Where to go??

Alabama As I call it, Ala-fuckin-bama. No. Pretty much ruling out the South. Liberal elitist or whatever you wanna call me. It's really not personal. Okay maybe it is. I just can't be around more rednecks then I am now. And no disrespect to my brother and his family.
Alaska Beautiful. Too cold. Too far away. No sports. Might as well just move to Canada
Arkansas See Ala-fuckin-bama.
Arizona- On the list. Not really cause I wanna follow mommy and daddy. The weather sounds great. Close to Cali and Vegas. And Bill and M
California- On the list. Friggin expensive though. Not sure where. Have family in LA and San Diego but I don't know if I see myself as an LA kinda guy. Bay area maybe? Again, cha-funkin-ching.
Colorado- Nope. Nothing against it. But I'm not the mountain climbing, camping, birkenstock wearing guy.
Connecticut- On the list. Lived there, know it kinda sucks. But still have a really good friend there who I'd like to be near, has two of the kids and it's close to NYC
DC- Hm. Visited a friend there, really like it. But his situation is up in the air. So on the list but doubt it.
Delaware- Just nah
Florida- Like it a lot but no. I do prefer a state that won't be taken out by hurricanes.
Georgia- Nope.
Hawaii- Hadn't even though about it till now. Hmmmm..nah, too far from every thing and everyone
Idaho- No, just no
Iowa- No, hell no
Illinois- Chicago is high on the list. Bum and Geri are there. Great city
Indiana- Nope, isn't it the Ala-fuckin-bama of the north?
Kansas- No, moving back across state line wouldn't even count as moving.
Kentucky- Nope
Louisiana- What did I say about the South? Stop asking.
Massachusetts- Boston is great, haven't been since I was a kid to be honest. But it just sounds like a great town. That said, not unless there's a great job there for me
Maryland- See DC
Maine- See Colorado
Michigan- Maybe with Alabama Whirly
Missouri- Show me the door
Minnesota- Have some family up there, really like it. But toooooo cold. Plus Prince is just fuckin' weird.
Mississippi- You know the answer
Montana- See Colorado
North Carolina- It's the south but, I'd almost consider it. V seems to have a nice set up there. But I hear there are NO women.
North Dakota- Yawn, no.
Nebraska- See Iowa
New Hampshire- Not gonna happen
New Jersey- Not unless T calls me
New Mexico- Nah.
New York- High on the list. Probably not the city. You gotta be rich to be poor there. Maybe back to Long Island. Cost of living is nuts though. But you can go home again.
Nevada- I said no to Vegas. But Tahoe could be interesting. Not on the list cause there's no reason to go. No family, friends or career as of now. But if any of those change, maybe.
Ohio- Have family in Cleveland. And always liked it there. Wouldn't rule it out.
Oklahoma- Nope. But they do grow some purty girls
Oregon- Would like to visit Portland but I don't see myself living there.
Pennsylvania- No real reason to consider it.
Rhode Island- Could be a really great life. Seems very laid back, chill on the beach. But no one moves to Rhode Island
South Carolina- Back to the south again?? No!
South Dakota- Yawn, no
Tennessee- Stop
Texas- Austin I'd consider. The rest, well as the song says. You can keep Texas, I want America back
Utah- I don't even want friends who have more than one wife. Or neighbors. Unless I can chill with Napoleon, hell no.
Virginia- For lovers huh? I got your love.
Vermont- See Maine
Washington- Seattle would be great. But probably too pricey.
Wisconsin- Weird state, always hear good things about it. Everyone from there loves it. Freaks. No
West Virginia- I'm thinking of a word. Rhymes with so, go, ho, yo, dough, blow. Wanna guess?
Wyoming- Have family in Jackson Hole, need to visit them actually. I said visit.