Cats and Dogs

I was recently talking to someone who mentioned how they wished people could be like pets, and love us unconditionally. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not at all anti-pet. C'mon, who wouldn't want a fun puppy, a loyal dog or cat? Animals are all kinds of cool. But, do they give their owners unconditional love? Fuck no. First off, we even call them pet "owners."

Now I'm pretty sure any relationship that has one party referring to itself as the "owner" is far from a healthy relationship. So, we've ruled out that it's healthy. Now, for this unconditional crap. Let's see. Try not feeding your dog or cat. Think Benji will still love you? If you do, you're delusional. Now I know what you're thinking, you'd never do that because you love your pet right? Well, then give your pet some choices. Let em go outside, no fence or leash. How's that saying go, "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you its yours" or something like that? Ah but, most people wont do that because they're afraid the animal won't come back. So right there, you actually doubt its love. Or its intelligence.

I know, many "owners" allow their cats to run around outside and the cat comes back. Well, its a manipulative lil fur ball. Is love bringing it back, or the promise of a meal it doesn't have to kill? This is the biggest reason they "love" us. We make their life easy. No longer do they have to hunt for food, or survive the elements. Lounge around all day, get fur every where and never even have to vacuum.

So what do we love about them? Well, for one they never judge us. Or they don't communicate when they do. They don't talk back. The only expectations they have of us is that we fill the water and feed 'em. For that, we might get a wagging tail or some company on the couch while we watch TV. Your dog or cat doesn't give a shit if you get promoted at work, or what kind of car you drive. Doesn't even notice if you're attractive, and even likes it when you smell bad. But we'll forgive them if they take a shit in the living room, cause they don't know better?! Chew up a shoe, and we blame ourselves for leaving it out. Cat rips up the couch and we accept it cause either you think its too cruel to declaw, or you haven't gotten around to it yet. Now if your 9 year old kid does any of this, you'll beat the shit out of the snotnosed bastard. Maybe not but you won't be happy and it'll take longer to forgive Timmy then it would to forgive Spencer.