. Either way you cut it, Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” is the biggest turd to win since “My Heart Will Go On” in 1999.
I’m holding out hope, that the best side effect of our current economic climate will be better music. Grunge and hip-hops golden age came from artists who came of age in the 70’s. The decade of: Kent State, Nixon, Jonestown, Iran, the ’72 Olympics, and the oil crisis. They were the grand children of “The Greatest Generation.”
Then we had the era of the Spice Girls, N’Sync, Backstreet Boys and Brittney. Those kids grew up in the 80’s, the age of greed and excess. Now we have kids growing up who have experienced terrorists attacks in the United States, never ending wars, ridiculously high unemployment, tsunami’s, devastating earth quakes, Darfur, Katrina, H1N1, Yes We Can, the revolution in Egypt and other countries in the Middle East and the iPod.
Justin Bieber, Ladies Gaga and Antebellum (yes, I know the latter is a band), Bruno Mars, Ke$ha, and anyone who appears on “American Idol” simply is not evidence of a great generation of musicians.
February 10, 2011
Hirped Off
I was out of work for over a year, and in that time one thing was made crystal clear to me: if you’re looking for a job, you’re going to be treated as a whore. At least a prostitute gets paid for getting bent over. To just get an interview requires busting ones ass. You spend hours on your resume, picking and choosing each word as if your life depends on it, and it kind of does. You read through thousands of positions over dozens of websites just to find one that’s interesting, attainable, relevant, and sounds like it might pay enough. Then you spend sometimes an hour filling out their online application, which requires you to enter pretty much everything that’s on the resume you gave birth to.
After all that, 85 out of 100 go unanswered. Not even a rejection email for your effort. Then you get 14 generic reject emails, and that’s a win. That leaves you with one positive response, if you’re lucky. So now you have an interview to prepare for. You research the company and the person interviewing you. Taking notes like a college freshman on the first day of class. At least that’s how I was, since that was pretty much the only time I remember taking good notes. You move your schedule around, and ask your spouse and kids to adjust as well, so you are available for the interview. I don’t know how many times I was told that the interview would take around an hour, only for it to be over in 15 minutes. Sound familiar? Personally, the night, maybe even two, were sleepless. I stressed to the point that I grew hair just to lose it. Asked my wife which shirt and tie combination would be best, let the Kyd chime in with which tie she thought was my “lucky” tie.
Then finally, you get interviewed. Some go well, some don’t. You spend hours, even days, rehashing every response in your head. NFL coaches don’t spend as much time analyzing every play after a game. You send a thank you note, as everyone suggests you should. Then you wait. Then you wait, and perhaps wait some more. You hear nothing. There’s more chatter out of Bin Laden. Will you get to the next round? Landing this job would change your families’ life, and without a doubt, it will impact future generations. So, yeah, there’s a little pressure here.
What do you hear? Absolutely nothing. A big fat doughnut. There’s no generic email, and there’s no phone call thanking you for applying and putting yourself through hell. So finally you give them a call, just to follow up, and show just how serious you are and how much you want the position. Their response, “oh, we filled that position last week.”
How bout I just lose sleep, drive my family nuts, spend some of my money and instead of interviewing me, you just kick me in the balls and we call it a day.
Seriously, as much as I hate the rejection emails, do me that one favor. Show me that much decency. For the love of God, have a heart.
I have a job now, and that’s great. It’s not the best job in the world, so I’m still looking. This makes going through this hell, a little easier to stomach, but it sure as shit isn’t fun yet. What makes this entire situation even worse is that there seems to be a sentiment out there, that the unemployed don’t want to work. That getting a job is easy if you want one, and the majority of the unemployed are just being lazy. You can say that if you want, just leave $100 on my nightstand in the morning.
After all that, 85 out of 100 go unanswered. Not even a rejection email for your effort. Then you get 14 generic reject emails, and that’s a win. That leaves you with one positive response, if you’re lucky. So now you have an interview to prepare for. You research the company and the person interviewing you. Taking notes like a college freshman on the first day of class. At least that’s how I was, since that was pretty much the only time I remember taking good notes. You move your schedule around, and ask your spouse and kids to adjust as well, so you are available for the interview. I don’t know how many times I was told that the interview would take around an hour, only for it to be over in 15 minutes. Sound familiar? Personally, the night, maybe even two, were sleepless. I stressed to the point that I grew hair just to lose it. Asked my wife which shirt and tie combination would be best, let the Kyd chime in with which tie she thought was my “lucky” tie.
Then finally, you get interviewed. Some go well, some don’t. You spend hours, even days, rehashing every response in your head. NFL coaches don’t spend as much time analyzing every play after a game. You send a thank you note, as everyone suggests you should. Then you wait. Then you wait, and perhaps wait some more. You hear nothing. There’s more chatter out of Bin Laden. Will you get to the next round? Landing this job would change your families’ life, and without a doubt, it will impact future generations. So, yeah, there’s a little pressure here.
What do you hear? Absolutely nothing. A big fat doughnut. There’s no generic email, and there’s no phone call thanking you for applying and putting yourself through hell. So finally you give them a call, just to follow up, and show just how serious you are and how much you want the position. Their response, “oh, we filled that position last week.”
How bout I just lose sleep, drive my family nuts, spend some of my money and instead of interviewing me, you just kick me in the balls and we call it a day.
Seriously, as much as I hate the rejection emails, do me that one favor. Show me that much decency. For the love of God, have a heart.
I have a job now, and that’s great. It’s not the best job in the world, so I’m still looking. This makes going through this hell, a little easier to stomach, but it sure as shit isn’t fun yet. What makes this entire situation even worse is that there seems to be a sentiment out there, that the unemployed don’t want to work. That getting a job is easy if you want one, and the majority of the unemployed are just being lazy. You can say that if you want, just leave $100 on my nightstand in the morning.
February 07, 2011
Hirp Gets Retarded
I’m not a fan of The Black Eyed Peas, but I appreciate what they do. Often, I enjoy their songs. They make some catchy damn tunes, there’s no denying it. In fact, I owned their first CD, this was pre-Fergie, “Joints & Jams” was a great song. They looked to be kind of like The Pharcyde, and maybe even a little Tribe Called Quest. Then they added Fergie, an okay looking girl with a pretty great body and pretty good pipes. Next stop: global phenomena.
They’ve been consistent, yet changed just enough to keep from getting stale, and produced commercial hits almost every other week. Basically, they became the music version of Michael Bay. Fergie became more and more annoying, and a bigger distraction. will.i.am, who was originally signed to Eazy-E’s Ruthless label, the original home of NWA, is a proven lyrists and producer. Seriously, just look at the who’s who list that he’s worked with: Justin Timberlake, John Legend, Nas, The game, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Carlos Santana, the Pussycat Dolls and some Michael Jackson fella.
Along the way he did a little something for then candidate Barack Obama, you’ve seen it, the “Yes We Can” video. Amazing stuff and I really believe it helped Obama get elected. What I don’t understand is: why has he stayed with the Peas? He’s their John and Paul. (not that I think he’s either John or Paul) He’s their Axl and Slash. He’s the Justin of their N’Sync. He’s everything, except for the nice legs in a slutty skirt, to that group. After that atrocious Super Bowl halftime show, where Fergie looked stoned or just bored, proved she couldn’t sing and made an argument for why we want backing tracks in those situations.
William, mind if I call you William? Go solo.
Anyway, since I haven’t been impressed with a half time show since, well, ever. Here are my suggestions for future performers:
Jay Z & Beyonce- Both are hugely popular, and Jay is one of two rappers, who can perform live. And Beyonce has the energy to pull it off.
Eminem- He’s the other rapper that can actually perform live. And how great would hearing “Lose Yourself” be heading into the second half? As far as rappers go, a lot of his songs are great anthems. He’s also hilarious, and would be happy to lampoon any pop culture figures. The show could use some humor.
Justin Timberlake- The new King of Pop. Forget about Nipple-Gate.
Dave Matthews Band- A few years past their prime, but they’re epic live. And not ancient (see: Stones, Bon Jovi, The Who, Kiss, and Paul McCartney)
They’ve been consistent, yet changed just enough to keep from getting stale, and produced commercial hits almost every other week. Basically, they became the music version of Michael Bay. Fergie became more and more annoying, and a bigger distraction. will.i.am, who was originally signed to Eazy-E’s Ruthless label, the original home of NWA, is a proven lyrists and producer. Seriously, just look at the who’s who list that he’s worked with: Justin Timberlake, John Legend, Nas, The game, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Carlos Santana, the Pussycat Dolls and some Michael Jackson fella.
Along the way he did a little something for then candidate Barack Obama, you’ve seen it, the “Yes We Can” video. Amazing stuff and I really believe it helped Obama get elected. What I don’t understand is: why has he stayed with the Peas? He’s their John and Paul. (not that I think he’s either John or Paul) He’s their Axl and Slash. He’s the Justin of their N’Sync. He’s everything, except for the nice legs in a slutty skirt, to that group. After that atrocious Super Bowl halftime show, where Fergie looked stoned or just bored, proved she couldn’t sing and made an argument for why we want backing tracks in those situations.
William, mind if I call you William? Go solo.
Anyway, since I haven’t been impressed with a half time show since, well, ever. Here are my suggestions for future performers:
Jay Z & Beyonce- Both are hugely popular, and Jay is one of two rappers, who can perform live. And Beyonce has the energy to pull it off.
Eminem- He’s the other rapper that can actually perform live. And how great would hearing “Lose Yourself” be heading into the second half? As far as rappers go, a lot of his songs are great anthems. He’s also hilarious, and would be happy to lampoon any pop culture figures. The show could use some humor.
Justin Timberlake- The new King of Pop. Forget about Nipple-Gate.
Dave Matthews Band- A few years past their prime, but they’re epic live. And not ancient (see: Stones, Bon Jovi, The Who, Kiss, and Paul McCartney)
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