So here’s a little story that gives me more reason to want to banish teenagers to Idaho until they have fully evolved. It comes from an anonymous source, but it’s entirely true. That’s right, I’ve gotten so big that I now have anonymous sources.
Anyway, girl goes to see the doctor for some adominal pain. They do a pregnancy test, and yep, she’s preggers. Oh yeah, and she’s 19. She’s all excited, informs the staff that she just moved in with her boyfriend. The staff notices her insurance is provided by the military, so they ask if her boyfriend is still in the military. No, he never was. That insurance comes from her husband. That’s right, husband. Not ex-husband, this kid is married. She’s married and has a boyfriend she’s moving in with, I can’t emphasize this enough.
Someone slap this girl. So she says the military has asked wives to not tell their husbands things like this, because they already have such a high suicide rate. And she says, “he’ll just have to deal with it when he gets home.”
I wonder if they’ll tell this part of the story on the news after her body is found. I’m not justifying it, or condoning it, but this is the stuff that snapping seem like the only logical or expected response.
To recap, here are the facts:
• She’s 19 and married, probably not a good idea
• Husband is away, so she’s going to play. Definitely bad news.
• Husband is trained to kill, not the kind of guy you want to cross
• There’s another guy here, who has so little respect for others, that he has no problem getting into a situation that is going to leave four lives ruined. Don’t discount the fact he might end up catching a dirt nap too.
• And to top it all off, there’s a baby on the way. That’s just fantastic. This only gets worse if the baby daddy is the soldiers’ brother or best friend.
All this adds up to support my belief that there should be someone (preferably me) who has to give couples permission to reproduce. I would have stopped her parents, and his, from getting together. Not only should these idiots not have kids of their own, they shouldn’t be taking up space in line at QuikTrip. Or maybe that’s a little harsh.
February 28, 2008
February 27, 2008
Rant
I just watched a video on CNN.com about two 18 year old girls who were escorted off of a plane, and according to them, it was because they were pretty. One of them said they felt that “no one else on the plane looked like them.” The morons felt that they were discriminated against for “how they look.” Bitch, please. First, you’re not that cute. The fact that her friend and she had some loud, vulgar conversation about the state of the restroom probably played a role in how they were treated.
These two idiots gave CNN photos of them in various revealing outfits, so I’m sure they’re intentions are sincere. Yeah, and their hair color is natural too. I’m sure there’s a lawsuit to coming in the near future, and I’m hoping they can get a legal ruling that “you aren’t that cute, and you’re a bitch.” That’d be some justice. I know they are just trying to stand up for the beautiful people everywhere who have faced discrimination for years, and the blacks think they have it hard.
As a matter of fact, bratty teenagers haven’t had it hard enough. Here are some new laws I’d like passed, regarding those horrible thing we call teenagers:
• There should be laws to regulate how much squealing can be done in IHOP, I shouldn’t be able to hear you if I’m not at your table.
• Those shits standing around before and after the movie, should only be allowed to so if they’ll wash my car.
• Writing anything on your windshield should be a felony.
• Starbucks should start adding alcohol to all of their drinks, just to prevent anyone under the age of 21 from entering.
• Adding rhinestones to a cell phone should be diagnosed as another form of retardation.
• Growing facial hair prior to graduation should result in a daily swift kick to the nuts.
• Minimum wage, that’s all you get. Provide poor customer service and that customer can fire you on the spot. Just because you live in a rich suburb, doesn’t mean you should make more money flipping burgers than someone who is doing so in a different town, and needs to feed their family.
• Don’t speak unless spoken to, maybe you should just not speak.
• Any kid violates any of these laws, and all of them are sentenced to Idaho until they’re 21.
I’d vote for Bill O’Reilly if he ran for President with this in his agenda, I shit you not.
These two idiots gave CNN photos of them in various revealing outfits, so I’m sure they’re intentions are sincere. Yeah, and their hair color is natural too. I’m sure there’s a lawsuit to coming in the near future, and I’m hoping they can get a legal ruling that “you aren’t that cute, and you’re a bitch.” That’d be some justice. I know they are just trying to stand up for the beautiful people everywhere who have faced discrimination for years, and the blacks think they have it hard.
As a matter of fact, bratty teenagers haven’t had it hard enough. Here are some new laws I’d like passed, regarding those horrible thing we call teenagers:
• There should be laws to regulate how much squealing can be done in IHOP, I shouldn’t be able to hear you if I’m not at your table.
• Those shits standing around before and after the movie, should only be allowed to so if they’ll wash my car.
• Writing anything on your windshield should be a felony.
• Starbucks should start adding alcohol to all of their drinks, just to prevent anyone under the age of 21 from entering.
• Adding rhinestones to a cell phone should be diagnosed as another form of retardation.
• Growing facial hair prior to graduation should result in a daily swift kick to the nuts.
• Minimum wage, that’s all you get. Provide poor customer service and that customer can fire you on the spot. Just because you live in a rich suburb, doesn’t mean you should make more money flipping burgers than someone who is doing so in a different town, and needs to feed their family.
• Don’t speak unless spoken to, maybe you should just not speak.
• Any kid violates any of these laws, and all of them are sentenced to Idaho until they’re 21.
I’d vote for Bill O’Reilly if he ran for President with this in his agenda, I shit you not.
February 22, 2008
Write Now
Today is a big day for me. No, I didn’t get engaged again, or hear the other two words that forever change you (I’m late) Nothing like that, but this has been talked about for ages. For a long time now I’ve talked about one day writing a screen play, but never did it. I’ve never even started one, more than writing down the premise. Ideas came and went. Sometimes I mulled them over for months before feeling it was too similar to this movie, or just utterly stupid. Sometimes they were discussed with friends before I saw the story already had more holes than my dad’s golf swing. (I’m not even sure if his swing has any holes, but if it didn’t, I’m sure he’d always be in a good mood after playing 18)
But recently an idea came up from a conversation with Mrs. Hirp, and it felt like a solid idea. Of course I won’t get into the details here, but it’s something I feel everyone could relate to, it has the potential to be both funny and personal. Not in the Juno sort of way, but I can dream. And I know this will never make it to the big screen, and there’s a pretty good chance that I won’t even finish it. But a start’s something, right?
So here’s what I think I have to look forward to: Writers block, trying to write dialogue so that there aren’t x amount of characters who sound just like this blog, self doubt, hair loss (shit) sleepless nights (sorry, Mrs. Hirp) and occasionally feeling I made solid contact and even knocked one or two out of the park. That pretty much erases any doubts that I’m actually not a sick bastard.
But I also get the dreams, the pipedreams that I can get lost in all day. Sort of like the “if I win the lottery” dream we all have. Dreams like, what they might write if this actually ended up being made.
“He wrote the majority of this while working at ___.”
“Move over Matt and Ben..”
“Another short and bald neurotic Jewish screen writer, move over Woody Allen”
“Hirp has been commissioned to write The Godfather Four”
“Zach Braff to study at the school of Hirp”
But recently an idea came up from a conversation with Mrs. Hirp, and it felt like a solid idea. Of course I won’t get into the details here, but it’s something I feel everyone could relate to, it has the potential to be both funny and personal. Not in the Juno sort of way, but I can dream. And I know this will never make it to the big screen, and there’s a pretty good chance that I won’t even finish it. But a start’s something, right?
So here’s what I think I have to look forward to: Writers block, trying to write dialogue so that there aren’t x amount of characters who sound just like this blog, self doubt, hair loss (shit) sleepless nights (sorry, Mrs. Hirp) and occasionally feeling I made solid contact and even knocked one or two out of the park. That pretty much erases any doubts that I’m actually not a sick bastard.
But I also get the dreams, the pipedreams that I can get lost in all day. Sort of like the “if I win the lottery” dream we all have. Dreams like, what they might write if this actually ended up being made.
“He wrote the majority of this while working at ___.”
“Move over Matt and Ben..”
“Another short and bald neurotic Jewish screen writer, move over Woody Allen”
“Hirp has been commissioned to write The Godfather Four”
“Zach Braff to study at the school of Hirp”
February 19, 2008
Yikes
Yesterday out of boredom, I Googled my pops. What I found proved to be a bit unsettling, and no, it wasn’t images of him on some gay porn site. No, its worse, or I think so anyway. Turns out my dear old dad just passed away. And I just saw him Sunday morning, he looked fine. Oh, there’s a twist too, he’s a she. That really threw me off.
I’m not sure what to think, my father is a mother, and he/she is dead. And for twist #2, he/she replied to an email. I was always unsure about whether or not there was an afterlife, and now I know they have a high speed connection. I wonder if there’s a need for spam box in the after life.
I hope mom doesn’t bring a date to the wedding, I think it’s too soon. And I want some answers, like who is my real father. I’ve been called a bastard for years, I had no idea it was accurate.
I’m not sure what to think, my father is a mother, and he/she is dead. And for twist #2, he/she replied to an email. I was always unsure about whether or not there was an afterlife, and now I know they have a high speed connection. I wonder if there’s a need for spam box in the after life.
I hope mom doesn’t bring a date to the wedding, I think it’s too soon. And I want some answers, like who is my real father. I’ve been called a bastard for years, I had no idea it was accurate.
February 15, 2008
Truth
So driving into work today, I was listening to my show, Mike & Mike, and they were getting into a pretty heavy subject in the wake of Roger Clemens appearance in front on Congress. The heavy subject at hand, was should you lie for a friend.
Here’s the skinny, Clemens’ former teammate and supposed good friend, Andy Pettitte was also named in the Mitchell Report a couple months ago. The two used the same trainer, and while Clemens said it was completely untrue, in regards to the allegations against him, Pettitte came out and admitted that the allegations against him were in fact true. Interestingly enough, he first claimed to have used something at one point just a couple times, and then also acknowledged that his dad supplied him with HGH just once in 2004.
Pettitte also testified that he knew Roger used, based on some conversations they had, and that he had to tell the truth because one day he would have to answer to God. Love it when people do the right thing because of a fear or love for God, even though God didn’t prevent Andy from cheating in the first place. So now the debate is, should Andy have outted his friend or not. And Mike & Mike broke it down to the simple question, would you lie for a friend in that position. God damn, that’s good stuff right there.
Part of me likes to think, hell yes I would. Death before dishonor and all that. But wait a second, by doing so I’m setting myself up for a perjury charge, and if this is such a good friend, why would they allow me to do that? Especially when there’s a good chance that we’d both end up facing charges. Now Roger never came out and called Andy a liar, instead he said he “mis-remembered” conversations or didn’t recall them correctly. This makes Roger a giant pussy. Maybe he still wants to be buddies, and can’t stomach the idea of questioning the guys’ integrity in front of the world, but he did so with the words he chose anyway.
Look, we have all lied and we will all lie again. I was once told by a “friend” that he used hanging out with me as cover to his girlfriend, for a night he was, well not hanging out with me. I didn’t like it, and I told him not to do it again, and that if I was questioned I wouldn’t lie for him. But at the same time, it wasn’t the honest thing for me to keep that to myself. We’re no longer friends, and that situation helped set up the collapse of our friendship. But yeah, I lied there. And I’ve lied plenty of other times, usually to cover up for a friend or save myself some embarrassment. I’ve lied to my friends, bosses and parents. 99% of the time they’ve been white lies, but a lie is a lie.
But let’s be honest (ironic, right?), there is a certain amount of honor when you lie for a friend. “Did (blank) come in late?” “Nope, he was right on time.” Feels good, you covered for a buddy and hope he’d do the same. “No, it wasn’t a lame party at all, everyone had a great time.” Or “I swear dad, I’m working on cleaning up my credit.” Okay, no honor in the last one, that’s strictly for saving yourself from a lecture and a headache, as well as some shame. But we all do it.
But would I lie for a friend if I was in the same situation as Roger and Andy? Shit, that’s tough. I don’t think so. Not because I’d want to rat them out, or screw them over, but because I’d want to save my ass. And I’d be damn pissed if they continued to lie, because in doing so, they’re calling me a liar. And I went through a situation somewhat like that back in my LC days, although it wasn’t really a friend.
This chick forgot to lock the gate one night, and I opened the store the following day. Leaving the gate unlocked just happens to be a big no-no, go figure. So I mentioned it to someone, wondering if there was a legit reason. I didn’t go to the higher ups, because I wasn’t looking to get her in trouble. But the story made its way to the asshole in charge, and before long we’re sitting in his office explaining what happened. Her story went like this:
She had to borrow someone else’s keys because she forgot hers, but she locked up with them. She came in the next morning to leave the keys in the store, and she saw me in the back. This was pretty much in direct opposition of my side, which stated that I came in to work, and the gate was unlocked. In the office were the keys which were borrowed. So I said, that her story couldn’t be accurate. And she said I was mistaken, that she came in with to return the keys, and I was already there. I specifically recall her saying “I’m not saying Gregg’s lying, but he’s wrong.”
By her not owning up to it, she was calling me a liar and she didn’t even have the balls to use the word. Being that it wasn’t a friend of mine, I sure as hell wouldn’t lie to cover for her. Had it been a friend would I have lied? Yep, I’m pretty sure I would have. But if it got to the point t hat we were both under oath, and they were going to stand by their story? Well, I might and I might not continue on with the lie. Depends on how confident I am that courts know the truth, and also if that friend is willing to tell the truth if I tell the truth. If I’m confident we’re busted, and the friend won’t own up to it, well now they made it a “me or him” situation, and it’s going to be me. Not because I’m only out for myself, but because anyone who would throw me under the bus isn’t going to be my friend the next day anyway. That’s how I deal with ultimatums, whoever gives me one is out. If my girlfriend had said to me, “I don’t like this friend, it’s him or me.” Well, it would have been the friend. Just like if a friend had said that about her, he’d be 86’ed.
Loyal friends don’t make you choose. So Andy, I said fuck Roger. Besides, Clemens has always been an asshole.
Here’s the skinny, Clemens’ former teammate and supposed good friend, Andy Pettitte was also named in the Mitchell Report a couple months ago. The two used the same trainer, and while Clemens said it was completely untrue, in regards to the allegations against him, Pettitte came out and admitted that the allegations against him were in fact true. Interestingly enough, he first claimed to have used something at one point just a couple times, and then also acknowledged that his dad supplied him with HGH just once in 2004.
Pettitte also testified that he knew Roger used, based on some conversations they had, and that he had to tell the truth because one day he would have to answer to God. Love it when people do the right thing because of a fear or love for God, even though God didn’t prevent Andy from cheating in the first place. So now the debate is, should Andy have outted his friend or not. And Mike & Mike broke it down to the simple question, would you lie for a friend in that position. God damn, that’s good stuff right there.
Part of me likes to think, hell yes I would. Death before dishonor and all that. But wait a second, by doing so I’m setting myself up for a perjury charge, and if this is such a good friend, why would they allow me to do that? Especially when there’s a good chance that we’d both end up facing charges. Now Roger never came out and called Andy a liar, instead he said he “mis-remembered” conversations or didn’t recall them correctly. This makes Roger a giant pussy. Maybe he still wants to be buddies, and can’t stomach the idea of questioning the guys’ integrity in front of the world, but he did so with the words he chose anyway.
Look, we have all lied and we will all lie again. I was once told by a “friend” that he used hanging out with me as cover to his girlfriend, for a night he was, well not hanging out with me. I didn’t like it, and I told him not to do it again, and that if I was questioned I wouldn’t lie for him. But at the same time, it wasn’t the honest thing for me to keep that to myself. We’re no longer friends, and that situation helped set up the collapse of our friendship. But yeah, I lied there. And I’ve lied plenty of other times, usually to cover up for a friend or save myself some embarrassment. I’ve lied to my friends, bosses and parents. 99% of the time they’ve been white lies, but a lie is a lie.
But let’s be honest (ironic, right?), there is a certain amount of honor when you lie for a friend. “Did (blank) come in late?” “Nope, he was right on time.” Feels good, you covered for a buddy and hope he’d do the same. “No, it wasn’t a lame party at all, everyone had a great time.” Or “I swear dad, I’m working on cleaning up my credit.” Okay, no honor in the last one, that’s strictly for saving yourself from a lecture and a headache, as well as some shame. But we all do it.
But would I lie for a friend if I was in the same situation as Roger and Andy? Shit, that’s tough. I don’t think so. Not because I’d want to rat them out, or screw them over, but because I’d want to save my ass. And I’d be damn pissed if they continued to lie, because in doing so, they’re calling me a liar. And I went through a situation somewhat like that back in my LC days, although it wasn’t really a friend.
This chick forgot to lock the gate one night, and I opened the store the following day. Leaving the gate unlocked just happens to be a big no-no, go figure. So I mentioned it to someone, wondering if there was a legit reason. I didn’t go to the higher ups, because I wasn’t looking to get her in trouble. But the story made its way to the asshole in charge, and before long we’re sitting in his office explaining what happened. Her story went like this:
She had to borrow someone else’s keys because she forgot hers, but she locked up with them. She came in the next morning to leave the keys in the store, and she saw me in the back. This was pretty much in direct opposition of my side, which stated that I came in to work, and the gate was unlocked. In the office were the keys which were borrowed. So I said, that her story couldn’t be accurate. And she said I was mistaken, that she came in with to return the keys, and I was already there. I specifically recall her saying “I’m not saying Gregg’s lying, but he’s wrong.”
By her not owning up to it, she was calling me a liar and she didn’t even have the balls to use the word. Being that it wasn’t a friend of mine, I sure as hell wouldn’t lie to cover for her. Had it been a friend would I have lied? Yep, I’m pretty sure I would have. But if it got to the point t hat we were both under oath, and they were going to stand by their story? Well, I might and I might not continue on with the lie. Depends on how confident I am that courts know the truth, and also if that friend is willing to tell the truth if I tell the truth. If I’m confident we’re busted, and the friend won’t own up to it, well now they made it a “me or him” situation, and it’s going to be me. Not because I’m only out for myself, but because anyone who would throw me under the bus isn’t going to be my friend the next day anyway. That’s how I deal with ultimatums, whoever gives me one is out. If my girlfriend had said to me, “I don’t like this friend, it’s him or me.” Well, it would have been the friend. Just like if a friend had said that about her, he’d be 86’ed.
Loyal friends don’t make you choose. So Andy, I said fuck Roger. Besides, Clemens has always been an asshole.
February 12, 2008
February 11, 2008
Hirpservations
Coming back from lunch today, I spied a vehicle in the parking lot, and I knew instantly that I would dislike the owner. This vehicle happened to be a souped up (strike 1) pick-up (foul ball) with a K-State license plate and a Boston Red Sox plate frame (and you’re out). Now, I should probably be a bit ashamed by jumping to such a strong conclusion. Really, knowing I’d actually dislike this person sounds like a pretty big jump. But we’ve already started off so poorly. I know we disagree on just about everything already, plus their arrogant enough to flaunt their stupidity. We could never be friends, and I almost feel compelled to leave them a note saying so. Only I have my doubts they can actually read.
Things I’m sure of based on the observations stated above:
The driver is male, he’s a republican, he’s over compensating (he purchased a big bad pick-up, but thought it wasn’t enough, and had to give it the worst paint job since Michael Jackson’s face) he jumps on bandwagons (I believe he went to KSU, but there’s no way he grew up a Sox fan)
Wild guesses:
Up till three years ago, he had a Chiefs bracket around his plates. He’s single and he has a Budweiser poster framed over his futon. Has a dog named Dale, and they’re way to close, and he purchases Jiff but never eats PB&J.
But really, never judge a book by its cover. Speaking of, read the story below for more life lessons. And you thought Amy Fisher couldn’t end up being a decent human as an adult....
February 11, 2008 -- THE silicone in Amy Fisher's new D-cup boobs must have gone to her head - or why else would the Long Island Lolita say she couldn't care less that Mary Jo Buttafuoco still has the bullet Fisher fired in her brain?
"Mary Jo is a nonentity. People are angry at me because I'm a millionaire. But guess what? So is Mary Jo! She made more millions off of what I did than what I made," the heartless Fisher (see photo, next page) rants in an interview with Chaunce Hayden in this week's Steppin' Out magazine.
"I feel no sympathy for Mary Jo the multimillionaire! The fact that Mary Jo has a bullet in her head means nothing! I still have silicone in my boobs, and you don't hear me complaining. She can't feel her bullet, and I can't feel my silicone."
Fisher's remarks come just one month after the soon-to-be-remarried Mary Jo blasted her on a Web radio show for releasing a hardcore porn video to make a fast buck on her faded notoriety. Sixteen years ago, high schooler Amy, who was having an affair with Mary Jo's sleazeball husband, Joey, shot the unsuspecting and defenseless Mary Jo in the head - a cowardly act that put Fisher in the slammer for seven years.
"She's no Jenna Jameson, she's just a porn star . . . She tried to kill somebody, and now [she's] making money off it," fumed Mary Jo, who's penning a tell-all about her ordeal. Fisher fires back to Hayden: "She's trying to shop and peddle her wedding for money and she's trying to sell a book, OK?" Fisher now admits she recently lied about Joey being her boyfriend again just to get a reality TV show and to "p - - - Mary Jo off. I
know how to use the TV shows. They want ratings. It's all a business, and they made millions off of me."
But the bimbo claims she and Joey did have sex in the not-too-distant past. "But having sex with Joey wasn't that great 17 years later. I was like, 'Ewwwww.' It wasn't good at all," she tells Hayden. "When he was the older man 17 years ago, he was just 33 years old. But now he's 50 . . . He didn't take care of himself at all. He's got man boobs. So I quickly got sick of having sex with him. Our recent fling only lasted for a week."
Things I’m sure of based on the observations stated above:
The driver is male, he’s a republican, he’s over compensating (he purchased a big bad pick-up, but thought it wasn’t enough, and had to give it the worst paint job since Michael Jackson’s face) he jumps on bandwagons (I believe he went to KSU, but there’s no way he grew up a Sox fan)
Wild guesses:
Up till three years ago, he had a Chiefs bracket around his plates. He’s single and he has a Budweiser poster framed over his futon. Has a dog named Dale, and they’re way to close, and he purchases Jiff but never eats PB&J.
But really, never judge a book by its cover. Speaking of, read the story below for more life lessons. And you thought Amy Fisher couldn’t end up being a decent human as an adult....
February 11, 2008 -- THE silicone in Amy Fisher's new D-cup boobs must have gone to her head - or why else would the Long Island Lolita say she couldn't care less that Mary Jo Buttafuoco still has the bullet Fisher fired in her brain?
"Mary Jo is a nonentity. People are angry at me because I'm a millionaire. But guess what? So is Mary Jo! She made more millions off of what I did than what I made," the heartless Fisher (see photo, next page) rants in an interview with Chaunce Hayden in this week's Steppin' Out magazine.
"I feel no sympathy for Mary Jo the multimillionaire! The fact that Mary Jo has a bullet in her head means nothing! I still have silicone in my boobs, and you don't hear me complaining. She can't feel her bullet, and I can't feel my silicone."
Fisher's remarks come just one month after the soon-to-be-remarried Mary Jo blasted her on a Web radio show for releasing a hardcore porn video to make a fast buck on her faded notoriety. Sixteen years ago, high schooler Amy, who was having an affair with Mary Jo's sleazeball husband, Joey, shot the unsuspecting and defenseless Mary Jo in the head - a cowardly act that put Fisher in the slammer for seven years.
"She's no Jenna Jameson, she's just a porn star . . . She tried to kill somebody, and now [she's] making money off it," fumed Mary Jo, who's penning a tell-all about her ordeal. Fisher fires back to Hayden: "She's trying to shop and peddle her wedding for money and she's trying to sell a book, OK?" Fisher now admits she recently lied about Joey being her boyfriend again just to get a reality TV show and to "p - - - Mary Jo off. I
know how to use the TV shows. They want ratings. It's all a business, and they made millions off of me."
But the bimbo claims she and Joey did have sex in the not-too-distant past. "But having sex with Joey wasn't that great 17 years later. I was like, 'Ewwwww.' It wasn't good at all," she tells Hayden. "When he was the older man 17 years ago, he was just 33 years old. But now he's 50 . . . He didn't take care of himself at all. He's got man boobs. So I quickly got sick of having sex with him. Our recent fling only lasted for a week."
February 07, 2008
February 05, 2008
Age Old Question
Watching the Super Bowl half time show by Tom Petty, who was pretty fantastic, I couldn’t help but notice how old he is. And there’s just something funny about seeing these old guys rock. The Stones, Springsteen, Aerosmith, Neil Young, U2, The Eagles, and the rest of ‘em. Hell, Madonna is almost 50 now. And then I started wondering if we’ll see rappers sagging their pants on stage, grabbing their crotches and rhyming when they’re grandparents. Will Snoop tell us about Gin and Juice when he’s 55? Will Eminem play "Lose Yourself" when he can no longer control his bladder?
I’m not sure if it’s really cool that these guys haven’t ever really grown up, or if it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. When we see an athlete play past his prime, and we’re forced to see a guy who has become a shell of what made him great (think Jordan) we wish they had hung it up and left us with the fond memories of their greatness. When actors age, they can no longer play the same roles. Just look at Al Pacino, think he could pull of Michael Corelone or Scarface now? No way, and no one wants to see him try.
It isn’t that all the talent is gone, but what’s really the point? When Van Halen or the Police get together for a cash cow tour, aka a “reunion,” no one is going to see hear new stuff. It’s all for the sake of nostalgia, and I wonder if that really works. Remember the old Van Halen video, where they had actors playing the guys as kids, I think it was “Hot for Teacher.” I imagine that seeing them now is like seeing actors play the guys as old farts. Where in that is the warm fuzzy feeling of remembering yesteryear?
Why is this important? Well, now I’m a parent and I’m not sure if it’s possible for a parent to actually be cool. Do we just give up, admit we’ll never be cool again, and if we’re hoping to remain cool, is it because we actually are, or is it just for nostalgias’ sake?
Keep on rockin’ in the free world, bitches.
***
So Congress is now taking an interest in the NFL/Patriots’ “Spygate” scandal. Are you serious? They have an awful lot of time and energy invested in whats going on in professional sports, and seem to have zero trust in how both leagues are being run. Why should they? The NFL and baseball are setting income records every year, and the nations economy is headed for the shitter. The only thing they should ask of either league is, “how?” How do you make all that money? How do you guys get things done? How can we run our nation like you run the NFL or baseball? They don’t need to check up on cheating or scandals. Cheating and scandals are two areas thing our government could probably give lessons on.
I’m not sure if it’s really cool that these guys haven’t ever really grown up, or if it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. When we see an athlete play past his prime, and we’re forced to see a guy who has become a shell of what made him great (think Jordan) we wish they had hung it up and left us with the fond memories of their greatness. When actors age, they can no longer play the same roles. Just look at Al Pacino, think he could pull of Michael Corelone or Scarface now? No way, and no one wants to see him try.
It isn’t that all the talent is gone, but what’s really the point? When Van Halen or the Police get together for a cash cow tour, aka a “reunion,” no one is going to see hear new stuff. It’s all for the sake of nostalgia, and I wonder if that really works. Remember the old Van Halen video, where they had actors playing the guys as kids, I think it was “Hot for Teacher.” I imagine that seeing them now is like seeing actors play the guys as old farts. Where in that is the warm fuzzy feeling of remembering yesteryear?
Why is this important? Well, now I’m a parent and I’m not sure if it’s possible for a parent to actually be cool. Do we just give up, admit we’ll never be cool again, and if we’re hoping to remain cool, is it because we actually are, or is it just for nostalgias’ sake?
Keep on rockin’ in the free world, bitches.
***
So Congress is now taking an interest in the NFL/Patriots’ “Spygate” scandal. Are you serious? They have an awful lot of time and energy invested in whats going on in professional sports, and seem to have zero trust in how both leagues are being run. Why should they? The NFL and baseball are setting income records every year, and the nations economy is headed for the shitter. The only thing they should ask of either league is, “how?” How do you make all that money? How do you guys get things done? How can we run our nation like you run the NFL or baseball? They don’t need to check up on cheating or scandals. Cheating and scandals are two areas thing our government could probably give lessons on.
February 04, 2008
Super
I’m not a huge NFL or football fan, there’s no getting around it, but the Giants are my team. I do admit, however, part of me wanted to see the Patriots win. Just to witness history, it’s made easier because I genuinely like that team. But it didn’t happen, and although we know who the better team is, clearly, from what I saw, the team that deserved to win last night did so.
The coolest thing to me is that today there will be kids everywhere who rush out to recess, or after they get home from school. Hit their local backyard stadium, the yard where all the games are played, and try to re-enact that Manning to Tyree pass from the 4th quarter. We’ve all grown up on Super Bowl highlight shows, but to know the split second after a play is over, that it’s going to be in every show going forward, is really pretty amazing.
The Manning family is pretty easy to dislike. Peyton seems so obsessed with winning; I can picture him jeopardizing the health of his children just to finish a crossword puzzle. He’s the southern American version of Drago from Rocky, he’s just a machine. And Eli comes off like a country bumpkin, who seems to not even realize he’s in the shadow of his bigger brother. And their father Archie has been the poster-child for psycho soccer dads everywhere. But that all went away, at least for a second, when we saw how proud Peyton was for Eli in the 4th quarter. When celebrating the success of his little brother seemed to make him happier than his own successes, that’s when we caught a glimpse of a family we all want to be a part of.
The coolest thing to me is that today there will be kids everywhere who rush out to recess, or after they get home from school. Hit their local backyard stadium, the yard where all the games are played, and try to re-enact that Manning to Tyree pass from the 4th quarter. We’ve all grown up on Super Bowl highlight shows, but to know the split second after a play is over, that it’s going to be in every show going forward, is really pretty amazing.
The Manning family is pretty easy to dislike. Peyton seems so obsessed with winning; I can picture him jeopardizing the health of his children just to finish a crossword puzzle. He’s the southern American version of Drago from Rocky, he’s just a machine. And Eli comes off like a country bumpkin, who seems to not even realize he’s in the shadow of his bigger brother. And their father Archie has been the poster-child for psycho soccer dads everywhere. But that all went away, at least for a second, when we saw how proud Peyton was for Eli in the 4th quarter. When celebrating the success of his little brother seemed to make him happier than his own successes, that’s when we caught a glimpse of a family we all want to be a part of.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)