Brit

If Anna-Nicole Smith’s life was a train wreck, what does that make Britney Spears’? In the last week she checked herself into rehab, checked out less than 24 hours later, shaved her head and got two tattoos. And to top it all off, she went to the Valley. It was wacky and strange when she was getting marrying white trash and chomping gum, but now it’s crossed over to truly disturbing and borderline scary.

I flipped on the television this morning as I was getting ready for work; I wanted to know what the story was with all the sirens that woke me up that were followed by multiple helicopters flying near my apartment. And all I could find was everyone was talking about her shaving her head. They were interviewing psychologists and hair stylists for their take on what’s going on with Britney. But it took a caller on a radio station to actually make sense. It’s postpartum. Someone call Tom Cruise.

It’s actually not even that funny anymore. After seeing Anna-Nicole die, I actually wondered who would go next; Britney, Lindsay or Paris. I really don’t know what is about these girls. They’re all kind of trying to replace Michael Jackson. They’ve had too much, too soon, never had a childhood and haven’t a clue of how to act or even survive. And there’s no one who can set them straight. This won’t end well. So if Anna-Nicole was a train wreck, Britney must be a Space Shuttle tragedy. The entire voyage has been caught on tape, and we’ll analyze every second of the flight for years go come.