Smoked

I forgot to mention something about Austin, a little fact that really did contribute to making our night out there so much fun. It’s fairly common, completely logical and of course something not done in Kansas City. I’m talking about smoke-free restaurants and bars. It’s the standard in New York, Los Angeles and even near by Lawrence. But of course, KC is behind the times on this as well. I hear smokers say how they have to smoke when they drink, and that’s a load of crap. Know how I know? There are smokers in New York, LA and Austin and they still make it out to eat and have a cocktail.

I’m pretty anti-smoking, just because it’s dumb, but I understand it’s a choice and I don’t think it’s right to legally tell people they can’t. But that doesn’t mean their choice should affect my life. Here, if I go out, I know I’ll come home smelling like an ashtray. I don’t enjoy that, it’s pretty disgusting. It’s not my disgusting habit, so I find it very rude. What if I just decided not to cover my mouth when I sneeze, and start spraying all the smokers? Hey, it’s a disgusting rude habit but, I gotta sneeze ya know. Tell me how they react when I cover them in snot. Probably prefer I wouldn’t do that.

Bar owners and restaurant owners in KC say how banning smoking will hurt their business, that’s bullshit. People will go out, I don’t think you’ll see a jump in Law & Order ratings when everyone decides they’ll stay home and smoke a pack while watching TV since they can’t smoke in a bar. People like to smoke when they drink, because in a bar everyone is smoking. Imagine if no one was. Wow, you could go out have a couple drinks and not have to smell it on your sheets for the next week. Go smoke-free, your patrons will be happier, as will your staff. There won’t be butts all over your floors, burn marks on chairs, or the stench. If it can work in college towns like Austin and Lawrence, and in every high school, I’d bet my life it can work in Kansas City.

Couple other things that bug me about smoking, and smokers. First, how come they always put the non-smoking section in the back of a restaurant? The point is I don’t want to be near it, but they’ll make you walk through a cloud of smoke to get to your table. And in many cases, there’s nothing separating the sections. Is the smoke supposed to know where to stop?

Another thing that baffles me about smokers, how they’ll “bum one” from a complete stranger. You won’t hand the bum on the street your spare change, but you have no problem asking someone you’ve never met for one of their cigarettes and no problem passing one off to some jerk off you made fun of 30 seconds before? Also, how do so many smokers walk around without a lighter or matches? You know you smoke; it’s not news to you. And to smoke, you need a way to light the damn cancer stick. Yet it’s 50/50 weather or not you actually have one or the other with you. What if I just went up to a stranger and asked for a stick of gum, a sip of their beer or one wing? They’d say no. Ask for a cigarette, and they won’t mind that I interrupted their conversation. Don’t tell me smoking doesn’t affect the brain, that’s just friggin dumb. Either smoking helped dumb you down to the point you can’t remember a lighter, or being that dumb is why you started smoking. Either way, it puts you on par with Corky. Only you smell worse, and he can do it without Becca!