Pizza v. Pizza?!

Chicago “pizza” is to pizza what a transvestite is to women. I’ll give you a second to re-read that. No, I mean it. I mean, the ingredients are the same on paper. With the transvestite you have the breastists, you have long hair, nails, estrogen, drama, and the um, well the fact that it’s a vegetarian dish. Just like with Chicago “pizza,” you have cheese (hopefully missing from both the woman and the traney) crust, sauce and is made by a guy whose last name ends in a vowel much like real New York Pizza. But, they are not the same type of food.

Therefore, Chicago “pizza” can’t be as good and sure as hell isn’t better Pizza than New York Pizza because from the get go, it’s not even pizza. See, pizza is almost a fast food dish. A pizzeria might take 10-15 minutes to make you one and that’s not fast food. But, you can stop by a pizzeria, grab a slice with a SODA (not fucking pop) eat it on a piece of wax paper as you stand and watch the pizza man flip the dough in the air and then be gone. Fast. And it’s food. Fast-food. How about Chicago deep dish? No, you have to plan on it taking an entire night. It’s sold in super busy restaurants, that are full of more tourists then citizens.

Let’s also trace the history of both. New York pizza came from Italian immigrants who were just getting into our country, so it’s a direct descendent from Naples. Even it has some differences from the home country but, that’s naturally going to happen when you grow the ingredients in different soil and have different ovens. Check this out, http://www.pizzatherapy.com/historyo.htm.

Chicago “pizza” came along nearly 40 years after the first pizzeria opened in New York. http://www.sliceny.com/archives/
2006/02/a_slice_of_heaven_a_history_of_pizza_in_america.php. And, Chicago has always rightfully felt it was in New Yorks shadow. Second City? Hello, who do you think they think first city is? So, its expected that they’d want to compare their pizza to what is served in NYC. It’s all part of a very natural, very one-sided, rivalry. I enjoy Chicago style, it’s pretty yummy. And I’ve now eaten at most of the well known joints but, not one of them compares to any pizzeria you’d find out east. Be it Long Island, Manhattan or even in Jersey and Connecticut. It’s simply an inferior food. And they only have themselves to blame. Not for trying to change the already perfect meal, no for trying to say they’re the same kind of food. It was big marketing mistake. Change the name, claim it’s the best.

I imagine this is how the English feel about American Football. But, at least we don’t spell it as they spell futball. Both sports have fields, goals, the use of a foot, and crazed face painting fans. Yet no one on either side of the ocean think they are actually the same sport, so there is no confusion with one claiming to have the superior version of the sport. Maybe this makes more sense then transvestites and women? Then again, what doesn’t make more sense then women?

And as now, I can totally see myself living in Chicago more then I can see myself living in New York. I feel this is important for you to know. I’m not anti-Chicago by any means. Great town, and we’re talking about great food here either way you cut it.