HirpTV

Last night I was watching some television, shocking, and saw this commercial that just didn’t sit right with me. It was for some bottled Vitamin Water. The premise is that Boston Red Sox star and Chicago Bear star, David Ortiz and Brian Urlacher, are playing badminton, and they are so powerful and great because they drink this wonderful water, they are amazing badminton players. It seems to imply that it helps make them so powerful that they can hit a birdie (I paid attention during gym in 5th grade) with such force, that it can actually become lodged in their opponents’ leg.



Now why does this bother me so? Well, with all the talk of steroids in sports, and baseball specifically, its just stupid to be part of an ad campaign that is showing us the strength these guys get from something they put into their bodies. Even though its water, and nothing illegal, it’s just bad taste and poor judgment. This ranks right up there with the idiot move by former player, and the biggest name in baseball to actually test positive for steroid use, Rafeal Palmerio. See Mr. Palmeiro, testified in front of Congress in 2005 that he never used anything to enhance his performance. This was ironic because he was a pitchman for a little product you probably heard of, something called Viagra.

So we have two huge athletes, who have a cloud of suspicion over t heir heads as it is, selling a product by telling us it makes them stronger and better. Overall it’s a brilliant move by them, and the people at Vitamin Water, and while I’m talking about the folks at Vitamin Water, nice name fellas. That was clever, how long did it take to come up with “Vitamin Water”? I’d love to see a reenactment of that board meeting.

I also found the sickest, and most twisted show on television since “Caillou.” Another surprise, this was on MTV, formerly known as Music Television. Anyway, the show is “Scarred,” and all they do is show clips of people getting seriously fucked up injuries. Injuries that came from skateboarding and jumping down some stairs, only to land wrong and have a dude’s knee basically blow up, and a weightlifter who also managed to blow out his knee when a power squat goes awry.



This is the same network that brought us “Jackass” and was so sure to tell its viewers not to try these “stunts” at home, and now they are airing video of its viewers mangling their bodies. I vote that they just bring back “Yo! MTV Raps,” and maybe “Singled Out.”