Penis and Napkins

Kids say the funniest things right? Here’s proof. Yesterday, we were getting ready to head to the pool. That’s how we roll. So I was getting ready to change, so Coco and the Kyd were exiting our room. The Kyd called Riley out of the room, and after the door closed dropped this gem.

“Come on Riley, you don’t need to see daddy’s little penis,” (she calls Coco and I the dogs mommy and daddy)

So Coco, shocked, responded with, “I don’t think you should call it small.”

That was the setup for, “Okay. Riley, you don’t need to see daddy’s big penis” Look, I have an ego, but having a 6 year old say that is creepy and scary.

And so mom quickly responded, “Let’s just call it ‘his privates.’”

***

So now that I would like to find a new job, all I seem to do is see things around me that are making someone else rich. Like today at lunch, I couldn’t help but wonder how the napkin company got started. And I wonder if there is someone out there now, who is itching to turn the napkin business on its collective ear. Maybe I can become the Steve Jobs of napkins. I’ll call them i-Kins. I’ll make them ultra-thin, packaged in a really sleek box and they’ll be overpriced. Just wait till the i-Kin mini hits.

Then maybe it’ll be time to move on to taking on the tray business. I just need to find a way to keep a drink for tipping, and I can revolutionize the trays we all use when we grab fast food. Imagine walking at your normal pace, while keeping an eye on the kids and not once worrying if your drink will tip. I could put the company that makes the lids for McDonalds’ cups out of business. And you know you’ve noticed how those lids are 100 times better than their Burger King counterparts.