Questions and a Rant

What kind of vending machine has neither Starburst nor Skittles?

If the temperature is 29 degrees, how can it feel like its 19? This logic isn’t allowed in anything else. My $20 can’t feel like $100. My quarter tank of gas can’t feel like a full tank. This whole “Feels like” deal, smells like a bunch of bullshit. And according to whom? I want that job. I want to walk outside, ignore the thermometer, and say “hmm, feels like 30. Check please.”

What is it about “jeans day’ that gets people so excited? They really aren’t that much more comfortable than other pants. Is work easier in denim? Or is it the site of your boss wearing jeans, white socks and penny loafers that makes this day an unofficial Holiday?

***

I love people, and when I say love, I mean hate. Not all people, just stupid, ignorant, annoying, foolish, rude, assholes, double talking jackasses. You know, to be specific. So I moved, we’ve covered that much. My old apartment told me they were letting me out of my lease, and that I’d receive my deposit in 2-3 weeks. A month passes, and no check has shown up. So I call Friday, and they tell me corporate will call me on Monday. No call on Monday or Tuesday, so I call again today. Again, I’m told it would come from corporate, so I get their number and give t hem a ring. Turns out the apartment manager hasn’t submitted anything for a deposit. Corporate is going to call the manager, and a check should be cut this week.

A few minutes later I get a call from the idiot apartment manager, who informs me that the lease I signed runs through May. Um, yeah. I know this. That was the point of me asking to GET OUT of said lease, which one of her employees informed me would be just fine. I let her know this, and I’m told, “Corporate is above (blank).” Great, then why do you hire people? Did this manager check up on the paperwork, which I’m sure she saw? So she tells me she’s going to talk to corporate and try and get me off the hook. Oh hell no, try nothing. I’m not paying them a dime. They might keep my deposit, which I didn’t expect back until their employee told me I’d get it. SO I might give up that money. But if they think they’re getting me to pay rent till May, they can kiss my touchas. (Yiddish for ass)