No Clever Title

Last night Porqchop and I ventured out to Olathe to see Black Snake Moan, and today I can say our record is intact. Every movie we’ve seen together has been good, some even great. An actual review is still brewing, so you’ll have to come back later for that. This here post (wow, after Departed I wanted to talk with a Boston accent and now I want to sound as if I’m from the south) has more to do with choices actors make. Bad choices to be specific. Everyone’s favorite badass mother fucker, Samuel Jackson, was fantastic again. Jackson just needs some help picking roles, maybe more than any other actor in Hollywood. He’s one of those guys who can’t seem to turn down offers. How else can you explain, The Man, xXx, Swat, Formula 51 or Deep Blue Sea.

So let’s cover the talented actors we all like, who just can’t seem to find an Ari Gold to help them out. And I won’t be moved on these:

Kevin Spacey: American Beauty, Seven, Usual Suspects, L.A. Confidential, K-Pax and Pay it Forward. Ouch, two huge mistakes. To his credit though, he’s actually been spending his time working in theatre.

Robert De Niro: I hate saying it, up till 2000 he looked like the greatest of all-time and never picked the wrong role. Then came Rocky and Bullwinkle, suddenly there was 15 Minutes, Showtime, Analyze That and Meet The Fockers. Please get back on track. It’s like watching Jordan on the Wizards.

Al Pacino: Perhaps he and De Niro made a pact, come turn of the Century, they thought it’d be fun to just whore themselves out. This was Michael Corleone, he never should have considered Any Given Sunday, S1m0ne, and he should never be forgiven for Gigli. Hopefully Oceans 13 can turn it around.

Denzel Washington: One of my favorite actors, but the dude takes so many similar roles that it’s hard to keep them in order. John Q, Remember the Titans, Out of Time, Manchurian Candidate and Déjà vu are all the same guy.

Ben Stiller: The rest of the “Frat Pack” has been golden, he did Envy, Duplex, The Fockers and watched Steve Carell take his career away from him.

But if I had to give out one award, it would go to Nic Cage. He’s made an art of picking horrible roles and movies to be a part of. Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas, Lord of War, World Trade Center and Matchstick Men are some pretty respectable highs. Agreeing to do Ghost Rider, Wicker Man, Windtalkers, Family Man, Gone in 60 Seconds, City of Angels, Con Air and his other Jerry Bruckheimer movies make me think this guy can’t say no.