For someone who has never done an illegal drug in his life, I have plenty of experience with drugs. Last night I was talking to a relative that I have all the respect in the world for, and he admitted to me that he had tried a few different types on more than one occasion. Now this is something I had pretty much figured out for myself a few years ago but, it’s probably a good thing he didn’t tell me this much earlier. But for so long he was someone who I not only thought could do no wrong, I thought he never did. Grades, he got ‘em. Career? Has the best and is the best at it. Wife? A ten. Hair? Well okay, he made a mistake or two.
For a very long time, it was imbededed in my brain how bad drugs were. Everyone said so. My teachers, Nancy Reagan, my parents, the kids in rehab I saw weekly when I was twelve and visiting my sister, and I saw drugs destroy Dwight Gooden and his career.
In high school I heard plenty of talk of kids getting high, and 90% of the talk centered on weed. The drug which was also pretty prevalent in the music I listened to around the clock, so that wasn’t earth shattering to me. Still, when I would find out if this friend or that friend had gotten high it would always cause me to do a double take. I mean, how stupid could they be? In my mind, trying any drugs at all would undoubtedly lead to a life of addiction. That’s what they taught in school, and that is what I had seen happen to someone close to me. The decision was made early on that I would never try any. I would just say no. Nope to dope, drug free for me. I think I am the only person those lame ass phrases worked on.
Any wiggle room I had, to maybe one day just take a hit, disappeared when I was 15 and became an uncle for the first time. Right then I knew there was no way I’d change my mind. I wanted to be able to look my niece in the high when she was in high school, and tell her that not everyone tries. That yes it was a choice she’d have to make for herself but, you could still be relatively cool and not get high.
So by the time I got to my twenties, I had pretty much figured that the only thing people actually did was smoke weed once in a while. Or for some, it was a daily almost hourly pastime. But everyone had moved on from the hard stuff, that was high school right? Wrong. I hung out with a group and they are nice enough people, but it was around this group that I first witnessed someone do cocaine. The first time, second and a few other times. In fact the first person I saw ever do coke, was a med student. That wasn’t an easy feeling. And after being exposed to it, I saw a few things. First, wow doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. And holy crap, it’s not that big of a deal! It should be but, it isn’t.
This is when I learned there is such thing as recreational drug use. I was in my early twenties at the time, so for nearly 15 years I thought anyone doing any drug at all, had to be an addict. And hearing if so and so had tried this or that drug, that would rock my world. Now I saw people who kept steady jobs, looked their parents in the eye and still from time to time would put a wrapped dollar bill up their nose and they didn’t end up like Jason Patrick in Rush.
Which brings us back to what my relative told me last night. If he had told me this say, six or seven years ago he would have been knocked of the pedestal I put him on (this is a whole separate fault of mine) and in all honesty the news would have upset me for days. But I have experience with drugs even without ever doing any. And I was able to figure it out myself a few years back. Given his line of work, where he lives, I just kind of assumed he had. Maybe that’s wrong, maybe I owe him an apology for assuming anything. But it didn’t change what or how I thought of him. People try drugs. People you never expect. And some people never touch ‘em sometimes and that too can be the people you’d never expect.
I won’t lie, I’ve been curious. But I made myself a promise, and I will keep it. That doesn’t mean I never wondered what coke really did for people. Or what it was like to hit a club after taking some X. Marijuana, never really had any interest though. From what I hear, and have seen it just makes you kind of lazy. I don’t need a drug for that. And promise or not, I probably was never going to try drugs. I’m just not the adventurous, hey let me try this and experience that type. And I still hope none of my nieces, nephews or friends kids ever try any drugs. It’s still playing Russian roulette. Cause as Mr. Garrison says, “Drugs are bad, mmmkay.”
August 31, 2006
August 30, 2006
Random Hirpizms
• You really have just got to love professional athletes these days. Houston Astros Pitcher Roy Oswalt, just signed a 5 year $73 million extension. Now Oswalt, seems like a good enough kid but, I just love what he said about his father after signing the deal. "He's my life. The things he's done for me growing up, he's been tremendous," Oswalt said. "Hopefully, now I can put them out of work. I've been waiting on this day."
In the past three seasons Oswalt earned roughly $20 million. What kind of retirement did his parents need?
• Am I the only one who saw the reports about Tropical Storm Ernesto and thought it sounded an awful lot like a typical thunderstorm in the KC area?
• Know some football fans? Go to heybuttercup.com and have some fun with them. Good times brought to you by the boys, and probably girls, at Deutsch LA.
• The fall television season is fast approaching us, here are a few shows I’m looking forward to; Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, Scrubs, House, Two and a Half Men and Entourage. When does season four start?!
• So John Marc Karr didn’t kill JonBenet, what kind of odds did Vegas have on that? If he goes to prison, he’s as good as dead. But if anyone is capable of pulling off an insane defense, it has to be him. Let’s see, you confessed to a murder and rape you didn’t commit, you got a serious problem with kids and you want to be a woman? No way is he “sane.”
• I got nothing else. Been one long ass week and it’s only now just Wednesday. Oh, go see Little Miss Sunshine. It’s funny but bizarre.
In the past three seasons Oswalt earned roughly $20 million. What kind of retirement did his parents need?
• Am I the only one who saw the reports about Tropical Storm Ernesto and thought it sounded an awful lot like a typical thunderstorm in the KC area?
• Know some football fans? Go to heybuttercup.com and have some fun with them. Good times brought to you by the boys, and probably girls, at Deutsch LA.
• The fall television season is fast approaching us, here are a few shows I’m looking forward to; Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, Scrubs, House, Two and a Half Men and Entourage. When does season four start?!
• So John Marc Karr didn’t kill JonBenet, what kind of odds did Vegas have on that? If he goes to prison, he’s as good as dead. But if anyone is capable of pulling off an insane defense, it has to be him. Let’s see, you confessed to a murder and rape you didn’t commit, you got a serious problem with kids and you want to be a woman? No way is he “sane.”
• I got nothing else. Been one long ass week and it’s only now just Wednesday. Oh, go see Little Miss Sunshine. It’s funny but bizarre.
August 28, 2006
Entourage
What am I going to spend my entire week looking forward to now?! Last night was the season finale of Entourage and I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. Someone with a rather powerful kick too. I, for one, officially hate cliff hanger endings. Actually, I hate all endings. This is ironic because, I hate a good thing being dragged on too long even more. Something made even more ironic by the fact that I will drag a good joke on longer then anyone I know, and in the process take something from being funny to being annoying. Anyway, I’ve already lost my point.
Which might be the point after all, I don’t know. I’m at a complete loss today. This reminds me of how I felt as a kid when I had to move away from friends. I knew I’d see them again but, that didn’t make it suck any less. And that best describes how I feel today. I know I’ll see E, Ari and everyone else again. But it won’t be next week, so the routine is broken for now. Have I told you how much I dislike change?
There will be new shows, even a few new ones I’m very much looking forward to. But, it won’t be the same as my Sunday nights in Olathe watching Entourage with some friends on their gianormis television. Entourage is one of those shows that is better when watched with friends. Shows like that are few and far between. In my years of watching television, I’ve had plenty of shows I considered must-see TV. But, the ones that were the best were the ones I had to watch with friends. And if we didn’t get to see them together, there were phone calls or emails either that night or the following day.
Enough of the sappy crap okay? Let’s get on to speculating about what the future holds for the fellas. I read an interesting idea on the Entourage board on IMDB, to have Billy Walsh direct the Joey Ramone bio-pic. I happen to think that’s a pretty good idea. And, if Ari could orchestrate it, I’m pretty sure it would get Vince back. Get Dana on board as a producer as well, and Ari could make that right. They only lost THAT script. They could easily hire someone to write a new script.
What is buggin’ me the most right now, is the fact that on IMDB.com there are three other episodes listed for season three. I’m not sure if they were pushed back into season four, or if they are coming back when the final Sopranos episodes air. One would think I could find some answers on the internet but, no such luck.
Which might be the point after all, I don’t know. I’m at a complete loss today. This reminds me of how I felt as a kid when I had to move away from friends. I knew I’d see them again but, that didn’t make it suck any less. And that best describes how I feel today. I know I’ll see E, Ari and everyone else again. But it won’t be next week, so the routine is broken for now. Have I told you how much I dislike change?
There will be new shows, even a few new ones I’m very much looking forward to. But, it won’t be the same as my Sunday nights in Olathe watching Entourage with some friends on their gianormis television. Entourage is one of those shows that is better when watched with friends. Shows like that are few and far between. In my years of watching television, I’ve had plenty of shows I considered must-see TV. But, the ones that were the best were the ones I had to watch with friends. And if we didn’t get to see them together, there were phone calls or emails either that night or the following day.
Enough of the sappy crap okay? Let’s get on to speculating about what the future holds for the fellas. I read an interesting idea on the Entourage board on IMDB, to have Billy Walsh direct the Joey Ramone bio-pic. I happen to think that’s a pretty good idea. And, if Ari could orchestrate it, I’m pretty sure it would get Vince back. Get Dana on board as a producer as well, and Ari could make that right. They only lost THAT script. They could easily hire someone to write a new script.
What is buggin’ me the most right now, is the fact that on IMDB.com there are three other episodes listed for season three. I’m not sure if they were pushed back into season four, or if they are coming back when the final Sopranos episodes air. One would think I could find some answers on the internet but, no such luck.
August 25, 2006
Open Letter to a Mayor
The Mayor of New Orleans, Ray Nagin, seems to have a serious problem with foot-in-mouth disease. He had the whole “Chocolate City” mishap and now he has out done himself. During a 60 Minutes interview he actually said “"You guys in New York can't get a hole in the ground fixed, and it's five years later. So let's be fair."
Are you serious? This is how you’re going to get some support? Calling Ground Zero a “hole in the ground”? Does he actually want to get into a pissing contest because his city had more deaths or more damage? If so, can we also point out they had some thing New York did not have; ample warning. There’s been much debate about rebuilding the World Trade Center yet, as far as I can tell, there’s been little debate about rebuilding New Orleans. And with all due respect to the residents and the family members of those that lost their lives, rebuilding New Orleans is a dumb move. It’s really that simple.
Developing a major city below sea-level was a mistake from the beginning. Now add to the fact these two factors; it’s next to a pretty massive river and it also happens to be at risk of hurricanes. So logically speaking, you can’t seriously think it’s smart. I hear it’s a great city, and I don’t doubt that. And I’m pretty sure closing a city and basically relocating it is pretty much unheard of but, drastic times call for drastic measures. I imagine I’m not the only person with access to the Weather Channel or Discovery Channel, and they seem to think these horrendous hurricanes could be a problem for a while. It’s simple, rebuilding New Orleans isn’t just a bad idea it is down right irresponsible.
Nagin wants it rebuilt for his own ego. He wants to be the guy who stood up for his people, and by I mean African-Americans living in New Orleans. It’s true, they’ve been screwed over. The rich areas were more of a priority and that’s flat out wrong. But rebuilding just so he can be a hero will end up leading to more deaths. Maybe not this year, maybe net even this decade. But unless they find a way to raise the city, redirect hurricanes and keep the Mississippi from flooding. Well, for lack of a better term, they are sunk.
Oh and Mr. Nagin, for your statement about Ground Zero. Go *&^# yourself.
Are you serious? This is how you’re going to get some support? Calling Ground Zero a “hole in the ground”? Does he actually want to get into a pissing contest because his city had more deaths or more damage? If so, can we also point out they had some thing New York did not have; ample warning. There’s been much debate about rebuilding the World Trade Center yet, as far as I can tell, there’s been little debate about rebuilding New Orleans. And with all due respect to the residents and the family members of those that lost their lives, rebuilding New Orleans is a dumb move. It’s really that simple.
Developing a major city below sea-level was a mistake from the beginning. Now add to the fact these two factors; it’s next to a pretty massive river and it also happens to be at risk of hurricanes. So logically speaking, you can’t seriously think it’s smart. I hear it’s a great city, and I don’t doubt that. And I’m pretty sure closing a city and basically relocating it is pretty much unheard of but, drastic times call for drastic measures. I imagine I’m not the only person with access to the Weather Channel or Discovery Channel, and they seem to think these horrendous hurricanes could be a problem for a while. It’s simple, rebuilding New Orleans isn’t just a bad idea it is down right irresponsible.
Nagin wants it rebuilt for his own ego. He wants to be the guy who stood up for his people, and by I mean African-Americans living in New Orleans. It’s true, they’ve been screwed over. The rich areas were more of a priority and that’s flat out wrong. But rebuilding just so he can be a hero will end up leading to more deaths. Maybe not this year, maybe net even this decade. But unless they find a way to raise the city, redirect hurricanes and keep the Mississippi from flooding. Well, for lack of a better term, they are sunk.
Oh and Mr. Nagin, for your statement about Ground Zero. Go *&^# yourself.
August 24, 2006
Parents of The Year Nomination
Now here is a little story that isn’t meant to embarrass anyone but, I think it’s really cool. I won’t be using any names, so I apologize if that makes it some what confusing. Anyway, let’s get on with the story. I have a couple that I’m friends with, and they have a son. This year their son is playing football for the first time, and the entire family is totally stoked about it. That’s right, I said totally stoked.
Pretty typical story thus far, right? Well, here’s the thing. My buddy has never been in to professional sports. If you want to know about kayaking, rock climbing, under water basket weaving, video games or running well then he’s your guy. NFL, NBA or Major League Baseball just are not his thing. So, I give him a lot of credit for having the guts to ask me to help get him up to speed.
You know, it’s really cool when a kid takes on an interest that his or her parents have. Could be that dads’ alma-mater becomes his favorite college, or begins to love poker because mom does. That’s all very cool. But, it’s even cooler when a parent gets involved in something they never really cared for, just because their child cares about it.
So I give my friend all the credit in the world. Asking another guy for help is really never easy. We see almost everything as a chance to make fun of each other, with almost nothing being off limits. And I can’t imagine how awkward it has been for him to have other fathers try talking sports at practice, or feel as if he can’t contribute any advice to his son about his play. That is how you man up.
My mom used to always keep an eye on what my beloved Mets were doing, so she could bring it up in the morning while making my breakfast. I always thought that was really cool. Not that she learned enough to have much of a conversation about them, but the fact that she took any interest at all was always impressive to me.
Now the same friends told me how I need to meet their sons’ teacher. I believe the term “rockin’ body” was used as was “23 years old.” Needless to say, I’m all for meeting. The reason I’m writing about it now is, this reminded me of one of my favorite stories about my first niece.
We were at my nephews school play, he was in 3rd grade I believe, with my niece in 4th. I see my niece talking to her teacher who is for starters cute, and secondly she looks really familiar. Not just because I wanted her to, she actually did. She really had one of those faces I knew from somewhere but I couldn’t place it. So, I ask my niece her teacher’s name. Again, it’s familiar but too common to place. I think we went to high school together so I tell my niece this, and she runs off and asks her teacher where she went to school. All this during the play mind you. The munchkin comes back and confirms it, we indeed went to high school together.
After the play ended, for which my nephew should win a Tony and really there’s never been a better alligator in the history of the theatre, I make my way over to the former classmate now educator to say hi. We do the typical hi how are you, yadda yadda yadda. And then my sweet little niece chimes in with, “will you go out with my uncle?”
I’m not sure who turned a brighter red but, I like to think it was her. We both just laughed it off, as plenty of parents looked on. I told my niece a few minutes later that she would be in big trouble, if only it hadn’t been so funny. And that’s when I knew I couldn’t be a parent. That would be my rule. You aren’t in trouble if I laugh. Oh, you played a prank on the principal and got suspended okay, but did the prank itself make me laugh? It did, and so you can go out Friday.
Pretty typical story thus far, right? Well, here’s the thing. My buddy has never been in to professional sports. If you want to know about kayaking, rock climbing, under water basket weaving, video games or running well then he’s your guy. NFL, NBA or Major League Baseball just are not his thing. So, I give him a lot of credit for having the guts to ask me to help get him up to speed.
You know, it’s really cool when a kid takes on an interest that his or her parents have. Could be that dads’ alma-mater becomes his favorite college, or begins to love poker because mom does. That’s all very cool. But, it’s even cooler when a parent gets involved in something they never really cared for, just because their child cares about it.
So I give my friend all the credit in the world. Asking another guy for help is really never easy. We see almost everything as a chance to make fun of each other, with almost nothing being off limits. And I can’t imagine how awkward it has been for him to have other fathers try talking sports at practice, or feel as if he can’t contribute any advice to his son about his play. That is how you man up.
My mom used to always keep an eye on what my beloved Mets were doing, so she could bring it up in the morning while making my breakfast. I always thought that was really cool. Not that she learned enough to have much of a conversation about them, but the fact that she took any interest at all was always impressive to me.
Now the same friends told me how I need to meet their sons’ teacher. I believe the term “rockin’ body” was used as was “23 years old.” Needless to say, I’m all for meeting. The reason I’m writing about it now is, this reminded me of one of my favorite stories about my first niece.
We were at my nephews school play, he was in 3rd grade I believe, with my niece in 4th. I see my niece talking to her teacher who is for starters cute, and secondly she looks really familiar. Not just because I wanted her to, she actually did. She really had one of those faces I knew from somewhere but I couldn’t place it. So, I ask my niece her teacher’s name. Again, it’s familiar but too common to place. I think we went to high school together so I tell my niece this, and she runs off and asks her teacher where she went to school. All this during the play mind you. The munchkin comes back and confirms it, we indeed went to high school together.
After the play ended, for which my nephew should win a Tony and really there’s never been a better alligator in the history of the theatre, I make my way over to the former classmate now educator to say hi. We do the typical hi how are you, yadda yadda yadda. And then my sweet little niece chimes in with, “will you go out with my uncle?”
I’m not sure who turned a brighter red but, I like to think it was her. We both just laughed it off, as plenty of parents looked on. I told my niece a few minutes later that she would be in big trouble, if only it hadn’t been so funny. And that’s when I knew I couldn’t be a parent. That would be my rule. You aren’t in trouble if I laugh. Oh, you played a prank on the principal and got suspended okay, but did the prank itself make me laugh? It did, and so you can go out Friday.
August 23, 2006
Need a New Jay Oh Bee
Going back to school or not, I’m looking for a new gig here in Kansas City. So, can I just say job hunting sucks? What, you want to hear more? Well okay then. First it’s hard enough to find something I’d actually be interested in doing. Then there’s the fact that I have to realistic so I can’t apply for any VP positions. Now, I know what I don’t want. Rather not process anything, oh hell I think I already used that Cusak quote in a previous post.
But really, I’m not even sure what I want to do. I thought I’d enjoy this job, just sitting at a computer all day, occasionally checking my email and listening to my IPod all day. And it has some perks but, I’m bored to tears. The fact that it doesn’t seem to lead to anything isn’t helping. Oh, did I mention that I’m a contractor? This is important because if I don’t get hired on by Sprint, and if I did I couldn’t be promoted for a year, they won’t renew my contract. I won’t go into how stupid that is on their part but, that means I have till the first week of January. Plenty of time you’re saying. Oh, I might be a little obsessive compulsive sometimes so, the whole theory of time doesn’t always pertain to me.
The irony of this job and its lack of a future is, that’s a big reason why the idea of going back to school is so appealing. If I am able to find something I like, or something tolerable that pays me enough, I could very easily get over the school idea. The more “adult” decisions I’m faced with, the more I wish I was eight again.
Speaking of being a kid again, I recently was talking some trash with a couple cousins. Imagine that, its easy if you try. And at some point I brought up an old Shogun action figure he gave me when I was two, and I guess I had hit a nerve with something else I said so he asked for it back. Kidding of course, well I think so anyway. But I’ve now found it on Ebay and I’m in the process of bidding and winning, so that I can give it to his son. Not to brag or anything but, I’m a pro with the whole gift giving thing. And I’m mighty impressed with myself on this one. Really, I’m not bragging. Ignore the fact that is a website where I write about whatever I feel like and hope people read it. There’s no ego in that. Seriously.
But really, I’m not even sure what I want to do. I thought I’d enjoy this job, just sitting at a computer all day, occasionally checking my email and listening to my IPod all day. And it has some perks but, I’m bored to tears. The fact that it doesn’t seem to lead to anything isn’t helping. Oh, did I mention that I’m a contractor? This is important because if I don’t get hired on by Sprint, and if I did I couldn’t be promoted for a year, they won’t renew my contract. I won’t go into how stupid that is on their part but, that means I have till the first week of January. Plenty of time you’re saying. Oh, I might be a little obsessive compulsive sometimes so, the whole theory of time doesn’t always pertain to me.
The irony of this job and its lack of a future is, that’s a big reason why the idea of going back to school is so appealing. If I am able to find something I like, or something tolerable that pays me enough, I could very easily get over the school idea. The more “adult” decisions I’m faced with, the more I wish I was eight again.
Speaking of being a kid again, I recently was talking some trash with a couple cousins. Imagine that, its easy if you try. And at some point I brought up an old Shogun action figure he gave me when I was two, and I guess I had hit a nerve with something else I said so he asked for it back. Kidding of course, well I think so anyway. But I’ve now found it on Ebay and I’m in the process of bidding and winning, so that I can give it to his son. Not to brag or anything but, I’m a pro with the whole gift giving thing. And I’m mighty impressed with myself on this one. Really, I’m not bragging. Ignore the fact that is a website where I write about whatever I feel like and hope people read it. There’s no ego in that. Seriously.
August 22, 2006
G-Hirp on K-Fed
There was once a day where America’s Nightmare was Ice Cube and NWA, man how I long for those days. Today the nightmare is friggin K-Fed. That’s right, the idiot husband of the idiot pop queen, Britney Spears. The guy had his big showcase at the Teen Choice Awards and I can’t decide which the bigger mistake was. Well, not counting the original mistake that is K-Fed.
Was it trying to make his big splash in the world of hip hop at the Teen Choice Awards? That in itself is pretty stupid. Makes sense if you want to capture the white 12-14 year old market but, that isn’t really gangsta now is it? Or was it dropping F bombs and all sorts of other colorful words in a room full of young kids? Who else would think any of those are good ideas? Even Eminem would change his lyrics up for that crowd.
And let this be the first, and last post I ever write about the one called K-Fed but, since I already started let’s try and figure this guy out. Mainly why do we hate him so much? Aside from the obvious that he’s a complete moron. I think it’s because we all realize, that wow, we all actually had a shot with Britney. I mean, she’s picked such a loser, that John Mark Karr is shaking his head. Yet at the same time K-Fed, ended up with the richest piece of trailer trash on the planet. We can’t actually envy the guy. Okay, he’s rich and set for life. She’s been hot before, might be hot again. No, I can’t envy him. Mainly we hate him because we know who he is. And we hate that we know.
Was it trying to make his big splash in the world of hip hop at the Teen Choice Awards? That in itself is pretty stupid. Makes sense if you want to capture the white 12-14 year old market but, that isn’t really gangsta now is it? Or was it dropping F bombs and all sorts of other colorful words in a room full of young kids? Who else would think any of those are good ideas? Even Eminem would change his lyrics up for that crowd.
And let this be the first, and last post I ever write about the one called K-Fed but, since I already started let’s try and figure this guy out. Mainly why do we hate him so much? Aside from the obvious that he’s a complete moron. I think it’s because we all realize, that wow, we all actually had a shot with Britney. I mean, she’s picked such a loser, that John Mark Karr is shaking his head. Yet at the same time K-Fed, ended up with the richest piece of trailer trash on the planet. We can’t actually envy the guy. Okay, he’s rich and set for life. She’s been hot before, might be hot again. No, I can’t envy him. Mainly we hate him because we know who he is. And we hate that we know.
August 21, 2006
Should I Stay or Should I Go
I fear change. I know this doesn’t make me unique, most people don’t like change or even fear it. I talked/talk of moving to Chicago; get all excited about the prospects even. I day dream, and I hop online looking for work and apartments. In my head I run so many different scenarios that I make our President appear ill-prepared, okay bad example. I’ll even tell friends of my conundrum, and in most cases I’ll post something about. Trying to ignore the fact that I know deep down I most likely won’t pull the trigger.
Well, Chicago is still a thought but now there’s a new conundrum upon me. One that makes sense on so many levels yet is scary on even more. With the little following I’ve developed with my corner of the web, I’ve also seen my confidence in my writing rise. Then a friend suggested a career as a copywriter, and it’s been an idea I haven’t been able to shake. I’ve always taken great interest in advertising, thanks in large part to my cousin Eric and observing his career. I can’t think of many fields that are more exciting but, at the same time I never really thought it was for me. It always seemed to be more for the type-A personalities. So, I mention to my cousin that I saw an opening at a local agency for an entry level position and ask for some advice. Eric tells me that it isn’t so much my lack of a degree that will prevent me from getting the gig but, my lack of a portfolio. All hope isn’t lost, he tells me of these programs around the country where one can go and get an associates in specific areas. I, of course, begin surfing the net immediately. That’s when I see this:
“You can’t draw. The last film you developed was the one in your tub. The only designs you ever come up with are evil. And you can’t even lay out your clothes. But you’re a master of irony. A wizard of wit. A warrior with words. A book-reading, story-making, note-passing, joke-telling, encyclopedia of useless trivia and crazy ideas. You’re gonna be a great copywriter.”
Well I’ll be damned. I just read a near perfect description of myself, minus the fact I can lay out my clothes, and I don’t read all that many books. But now I see a career for myself. Something I think I could really enjoy doing and that would lead me to a city like Chicago. Seems like an easy decision right? Well, that’s when we get back to my first statement. I fear change. And this would require picking up and moving, not being able to work full-time, encoring huge debt and facing that other great fear of mine. A little thing called the fear of failure. Then a line from Tin Cup keeps echoing in my head, “a defining moment comes, and either you define the moment or the moment defines you.”
I know what I should do, and I know what I want to do. Sadly I’m afraid I know what I will do. But you know the game you play, if I won the lottery? That game, everyone plays that game. Well, now when I play this is one of the things I know I’d do. And I don’t have to win the lottery to do it. Just gotta pull the trigger.
Well, Chicago is still a thought but now there’s a new conundrum upon me. One that makes sense on so many levels yet is scary on even more. With the little following I’ve developed with my corner of the web, I’ve also seen my confidence in my writing rise. Then a friend suggested a career as a copywriter, and it’s been an idea I haven’t been able to shake. I’ve always taken great interest in advertising, thanks in large part to my cousin Eric and observing his career. I can’t think of many fields that are more exciting but, at the same time I never really thought it was for me. It always seemed to be more for the type-A personalities. So, I mention to my cousin that I saw an opening at a local agency for an entry level position and ask for some advice. Eric tells me that it isn’t so much my lack of a degree that will prevent me from getting the gig but, my lack of a portfolio. All hope isn’t lost, he tells me of these programs around the country where one can go and get an associates in specific areas. I, of course, begin surfing the net immediately. That’s when I see this:
“You can’t draw. The last film you developed was the one in your tub. The only designs you ever come up with are evil. And you can’t even lay out your clothes. But you’re a master of irony. A wizard of wit. A warrior with words. A book-reading, story-making, note-passing, joke-telling, encyclopedia of useless trivia and crazy ideas. You’re gonna be a great copywriter.”
Well I’ll be damned. I just read a near perfect description of myself, minus the fact I can lay out my clothes, and I don’t read all that many books. But now I see a career for myself. Something I think I could really enjoy doing and that would lead me to a city like Chicago. Seems like an easy decision right? Well, that’s when we get back to my first statement. I fear change. And this would require picking up and moving, not being able to work full-time, encoring huge debt and facing that other great fear of mine. A little thing called the fear of failure. Then a line from Tin Cup keeps echoing in my head, “a defining moment comes, and either you define the moment or the moment defines you.”
I know what I should do, and I know what I want to do. Sadly I’m afraid I know what I will do. But you know the game you play, if I won the lottery? That game, everyone plays that game. Well, now when I play this is one of the things I know I’d do. And I don’t have to win the lottery to do it. Just gotta pull the trigger.
August 18, 2006
Random Hirpizms
• Recently Haley Joel Osment, that’s right the kid from The Sixth Sense, was in a car accident. He is now facing charges for driving drunk and possession of the pot. My sources tell me he has since blamed dead people for all the wars in the world. Only to later apologize and ask for the chance to sit down and talk to dead people (again) to put them at ease. I only hope I was the first one to make this joke.
• A video YOU have to see. http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/40420/ It’s Denis Leary in the booth at a recent Red Sox game, and he really goes off on Mel Gibson. I don’t think he can win an Emmy for this, or an Oscar. So how about we give the guy a Nobel Prize. There has to be some kind of reward for this. Maybe we’ll give him Israel, or his own Monica Lewinsky.
• So this guy that confessed to killing JonBenet didn’t do it. I heard that he claimed to have drugged her, yet there were no drugs in her system, and made some other claims that aren’t accurate. I still think he should be locked up, I mean you have to be a sick twisted soul to kill someone. But to confess you did when you didn’t? I think that’s the act of an even sicker person. Instead I bet he gets a book deal.
• No doubt in my mind the Mets are the best team in the NL. Problem is we don’t have the pitching. And without Pedro, the Mets will get win only one game in the World Series. More sports stuff, the Giants blanked the Chiefs last night. Take that Kansas City.
• A follow-up regarding on the on going debates I’m involved in on IMDB.com. One woman is upset that American’s aren’t allowed to bring a Bible with them if they go to an Arab country. My question is what would you need it for? Is it you can’t pray without it, or that you can’t preach without it? And really, how can we be upset by their laws? Last I checked it isn’t our land. Well, not yet anyway.
• Snakes On A Plane comes out today, who isn’t excited about this? If you haven’t already done it you need to go to snakesonaplane.com and have Samuel L Jackson call all of your friends. It’s hysterical.
And this is just great: Shea Stadium. It's like being there. Might not be the nicest stadium in baseball but, it's still my favorite. Sorry Wrigley.
• A video YOU have to see. http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/40420/ It’s Denis Leary in the booth at a recent Red Sox game, and he really goes off on Mel Gibson. I don’t think he can win an Emmy for this, or an Oscar. So how about we give the guy a Nobel Prize. There has to be some kind of reward for this. Maybe we’ll give him Israel, or his own Monica Lewinsky.
• So this guy that confessed to killing JonBenet didn’t do it. I heard that he claimed to have drugged her, yet there were no drugs in her system, and made some other claims that aren’t accurate. I still think he should be locked up, I mean you have to be a sick twisted soul to kill someone. But to confess you did when you didn’t? I think that’s the act of an even sicker person. Instead I bet he gets a book deal.
• No doubt in my mind the Mets are the best team in the NL. Problem is we don’t have the pitching. And without Pedro, the Mets will get win only one game in the World Series. More sports stuff, the Giants blanked the Chiefs last night. Take that Kansas City.
• A follow-up regarding on the on going debates I’m involved in on IMDB.com. One woman is upset that American’s aren’t allowed to bring a Bible with them if they go to an Arab country. My question is what would you need it for? Is it you can’t pray without it, or that you can’t preach without it? And really, how can we be upset by their laws? Last I checked it isn’t our land. Well, not yet anyway.
• Snakes On A Plane comes out today, who isn’t excited about this? If you haven’t already done it you need to go to snakesonaplane.com and have Samuel L Jackson call all of your friends. It’s hysterical.
And this is just great: Shea Stadium. It's like being there. Might not be the nicest stadium in baseball but, it's still my favorite. Sorry Wrigley.
August 17, 2006
Murder, Poker and Mini-vans
Finally a suspect in the JonBenet Ramsey murder has been named. Ten years is all it’s taken huh? This must make the mother of that Holloway girl that vanished in Aruba feel a lot better now that there’s been an arrest in the JonBenet Ramsey murder. Actually, wow, this just hit me. Didn’t Holloway look a bit like she could be JonBenet all growns up? Never mind that the math does not add up, it’s all part of a conspiracy. Hmm. Also, I hear that OJ wants to question the guy they have in custody. And we all doubted that he was still looking for the real killer.
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The conversation at poker night sure has changed; I’m not exactly sure when exactly it took place. Originally it was crude, rude and pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a room full of degenerate gamblers even if they were all white collar guys. Then I think we took a few weeks off and everyone had kids. Not just one, two maybe even three kids. Instead of overhearing a review of some ones porn collection, there were stories of diapers and first words. Really it’s totally cool yet, also a total shock to me at the same time. This past week there was talk about minivans and how convenient they really are. Now this isn’t just because I have an uncle who was a car designer for many years but, I drove a Nissan Qwest about six years ago and I swear it’s a nice ride. I mean I was a little annoyed that was the car they gave me to drive around San Diego in, I’m pretty sure it was a mean trick, but right then I knew it was the right car for any family. I have friends that swear they’ll never drive one, doesn’t matter if they have more kids then Shawn Kemp. But they’re lying to themselves, or they’re just stupid. First off all, you have kids. The time of being hip and cool in your life has passed. You can still be a cool mom or dad but, all that really means you don’t dress like a mom or dad and you spoil your kids. But don’t be a fool, get the minivan.
That’s not even the point here. This is actually for the wives. That think poker night is a great escape, where the guys are out being guys. No, they are bragging about their kids or worried about their daughter who happens to have an accident that rips out a few teeth. They swap stories about teething, birthday parties and not getting any sleep. Talk about joint family vacations and how much their wives put up with. Half of these stories and conversations make the idea of having a family of my own sound great. While the other half are the worlds best birth control. Really, you want to scare your kids out of having their own, make them hang out with little kids misbehaving. I don’t mean baby sit, parents don’t get paid and you won’t scare them if you reward them. Just have them spend two hours with a couple three year olds who have gone completely Tom Cruise and gone way off the reservation. It’s more effective then any health video. I’m in my late 20’s and I’m great with kids but, I’ve seen them turn into little devils and it’s not at all cute. Seriously, I mean a real mini-Lucifer.
Oh don’t worry it’s not all Brokeback Hold ‘em, there’s still farting, beer and all sorts of homo-phobic jokes made. And let’s not forget the 487 jokes made at my expense. I’m not even kidding. I am however, probably in deep shit for letting these secrets out. First I take their money, now I’ve broken man law. But it’s up to them to share this with their wives or not, so we’ll see what they do.
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The conversation at poker night sure has changed; I’m not exactly sure when exactly it took place. Originally it was crude, rude and pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a room full of degenerate gamblers even if they were all white collar guys. Then I think we took a few weeks off and everyone had kids. Not just one, two maybe even three kids. Instead of overhearing a review of some ones porn collection, there were stories of diapers and first words. Really it’s totally cool yet, also a total shock to me at the same time. This past week there was talk about minivans and how convenient they really are. Now this isn’t just because I have an uncle who was a car designer for many years but, I drove a Nissan Qwest about six years ago and I swear it’s a nice ride. I mean I was a little annoyed that was the car they gave me to drive around San Diego in, I’m pretty sure it was a mean trick, but right then I knew it was the right car for any family. I have friends that swear they’ll never drive one, doesn’t matter if they have more kids then Shawn Kemp. But they’re lying to themselves, or they’re just stupid. First off all, you have kids. The time of being hip and cool in your life has passed. You can still be a cool mom or dad but, all that really means you don’t dress like a mom or dad and you spoil your kids. But don’t be a fool, get the minivan.
That’s not even the point here. This is actually for the wives. That think poker night is a great escape, where the guys are out being guys. No, they are bragging about their kids or worried about their daughter who happens to have an accident that rips out a few teeth. They swap stories about teething, birthday parties and not getting any sleep. Talk about joint family vacations and how much their wives put up with. Half of these stories and conversations make the idea of having a family of my own sound great. While the other half are the worlds best birth control. Really, you want to scare your kids out of having their own, make them hang out with little kids misbehaving. I don’t mean baby sit, parents don’t get paid and you won’t scare them if you reward them. Just have them spend two hours with a couple three year olds who have gone completely Tom Cruise and gone way off the reservation. It’s more effective then any health video. I’m in my late 20’s and I’m great with kids but, I’ve seen them turn into little devils and it’s not at all cute. Seriously, I mean a real mini-Lucifer.
Oh don’t worry it’s not all Brokeback Hold ‘em, there’s still farting, beer and all sorts of homo-phobic jokes made. And let’s not forget the 487 jokes made at my expense. I’m not even kidding. I am however, probably in deep shit for letting these secrets out. First I take their money, now I’ve broken man law. But it’s up to them to share this with their wives or not, so we’ll see what they do.
August 16, 2006
No Chirp
Last night was poker night. Sunday is the day I look to forward on a weekly basis but, every third Tuesday is what I count down to every month, for it is Poker Night. See, I’m in this genius league, a fantasy league set up some what like a fantasy sports league/real poker league. We have a monthly tournament, in which points are given for where you place as well as some cash. And at the end of the year, the top 8 in points get to play in a Championship Game. The winner gets a nice sum of cash, a beautiful trophy their wives will never allow to on public display, and shit talked on them for a year. It’s the Bad Beats crew.
So last night was our game for the month, and I went there in bad shape. In 17th place out of 21 with only four events left. It was time to get some points or face a second year in a row without an appearance at the Championship. And in all honesty, I’ve played pretty well this year. I’ve earned, and deservingly so, a reputation for having mini-meltdowns. Basically, there was always one or two hands I’d totally over play and screw myself. This year I haven’t really done that. After each tourney I felt I played well, just either got out played or didn’t get the right cards. Last night I got off to a decent start. For the first 45 minutes or so I was pretty quiet. Finally I began to pick up a few hands, nothing big though, but I started getting a stack. I’m not sure when or how but that stack grew to what was probably the second biggest stack. And then it happened. Porqchop beautifully played a hand, while I was totally bluffing at a hand I had no right being in. He slow played, and nearly earned an Oscar for his Heath Ledger like performance, quads that he got on the flop. I thought I was done for.
This was followed up soon after by another stupid call, this time against a guy we have given the endearing nicknames of Bradasow and Devil Down, in which I doubled him up. But since I had such a good size stack at this time, it didn’t cripple me. Soon we were down to the final eight and I was still in good position. Now I’m starting to think about that if I don’t get stupid, I can actually take some money home. And just a few bucks and some nice points is all I’m thinking about. A little cash for Vegas, and maybe a chance to play at the big kids table at the end. And well, as much as I believe poker isn’t true gambling that it is indeed at the very least somewhat a skill game I also know you aren’t winning a tournament without some form of luck. And I got lucky. I thought the one called Bradasow was bluffing, and since I had a decent (at best) hand with plenty of outs, I called a raise. The river came giving me a nut straight, and he went all in, I called and some how my nemesis was beaten. That took the field down to five, and I was in fantastic shape. I don’t recall the rest of the hands only I took out James, a participant in the 2006 World Series of Poker, in a hand where my pocket jacks went up against his ace-jack. I also got lucky with knocking out the third place finisher, I was in a blind and had to call his all-in with an two over cards and a gut shot straight draw. Hit the straight on the river and it was down to two.
Fred and I have played in some free games at a local bar, as well as many lunch games at my place when I had week days off. Normally he scares the hell out of me, he insists he only plays premium hands but it’s complete bull. I had him out chipped like 4:1, he made a raise pre-flop which I called. I hit top pair with a king kicker, and he had a flush draw so he went all-in. I called and my pair hit, making me the winner for the night. Did I play well? I think so. Did I get lucky? No question. Maybe it was karma, maybe it was the fact that I nearly didn’t even play since my niece and nephew got into town last night. And if they had a flight that came in before 10:30 I probably wouldn’t have played, so I probably have to spend some of the money on them.
One other highlight was aRoyal Flush I’ve which is the second seen in person, that’s just too cool.
So last night was our game for the month, and I went there in bad shape. In 17th place out of 21 with only four events left. It was time to get some points or face a second year in a row without an appearance at the Championship. And in all honesty, I’ve played pretty well this year. I’ve earned, and deservingly so, a reputation for having mini-meltdowns. Basically, there was always one or two hands I’d totally over play and screw myself. This year I haven’t really done that. After each tourney I felt I played well, just either got out played or didn’t get the right cards. Last night I got off to a decent start. For the first 45 minutes or so I was pretty quiet. Finally I began to pick up a few hands, nothing big though, but I started getting a stack. I’m not sure when or how but that stack grew to what was probably the second biggest stack. And then it happened. Porqchop beautifully played a hand, while I was totally bluffing at a hand I had no right being in. He slow played, and nearly earned an Oscar for his Heath Ledger like performance, quads that he got on the flop. I thought I was done for.
This was followed up soon after by another stupid call, this time against a guy we have given the endearing nicknames of Bradasow and Devil Down, in which I doubled him up. But since I had such a good size stack at this time, it didn’t cripple me. Soon we were down to the final eight and I was still in good position. Now I’m starting to think about that if I don’t get stupid, I can actually take some money home. And just a few bucks and some nice points is all I’m thinking about. A little cash for Vegas, and maybe a chance to play at the big kids table at the end. And well, as much as I believe poker isn’t true gambling that it is indeed at the very least somewhat a skill game I also know you aren’t winning a tournament without some form of luck. And I got lucky. I thought the one called Bradasow was bluffing, and since I had a decent (at best) hand with plenty of outs, I called a raise. The river came giving me a nut straight, and he went all in, I called and some how my nemesis was beaten. That took the field down to five, and I was in fantastic shape. I don’t recall the rest of the hands only I took out James, a participant in the 2006 World Series of Poker, in a hand where my pocket jacks went up against his ace-jack. I also got lucky with knocking out the third place finisher, I was in a blind and had to call his all-in with an two over cards and a gut shot straight draw. Hit the straight on the river and it was down to two.
Fred and I have played in some free games at a local bar, as well as many lunch games at my place when I had week days off. Normally he scares the hell out of me, he insists he only plays premium hands but it’s complete bull. I had him out chipped like 4:1, he made a raise pre-flop which I called. I hit top pair with a king kicker, and he had a flush draw so he went all-in. I called and my pair hit, making me the winner for the night. Did I play well? I think so. Did I get lucky? No question. Maybe it was karma, maybe it was the fact that I nearly didn’t even play since my niece and nephew got into town last night. And if they had a flight that came in before 10:30 I probably wouldn’t have played, so I probably have to spend some of the money on them.
One other highlight was aRoyal Flush I’ve which is the second seen in person, that’s just too cool.
August 15, 2006
"Fixed the glitch"
There was a glitch with the comments feature, and well, we fixed the glitch. So you do not have to register to leave comments.
And there's also a guestbook in the links section, more then welcome to leave a note there.
And there's also a guestbook in the links section, more then welcome to leave a note there.
Hirpline News
Watching the news has never really been a pleasant experience and of late it’s become almost terrifying. And it seems like that’s their goal now. It’s been going this direction for a while now but it’s to a point now that responsible reporting is making sure you’re reporters are wearing a flack jacket as they point out their location on a map. Admittedly these are scary times, and it appears as if everyday we’re that much closer to World War III, so it’s not as if the media is making it up. Well, not all of it anyway. What they are doing is, adding flames to the fire.
The other day I was watching one of the news channels, I don’t recall which one it was, and they had two guests on this show totally contradicting each other. Which is fine but, they never even had them respond to each other or even talk directly to each other. One guest was saying how easy it is to bring down a plane, that it wouldn’t take much of an explosion. As the other guest, a former pilot explained how hard it is. That they need to get lucky and place a bomb in one of about five locations, surprisingly he didn’t pull out a blueprint and explain himself further. And did the host take a second to point out the fact that these two were so far off? No, why bother. The goal isn’t to inform, it’s to scary the holy hell out of us.
They seem more interested in having a better tag line then doing something that might resemble journalism. Every guest they have has an angle, either a new book to sell or an axe to grind or maybe a future campaign to kick start. So far this is what I’ve learned; we’re going to get hit by another horrible terrorist attack most likely worse then 9/11 only we don’t know any details, the Middle East is more then a little volatile, no one likes America, and we’ve got really great bombs. Oh and it’s all George Bush’s fault, except for the parts we blame Bill Clinton for. Meanwhile they pretty much ignore the biggest story, just the small fact that of the 24 alleged terrorists that were nabbed last week, none have any direct ties to Iraq.
Tell ya what, I’m going to be your news now. This just in:
• The President of Iran is on 60 Minutes getting better press then Bush has ever gotten (and I’m not even sure if this bothers me) and he’s buying a billion dollars worth of weapons from Russia, working with China and North Korea with the goal of bringing down the US. I’ll tell you this much, he has a much better foreign policy then Bush. Three allies, Bush must be jealous.
• A group of Egyptian students disappeared before making it to Montana, the FBI wants to find them but it’s no big deal. They aren’t criminals but, their visas are no longer good. We can’t show you what they look like, because well, you already know what Middle Eastern college students look like. And we just hope they don’t start taking the bus. That never goes well.
• Fidel Castro is near death, but he’s taking pictures holding a newspaper so he’s okay now. But for a second, we really thought he was going to croak.
• Israel is at war, it’s getting pretty messy. No one in the Middle East seems to like those people. Did you hear what Mel Gibson said yet?
• Oh, we allegedly just stopped a really big terrorist attack. It’s only after an actual attack that we’ll start talking conspiracy theory. It’s not as if anyone could have had anything to gain by claiming a huge attack was stopped. See we’re so cynical here at Hirp News, that we almost need someone caught after lighting the fuse to believe it to be true.
• We have reason to believe most baseball players are on steroids but, we only want to see Barry Bonds go to jail. And no other professional athletes are taking anything other then vitamins.
• Mel Gibson said some horrible things, was driving drunk, and we know his father’s an anti-Semite. But Patrick Swayze said it can’t be true, so we totally have no clue what to think. Did we mention he made over $300 million himself with Passion of the Christ?
Coming up after the break, the end of the world is months away, and great deals for that last minute summer vacation.
The other day I was watching one of the news channels, I don’t recall which one it was, and they had two guests on this show totally contradicting each other. Which is fine but, they never even had them respond to each other or even talk directly to each other. One guest was saying how easy it is to bring down a plane, that it wouldn’t take much of an explosion. As the other guest, a former pilot explained how hard it is. That they need to get lucky and place a bomb in one of about five locations, surprisingly he didn’t pull out a blueprint and explain himself further. And did the host take a second to point out the fact that these two were so far off? No, why bother. The goal isn’t to inform, it’s to scary the holy hell out of us.
They seem more interested in having a better tag line then doing something that might resemble journalism. Every guest they have has an angle, either a new book to sell or an axe to grind or maybe a future campaign to kick start. So far this is what I’ve learned; we’re going to get hit by another horrible terrorist attack most likely worse then 9/11 only we don’t know any details, the Middle East is more then a little volatile, no one likes America, and we’ve got really great bombs. Oh and it’s all George Bush’s fault, except for the parts we blame Bill Clinton for. Meanwhile they pretty much ignore the biggest story, just the small fact that of the 24 alleged terrorists that were nabbed last week, none have any direct ties to Iraq.
Tell ya what, I’m going to be your news now. This just in:
• The President of Iran is on 60 Minutes getting better press then Bush has ever gotten (and I’m not even sure if this bothers me) and he’s buying a billion dollars worth of weapons from Russia, working with China and North Korea with the goal of bringing down the US. I’ll tell you this much, he has a much better foreign policy then Bush. Three allies, Bush must be jealous.
• A group of Egyptian students disappeared before making it to Montana, the FBI wants to find them but it’s no big deal. They aren’t criminals but, their visas are no longer good. We can’t show you what they look like, because well, you already know what Middle Eastern college students look like. And we just hope they don’t start taking the bus. That never goes well.
• Fidel Castro is near death, but he’s taking pictures holding a newspaper so he’s okay now. But for a second, we really thought he was going to croak.
• Israel is at war, it’s getting pretty messy. No one in the Middle East seems to like those people. Did you hear what Mel Gibson said yet?
• Oh, we allegedly just stopped a really big terrorist attack. It’s only after an actual attack that we’ll start talking conspiracy theory. It’s not as if anyone could have had anything to gain by claiming a huge attack was stopped. See we’re so cynical here at Hirp News, that we almost need someone caught after lighting the fuse to believe it to be true.
• We have reason to believe most baseball players are on steroids but, we only want to see Barry Bonds go to jail. And no other professional athletes are taking anything other then vitamins.
• Mel Gibson said some horrible things, was driving drunk, and we know his father’s an anti-Semite. But Patrick Swayze said it can’t be true, so we totally have no clue what to think. Did we mention he made over $300 million himself with Passion of the Christ?
Coming up after the break, the end of the world is months away, and great deals for that last minute summer vacation.
August 14, 2006
Yo Man, It's the Formula
This summer I’ve found two new shows worth watching, Saved and Psych, and I suggest you set check them out. This isn’t going to be an entry where I review them though. See, I’ve noticed some similarities between the two, and it seems to be the new formula for television shows. Where as a few years back everything seemed to try and copy Friends, you had a group of good looking white kids who seemed to have life styles we all wanted. They had interesting jobs, or crappy jobs that paid well enough to support pricey apartments. They never had trouble getting dates, and always had a cool place to hang out.
And I’m not entirely sure where this change happened but, now I can count four shows that I watch that fit this new formula, which goes like this:
1CWG + 1RBGx IC= TV show
(1 charming white guy + 1 responsible black guy x an interesting career)
It’s close to the ol’ reliable buddy cop formula Hollywood has used since the 80’s. With Saved, you have a paramedic who comes from a well to do family. Only he’s a bit of disappointment since he didn’t want to become an actual doctor, and he has a bit of a gambling problem. Still, nothing seems to faze him. He’ll bond with the sick girl, or risk his life to save a trapped woman or face his bookie without worrying about his own well being. Meanwhile at work he drives around in an ambulance with his black partner, who is busting his tale to be a decent father and takes everything seriously. They’re breaking stereotypes damnit.
In Psych, we have yet another son who has let his father down. This time Dads a cop and tried for years to train his son to have a photographic memory, which he does. But instead of using it for good, he’s used it to skate through life. Basically he’s Ferris Bueller on constant vacation. Then he trips into a gig as a psychic for the local police. Always able to figure out what happened before the police. Oh, and he has a partner. A reluctant one, if anything, who also happens to be black. Who has a steady job, is a bit anal and just thinks that police work should be left to the inept cops.
Shows from the fall season that seem to also fit this formula are House (although Omar Epps isn’t EXACTLY House’s partner) And Scrubs. What’s interesting me is that they have yet to try this formula (that I know of) with female leads. Or maybe that’s a show on WE. What I propose is taking this, mixing it with the formula that makes Entourage so great and some how made every women in the world watch Sex in the City, sprinkle in a few parts of whatever JJ Abrams does and you’ll have the biggest show in the history of the world. It might even be Tivo-able.
And I’m not entirely sure where this change happened but, now I can count four shows that I watch that fit this new formula, which goes like this:
1CWG + 1RBGx IC= TV show
(1 charming white guy + 1 responsible black guy x an interesting career)
It’s close to the ol’ reliable buddy cop formula Hollywood has used since the 80’s. With Saved, you have a paramedic who comes from a well to do family. Only he’s a bit of disappointment since he didn’t want to become an actual doctor, and he has a bit of a gambling problem. Still, nothing seems to faze him. He’ll bond with the sick girl, or risk his life to save a trapped woman or face his bookie without worrying about his own well being. Meanwhile at work he drives around in an ambulance with his black partner, who is busting his tale to be a decent father and takes everything seriously. They’re breaking stereotypes damnit.
In Psych, we have yet another son who has let his father down. This time Dads a cop and tried for years to train his son to have a photographic memory, which he does. But instead of using it for good, he’s used it to skate through life. Basically he’s Ferris Bueller on constant vacation. Then he trips into a gig as a psychic for the local police. Always able to figure out what happened before the police. Oh, and he has a partner. A reluctant one, if anything, who also happens to be black. Who has a steady job, is a bit anal and just thinks that police work should be left to the inept cops.
Shows from the fall season that seem to also fit this formula are House (although Omar Epps isn’t EXACTLY House’s partner) And Scrubs. What’s interesting me is that they have yet to try this formula (that I know of) with female leads. Or maybe that’s a show on WE. What I propose is taking this, mixing it with the formula that makes Entourage so great and some how made every women in the world watch Sex in the City, sprinkle in a few parts of whatever JJ Abrams does and you’ll have the biggest show in the history of the world. It might even be Tivo-able.
Coming Up Short
“You can all sell out if you want to homie, but I’m gonna stay short and funky,” rapped Too Short back in 1990. The song quickly became one of my theme songs, and is to this day, for pretty obvious reasons. For those who haven’t met me, I’m a bit short; I stand at 5’5”.Okay, 5’5ish. And my height has without question played a big role in making me who I am today.
I won’t lie and say there haven’t been times I wished I was a little bit taller, or wished I was a baler or even that I had a girl in the hood and I would call her. (From the song “I Wish” by a rapper Skee Lo in 1995) No, there were definitely times I viewed my lack of height as a huge negative. Mainly as a kid, when I knew I’d be one of the last picked and from an early age I knew the long odds against me to play center for the Knicks. So sure, it bothered me. And even now, there are times I would prefer to be a few inches taller.
But being short isn’t without its own perks. I’m not one of those guys walking around with a Napoleon complex. Well, maybe a little but, I don’t meet the definition down to a “t.” There’s been a time or two I talked a little tougher to compensate. I might be just a tad bit argumentative and somewhat of a last word freak. I swear it’s just cause I am always right, why shouldn’t I have the last word? But for the most part, it’s been a positive for me. It’s given me a lot of my personality. My quick wit came about as a necessity. It was either hear the short jokes and take them, or find something about those average people to strike back at. And for the record, short jokes have never bothered me. Only the bad short jokes. So my sense of humor is a direct result of my height. Also I can laugh at myself, and if I make the short joke first it disarms people.
Let me quickly tell you some of the pluses to being short. For starters, women never see my eyes look down to check them out. It’s all eye level. If a store is having a sale, there’s always a better chance they’ll have my size. If I do get in a fight, I’m supposed to lose, which means I have less to lose. Trust me, you’d look a lot more foolish losing to a short guy then he’d look losing to you. Everyone wants to give you a nickname. And the strange bond short people have with each other. It’s an easy ice breaker, and a common bond. What do you average people have? You can’t tease each other about how average you are. Well, if you do it sure as hell won’t be funny. I think it’s part of why I get along so well with kids, we see eye to eye. In a world where they feel everything and everyone towers over them, I do not. It might help that I haven’t matured much since 5th grade, maybe just a tad.
There was a case recently where a girl I liked shot me down, and the reasons given weren’t height related. Later though in one of these MySpace surveys (which are E-Crack for the record) she listed the first two things she notices about a guy as height and his voice. So, sure there are still times that it’s a pain in the ass. And I understand why women want, not just a guy that’s taller then them, but a tall guy in general. I know they just want to be able to wear all their shoes without it being an issue. More then that though, it’s a safety thing. If a guys tall, well he obviously can protect them. They just don’t understand a short guy won’t allow them to get into a situation where their safety is jeopardized. See, the view from here is different and you learn to see what’s around the corner. And would even want to read a blog entry about someone being of average height? Short and funky is much more interesting.
I won’t lie and say there haven’t been times I wished I was a little bit taller, or wished I was a baler or even that I had a girl in the hood and I would call her. (From the song “I Wish” by a rapper Skee Lo in 1995) No, there were definitely times I viewed my lack of height as a huge negative. Mainly as a kid, when I knew I’d be one of the last picked and from an early age I knew the long odds against me to play center for the Knicks. So sure, it bothered me. And even now, there are times I would prefer to be a few inches taller.
But being short isn’t without its own perks. I’m not one of those guys walking around with a Napoleon complex. Well, maybe a little but, I don’t meet the definition down to a “t.” There’s been a time or two I talked a little tougher to compensate. I might be just a tad bit argumentative and somewhat of a last word freak. I swear it’s just cause I am always right, why shouldn’t I have the last word? But for the most part, it’s been a positive for me. It’s given me a lot of my personality. My quick wit came about as a necessity. It was either hear the short jokes and take them, or find something about those average people to strike back at. And for the record, short jokes have never bothered me. Only the bad short jokes. So my sense of humor is a direct result of my height. Also I can laugh at myself, and if I make the short joke first it disarms people.
Let me quickly tell you some of the pluses to being short. For starters, women never see my eyes look down to check them out. It’s all eye level. If a store is having a sale, there’s always a better chance they’ll have my size. If I do get in a fight, I’m supposed to lose, which means I have less to lose. Trust me, you’d look a lot more foolish losing to a short guy then he’d look losing to you. Everyone wants to give you a nickname. And the strange bond short people have with each other. It’s an easy ice breaker, and a common bond. What do you average people have? You can’t tease each other about how average you are. Well, if you do it sure as hell won’t be funny. I think it’s part of why I get along so well with kids, we see eye to eye. In a world where they feel everything and everyone towers over them, I do not. It might help that I haven’t matured much since 5th grade, maybe just a tad.
There was a case recently where a girl I liked shot me down, and the reasons given weren’t height related. Later though in one of these MySpace surveys (which are E-Crack for the record) she listed the first two things she notices about a guy as height and his voice. So, sure there are still times that it’s a pain in the ass. And I understand why women want, not just a guy that’s taller then them, but a tall guy in general. I know they just want to be able to wear all their shoes without it being an issue. More then that though, it’s a safety thing. If a guys tall, well he obviously can protect them. They just don’t understand a short guy won’t allow them to get into a situation where their safety is jeopardized. See, the view from here is different and you learn to see what’s around the corner. And would even want to read a blog entry about someone being of average height? Short and funky is much more interesting.
August 11, 2006
God Stuff
After seeing World Trade Center, I made my way over to the message boards at the great IMDB.com, just to see what other movie goers were saying. First of all, message boards get annoying real quick. What could be a fun and interesting way to exchange thoughts turns into a headache when the idiots start posting crap just to get a rise out of everyone. Unfortunately that board is no longer about the movie, instead its conspiracies and racism. If I wanted that, I’d watch Fox News.
Nevertheless, one thread on there did make me stop and think. And that’s lead to a new post. I know, I know, you’re so excited you can barely hide it. Probably emailed all your friends or you’re waiting to print this out to take to the john. I do what I can to entertain. ANYWAY. There was a post asking why some of the Muslims in England put their religion before their country. This question didn’t sit right with me. I mean, how many Americans are there that consider themselves Christian first, or Jewish? This isn’t a phenomenon just for Muslims; it’s a problem (one of many) with organized religion. Every single one of them.
I understand the thinking that their relationship with their God and being right with him when they die is of some importance. This makes perfect sense. But to think that this God, wants you put him/her before your neighbors is what I don’t get. I’m no scholar, I haven’t read the bible, and if I were to own one I’d probably use it to kill spiders. But I think I have a decent understanding for the concept of God, even if I don’t believe, and my take is this; treat each other well. That really seems to be the theme, to me anyway. And if you do that, you should be okay when you meet your maker. To think God wants anything else, well I think that’s actually having a pretty low opinion of the big fella. And why would you want to worry about pleasing someone you think is so egocentric that you are supposed to put him (or her) before everything else? You would tell your friend to dump someone that thought that but, it’s okay for God to be like that?
Another thing, calling these terrorists Muslims is ridiculous. I can claim to be six foot, doesn’t make it so. Like I said, if there’s a God the one thing we’re supposed to do is treat each other well. Strapping a bomb to your back, or launching a missile probably doesn’t qualify. So if you’re going to, then fine do it. Just be honest about why you’re doing it. Right now we have two sides who both think they are doing Gods work
Nevertheless, one thread on there did make me stop and think. And that’s lead to a new post. I know, I know, you’re so excited you can barely hide it. Probably emailed all your friends or you’re waiting to print this out to take to the john. I do what I can to entertain. ANYWAY. There was a post asking why some of the Muslims in England put their religion before their country. This question didn’t sit right with me. I mean, how many Americans are there that consider themselves Christian first, or Jewish? This isn’t a phenomenon just for Muslims; it’s a problem (one of many) with organized religion. Every single one of them.
I understand the thinking that their relationship with their God and being right with him when they die is of some importance. This makes perfect sense. But to think that this God, wants you put him/her before your neighbors is what I don’t get. I’m no scholar, I haven’t read the bible, and if I were to own one I’d probably use it to kill spiders. But I think I have a decent understanding for the concept of God, even if I don’t believe, and my take is this; treat each other well. That really seems to be the theme, to me anyway. And if you do that, you should be okay when you meet your maker. To think God wants anything else, well I think that’s actually having a pretty low opinion of the big fella. And why would you want to worry about pleasing someone you think is so egocentric that you are supposed to put him (or her) before everything else? You would tell your friend to dump someone that thought that but, it’s okay for God to be like that?
Another thing, calling these terrorists Muslims is ridiculous. I can claim to be six foot, doesn’t make it so. Like I said, if there’s a God the one thing we’re supposed to do is treat each other well. Strapping a bomb to your back, or launching a missile probably doesn’t qualify. So if you’re going to, then fine do it. Just be honest about why you’re doing it. Right now we have two sides who both think they are doing Gods work
August 10, 2006
Movie Review: World Trade Center
I literally just walked in the door from seeing the new Oliver Stone movie, World Trade Center. Maybe I’d be better off giving it a night to soak in before writing a review but, since when has anything on here followed logic? Moving forward. I am far from an Oliver Stone fan, I haven’t really been impressed with anything he’s done since Wall Street. Sure JFK was well done and interesting but, it was also too preachy and too slanted. So when I heard he of all people was directing a movie about 9-11, I was learly at best. To his credit, he checked any opinions at the door and just told the story, of not so much the most horrific day in American history, but of courage and hope.
Let’s start from the beginning. The first three or so minutes we see New York City, and it was absolutely beautiful. Such great photography that the smell of popcorn was replaced with that of pretzels and exhaust. Man I miss those scents. And I give Stone a lot of credit for not showing the towers being hit. The shadow of a low flying plane against a building was much more haunting.
Most of the performances were solid to very good with Maggie Gyllenhall stepping her game up a notch. If she isn’t nominated for an Oscar I’ll be shocked. Nic Cage and Michael Pena deserve a lot of credit as well, most of their screen time is in the dark or literally the depths of hell. Being that they were both trapped under debris all we really have is their eyes and how they deliver the dialog. Far from easy, not that I’d know, but I’d imagine it’s pretty hard so lay off.
Of course it has a few areas that could have been stronger. At times it was a bit cheesy, mainly when either the trapped officers or their wives go into flashbacks. I understand there’s this love and sweet memories of their lives together. But jumping into a flashback is more what I’d expect from a made for television movie trying to tug at some strings. Personally, I believe it would have been more powerful to just watch the characters as they are remembering and how powerful the memories are. Have a little more faith in your actors.
Now as for the question, is it too soon? No, definitely not. I’m sure of this for one simple fact, if these people were ready to tell their story we should be ready to hear it. We owe it to them, and to ourselves. We haven’t forgotten how horrible it was, that’s easy to remember. We did, however, forget how it changed us. You hear Cage in the preview telling us how that day people, “were kind to each other for other reason then it was the right thing to do.” It wasn’t that way just in Manhattan. If you were driving down the highway and someone cut you off, you let it slide. Standing in line behind someone who fumbled through her pocketbook trying to locate her checkbook, didn’t fill you with resentment. Everyone wanted to know what they could do to help. Foods, clothes, money, donate blood or enlist. That’s what we forgot, and that’s what we needed to be reminded of. There’s a line in World Trade Center, that sadly they said while quoting GI Jane, “Pain is your friend, it lets you know you’re not dead.” So, watching this might hurt at times but that’s not a bad thing.
I wouldn’t give it the full HIRP stamp of approval but, a solid HIR.
Let’s start from the beginning. The first three or so minutes we see New York City, and it was absolutely beautiful. Such great photography that the smell of popcorn was replaced with that of pretzels and exhaust. Man I miss those scents. And I give Stone a lot of credit for not showing the towers being hit. The shadow of a low flying plane against a building was much more haunting.
Most of the performances were solid to very good with Maggie Gyllenhall stepping her game up a notch. If she isn’t nominated for an Oscar I’ll be shocked. Nic Cage and Michael Pena deserve a lot of credit as well, most of their screen time is in the dark or literally the depths of hell. Being that they were both trapped under debris all we really have is their eyes and how they deliver the dialog. Far from easy, not that I’d know, but I’d imagine it’s pretty hard so lay off.
Of course it has a few areas that could have been stronger. At times it was a bit cheesy, mainly when either the trapped officers or their wives go into flashbacks. I understand there’s this love and sweet memories of their lives together. But jumping into a flashback is more what I’d expect from a made for television movie trying to tug at some strings. Personally, I believe it would have been more powerful to just watch the characters as they are remembering and how powerful the memories are. Have a little more faith in your actors.
Now as for the question, is it too soon? No, definitely not. I’m sure of this for one simple fact, if these people were ready to tell their story we should be ready to hear it. We owe it to them, and to ourselves. We haven’t forgotten how horrible it was, that’s easy to remember. We did, however, forget how it changed us. You hear Cage in the preview telling us how that day people, “were kind to each other for other reason then it was the right thing to do.” It wasn’t that way just in Manhattan. If you were driving down the highway and someone cut you off, you let it slide. Standing in line behind someone who fumbled through her pocketbook trying to locate her checkbook, didn’t fill you with resentment. Everyone wanted to know what they could do to help. Foods, clothes, money, donate blood or enlist. That’s what we forgot, and that’s what we needed to be reminded of. There’s a line in World Trade Center, that sadly they said while quoting GI Jane, “Pain is your friend, it lets you know you’re not dead.” So, watching this might hurt at times but that’s not a bad thing.
I wouldn’t give it the full HIRP stamp of approval but, a solid HIR.
August 09, 2006
Wal-mart: Sofa King We Todd Did
I’ve never been a Wal-Mart shopper. I mean there have been a few occasions that I ran in to pick up something, or get some DVDs cheap. It isn’t that I’m a snob and above shopping there, although I admit I like some brand name stuff they simply do not carry, it’s just not a good shopping experience. Long lines, bad customer service, dirty stores and fact you are guaranteed to see some lady in a moomoo shopping with her NASCAR apparel wearing kids. That isn’t easy on the eyes.
But Wal-Mart is a huge company, so they do something right. They must, right? Let’s see, it is affordable. That’s a plus. And um, well to be honest that is it. But they know this, and market themselves that way. They don’t try and tell us it’s hip to shop there. Just that it’s smart. I must say all the credit should go to their ad agencies. Ah but I see a future, and it’s a great one. I see a future without Wal-Mart, moomoos or Dale Jr hats. Seems Wal-Mart has decided to go a different direction with its advertising agency. I see it going one of two ways; they try to be hip and cool or basically they try to be Target. Or they dumb it down so much; they end up mocking and alienating their customer base. I can see a little Sam Walton cartoon character, speaking all redneck to America, embarrassing their customers. Or some smart and savvy ads that suddenly make it look like another Target, and if you want Target you just go there. The end is near.
And this is great news for America. Sure it’ll be a hit the economy. We’ll rebound from that. It will be great because, we have the Wal-Mart of Presidents in W, and another like him can’t survive in a Wal-Mart free society. We shop at Wal-Mart because the ads make it sound like such a good idea, that it’s just like you and me. We voted this idiot in with the same mentality. Now we can go back to dreaming big and chasing down the American dream. They had a nice run but, they just sunk their own ship.
But Wal-Mart is a huge company, so they do something right. They must, right? Let’s see, it is affordable. That’s a plus. And um, well to be honest that is it. But they know this, and market themselves that way. They don’t try and tell us it’s hip to shop there. Just that it’s smart. I must say all the credit should go to their ad agencies. Ah but I see a future, and it’s a great one. I see a future without Wal-Mart, moomoos or Dale Jr hats. Seems Wal-Mart has decided to go a different direction with its advertising agency. I see it going one of two ways; they try to be hip and cool or basically they try to be Target. Or they dumb it down so much; they end up mocking and alienating their customer base. I can see a little Sam Walton cartoon character, speaking all redneck to America, embarrassing their customers. Or some smart and savvy ads that suddenly make it look like another Target, and if you want Target you just go there. The end is near.
And this is great news for America. Sure it’ll be a hit the economy. We’ll rebound from that. It will be great because, we have the Wal-Mart of Presidents in W, and another like him can’t survive in a Wal-Mart free society. We shop at Wal-Mart because the ads make it sound like such a good idea, that it’s just like you and me. We voted this idiot in with the same mentality. Now we can go back to dreaming big and chasing down the American dream. They had a nice run but, they just sunk their own ship.
Jersey-n-Girls
Hit the K last night for a Royals game, and I made some observations as well as being reminded of something I had wanted to write a post about for some time now. First, we’ll tackle the new observation. This is something I don’t understand, people who go to a baseball game wearing a jersey of a team that IS NOT playing at said game. I saw so many jerseys of other teams last night, it made my head spin. Well, the beer might have done that. Either way my head spun. But can someone make sense of this for me? I mean, I’m there and I could pretty much care less about who wins, neither team is my favorite team. Are these guys trying to make a statement about their loyalty? Then cheer accordingly. Oh, you’re on the Yankees bandwagon, well then just cheer against the Royals. Or just wear your Yankee hat, this I can live with. I’ll wear my Met hat to just about anything, a Royals game or a KU basketball game. There’s a big difference between an adult wearing a hat or a jersey. For starters, unless you’re Turtle, you aren’t wearing a jersey on any random day. Many of us will wear a hat for no reason at all. I own a Met jersey but, now that I’m *ahem* in my late 20’s I don’t think I need to rock a jersey.
Before I go on, there was one complete moron that I need to address here. Understand Kansas City in August, it was about 100 degrees yesterday and 90 at the time of the first pitch. And there was this kid wearing this leather Boston Red Sox jacket. Re-read that real quickly. That’s right, a friggin leather jacket in Kansas City. This has nothing to do with the fact he was wearing a sports team jacket, which in itself is pretty ridiculous. The fact that it was leather is ridiculous. Even funnier to me, is under it he wore a wife beater so I guess he thought he MIGHT be warm.
Now I went to the game with some people from work, including two very attractive women. Understand, normally when I go out be it with just female friends or friends and their wives, that I hang out with some pretty attractive broads (Frank, I’m trying to bring back broads and dames) that’s just how I roll. So I’ve noticed this many times before. But, it is half hilarious and half pathetic to watch guys react to a pretty girl. Heads whip around, guys nudge each other, do the head point, cough to get each others attention or even stare without even trying to hide it. And what’s so funny to me about it is the fact that my friends and I are probably JUST like that. It’s a bit embarrassing when I realize this. Luckily I forget that when I’m in the situation. I mean fellas; really we must get better at this. I think we’ve all gotten really good at not getting caught by the women themselves that is even easy by now. What also strikes me as humorous about this is the reaction I have to them. The uncle in me comes out, and I want to tell them to keep their eyes above neck level. One day I’ll have to post about how funny it is when girls I’m just hanging out with get hit on in front of me.
Before I go on, there was one complete moron that I need to address here. Understand Kansas City in August, it was about 100 degrees yesterday and 90 at the time of the first pitch. And there was this kid wearing this leather Boston Red Sox jacket. Re-read that real quickly. That’s right, a friggin leather jacket in Kansas City. This has nothing to do with the fact he was wearing a sports team jacket, which in itself is pretty ridiculous. The fact that it was leather is ridiculous. Even funnier to me, is under it he wore a wife beater so I guess he thought he MIGHT be warm.
Now I went to the game with some people from work, including two very attractive women. Understand, normally when I go out be it with just female friends or friends and their wives, that I hang out with some pretty attractive broads (Frank, I’m trying to bring back broads and dames) that’s just how I roll. So I’ve noticed this many times before. But, it is half hilarious and half pathetic to watch guys react to a pretty girl. Heads whip around, guys nudge each other, do the head point, cough to get each others attention or even stare without even trying to hide it. And what’s so funny to me about it is the fact that my friends and I are probably JUST like that. It’s a bit embarrassing when I realize this. Luckily I forget that when I’m in the situation. I mean fellas; really we must get better at this. I think we’ve all gotten really good at not getting caught by the women themselves that is even easy by now. What also strikes me as humorous about this is the reaction I have to them. The uncle in me comes out, and I want to tell them to keep their eyes above neck level. One day I’ll have to post about how funny it is when girls I’m just hanging out with get hit on in front of me.
August 08, 2006
Selling Out
Alright, the first post since moving into the new digs, and I think it’s going to be a good one boys and girls. Last night I had a conversation with someone about what is and what is not “selling out.” And as expected, they had some very strong feelings on the subject as most people do. See, recently I’ve gotten to know a few Taylor Hicks fans and it’s a loyal bunch which you know I respect. For the record, this isn’t anti-Hicks or even an anti-Idol post. I’ll save the latter for another time. But it’s of great importance that you know the truth (who the conversation was with) and understand a little about the famed Soul Patrol (it’s actually not a cult.)
I made the point that any artist would do just about anything for the right amount of money; essentially that everyone has a price. I firmly believe this to be true, and not just for artists. This loyal soul was adamant that dear Taylor would never ever sell out. I went as far as to say that for the right amount of zeros he would even record something like a Britney Spears cover. No way, now how she said. He’s a man of integrity and won’t ever do something like this. Well, for starters covering a Spears song wouldn’t be selling out, a bad career move perhaps but not the move of a “sell-out.” See, its common practice for an artist to do something for a pay day thus allowing them to do something more personal.
See Entourage for example, and don’t tell me it’s a television show, with Vince doing Aquaman. Obviously not the movie his heart and soul is into, but the big pay day allows him to still do a movie like Queens Boulevard. I used the famed Mel Gibson as an example as well. I’m fairly certain he didn’t believe What Women Want was great cinema. Yet, he took the bigger pay day of that and many other movies and pooled that money together to make Passion. He funded it out of his pocket so he could do it his way. It’s just smart business. Selling out would have been letting Michael Bay direct it, and changing his vision for the movie. Like setting it in Miami, with Jesus doing lines of coke off a hooker’s chest.
Selling out is not just something artists are faced with. It’s a line we all walk. Man (or woman) takes a job that pays a salary. This salary will help them provide a certain life style for them and their family. This is not selling out. Now, taking a job and putting that job ahead of your family. That, now that would be selling out.
Back to Taylor Hicks and that conversation. When the fan told me he would never ever sell out, I asked about that Ford commercial. She insisted he only did it because of his contract. Um, that’s a compromise right there. I believe he read the contract, or at least I hope he did, and knew wow I gotta do this horrible commercial. But it’ll give me a nice pay check, and then he signed. So, right there the man “compromised” his integrity. It wasn’t selling out. Now if Sir Paul McCartney actually had the rights to the Beatles music and he licensed “Revolution” for a friggin Nike commercial, that WOULD be selling out. Taking something you’ve done for one reason, and using it for another is selling out. Sadly, Michael Jackson owns the rights and he sold the Beatles out.
Fans toss around the term much easily. A few years back Jewel, every ones favorite folk singer, did what looked to be a bubble gum pop record. Right away, many branded her a “sell-out.” Shook up her image a little, and changed her sound up so automatically she had sold her soul. No one took the time to understand she was making a commentary about pop music and actually mocking the system. She might never recover completely from that. To an artist, or anyone, it’s almost like being called a rapist. Doesn’t even matter if the charges are true, they seem to stick no matter what the truth is.
I made the point that any artist would do just about anything for the right amount of money; essentially that everyone has a price. I firmly believe this to be true, and not just for artists. This loyal soul was adamant that dear Taylor would never ever sell out. I went as far as to say that for the right amount of zeros he would even record something like a Britney Spears cover. No way, now how she said. He’s a man of integrity and won’t ever do something like this. Well, for starters covering a Spears song wouldn’t be selling out, a bad career move perhaps but not the move of a “sell-out.” See, its common practice for an artist to do something for a pay day thus allowing them to do something more personal.
See Entourage for example, and don’t tell me it’s a television show, with Vince doing Aquaman. Obviously not the movie his heart and soul is into, but the big pay day allows him to still do a movie like Queens Boulevard. I used the famed Mel Gibson as an example as well. I’m fairly certain he didn’t believe What Women Want was great cinema. Yet, he took the bigger pay day of that and many other movies and pooled that money together to make Passion. He funded it out of his pocket so he could do it his way. It’s just smart business. Selling out would have been letting Michael Bay direct it, and changing his vision for the movie. Like setting it in Miami, with Jesus doing lines of coke off a hooker’s chest.
Selling out is not just something artists are faced with. It’s a line we all walk. Man (or woman) takes a job that pays a salary. This salary will help them provide a certain life style for them and their family. This is not selling out. Now, taking a job and putting that job ahead of your family. That, now that would be selling out.
Back to Taylor Hicks and that conversation. When the fan told me he would never ever sell out, I asked about that Ford commercial. She insisted he only did it because of his contract. Um, that’s a compromise right there. I believe he read the contract, or at least I hope he did, and knew wow I gotta do this horrible commercial. But it’ll give me a nice pay check, and then he signed. So, right there the man “compromised” his integrity. It wasn’t selling out. Now if Sir Paul McCartney actually had the rights to the Beatles music and he licensed “Revolution” for a friggin Nike commercial, that WOULD be selling out. Taking something you’ve done for one reason, and using it for another is selling out. Sadly, Michael Jackson owns the rights and he sold the Beatles out.
Fans toss around the term much easily. A few years back Jewel, every ones favorite folk singer, did what looked to be a bubble gum pop record. Right away, many branded her a “sell-out.” Shook up her image a little, and changed her sound up so automatically she had sold her soul. No one took the time to understand she was making a commentary about pop music and actually mocking the system. She might never recover completely from that. To an artist, or anyone, it’s almost like being called a rapist. Doesn’t even matter if the charges are true, they seem to stick no matter what the truth is.
August 07, 2006
www.FromTheHirp.com
Allow myself to re-introduce..myself. You may notice a change or two around these here parts. It's all part of our(my)master plan that will soon lead to world domination. Or not so much. See, I wanted Hirp.com cause, well that would just make all kinds of sense, but due to the fact some @$$holes have the rights to the name and won't give it up I was forced to come up with a different name. So, mark your favorite places and tell your friends. FromTheHirp.com is now the place to hear, well me!
-quick thank you to Porqchop for the new poster, as well as all the other posters he's made.
-quick thank you to Porqchop for the new poster, as well as all the other posters he's made.
August 04, 2006
Hirplings
It’s finally Friday, that took longer then expected. I’d love to some day here a logical explanation for why time sometimes feels different. Some days it flies by, some hours drag on for days and I can’t even come close to wrapping my head around why that is. I know this though, today is going to be a long one. See I kinda forgot to take the Ritalin this morning. And it’s totally not my fault, I’m house sitting again and it totally messed up my routine. I’d give you a few more reasons why it’s not my fault but I’ve decided to spin around in my swivel chair for a few minutes.
Okay, I’m back. And a little dizzy. I really don’t have any one topic today, friggin ADD, so we’re gonna go with some completely unrelated thoughts.
*Mark McGwire is on the ballot for the Hall of Fame next year, and I haven’t a clue if I think he should go or not. Biggest reason to vote for him, he never failed a test. He looked like an idiot in Washington DC but who doesn’t? He was a baseball player, not a lawyer. And cheating in baseball, it’s really part of the game. Much like lying is part of being a lawyer. How many guys in the Hall doctored the ball, or used too much pine tar or broke other rules? Cheating is cheating right? Isn’t that why a President was impeached? But you gotta draw a line somewhere right?
*World Trade Center comes out next week. Here’s another case that I have mixed feelings on. I think it’s important for most of the country to see, to remember and understand what happened that day. But, if the widows and family members of people who lost their lives that day are against it, shouldn’t we respect those wishes? Maybe it’s just too soon. No clue but, I’ll have my review on here next Thursday.
*Went and played in a free poker game last night and well, seeing a mullet just makes me happy. All I want to do is sit these guys down and ask them why, for the love of god why. And then I want to thank them.
*I think schools should go back to using good ol’ chalkboards. Talked to a friend that’s a teacher recently, and I don’t care if the dry erase board is cleaner. It doesn’t have the same sound or smell, and a real chalkboard always looked so inviting when it was good and clean. Plus you could always give someone a big white mark on the back of their black shirt with the simple toss of an eraser.
Okay, I’m back. And a little dizzy. I really don’t have any one topic today, friggin ADD, so we’re gonna go with some completely unrelated thoughts.
*Mark McGwire is on the ballot for the Hall of Fame next year, and I haven’t a clue if I think he should go or not. Biggest reason to vote for him, he never failed a test. He looked like an idiot in Washington DC but who doesn’t? He was a baseball player, not a lawyer. And cheating in baseball, it’s really part of the game. Much like lying is part of being a lawyer. How many guys in the Hall doctored the ball, or used too much pine tar or broke other rules? Cheating is cheating right? Isn’t that why a President was impeached? But you gotta draw a line somewhere right?
*World Trade Center comes out next week. Here’s another case that I have mixed feelings on. I think it’s important for most of the country to see, to remember and understand what happened that day. But, if the widows and family members of people who lost their lives that day are against it, shouldn’t we respect those wishes? Maybe it’s just too soon. No clue but, I’ll have my review on here next Thursday.
*Went and played in a free poker game last night and well, seeing a mullet just makes me happy. All I want to do is sit these guys down and ask them why, for the love of god why. And then I want to thank them.
*I think schools should go back to using good ol’ chalkboards. Talked to a friend that’s a teacher recently, and I don’t care if the dry erase board is cleaner. It doesn’t have the same sound or smell, and a real chalkboard always looked so inviting when it was good and clean. Plus you could always give someone a big white mark on the back of their black shirt with the simple toss of an eraser.
August 02, 2006
Shots from the Hirp
So I’ve been watching the news and paying some attention to this whole Castro drama in Cuba. Pretty exciting stuff might be happening. Now I’m not someone who spends tons of time getting into political debates nor is it one of my areas of expertise. (I think I have a few areas though) But one story I keep seeing is the debate on whether or not we should help set up a democracy down there. I say no. I say hell no. Not there, or anywhere else. Not because I don’t believe in democracy by any means. I just don’t really like this treating government or religion like it’s fucking Am-way and we need to convert people to any one way of thinking.
Democracy works for us, pretty well I might add. That doesn’t mean everyone else should get on board. For starters, that kind of thinking is anything BUT democratic. It’s just not for everyone. And who are we to say that it is? Same goes with religion or any idealogy. What helps you and yours, I’m all in favor for. But don’t cheapen it by treating it like it’s another pyrmid scheme. If Cuba is going to be come a democracy after Castro kicks it, then Cubans have to be the ones that make it happen. That goes for Iraq too and anywhere else for that matter.
**********************************
Now I’ve gone on record that I know zero about women. And that probably isn’t 100% accurate. I know nothing about how to get women. And this isn’t bragging here, if you ask my friends I’m fairly certain they’d back me but, I’m pretty confident that I know how to treat ‘em. See, I’ve been talking to a couple dames I know who are having guy troubles. And as different as the situations are, they are eerily similar. Mainly, guys are idiots. I recently realized that everything I know about how to treat them came from one man. One short, bald, Jewish guy from Long Island. No not me you funny bastards. Billy Joel. I shit you not.
Just The Way You Are, You May Be Right, She’s Got A Way, Tell Her About It, And So It Goes, Keeping The Faith, Matter Of Trust, I Go To Extremes, This Is The Time, She’s Always a Woman To Me, Shameless, Leave A Tender Moment Alone. Know these songs, believe everything he tells you in them and it’s really that easy. These songs won’t make you a Casanova or Don Juan, that isn’t the goal but, a decent guy without baby mama drama.
And ladies, there’s just one Liz Phair song you need to know to make a guy happy. Sorry, I can’t tell ya which one.
Democracy works for us, pretty well I might add. That doesn’t mean everyone else should get on board. For starters, that kind of thinking is anything BUT democratic. It’s just not for everyone. And who are we to say that it is? Same goes with religion or any idealogy. What helps you and yours, I’m all in favor for. But don’t cheapen it by treating it like it’s another pyrmid scheme. If Cuba is going to be come a democracy after Castro kicks it, then Cubans have to be the ones that make it happen. That goes for Iraq too and anywhere else for that matter.
**********************************
Now I’ve gone on record that I know zero about women. And that probably isn’t 100% accurate. I know nothing about how to get women. And this isn’t bragging here, if you ask my friends I’m fairly certain they’d back me but, I’m pretty confident that I know how to treat ‘em. See, I’ve been talking to a couple dames I know who are having guy troubles. And as different as the situations are, they are eerily similar. Mainly, guys are idiots. I recently realized that everything I know about how to treat them came from one man. One short, bald, Jewish guy from Long Island. No not me you funny bastards. Billy Joel. I shit you not.
Just The Way You Are, You May Be Right, She’s Got A Way, Tell Her About It, And So It Goes, Keeping The Faith, Matter Of Trust, I Go To Extremes, This Is The Time, She’s Always a Woman To Me, Shameless, Leave A Tender Moment Alone. Know these songs, believe everything he tells you in them and it’s really that easy. These songs won’t make you a Casanova or Don Juan, that isn’t the goal but, a decent guy without baby mama drama.
And ladies, there’s just one Liz Phair song you need to know to make a guy happy. Sorry, I can’t tell ya which one.
August 01, 2006
What Hirp Wants
Mel Gibson, anti-Semite? I don’t know. And at the same time, I’m not even sure if I care. Let’s assume for a second that he is. Does that make him less talented? Do I suddenly no longer enjoy Lethal Weapon or Tequila Sunrise? Other then my opinion of him personally, does it change anything?
Well, yes and no. No, it doesn’t for a second take away the work he’s done. The guy has built a nice resume, hit IMDB and you see a lot of good flicks that we’ve all enjoyed. But, part of that has been built on the image of him being this genuinely good guy. For which we are to blame as much as he is. And if I end up feeling he’s actually anti-Semitic, and really it will be just a feeling be it mine or yours, I sure as hell won’t want to put any more money in his already phat pockets.
One thing I need to make clear. If Mel, or anyone else happens to dislike Jews or any other group of people, I fully support their right to feel that way. And to say it. Now, if you feel it be man (or woman enough) to own that opinion. I honestly think the best way he could handle this is to say, “yeah, I said it and I believe it but I’m open to sitting down and discussing it.” What I don’t want to hear is how his dad raised him that way, his father by the way has gone on record with his belief that the Holocaust was exaggerated. Mel is in his 50’s, worth hundreds of millions of dollars and I know how he was raised by his parents would undoubtly affect his world views, they are still HIS views.
If he actually said , "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," and asked the arresting officer, "Are you a Jew?" He can’t hide behind daddy. Nor are those just the words of a drunk guy making an ass of himself. Most of us have been drunk, and most of us have probably said something we wish we hadn’t while drunk. That’s part of why you get drunk. You don’t say shit you don’t believe, you say the things you’re too scared to say sober. This is why men and women drink then hit on each other, it’s not that they didn’t want to before. It’s liquid balls. My point, if Mel said it he fucking believes it.
I don’t want some well thought out apology, or some PR machine behind him helping him smooth it over. I’d rather he sit down with someone, and honestly tell us what he thinks. Then listen as someone explains where his facts are off. For him to know, and for everyone who thinks like him. Let’s atleast use this as a way to get some facts out there. You know, it’s been a pain in the ass running Hollywood behind the scenes all these years. A good frank conversation would be good for all of us.
Well, yes and no. No, it doesn’t for a second take away the work he’s done. The guy has built a nice resume, hit IMDB and you see a lot of good flicks that we’ve all enjoyed. But, part of that has been built on the image of him being this genuinely good guy. For which we are to blame as much as he is. And if I end up feeling he’s actually anti-Semitic, and really it will be just a feeling be it mine or yours, I sure as hell won’t want to put any more money in his already phat pockets.
One thing I need to make clear. If Mel, or anyone else happens to dislike Jews or any other group of people, I fully support their right to feel that way. And to say it. Now, if you feel it be man (or woman enough) to own that opinion. I honestly think the best way he could handle this is to say, “yeah, I said it and I believe it but I’m open to sitting down and discussing it.” What I don’t want to hear is how his dad raised him that way, his father by the way has gone on record with his belief that the Holocaust was exaggerated. Mel is in his 50’s, worth hundreds of millions of dollars and I know how he was raised by his parents would undoubtly affect his world views, they are still HIS views.
If he actually said , "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," and asked the arresting officer, "Are you a Jew?" He can’t hide behind daddy. Nor are those just the words of a drunk guy making an ass of himself. Most of us have been drunk, and most of us have probably said something we wish we hadn’t while drunk. That’s part of why you get drunk. You don’t say shit you don’t believe, you say the things you’re too scared to say sober. This is why men and women drink then hit on each other, it’s not that they didn’t want to before. It’s liquid balls. My point, if Mel said it he fucking believes it.
I don’t want some well thought out apology, or some PR machine behind him helping him smooth it over. I’d rather he sit down with someone, and honestly tell us what he thinks. Then listen as someone explains where his facts are off. For him to know, and for everyone who thinks like him. Let’s atleast use this as a way to get some facts out there. You know, it’s been a pain in the ass running Hollywood behind the scenes all these years. A good frank conversation would be good for all of us.
Pizza v. Pizza?!
Chicago “pizza” is to pizza what a transvestite is to women. I’ll give you a second to re-read that. No, I mean it. I mean, the ingredients are the same on paper. With the transvestite you have the breastists, you have long hair, nails, estrogen, drama, and the um, well the fact that it’s a vegetarian dish. Just like with Chicago “pizza,” you have cheese (hopefully missing from both the woman and the traney) crust, sauce and is made by a guy whose last name ends in a vowel much like real New York Pizza. But, they are not the same type of food.
Therefore, Chicago “pizza” can’t be as good and sure as hell isn’t better Pizza than New York Pizza because from the get go, it’s not even pizza. See, pizza is almost a fast food dish. A pizzeria might take 10-15 minutes to make you one and that’s not fast food. But, you can stop by a pizzeria, grab a slice with a SODA (not fucking pop) eat it on a piece of wax paper as you stand and watch the pizza man flip the dough in the air and then be gone. Fast. And it’s food. Fast-food. How about Chicago deep dish? No, you have to plan on it taking an entire night. It’s sold in super busy restaurants, that are full of more tourists then citizens.
Let’s also trace the history of both. New York pizza came from Italian immigrants who were just getting into our country, so it’s a direct descendent from Naples. Even it has some differences from the home country but, that’s naturally going to happen when you grow the ingredients in different soil and have different ovens. Check this out, http://www.pizzatherapy.com/historyo.htm.
Chicago “pizza” came along nearly 40 years after the first pizzeria opened in New York. http://www.sliceny.com/archives/
2006/02/a_slice_of_heaven_a_history_of_pizza_in_america.php. And, Chicago has always rightfully felt it was in New Yorks shadow. Second City? Hello, who do you think they think first city is? So, its expected that they’d want to compare their pizza to what is served in NYC. It’s all part of a very natural, very one-sided, rivalry. I enjoy Chicago style, it’s pretty yummy. And I’ve now eaten at most of the well known joints but, not one of them compares to any pizzeria you’d find out east. Be it Long Island, Manhattan or even in Jersey and Connecticut. It’s simply an inferior food. And they only have themselves to blame. Not for trying to change the already perfect meal, no for trying to say they’re the same kind of food. It was big marketing mistake. Change the name, claim it’s the best.
I imagine this is how the English feel about American Football. But, at least we don’t spell it as they spell futball. Both sports have fields, goals, the use of a foot, and crazed face painting fans. Yet no one on either side of the ocean think they are actually the same sport, so there is no confusion with one claiming to have the superior version of the sport. Maybe this makes more sense then transvestites and women? Then again, what doesn’t make more sense then women?
And as now, I can totally see myself living in Chicago more then I can see myself living in New York. I feel this is important for you to know. I’m not anti-Chicago by any means. Great town, and we’re talking about great food here either way you cut it.
Therefore, Chicago “pizza” can’t be as good and sure as hell isn’t better Pizza than New York Pizza because from the get go, it’s not even pizza. See, pizza is almost a fast food dish. A pizzeria might take 10-15 minutes to make you one and that’s not fast food. But, you can stop by a pizzeria, grab a slice with a SODA (not fucking pop) eat it on a piece of wax paper as you stand and watch the pizza man flip the dough in the air and then be gone. Fast. And it’s food. Fast-food. How about Chicago deep dish? No, you have to plan on it taking an entire night. It’s sold in super busy restaurants, that are full of more tourists then citizens.
Let’s also trace the history of both. New York pizza came from Italian immigrants who were just getting into our country, so it’s a direct descendent from Naples. Even it has some differences from the home country but, that’s naturally going to happen when you grow the ingredients in different soil and have different ovens. Check this out, http://www.pizzatherapy.com/historyo.htm.
Chicago “pizza” came along nearly 40 years after the first pizzeria opened in New York. http://www.sliceny.com/archives/
2006/02/a_slice_of_heaven_a_history_of_pizza_in_america.php. And, Chicago has always rightfully felt it was in New Yorks shadow. Second City? Hello, who do you think they think first city is? So, its expected that they’d want to compare their pizza to what is served in NYC. It’s all part of a very natural, very one-sided, rivalry. I enjoy Chicago style, it’s pretty yummy. And I’ve now eaten at most of the well known joints but, not one of them compares to any pizzeria you’d find out east. Be it Long Island, Manhattan or even in Jersey and Connecticut. It’s simply an inferior food. And they only have themselves to blame. Not for trying to change the already perfect meal, no for trying to say they’re the same kind of food. It was big marketing mistake. Change the name, claim it’s the best.
I imagine this is how the English feel about American Football. But, at least we don’t spell it as they spell futball. Both sports have fields, goals, the use of a foot, and crazed face painting fans. Yet no one on either side of the ocean think they are actually the same sport, so there is no confusion with one claiming to have the superior version of the sport. Maybe this makes more sense then transvestites and women? Then again, what doesn’t make more sense then women?
And as now, I can totally see myself living in Chicago more then I can see myself living in New York. I feel this is important for you to know. I’m not anti-Chicago by any means. Great town, and we’re talking about great food here either way you cut it.
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