This isn't exactly how he worded it in his latest book "IV" though you'll get the point.
Think of someone who is your friend (do not select your best friend, but make sure the person is someone you would classify as “considerably more than an acquaintance”). Got one picked?
The friend is going to be attacked by a grizzly bear.
Now, this person will survive the bear attack; that is guaranteed. There is a 100% chance that your friend will live. However, the extent of his injuries is uknown; he might receive nothing but a few superficial cuts or he might lose a limb, even multiple limbs.
Now you have the power to prevent this attack. But there’s a catch. If you do so, it will always rain where ever you are, for the rest of your life. It could be a down pour, or a drizzle. But you’ll never see the sun again.
Would you prevent the attack?
October 31, 2006
October 30, 2006
What Kind Of Person Are You?
And I'm not just posting this cause I know one of the guys who made it. Friggin great stuff.
Brain Teaser
Draw a tic-tac-toe board. So you have 9 slots. Now, using the numbers 1-9, make all directions equal 15. The directions are up/down, across and diagonal. Use each number only once.
I'll post the answer in a couple of days.
I'll post the answer in a couple of days.
Hirplings
• Another day light saving has come and passed and I still haven’t figured out what happens to television shows when the “savings” occurs. I mentioned my big question, do they replay shows or what, to my dad and a couple of friends this weekend. They all thought they knew at first then when they gave it a little bit of thought, they realized they had no clue and thought it was a pretty interesting question. But the mystery continues.
• I watched a very good flick this weekend, United 93, check it out. That’s right, I really liked a movie about 9/11. But it’s nothing like World Trade Center and it was ten times better then it’s made for TV counterpart, Flight 93. But this isn’t a review. This is about a joke. I watched the movie with my parents, and my mom made the funniest, yet sickest joke I heard all weekend. There’s a scene where the would-be-terrorists are at the airport getting ready to board the plane. Mom deadpans, “they didn’t need to get their two hours early and go through security.”
So, now you know that my sick sense of humor came to me via genetics. And you can no longer blame me for anything offensive I may say.
• I’m not sure why I signed up to play fantasy football again this year. Before the season started it really sounded like a good idea. I think I was hoping the same thing I hoped for last year, playing fantasy football would help me regain my interest in football. It didn’t work last year, and it isn’t working this year. Remind me not to play next year. I like football enough to watch a few games, keep an eye on who is doing what. But not enough to put in the time and effort that playing fantasy football requires. I haven’t even made a trade offer or roster move this year. That’s t he best part of any fantasy sports league.
• I watched a very good flick this weekend, United 93, check it out. That’s right, I really liked a movie about 9/11. But it’s nothing like World Trade Center and it was ten times better then it’s made for TV counterpart, Flight 93. But this isn’t a review. This is about a joke. I watched the movie with my parents, and my mom made the funniest, yet sickest joke I heard all weekend. There’s a scene where the would-be-terrorists are at the airport getting ready to board the plane. Mom deadpans, “they didn’t need to get their two hours early and go through security.”
So, now you know that my sick sense of humor came to me via genetics. And you can no longer blame me for anything offensive I may say.
• I’m not sure why I signed up to play fantasy football again this year. Before the season started it really sounded like a good idea. I think I was hoping the same thing I hoped for last year, playing fantasy football would help me regain my interest in football. It didn’t work last year, and it isn’t working this year. Remind me not to play next year. I like football enough to watch a few games, keep an eye on who is doing what. But not enough to put in the time and effort that playing fantasy football requires. I haven’t even made a trade offer or roster move this year. That’s t he best part of any fantasy sports league.
October 27, 2006
I Am Not A Criminal
I’m actually not a loser but, sometimes I’m an idiot of loser like levels. A few years ago I got a parking ticket. Hardly the crime of the century, I know. Yesterday as I sifted through my mail, which I may or may not actually get out of my mailbox on a regular basis, I saw a letter from some law office. Um, that’s never good. I open it up to find out that I owe Kansas City a little change for an unpaid parking ticket. And that there’s some little thing called a “warrant” for my arrest. In a future post I’ll go over all the things in life that I never want to experience, being arrested is on the list.
It isn’t a huge deal or anything. I don’t have to turn myself in or anything dramatic like that, I simply had to go pay the ticket. For the record, I did so this morning. So really, it’s just an embarrassing oversight on my part. It’s not as if I’m a dead beat dad, and someone was collecting child support. I simply forgot to pay a stupid parking ticket, nearly three years ago. But anytime something happens, and there’s a chance it could lead you to handcuffs and bail, well it’s not a good feeling. I really didn’t even want to post about this but, well I did anyway.
If I were to analyze what lead me to this predicament, I’d say it’s my tendency to duck difficult situations or just un-wanted situations. I’m just guessing here but, this is probably why I sometimes don’t retrieve my snail mail for weeks at a time. There’s nothing good there. Just bills, junk mail, and credit card offers. The bills I pay them online, I don’t want to look at them any more then I need to. As a kid, I used to avoid looking at my report card when I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Luckily I’m not going to analyze the situation, so I don’t have to admit any of that.
Now let me tell you about the lovely people that work at our courthouse. Doors open at 8am, so I got there a good 10-15 minutes early. Finally the doors open and there’s one person ahead of me. He’s being helped, and I see three other people go up to their little windows and get them selves situated. They turn on their computers, put their coffee down. They move so slow, that if they moved any slower I’m sure they’d literally fall down. It looks as if one gentleman is about ready to open his window but, he goes in back again. It took nearly 10 minutes for someone to finally help me. I can’t imagine how bitter these people are. They couldn’t care less, I’m not a “customer” to them, just an idiot. The fact that there’s a meter running and I have to get work means nothing to them. They’d probably get a good laugh if I got a ticket for the meter expiring. Well, that’s assuming they have emotions like joy, and I’m fairly certain that they do not.
Anyway, the ticket is taken care of and I’m back to being an upstanding citizen.
It isn’t a huge deal or anything. I don’t have to turn myself in or anything dramatic like that, I simply had to go pay the ticket. For the record, I did so this morning. So really, it’s just an embarrassing oversight on my part. It’s not as if I’m a dead beat dad, and someone was collecting child support. I simply forgot to pay a stupid parking ticket, nearly three years ago. But anytime something happens, and there’s a chance it could lead you to handcuffs and bail, well it’s not a good feeling. I really didn’t even want to post about this but, well I did anyway.
If I were to analyze what lead me to this predicament, I’d say it’s my tendency to duck difficult situations or just un-wanted situations. I’m just guessing here but, this is probably why I sometimes don’t retrieve my snail mail for weeks at a time. There’s nothing good there. Just bills, junk mail, and credit card offers. The bills I pay them online, I don’t want to look at them any more then I need to. As a kid, I used to avoid looking at my report card when I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Luckily I’m not going to analyze the situation, so I don’t have to admit any of that.
Now let me tell you about the lovely people that work at our courthouse. Doors open at 8am, so I got there a good 10-15 minutes early. Finally the doors open and there’s one person ahead of me. He’s being helped, and I see three other people go up to their little windows and get them selves situated. They turn on their computers, put their coffee down. They move so slow, that if they moved any slower I’m sure they’d literally fall down. It looks as if one gentleman is about ready to open his window but, he goes in back again. It took nearly 10 minutes for someone to finally help me. I can’t imagine how bitter these people are. They couldn’t care less, I’m not a “customer” to them, just an idiot. The fact that there’s a meter running and I have to get work means nothing to them. They’d probably get a good laugh if I got a ticket for the meter expiring. Well, that’s assuming they have emotions like joy, and I’m fairly certain that they do not.
Anyway, the ticket is taken care of and I’m back to being an upstanding citizen.
October 26, 2006
Coach Hirp?
Go back to school, move to Chicago, pick up and move to Minneapolis for school, or find work in the Windy City. I wrestled with those questions for a while, all the while pretty much knowing that I didn’t have the guts to do either. Nor did I have the guts to admit it to myself, or anyone else for that matter, that I already knew the answer. The new job made the decision a lot easier, I won’t lie. But the decision was pretty much made before. And not just because I’m a tad bit afraid of change.
Picking up and moving, facing new challenges and making new friends sounds exciting and I’m sure it is. And there’s a part of me that would still like to try it. But you know what? I may not be a huge fan of Kansas City but, I have it pretty nice here. I have some really great friends. Why would I want to leave? Just to find new work, that I might enjoy more and it might be more rewarding. But what would happen to the rest of my life? My career could end up being more then I ever dreamed of but, without good friends, what’s the point?
Some of these friends I’ve known all my life but, most I’ve known five or more years. That isn’t easy to replace. Their families are my extended family. I know a new city doesn’t guarantee any of that, and I also realize they may some day have an opportunity that could cause them to move. And if that happens, good for them. They have to do what’s best for themselves and their families. But what’s best for me, is to be near these people. No matter how much grief they enjoy inflicting on me.
Not to sound like Roy Williams or anything but, “I’m Staying.” This doesn’t mean I’ll skip town at the next chance I get. Then again, maybe I will.
Picking up and moving, facing new challenges and making new friends sounds exciting and I’m sure it is. And there’s a part of me that would still like to try it. But you know what? I may not be a huge fan of Kansas City but, I have it pretty nice here. I have some really great friends. Why would I want to leave? Just to find new work, that I might enjoy more and it might be more rewarding. But what would happen to the rest of my life? My career could end up being more then I ever dreamed of but, without good friends, what’s the point?
Some of these friends I’ve known all my life but, most I’ve known five or more years. That isn’t easy to replace. Their families are my extended family. I know a new city doesn’t guarantee any of that, and I also realize they may some day have an opportunity that could cause them to move. And if that happens, good for them. They have to do what’s best for themselves and their families. But what’s best for me, is to be near these people. No matter how much grief they enjoy inflicting on me.
Not to sound like Roy Williams or anything but, “I’m Staying.” This doesn’t mean I’ll skip town at the next chance I get. Then again, maybe I will.
October 25, 2006
Kids
Kids are just mean. Not so much mean I guess but, they sure know which buttons to push. Yesterday my friends’ wife was out of town, and often when that is the situation I some how end up bringing pizza over. Well, last night that wasn’t the plan. Then he calls me, I had been home maybe five minutes, and tells me that his three year old daughter asked if I was bringing pizza over. Next, he actually puts her on the phone to ask. Well, no I hadn’t planned on it. But, well, now yes I’ll bring pizza. Like I’m gonna say no to that little voice. And they don’t live that close. They did but, some how decided it was smart to move to Johnson County. So, I gotta drive 15 minutes to get the pie because, not just any pie will do. Then another 25 minutes in rush hour traffic, just to serve the princess, and her brother the prince, some pizza. I’m never having my own kids. This is expensive enough, and I’m never going to have to pay for their therapy. And I will cause a few sessions, this I know.
So one of the perks I get with this new job is a free phone plan for myself, and I get discounts for up to six friends or family members. And since my niece is turning 15 next month, and has been begging for a phone since she was about seven, I think I’ll cave and hook her up. But I know she won’t take just any phone. It’ll have to have a camera, a fact that makes me nervous, and it will have to be pink. The up side is I can monitor her calls, both who she calls and how much she talks. Then I can track down any boys she may talk to and put the fear of God into them. If putting the fear into them doesn’t work, I’ll go all Toby Keith and put a boot in them. Really, deciding against having my own kids will go down as my best decision.
Well, training is about to start so I must go. I’ll try to post more later.
So one of the perks I get with this new job is a free phone plan for myself, and I get discounts for up to six friends or family members. And since my niece is turning 15 next month, and has been begging for a phone since she was about seven, I think I’ll cave and hook her up. But I know she won’t take just any phone. It’ll have to have a camera, a fact that makes me nervous, and it will have to be pink. The up side is I can monitor her calls, both who she calls and how much she talks. Then I can track down any boys she may talk to and put the fear of God into them. If putting the fear into them doesn’t work, I’ll go all Toby Keith and put a boot in them. Really, deciding against having my own kids will go down as my best decision.
Well, training is about to start so I must go. I’ll try to post more later.
October 24, 2006
Few More
• Well, I started the new job. Three weeks of training at Sprint University. So, it’s hardly an exciting three weeks. Have I mentioned how well I do in a class room environment? At least I can check my email. The new job has me both pumped, and a little bummed. Bummed because, I see exactly how stupid I am. I haven’t even received a check yet but, in my head I’m already spending the loot. You know the Lottery game we all play? Where you think about what you would do if you won a few million bucks. Well, I haven’t gotten any where near that but, I’m still playing the game. I see a flat screen tv, new laptop, new IPod, a vacation and maybe a condo in a little over a year. I really need a hobby.
• This past weekend I saw Flags of Our Fathers, the new Clint Eastwood war drama. Seriously, I think he’s one of the most overrated directors out there. I think people are just excited that Dirty Harry directs movies so they grade his work on a curve. I mean, it’s a good movie and all. But it isn’t memorable, and it doesn’t have much of an impact. It’s well done but nothing stands out about it. I think it may be because all the WWII movies have been done. There are more then a few scenes that could have had an impact but, felt like I had already seen them in Private Ryan. Maybe that’s because Steven Spielberg produced this one too. I think he has a deal where he must produce any and all movies about WWII.
• So Halloween is coming up, and I’ve been invited to go out and to go to a party. I have two ideas for a costume for myself. One is an idea I’ve kicked around for years. But, I never dress up for Halloween so I’ve had no use for it. That is “Jew-Pac.” I’d write Shalom over my stomach, wear a bandana, maybe do some drive by guilt. The other idea, and the more likely costume, is Turtle of Entourage.
• This past weekend I saw Flags of Our Fathers, the new Clint Eastwood war drama. Seriously, I think he’s one of the most overrated directors out there. I think people are just excited that Dirty Harry directs movies so they grade his work on a curve. I mean, it’s a good movie and all. But it isn’t memorable, and it doesn’t have much of an impact. It’s well done but nothing stands out about it. I think it may be because all the WWII movies have been done. There are more then a few scenes that could have had an impact but, felt like I had already seen them in Private Ryan. Maybe that’s because Steven Spielberg produced this one too. I think he has a deal where he must produce any and all movies about WWII.
• So Halloween is coming up, and I’ve been invited to go out and to go to a party. I have two ideas for a costume for myself. One is an idea I’ve kicked around for years. But, I never dress up for Halloween so I’ve had no use for it. That is “Jew-Pac.” I’d write Shalom over my stomach, wear a bandana, maybe do some drive by guilt. The other idea, and the more likely costume, is Turtle of Entourage.
October 20, 2006
Few Things
• I wish I had been a part of this but, I wasn’t. I came in to work this morning, and a couple people from our team took a bit of time last night to play a little prank on our supervisor. They covered everything in his cube in aluminum foil. I mean EVERY THING. Pictures on his wall? Check. Phone? Yep. Trash can, got it. His chair, monitor, and even items in his desk. It is friggin’ hysterical. And I have no doubt they will pay for it. But they also get the dunce cap. They actually signed their work. Between calling that move bold or stupid, without question I’d say stupid. I wish I had a camera phone.
• Well, last night my Mets lost a heart breaker of a game. It was an unbelievably exciting series between them and the St. Louis Cardinals. I really don’t have much to say about it. It’s going to sting for a while. But I can’t be all mad because, I also got pretty good news yesterday.
• The good news being that I got a new job with Sprint. Pretty excited about this. It’s a big kid job. Complete with a laptop and business cards. What scares me is, this is the type of job a 30 year old has. So I guess I really am about to turn 30. Crap. Speaking of, I think there may have been some confusion. I appreciate the birthday wishes I received on here the past week or so but, it’s a bit pre-mature. My actual birthday isn’t till late November. Not that I’m expecting anything then, I just want to hold on to my 20’s as long as possible.
• Well, last night my Mets lost a heart breaker of a game. It was an unbelievably exciting series between them and the St. Louis Cardinals. I really don’t have much to say about it. It’s going to sting for a while. But I can’t be all mad because, I also got pretty good news yesterday.
• The good news being that I got a new job with Sprint. Pretty excited about this. It’s a big kid job. Complete with a laptop and business cards. What scares me is, this is the type of job a 30 year old has. So I guess I really am about to turn 30. Crap. Speaking of, I think there may have been some confusion. I appreciate the birthday wishes I received on here the past week or so but, it’s a bit pre-mature. My actual birthday isn’t till late November. Not that I’m expecting anything then, I just want to hold on to my 20’s as long as possible.
October 19, 2006
Win and In
There’s some major upside to having little or no hair. Showers are faster, hat head isn’t a concern, a bottle of shampoo can last years, Great Clips can’t screw up a haircut and chicks dig it. But best off all, I don’t have to worry about Game 7 of the NLCS causing me to lose hair in patches. I may knaw off an entire finger, I could pace so much that I take the wax off my floors and if thing’s don’t go right I could end up drinking like Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. But I won’t have to watch my hair fall out.
I have a buddy who is a tad bit superstitious, if he watches one of his teams play and they win, the next time he has to sit in the same seat, wearing the same clothes and completely re-enact his pre-game ritual. I’m no where near that superstitious. But this October, the Mets haven’t lost a game that I watched from the comfort of my apartment. It’s not that they’ve lost every game I watched some where else. They won when I was at the ESPN Zone in Las Vegas, with a table full of Met fans behind us who were thrilled to see my Doc Gooden rookie card that I carry in my wallet. And they won when I sat with a couple Met fan friends at the Grand Falloon here in Kansas City. But, they lost when I played cards the other night and a couple of other times that I wasn’t home. So tonight, my ass will be at home. Luckily for me, it’s pretty easy to remember my pre-game meal.
I have some friends who have said they are rooting for the Mets because of me, which strikes me as a bit odd. There have been times I’ve rooted for a friends team, just to see them happy. But more often then not, if I don’t really have any attachment to the teams involved, I’ll find myself rooting against a friends’ team just so we can give each other grief. This depends mainly on which friend, some I actually enjoy watching suffer. Sorry, Red. Don’t judge me, he does the same thing. We’re just assholes like that.
I have a buddy who is a tad bit superstitious, if he watches one of his teams play and they win, the next time he has to sit in the same seat, wearing the same clothes and completely re-enact his pre-game ritual. I’m no where near that superstitious. But this October, the Mets haven’t lost a game that I watched from the comfort of my apartment. It’s not that they’ve lost every game I watched some where else. They won when I was at the ESPN Zone in Las Vegas, with a table full of Met fans behind us who were thrilled to see my Doc Gooden rookie card that I carry in my wallet. And they won when I sat with a couple Met fan friends at the Grand Falloon here in Kansas City. But, they lost when I played cards the other night and a couple of other times that I wasn’t home. So tonight, my ass will be at home. Luckily for me, it’s pretty easy to remember my pre-game meal.
I have some friends who have said they are rooting for the Mets because of me, which strikes me as a bit odd. There have been times I’ve rooted for a friends team, just to see them happy. But more often then not, if I don’t really have any attachment to the teams involved, I’ll find myself rooting against a friends’ team just so we can give each other grief. This depends mainly on which friend, some I actually enjoy watching suffer. Sorry, Red. Don’t judge me, he does the same thing. We’re just assholes like that.
October 17, 2006
Dumb Yankee
I know, I know. I’ve seen all the commercials, and I’ve heard it a million times. “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” I’m sure by sharing this I’m breaking all kinds of rules and might lose my Vegas pass but, so be it. It’s worth it. For the record, it doesn’t concern me or anyone I personally know. Just someone I really don’t care for who just so happens to play for the New York Yankees.
After first hearing the story, I was some what skeptical. But I heard the same story two more times, in different casinos and from different sources. So, I’m pretty confident that the story I’m about to share is true. See, Thursday morning we were playing in that tournament at Paris and one of the other players began to tell the table about the World Poker Tour games going on over at Bellagio. He said all the big names were there, this was something I knew before we got to Vegas so, it was no surprise. What makes this worth sharing is who was seen playing in a cash game with KU alum Sammy Farha, and the fact that it was the day after a tragedy struck one of his teammates. It was none other then Alex Rodriguez. Mr. 252 million himself, playing with what I’m told had to be near one hundred grand.
Now he’s filthy rich, and $100,000 to him is nothing. And I have no problem at all with him gambling with his money, that’s his business. What makes this a story worth telling is the fact that this poker game was going on Wednesday. The very day that Cory Lidle died in a plane crash in New York City. You may have seen something about this on the news, I think they mentioned it. So here is A-Rod, a guy with a serious image problem in New York right now, playing high stakes poker AFTER his teammate has been killed. I’m not saying he needed to release a statement as Derek Jeter and Jason Giambi did but, his playing cards was a statement. Only Dubya needs to work on an exit strategy more then Alex.
Alex reminds me so much of Kobe Bryant, it’s uncanny. Both guys are super intelligent, to the point that they out smart themselves. I was a fan of each of them at first, as I’ve always liked the guys who seemed to be the “next” great ones. Alex was to be the next Cal Ripken/Ken Griffey Jr., or even the Michael Jordan of baseball. And Kobe was the next Jordan. Each of them kind of started off on the wrong foot with Kobe orchestrating a trade from the Hornets to the Lakers and Alex holding his scholarship to Miami U over the Mariners to negotiate a better contract. Pretty typical negotiation tactics in pro-sports these days but, neither move was done by those they were supposed to take the torch from.
They are both these really good looking, very articulate and well behaved mega-stars who had egos that couldn’t handle playing second fiddle. Alex has Griffey Jr. as his teammate in Seattle, and there were reports that their relationship chilled. And everyone knows the soap opera that was Shaq and Kobe. They both just can’t seem to get out of their own way. They try so hard to be liked, and to say the right things that it all looks so well rehearsed and fake. They are both probably pretty decent guys, among professional athletes but, there’s no real personality of their own to embrace. So now I find myself disliking them both, and pretty vehemently I might add.
After first hearing the story, I was some what skeptical. But I heard the same story two more times, in different casinos and from different sources. So, I’m pretty confident that the story I’m about to share is true. See, Thursday morning we were playing in that tournament at Paris and one of the other players began to tell the table about the World Poker Tour games going on over at Bellagio. He said all the big names were there, this was something I knew before we got to Vegas so, it was no surprise. What makes this worth sharing is who was seen playing in a cash game with KU alum Sammy Farha, and the fact that it was the day after a tragedy struck one of his teammates. It was none other then Alex Rodriguez. Mr. 252 million himself, playing with what I’m told had to be near one hundred grand.
Now he’s filthy rich, and $100,000 to him is nothing. And I have no problem at all with him gambling with his money, that’s his business. What makes this a story worth telling is the fact that this poker game was going on Wednesday. The very day that Cory Lidle died in a plane crash in New York City. You may have seen something about this on the news, I think they mentioned it. So here is A-Rod, a guy with a serious image problem in New York right now, playing high stakes poker AFTER his teammate has been killed. I’m not saying he needed to release a statement as Derek Jeter and Jason Giambi did but, his playing cards was a statement. Only Dubya needs to work on an exit strategy more then Alex.
Alex reminds me so much of Kobe Bryant, it’s uncanny. Both guys are super intelligent, to the point that they out smart themselves. I was a fan of each of them at first, as I’ve always liked the guys who seemed to be the “next” great ones. Alex was to be the next Cal Ripken/Ken Griffey Jr., or even the Michael Jordan of baseball. And Kobe was the next Jordan. Each of them kind of started off on the wrong foot with Kobe orchestrating a trade from the Hornets to the Lakers and Alex holding his scholarship to Miami U over the Mariners to negotiate a better contract. Pretty typical negotiation tactics in pro-sports these days but, neither move was done by those they were supposed to take the torch from.
They are both these really good looking, very articulate and well behaved mega-stars who had egos that couldn’t handle playing second fiddle. Alex has Griffey Jr. as his teammate in Seattle, and there were reports that their relationship chilled. And everyone knows the soap opera that was Shaq and Kobe. They both just can’t seem to get out of their own way. They try so hard to be liked, and to say the right things that it all looks so well rehearsed and fake. They are both probably pretty decent guys, among professional athletes but, there’s no real personality of their own to embrace. So now I find myself disliking them both, and pretty vehemently I might add.
October 15, 2006
Vegas Recap
I’m baaaack. And I am exhausted but, what a great time. I probably shouldn’t be in the writers seat in this condition but, I feel bad I didn’t get to write any updates all weekend. So let me knock this recap out, and head back to my napping position on the couch.
Thursday morning we had a 6:30am flight, so we had to get up at about 3:45am. As if I was going to sleep at all anyway. It may not sound like it but, there’s actually an upside to having such an early flight to Vegas. First off all, the Vegas airport isn’t such a madhouse at that hour and getting a ride is a piece of cake. By the way if you go, take the shuttle. Round trip is $11, not the $20-$30 each way a cab would cost you. The other benefit to arriving so early is an obvious one: more gambling time.
The four of us (Austin, Dana, Kathleen and myself) all decided to play a tourney at Paris after breakfast. It was a three table, $45 buy-in tourney. I liked the structure, only I never really adjusted to the short stack they give you. The tourney I normally play in gives us $10,000 in chips, where as the Vegas tournaments were anywhere from $800-$2000 with the same blind structure. They randomly assign seating, and of course I end up at a table with Dana and Austin at my table. Even sitting on Austins left. This is not the situation any of us wanted. The guys at the table were great, and I learned Canadians love poker. And they’re a bunch of nice guys.
I finished 15th out of 30. Wasn’t too thrilled with how that went. Made a stupid play, going all in with a QJ suited trying to pick up some blinds because I was short stacked. And I didn’t just get caught with my hand in the cookie jaw, I got called by pocket Aces. So, I lost the cookies, my hand, my stack and a little bit of my pride. I’m out but, my three friends are still in. Pretty cool. And then it’s the final table, and my three friends are still in. Kathleen ended up finishing 8th, Dana 7th and Austin finished in the money at 4th place. How’s that for our first tournament? We kept our rep, bro. Well, except for me we did. Still, very cool and TONS of fun. That was actually the only poker I played the first day. My buddy came in from Phoenix and we went to dinner, saw some other casinos and I played some blackjack that night.
Friday morning Austin and I headed off to a MGM for a $65 buy-in. This was a much bigger game. Six tables, with alternates for the first hour. Everytime someone went out, a new guy took his place. This made for a huge prize pool. Sadly, I never even sniffed it. I went out after about an hour, again I made a move after getting down in chips and my A10 was knocked out by pocket threes. Austin didn’t fare much better. Very cool poker room over at MGM though.
We left and headed over to Mandalay Bay to play cash games. Austin headed for the no limit, while I decided to play 4-8 limit. I won $65 in about three hours before we headed back to the hotel. We met up with Dana and Kathleen and we decided to head down to Freemont Street, and the old school, definitely old school Binions. This place was a trip. The crowd was more KC then Vegas, I mean mullets and some of the ugliest people you’d ever see. But total characters. Again, Austin went with no limit, while the rest of us played limit. And I’ve never played so horrible in my life. I played probably 70% of my hands. I was all-in three times in the first hour or so. Then I got up about $100, pissed that all away and got back up $80 again before pissing it away again. We played till right around 6am. Great times, great times.
Saturday was our final day in Vegas. Austin and I headed over to Mirage to play in a single table, $70 sit and go. Great game. Nice pay out, much better odds then the bigger tourneys. I played pretty well. Got down to three players, with the first two places paying out $460 and $240, respectively. But I was severly short stacked. The other two players each had me out chipped 4-1. Waited and waited to double up, and anytime I came in a hand I was only able to pick up the blinds. Meanwhile, Dana and Kathleen went back to Paris to play another tournament. This time it was five tables. Dana and I exchanged text messages.
He goes out but, his wife Kathleen is still in. Then I get a text that she just knocked three guys out and took a $10,000 pot. Hmm. Interesting. Chip leader with 18 left. Final table. 7 left. 6 left. 5 left. 4. Three. She’s heads up. Wow. This is her second time playing poker in a casino, and she’s heads up in a Vegas tournament. Move over Annie Duke. Kathleen ended up finishing second. And is officially uninvited to any future poker games.
We decided to head to Palms on Saturday night. And wow. If I ever go back to Vegas, that is where I’m staying. The women there were completely insane. We were walking into Steak House 9, and the bathroom door next to the restaurant opens up and out comes Paris Hilton. She was maybe three feet away from me. Tomorrow I’ll head to the clinic to see if I caught anything. After dinner we walked around a bit, I think I may have a case of whiplash. I’ll have to talk to Devil Down to see if I can sue the Maloof Brothers for a few million. We made our way to the poker room. Which is tiny. I hadn’t played any no limit cash games, so I hop in. Played uber-tight. I could have turn coal into diamonds. Pokcet 8’s? Folded them after someone raised $40 pre-flop. It’s getting late, and well I have to leave for the airport in about three hours so Austin and I decide that the next hand will be our last. I’m down a whopping $5 after two plus hours. I get dealt QJ suited, and I get in. I forget if there was any raising yet. Flop comes AcA(?))J(?). So, I have two pair, and three to a flush. I’m against this guy who is so drunk, they’ve actually cut him off. This is Vegas, and they’ve decided someone should stop drinking. That would be like President Bush deciding we’ve dropped too many bombs in the middle east. He even tells me has the third ace, and he checks. I check too. I don’t really know if he’s telling the truth or not yet. The turn comes, and it’s another ace. Now I have a boat. And I no longer believe he has the ace. No way this drunk piece of crap has quad aces. Not on the last hand of my trip. I push my last $100+ into the pot. He says call, and flips over his Ace. You have GOT to be kidding me!!! I played that tight all night, get a great hand and lose all my money to a guy that has been cut off?? If I win that hand, I end the trip even. And head back to the hotel to pack.
So now we’re outside waiting for a cab. At this point I’m really not even upset. I don’t see how I could have gotten away from the hand at the time. Even the dealer said so when we ran into him in the casino. Suddenly the valets are talking about how “she’s around the corner.” And they get into frenzy. They are moving cabs and limos out of the way, and a lime green Palms stretch Caddy pulls up. As it’s driving up, I can see into the car and I see Paris again. Door opens and out pops Lindsay Lohan, who I barely see 3/4of her face as she is surrounded by walls, or security who just resemble brick walls. Then out came some shmucks followed by Paris. Who I thought actually looked better in person. That was just about it for celebs. Although I did play poker at the Palms with a rapper from the early 90’s named K-Solo, who I wasn’t sure if he was happy I recognized his name or not. And saw Kurt Thomas of the Phoenix Suns walking around the Palms.
All in all, a fantastic trip. Great town. But I don’t think I’m in any hurry to go back. Give me a few weeks of sleep and ask again.
October 11, 2006
Closing in on 30
So I have this “milestone” birthday fast approaching, and I’m not exactly thrilled about this fact. There’s just something about the sound of it, 30. Three-oh. I can’t be 30, I sure as hell don’t act thirty. I play video games, fantasy sports and I’m most proud of my useless knowledge of pop culture. At thirty I’m supposed to be more into playing the market then playing X-Box. Although almost everyone I know that is over thirty is more like me then they are what I imagine 30 is supposed to be.
See, I just read something that struck me in a weird way. A comment on a baseball message board claimed a 20 year cycle was coming full circle with the Mets winning their first World Series since 1986. I was 10 then. I remember thinking wow, double digits, awesome. I don’t know why I though 10 would be any different then 9. Just as I really have no reason to believe 30 will be much different then 29. There’s just a stigma that comes with saying “I’m in my 30’s” versus “I’m in my 20’s.” Suddenly I won’t be the young cool uncle, I’ll be the old used to be cool uncle. Or that’s what I think the kids will think. They probably won’t even give it a second thought, except to poke fun at me. It’s not child abuse if the kid started it.
But back to this “cycle” that was mentioned. This kind of freaks me out because, it means if things stay true to this, then the next time the Mets win the World Series (if they win it this year, knock on wood) that I’ll be 50. See, that’s why 30 is so scary. You blink your eyes and your 50. They can say 50 is the new 40 all they want but, that really doesn’t make it sound any better. (Morbid alert, the next sentence may sound depressing) I also know with my eating habits, and my genes, that at this rate I probably won’t make it 50.
I know this cycle is complete crap though. There’s no pattern, no defined cycle in sports or life. Things do happen, and they do go in a cycle of sorts. But it’s all completely random. For starters, the Mets won their first World Series in 1969. So the fact that they won it in 1986 disproves this theory faster then Tom Cruise can disprove the science of psychology.
The real point here is this: I don’t wanna grow up. I’m a Toys-R-Us Kid. So, screw 30 and forget 50.
See, I just read something that struck me in a weird way. A comment on a baseball message board claimed a 20 year cycle was coming full circle with the Mets winning their first World Series since 1986. I was 10 then. I remember thinking wow, double digits, awesome. I don’t know why I though 10 would be any different then 9. Just as I really have no reason to believe 30 will be much different then 29. There’s just a stigma that comes with saying “I’m in my 30’s” versus “I’m in my 20’s.” Suddenly I won’t be the young cool uncle, I’ll be the old used to be cool uncle. Or that’s what I think the kids will think. They probably won’t even give it a second thought, except to poke fun at me. It’s not child abuse if the kid started it.
But back to this “cycle” that was mentioned. This kind of freaks me out because, it means if things stay true to this, then the next time the Mets win the World Series (if they win it this year, knock on wood) that I’ll be 50. See, that’s why 30 is so scary. You blink your eyes and your 50. They can say 50 is the new 40 all they want but, that really doesn’t make it sound any better. (Morbid alert, the next sentence may sound depressing) I also know with my eating habits, and my genes, that at this rate I probably won’t make it 50.
I know this cycle is complete crap though. There’s no pattern, no defined cycle in sports or life. Things do happen, and they do go in a cycle of sorts. But it’s all completely random. For starters, the Mets won their first World Series in 1969. So the fact that they won it in 1986 disproves this theory faster then Tom Cruise can disprove the science of psychology.
The real point here is this: I don’t wanna grow up. I’m a Toys-R-Us Kid. So, screw 30 and forget 50.
October 10, 2006
Ma ma
Maybe it’s the weather, it’s cold and rainy, or maybe it’s the fact that I just accepted a full-time position with Sprint that comes with a paycut (can you believe this? To go from contractor to employ entails a significant pay DECREASE) but there’s something bugging me today. I shouldn’t be feeling down at all. After I leave work tomorrow I’m on vacation, what the hell do I have to be down about? Money issues? Everyone has those, and I only have my mouth to feed, so I know it could be a lot worse. Maybe worse isn’t the right word. Point is, I don’t have anyone else depending on my income. Right now, that’s a huge plus.
Maybe it’s the IPods fault, I have it on shuffle and right now I’m listening to Johnny Cash and his cover of Hurt. A pick me up it isn’t. And before that it was Citizen Cope with My Way Home. Oh hey, it’s Stay by John Legend. I’m now convinced my IPod wants me dead. But this isn’t depression, I’ve been there. This is just a rut. Just a few days, with a little too much stress, and a clock loudly ticking the seconds away in my head.
I also have an interview the day after I get back, which could be a very bad idea. The good news is made the second round of interviews with this company, and the pay would be a nice raise. But is scheduling an interview for the day after I get back really a good idea? It’s times like these that I’m absolutely sure I’m a moron. I shouldn’t be stressed about any of this. I swear it’s gotta be the weather or my Ipod. For crying out loud, the Mets are in the NLCS, I’m going to spend 72 hours either playing poker, drinking or participating in “other” activities. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Maybe it’s the IPods fault, I have it on shuffle and right now I’m listening to Johnny Cash and his cover of Hurt. A pick me up it isn’t. And before that it was Citizen Cope with My Way Home. Oh hey, it’s Stay by John Legend. I’m now convinced my IPod wants me dead. But this isn’t depression, I’ve been there. This is just a rut. Just a few days, with a little too much stress, and a clock loudly ticking the seconds away in my head.
I also have an interview the day after I get back, which could be a very bad idea. The good news is made the second round of interviews with this company, and the pay would be a nice raise. But is scheduling an interview for the day after I get back really a good idea? It’s times like these that I’m absolutely sure I’m a moron. I shouldn’t be stressed about any of this. I swear it’s gotta be the weather or my Ipod. For crying out loud, the Mets are in the NLCS, I’m going to spend 72 hours either playing poker, drinking or participating in “other” activities. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
The Departed
Yesterday was a bit hectic so I didn’t get a chance to write anything, sorry ‘bout that. I’m working some extra long days before my trip, and I moved down to the new building yesterday. Pretty cool digs too. But I do sit about six feet from my supervisor, and he was up and about every five minutes yesterday. As of now, we’re a little more then 48 hours away from take off.
This past weekend I saw “The Departed” and it is a must see. No, a MUST SEE. What if I told you there was a movie, directed by Scorese and staring Jack Nicholson as a crime boss, with Leo Dicaprio and Matt Damon as a cop and a worse cop, is that something you’d be interested in? Never mind best movie of the year, that’s easy to say. But Martin Scorese had the best movie of the 80’s in “Raging Bull” the best movie of the 90’s with “Goodfellas” and you can say the best movie of this decade with “The Departed. The fact that he has yet to win an Oscar is both one of the great mysteries and great injustices of our time. If they withhold another, then the whole damn thing is a farce.
They won’t, however, withhold one from Nicholson. As always, he commands the screen. Leo should also get a nomination and I could see him winning. Look, it’s time to forgive him for “Titanic”. I say that for me as much as anyone else, he’s a fantastic actor. And really, he only took two parts that made him so dreamy for school girls. For the most part, he’s done very good work in very good movies. Damon, continues to make us realize he’s the reason Ben Affleck even has a career still. Mark Whalberg stole every scene he was in, and Alec Baldwin had some of the greatest lines of the movie. I was ready to see it a second time right when the credits started to roll.
I’ll own it the day it comes out on DVD, and I’m 90% certain I’ll see it again in the theatre. But that was just part of the night’s entertainment. I saw the flick with my parents and some friends. This was pretty much the first time I ever included my parents with my friends. Either a sign of maturity or insanity, the jury is still out. But it was a good time, as my parents were huge fans of my friends and vice versa. Mom took about 30 seconds to start asking why they hadn’t hooked me up with any single girls. That is no exaggeration.
This past weekend I saw “The Departed” and it is a must see. No, a MUST SEE. What if I told you there was a movie, directed by Scorese and staring Jack Nicholson as a crime boss, with Leo Dicaprio and Matt Damon as a cop and a worse cop, is that something you’d be interested in? Never mind best movie of the year, that’s easy to say. But Martin Scorese had the best movie of the 80’s in “Raging Bull” the best movie of the 90’s with “Goodfellas” and you can say the best movie of this decade with “The Departed. The fact that he has yet to win an Oscar is both one of the great mysteries and great injustices of our time. If they withhold another, then the whole damn thing is a farce.
They won’t, however, withhold one from Nicholson. As always, he commands the screen. Leo should also get a nomination and I could see him winning. Look, it’s time to forgive him for “Titanic”. I say that for me as much as anyone else, he’s a fantastic actor. And really, he only took two parts that made him so dreamy for school girls. For the most part, he’s done very good work in very good movies. Damon, continues to make us realize he’s the reason Ben Affleck even has a career still. Mark Whalberg stole every scene he was in, and Alec Baldwin had some of the greatest lines of the movie. I was ready to see it a second time right when the credits started to roll.
I’ll own it the day it comes out on DVD, and I’m 90% certain I’ll see it again in the theatre. But that was just part of the night’s entertainment. I saw the flick with my parents and some friends. This was pretty much the first time I ever included my parents with my friends. Either a sign of maturity or insanity, the jury is still out. But it was a good time, as my parents were huge fans of my friends and vice versa. Mom took about 30 seconds to start asking why they hadn’t hooked me up with any single girls. That is no exaggeration.
October 06, 2006
Post #199. Mets, Marty, so Money
Last night I made a run to McDonalds for my pre-game meal and I encountered, perhaps the smartest man to ever walk the earth. I was wearing a Met hat and tee shirt, and this gentlemen looks at me as he waits in line and asks, “Are you a Met fan?”
Now, I didn’t say this but, this is pretty much what I thought. “Are you bright or what? I mean did you piece that together yourself Einstein, or do you have a team of monkeys helping you out? Seriously, was it the hat, the shirt or the combination that tipped you off? I need to know, totally ruined it for me. I was hoping to conceal my loyalty.”
Like I said, that’s just kind of what I thought. Instead I just said, “Yep, sure am.You?”
Was he? Was he going to be one of these guys that just jumped on the bandwagon? No, luckily he wasn’t. He told me he was a Cardinal fan. Needless to say, I was already hoping that the Mets would play the Cards next week. Now, I’m demanding it.
Earlier in the evening I was up at Sunfresh, and on my way in I saw this couple that was about my age. Both had on Met hats, so I complimented them on their hats as I was wearing one of mine at the time. What threw me off was the delay in their reaction, I could see their eyes move to my hat and then there was a hesitation as they figured out that yep, they had on Met hats too. See, they didn’t even realize it. Two brand new Met hats, obviously purchased just to show allegiance to their favorite team of the week. In my head, I saw myself stabbing them. I think I need some therapy. Maybe just a little bit.
Anyway, how ‘bout those Mets! They won last night, 4-1, over the Dodgers. We are now just five wins away from a trip to the World Series. I shouldn’t be going to Vegas, I should have known this was going to happen and planned a trip to the Series.
Tonight I’m going with some friends to see the new Martin Scoresese movie “The Departed.” I have high hopes for this flick. Anything less then something in the area of Michael Mann’s “Heat” will be a let down. Sorry, just impossible to not have high expectations when you have a cast of Jack, Damon, Leo, Marky Mark, Alec Baldwin and Martin Sheen, in a movie about cops and gangsters. I am officially giddy for this.
Now, I didn’t say this but, this is pretty much what I thought. “Are you bright or what? I mean did you piece that together yourself Einstein, or do you have a team of monkeys helping you out? Seriously, was it the hat, the shirt or the combination that tipped you off? I need to know, totally ruined it for me. I was hoping to conceal my loyalty.”
Like I said, that’s just kind of what I thought. Instead I just said, “Yep, sure am.You?”
Was he? Was he going to be one of these guys that just jumped on the bandwagon? No, luckily he wasn’t. He told me he was a Cardinal fan. Needless to say, I was already hoping that the Mets would play the Cards next week. Now, I’m demanding it.
Earlier in the evening I was up at Sunfresh, and on my way in I saw this couple that was about my age. Both had on Met hats, so I complimented them on their hats as I was wearing one of mine at the time. What threw me off was the delay in their reaction, I could see their eyes move to my hat and then there was a hesitation as they figured out that yep, they had on Met hats too. See, they didn’t even realize it. Two brand new Met hats, obviously purchased just to show allegiance to their favorite team of the week. In my head, I saw myself stabbing them. I think I need some therapy. Maybe just a little bit.
Anyway, how ‘bout those Mets! They won last night, 4-1, over the Dodgers. We are now just five wins away from a trip to the World Series. I shouldn’t be going to Vegas, I should have known this was going to happen and planned a trip to the Series.
Tonight I’m going with some friends to see the new Martin Scoresese movie “The Departed.” I have high hopes for this flick. Anything less then something in the area of Michael Mann’s “Heat” will be a let down. Sorry, just impossible to not have high expectations when you have a cast of Jack, Damon, Leo, Marky Mark, Alec Baldwin and Martin Sheen, in a movie about cops and gangsters. I am officially giddy for this.
October 05, 2006
Random Hirpizms
• This isn’t a good way to start off a day. I’m sure there are worse ways but, right now I can’t think of any. Here’s my problem, well my most recent one anyway. I got to work this morning and when I came in, I realized my Ipod headphones were broken. Not completely broken, that would almost be better. Nope, it’s just the right ear piece. So my conundrum is, do I fold on listening to music for the day or only have music in my left ear?
• I’m afraid if I listen in just my one ear for too long, I might end up with vertigo. I have no idea why I think this but, I’m almost convinced of it. At the same time, the prospect of not listening to music at all could lead to me going out of my mind. I should just go jump off the top of the building.
• Yesterday afternoon I jetted home from work to catch the Mets game, and my boys won 6-5. Damn exciting game. Typically I’m an anti-clapper. But, that’s mainly for planned claps. Where fans clap in unison, it drives me nuts. I’m telling you this as an excuse for why I was clapping alone in my apartment yesterday. I’m also against any planned high fives by fans. If you’re an athlete in the game, then fine, high five each other. I even appreciate well orchestrated high fives like Jose Reyes has with some teammates but, the fans that have to high five each other every 30 seconds should be shot. These are the same people who tuck in jerseys that have THEIR last name on the back. They shouldn’t be allowed to live. Maybe that’s a bit harsh. Sorry, just go watch Nascar.
• Speaking of Nascar, last night I was asked to act as a sub for some friends who are actually in a bowling league. You can’t expect me to pass up a night that guarantees mullets and Dale tattoos. Only I didn’t see either. I was crushed. It wasn’t a total let down, there were enough kids under the age of 9 at the bowling alley, at 11pm, to open a day care. And this might not be bad parenting. Just teach the kids to hustle. The highlight was seeing a poker game in a corner of the bar. I’m not sure if I was more excited or disappointed by the fact that each player looked to have $7.50 in change in front of them. All in all, I’m still a horrible bowler with no desire to get better but, it was a good time. However, I think a bowling alley might be the worst place to look for women. Seriously, the clinic and AA meetings would have to rate higher. At least those are women getting help.
• My days here are numbered. Well, I don’t have a new job yet and I don’t mean I’m getting fired. We’re moving to a new office downtown, next to Kemper Arena. And my new cube is VERY close to my supervisors cubical, so I’m not sure what kind of impact that may have on the frequency of my blog updates. I’m fairly certain it won’t be significant, and highly doubt it’ll change anything. This is a guy who had me enter a NCAA bracket at work and has sent entertaining links out to us from time to time. But still, could be a stupid move to let him see me typing away like this. Also, could make looking on Monster.com a really bad idea. The plus is, there may be a way to meet up with some friends for our beloved lunch time poker games. You only think I’m kidding.
• I’m afraid if I listen in just my one ear for too long, I might end up with vertigo. I have no idea why I think this but, I’m almost convinced of it. At the same time, the prospect of not listening to music at all could lead to me going out of my mind. I should just go jump off the top of the building.
• Yesterday afternoon I jetted home from work to catch the Mets game, and my boys won 6-5. Damn exciting game. Typically I’m an anti-clapper. But, that’s mainly for planned claps. Where fans clap in unison, it drives me nuts. I’m telling you this as an excuse for why I was clapping alone in my apartment yesterday. I’m also against any planned high fives by fans. If you’re an athlete in the game, then fine, high five each other. I even appreciate well orchestrated high fives like Jose Reyes has with some teammates but, the fans that have to high five each other every 30 seconds should be shot. These are the same people who tuck in jerseys that have THEIR last name on the back. They shouldn’t be allowed to live. Maybe that’s a bit harsh. Sorry, just go watch Nascar.
• Speaking of Nascar, last night I was asked to act as a sub for some friends who are actually in a bowling league. You can’t expect me to pass up a night that guarantees mullets and Dale tattoos. Only I didn’t see either. I was crushed. It wasn’t a total let down, there were enough kids under the age of 9 at the bowling alley, at 11pm, to open a day care. And this might not be bad parenting. Just teach the kids to hustle. The highlight was seeing a poker game in a corner of the bar. I’m not sure if I was more excited or disappointed by the fact that each player looked to have $7.50 in change in front of them. All in all, I’m still a horrible bowler with no desire to get better but, it was a good time. However, I think a bowling alley might be the worst place to look for women. Seriously, the clinic and AA meetings would have to rate higher. At least those are women getting help.
• My days here are numbered. Well, I don’t have a new job yet and I don’t mean I’m getting fired. We’re moving to a new office downtown, next to Kemper Arena. And my new cube is VERY close to my supervisors cubical, so I’m not sure what kind of impact that may have on the frequency of my blog updates. I’m fairly certain it won’t be significant, and highly doubt it’ll change anything. This is a guy who had me enter a NCAA bracket at work and has sent entertaining links out to us from time to time. But still, could be a stupid move to let him see me typing away like this. Also, could make looking on Monster.com a really bad idea. The plus is, there may be a way to meet up with some friends for our beloved lunch time poker games. You only think I’m kidding.
October 03, 2006
Studio 60, can I get an amen?
Last night on Studio 60, there was a scene that reminded me of one of my favorite West Wing scenes. I must say, I love it when people agree with me, it’s a sure fire sign of intelligence. I think it’s safe to say that Aaron Sorkin seems to share my views on religion. In the show last night, there was a skit on the show inside the show, called “Science Shmience” in which there was a game show panel consisting of an Orthodox Jew, a Muslim, a Born Again Christian, a witch and Tom Cruise. And they were asked questions about science, such as the fact that scientists have a human skull that they’ve said is 3 million years, yet the bible says that Adam and Eve was like 4,000 years ago. And then the panel attempts to debunk the scientists’ findings, with such gems like “they weren’t there.”
Anyway, in an old West Wing episode, President Bartlet met with a Christian leader who was sort of a Jerry Falwell type. They had the following exchange, which I just love:
President Josiah Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yes it does. Leviticus.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.
President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.
Anyway, in an old West Wing episode, President Bartlet met with a Christian leader who was sort of a Jerry Falwell type. They had the following exchange, which I just love:
President Josiah Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yes it does. Leviticus.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.
President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.
October 02, 2006
Lets Go Mets!
I’ve waited twenty years for this October. Or at least I hope I’ve waited twenty years for this October. That’s how long it’s been since the Mets won the World Series. They’ve gone back, just once back in 2000, when I was able to witness my first Subway Series. But they came up short when the Yankees ran over them. And they made the playoffs in 1999. It’s not as if Met fans have been as tortured as Cub fans or even Royal fans. But that’s not my problem. This isn’t about sympathy. This is about the Mets going into the playoffs tied with the Yankees for the best record in baseball, and the fact that I might get to see the title return to Flushing.
Earlier in the year the Mets invited the entire ’86 team back to Shea to honor them, sadly there was one fan favorite missing due to his incarceration. Not as if we need to help remembering that team, ask any Met fan who was alive then and you’ll hear an encyclopedia of useless info about the team. The roster, more stats quoted to you in Anna Nicole Smiths biography and a favorite memory. So am I excited? Hell yes. But it wouldn’t be my style to be overly confident. I have am trying out what is referred to as, guarded optimism.
I know we have as good of a shot as any team left, except maybe the Yankees. But I also see a lot of reasons why we could get bounced in the first round by the Dodgers. And you’d think I would be hoping for a Subway Series right? Normally I would, whatever is best for the city is what I want. Except this year, the Detroit Tigers are also in the playoffs and for the first time since 1987. It’s not as if I’m some big Tiger fan but, I have cousins who were raised in Detroit and they are. They also now live in Los Angeles, so beating the Tigers would accomplish two things. For one, I’d get to talk some serious trash to them throughout the World Series. And secondly, anytime I get these guys to acknowledge New York as the best at anything, well that’s just good fun.
So my fingers are crossed, and I’ll be spending a lot of hours in front of a television this week and hopefully throughout the month. You would think I couldn’t be happier. And you’d be wrong. See, there’s one thing that’s bothering me. The fact that suddenly I’m noticing more Met hats around. And they aren’t well worn hats; no you can tell they are brand new. I’m pretty sure it’s the same people who just a few years ago ran out and got their Red Sox hats. Can I just tell you how much I hate bandwagon jumpers? I don’t care what bandwagon they’re jumping on. Could be season five and they just started watching the Sopranos and they want to act as if they were big fans since season one or they could be the people who became huge Tupac fans after he died, and try it to tell you they had his first CD.
Bandwagon jumpers are just sad individuals. Part of me understands the draw of wanting to be on board. You see a group of people who have some connection, they totally bond over some thing as silly as a baseball team or what have you. But that bond doesn’t just come from wearing a hat, or knowing usless trivia about Tony Soprano. It comes from being there from the beginning, through the ups and the downs. But what I don’t understand about those jumping on this bandwagon is, they don’t see a lot of Met fans around here. We aren’t the Red Sox with 80 some odd years of misery. I understood getting on that bandwagon because, that was just something great to see and I imagine amazing to be a part of. I could understand people around here going for the Cards, using the fact that they are from Missouri and it’s almost a home team. Cheering for the Tigers or Twins, since they play in the same division as the Royals. I don’t agree with that reasoning but I understand it. And they don’t have the best record, jumping on board with the team with the best record is the equivalent as picking Maxims Sexiest Woman of the Year as the #1 spot on your laminated list. It’s the same as waiting for the critics to pick their favorite for Best Picture, then claiming that as your favorite movie of the year. Bandwagon jumpers have no souls. They are even worse then Yankee fans.
I’ve lived in Kansas City for almost 18 years now (HOLY CRAP!). And I see maybe two or three Met hats a year. If I’m lucky enough to have one of mine on at the time, there’s always a tip of the brim to the other Met fan. Often there’s a brief conversation. Have I told you how awful I am when it comes to talking with strangers? But put a blue hat with an orange NY, and we’re long lost friends. Without hesitation I’ll break out the Dwight Gooden rookie card I carry around in my wallet, and only they’ll think it’s cool. Yesterday I walked down to McDonalds for my dinner, walking past Tony Gonzalez on the way which was pretty cool, and in that 2 block walk I saw two new Met hats. I still had to tip my brim, and give an approving smile but, I wanted to just snatch the hats off their heads.
Anyway, what’s important is the Mets play the Dodgers Tuesday afternoon. I hope there’s more and more jumping on the bandwagon throughout the month, I hope it gets nice and full. Don’t need to worry too much about it becaus real fans don’t ride on the bandwagon so they can’t crowd me.
Earlier in the year the Mets invited the entire ’86 team back to Shea to honor them, sadly there was one fan favorite missing due to his incarceration. Not as if we need to help remembering that team, ask any Met fan who was alive then and you’ll hear an encyclopedia of useless info about the team. The roster, more stats quoted to you in Anna Nicole Smiths biography and a favorite memory. So am I excited? Hell yes. But it wouldn’t be my style to be overly confident. I have am trying out what is referred to as, guarded optimism.
I know we have as good of a shot as any team left, except maybe the Yankees. But I also see a lot of reasons why we could get bounced in the first round by the Dodgers. And you’d think I would be hoping for a Subway Series right? Normally I would, whatever is best for the city is what I want. Except this year, the Detroit Tigers are also in the playoffs and for the first time since 1987. It’s not as if I’m some big Tiger fan but, I have cousins who were raised in Detroit and they are. They also now live in Los Angeles, so beating the Tigers would accomplish two things. For one, I’d get to talk some serious trash to them throughout the World Series. And secondly, anytime I get these guys to acknowledge New York as the best at anything, well that’s just good fun.
So my fingers are crossed, and I’ll be spending a lot of hours in front of a television this week and hopefully throughout the month. You would think I couldn’t be happier. And you’d be wrong. See, there’s one thing that’s bothering me. The fact that suddenly I’m noticing more Met hats around. And they aren’t well worn hats; no you can tell they are brand new. I’m pretty sure it’s the same people who just a few years ago ran out and got their Red Sox hats. Can I just tell you how much I hate bandwagon jumpers? I don’t care what bandwagon they’re jumping on. Could be season five and they just started watching the Sopranos and they want to act as if they were big fans since season one or they could be the people who became huge Tupac fans after he died, and try it to tell you they had his first CD.
Bandwagon jumpers are just sad individuals. Part of me understands the draw of wanting to be on board. You see a group of people who have some connection, they totally bond over some thing as silly as a baseball team or what have you. But that bond doesn’t just come from wearing a hat, or knowing usless trivia about Tony Soprano. It comes from being there from the beginning, through the ups and the downs. But what I don’t understand about those jumping on this bandwagon is, they don’t see a lot of Met fans around here. We aren’t the Red Sox with 80 some odd years of misery. I understood getting on that bandwagon because, that was just something great to see and I imagine amazing to be a part of. I could understand people around here going for the Cards, using the fact that they are from Missouri and it’s almost a home team. Cheering for the Tigers or Twins, since they play in the same division as the Royals. I don’t agree with that reasoning but I understand it. And they don’t have the best record, jumping on board with the team with the best record is the equivalent as picking Maxims Sexiest Woman of the Year as the #1 spot on your laminated list. It’s the same as waiting for the critics to pick their favorite for Best Picture, then claiming that as your favorite movie of the year. Bandwagon jumpers have no souls. They are even worse then Yankee fans.
I’ve lived in Kansas City for almost 18 years now (HOLY CRAP!). And I see maybe two or three Met hats a year. If I’m lucky enough to have one of mine on at the time, there’s always a tip of the brim to the other Met fan. Often there’s a brief conversation. Have I told you how awful I am when it comes to talking with strangers? But put a blue hat with an orange NY, and we’re long lost friends. Without hesitation I’ll break out the Dwight Gooden rookie card I carry around in my wallet, and only they’ll think it’s cool. Yesterday I walked down to McDonalds for my dinner, walking past Tony Gonzalez on the way which was pretty cool, and in that 2 block walk I saw two new Met hats. I still had to tip my brim, and give an approving smile but, I wanted to just snatch the hats off their heads.
Anyway, what’s important is the Mets play the Dodgers Tuesday afternoon. I hope there’s more and more jumping on the bandwagon throughout the month, I hope it gets nice and full. Don’t need to worry too much about it becaus real fans don’t ride on the bandwagon so they can’t crowd me.
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