The Final Countdown

Sopranos spoiler alert*

Sunday was intense to say the least, highlighted by the best episode of Sopranos in two or three seasons. They may have teased us too much with all the build up over last season and this one, but the pay off was well worth it. Everyone knew there’d be a blood bath sooner or later, it was just the who and how’s we were unsure of. Seeing Bobby get lit up like a Christmas tree as almost kind of sad, for a gangster, he’s just a sweet guy. The guy who stands up for his wife, even when she’s a bigger bitch than Rosie O’Donnell on Bitch Growth Hormones (BHG) and still feels some allegiance to Uncle Junior, who refused to attend the funeral of Bobby’s father some seasons ago. He was a giant kid, about to drop eight grand on a train set.

And then to see Sil shot, that hurt, who is by far the most underrated and under-appreciated character. Who wouldn’t want to be an uncle-figure to 20 strippers? He has the hair (of which I’m jealous) the look, there have never been any doubts about his loyalty and great lines like, “I stick motherfuckin' provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning.” So I’m going to miss Sil.

But what’s more intriguing than who got clipped is who didn’t. The fact that Paulie “Walnuts” was left off the hitlist is suspect. Then he questions the move to go to war with Phil? Is this guy in cahoots with NY? Let’s look at the evidence: He was friends with John, he’s on the outs with Tony, he is a bumbling idiot who cussed out his own adoptive mother and biological mother and he has the most to gain by whacking Tony. He would be next in line to take over Jersey. Either they didn’t kill him because they want him alive, or because they think he’s such a moron that he’s a non-threat.

So there’s one episode left, and although I’m on pins and needles waiting for Sunday to arrive, I find myself also hoping it never comes. I just don’t want to see it end. I have four theory’s for how the show will end, but I feel like I should pick just one as my official prediction. And here it is: AJ. I’m not exactly sure how, because I don’t see how he can actually rat on his father. Just happens to be the move that could save Tony’s life, while ruining it at the same time. Just, he has no inside info. And after being dragged from his bed, and proving yet again, to be a giant disappointment he’s either going to rise to the occasion and save dad, or get back at him.

Here are the official FromtheHirp.com odds for the final episode:
AJ the “mastermind” of what brings Tony down 4:1
Paulie whacks Tony 8:1
Tony whacks Paulie, then gets whacked by NY 9:1
Tony turns state evidence against the Arab kids 10:1
Meadow shows up naked 100:1
Tony wakes up and it was all a dream, he’s really a used car salesmen in Illinois a million:1
(followed by me breaking my foot off in the television)


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Now with all successful movies and television shows, there’s the threat of either a spin off or a sequel, the Sopranos are no different. There has long been talk of a potential movie that would really be the end of it. This is unlikely because both the creator, David Chase, and the star, James Gandolfini, have no interest in doing a movie. But money talks, so it’s always possible.

A spin off is even less likely, Chase owns the rights to the characters and wouldn’t approve some sham of a show to shit on the great work he’s done. But that won’t stop some network from trying to ride its coattails just a little longer. The #1 suspect, in my eyes, is Tony Sirico (Paulie “Walnuts”) this guy can only play gangsters. Look at his resume, which includes:
Mickey Blue Eyes, Witness to the Mob, Mob Queen, Cop Land, Gotti, The Search for One-Eyed Jimmy, Romeo is Bleeding, an extra in some movie called the Godfather and his first recognizable role was in Goodfellas.

It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if a network like USA or FX, offered him a show that has him playing the skipper of a family. And I’d have zero interest in such a show, although I know I’d watch at least a few episodes.

The one idea that does intrigue me some what, although I never want to see it, is some sort of prequel. Last night I was watching an episode on A&E, and it was a flashback to when Tony wasn’t the boss. It was 95, and Jackie Sr., was in charge, and through the flashback they realized just when Big Pussy started working for the Feds. That got me to thinking, now I’d like to see how Tony came up the ranks. I beg it never happens, but I’ll always wonder.