The Hirp Factor

Here’s a quick top five of my most painful physical injuries of my life:

5. Broken thumb- age 15
4. Cut on forehead, required one stitch, done with fishing line- Age 5
3. Dog bite – age 15
2. Wire from braces into my cheek- age 14
1. Broken back- age 15

And now I may have a new #5. I wasn’t in a car accident, didn’t crush a finger with a hammer, and I didn’t shred my hamstring playing PlayStation. No, I had an un-impressive ingrown toe nail. And that motha hurt. But that probably wasn’t the most painful part of the experience, no that moment came when they gave me an injection right in my big toe. Which I’m sure you will all try to step on next time I see, so here’s a preemptive “asshole” for you.


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Since losing ESPN Radio I have come to love listening to Bill O’Reilly on my ride home. It’s like I can tune into something that gives me road rage, no longer do I need to wait for the a-hole who thinks having a blinker on means change lanes at his earliest convenience. Anyway, dickweed was rambling on about how HBO should have a conservative show like the Bill Maher show; he said the ratings would dwarf Mahers show. And this hasn’t happened because HBO is a part of the “liberal” media. He likes to point out how well his show does, as if that proves something.

Lets enter the Hirp No Spin Zone for a second Billy. The reason your show, and Fox itself does so well, isn’t because everyone loves right-wing propaganda shows, it’s because there’s a limited target audience for it, and if there were many more outlets for that shit, his ratings would go in the shitter. Olberman doesn’t get the viewers O’Reilly gets, because like minded viewers have more choices, and there’s more of them. I’d bet half of O’Reilly’s viewers are liberals, who like myself, enjoy getting angry at the doofus. If more networks had conservative programming, O’Reilly would take a big hit. He’s one of the few choices they have.

He was also talking to a guest who was recently on the Maher show, and O’Reilly mentioned how rudely he was treated. This is the same guy who is reduced to name calling when someone disagrees with him, and feels he has the right to physically move someone because they are blocking his cameraman’s shot. Those aren’t “rude” behaviors, just criminal. Oh, and leaving those pleasant voicemails for the ladies, that’s pure class.

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• Okay, so now the news outlets are reporting the layoff rumor. But I’m more confident that it won’t be me or anyone I know.
• In a March 13 post, I said made reference to actors and entertainers taking steroids. Well, there’s a story linking 50 Cent, Timbaland, Mary J Blige and Tyler Perry to an illegal HGH ring. Hot damn, I’m good.
• I remember a time when “black on black” crime was the talk of the nation, but what is up with this “white on white” kidnap/murder epidemic? Seems as if every week another perfectly good white girl disappears. Luckily, it’s only cute white girls and the rest of the population is safe. I think, I mean that’s all I hear about, so that must be the case