The Next Post

Alright so I'm going to warn you. This is going to be a longer then normal post. So, lock the office door. Take the phone off the hook. Put a pillow over the kids heads. Or, just be prepared to be interrupted and come back to this later. Whatever works best for you.

I got to thinking about this last night as I read more of "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs." Then began working on it inside my head last night and more on the way to work today. Which is typically how my personal favorite posts all begin. That said, I guess I've hyped this one up. Perhaps you're thinking it's the next ____ post? And oh the irony. That's exactly what this is about. "The next."

The Next, is something I've been a big fan of for as long as I can remember. Old friends Bum and V make fun of me for it, and it bugs them. Whenever there's a new young ball player I like to compare him to someone. It's the quickest and simplest way to accurately describe someone. To say, "Reggie Bush is the next Barry Sanders," automatically gives whoever you're talking to a very clear reference point for your expectations for said athlete.

I don't believe this is a sports only phenomenon. Hardly. Music, movies, TV and the people in our lives. Almost everyone and everything is "the new or the next ____" Take your personal life. I'd be willing to bet that everyone in your life plays a specific role in it. And before they came along, there was someone else who was in that role. Even the people that are totally un-like anyone else ever. That's their role. The wild-card. They may be completely different then the previous "wild-card." But that's because they are supposed to be.

As for pop culture, this theory is proven time and time again. And studio heads, record execs and television producers all know this. They plan, hope and dream to re-capture lightning in a bottle. And often do. Here's a list I've come up with of "new" or "next".

Old New/Next
Johnny Cash - Eminem
John Lennon - Everyone wanted it to be Kurt Cobain but I'd argue it is in fact Tupac.
Robert Deniro - Edward Norton
Al Pacino - Adrian Brody. See Ten Benny, The Restaurant and Liberty Hill and tell me you don't see young Pacino.
Harrison Ford - Will Smith. Sure he's black to Fords white guy. But he is the new wise ass action hero who guarantees 100mil at the box office
The Monkeys - The original boy band. New Kids, then N'SYNC.
Sliced Bread - The toaster, the microwave.
The phone - Touch tone, cordless, to cell phone
All In The Family - Married With Children
Happy Days - 90210, I shit you not. The similarities are uncanny
I Love Lucy - Will and Grace
Red Foxx - Richard Pryor ->Eddie Murphy -> Dave Chappelle
Willie Mays - Barry Bonds/Ken Griffey Jr
Dr J - Michael Jordan -> Kobe Bryant and now there's a handful of guys who have some Jordan in them
Oscar Robertson - Magic Johnson -> LeBron James who also has some Jordan and Dr J in him.
Nolan Ryan - Roger Clemens -> was supposed to be Kerry Wood then Josh Beckett
The toy rock - Fucking Furbies
David Farra(my 1st best friend) -David Hazen ->Brendan Kennedy then different people combined to fill that role

I really liked the movie Crash but the entire time I kept feeling as if it was like watching an updated Grand Canyon. How many times have you seen a movie that gave you that feeling?

It's like Chuck said in reference to MTV's The Real World. Everyone that gets casted on to that show, knows they have a role to play. Either the gay guy, the player yet angry black guy or the naive girl from the south. Everything else we see, at the very least attempts to play the role of something that came before it. Or maybe we try to put in that spot. We're still little kids who spent 10 minutes trying to hammer the square through the circle and in time figuring out where everything goes.