Another Post About Vegas

So, we’re now less then two weeks away from Vegas. As I write this, it’s 13 days, 23 hours and 24 minutes till take off but, who’s counting? Needless to say, I’m excited about this. Wait, that’s one of the most ridiculous phrases. Needless to say? If there was no need to say it, why the hell did I? That along with, “I could care less,” and “take a piss/dump.” First of all, there’s no way to prove that you could care less. And it’s usually said when someone really could care less. You could care so little that you don’t even mention how little you care, I mean the fact that you’re acknowledging how much you care proves you could in deed care less. That just bothers me. And “take a piss,” really? You don’t take that, or a dump. You leave it behind. I mean, you might take it but, that would just mean you didn’t wipe very well.

Oh yeah, I was talking about Vegas. Well, after the last two times I played poker, I think I may have forgotten how to play. It wasn’t just cold cards, although that didn’t help, it was the idiot behind the wheel driving. So to try and relearn how to play, I’ve been playing a little World Series of Poker on the Xbox. I really don’t think it’s going to make a difference. But there are two ways to look at it, either I’ll use up all my good luck or I’ll get all the bad luck out of the way. How this makes sense, I’m not sure, I only know it does. If you don’t believe me, ask someone who plays poker. Then if a poker player wins, they are positive luck had nothing to do with it. This makes sense because, most poker players are men, and we’re idiots.

But of course I have this pipe dream that I’m going to go, and I’m going to play the best poker that’s ever been played. And I’ll win big, huge even. So in my head I’ve already started thinking about how to spend my winnings, like everyone else does after they drive by one of those Powerball billboards. I don’t want to give it all away, or jinx it cause it’s such a sure thing but, it’s gonna be really great. See, you don’t realize it. Right now I’m trying the double reverse jinx. Don’t try this at home.

I’m also working on getting a cousin of mine that lives in LA to come meet my friends and I. And at the same time, I want him to talk his old boss into coming to. He used to work for Donny Deutsch, who now has a show on CNBC and has been on Celebrity Poker on Bravo. And I want so badly to play this guy. Not just because he’s worth a gazillion dollars but, I really respect how he plays. Okay, I just want a shot at his money.