Asses Slapping Asses

Last night I met up with a friend at a bar near my place. Did some people watching while I was there, and saw the biggest group of cheese dicks. We're talking guys over 30, acting like a cross between frat boys and 14 year olds. Okay, maybe those two are too similar to have a "cross between." I don't know. These idiots spent hours slapping each others asses and yelling good game, while playing golden tee and pool. They were having the time of their lives slapping each others asses. Woulda been one thing if that was their scene I guess. But when you watch them get rude with how they were hitting on the waitress or showing zero tact in checking out the women in the bar, you kinda get the feeling they wanted everyone to think they were straight. Now in my people watching, I also picked up on some of their conversation. They were from out of town and in KC for a week. One guy, I had pegged as being from the Bronx. Ended up talking to him for a minute about New York. Dude was wearing some cheesy ass gold jewelry, you know the type. Three or four chains, couple bracelets, rings and a gold watch. Talked with his hands. Didn't get offended when I called him Carlito Brigante. Yep, you guessed it. He was a Yankee fan. Even had a Yankee necklace. Although I think he wanted one of his buddies to give him a pearl one. Anyway, let me tell you about some of these other jerk offs.

One was actually from KC, and just a guy they started playing pool with. Now this guy was talking about money all night. And well, when you're the guy at the bar who is telling everyone around you that you make six figures yet you're wearing wrinkled dockers, scuffed up payless shoes and no watch, sorry I just can't believe it. Not because someone who makes that much money wouldn't wear that stuff. Plenty of people making serious bank can have zero fashion sense or just not put much into their wardrobe and that's fine. But if you're the guy who makes that cash AND talks about it? Well, then you also like what you wear and the drinks you buy to speak for you. I'm saying a Movado, Tag or maybe a Rolex. Hell, a Citizen at the very least. But cheap cell on the belt clip? The only question was why the hell did I notice this shit? I'll tell you. First thing I thought about after seeing these guys for a few minutes and their antics was, "this is going into a post."

Now for the guy from Texas. The guy who kinda kept his eye on the Heat-Mavs game. Yet didn't make a peep till the game was tied. Then he was all about "you don't mess with Texas." I shit you not. He got all proud of the Mavs then. And this is when he noticed the Rangers-Royals game was on and the Rangers were up 11-10. He thought that was awesome Um, dude your team has given up 10 runs to the Royals. You might as well brag about fucking an ugly chick. Sadly he wasn't there to see the Royals actually won the game. I mean, I want the Mavs to win. But just cause he was such a jackass, I found myself actually pulling for the Heat for a few minutes. Then I went back to realizing Pat Riley is the basketball equivalent to Judas. Or so I think. What's a Jew know about Judas? I know I don't know much about Judas but he doesn't seem real popular. Anyway, fuck Riley. But this guy. This fuggin' guy. Texan right? They have cowboys right? Cowboys are supposed to be gentlemen right? That's the appeal I thought. I hear him talking to the waitress. He wants to put his tip (money) in her back pocket. She says no, so he says what if there's another 10 in there (money again) I see her smile and say no, so she takes the tip (money pervs) smiles and turns around, and makes this face. It was classic. Her face said "I'm going to kick this guy in the balls so hard the come out of his mouth, then I'm going to rip off his head." It took a split second for her to go from kind smile to asshole customer, to so pissed it's scary. I later offered her $10 to "accidentally spill a drink" on this clown. Mainly cause for $10, it would have been great entertainment. She declined. I have no doubts she put rat poison in his drink though. Or so I hope. Look, I'm not against having a good time at a bar and with the staff there. But there's no reason to be a complete jackass. Anyone who has been out with me knows I'll check out the scenery and sometimes be pretty obvious about it. But you won't ever see me high five a guy cause some girl across the bar is cute.

All this brings me to the good news. Wanna see a group of guys have a good time, hit on AND actually get the girls, party like everyone wants to? Well the wait ends Sunday. Entourage is back! And I couldn't be more pumped about it. Coming after a disappointing Sopranos season, with a buzz and more hype then a New York City point guard, I have all the confidence that it's going to be an unforgettable season. The first two seasons were fantastic. And I think it's just going to get better. Entourage gets better and better. And season three is what makes a show a classic. Plenty of shows had huge followings and critical acclaim for their first two seasons. But any show that nails season three, ends up in the hall of fame.