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May 31, 2007

Free Catahoula Leopard Dog to Good Home


Can you give me a GOOD home?





I am an adorable ten month-old female UNIQUE Catahoula Leopard Dog in need of a home. I was rescued from a kill-shelter where my time was about to run out. Thank goodness someone saved me and decided I was too sweet to go down like that! I am spayed, heartworm free and current on my vaccinations. I will be about 40-50 pounds when I am fully grown. I am good with children and dogs and very loving. I love to swim, fetch and play outside. When I’m not enjoying the outdoors I can be found inside curled up sleeping. I am the best of both worlds! I can be your hiking partner or your television watching buddy. I am very unique looking and I get a lot of compliments about my pretty eyes. I am ALMOST housebroken. I haven’t been in a stable enough home long enough to learn, but my foster mommy is working very hard with me. I am a puppy and have a few things to learn, but I am very smart. I promise to love you unconditionally if you become my forever owner! Email my foster mommy, Missy, at missya@ku.edu. She will be happy to show me off anytime!

May 30, 2007

Two Things..

I have a man-crush. I’m comfortable enough with myself that I can admit this, and I know I’ll be getting an earful for doing so. (cue mouthful joke from Porqchop) But you know what, I don’t care. It’s New York Mets shortstop, Jose Reyes. Love this kid. You haven’t seen anything like him. Not just his talent, but the excitement he plays with. It’s really like watching a 9 year old out there. He has all kinds of weird, intricate high-fives for his teammates. And you know how I usually feel about high-fives. Watching him watch the game is about as much fun as watching him play the game. We often see players who don’t seem to care, and treat it like a job rather than a game. So it’s refreshing to see a guy who genuinely has fun playing.

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Anyone who gets a DUI is pretty much an idiot, at least for that night. I have friends who have gotten ‘em, and they’ll be the first to admit it. It’s just pretty stupid. Never mind that it puts lives at risk, just financially speaking, it’s dumb. Rather than spend $30, maybe $60 on a cab, you end up shelling out at least a grand when it’s all said and done. That’s if you’re an average citizen. But for all these filthy rich celebrities, who seem to be racking up DUI’s faster than STD’s, it’s completely off the charts stupid. Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Jerry Buss, and the entire roster of the Cincinnati Bengals’ must be some of the biggest morons on the planet.

Hire a goddamn driver, you idiots. Gibson made over $300 mil on Passion, the guy has his own Church on his estate. Why the hell was he even out driving himself that night? Hell, why does he even need to go out? I’ve seen “Cribs,” these people have entire bars and even nightclubs in their homes.

I heard that Lindsay does have a driver, as I’m sure the others do as well, but it was 4am so the driver wasn’t on duty and she was on a run to get some blow. That’s just dumb on so many levels. If you’re her dealer, do you really want her running over to pick up some candy? It’s not as if she’s ever followed by oh, 30 photographers. That’s a good way to stay under the radar. Have your picture taken as you sell a celeb coke. Why isn’t there some gopher, running between her and George Jung? Driver off duty? This dumb broad has a $10,000 cell phone, not bill, the phone itself is ten grand. She can afford to pay a driver some overtime, or even hire a driver just for the hours of 1am and 6am.

Dumbass Paris Hilton is going to do a little time for driving without a license. She doesn’t need to drive! Hell, she’s a target when she’s on the road. I’d love to get rear ended by her in her Bentley, (cure rear end her joke) we’re talking about a nice pay day. Then again, no one ever said these people were smart.

May 25, 2007

TGIH

I haven’t posted much this week, okay I haven’t posted at all this week. Call it writers block, laziness or blame the pollen count. I really don’t know why, but I just haven’t had anything to say. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The last episode of “The Sopranos” was the best of the year so far. As much as I hear people expressing their disappointment with the show over the past few seasons, it’s still some of the best television. It just set the bar so high. Basically, it’s like comparing Goodfellas to The Godfather. Goodfellas is a fantastic movie, and it stands on its own merit. But if you compare it The Godfather, it’s a let down. Michael Jordan was still scoring 20 points a game at the end of his career, very solid right? But nothing like the Mike that dropped 30 points a game and defied gravity while changing the way basketball is played. “The Sopranos” changed TV, and it’s still one of the best shows on.

Had there never been “The Sopranos” I’d bet my paycheck that we never would have had shows like: Entourage, Weeds, The Shield, Rescue Me, 24, or Six Feet Under. Before “The Sopranos” made its debut, the best dramas were either about cops or Doc’s. Drama meant either saving a life, getting married, breaking up, or nailing the bad guy. Tony made our hero a more flawed, conflicted and realistic man. So what that he happened to be a sociopath.

Just as if we never had Jordan, we would never have LeBron, Kobe or Kevin Garnett. Hmm, let me see if I can find something women can better understand. Had there never been Mary Tyler Moore, you never would have had Rachel Green or Carrie Bradshaw. I think that works.

Anyway, back to T and the gang. I was actually impressed by AJ in the last episode, even though I was kind of hoping he’d be successful in his attempt. A guy I know has a theory for how the show will end, one I like so much that I’m bummed that I didn’t think of it. He thinks that Tony is going to hand over the Arab guys to the FBI, and go into the Witness Relocation Program. That would leave the door open for a movie later on. However, it isn’t really the big climatic ending everyone is expecting. Then again, the past few years haven’t had anything big really happen. Tony gets shot, but he’s fine. Junior doesn’t get whacked. And even when Christopher meets his maker, it’s very subdued. I’m picking this as the second most likely ending.

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I heard this story on the news a few nights ago about some kid being arrested for plotting to set of bomb or bombs at the funeral of Jerry Falwell. My first thought was, well he’s a little late. Then the newscaster said that it was to keep protestors from being a distraction, and that the 19 year old mastermind was a student at Falwell’s Liberty University. Well, that’s just beautiful. How it made sense to him, I’ll never know. A bomb to prevent distractions? From what I know about bombs, they tend to be a bit of a distraction. Something about loud noises, explosions, death and carnage just seems to give everyone ADD. Now I don’t think it’s necessarily right for one person to represent an entire group, be it a race, religion or student body at one particular university, but I’ll make an exception in this case with Liberty University.

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I’ve never watched “The View” and I’ve never really paid attention to all these controversies that Rosie O’Donnell keeps finding herself smack dab in the middle of. They get so big you can’t help but hear some of the details, but I never gave a rats ass about it. This is important to know, because yesterday I read about Rosie getting into a verbal sparring match on the show this week. I was bored enough that I read the details, and then after that I had to watch a clip of it. We’re talking pure entertainment. She got into it with this little cute blonde Republican, Elisabeth Hasselbeck. (Why is it all female republicans, are cute blondes? And big surprise, she’s an NFL quarterbacks wife)

So big, fat, lesbian Rosie (hey that’s what she called herself) starts a fight because she felt she wasn’t defended by her “friend” Elisabeth. Never mind that she chose to be friends with someone who misspells her own name, she totally attacked her. And I hate taking sides with any Republican, but this girl not only held her own, but she was in right. I think she should celebrate Brandi Chastain style.



There you go. About a weeks worth of posting in one serving.

May 18, 2007

One Question and Good News

I was just talking with a friend who tried to download a game for his brand new Motorla Q, and the game didn’t work. Or as he put it, “I downloaded this game and the fucking phone didn’t work.”

Which lead me to this question, what gets the “fucking?” Should it be the phone or the game? He isn’t sure which is messing up, so until he knows shouldn’t it be a, “fucking game didn’t work on my fucking phone?”

Who do I see to get a ruling on this?

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Wow, good news. Good fucking news. Robert De Niro and Al Pacino have signed on to do another movie together. http://www.variety.com/VR1117965130.html

They are also in talks to lend their voices to the video game version of the masterpiece, Heat.

Peace Out Jer

In response to 9/11 – “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way—all of them who have tried to secularize America—I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.”

On religion and politics – “The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.”

He likened gay marriage to slavery – “And the fact that John Kerry would not support a federal marriage amendment [prohibiting gay marriage], it equates in our minds as someone 150 years ago saying I'm personally opposed to slavery, but if my neighbor wants to own one or two that's OK. We don't buy that.”

These are some of the comments made by Jerry Falwell over the years, and you thought I wasn’t going to mention his death? Doubt it. Falwell was nothing but a hate monger who hid behind God. To be honest, I see very little difference between him and Bin Laden. They both use religion and their interpretations of the bible to spread their extremist philosophies. He may not have orchestrated anything on the scale of 9/11, but he sure encouraged President Bush to kill and do so in the name of the Lord, “You've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops and I am for the President — chase them all over the world, if it takes ten years, blow them all away in the name of the Lord.”

This is a guy that said, “His message of peace and reconciliation under almost all circumstances is simply incompatible with Christian teachings as I interpret them. This 'turn the other cheek' business is all well and good but it's not what Jesus fought and died for. What we need to do is take the battle to the Muslim heathens and do unto them before they do unto us,” about President Jimmy Carter.

And now he’s gone. Thank God. Just need Phelps and Robertson to join him soon. Yep, I said it. See ya in hell.

May 17, 2007

Hirp On...

Over the past few days I’ve done a little catching up on my movie watching by renting a couple I missed in the theatre. Not really sure why I missed both of these, because I really wanted to see them when they came out. Anyway, here is a little review of Bobby and Alpha Dog.

I started my catching up by watching Bobby over the weekend. First thing to catch my eye when I heard about this movie wasn’t the cast, it was the director. I had just been wondering what happened to Emilio Estevez. Not that I was ever a big fan of his, but with his family having a nice run of success it was just one of those “whatever happened to,” moments. And I had seen a preview once for a movie, The War At Home, which he wrote and directed back in the mid-90s. I think it’s a preview on a movie I own, because I some how remember seeing the preview pretty frequently but I can’t really place it. The Sheen/Estevez family is pretty remarkable. Martin really reintroduced himself to the public with “The West Wing,” and Charlie reinvented himself from former punch line to television star with “Two and a Half Men.” Well the preview always looked pretty solid, but I never heard anything about the actual movie.

So about a year ago I was playing on IMDB.com as I often do, when I came across Bobby. Okay fine, I’ll admit it, I was looking up Lindsay Lohan again. That’s when I saw the cast, and there aren’t many casts that are as impressive and diverse as Bobby. You have your always fantastic, top notch performers in William H. Macy, Laurence Fishburne, Helen Hunt, Martin Sheen and Anthony Hopkins. Then you have the tabloid favorites with Lindsay Lohan, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and to a lesser extent Sharon Stone and Christian Slater. There’s the Will Smith’s heir-apparent, who suddenly stopped taking his career seriously in Nick Cannon. The one time, impressive and cute child actor turned Hobbit, Elijah Wood. Along with Shia LaBeouf, who is the new “it” actor of the moment. An intriguing cast without question, although nothing like the cast of The Departed.

So that director and cast, along with the fact that I’m a bit of a Kennedy fan made this a movie of interest for a multitude of reasons. And I must say, it was a very good movie. There were surprisingly strong performances by Lohan, Stone and Slater. Mostly Lohan, place on my top 10 aside, she actually had the chops. You’d expect her to over act and play a living cliché, but she was actually charming, vulnerable and very low key. More about Sharon Stone later and Slater is all the way back. If only Hollywood had more faith in him, or if he had more faith in himself perhaps, we could see a Robert Downey Jr., like return.

As for the movie itself, it’s really more about the 60’s than it is Bobby Kennedy personally. The hope, last glimmer of hope for a generation, he provided is what we see, and that isn’t at all what you’d expect to see. When you hear there’s a movie about Bobby Kennedy, you’re expecting it to examine him not the impact of his life. Estevez easily could have made a juicy, Hollywood tale of another Kennedy and it probably would have been an interesting movie. But this was much more personal, and linking all these random lives together through one man shows us what a leader is supposed to do.

It’s not a flawless, can’t miss movie. It can be a bit slow, predictable and preachy at times. But it’s definitely worth picking up at Blockbuster or through Netflix, but probably won’t ever find a spot in my personal collection.

Okay, this doesn’t really fit into a review but, it just hit me that Emilio used to be engaged to Demi Moore. How friggin’ bizarre is that chick? She hangs out with her husband and ex-husband, and appears with her idiot husband in a movie directed by another ex.

Last night I watched the true-crime flick, Alpha Dog. This is another movie I had an interest in long before it made it to theatres, and then some how I missed it. I can’t remember if it was MSNBC or which channel that I first saw the story of Jesse James Hollywood and the kidnapping and murder that the movie is based on, but it was a fascinating story that sounded more like a movie than an actual event.

Turns out it made for a pretty good, but probably coulda been better movie. Everyone was solid, but it still felt more like a “look, Justin Timberlake can do this too” vehicle than gritty crime-drama. And Justin did a very respectable job making and idiot, misguided, troubled punk a like-able sympathetic figure. Ironically, this is probably where the movie went wrong. His character wasn’t the “Alpha Dog,” and shouldn’t have had such a prominent role. That should have been Emile Hirsch, who reminds me a bit of Shia LaBeouf. He played the ringleader to these idiots, who could easily be the same group of dumbasses that I knew in high school. The wannabe thugs, that got in over their heads and made the jump from wannabe’s to full fledged knuckleheads and criminals. So in other words, the guys that carjacked me. Only some how the real Jesse James Hollywood has eluded capture for years and made the FBI’s most wanted list, where as the guys I knew were all arrested within a couple of days.

Other notable performances were Ben Foster, a poor-man’s Ryan Gosling, and Sharon Stone who is on a little roll right now. For her to turn into a character actress now, and ditch the seductress role is a pretty ballsy move on her part. And this is her best work since Casino.

Something that stood out for me was the score, including songs by Tupac, Eminem, David Bowie, Citizen Cope and multiple songs by Kansas City’s own Tech N9ne (not that I’m a fan of his, but worth noting)

May 15, 2007

Sunday Recap

*Do not read unless you have watched this weeks Sopranos episode

Finally watched “The Sopranos,” and saw the event everyone was talking about. Before I get into that, I have funny little story to tell. I got to work this morning and asked my friend if he had seen it, he had so I told him about how I saw it online that “Tony killed Christopher,” and two women within ear shot simultaneously said “What?!” So um, err oops. Karmas a real bitch.

Anyway, I can’t say I was surprised that Christopher was off’ed. It was just too obvious that he was the greatest threat to Tony, so they gave him the spotlight the week before as a find send off. Which now leaves us back to wondering who and how, Tony will be brought down. We’re seeing more of AJ, and just how unscrewed he is. He seems fascinated with violence, but not exactly violent himself. He’s a complete follower, who I think could start feeling that he needs to make a name for himself. I could see how the pressure from his friends using his name, but his lack of action could lead him to reach for attention. Killing dad would get more than enough attention that he so craves. But he’s an idiot, and he’d totally screw up any attempt he might make on Tony. So he’s my long shot now. Phil and New York have become the “too obvious” choice, and we haven’t seen much of Bobby lately. I think we’re supposed to forget about that conflict, and I still believe that’s going to be the grand finale.

One thing has sat wrong with me though. In the previews for the final three episodes, they flashed through faces of all the major players. Only one face didn’t really fit the montage, Meadow. She hasn’t been heard from much, so she’s my wildcard. She’s that team that heads into the NCAA Tourney with little fan fare, but has all the pieces to make a real run at the title. If only everything can come together at the exact right time. And she doesn’t have Bill Self running the show.

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As for Entourage, I love the twist. The boys buying the rights to Medellin and producing a big budget flick will be a blast to watch. I’m thinking “Project Greenlight” only without Ben Affleck and Ari playing the role of Chris Moore. I wonder though, how the hell does Vince have any money? Seriously, between agent, manager, accountant, public relations, the cars and other toys, the house and his complete lack of money management skills there is simply no way he could have a dime to buy a pack of gum, let alone the rights to a movie. Someone much smarter than me, needs to break down his finances.

My next question is this: In the HBO Universe, how close did Johnny Drama come to running into Tony Soprano at the Grand Canyon? Couldn’t Drama play Christopher in the biopic he was undoubtedly working on prior to his death? He’s too old for the role of AJ, and Vince is too big of a name to play just a Captain and physically not big enough to play Tony.

May 14, 2007

HirpTV part Deux

A few years ago I sent a text to my cousin that’s a Lakers fan. The text said, “Wow, Kobe,” after he hit a game tying shot at the buzzer. My cousin responded that he was Tivo-ing the game, and I felt like a complete ass. He had planned his day around going home and watching the game, and my text ruined it all for him. I felt bad about it, but today I found out exactly what that feels like.

I didn’t watch The Sopranos last night, planned on watching it tonight. So this morning, instead of starting it off like every other Monday and recapping the episode with a friend, I immediately told him I hadn’t watched it yet. I proceeded with my morning, doing some work and occasionally checking email, as well as a few stops on the baseball message board on ESPN.com.

And then, fuck, it happened to me. Some little schmuck posted a thread with a title that gave away a major event from the show, I won’t say what it was incase you haven’t seen it yet. Suddenly I knew exactly how my cousin felt, and at the same time I remembered what it felt like to get kicked square in the nuts. It’s not a good feeling. I was being so careful to not find out.

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Shit, it’s official. NBC released their fall schedule for 2008, and Studio 60 isn’t on it. Directly or indirectly, this is going to lead to us having something as silly as Bingo on TV. Oops, too late.

May 11, 2007

HirpTV

Last night I was watching some television, shocking, and saw this commercial that just didn’t sit right with me. It was for some bottled Vitamin Water. The premise is that Boston Red Sox star and Chicago Bear star, David Ortiz and Brian Urlacher, are playing badminton, and they are so powerful and great because they drink this wonderful water, they are amazing badminton players. It seems to imply that it helps make them so powerful that they can hit a birdie (I paid attention during gym in 5th grade) with such force, that it can actually become lodged in their opponents’ leg.



Now why does this bother me so? Well, with all the talk of steroids in sports, and baseball specifically, its just stupid to be part of an ad campaign that is showing us the strength these guys get from something they put into their bodies. Even though its water, and nothing illegal, it’s just bad taste and poor judgment. This ranks right up there with the idiot move by former player, and the biggest name in baseball to actually test positive for steroid use, Rafeal Palmerio. See Mr. Palmeiro, testified in front of Congress in 2005 that he never used anything to enhance his performance. This was ironic because he was a pitchman for a little product you probably heard of, something called Viagra.

So we have two huge athletes, who have a cloud of suspicion over t heir heads as it is, selling a product by telling us it makes them stronger and better. Overall it’s a brilliant move by them, and the people at Vitamin Water, and while I’m talking about the folks at Vitamin Water, nice name fellas. That was clever, how long did it take to come up with “Vitamin Water”? I’d love to see a reenactment of that board meeting.

I also found the sickest, and most twisted show on television since “Caillou.” Another surprise, this was on MTV, formerly known as Music Television. Anyway, the show is “Scarred,” and all they do is show clips of people getting seriously fucked up injuries. Injuries that came from skateboarding and jumping down some stairs, only to land wrong and have a dude’s knee basically blow up, and a weightlifter who also managed to blow out his knee when a power squat goes awry.



This is the same network that brought us “Jackass” and was so sure to tell its viewers not to try these “stunts” at home, and now they are airing video of its viewers mangling their bodies. I vote that they just bring back “Yo! MTV Raps,” and maybe “Singled Out.”

May 10, 2007

All Apologies

This will sound like its sports related, but it really isn’t, so stay with me. This week Boston Red Sox pitcher, Curt Schilling, was on a radio show and said that Barry Bonds had admitted using steroids, cheating on his wife and cheating on his taxes. All three of those claims are false. So Schilling was blasted by everyone for his inaccuracies, and he deserved it. To his credit, Schilling then went on his blog the following day and apologized. Good for him, but not good enough after you read what else he said.

“I’d love to tell you I was ambushed, misquoted, misinterpreted, something other than what it was, but I wasn’t. I’m thinking that waking up at 8:30 am to do the weekly interview we do with WEEI is probably not the greatest format and if you heard the interview it’s not hard to realize that I’m usually awake about 30-45 seconds before it begins. That’s still no excuse or reason to say what I did, or even answer the question that was asked.”

I can’t tell you how much I hate it when someone makes an excuse, and then says they aren’t making excuses. There’s no bigger cop out, it’s cowardly. You screwed up, you’re apologizing and that’s great. If you want to make an excuse, do so, but don’t attach a disclaimer. Anyone that ever makes an excuse, and then says they aren’t making an excuse, should kiss my ass. Only not really kiss my ass, yet at the same time, kiss my ass.

May 09, 2007

Laced

Who wants to get rich with me? I’m looking to file a class action law suit, and I’m thinking it could be a huge settlement. We’re talking about a public safety issue, one that affects all of us and all of our children. Lives are being put at jeopardy, and without a reason or benefit to anyone. This isn’t about guns, seatbelts, abortion or people who TWD (text while driving). I’m talking about shoelaces, and their dangerous round design. What happened to the days when shoelaces were flat? They never came untied then. But now I see my own, as well as my friends, laces coming untied for no apparent reason.

Lives may have yet to been lost, but it’s only a matter of time. There was nothing wrong with the old design, and I see no benefit to these new round laces. Is it a fashion statement? I can’t see how it would be. If it is, what does it say? “I really hope I trip.” Well, I won’t stand for this. And if I’m not careful, that’ll be a literal statement. We’ve been lied to long enough; corporate America needs to start caring about the consumer again. Coffee comes with warnings now, cigarette packs tell us of their health risks, and casinos give us a phone number to call for help with a gambling addiction. Yet the shoe companies continue to show no regard for our safety or our wallets. The first Presidential Candidate to take up my cause will get my full support, unless of course it’s a Republican other than Rudy.

So, does anyone have a number for Jackie Chiles?

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I’ve spent about two weeks out of the last five house/dog sitting for various friends, and it’s not that I have a plethora of friends. (anytime I can use the word plethora, you can bet your ass I will) And my latest gig is about to come to an end, so I’m looking for more house sitting opportunities. Maybe this will be my reality TV show; I’ll just give up my apartment, put most of my possessions in storage, and spend a year house sitting. Cameras can watch me dig through dressers, put the milk back in the fridge with one drop left, charge up ridiculous amounts of adult movies and sit naked on my friends’ couches as I eye both the dog and a jar of peanut butter. Shit, I think I may have said too much.

May 08, 2007

No Joke

Guy goes to see his Doctor, and is told he has Pancreatic Cancer and is given a year or so to live. So he quits his job, decides to quit paying his mortgage and spends his final days spending. He buys nice cars, travels around the world. Then finds out he doesn’t actually have cancer, and that he in fact was suffering from non-fatal pancreatitis. So then he’s faced with losing his house and being broke. Waiting for the punch line? Well I’m sorry, but there isn’t one .This isn’t a joke, it’s a true story I heard on “Countdown with Keith Olberman” last night about a man in Norway.

Of course he’s suing, and I wouldn’t call it a frivolous suit by any means, but he does have to take some of the responsibility for the situation. And I don’t mean because he made the choice to not pay his bills, I’m healthy and I’d like to stop doing that. But he probably should have sought a second opinion, just a thought. But can you imagine being this guy? For two years you get yourself ready to die, you do all the things you’ve always wanted to do, and I imagine live exactly how you always wanted to. Talk about having nothing to lose? But also saying good-byes and thinking you’ll never do this or that again.

Then one day your doctor says, “hey um, we got good news and we got bad news. The good is, you’re going to live. Now the bad, you’re pretty much fucked in every other aspect. My bad, we’ll send you a bill.”

Sounds like a movie to me. Might even have to write it myself.

May 07, 2007

Sunday Recap

In college and even high school basketball, they have “Senior Night” It’s usually the last home game of the year, and they honor the seniors on the team before the game, as well as try to take them out of the game one at a time so they can each get their own final standing ovations from the crowd. It’s really pretty cool to see, and it’d be pretty neat if we all had something similar in our collective professions. Imagine getting sent home early on your last day, and everyone taking the time to show you some appreciation for your years of service. Well, they’re doing just that on “The Sopranos,” and it’s been a beautiful thing.

A different character has been given a great scene in each episode so far this year. Last week we had a powerful scene between Tony and Carmela, and this week they gave Michael Imperioli (Christopher) a fantastic scene in which he simply killed it, both literally and figuratively. I’ve never really loved Christopher, nor have I truly despised him, usually he just annoys me. But over the seasons, he has some of the best twists and turns of any character on the show. Watching him relapse, each time, has been almost like watching a friend relapse. I’ve actually heard myself begging that he put the drink down; his battle with his demons has been more powerful and realistic than an after school special.

If Vegas is taking odds on who will bring Tony down or kill him, the favorite has to be Christopher. The groundwork has all been laid and it makes perfect sense, and that’s why it won’t happen. It’s too neat and well packaged, so I’m leaning more to either AJ doing something stupid or Bobby along with Janet.

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As for Entourage, I think it was the best episode of the season to this point. Love watching Ari deal with Mrs. Ari, and his presence was lacking a bit in the previous episodes. I knew that some how he’d find his way back to Vince, I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. Can’t say I’ll really miss Carla Gugino’s character, easy on the eyes as she was. I’d like to see Adam Goldberg pop up in a few more episodes, you can never have enough neurotic Jews in a show. It’s like you can never have too many guys who play defense on a basketball team, or (for the ladies reading) you can never have too many pairs of shoes.

It’s funny, on “Entourage” they talk about doing more movies that I’d really like to see than Hollywood actually produces. Medellin sounds great, as did Queens Blvd and the Ramones bio-pic. They’d have to be better than Next or Meet the Robinsons.

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Random thoughts:

One of the hot topics in this country is how to tighten up the borders, and keep illegals out. But every May 5th, White America celebrates a Mexican holiday just to have another reason to drink. That makes perfect sense.

Paris Hilton going to jail, now that’d be a reality TV show worth watching. Someone make this happen, please.

May 03, 2007

Sopranos

* if you haven't watched this past Sopranos episode, do not read this post.

Damn, it’s Thursday and I haven’t yet talked about last weeks “Sopranos” episode. Sorry about that. Well, not too much really happened. The whole thing between Tony and Hesh is just another situation to show us someone else who has motive to either turn on Tony or have him killed. I always liked Hesh, not just because he’s fellow a member of the tribe, but he just seems like the cool grandfather. I’d hate for Tony to have to clip him, but loaning a gangster with a gambling problem 200k isn’t the wisest of moves. Which is the beauty of the situation, it shows us how charming and frightening the mob can be all at once. There’s really no way he could have turned down Tony’s request, and he can only rely on the word of a criminal to get his money back.

Quick recap of the possible traitors and their reasons:

Bobby Bacala- Had the throw down with T and kicked his ass, then T had him “pop his cherry” in Canada, and he dropped his gun and left part of his shirt in the dead guy’s hand. Not to mention his lovely wife Janice, would love for her guy to be the Don. Has reason to either whack T, or turn on him.

Janice- Could kill Tony to stick up for her husband, and then play Hilary Clinton as First Lady of the Mob. Plus Tony’s mudda and uncle have both tried to kill him, so it makes sense that his bitch of a sister would try too. The Sopranos put the “fun” in dysfunctional.

Christopher- Probably still upset that they had to off his girlfriend, and really doesn’t seem to have an interest in being in “the life” any more. Would rather go Hollywood, and there’s plenty of tension between he and Tony. He can’t really rat on him, go underground and still make it in Hollywood. But he could go Henry Hill on him.

Paulie- A motor mouth who will never rat, you can bet on that. The actor that plays him, Tony Siciro, actually made David Chase promise that he would never rat on anyone in the show. Siciro, reportedly was involved in some mob activities before going into acting.

Carmela- Hates the fact that “life is still like this, even at our age.” And what do they say about a woman scorned? She’s been cheated on for years and fears for her financial future.

AJ- He’s just a shit head. The fact that he’s been as big of a role this season as he has, is the biggest mistake they’ve made. Make Meadow part of the story line, she can at least act a little and is easy on the eyes. He could try and do something to Tony, but he can’t do anything right.

Phil Leotardo- Too obvious, but still has to be mentioned.

May 02, 2007

Random

• Ring back tones are popular now with cell phones, and I’ve had a few in the past few months for different people. Some James Blunt, some fart sounds, and “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” for starters. But today I thought of the next ring back tone for me. It’s simple, and genius, a busy signal. I think that would be absolutely hysterical. You call me, you get a busy signal and before you can hang up, I answer. This would entertain me for at least two weeks.

• For lunch today, we went to Italian D to scarf down a couple of slices. While eating, my friend and I witnessed a woman eating her pizza in the oddest of ways. It wasn’t just that she wasn’t folding it, but she was using a fork to help hold up the entire piece as she ate it. Personally, I think they should have given her money back to her and told her to get out. There are right and wrong ways to do some things, and eating pizza the right way should be something everyone knows. Those that don’t know shouldn’t get to eat it. Not real pizza anyway, let them have Pizza Hut or Papa John’s. Fold your pizza, and don’t ever take a napkin to it to soak up the grease, I don’t know how else to say it.

• I guess there was some march yesterday for Illegal aliens, and this has to rank up there as one of the biggest “duh” moments in recent memory. Let me see if I understand this, we have like a million people gathering and advertising to the world that they aren’t here legally right? Um, scoop ‘em all up or just make them legal already. If you aren’t going to do something when they are rounding themselves up, you might as well make them citizens. In fact, we should put them in office if they are that well organized.

ADD Post

Wow, it’s going to be a long day. I forgot to take my Ritalin this morning, and I’ve been at work for about 40 minutes and I can already tell I’m totally screwed. I’ve started a Sports Guy column and read about half of it, I checked about three baseball box scores instead of all of them, and I think I’ve restarted the same song on my iPod four times. Seriously, this is me working without Ritalin. It aint pretty, and to be honest I’m a little worried about how this post will turn out. I could see myself just moving on to something else mid…..wait, where was I? Oh yeah, mid-sentence.

This reminds me of something I wanted to mention last week. I went to the pharmacy to get my script filled, and I have new insurance. Well, the pharmacist tells me that this company must not really believe adults have ADD because they want “prior authorization” from my doctor that I do in fact, really need this medication. Um, isn’t that pretty obvious? You know, that’s the doctor that wrote me the fucking script in the first place. Now they have to say, “I’m serious, he needs this.” This is one of the dumbest things I’ve heard in a long time. Why exactly do they think my doctor wrote the prescription?

Okay, back to reading Sports Guy. I’ll finish my post in a few. Man I feel like playing Playstation now.

Apparently the NBA Playoffs are going on, I hate you Isiah Thomas. I like the NBA, but there’s no reason the Playoffs should last two months. Professional athletes shouldn’t need a day off in between games. If they do, I should get every other day off too.

I guess Bon Jovi is going to be on Idol tonight. Is it safe to have that much Aqua Net under one roof? Is it ironic that Fox is making boat loads of cash off the gayest show in the history of television? And they give to charity?? Shouldn’t Bill O’Reilly spontaneously combust? Sorry, but straight men don’t do karaoke. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course not.

Okay, so I ran home to take my meds. It’s nice living close to work. If only I could find a way to go home for a daily nap.