Today marks another sad anniversary. Nothing on the scale of 9/11 but in my world at least, it was a big deal. Ten years ago on this date Tupac Shakur passed away. Now how does a Jewish kid growing up in upper middle class Johnson County end up being such a big Tupac fan? It’s a fair question because; on the surface it just doesn’t seem to make any sense.

It’s fair to say that part of what drew me to his personality was his rebel without a pause attitude. It’s pretty typical for a 14 year old to want to challenge authority. But it was always more then that. On the surface, I was just another kid driving a free car to a Blue Valley school and living in a beautiful house in a safe neighborhood. On the inside, there was and still is a pretty angry kid. Not angry over the same things as Pac per say but, to me it was just as serious. And if Pac knew anything, he knew anger and pain. You don’t have to go through the same situations as someone to understand what they’re going through, or be able to express it.

Cobain didn’t do it for me. He was mad, he was hurting but his voice didn’t seem speak to me or for me. Pac was blunt. And he was complex. One song he’s talking about a young girl Brenda, who was raped and having a baby. Then he was talking tough and gangsta then soon after he was talking about his libido. The chaos of it all was identical to the chaos of 14 year olds hormones.

And most don’t realize the early Tupac wasn’t some super gangster rapper. He was more militant and compassionate. That’s when I became a fan. I heard his first single, “Trapped”, on MTV one day on Yo! MTV Raps after school. And right then I was hooked. What kid hasn’t felt trapped? Then I heard “Brenda’s Got A Baby” just weeks after my sister had her first child and was a single mother, and I ran out to buy his first CD. His next single was “If My Homiez Call” and it was three in a row I felt such a connection to. That was the beginning of Tupac. First there was song about hopelessness, then a song about a tragedy and then a song about loyalty. Fact is his first CD, didn’t have any “gangsta” songs or disrespect women, he was all about righting injustices and speaking up for those who couldn’t speak up for themselves.

Later on he found trouble with the law. And he said something funny, “I never had a record, till I made a record.” It’s true, the guy made some stupid choices. It seemed as if fame and fortune would be his downfall, much like two other “heroes” of mine, Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry. There’s a really interesting documentary VH1 has been airing of late, Tupac: Ressurection. Definitely something you should tivo and check out. One of the reoccurring themes of the people, celebrity or otherwise, has been people who have faults and leave it all out there for us to see. I have the up most respect for anyone who doesn’t just show off his good shiney side but, is just as honest about his or her faults. Someone who puts their good and their bad out on the table and just says this is me and what I’ve done. There are a lot of people out there who just want to put on this façade that puts them in a good light while they keep a lock on their closet, and they want to be admired or looked up to.

His music wasn’t for everyone, and he knew it. He acted, wrote poetry, and even a penned a screen play which is currently in pre-production. And there’s actually been more of his music released since his death. Lots of it was just put out there to make a buck and wasn’t his best work but, it’s still remarkable that he was able to produce so much in such a short period of time. I can’t help but wonder what he would be doing if he were alive today at 35.