Regrets

This weekend I was having a conversation with a friend about regret, and they had this clever philosophy that gave me ammo for a post. It goes, “you shouldn’t regret anything, because at some point that is exactly what you wanted.”

Well, I call bullshit on that. You should absolutely have regrets. Trying to ignore it or give your self some pass on regret is just an attempt at to excuse what you did. Just like any other emotion, you should experience it fully. It’s not that regret should rule your life or haunt you forever, but if you don’t regret anything, then the fear of regret is also gone. It’s a license to do whatever you please without consequences.

Regret and fear is what separates us from socio-paths. Personally, I regret more things that I did not do rather than things I have done. Mainly because I know before I do something what the chances are that I might regret it. The phrase itself reminds me of another, “careful what you ask for cause you just might get it.” There have been many things I wanted to do, but because I knew in the long run, I chose not to. According to this, it doesn’t matter if it was wrong, it’s what I wanted at some point.

Just because you wanted something, and were able to obtain it, doesn’t mean it was the right choice. Instant gratification is usually what you want just for that instant, that’s kind of why they call it instant gratification. Now there is a definite difference between regretting something and just doing something and learning from the experience. Go out with a girl you meet at the methadone clinic, that’s something you’re more likely to regret. Going out with a girl who has a Nascar bumper sticker..wait, sorry, no that’s a regret too. But going out with a girl and you catch her cheating on to you is more an experience you should learn from.

Driving drunk is something you should regret, getting caught should be the learning experience. Going to K-State is something you should regret, picking them to win something should be the learning experience. Chasing a one out flush to the river is a learning experience, emptying your bank account to fund a trip to Vegas is something you should regret. Or the best decision you ever made, that’s kind of a slippery slope.

Regret should be felt just as you should feel anger, jealously, sadness, happiness, or any other emotion Dr. Phil or your wife wants to talk about. And this “no regret” philosophy seems pretty popular, and I think that’s un-forgivable. I’m not ashamed of the things I regret. Mostly, I regret not finishing school. Aside from that, there isn’t much. But that’s because I effin' hate regret.


"You used to hold me, told me that I was the best
Anything in this world I want I could posess
All that made me want is all that I could get
In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets..."
-Jay Z “Regrets”