Hirpservations

Coming back from lunch today, I spied a vehicle in the parking lot, and I knew instantly that I would dislike the owner. This vehicle happened to be a souped up (strike 1) pick-up (foul ball) with a K-State license plate and a Boston Red Sox plate frame (and you’re out). Now, I should probably be a bit ashamed by jumping to such a strong conclusion. Really, knowing I’d actually dislike this person sounds like a pretty big jump. But we’ve already started off so poorly. I know we disagree on just about everything already, plus their arrogant enough to flaunt their stupidity. We could never be friends, and I almost feel compelled to leave them a note saying so. Only I have my doubts they can actually read.

Things I’m sure of based on the observations stated above:
The driver is male, he’s a republican, he’s over compensating (he purchased a big bad pick-up, but thought it wasn’t enough, and had to give it the worst paint job since Michael Jackson’s face) he jumps on bandwagons (I believe he went to KSU, but there’s no way he grew up a Sox fan)

Wild guesses:
Up till three years ago, he had a Chiefs bracket around his plates. He’s single and he has a Budweiser poster framed over his futon. Has a dog named Dale, and they’re way to close, and he purchases Jiff but never eats PB&J.

But really, never judge a book by its cover. Speaking of, read the story below for more life lessons. And you thought Amy Fisher couldn’t end up being a decent human as an adult....

February 11, 2008 -- THE silicone in Amy Fisher's new D-cup boobs must have gone to her head - or why else would the Long Island Lolita say she couldn't care less that Mary Jo Buttafuoco still has the bullet Fisher fired in her brain?
"Mary Jo is a nonentity. People are angry at me because I'm a millionaire. But guess what? So is Mary Jo! She made more millions off of what I did than what I made," the heartless Fisher (see photo, next page) rants in an interview with Chaunce Hayden in this week's Steppin' Out magazine.
"I feel no sympathy for Mary Jo the multimillionaire! The fact that Mary Jo has a bullet in her head means nothing! I still have silicone in my boobs, and you don't hear me complaining. She can't feel her bullet, and I can't feel my silicone."
Fisher's remarks come just one month after the soon-to-be-remarried Mary Jo blasted her on a Web radio show for releasing a hardcore porn video to make a fast buck on her faded notoriety. Sixteen years ago, high schooler Amy, who was having an affair with Mary Jo's sleazeball husband, Joey, shot the unsuspecting and defenseless Mary Jo in the head - a cowardly act that put Fisher in the slammer for seven years.
"She's no Jenna Jameson, she's just a porn star . . . She tried to kill somebody, and now [she's] making money off it," fumed Mary Jo, who's penning a tell-all about her ordeal. Fisher fires back to Hayden: "She's trying to shop and peddle her wedding for money and she's trying to sell a book, OK?" Fisher now admits she recently lied about Joey being her boyfriend again just to get a reality TV show and to "p - - - Mary Jo off. I
know how to use the TV shows. They want ratings. It's all a business, and they made millions off of me."
But the bimbo claims she and Joey did have sex in the not-too-distant past. "But having sex with Joey wasn't that great 17 years later. I was like, 'Ewwwww.' It wasn't good at all," she tells Hayden. "When he was the older man 17 years ago, he was just 33 years old. But now he's 50 . . . He didn't take care of himself at all. He's got man boobs. So I quickly got sick of having sex with him. Our recent fling only lasted for a week."