Insomnia

I finally gave up trying at 4am, which was all of 9 minutes ago. It just wasn’t my night for sleeping. I’ve had nights like this in the past, but when I was much younger and being up till 4am wasn’t even all that unusual then. I tried everything I could think of, I may have even tried counting sheep. I got out of bed a couple times and laid on the couch, because I knew the tossing and turning was disturbing my wifes sleep. She’s the lightest sleeper on the planet, I really feel for her. And that’s on every other night, when I know the dog shifting positions can wake her. Tonight must have been pure torture for her.

So I tried watching “Forensic Files” hoping that it would be almost interesting to pay attention to, but mostly solid background noise so I would stop paying attention to the seeing the minutes pass on the cable box. Tonight, I wish there was no cable tv. No cable TV would mean no digital boxes, displaying the green numbers so brightly in the dark of the room, that they could almost keep me up on their own. That, and the digital clock that sits around 17 inches from my face, made it impossible to ignore the vanishing-prime sleeping hours.

So I’m up, and I’ve given up. It just wasn’t my night. I came out to the living room, wrote my wife an apology, which will do little to help replace her hours of lost sleep and ironically enough, won’t let me sleep any better. ‘Cause you know, I can’t friggin sleep. The upside, as if there is one, is that I have my first blog post of 2009. I really wasn’t sure what I would write about, but I hope this is the last post I ever write about not being able to sleep. What kills me, is how much I sounded like the Kyd when she can’t sleep. She tosses and turns, and gets up and down like the Dow. I tried taking all the advice we’d normally give her. Nothing worked, and the longer I was up, the more I worried. Will I be a zombie at work tomorrow? Did I just start the worst week ever? If I get to sleep right this second, I’ll get a solid three hours, that’s passable, along with an extra Ritalin. How can I make this up to my wife? I probably asked those questions a few hundred times each, never once did I answer myself.

And now it’s 4:20am. There’s another ExtenZe ad on ESPN and I can’t even think of a joke for that. I’m not sure if I even want to fall asleep now, that would just make the waking up portion of my morning that much more difficult. A catnap wouldn’t be the worst thing, but it’s hardly a lock. Not for another hour anyway.