Hirplings

I know this much, it isn’t going to be fun. I’ve had a root canal, but I must have blocked out the experience, because I have no recollection of the procedure itself. I do remember thinking, “that wasn’t the worst thing ever,” but I no longer believe myself. I am now convinced this is going to be more painful than when I broke my back, scarier than being carjacked, and last longer than high school. That’s my very own un-holy trinity. If I believed in Hell, those would be three of the lowest rings. I know it makes me a giant cry baby, and I really don’t care. I’m working hard at freaking myself out, and I won’t be denied. So I have that going for me, which is nice.

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Yesterday I applied for a job online, and the job sounds pretty good, so I have no real shot at getting it. Not just because it sounds good, but because my resume isn’t good enough. My work experience should get me in the running, I’d think so anyway, but there’s one very small section which is my Achilles heel. The lack of a degree, I’ve known all my life, would hold me back. So on part of the online application, they asked for a summary of my academic experience. I wanted to simply answer “brief.” But that didn’t seem like enough of an answer. So I stated the facts, I went to KU, but I didn’t graduate, and so to summarize my experience; it was “brief.” Figure I’m screwed if they just look as see a goose egg in the degree section of their scorecard, so I might as well try and give an answer that stands out more than, or as much as, Bachelors from University of Missouri. Oh, that reminds me, after telling them it was “brief” I went on to say “could be worse, I could have a degree from Kansas State.” I need to hire an editor who will keep me from saying something so stupid. I just hope their HR person hates Kansas State with a passion. Or hates KU so much, they want to bring me in for an interview, just to humiliate me. At least that would give me something to blog about.