PTI

Here comes a bit of a curveball. We here at Hirp.com are going to get into a subject we normally don't. And by we, I do mean me. It's one of the few subjects I'm not an expert on. And before there's any rumor started, let me say this. No, I did not stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. What happened was a conversation took place between myself and a friend. In the wake of this conversation I felt I could best express my thoughts if I took the time to write them out. So today we're going to get into love, relationships, marriage and all that crap.

See, my friend and I were talking about "true love" or "soulmates" and what can cause a marriage to fail. And that right there is part of my beef. "Fail" I'm not saying a marriage that ends in a divorce is exactly the most successful marriage but, to label it as a failure is a bit harsh in my estimation. Most friendships and or relationships in our lives, simply don't last forever. This doesn't nessarsarily make them failures.

Let's be honest, 50% of marriages end in divorce now. That's a huge number. So just based on the stats, it's a coin flip. If you flip a coin and call tails, and it comes up heads did you fail? No, just got unlucky. I know it's a bit harsh to compare this holy union to a coin flip. But step back and take a look at more analytical look at it. No, it's not very romantic. Just bare with me a minute and put romance on hold. Seriously, if half end does anyone know the percentage of those that last that would qualify as "happily married?" Well I don't know the number. But, I think it's safe to say that it's not 100%. So let's, for arguments sake, say that 75% of marriages that last are happily married. So now we're at like 37% of all marriages are happy.

Should we assume they are the only ones to marry their "true loves?" Hell no. What ends most marriages isn't that these people all picked the wrong person. There's hundreds, if not thousands of variables that come into play. The most common, in my opinion, is lack of communication. However, that doesn't mean if people just made a point to communicate better, that they'd last. Hardly. Maybe they'd just know to end things sooner. Fact is, people do change. They begin to want different things. Or other stresses of life come into play.

Most people want to believe they didn't marry for money. And it's not that money or financial stability is WHY they married. But not having that, can sure as hell screw things up. And not because the wife of husband is shallow or superficial. Could be the guy feels guilty for not "providing" his wife with the life style he'd like to provide for her. Might not have shit to do with what she wants. But now he's got guilt, or pride issues and that steamrolls into resentment and a whole new bag-o-shit. So they divorce. It wasn't that they never "really" loved each other. And they probably still do.

In fact, I happen to believe no feelings ever go away. You love someone, I think you always will. However, there may be newer feelings that come along and those might be stronger feelings. But in any relationship, or friendship of any kind. Whatever feelings were there in the beginning, I believe, are always there. Which is why when said relationship ends, it hurts people so much. Sure there's those moments of self doubt, and the "how could I let myself get hurt" But that isn't because those feelings stopped. If that was the case, people would just be totally indifferent when these things end. It would be more like the end of a very average movie. Not one you loved, and not one you hated so much you want your money back. Like the recent King Kong. It might have lasted too long but, it wasn't horrible. Nor was it great. It just was.

This is why I think poker makes for such great analogies. Basically, you want to play the odds. In poker, you want to get in the hand with the best cards. If you lose, it's either because you mis-played the hand or got unlucky. For me, same goes with relationships. I want to get involved with the best chance of whatever it is, ending up as a good experience. If it ends, well I hope it's because I was just unlucky. Plenty of times aces get beat by a lesser hand. But I'll always take my chances with a pair of aces. Just try to take the badbeats gracefully. And if you can't, be so bitter about it that it's entertaining. I guess I am an expert after all.