Just because baseball-reference.com is the best ways for a geek like me to make the last hour of work go by, I was able to do some meaningless research (over a few days, of course).
Today, shockingly, I was looking at great years by pitchers, and started with Dwight Gooden in 1985.
In his 24 wins, Doc was 24-0 (duh) with a ridiculous 1.07 era. In his four loses, his average stat line was 7 ip, 6 hits, 2.25 runs, 7 k’s and 1.25 walks. You know what happens if you have numbers like that over 35 starts? 245 IP, 210 hits, 245 K’s and just 44 walks.
His last two no decisions came in September, and in each of those games he pitched 9 innings without giving up a run. The Mets won one in extra innings, and lost the other. If they score just one run in the first 9 innings of each of those games, Gooden ends up 26-4 with a 1.53 era, 18 complete games and 10 shutouts.
The Mets were in a battle for first with the St. Louis Cardinals that year, and in the last month of the season, Gooden’s era was .34. He had blood alcohol levels higher in all of his DUI stops. Okay, so that last part isn’t true.
Here’s something else, that’s just as insane. Over his last nine starts in 1984, Gooden was 8-1 with 5 CGs, 105 k’s in 76 innings. So over 44 starts he was 32-5, 352ip, 240hits, 373 strikeouts, with 21 complete games and 10 shutouts. His era was 1.43. Oh, and in those 5 loses, he gave up a combined 10 runs.
Pedro Martinez had one of the all-time great stretches, with his best years coming in 1999-2000. The best he did over a 44 game stretch was 31-7 in 307 innings, giving up 213 hits, with 8 complete games and 3 shutouts and striking out 436 and had a 1.79 era.
In 1968, Bob Gibson set the record for the lowest ERA by a starting pitcher for a season, a miniscule 1.12. That year he made 35 starts, so I looked up how he did in his next nine. Not really sure how I settled on 44 starts, probably because I just happened to see how amazing Doc was for his 44 start stretch. So including his first 9 starts of 1969, Gibson was 29-11 with a 1.20 era. He struck out 339 in 382 innings. Gibson completed an astounding 35 of those 44 starts, 16 of them were shutouts.
I couldn’t write about this without looking at Roger Clemens and some of the remarkable seasons he had, and I thought it’d be better to do his best 44 before the “era” began, and his best 44 consecutive starts after the juice was loose.
Using his 1990 stats and first 13 starts of ’91, Rocket went 30-9 with 2.02 era, 304 k’s, 10 complete games and 4 shutouts. And then in Toronto, when he MAY have gone on some sort of substance, he went 29-10 with 2.20 era, 385 k’s, 13 complete games and 5 shutouts.
So Doc ends up with the most wins, fewest loses, top 3 in strikeouts, second in complete games and shutouts. That’s dominating, to say the least. And I have to ask myself, would could have been? And so I had to try and answer myself. I looked at the career he had up through 1991, when he still resembled the Dr. K and from 1992-2000 I used the pitcher that baseball-reference lists as having the most similar career to Gooden, his former teammate, David Cone. Had Gooden had the years Cone had over those nine seasons, he would have retired (at age 35) with 249 wins, a .660 winning %, a 3.23 era and 3,115 strike outs. He would be tied for 47th all-time in wins, 20th in winning %, 16th in strikeouts. He’d have an era lower than Bob Feller, Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson, and Phil Niekro.
And he’d be retired at 35, 10 years younger than Randy Johnson is now. Clemens last pitched at 44. Greg Maddux at 42, even David Cone pitched till he was 40.
Man, what could have been. A Hall of Famer and all-time great, that’s what could have been.
August 25, 2009
August 20, 2009
I Found Myself
I knew I supported health care reform, but when I Googled Hirp and saw that it was a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization at George Washington University (founded in 1995, a year after I picked up the nickname), well I even surprised myself. Health Insurance Reform Project (HIRP) and the best I had ever come up with was He Is Really Pissed, and I kinda was back then.
Here you can see a history of HIRP Research Briefs, which is funny, cause I never owned any briefs.
http://www.nhpf.org/library/products.cfm/HIRP
But hey, I finally found myself. “HIRP is currently co-located with the National Health Policy Forum.”
Still, I’m pretty annoyed that I ever let the rights to hirp.com lapse. A few years ago I tried to get it back, and they wanted $7,000, because it was “in development” for something big. It’s now a completely retarded collection of obvious scams. So maybe it’s not that different from what I produce now.
Here you can see a history of HIRP Research Briefs, which is funny, cause I never owned any briefs.
http://www.nhpf.org/library/products.cfm/HIRP
But hey, I finally found myself. “HIRP is currently co-located with the National Health Policy Forum.”
Still, I’m pretty annoyed that I ever let the rights to hirp.com lapse. A few years ago I tried to get it back, and they wanted $7,000, because it was “in development” for something big. It’s now a completely retarded collection of obvious scams. So maybe it’s not that different from what I produce now.
August 19, 2009
Baseblog
I’ve always been a big fan of “what if” and a recent story about Ken Griffey Jr has me playing the game out in some excel files. Turns out that Seattle almost passed on Griffey with the #1 pick in the 1987 draft. I’ve never even thought about that possibility, and now I’m borderline obsessed with it.
The ripple effect of that one pick, assuming everyone went on to have the careers they had, would have changed the last 22 years of baseball, as well as the future. It really is mind boggling. Up would be down, right would be left, Seattle would be Tampa and the Pirates would have been on top. As the Pirates had the second pick in the ’87 draft, and Griffey who made it to the show in 1989 would have played along side Andy Van Slyke and a 24 year old left fielder named Barry Bonds. Bobby Bonilla plays third, and the ripple begins.
I figure that the M’s lose 10 more games than they did in ’89 without JR and they end up drafting Alex Fernandez in the 1990 draft. Turns out, he’s the only Alex we’d ever picture in a Seattle jersey (which would be different today, because Griffey helped design the jerseys we now know).
The real impact comes in the 1992 draft. After the Mariners, assuming an extra 10 losses (with a few coming against the Yankees) the Mariners hold the #6 pick. So they draft a shortstop out of Kalamazoo Michigan, he goes by the name of Derek Jeter. And now we can really see how things have changed.
In October of 1992 we saw the Pirates win the World Series. They won 96 games with Alex Cole and Cecil Epsy playing right field, and they’ve been replaced with Griffey and his 27 homers (positive gain of 26). And because they didn’t need to worry about replacing the power of Bonilla who left for NY after ’91, the Pirates hold on to John Smiley, who was coming off of a 20 win season, and won 16 more for the Twins in ’92. They take out the Braves in the League Championship Series. We know of a Ken Griffey Jr who has played 21 seasons without winning a World Series, and a Bonds that played 22 without one. Now they both have a title before either is even 30 years old.
Coming off wining possibly his second World Series title, I don’t know if Bonds leaves for San Francisco. Does he get all Kobe, and want to win one on his own, and back home? Does he want to stay with his buddy Griffey, and offer a discount to Pittsburgh? Or do the Yankees make a stronger pitch for his services? Most importantly, even if he leaves, the Pirates still have Griffey in the lineup, instead of Andy Van Slyke (who could have been traded after 91, to make room for Jeff King at 3rd and bring in some pitching help) which give Doug Drabek plenty of reason to stick around.
What happens in the June draft is most interesting. Seattle, holding the #1 pick, like their young shortstop, so they draft the highly touted pitcher, Darren Dreifort and Alex Rodriguez gets scoped up by the Dodgers. Does a major market like LA really lose A-Rod to Texas? A-Rod takes over the starting job for the Dodgers in 96, in a lineup that features Mike Piazza, Eric Karros, Delino Deshields and Raul Mondesi. And the 96 Dodgers probably make the World Series, and they wouldn’t be facing the Yankees, but very possibly, the Baltimore Orioles.
From 91-2008 the following teams actually won World Series titles (in order):
The Twins, Blue Jays *2, (strike year), Braves, Yankees, Marlins, Yankees *3, Diamond Backs, Angels, Marlins, Red Sox, White Sox, Cardinals, Red Sox, Phillies.
All that is erased if Seattle passes on Ken Griffey Jr. In 1992 the Mariners were purchased by the chairman of Nintendo, as they were also thought to be a young promising team, with perhaps the most marketable star in the game. Take Griffey away, and with struggling attendance, a new owner may have moved them to a city like Tampa Bay. A threat made by their owner in the late 80’s and early 90’s before he sold the team.
So if there’s a team already in Tampa Bay, what city would have been picked for expansion in 1998 (when the Tampa Bay we know, got the Rays) Other cities that were considered were Buffalo, Mexico City, Nashville, Washington DC, Monterrey, Vancouver, Orlando and a couple of others. I’m guessing that DC would have won the Rays franchise. Undoubtedly, Seattle would have been on the list after losing the Mariners.
If DC were selected, than were would the Expos (now Nationals) relocated to 2005. Most likely one of the cities that applied for a team in 1998 get the Expos, and give them a name that’s better than “Nationals” and they probably even spell it correctly on all their jerseys. This really may be something I need to quit my job over and right a book about. Wonder if the wife will give me the green light? Wonder if more than eight people would be interested anyway? Guessing I’ve lost most of you already, but thanks for trying!
The ripple effect of that one pick, assuming everyone went on to have the careers they had, would have changed the last 22 years of baseball, as well as the future. It really is mind boggling. Up would be down, right would be left, Seattle would be Tampa and the Pirates would have been on top. As the Pirates had the second pick in the ’87 draft, and Griffey who made it to the show in 1989 would have played along side Andy Van Slyke and a 24 year old left fielder named Barry Bonds. Bobby Bonilla plays third, and the ripple begins.
I figure that the M’s lose 10 more games than they did in ’89 without JR and they end up drafting Alex Fernandez in the 1990 draft. Turns out, he’s the only Alex we’d ever picture in a Seattle jersey (which would be different today, because Griffey helped design the jerseys we now know).
The real impact comes in the 1992 draft. After the Mariners, assuming an extra 10 losses (with a few coming against the Yankees) the Mariners hold the #6 pick. So they draft a shortstop out of Kalamazoo Michigan, he goes by the name of Derek Jeter. And now we can really see how things have changed.
In October of 1992 we saw the Pirates win the World Series. They won 96 games with Alex Cole and Cecil Epsy playing right field, and they’ve been replaced with Griffey and his 27 homers (positive gain of 26). And because they didn’t need to worry about replacing the power of Bonilla who left for NY after ’91, the Pirates hold on to John Smiley, who was coming off of a 20 win season, and won 16 more for the Twins in ’92. They take out the Braves in the League Championship Series. We know of a Ken Griffey Jr who has played 21 seasons without winning a World Series, and a Bonds that played 22 without one. Now they both have a title before either is even 30 years old.
Coming off wining possibly his second World Series title, I don’t know if Bonds leaves for San Francisco. Does he get all Kobe, and want to win one on his own, and back home? Does he want to stay with his buddy Griffey, and offer a discount to Pittsburgh? Or do the Yankees make a stronger pitch for his services? Most importantly, even if he leaves, the Pirates still have Griffey in the lineup, instead of Andy Van Slyke (who could have been traded after 91, to make room for Jeff King at 3rd and bring in some pitching help) which give Doug Drabek plenty of reason to stick around.
What happens in the June draft is most interesting. Seattle, holding the #1 pick, like their young shortstop, so they draft the highly touted pitcher, Darren Dreifort and Alex Rodriguez gets scoped up by the Dodgers. Does a major market like LA really lose A-Rod to Texas? A-Rod takes over the starting job for the Dodgers in 96, in a lineup that features Mike Piazza, Eric Karros, Delino Deshields and Raul Mondesi. And the 96 Dodgers probably make the World Series, and they wouldn’t be facing the Yankees, but very possibly, the Baltimore Orioles.
From 91-2008 the following teams actually won World Series titles (in order):
The Twins, Blue Jays *2, (strike year), Braves, Yankees, Marlins, Yankees *3, Diamond Backs, Angels, Marlins, Red Sox, White Sox, Cardinals, Red Sox, Phillies.
All that is erased if Seattle passes on Ken Griffey Jr. In 1992 the Mariners were purchased by the chairman of Nintendo, as they were also thought to be a young promising team, with perhaps the most marketable star in the game. Take Griffey away, and with struggling attendance, a new owner may have moved them to a city like Tampa Bay. A threat made by their owner in the late 80’s and early 90’s before he sold the team.
So if there’s a team already in Tampa Bay, what city would have been picked for expansion in 1998 (when the Tampa Bay we know, got the Rays) Other cities that were considered were Buffalo, Mexico City, Nashville, Washington DC, Monterrey, Vancouver, Orlando and a couple of others. I’m guessing that DC would have won the Rays franchise. Undoubtedly, Seattle would have been on the list after losing the Mariners.
If DC were selected, than were would the Expos (now Nationals) relocated to 2005. Most likely one of the cities that applied for a team in 1998 get the Expos, and give them a name that’s better than “Nationals” and they probably even spell it correctly on all their jerseys. This really may be something I need to quit my job over and right a book about. Wonder if the wife will give me the green light? Wonder if more than eight people would be interested anyway? Guessing I’ve lost most of you already, but thanks for trying!
August 18, 2009
Favre is So Old....
How old is Brett Favre? Here are some players from the same draft (1991) as Favre:
Russell Maryland (retired after 2000)
Herman Moore (retired after 2002)
Dan McGwire (brother of Mark, gone since ’95)
Todd Marinovich (retired since 1992)
Eric “sleeping with” Bieniemy (retired 1999)
Rocket Ismail (retired after 2001)
And some interesting (to me) facts about 1991:
Dan Marino was 30 years old. Joe Montana was still on the 49ers. The Bills had just lost their second Super Bowl. The Rams and Raiders played in LA, Houston had the Oilers. Baltimore didn’t have a team and Cleveland had the Browns, before they moved away. The Colts went 1-15. Tony Dungy was the defensive backs coach in Kansas City.
In basketball, Michael Jordan won his first title. He hadn’t retired even once, yet. Magic Johnson was still playing, and he’s 50 now. Shaq was 19 years old, and a junior at LSU. Duke beat Kansas for the National Championship; it was Coach K’s first title.
Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa had a combined 353 career home runs. Just 18% of the home runs they’d hit, fueled by whatever they were on at the time.
You and I didn’t Google, email, text, blog, surf the net, DVR or own DVDs. No one had CD players in their cars, and gas was $1.14 per gallon. Leonardo DiCaprio was on “Growing Pains.” Silence of the Lambs won Best Picture. Megan Fox was 5 years old, and Miley Cyrus wasn’t born yet. Michael Bolton won a Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Performance, “male.” "Rosanne" was the top rated sitcom, and "Full House" was #7.
Russell Maryland (retired after 2000)
Herman Moore (retired after 2002)
Dan McGwire (brother of Mark, gone since ’95)
Todd Marinovich (retired since 1992)
Eric “sleeping with” Bieniemy (retired 1999)
Rocket Ismail (retired after 2001)
And some interesting (to me) facts about 1991:
Dan Marino was 30 years old. Joe Montana was still on the 49ers. The Bills had just lost their second Super Bowl. The Rams and Raiders played in LA, Houston had the Oilers. Baltimore didn’t have a team and Cleveland had the Browns, before they moved away. The Colts went 1-15. Tony Dungy was the defensive backs coach in Kansas City.
In basketball, Michael Jordan won his first title. He hadn’t retired even once, yet. Magic Johnson was still playing, and he’s 50 now. Shaq was 19 years old, and a junior at LSU. Duke beat Kansas for the National Championship; it was Coach K’s first title.
Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa had a combined 353 career home runs. Just 18% of the home runs they’d hit, fueled by whatever they were on at the time.
You and I didn’t Google, email, text, blog, surf the net, DVR or own DVDs. No one had CD players in their cars, and gas was $1.14 per gallon. Leonardo DiCaprio was on “Growing Pains.” Silence of the Lambs won Best Picture. Megan Fox was 5 years old, and Miley Cyrus wasn’t born yet. Michael Bolton won a Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Performance, “male.” "Rosanne" was the top rated sitcom, and "Full House" was #7.
I'm Scared Hirpless
Okay, so legally I think I understand that in this country of ours, we have the right to “bear arms.” (putting a pin in the definition of amendment) I wouldn’t call it a God given right, you know, that whole debate on if there is a God or not, not to mention that thou shalt not kill thing. So Americans, legally speaking, have the right to have guns, got it. But I have issue with these people who are bringing their guns with them to protest President Obama.
This isn’t just a statement they’re making, it’s a threat. I guess a threat is a statement, but you know what I’m saying. If I’m attending a rally of like minded people, I really don’t think I should feel the need to protect myself. Of course, if those people are off the reservation, as many of these protesters are, maybe I would.
I see two statements here:
1. It’s our right to have these here guns, tell us we can’t just cause that Negro President is in the vicinity, and we is gonna start a revolution.
2. Watch it Obama, cause we have guns.
The first is the kind of point our 7 year old would make, to take something very literal and throw it back at us. She’s way too smart for our own good. But anyone with even a little common sense knows this is just inviting someone to take a shot at the President. How can the Secret Service protect him when they know so many people have guns, and disagree pretty strongly with the guy? Flip the script on them; surround them with a few hundred black men and some American Muslims, dressed in their traditional gear, but with assault rifles hanging on their shoulders. Let’s see if they get nervous, or just appreciate some fellow American’s exercising their rights.
There was a man at a protest outside of an Obama speech in Phoenix yesterday, and he had an AR-15 on his shoulder. Click that link, and look at that friggin’ thing. That isn’t for hunting, and that isn’t for protecting ones home. That’s made for killing. Of course that man didn’t want to be identified, but told the Arizona Republic, “In Arizona, I still have some rights.” Rights, check. And the balls to go on record? Oh sorry, negative ghost rider.
Agree with the President, or disagree with the guy and his policies. Vote that way, and voice your opinion. That’s all awesome. But I know that because I’ve mentioned the President and some weapons on this post, the Secret Service will most likely read this at some point, just to gauge what kind of threat I may be. (Hey guys, I’m really no threat at all. I’m just bloggin’ here.) I’m utilizing my right to free speech and eight or nine people may even read it, but I’m not threatening the lives of anyone.
I get that I probably know less about the law than I do about gardening, and I don’t know jack about that. But even Freedom of Speech has limitations, like you can’t yell “fire” in crowd for shits and giggles. There’s Freedom of Religion, but employers can’t base employment on affiliation. Can’t there be something that prevents citizens from carrying guns when they’re anywhere near the President? It’s insane, there’s no way that it isn’t meant as a threat. Like when the Kyd has a boy come pick her up for a date in 10 years, and I’m in the kitchen sharpening knives and unloading a bag from the hardware store that just happen to contain duct tape, a shovel, rope, a mask and a giant trash bag. Damn straight I’ll be sending a message to that little shit.
This country seriously scares the shit out of me. Obama’s going to screw this country up? If you’ve been paying attention, we’ve been screwed up for years. Pretty much since the start, and even if I prefer this place, that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved. If there was some glory days that I’m not aware of, someone please point that era out for me.
I love, that if we even discuss changing anything, everyone wants to point to the Bill of Rights. Like how so many of us find God, or ask the big guy for help, only when it suits us.
***
And now its lesson time boys and girls:
a•mend•ment
1. The act of changing for the better; improvement:
2. A correction or alteration, as in a manuscript.
3. a. The process of formally altering or adding to a document or record.
b. A statement of such an alteration or addition:
4. A material, such as organic matter or sand, mixed into soil to improve growing conditions.
Our key words and phrases here are:
Changing for the better, improvement, correction or alteration, and adding.
This isn’t just a statement they’re making, it’s a threat. I guess a threat is a statement, but you know what I’m saying. If I’m attending a rally of like minded people, I really don’t think I should feel the need to protect myself. Of course, if those people are off the reservation, as many of these protesters are, maybe I would.
I see two statements here:
1. It’s our right to have these here guns, tell us we can’t just cause that Negro President is in the vicinity, and we is gonna start a revolution.
2. Watch it Obama, cause we have guns.
The first is the kind of point our 7 year old would make, to take something very literal and throw it back at us. She’s way too smart for our own good. But anyone with even a little common sense knows this is just inviting someone to take a shot at the President. How can the Secret Service protect him when they know so many people have guns, and disagree pretty strongly with the guy? Flip the script on them; surround them with a few hundred black men and some American Muslims, dressed in their traditional gear, but with assault rifles hanging on their shoulders. Let’s see if they get nervous, or just appreciate some fellow American’s exercising their rights.
There was a man at a protest outside of an Obama speech in Phoenix yesterday, and he had an AR-15 on his shoulder. Click that link, and look at that friggin’ thing. That isn’t for hunting, and that isn’t for protecting ones home. That’s made for killing. Of course that man didn’t want to be identified, but told the Arizona Republic, “In Arizona, I still have some rights.” Rights, check. And the balls to go on record? Oh sorry, negative ghost rider.
Agree with the President, or disagree with the guy and his policies. Vote that way, and voice your opinion. That’s all awesome. But I know that because I’ve mentioned the President and some weapons on this post, the Secret Service will most likely read this at some point, just to gauge what kind of threat I may be. (Hey guys, I’m really no threat at all. I’m just bloggin’ here.) I’m utilizing my right to free speech and eight or nine people may even read it, but I’m not threatening the lives of anyone.
I get that I probably know less about the law than I do about gardening, and I don’t know jack about that. But even Freedom of Speech has limitations, like you can’t yell “fire” in crowd for shits and giggles. There’s Freedom of Religion, but employers can’t base employment on affiliation. Can’t there be something that prevents citizens from carrying guns when they’re anywhere near the President? It’s insane, there’s no way that it isn’t meant as a threat. Like when the Kyd has a boy come pick her up for a date in 10 years, and I’m in the kitchen sharpening knives and unloading a bag from the hardware store that just happen to contain duct tape, a shovel, rope, a mask and a giant trash bag. Damn straight I’ll be sending a message to that little shit.
This country seriously scares the shit out of me. Obama’s going to screw this country up? If you’ve been paying attention, we’ve been screwed up for years. Pretty much since the start, and even if I prefer this place, that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved. If there was some glory days that I’m not aware of, someone please point that era out for me.
I love, that if we even discuss changing anything, everyone wants to point to the Bill of Rights. Like how so many of us find God, or ask the big guy for help, only when it suits us.
***
And now its lesson time boys and girls:
a•mend•ment
1. The act of changing for the better; improvement:
2. A correction or alteration, as in a manuscript.
3. a. The process of formally altering or adding to a document or record.
b. A statement of such an alteration or addition:
4. A material, such as organic matter or sand, mixed into soil to improve growing conditions.
Our key words and phrases here are:
Changing for the better, improvement, correction or alteration, and adding.
August 12, 2009
The Line is now a Dot
There was really zero chance that I wouldn’t rant about Slutty Cyrus after her latest stunt. Rush Limbaugh would give President Obama a pass for calling someone a “cracker” before I could keep my mouth and/or blog silent on this. First, let me say that, I’m really not THAT old fashioned, and I’m really not all that conservative. What I have is lines, not those kinds of lines. These lines aren’t always easy to define, but I always know when the line has been crossed. Maybe that’s not fair, but the Kyd will have a damn good idea of where that line is. She’ll probably ask, just so she can pole vault over it. And that’s fine, as long as a pole vault is the only pole involved.
So Ms. Cyrus performed at the Teen Choice Awards this past weekend, one of 83 award shows I could literally give a shit about. Until now that is. Miley performed her new song, and during her “routine” she did a few moves with the assistance of a pole. This girl is 16 friggin’ years old, and she’s dancing on a pole. As the Sports Guy says, “Rule No. 1 of having a daughter: Keep her off the pole.”
He’s absolutely right, and Billy Ray, you failed your daughter before she could even vote, hell, you probably before she learned to read. I’m sure there’s plenty of 16 year old girls who think that’s “sexy.” These girls have been watching Britney Spears (who Cyrus called her “my hero” since they were six years old, and plenty of rap videos that feature pole dancers, and they see how 16 year old boys react. So naturally, they feel it’ll impress the boys. Here’s a lesson for the Kyd, if there’s something you can do to impress a 16 year old boy, there’s definitely a line there. Impressing 16 year old boys is as intelligent as pointing a red laser at a cop or trying to ignite your farts.
So I don’t think she’s unique for wanting to pull off being a slut, girls have been doing it since the first cavewoman went cave hopping. But the fact that both her father (first and foremost) and the producers of a show geared only to teens, and now child pornographers, someone page Chris Hansen (he seems like a guy that still wears a pager) would allow such antics.
Wait, there’s more! If you order in the next 20 minutes you can also hear my thoughts on how these “ladies” dressed. I didn’t watch it last night, but there couldn’t be a better time for Kimberly-Clark to target teenage boys with some Kleenex ads. I can’t imagine any parents who would be okay with their daughters dressing like this. Not at any age. Pretty sure my father-in-law wouldn’t look at my better half with pride in his eyes, if she dressed like that. I would, but I’m talking about parents here.
There’s a great joke by Dave Chappelle that goes like this:
"The girl says, 'Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!' Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is SHIT IS CONFUSING! It just is.
Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, 'Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!' 'OH-H0H!!! Just because I'm DRESSED this way does not make me a police officer!'
All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform."
I’ve read that last year, Miley Cyrus earned $25 million, and if the average manager of a singer gets 15-20%, so her manager earned somewhere between $3.75 and $6.25 million. Just so happens that Billy Ray is his daughter’s manager. Tell me again how this isn’t pimping his daughter? Before I heard anything about her pole position, there was something online about a joke by Dane Cook. And for the record, that guy just isn’t funny. But he poked fun at another Disney cash cow, Vanessa Hudgens, for taking some nekkid pictures that leaked out. The joke, still, wasn’t funny, nor really appropriate for the setting. And that’s how you know exactly how big of a cluster fuck this whole thing is. When Dane Cook is making a good point, you’ve reached new levels of wrong.
Would it be asking too much for Senate to ignore steroids in baseball, and spend some time on how Disney is exploiting children at a Catholic Church like rate?
So Ms. Cyrus performed at the Teen Choice Awards this past weekend, one of 83 award shows I could literally give a shit about. Until now that is. Miley performed her new song, and during her “routine” she did a few moves with the assistance of a pole. This girl is 16 friggin’ years old, and she’s dancing on a pole. As the Sports Guy says, “Rule No. 1 of having a daughter: Keep her off the pole.”
He’s absolutely right, and Billy Ray, you failed your daughter before she could even vote, hell, you probably before she learned to read. I’m sure there’s plenty of 16 year old girls who think that’s “sexy.” These girls have been watching Britney Spears (who Cyrus called her “my hero” since they were six years old, and plenty of rap videos that feature pole dancers, and they see how 16 year old boys react. So naturally, they feel it’ll impress the boys. Here’s a lesson for the Kyd, if there’s something you can do to impress a 16 year old boy, there’s definitely a line there. Impressing 16 year old boys is as intelligent as pointing a red laser at a cop or trying to ignite your farts.
So I don’t think she’s unique for wanting to pull off being a slut, girls have been doing it since the first cavewoman went cave hopping. But the fact that both her father (first and foremost) and the producers of a show geared only to teens, and now child pornographers, someone page Chris Hansen (he seems like a guy that still wears a pager) would allow such antics.
Wait, there’s more! If you order in the next 20 minutes you can also hear my thoughts on how these “ladies” dressed. I didn’t watch it last night, but there couldn’t be a better time for Kimberly-Clark to target teenage boys with some Kleenex ads. I can’t imagine any parents who would be okay with their daughters dressing like this. Not at any age. Pretty sure my father-in-law wouldn’t look at my better half with pride in his eyes, if she dressed like that. I would, but I’m talking about parents here.
There’s a great joke by Dave Chappelle that goes like this:
"The girl says, 'Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!' Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is SHIT IS CONFUSING! It just is.
Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, 'Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!' 'OH-H0H!!! Just because I'm DRESSED this way does not make me a police officer!'
All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform."
I’ve read that last year, Miley Cyrus earned $25 million, and if the average manager of a singer gets 15-20%, so her manager earned somewhere between $3.75 and $6.25 million. Just so happens that Billy Ray is his daughter’s manager. Tell me again how this isn’t pimping his daughter? Before I heard anything about her pole position, there was something online about a joke by Dane Cook. And for the record, that guy just isn’t funny. But he poked fun at another Disney cash cow, Vanessa Hudgens, for taking some nekkid pictures that leaked out. The joke, still, wasn’t funny, nor really appropriate for the setting. And that’s how you know exactly how big of a cluster fuck this whole thing is. When Dane Cook is making a good point, you’ve reached new levels of wrong.
Would it be asking too much for Senate to ignore steroids in baseball, and spend some time on how Disney is exploiting children at a Catholic Church like rate?
July 30, 2009
Hirpality TV
This is where I sound like an old fuddy duddy, and I really don’t even care. Earlier this week I saw a Facebook update where a friend said he was watching the “Fat-chelor” (he swears it’s not his term, and I believe him). Now I’m pretty much in the mind set that “The Bachelor” is awful television, and here it is, bad for our kids. Now we have the, well, “super sized” version with “More to Love.”
This is the last thing our kids, especially the girls, need to see. It was bad enough for their self-image, when all they saw was pretty (see: skinny) girls acting like douches to get the affection of some douche bag, because he had the right bone structure. Ah, but they were all there for the “right reasons” (I’m aiming to set a personal record for quotation mark usage in one post). And we know the producers care, because they’re now giving us a show that the heavier girls can watch. The highlights tell me this, and that these women are just so damn proud of their bodies, and want someone to love them just the way they are.
If these producers had a soul, there’d only be one show. Not a skinny show and a fat show. What really pisses me off about this, is only one title references the body types of the contestants. Reminds me of when we call a great Spike Lee movie a great “black” movie. When you have two groups of women, and we refer to one group as just women, and the other as plus size or “More to Love” you aren’t doing any of them any favors, especially the viewers at home. “The Bachelorette” is a normal, or what should be normal, woman. “More to Love” is women who are different, because why? They don’t barf after every meal.
As an uncle to girls, this sort of thing really pissed me off. Now that I’m helping raise a girl, and I hear more about how self conscious girls are at such early ages, it pretty much makes me want to throw a shoe at my TV. Wait, I don’t mean that, sorry TV. I love you, you know this.
At the same time, we can’t just blame the producers. It’s the public that eats this shit up. But what came first, the chicken or the shit? This isn’t good for young boys either, who catch mommy and daddy watching these shows. Movies are bad enough, with the whole portraying of what they want us to consider beautiful. But this is “reality” television, so its message is allegedly real. And that’s bullshit. The Kyd doesn’t need the television getting in her head, it’s already tough enough just finding friends to sit with in the cafeteria on the first day of second grade.
This is the last thing our kids, especially the girls, need to see. It was bad enough for their self-image, when all they saw was pretty (see: skinny) girls acting like douches to get the affection of some douche bag, because he had the right bone structure. Ah, but they were all there for the “right reasons” (I’m aiming to set a personal record for quotation mark usage in one post). And we know the producers care, because they’re now giving us a show that the heavier girls can watch. The highlights tell me this, and that these women are just so damn proud of their bodies, and want someone to love them just the way they are.
If these producers had a soul, there’d only be one show. Not a skinny show and a fat show. What really pisses me off about this, is only one title references the body types of the contestants. Reminds me of when we call a great Spike Lee movie a great “black” movie. When you have two groups of women, and we refer to one group as just women, and the other as plus size or “More to Love” you aren’t doing any of them any favors, especially the viewers at home. “The Bachelorette” is a normal, or what should be normal, woman. “More to Love” is women who are different, because why? They don’t barf after every meal.
As an uncle to girls, this sort of thing really pissed me off. Now that I’m helping raise a girl, and I hear more about how self conscious girls are at such early ages, it pretty much makes me want to throw a shoe at my TV. Wait, I don’t mean that, sorry TV. I love you, you know this.
At the same time, we can’t just blame the producers. It’s the public that eats this shit up. But what came first, the chicken or the shit? This isn’t good for young boys either, who catch mommy and daddy watching these shows. Movies are bad enough, with the whole portraying of what they want us to consider beautiful. But this is “reality” television, so its message is allegedly real. And that’s bullshit. The Kyd doesn’t need the television getting in her head, it’s already tough enough just finding friends to sit with in the cafeteria on the first day of second grade.
July 29, 2009
Time Travel
My cousin sent me a story this morning, about a chance meeting with former Tiger and Reds manager, Sparky Anderson. He and his brother grew up in Detroit as Tiger fans, and his brother (along with the movie Mask) were really the catalyst behind my baseball card collection, which I still have, although I think the idea of it paying for my college might have missed its target. Maybe one day the Kyd will want them, or her (just shit my pants) son (my grandson) will. Please hold, I’m going to throw up, I’ll be right back.
Anyway, reading his email about the conversation he had with one of his hero’s got me to thinking about my childhood heroes. I was pretty lucky as a kid, and met more than a few ball players. When I was 11, some friends and I were allowed to skip Hebrew School to go to a baseball card store in Danbury Connecticut and meet Darryl Strawberry. This is back when Darryl was the man, a World Champion, a lock for the Hall of Fame and destined for at least joining the 500 HR club. At 11, this was one of the highlights of my young life. Later that year, after a Met game, we were able to meet, and get an autograph from the Met skipper, Davey Johnson. And a few months after that, we went to a book signing by Duke Snider. Who actually wasn’t a hero, but a Hall of Famer and a class act.
We moved to Kansas when I was 12, and within just a few months, we met Danny Tartabull at a local grocery store. My buddy across the street was the nephew of an Oakland A’s catcher, who also lived in the neighborhood. I saw a bus load of A’s go to his house one afternoon, including Rickey Henderson, Dennis Eckersley and Dave Stewart, and even though I didn’t meet them, I was pissing myself to just see them in my neighborhood. And then we found out where to stand after games, to meet ball players as they went to their cars, or as visiting players got on their bus.
Fast forward to 1995, and the strike has come to an end. Word spread that the Cleveland Indians were staying in the same hotel that my Bar Mitzvah reception was held, so a friend and I headed right over. I met Eddie Murray (questioned him on the Mets, and he said they’d never win, because the exec’s had no clue) Carlos Baerga, Jim Thome, Kenny Lofton and Manny Ramirez. I talked to Dave Winfield and Mark Clark, and saw Tony Pena getting in an elevator with two young ladies. At the Royals game the night before, we saw Albert Belle (world class Asshole) respond to a mother who was asking for an autograph for her son, that if she got in his limo they “could discuss it.”
I was no longer a kid, and I was seeing these guys for what they really are for the first time. A friend in college met Paul Pierce, who told her “I own this campus, I can get my D**k sucked anytime.” You stay classy, Paul. Later I saw Tony Gonzalez and Warren Moon in a local bar, surrounded by women, and it was no secret that Moon was married. I even was able to attend the wedding reception for a well compensated, often injured, Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher. See, I’ve been pretty damn lucky. But to have the opportunity, to go back to when I didn’t know them as assholes, man, that just sounds too good to pass up. To actually, even if just for a day, reclaim some of that innocence, is priceless, even when done so vicariously.
But this morning I read this email from my cousin, who is no stranger to rubbing elbows with familiar names and faces, and the picture of him and Sparky looked like it was just a picture of a 12 year old and one of his heroes. So I’m wondering, and day dreaming, about whom from my childhood, would have that effect on me.
There’s always Dwight Gooden. Put his well covered troubles aside, and even though I can’t say his name without wondering “what if,” I know just how clammy my hands would get. Just how dry my mouth would get, hell, just typing about it, I am starting to feel all those things. Mike Tyson and Lawrence Taylor also make my list, but again, there’s so much drama connected with those guys. I really wonder if I’d have such an innocent moment of reliving my childhood if I came face to face with them, or if I’d be filled with the disappointment of what could have been.
Magic Johnson, he absolutely would make me feel 12 again. Sadly, the 12 year old Hirp wasn’t much shorter than the 32 year old is. But I’d have my hair again, so there’s that. I think Billy Joel, Mookie Wilson, Wally Backman, and Roger McDowell would bring out the 12 year old me. And talking about “bringing out the kid in me” it’s hard to pass up on the obvious Michael Jackson jokes. But this is bigger than that; I hate myself for even thinking those jokes.
So I must say thanks to my cuz, for sharing his story and pictures, and getting me to spend some time thinking about the 12 year old version of me.
Anyway, reading his email about the conversation he had with one of his hero’s got me to thinking about my childhood heroes. I was pretty lucky as a kid, and met more than a few ball players. When I was 11, some friends and I were allowed to skip Hebrew School to go to a baseball card store in Danbury Connecticut and meet Darryl Strawberry. This is back when Darryl was the man, a World Champion, a lock for the Hall of Fame and destined for at least joining the 500 HR club. At 11, this was one of the highlights of my young life. Later that year, after a Met game, we were able to meet, and get an autograph from the Met skipper, Davey Johnson. And a few months after that, we went to a book signing by Duke Snider. Who actually wasn’t a hero, but a Hall of Famer and a class act.
We moved to Kansas when I was 12, and within just a few months, we met Danny Tartabull at a local grocery store. My buddy across the street was the nephew of an Oakland A’s catcher, who also lived in the neighborhood. I saw a bus load of A’s go to his house one afternoon, including Rickey Henderson, Dennis Eckersley and Dave Stewart, and even though I didn’t meet them, I was pissing myself to just see them in my neighborhood. And then we found out where to stand after games, to meet ball players as they went to their cars, or as visiting players got on their bus.
Fast forward to 1995, and the strike has come to an end. Word spread that the Cleveland Indians were staying in the same hotel that my Bar Mitzvah reception was held, so a friend and I headed right over. I met Eddie Murray (questioned him on the Mets, and he said they’d never win, because the exec’s had no clue) Carlos Baerga, Jim Thome, Kenny Lofton and Manny Ramirez. I talked to Dave Winfield and Mark Clark, and saw Tony Pena getting in an elevator with two young ladies. At the Royals game the night before, we saw Albert Belle (world class Asshole) respond to a mother who was asking for an autograph for her son, that if she got in his limo they “could discuss it.”
I was no longer a kid, and I was seeing these guys for what they really are for the first time. A friend in college met Paul Pierce, who told her “I own this campus, I can get my D**k sucked anytime.” You stay classy, Paul. Later I saw Tony Gonzalez and Warren Moon in a local bar, surrounded by women, and it was no secret that Moon was married. I even was able to attend the wedding reception for a well compensated, often injured, Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher. See, I’ve been pretty damn lucky. But to have the opportunity, to go back to when I didn’t know them as assholes, man, that just sounds too good to pass up. To actually, even if just for a day, reclaim some of that innocence, is priceless, even when done so vicariously.
But this morning I read this email from my cousin, who is no stranger to rubbing elbows with familiar names and faces, and the picture of him and Sparky looked like it was just a picture of a 12 year old and one of his heroes. So I’m wondering, and day dreaming, about whom from my childhood, would have that effect on me.
There’s always Dwight Gooden. Put his well covered troubles aside, and even though I can’t say his name without wondering “what if,” I know just how clammy my hands would get. Just how dry my mouth would get, hell, just typing about it, I am starting to feel all those things. Mike Tyson and Lawrence Taylor also make my list, but again, there’s so much drama connected with those guys. I really wonder if I’d have such an innocent moment of reliving my childhood if I came face to face with them, or if I’d be filled with the disappointment of what could have been.
Magic Johnson, he absolutely would make me feel 12 again. Sadly, the 12 year old Hirp wasn’t much shorter than the 32 year old is. But I’d have my hair again, so there’s that. I think Billy Joel, Mookie Wilson, Wally Backman, and Roger McDowell would bring out the 12 year old me. And talking about “bringing out the kid in me” it’s hard to pass up on the obvious Michael Jackson jokes. But this is bigger than that; I hate myself for even thinking those jokes.
So I must say thanks to my cuz, for sharing his story and pictures, and getting me to spend some time thinking about the 12 year old version of me.
July 27, 2009
Dream Teams
I was probably eight, or maybe nine, the first time I sat down with a pen and a piece of paper and drafted up my “Dream Team.” Years before I even knew what fantasy sports were, let alone started to play. Lately I’ve found myself bouncing ideas of off a few friends for a brilliant idea we had some ten years ago, and continue to revisit every few years. But the past few days I’ve had a different team in mind.
This time I’m not thinking of how Tony Gwynn and Eric Davis would share the outfield with Darryl Strawberry. I’m thinking more about movies. Picking a favorite writer, director and even a few actors to work on one movie, without even considering what the story might be about.
Originally, my “A” team included Aaron Sorkin and Steven Soderbergh. Then I read that Sorkin had signed on to help out with Soderbergh’s Moneyball. So I scratched that idea, and here are some teams I’d like to see:
Writer: Stephen Gaghan (Traffic, Syriana)
Director: Peter Berg (The Kingdom, Friday Night Lights)
Actor: Denzel Washington
Writer: Scott Frank (Out of Sight, Get Shorty)
Director: Doug Liman (Bourne Identiy, Swingers, Mr. and Mrs Smith)
Actor: Will Smith
Writer: Nicholas Pileggi (Goodfellas, Casino)
Director: Ben Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
Actor: Robert Downey Jr.
Writer: Kenneth Lonegran (You Can Count On Me, Analyze This)
Director: Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Made)
Actor: Terrence Howard
This time I’m not thinking of how Tony Gwynn and Eric Davis would share the outfield with Darryl Strawberry. I’m thinking more about movies. Picking a favorite writer, director and even a few actors to work on one movie, without even considering what the story might be about.
Originally, my “A” team included Aaron Sorkin and Steven Soderbergh. Then I read that Sorkin had signed on to help out with Soderbergh’s Moneyball. So I scratched that idea, and here are some teams I’d like to see:
Writer: Stephen Gaghan (Traffic, Syriana)
Director: Peter Berg (The Kingdom, Friday Night Lights)
Actor: Denzel Washington
Writer: Scott Frank (Out of Sight, Get Shorty)
Director: Doug Liman (Bourne Identiy, Swingers, Mr. and Mrs Smith)
Actor: Will Smith
Writer: Nicholas Pileggi (Goodfellas, Casino)
Director: Ben Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
Actor: Robert Downey Jr.
Writer: Kenneth Lonegran (You Can Count On Me, Analyze This)
Director: Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Made)
Actor: Terrence Howard
July 23, 2009
KU, Obama and Links. Oh my
Last weekend some old friends came in to town, and we had a great time. Saturday afternoon we all went up to Lawrence, which was the Kyd’s first trip to Larry town. First of all, I’ve never seen a kid do so well when hanging out with only grown ups. She did it in Mexico, and she hit another Home Run last weekend. It’s remarkable to see her really connect with our friends, and carry on real conversations. But aside from getting a little bored by our trip down memory lane, she really enjoyed Lawrence. She probably didn’t love us telling her about “when you come here” as much as we enjoyed saying it. But really, she better not ever dance on a bar on Mass or live in one of those sorority houses.
I was 12, when I went to visit my cousin at UCLA, and I fell in love with that school right then. The Kyd has had a soft spot in her heard for KU, for at least as long as I’ve been around, and probably longer since she’s got such a great and intelligent mother. I really hope that she looks back on that day trip and smiles, for years to come. Now I have to figure out how we’d ever afford for her to attend KU. Brilliant Kyd, wonder if we can just assume she’ll get a full ride scholarship.
***
So President Obama held a press conference on health reform last night, and I watched some of it. Bad American, I know, sue me. Here’s what drives me nuts (among 453,248 other items). Those Americans who are against doing anything that another country manages to do successfully. It’s “socialist” or “fascism”. Puh-lease. Even if the idea is borrowed from a Socialist Government, it doesn’t make the idea a bad one. Tinkering with the way we do things is also how we make progress. I don’t know anyone who is happy with how things are these days, and I’ve read plenty of comments from people who want to go “back to when…” And on occasion, a step back is actually progress. But to just run back to “then” because the unknown is scary, that’s just straight up cowardly. And to sound all patriotic, for just a second, that isn’t what our fore (or in some cases, four) fathers had in mind.
We were watching a “Mythbusters” last week, in which they were answering the challenges of all the conspiracy theorists, who believe we never made it to the Moon 40 years ago. They debunked all those claims by the way, but it got my wife and I talking. We haven’t done anything like that since. Even if there’s no big pay day in doing it again, we should go back to the moon. Let’s inspire the kids, or the next generation, and show them we’re a people that can really get some amazing shit done. Some times we do it just ‘cause we can, but at least they’ll learn that (pause for effect) Yes We Can.
***
This is one disgusting story: http://tinyurl.com/m8k5wz Sisters married the same guy, like, at the same time. No, really. I mean it. Yep, you just threw up in your mouth a little too, sorry. Might be time we consider selling off Utah to help with the National Debt.
Here is one of my new, daily visit required, favorite sites: http://mikerevolution.posterous.com/
I was 12, when I went to visit my cousin at UCLA, and I fell in love with that school right then. The Kyd has had a soft spot in her heard for KU, for at least as long as I’ve been around, and probably longer since she’s got such a great and intelligent mother. I really hope that she looks back on that day trip and smiles, for years to come. Now I have to figure out how we’d ever afford for her to attend KU. Brilliant Kyd, wonder if we can just assume she’ll get a full ride scholarship.
***
So President Obama held a press conference on health reform last night, and I watched some of it. Bad American, I know, sue me. Here’s what drives me nuts (among 453,248 other items). Those Americans who are against doing anything that another country manages to do successfully. It’s “socialist” or “fascism”. Puh-lease. Even if the idea is borrowed from a Socialist Government, it doesn’t make the idea a bad one. Tinkering with the way we do things is also how we make progress. I don’t know anyone who is happy with how things are these days, and I’ve read plenty of comments from people who want to go “back to when…” And on occasion, a step back is actually progress. But to just run back to “then” because the unknown is scary, that’s just straight up cowardly. And to sound all patriotic, for just a second, that isn’t what our fore (or in some cases, four) fathers had in mind.
We were watching a “Mythbusters” last week, in which they were answering the challenges of all the conspiracy theorists, who believe we never made it to the Moon 40 years ago. They debunked all those claims by the way, but it got my wife and I talking. We haven’t done anything like that since. Even if there’s no big pay day in doing it again, we should go back to the moon. Let’s inspire the kids, or the next generation, and show them we’re a people that can really get some amazing shit done. Some times we do it just ‘cause we can, but at least they’ll learn that (pause for effect) Yes We Can.
***
This is one disgusting story: http://tinyurl.com/m8k5wz Sisters married the same guy, like, at the same time. No, really. I mean it. Yep, you just threw up in your mouth a little too, sorry. Might be time we consider selling off Utah to help with the National Debt.
Here is one of my new, daily visit required, favorite sites: http://mikerevolution.posterous.com/
July 09, 2009
In McCauley Hirp Trust
I, logically speaking, understand why so many people enjoy riding motorcycles. Really, I get it on some level, but that doesn’t mean I agree with it or can’t mock it. Similar to the way that you can understand why I’m mocking it, but still think I’m a jackass. Out on the open road, wind in your face, bugs in your teeth, unable to hear anything with the howling wind. I can see appeal in that, very little, but it’s still something.
So what’s my beef with this activity, that’s enjoyed by millions of Americans? Let’s start hear, and to quote my man Neil McCauley in Heat, “he knew the risks, he didn’t have to be there.” That’s what I think about when I hear about motorcycle accidents. Cold? Yep, very. Makes me a pretty big asshole, I realize that. And its not at all that I’m hoping they get hurt, although I’ve thought I see some dumbass weaving through traffic at twice the speed of everyone else. But that’s what I think when I see the billboards or bumper stickers that warn us that motorcycles are out there.
And you know what else? I really don’t think that makes me very unique. When you see that tiny little two seater, Fortwo, you can’t help but think about how anyone driving one of those is screwed if they get in an accident. It’d still be tragic, but if/when that happens, it’s really not all that shocking. So if you’re riding a motorcycle, and something happens, as it recently did with a co-worker of mine and my sister-in-law years ago, it’s still tragic. But as McCauley said, “it rains, you get wet.”
Another thing that bothers me and this is probably more of the Harley Davidson riders, but the need to dress, head to toe, in apparel that advertises the brand of your bike. I get it, you’re riding one and I can see that, so I’m pretty sure you’re a fan of the brand. The shirt, hat, chaps, vest, jacket and I assume your Harley watch and wallet are just overkill. This is no different than a grown man wearing a Chiefs hat, jersey (probably tucked in), zubuz, visor, boxers and digital watch. Yeah, that’s overkill, and frankly, a little sad.
Actually, it is a little different than those sport geeks, because part of the lure, from what I understand, to the motorcycle enthusiast is the life style. There seems to be something of an outlaw or anti-establishment feel to Harley’s. That comes from the fact that, even if you see a whole group together, they’re all pretty much going alone. And well, I watch a lot of “Gangland” and I see stories on the Hell’s Angels, Bandidos, Mongols, Warlocks or Sons of Silence. So I don’t get how someone trying to feel the freedom that outlaws enjoy, and identify with something anti-establishment can become such a walking billboard. Being a rebel and so obviously brand loyal reminds me of a slutty virgin.
And that brings me to my last reason. To dress like, and identify with some group of outlaws is one thing. No one gets that as well as I do, as I’m a huge fan of Mafioso anything and can’t turn of any show that has to do with gangs. But if I wear colors, like I’m a Crip, or I try to talk like John Gotti, then I’m a damn clown. Clowned by those who really are what I’d be imitating and mocked by the rest of the world for being fake and probably slightly retarded. Hey, it’s your right to ride whatever you want. And more power to you. But just as many don’t understand my affinity for the mafia or hip hop, I don’t really understand all that comes with motorcycle fanatics. Not that I need to, but hey, this is my blog and I’ll write about whatever I want. So there’s that.
***
Steve McNair, tragic story. Sorry to hear what happened, and I always liked the guy. But you’re a married guy in his late 30’s and you have kids. You’re hooking up with a 20 year old that you met at Daves and Busters, and you’re giving her an Escalade. You’re promising her a future, and telling her you’re going to divorce your wife and marry her. This doesn’t, by itself, make you a horrible person deserving of death. But remember what Neil said, “it rains, you get wet.”
My man, it’s awful that you’re gone, but if it wasn’t the girlfriend it could have been the wife. The lesson here, for all men and women is simple. Neil McCauley knows all, and don’t cheat on your spouse.
So what’s my beef with this activity, that’s enjoyed by millions of Americans? Let’s start hear, and to quote my man Neil McCauley in Heat, “he knew the risks, he didn’t have to be there.” That’s what I think about when I hear about motorcycle accidents. Cold? Yep, very. Makes me a pretty big asshole, I realize that. And its not at all that I’m hoping they get hurt, although I’ve thought I see some dumbass weaving through traffic at twice the speed of everyone else. But that’s what I think when I see the billboards or bumper stickers that warn us that motorcycles are out there.
And you know what else? I really don’t think that makes me very unique. When you see that tiny little two seater, Fortwo, you can’t help but think about how anyone driving one of those is screwed if they get in an accident. It’d still be tragic, but if/when that happens, it’s really not all that shocking. So if you’re riding a motorcycle, and something happens, as it recently did with a co-worker of mine and my sister-in-law years ago, it’s still tragic. But as McCauley said, “it rains, you get wet.”
Another thing that bothers me and this is probably more of the Harley Davidson riders, but the need to dress, head to toe, in apparel that advertises the brand of your bike. I get it, you’re riding one and I can see that, so I’m pretty sure you’re a fan of the brand. The shirt, hat, chaps, vest, jacket and I assume your Harley watch and wallet are just overkill. This is no different than a grown man wearing a Chiefs hat, jersey (probably tucked in), zubuz, visor, boxers and digital watch. Yeah, that’s overkill, and frankly, a little sad.
Actually, it is a little different than those sport geeks, because part of the lure, from what I understand, to the motorcycle enthusiast is the life style. There seems to be something of an outlaw or anti-establishment feel to Harley’s. That comes from the fact that, even if you see a whole group together, they’re all pretty much going alone. And well, I watch a lot of “Gangland” and I see stories on the Hell’s Angels, Bandidos, Mongols, Warlocks or Sons of Silence. So I don’t get how someone trying to feel the freedom that outlaws enjoy, and identify with something anti-establishment can become such a walking billboard. Being a rebel and so obviously brand loyal reminds me of a slutty virgin.
And that brings me to my last reason. To dress like, and identify with some group of outlaws is one thing. No one gets that as well as I do, as I’m a huge fan of Mafioso anything and can’t turn of any show that has to do with gangs. But if I wear colors, like I’m a Crip, or I try to talk like John Gotti, then I’m a damn clown. Clowned by those who really are what I’d be imitating and mocked by the rest of the world for being fake and probably slightly retarded. Hey, it’s your right to ride whatever you want. And more power to you. But just as many don’t understand my affinity for the mafia or hip hop, I don’t really understand all that comes with motorcycle fanatics. Not that I need to, but hey, this is my blog and I’ll write about whatever I want. So there’s that.
***
Steve McNair, tragic story. Sorry to hear what happened, and I always liked the guy. But you’re a married guy in his late 30’s and you have kids. You’re hooking up with a 20 year old that you met at Daves and Busters, and you’re giving her an Escalade. You’re promising her a future, and telling her you’re going to divorce your wife and marry her. This doesn’t, by itself, make you a horrible person deserving of death. But remember what Neil said, “it rains, you get wet.”
My man, it’s awful that you’re gone, but if it wasn’t the girlfriend it could have been the wife. The lesson here, for all men and women is simple. Neil McCauley knows all, and don’t cheat on your spouse.
July 08, 2009
Two Quickies
I had a great idea for Bad Boys 3, the one that would never get made. Dump Martain Lawrence, and that Will Smith guy, I mean really, he doesn’t bring in the box office results that I can get. Here it is: Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman. Okay it’s a ridiculous idea for a movie, but a great idea for a sketch. Come back to me “In Living Colour.”
***
I had the Michael Jackson Memorial on my computer yesterday, and let me say this, I hate how jaded and cynical I am. I mean, I love it, because it fuels this blog and 99.84% of all my jokes, that doesn’t mean they’re all funny, but 60% of the time they work every time. But really, I questioned every single aspect of that memorial. I wondered if the Jackson family resembles, in any way at all, a real family, or if they communicate through lawyers and managers only. I couldn’t help but wonder if Jermaine was going to use this to start a comeback of his own. I can guarantee we see at least a few of them on “Idol” next year, and I really expect there to be a reality show from someone in the family, that will deal with only the loss of Michael. I wondered how sincere everyone’s reaction was, did Usher really care that much? And I know damn well that Kenny Ortega brought out that kid at the end for the sole purpose of launching his career, and that’s effin’ disgusting. Or maybe I’m wrong on all of this, and everyone just feels like crap and no one has an agenda.
***
I had the Michael Jackson Memorial on my computer yesterday, and let me say this, I hate how jaded and cynical I am. I mean, I love it, because it fuels this blog and 99.84% of all my jokes, that doesn’t mean they’re all funny, but 60% of the time they work every time. But really, I questioned every single aspect of that memorial. I wondered if the Jackson family resembles, in any way at all, a real family, or if they communicate through lawyers and managers only. I couldn’t help but wonder if Jermaine was going to use this to start a comeback of his own. I can guarantee we see at least a few of them on “Idol” next year, and I really expect there to be a reality show from someone in the family, that will deal with only the loss of Michael. I wondered how sincere everyone’s reaction was, did Usher really care that much? And I know damn well that Kenny Ortega brought out that kid at the end for the sole purpose of launching his career, and that’s effin’ disgusting. Or maybe I’m wrong on all of this, and everyone just feels like crap and no one has an agenda.
Hirp Answers
My cousin recently tweeted that he thought the NBA turned into a fantasy league, so I (and hopefully you) have him to thank for this post. I couldn’t help but wonder when exactly the perception of the NBA changed. Is it really something new, or have things been this way for years, even before fantasy leagues popped up all over the country.
Was it when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar passed on a $1 million offer from the Harlem Globetrotters, and was selected by the Milwaukee Bucks in the NBA AND the New Jersey Nets in the ABA, and informed both teams that he’d sign with the highest bidder? Or was that just an anomaly? Mostly, I believe, the perception of a fantasy league stems from seeing the top players move around so frequently.
Looking back to the 70’s, the players as well as the public had to choose between the NBA and the ABA, and when the decision was made that the NBA was the league, the top players didn’t move around all that often. Dr J was a 76er, as was Moses Malone. Walt Frazier was a Knick and George Gervin a Spur. Then there’s Kareem again, who split the 70’s between Milwaukee and the Lakers. Again, it was a power move that got him to LA, when he felt the city of Milwaukee didn’t meet all his needs, and asked to be dealt to LA or New York. Was that the beginning of the Fantasy League era? I don’t believe so.
As with the 80’s we again saw the top players seldom move around during their primes. But the 80’s did lay down the tracks that lead to the Fantasy Era. Prior to the 1984-85 season they instituted a salary cap and then the lottery draft system for the 1985 draft. Which of course, we all know was famously fixed so that the New York Knicks would get Patrick Ewing. Thanks for that, Mr. Stern.
The cap and lottery worked together in creating an environment that made the Fantasy a reality. The lottery has now been around for 25 years, and the truth is this; having a better chance at picking the top college players doesn’t matter when the organization is clueless. Looking at the all-time records, the worst 10 organizations based on win-loss % are the: Grizzlies, Bobcats, Clippers, Raptors, Timerwolves, Nets, Warriors, Wizards, Cavs and Kings. Only one of those teams made the playoffs last year. Sure, they may flair up on occasion and have some good years, or sold to someone who has a clue, but over time, the bad have been bad. What does that have to do with the lottery? Over the last 10 years those 10 teams have had 22 top 5 picks. Nearly half of the top 5 picks in the league belong to a third of the leagues teams.
I’ll come back to how this has lead to a fantasy league a little later. Now it’s time to introduce another co-conspirator; the kids that came either directly from high school or before their junior year of college. First, this started a youth movement, but also a trend of unproven talent. A 22 year old that played four years of college is not only rare, he’s looked at as being old. The fact that his skill set is more defined, is also perceived as limiting, where as the younger guy has the higher ceiling, simply because less is known.
The sophomore trend began popping up in 1993 with Chris Webber, who went on to have a confusing career. He went from Rookie of the Year to drifter, to “the Man” on a Championship caliber team, to a career shortened by injury. He’s both a disappointment, because we thought he’d redefine his position, but he’s also a borderline Hall of Famer. Jason Kidd was another sophomore turned pro the next year, and has a similar career to Webber (the messy divorce in Dallas, all the talent in the world, but he’s been traded three times, twice by his prime).
Then in 1995, the shit really hit the fan. The top 4 picks had all left school after their sophomore seasons. Joe Smith (bust) Antonio McDyess (bust) Jerry Stackhouse and Rasheed Wallace. The 5th pick in that draft, Kevin Garnett, started a new trend, the direct from high school prospect. The next five drafts gave us Kobe Bryant, Tracy McGrady, Rashard Lewis, Jermaine O’Neal as well as Jonathan Bender, Al Harrington, and Korleone Young, not to mention loads more of sophomore players as well as the one and done kids.
So now we have horribly run teams taking underdeveloped players. That works in one of three ways, but two cases are more frequent. First, you get a hit and the guy works out (Kobe, KG, Antoine Walker) or you get a bust (Tim Thomas, Olowokandi, Robert Traylor) or you get someone who uses his four year contract (as part of the collective bargain agreement) as a tryout for both a bigger contract and a better team (Rip Hamilton, Mike Bibby, Vince Carter, McGrady, Stephon Marbury for examples)
Having guys who don’t go and play three or four years of college ball gives the league underdeveloped talent, who also are so used to being the man in high school and often don’t adjust well to being around so much talent. Yet, teams see where it has worked, and everyone thinks they can get lucky. The lottery has become not just a lottery for position, but talent, everyone betting a buck hoping to get rich.
So what do these poorly run organizations do, when their draft picks are mistakes? They swing for the fences in a little game that I like to call “free agency.” And you know what happens when you have a cap on how much someone can spend, when that person isn’t all that good at budget their money? You get the same thing that would happen if you sent me into Best Buy with a $5,000 gift card. Mistakes.
ESPN.com listed the top 10 worst NBA contracts ever. The list consists of:
Stephon Marbury, four years, $76 million with the Suns in ’03.
Kenyon Martin, seven years $92.5 million with the Nets as part of a sign and trade deal with Denver in ’04.
Allan Houston, seven years, $100 million with the Knicks in ’01.
Keith Van Horn (twice) but the worst was his first with the Nets, for six years and $73 million in ’99.
Vin Baker for seven years and $86 million in ’99 with the Sonics.
Jermaine O’Neal signed for seven years a whopping $126.6million in ’03 with the Pacers.
Bryan Reeves, six years and $64 million in ’97 with the Grizzlies.
Ben Wallace got four years at $60 million in ’06 by the Bulls.
Jim Mcllavine, seven years and $35 million with the Sonics in ’96.
#10 was Juwan Howard, seven years for $105 million in ’96 with the Bullets.
Remember that list of 10 awful franchises? They account for four of these 10 awful deals.
1996 is a key here by the way. What happened in 1996 was the NBA had its first major class of free agents hit the open market. The top two picks from the ’92 draft, Shaquille O’Neal and Alonzo Mourning moved to new teams. Shaq signed for seven years and $121 million and ‘Zo for $105 million. The vaults were open, as seen by the Howard and Mcllavine deals.
The freaks have made everyone’s eyes too big for their stomachs. The world saw the Lakers land Kobe Bryant, but they didn’t take notice of how they didn’t start him full time till his third year. Kevin Garnett was a part time player his rookie year, and didn’t hit his stride till he was 22, oddly enough, the same age as most players who play four years of college ball. Even Jermaine O’Neal and Tracy McGrady were brought along slowly.
In 2006 the league implemented a rule stating that a player must be at least 19 to enter the draft, thus creating the “one and done” rule. And the last three #1 draft picks have been just followed that road. And it isn’t even driven by getting that first big contract, it’s to hurry up and hit free agency as soon as possible, where the real money awaits. The league awaits King James’ free agency after this year, at the tender age of 25. Kirk Hinrich was drafted the same year, and he’ll be 29 after this season. That’s pretty much the beginning of the end for most basketball players. Lebron earned roughly $20 million his first four years in the league, but he doesn’t think that going to college would have cost him $20 million, it’s the fact that it would have cost him two max contracts in his prime, which will bring him over $200 million.
And with guys like him, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh hitting the market at the same time next year, cap space has become more valuable than draft picks. So teams spend years (see the Knicks) acquiring expiring contracts, just with the hopes of being able to land a big fish.
Giving us, the fans, a league that more closely resembles a fantasy league than the league we grew up with. The perception is of today, but the foundation was built over years.
Was it when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar passed on a $1 million offer from the Harlem Globetrotters, and was selected by the Milwaukee Bucks in the NBA AND the New Jersey Nets in the ABA, and informed both teams that he’d sign with the highest bidder? Or was that just an anomaly? Mostly, I believe, the perception of a fantasy league stems from seeing the top players move around so frequently.
Looking back to the 70’s, the players as well as the public had to choose between the NBA and the ABA, and when the decision was made that the NBA was the league, the top players didn’t move around all that often. Dr J was a 76er, as was Moses Malone. Walt Frazier was a Knick and George Gervin a Spur. Then there’s Kareem again, who split the 70’s between Milwaukee and the Lakers. Again, it was a power move that got him to LA, when he felt the city of Milwaukee didn’t meet all his needs, and asked to be dealt to LA or New York. Was that the beginning of the Fantasy League era? I don’t believe so.
As with the 80’s we again saw the top players seldom move around during their primes. But the 80’s did lay down the tracks that lead to the Fantasy Era. Prior to the 1984-85 season they instituted a salary cap and then the lottery draft system for the 1985 draft. Which of course, we all know was famously fixed so that the New York Knicks would get Patrick Ewing. Thanks for that, Mr. Stern.
The cap and lottery worked together in creating an environment that made the Fantasy a reality. The lottery has now been around for 25 years, and the truth is this; having a better chance at picking the top college players doesn’t matter when the organization is clueless. Looking at the all-time records, the worst 10 organizations based on win-loss % are the: Grizzlies, Bobcats, Clippers, Raptors, Timerwolves, Nets, Warriors, Wizards, Cavs and Kings. Only one of those teams made the playoffs last year. Sure, they may flair up on occasion and have some good years, or sold to someone who has a clue, but over time, the bad have been bad. What does that have to do with the lottery? Over the last 10 years those 10 teams have had 22 top 5 picks. Nearly half of the top 5 picks in the league belong to a third of the leagues teams.
I’ll come back to how this has lead to a fantasy league a little later. Now it’s time to introduce another co-conspirator; the kids that came either directly from high school or before their junior year of college. First, this started a youth movement, but also a trend of unproven talent. A 22 year old that played four years of college is not only rare, he’s looked at as being old. The fact that his skill set is more defined, is also perceived as limiting, where as the younger guy has the higher ceiling, simply because less is known.
The sophomore trend began popping up in 1993 with Chris Webber, who went on to have a confusing career. He went from Rookie of the Year to drifter, to “the Man” on a Championship caliber team, to a career shortened by injury. He’s both a disappointment, because we thought he’d redefine his position, but he’s also a borderline Hall of Famer. Jason Kidd was another sophomore turned pro the next year, and has a similar career to Webber (the messy divorce in Dallas, all the talent in the world, but he’s been traded three times, twice by his prime).
Then in 1995, the shit really hit the fan. The top 4 picks had all left school after their sophomore seasons. Joe Smith (bust) Antonio McDyess (bust) Jerry Stackhouse and Rasheed Wallace. The 5th pick in that draft, Kevin Garnett, started a new trend, the direct from high school prospect. The next five drafts gave us Kobe Bryant, Tracy McGrady, Rashard Lewis, Jermaine O’Neal as well as Jonathan Bender, Al Harrington, and Korleone Young, not to mention loads more of sophomore players as well as the one and done kids.
So now we have horribly run teams taking underdeveloped players. That works in one of three ways, but two cases are more frequent. First, you get a hit and the guy works out (Kobe, KG, Antoine Walker) or you get a bust (Tim Thomas, Olowokandi, Robert Traylor) or you get someone who uses his four year contract (as part of the collective bargain agreement) as a tryout for both a bigger contract and a better team (Rip Hamilton, Mike Bibby, Vince Carter, McGrady, Stephon Marbury for examples)
Having guys who don’t go and play three or four years of college ball gives the league underdeveloped talent, who also are so used to being the man in high school and often don’t adjust well to being around so much talent. Yet, teams see where it has worked, and everyone thinks they can get lucky. The lottery has become not just a lottery for position, but talent, everyone betting a buck hoping to get rich.
So what do these poorly run organizations do, when their draft picks are mistakes? They swing for the fences in a little game that I like to call “free agency.” And you know what happens when you have a cap on how much someone can spend, when that person isn’t all that good at budget their money? You get the same thing that would happen if you sent me into Best Buy with a $5,000 gift card. Mistakes.
ESPN.com listed the top 10 worst NBA contracts ever. The list consists of:
Stephon Marbury, four years, $76 million with the Suns in ’03.
Kenyon Martin, seven years $92.5 million with the Nets as part of a sign and trade deal with Denver in ’04.
Allan Houston, seven years, $100 million with the Knicks in ’01.
Keith Van Horn (twice) but the worst was his first with the Nets, for six years and $73 million in ’99.
Vin Baker for seven years and $86 million in ’99 with the Sonics.
Jermaine O’Neal signed for seven years a whopping $126.6million in ’03 with the Pacers.
Bryan Reeves, six years and $64 million in ’97 with the Grizzlies.
Ben Wallace got four years at $60 million in ’06 by the Bulls.
Jim Mcllavine, seven years and $35 million with the Sonics in ’96.
#10 was Juwan Howard, seven years for $105 million in ’96 with the Bullets.
Remember that list of 10 awful franchises? They account for four of these 10 awful deals.
1996 is a key here by the way. What happened in 1996 was the NBA had its first major class of free agents hit the open market. The top two picks from the ’92 draft, Shaquille O’Neal and Alonzo Mourning moved to new teams. Shaq signed for seven years and $121 million and ‘Zo for $105 million. The vaults were open, as seen by the Howard and Mcllavine deals.
The freaks have made everyone’s eyes too big for their stomachs. The world saw the Lakers land Kobe Bryant, but they didn’t take notice of how they didn’t start him full time till his third year. Kevin Garnett was a part time player his rookie year, and didn’t hit his stride till he was 22, oddly enough, the same age as most players who play four years of college ball. Even Jermaine O’Neal and Tracy McGrady were brought along slowly.
In 2006 the league implemented a rule stating that a player must be at least 19 to enter the draft, thus creating the “one and done” rule. And the last three #1 draft picks have been just followed that road. And it isn’t even driven by getting that first big contract, it’s to hurry up and hit free agency as soon as possible, where the real money awaits. The league awaits King James’ free agency after this year, at the tender age of 25. Kirk Hinrich was drafted the same year, and he’ll be 29 after this season. That’s pretty much the beginning of the end for most basketball players. Lebron earned roughly $20 million his first four years in the league, but he doesn’t think that going to college would have cost him $20 million, it’s the fact that it would have cost him two max contracts in his prime, which will bring him over $200 million.
And with guys like him, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh hitting the market at the same time next year, cap space has become more valuable than draft picks. So teams spend years (see the Knicks) acquiring expiring contracts, just with the hopes of being able to land a big fish.
Giving us, the fans, a league that more closely resembles a fantasy league than the league we grew up with. The perception is of today, but the foundation was built over years.
June 30, 2009
Jackson Biopic?
Actors who could possibly play Michael Jackson:
Janet Jackson. She has the moves, the voice, and the look.
Crispin Clover. Weird dude, almost weird enough to play Jacko.
Zac Efron. Get the tweens to see it, gotta get that core audience ya know.
Chris Brown. He can dance, sort of sing, and as feminine as Jackson (in the 80’s)
Edward Moss. Famous Jackson impersonator has portrayed him in Scary Movie 4, “The Michael Jackson Trial” as well as a show at Lake Tahoe for four years.
CGI? Maybe George Lucas could direct.
And you know what? I guarantee this movie, if given any kind of budget at all, is nominated for at least one Oscar. Best Costume and Best Make-Up, it has to get nominated.
While I’m thinking of it, here are two other ideas that Hollywood needs to get on board with:
OJ Simpson. As if Cuba Gooding Jr isn’t holding his breath waiting for that phone call. And you could play it as a dark comedy or a drama. Paging Ari Gold…
Tupac. Right, you didn’t see that coming. But really, we have our Biggie biopic, now it’s Pac’s turn. Or someone might start thinking its an East Coast bias.
Janet Jackson. She has the moves, the voice, and the look.
Crispin Clover. Weird dude, almost weird enough to play Jacko.
Zac Efron. Get the tweens to see it, gotta get that core audience ya know.
Chris Brown. He can dance, sort of sing, and as feminine as Jackson (in the 80’s)
Edward Moss. Famous Jackson impersonator has portrayed him in Scary Movie 4, “The Michael Jackson Trial” as well as a show at Lake Tahoe for four years.
CGI? Maybe George Lucas could direct.
And you know what? I guarantee this movie, if given any kind of budget at all, is nominated for at least one Oscar. Best Costume and Best Make-Up, it has to get nominated.
While I’m thinking of it, here are two other ideas that Hollywood needs to get on board with:
OJ Simpson. As if Cuba Gooding Jr isn’t holding his breath waiting for that phone call. And you could play it as a dark comedy or a drama. Paging Ari Gold…
Tupac. Right, you didn’t see that coming. But really, we have our Biggie biopic, now it’s Pac’s turn. Or someone might start thinking its an East Coast bias.
Hirp to Fix Sports
I like to think I’m a pretty smart fella, although I like to prove myself wrong, on this front, from time to time. So I’m going to take a crack at fixing sports, when attendance records tell us there’s nothing to fix. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broken? Well sometimes that’s the best time to fix it.
*disclaimer, I know that none of this is realistic. Well, until the shit hits the fan.
This is for the NBA, NFL and MLB, as I don’t follow Canadian sports, nor do I consider four left turns a sport. I made four left turns on the way to work, that doesn’t make me an athlete.
1st- Contraction, really, I mean it. In the 90’s it became hip to expand, the NBA saw Charlotte Hornets, Orlando Magic, Miami Heat, Minnesota Timberwolves, Memphis Grizzlies, Toronto Raptors and then we got the Charlotte Bobcats in 2005 after the Hornets moved to New Orleans. MLB gave us the Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Tampa Rays, and Florida Marlins. The NFL has opened up shop with the Cleveland Browns (Browns moved to Baltimore, but their records stayed in Cleveland) Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars, and in 2002 we got the Houston Texans (because in ’96 they lost the Oilers to Tennessee). That’s 14 new franchises in 3 sports in less than 20 years.
What’s my beef with giving more fans the opportunity to have a home team to support? Well, a watered down product for starters. Between the three leagues, there are now an additional 384 roster spots since expansion began in the 90’s. I can’t, not for a second, believe that the day before expansion started that there were in excess of 300 athletes who were good enough to make it.
That’s a post of it’s own, for another day, but if we just take the leagues back to how many teams we had in 1990, those teams would be exponentially better. Just look at the NBA, and take the players off those expansion teams and spread them throughout the league. Here’s a list of names, and I’m only listing the best players from those teams:
Chris Bosh, Andrea Bargnani, Shawn Marion, Jermanie O’Neal, Jose Calderon, Al Jefferson, Randy Foye, Kevin Love, Chris Paul, David West, Peja Stojakovic, Tyson Chandler, OJ Mayo, Rudy Gay, Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis, Jameer Nelson, Vince Carter, Dwight Howard, Dwayne Wade, Michael Beasley, Mario Chalmers, Gerald Wallace, Emeka Okafor and Boris Diaw. That’s two All-NBA 1st teamers and six all-stars from THIS YEAR. Spread those players out among the have not’s and the haves (Knicks, Clippers, Kings, Wizards, Mavs, Spurs, Celtics, Cavs, and Lakers.) Every team gets measurably better, giving the fan a better product.
I can make a similar list for both MLB and the NFL, a brief preview: Carl Crawford, Hanley Ramirez, Justin Upton, Brandon Webb, Brad Hawpe and Evan Longoria. As for the NFL: Jamal Lewis, Andre Johnson, Maurice Jones-Drew, DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith and Jake Delhomme.
And so does the college game. As there are less job openings, more kids stay in school, giving us both a better college game, and ensuring more players are better prepared to play in the next level.
2nd- Now that we’re down to having competitive leagues again, and every team really has a chance, it’s time to set up an organization that will oversee the officiating in all three leagues. These guys need to pass physical assessments, because its just silly to ask a 58 year old chase 25 year olds up and down a basketball court, to crouch behind a catcher in 98 degree heat or survive on the football field. They need to be held to a strict set of guidelines, and we need to have only the best out there. I also call for instant replay in all sports, but only for home run calls, buzzer beaters, and in bounds in the end zone.
3rd- I hate it, because it shouldn’t be a story. But the public is nuts about PED’s, so address it. I want an organization that tests randomly tests everyone, and if you fail a test, your contract is voided AND the team has to pay a $2 million fine.
4th- Lastly, and perhaps most important is marketing the game. In baseball, all World Series games need to start at a time where kids can see them. Bring back the Saturday afternoon game, and give us more double headers. Let’s have the season end in mid-October. In the NBA, I think having teams with more talent will naturally speed the game up, bring us back to the 80’s.
This is for all three leagues, no more television blackouts. If you can’t get your fans to the stadium, and they rather watch at home, well you’re better off having them do that than lose interest.
So that’s it, just a four step plan. Now I’ll just wait on the call from President Obama to put me in charge of this mess.
*disclaimer, I know that none of this is realistic. Well, until the shit hits the fan.
This is for the NBA, NFL and MLB, as I don’t follow Canadian sports, nor do I consider four left turns a sport. I made four left turns on the way to work, that doesn’t make me an athlete.
1st- Contraction, really, I mean it. In the 90’s it became hip to expand, the NBA saw Charlotte Hornets, Orlando Magic, Miami Heat, Minnesota Timberwolves, Memphis Grizzlies, Toronto Raptors and then we got the Charlotte Bobcats in 2005 after the Hornets moved to New Orleans. MLB gave us the Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Tampa Rays, and Florida Marlins. The NFL has opened up shop with the Cleveland Browns (Browns moved to Baltimore, but their records stayed in Cleveland) Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars, and in 2002 we got the Houston Texans (because in ’96 they lost the Oilers to Tennessee). That’s 14 new franchises in 3 sports in less than 20 years.
What’s my beef with giving more fans the opportunity to have a home team to support? Well, a watered down product for starters. Between the three leagues, there are now an additional 384 roster spots since expansion began in the 90’s. I can’t, not for a second, believe that the day before expansion started that there were in excess of 300 athletes who were good enough to make it.
That’s a post of it’s own, for another day, but if we just take the leagues back to how many teams we had in 1990, those teams would be exponentially better. Just look at the NBA, and take the players off those expansion teams and spread them throughout the league. Here’s a list of names, and I’m only listing the best players from those teams:
Chris Bosh, Andrea Bargnani, Shawn Marion, Jermanie O’Neal, Jose Calderon, Al Jefferson, Randy Foye, Kevin Love, Chris Paul, David West, Peja Stojakovic, Tyson Chandler, OJ Mayo, Rudy Gay, Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis, Jameer Nelson, Vince Carter, Dwight Howard, Dwayne Wade, Michael Beasley, Mario Chalmers, Gerald Wallace, Emeka Okafor and Boris Diaw. That’s two All-NBA 1st teamers and six all-stars from THIS YEAR. Spread those players out among the have not’s and the haves (Knicks, Clippers, Kings, Wizards, Mavs, Spurs, Celtics, Cavs, and Lakers.) Every team gets measurably better, giving the fan a better product.
I can make a similar list for both MLB and the NFL, a brief preview: Carl Crawford, Hanley Ramirez, Justin Upton, Brandon Webb, Brad Hawpe and Evan Longoria. As for the NFL: Jamal Lewis, Andre Johnson, Maurice Jones-Drew, DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith and Jake Delhomme.
And so does the college game. As there are less job openings, more kids stay in school, giving us both a better college game, and ensuring more players are better prepared to play in the next level.
2nd- Now that we’re down to having competitive leagues again, and every team really has a chance, it’s time to set up an organization that will oversee the officiating in all three leagues. These guys need to pass physical assessments, because its just silly to ask a 58 year old chase 25 year olds up and down a basketball court, to crouch behind a catcher in 98 degree heat or survive on the football field. They need to be held to a strict set of guidelines, and we need to have only the best out there. I also call for instant replay in all sports, but only for home run calls, buzzer beaters, and in bounds in the end zone.
3rd- I hate it, because it shouldn’t be a story. But the public is nuts about PED’s, so address it. I want an organization that tests randomly tests everyone, and if you fail a test, your contract is voided AND the team has to pay a $2 million fine.
4th- Lastly, and perhaps most important is marketing the game. In baseball, all World Series games need to start at a time where kids can see them. Bring back the Saturday afternoon game, and give us more double headers. Let’s have the season end in mid-October. In the NBA, I think having teams with more talent will naturally speed the game up, bring us back to the 80’s.
This is for all three leagues, no more television blackouts. If you can’t get your fans to the stadium, and they rather watch at home, well you’re better off having them do that than lose interest.
So that’s it, just a four step plan. Now I’ll just wait on the call from President Obama to put me in charge of this mess.
June 29, 2009
Good Mourning
There was a lot of death in the past week, actually, probably no more than usual. Just a lot of names we know, including a girl I went to high school with. Pretty freaky that a 31 year old could have a stroke, but I know of another girl that age that had a stroke. Never really think about anyone under the age of white hair, having a stroke.
The biggest name, by far, was Michael Jackson. It’s been said many times, and the first time I heard it was from my wife, but this is Elvis all over again. I mused on Facebook/Twitter that it wouldn’t be long till we heard rumors of an overdose, and those have surfaced. Shouldn’t really be a shock, the guy was in rehab like a year ago for an addiction to painkillers.
Michael Wilbourn, co-host of “Pardon the Interruption” said last week, that he was choosing to remember Jackson up through 1984, because after that, he just wasn’t the same guy. And I gotta say, I agree. I think it’s more than the molestation charges, before that all surfaced, he was already the living punch line. When I see the videos of him from pre-84, it really is someone completely different. He was a great entertainer, but just a bizarre guy. And I blame his father.
Papa Joe had this gem at the BET Awards over the weekend, “I have a lot of concerns…I don’t like what happened.” Really, your son dies and you don’t like what happened? Maybe blame yourself. The shit his father put him through as a child, I think, is why he never grew up and the source of everything else.
And then Sunday we get the tragic news, that icon Billy Mays also passed away. Well I’m not buying it, I smell foul play, and I think the ShamWow guy was behind this. If Infomercials had a VH1 of their own, we’d know about their on going beef. This was Tupac-Biggie. Adweek once claimed ShamWow Guy was, “the man that could beat Billy Mays at his own game.”
Mays upped the ante when he signed on to do his reality show, “Pitchmen.”
ShamWow guy, aka Vince Offer, has a violent streak. The former Jew turned Scientologist, was arrested in February of this year for felony battery when he roughed up a prostitute. The same month Mays challenged Offer to a “pitch-off.” Do you see how things spiraled out of control from there? Thanks, Wikipedia.
The biggest name, by far, was Michael Jackson. It’s been said many times, and the first time I heard it was from my wife, but this is Elvis all over again. I mused on Facebook/Twitter that it wouldn’t be long till we heard rumors of an overdose, and those have surfaced. Shouldn’t really be a shock, the guy was in rehab like a year ago for an addiction to painkillers.
Michael Wilbourn, co-host of “Pardon the Interruption” said last week, that he was choosing to remember Jackson up through 1984, because after that, he just wasn’t the same guy. And I gotta say, I agree. I think it’s more than the molestation charges, before that all surfaced, he was already the living punch line. When I see the videos of him from pre-84, it really is someone completely different. He was a great entertainer, but just a bizarre guy. And I blame his father.
Papa Joe had this gem at the BET Awards over the weekend, “I have a lot of concerns…I don’t like what happened.” Really, your son dies and you don’t like what happened? Maybe blame yourself. The shit his father put him through as a child, I think, is why he never grew up and the source of everything else.
And then Sunday we get the tragic news, that icon Billy Mays also passed away. Well I’m not buying it, I smell foul play, and I think the ShamWow guy was behind this. If Infomercials had a VH1 of their own, we’d know about their on going beef. This was Tupac-Biggie. Adweek once claimed ShamWow Guy was, “the man that could beat Billy Mays at his own game.”
Mays upped the ante when he signed on to do his reality show, “Pitchmen.”
ShamWow guy, aka Vince Offer, has a violent streak. The former Jew turned Scientologist, was arrested in February of this year for felony battery when he roughed up a prostitute. The same month Mays challenged Offer to a “pitch-off.” Do you see how things spiraled out of control from there? Thanks, Wikipedia.
June 24, 2009
Hirplings
Everyday, on my way to work, I pass this massive Church. This place, I just found out, was 110,000 sq ft as of 1999 and has grown since then. I really can’t even imagine how much it cost to build. I know that a “capital campaign” in 2002 raised $30 million to fund additional space for worship and education. But it got me to thinking, these “non-for profits” are making all kinds of serious bank. And really, what purpose does it serve to have such an expensive building and really, organization? Helps recruit new members, can offer those members a lot, like a gym and all sorts of activities, including organized sports, and education.
I’m no expert on religion, although that won’t keep me from acting like I know it all, but I just can’t help but think about all the good that could be done with that money. All those services and perks are great, but could easily be done on a smaller scale. So maybe at this point, if a Church, Synagogue or Mosque is worth X amount of dollars, we should tax that ass.
And while I’m on it, with religion wanting such a prominent voice in politics, let’s flip the script, and get Government involved in religion. I suggest a new wing of the Government that is to oversee all that’s going on in our places of worship. If we’ll allow Congress to get involved in baseball, we can allow them in the God business.
***
I never read comic books, so this might be common knowledge already, and if so, I’m sure someone will correct me. But the other day I was watching Dark Knight on HBO, and I found myself wondering about the Joker’s back story. Here’s what I’ve come up with. He was a former military guy, some sort of Special Forces. Something happened, and his face got all disheveled. Then the Government turned their back on him, as it was probably done in some hush-hush mission. So he turned on them, and that’s why dude is so bent on tearing shit up. I also found it ironic, that someone who is such a strong supporter of anarchy can be so methodical in his planning.
I’m no expert on religion, although that won’t keep me from acting like I know it all, but I just can’t help but think about all the good that could be done with that money. All those services and perks are great, but could easily be done on a smaller scale. So maybe at this point, if a Church, Synagogue or Mosque is worth X amount of dollars, we should tax that ass.
And while I’m on it, with religion wanting such a prominent voice in politics, let’s flip the script, and get Government involved in religion. I suggest a new wing of the Government that is to oversee all that’s going on in our places of worship. If we’ll allow Congress to get involved in baseball, we can allow them in the God business.
***
I never read comic books, so this might be common knowledge already, and if so, I’m sure someone will correct me. But the other day I was watching Dark Knight on HBO, and I found myself wondering about the Joker’s back story. Here’s what I’ve come up with. He was a former military guy, some sort of Special Forces. Something happened, and his face got all disheveled. Then the Government turned their back on him, as it was probably done in some hush-hush mission. So he turned on them, and that’s why dude is so bent on tearing shit up. I also found it ironic, that someone who is such a strong supporter of anarchy can be so methodical in his planning.
June 22, 2009
From The Hirp
I was never much of a Joe Montana fan; I always supported the Dan Marino party in the race for the “Best Quarterback Ever.” And Joe went to Notre Dame, which I only like when I watch Rudy. So, that being said, I was just reading a story about Montana’s son, Nick, a blue chip football recruit in his own right. But Joe and his wife, Jennifer, wouldn’t go on the record in the article because they didn’t want it to appear as if they were focusing more on one of their children than the others. That’s fantastic parenting, and just damn cool.
That brings me to this gem of a story from our weekend. Saturday we went to a wedding, and seated across the aisle from us was a young mother. Everyone knows black hooker boots have their place, but when a seven year old leans over and says, “Mommy, that is NOT appropriate for a wedding,” well, then you know that just maybe, someone has made a bad judgment call.
Niccolo Machiavelli posed the question: “Is it better to be loved, or feared?” If you want the answer, ask a parent.
What was more predictable, the Brett Farve wants to play again story, or the voting scandal in Iran? I’m saying it was a push.
I’ve seen the headlines; Tom and Kate have some big announcement tonight. It should either be “Kate’s a biatch” (I only know this thanks to “The Soup” on E) or “Obama supports taxing our viewers twice as much as everyone else.”
That brings me to this gem of a story from our weekend. Saturday we went to a wedding, and seated across the aisle from us was a young mother. Everyone knows black hooker boots have their place, but when a seven year old leans over and says, “Mommy, that is NOT appropriate for a wedding,” well, then you know that just maybe, someone has made a bad judgment call.
Niccolo Machiavelli posed the question: “Is it better to be loved, or feared?” If you want the answer, ask a parent.
What was more predictable, the Brett Farve wants to play again story, or the voting scandal in Iran? I’m saying it was a push.
I’ve seen the headlines; Tom and Kate have some big announcement tonight. It should either be “Kate’s a biatch” (I only know this thanks to “The Soup” on E) or “Obama supports taxing our viewers twice as much as everyone else.”
June 11, 2009
Hirp History X
Last night we had dinner at my in-laws, and while we were eating I brought up what had happened at the Holocaust Museum
The Kyd hears us go over pretty much the same details I just mentioned, and we tell her, that he's racist against Blacks and Jews, and that's why (how weak is that?!) he did what he did. She's 7, mature for her age, but still just 7. So her reaction, as pure and beautiful as it really was, also really bothered me. There was complete and utter shock in her face. Immediately she looked at me, we could see her making the connection in her head, "G is Jewish, and this happened because someone doesn't like Jews. Can this happen to G?"
A scene from the much underrated and very re-watchable movie, The Kingdom, immediately played in my head. Jamie Foxx, who plays an FBI agent that investigates terrorism, is trying to tell his son, who is about the same age as my step-daughter, that something very bad happened, and dad needs to go to work. His son looks at his dad and says, "there's a lot of bad people out there, huh?"
Foxx replies, "yes, but you're not one of them."
Syd, there are a lot of bad people out there, but you aren't one of them, never one of them. I've thought a lot about that brief conversation, her reaction, and just the pointless violence that took place in Washington DC
These people scare the crap out of me. We found the show when they were giving the details of a 1999 shooting at a Jewish Community and day care center. Frankly, I had almost completely forgotten about it, which makes me feel guilty. The irony is rich. At one point, they interviewed some "leader" of another Neo-Nazi organization, and he called the incident a failure. Why? Because the gunmen fired off 70 shots, and it's supposed to be 1 shot, 1 kill, and this gunmen didn't kill anyone in the center (but did kill a postman as he fled, for the simple offense of being a person of color working for the Government).
I swear, I thought I heard banjo's playing in the background as this guy with the serial killer glasses and Grizzly Adams beard spewed his20bullshit. But something occurred to me on the way to work, perhaps a little sick and twisted, but that's just how I roll. These freaks believe whites are the "master race." But if my people are in such control of all that goes on in the world, that we control the media, the courts, and all the money, doesn't that mean that Jews are actually the "master race?" I mean, just by default. Their hero, Hitler, killed six million of us, yet we're still so powerful, really? According to JewishVirtualLibrary.com, Jews account for a whopping 1.78% of the American population. There are more WNBA fans in America than there are Jews in America
Seriously though, what makes them hate so much? I get it, times are rough, and we all want to point the finger at someone else. Maybe it's easy to blame 1.78% of the population for the fact that you had to take your sister to prom. I guess it doesn't really matter, because these people are friggin' dangerous. Their ideas are even more dangero us than the violent acts they commit. They want to spread weakness and hate, and if it were up to them, 7 year olds would (and I'm sure their kids already) think like them.
Seven year olds are smarter than us. When the Kyd tells us she doesn't like someone, her reason is almost always the same. "They're mean." It's that simple, and it should still be so easy. I've seen her play with boys, girls, handicapped, Black, Mexican, older and younger kids. And all she wants is kids who are nice. If someone isn't nice, that's the extent of it. She doesn't need to find a reason and place blame. It isn't because of their race or religion, they just aren't nice. Why can't we be as mature as 2nd graders?
I don't know if it's more hypocritical or just nonsensical that they admire Adolf Hitler so much. I mean, do they not realize that as such "patriots" they're following someone who killed Americans!? Who disagreed with everything our country stands for? How is sidi ng with your enemy a patriotic act? The show we watched had the standard clips of some Derek Vinyard type, rallying about how they don't want immigrants here and this country is for them. I just want to ask them, how the ef did your family end up here?
There's really nothing wrong with having some pride in your people. Jews do it all the time, and proudly spend their money at Jewish owned businesses, but doesn't pride come before the fall? Or that must be some Jew pulling on a trip cord. It's pretty obvious, but these neo-Nazi's aren't happy and well adjusted citizens. And for that matter, neither are most Jews (or anyone else). But to actually want your kids to hate, that's their biggest sin, and most indefensible. Hate me because I had more opportunities in my life, or because I have a nicer TV than you, because I went to KU or voted for Obama and you disagree with my religious views. But for the love of whatever you actually care about, don't teach your kids to hate, asshole.
June 03, 2009
We are Hirpness
As a kid, I was always a baseball fan first. That’s my first love, and even though we’ve had a rocky relationship and grown apart some, she still has my fan heart. But I always enjoyed the NBA. In the 80’s I was a bit of a Laker fan, not just because it was the team of choice of an older cousin who lived out there, but because Magic Johnson was just too much fun to watch. For years I argued how he was the best ever, and this Jordan fella was all about stats, and actually hurt his team.
After Jordan won his first title, beating Magic and the Lakers, I still insisted that Magic was the better player. At 6’9, he was built like a power forward, but played the point. He made passes that I would end up practicing in my drive way. Only I was passing to an 18 foot wide garage, and he was making the passes to someone running full speed. Advantage: Magic. Jordan was playing above the rim, and it was awe inspiring, but just the thought of being able to reach the net was more than a tall order for me.
It took Jordan retiring for me to come around, and realize that was in fact, the best player to ever play. Luckily for me, he came back. But at the same time, I was also a Knick fan. How I was able to cheer for a NY team and an LA team at the same time was simply a product of my age. By the time the Bulls played the Lakers, I was definitely a Knick fan first, but Magic was my guy. Those passes never got old, and that smile was infectious.
Today I routinely exchange emails with that same cousin, and his partner in crime. And once again, I’m siding with the guy who makes the pretty passes. Only this guy plays above the rim too. He’s a beast, that Lebron James. I remember watching his high school games on ESPN2, and I thought he had to be at least 24 years old then. That was 7 years ago, and he’s still 24.
Nike hyped him up like they’ve never hyped anyone else. He was the #1 draft pick by his hometown Cleveland Cavilers. We were all witness. And he came on the scene like no other NBA rookie ever has. I won’t get into the stats, even though I want to. I spent the past few years rallying against Kobe Bryant, who like James, came to the NBA straight out of high school. My friends will tell you, I always like getting excited over the young athletes. And I don’t mean that in a creepy, Michael Jackson-Maculy Culkin sort of way. There’s just something about seeing the potential, wondering what kind of career someone will have, and seeing it play out. It’s one of the things that make sports so great.
But I quickly soured on Kobe. He was arrogant, and just very easy to dislike. So my cousin and I sparred, and sparred some more. I picked at every word he spoke, every face he made on the court and generally acted like a “hater.” It took some time, and some growing on my part, but I softened my stance on Kobe. He grew up, and so did I. I wrote on this blog once, that he and A-Rod were very similar. That was flat out wrong. I can admit that now.
This year the question became clear, you’re either a Lebron guy, or a Kobe guy. And I’ve planted my Lebron flag. And while it’s been much speculated that he’ll bolt Cleveland for the glitz of New York after next year, I am firm in my belief, that I don’t want him. Not because I just don’t want the best player (or 2nd best) on the planet, because of course I’d love to have his talent. I just don’t want to see an icon change teams. Icons don’t do that, no in the prime of their careers. His staying in Cleveland is better for him, basketball and all of us. Even Knick fans.
That’s a bit off point. Here’s why I think Lebron is “The One.” His play in the playoffs this year, against the Orlando Magic, even though they lost the series, sucked my wife in. She was right there next to me, on the couch, watching in pure amazement, as this guy did everything imaginable on the basketball court. That’s huge. To get someone who isn’t even a casual NBA fan, so enthralled in their play, is evidence of something special.
After Jordan won his first title, beating Magic and the Lakers, I still insisted that Magic was the better player. At 6’9, he was built like a power forward, but played the point. He made passes that I would end up practicing in my drive way. Only I was passing to an 18 foot wide garage, and he was making the passes to someone running full speed. Advantage: Magic. Jordan was playing above the rim, and it was awe inspiring, but just the thought of being able to reach the net was more than a tall order for me.
It took Jordan retiring for me to come around, and realize that was in fact, the best player to ever play. Luckily for me, he came back. But at the same time, I was also a Knick fan. How I was able to cheer for a NY team and an LA team at the same time was simply a product of my age. By the time the Bulls played the Lakers, I was definitely a Knick fan first, but Magic was my guy. Those passes never got old, and that smile was infectious.
Today I routinely exchange emails with that same cousin, and his partner in crime. And once again, I’m siding with the guy who makes the pretty passes. Only this guy plays above the rim too. He’s a beast, that Lebron James. I remember watching his high school games on ESPN2, and I thought he had to be at least 24 years old then. That was 7 years ago, and he’s still 24.
Nike hyped him up like they’ve never hyped anyone else. He was the #1 draft pick by his hometown Cleveland Cavilers. We were all witness. And he came on the scene like no other NBA rookie ever has. I won’t get into the stats, even though I want to. I spent the past few years rallying against Kobe Bryant, who like James, came to the NBA straight out of high school. My friends will tell you, I always like getting excited over the young athletes. And I don’t mean that in a creepy, Michael Jackson-Maculy Culkin sort of way. There’s just something about seeing the potential, wondering what kind of career someone will have, and seeing it play out. It’s one of the things that make sports so great.
But I quickly soured on Kobe. He was arrogant, and just very easy to dislike. So my cousin and I sparred, and sparred some more. I picked at every word he spoke, every face he made on the court and generally acted like a “hater.” It took some time, and some growing on my part, but I softened my stance on Kobe. He grew up, and so did I. I wrote on this blog once, that he and A-Rod were very similar. That was flat out wrong. I can admit that now.
This year the question became clear, you’re either a Lebron guy, or a Kobe guy. And I’ve planted my Lebron flag. And while it’s been much speculated that he’ll bolt Cleveland for the glitz of New York after next year, I am firm in my belief, that I don’t want him. Not because I just don’t want the best player (or 2nd best) on the planet, because of course I’d love to have his talent. I just don’t want to see an icon change teams. Icons don’t do that, no in the prime of their careers. His staying in Cleveland is better for him, basketball and all of us. Even Knick fans.
That’s a bit off point. Here’s why I think Lebron is “The One.” His play in the playoffs this year, against the Orlando Magic, even though they lost the series, sucked my wife in. She was right there next to me, on the couch, watching in pure amazement, as this guy did everything imaginable on the basketball court. That’s huge. To get someone who isn’t even a casual NBA fan, so enthralled in their play, is evidence of something special.
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