April 29, 2006
Brilliant
So I just saw some folks wearing these tee shirts, something about crawl for cancer. I heard a little about it the other day. It's a pub crawl to raise money for cancer research. What makes this something worth posting about? Well they were rockin' their tee's that were for such a good cause, as they lit up their cigarettes. Crawl for cancer, light up a camel? It's good that they were so into this cause. And really, being that it was a pub crawl and 90% of anyone in a bar is smoking, what do you think is more likely. They actually raised some money for a good cause, or they raised their own chances of getting cancer? Makes about as much sense as getting a bunch of Jews to start a kosher krawl through pubs in Alabama or Mississippi. Great cause, not gonna get any results other then death or pain.
Goodbye Ross
Ran across this indie movie at blockbuster tonight. Flick I had never heard of, and I'm pretty sure you haven't either. Duane Hopwood. No, that's not the name of a incoming freshmen center at KU. It's a movie staring David Schwimmer. You know, Ross Gellar. The annoying whinny one on Friends. A guy who I had penciled in for a nice post-Friends career that would have him working more as a director, writer and producer. But I think I was wrong.
Seems Mr Schwimmer took some notes from Jennifer Anistons career and this is his answer to The Good Girl. And really its part Good Girl with a mix of The Cooler, Leaving Las Vegas and a hint of American Beauty. And you don't ever get the feeling that you're watching Ross. A feat alone that proves he can go on to have a nice career.
David plays a guy of the same name as the title. Just a normal schmo who is dealing with a divorce (no, she didn't leave him for another woman) and you don't really know if he started drinking cause his wife left him, or if his wife left him cause of the drinking. Anyway, it starts off with him getting a DWI. Bad huh? Wait, no his daughter is asleep in the back of the car. So, you think complete asshole right? Nah. He really isn't. Horrible choice on his part. And as a result his ex-wife who he is still very much in love with, will move to have visitation rights taken away. The ex is played by Janeane Garofalo, and she has just met a new guy. John Krasinski of The Office, who looks the part of a guy from the shore. Expect big things from him in the future by the way. Excellent casting job. Some total surprises. Steve Schirripa of The Sopranos plays Duanes lawyer. With Dick Cavett as a concerned friend/neighbor. Anyway, Schwimmer is a guy who is barely holding on. And with all the things going on you couldn't blame him for a second if he did just snap and lose it. In fact, maybe he did. Maybe you just have to go rent it to find out for yourself. And you will. And not only will it be a great surprise of a movie, you'll be blown away by his performance.
And the fun fact of the movie? Written and directed by Matt Mulhern. Name doesn't ring a bell at all huh? Remember the great 80s John Cusak movie One Crazy Summer? This is Teddy Beckersted. The spoiled brat from the movie.
There is actual hope that the cast of Friends might be able to move on where so many other TV super star's failed. Well, 3 or 4 of them. And Matt LeBlac knew he had no chance of any thing more. Now I'm off to watch Steve Martin's Shop Girl.
Seems Mr Schwimmer took some notes from Jennifer Anistons career and this is his answer to The Good Girl. And really its part Good Girl with a mix of The Cooler, Leaving Las Vegas and a hint of American Beauty. And you don't ever get the feeling that you're watching Ross. A feat alone that proves he can go on to have a nice career.
David plays a guy of the same name as the title. Just a normal schmo who is dealing with a divorce (no, she didn't leave him for another woman) and you don't really know if he started drinking cause his wife left him, or if his wife left him cause of the drinking. Anyway, it starts off with him getting a DWI. Bad huh? Wait, no his daughter is asleep in the back of the car. So, you think complete asshole right? Nah. He really isn't. Horrible choice on his part. And as a result his ex-wife who he is still very much in love with, will move to have visitation rights taken away. The ex is played by Janeane Garofalo, and she has just met a new guy. John Krasinski of The Office, who looks the part of a guy from the shore. Expect big things from him in the future by the way. Excellent casting job. Some total surprises. Steve Schirripa of The Sopranos plays Duanes lawyer. With Dick Cavett as a concerned friend/neighbor. Anyway, Schwimmer is a guy who is barely holding on. And with all the things going on you couldn't blame him for a second if he did just snap and lose it. In fact, maybe he did. Maybe you just have to go rent it to find out for yourself. And you will. And not only will it be a great surprise of a movie, you'll be blown away by his performance.
And the fun fact of the movie? Written and directed by Matt Mulhern. Name doesn't ring a bell at all huh? Remember the great 80s John Cusak movie One Crazy Summer? This is Teddy Beckersted. The spoiled brat from the movie.
There is actual hope that the cast of Friends might be able to move on where so many other TV super star's failed. Well, 3 or 4 of them. And Matt LeBlac knew he had no chance of any thing more. Now I'm off to watch Steve Martin's Shop Girl.
April 28, 2006
Been a long time...
So it's been a couple days since I posted. Sorry bout that kids. Mike V has been in town so we've been busy. Let's see, first we had to hit Jack Stack. He's been missing his BBQ and watching him eat there, was a riot. Pretty sure it was exactly how I was the last two times I went to New York and had to get pizza. To see someone salivating, unable to concentrate and acting like a 7 year old on their birthday is pure entertainment. And the kid put it away. I think he ate 7 or 8 pounds. After that, we hit Westport to find out what time "Thank You For Smoking" was playing and stopped off at a new bar for a drink. one80, although it looks like it's called onego so that's what we're calling it. Cool enough place. Then saw the flick. Now for like 13 years we've gone to movies together. And at some point it became an on going joke that two guys going to the movies together, must sit at least one chair apart. Well being that the place was pretty empty, we took it up a notch and actually sat across the aisle from each other.
As for the movie, definitely recommend it.
Yesterday we hit the K to catch the Royals. And good god is that a sad experience. This team is awful. God awful. Crowd was barely over 11,000. That's beyond pathetic. That's Montreal Expos level. Followed the game with meeting up with some other friends at the Falloon and drinking. A solid 6 hours. My texts that I sent last night, weren't pretty. It's hard to spell on a keypad that small while under the influence. I must have sounded like a MU grad or something retarded like that. All in all, good times. Nothing really entertaining to read about. But you read it anyway. Suckers.
As for the movie, definitely recommend it.
Yesterday we hit the K to catch the Royals. And good god is that a sad experience. This team is awful. God awful. Crowd was barely over 11,000. That's beyond pathetic. That's Montreal Expos level. Followed the game with meeting up with some other friends at the Falloon and drinking. A solid 6 hours. My texts that I sent last night, weren't pretty. It's hard to spell on a keypad that small while under the influence. I must have sounded like a MU grad or something retarded like that. All in all, good times. Nothing really entertaining to read about. But you read it anyway. Suckers.
April 25, 2006
"Is you kidding me or what mang?!"
Words said by Tony Montana. Aka Scarface. Pretty fitting here. So, here's the latest drama in as the Hirp turns. Phone rings last night. Girl I had been talking to and gotten pretty interested in and I thought kinda close with over the past 2+ years and even more so the past three months or so. But then she had suddenly stopped talking to me. No nothing. Something that had happened in the past, and a situation I'm not a fan of. Anyway, my faithful readers know the situation pretty well. But I'm stuck in a bit of a conundrum if you will, do I listen to an explanation she says I am owed? Or blow it off and go out drinking all weekend with V as per the plan? I'm thinking both. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment, or just a sick sadomasochist. But, I've said it before. I'd rather have a big fight with someone and have TOO much said rather than nothing said at all. Ideally I'd be adult about it, speak calmly and just say what's on my mind. You know, how an adult is supposed to ask. But with me, I get a bit heated sometimes and can be kind of abrasive. Really. Pretty sure I'm leaning towards getting the explanation and going from there. I really think feelings don't go away. Friends or whatever. If you liked someone, respected them or what have you, that's still there. It may just have more recent feelings on top of it that cover up, for better or worse, what you used to feel. Often enough it's the right thing, to let the newer feelings or what have you take precedent. So, wow this blog just took a turn to a teenage girls diary. I think I just threw up in my mouth.
"I planned each chartered course, each careful step along the by way and more, much more than this I did it my way" Frank
"You gotta boil it down to the essentials. It's like Cube says, "Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money." " Jay, Chasing Amy
We Got A Problem
Now I don't want to alarm anyone. But we're in serious trouble. I mean it's a funny story but really, we're fucked. See, I picked a friend up from the airport last night. And all these security checks and precautions they're taking don't do any good when you still have idiots involved.
Let me tell you what happened here. His flight gets in early. That's not the bad thing, that's just rare and worth sharing. But wait. They can't get to the gate to get off the plane cause there's a plane there that's about to leave. Tick tock, tick tock. Time passes (that's what the tick tock represented) Turns out this plane? Well there's a problem. It's a commuter flight, and there's another flight from the same airline, going to the same place at almost the exact same time and neither flight can leave. Why you may ask? Well, something got goofed when they boarded the flights. See, there's plane A and passengers who have tickets for that flight right? And plane B with it's own passengers and flight #. Some genius boarded the passengers for plane B onto plane A, and vice versa. Now these people need to see all kinds of ID and DNA samples before we can even GET IN TO THE GATE AREA. After that, they can just totally fuck up. That's comforting. So the flights were delayed while they had to swap luggage and paperwork. This is grrrreeeaaaat. I get losing a bag, that sucks. But people do screw up. And I can see it being confusing to have two flights from the same airline going to the same place at almost the same time. But C'mon! This isn't just one person making an oops. And if they can make a mistake like this, they'd probably let Bin Laden himself board a flight as long as he had ID on him.
Oh, and the story gets a little better. See, this friends initial flight was delayed. And the flight from NY to Chicago before his had been pushed back nearly two hours. Making it take off just 20 minutes before his scheduled flight. So they let him just take that flight instead. All he did was ask the person at the gate and was allowed on the earlier flight cause they had room.
Now onto something more fun. I like airports. I do, always have. I know a lot of people look at it as a pain in the ass, and yes it has some flaws. But it's a great place to people watch. Get to make up little stories in my head. Two people reuniting at the gate, aw its sweet. No, he totally cheated while he was gone and she was hoping he wouldn't even come back. But look at them put on a good show. This group, going to try and nail down the new client. And they're taking a rookie along. Oh, this group must be going on a cool vacation. Get to try and guess where they're going. Wish I was going some place cool. And it's one of the best places to watch women. Business women dressed to the nines, college co-eds wearing sweats and fuzzy slippers, you see it all.
"Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? " Tyler Durden Fight Club
"Drive slow homie, you never know homie, about these hoes homie, you need to pump your brakes and drive slow homie" Kanye West
Let me tell you what happened here. His flight gets in early. That's not the bad thing, that's just rare and worth sharing. But wait. They can't get to the gate to get off the plane cause there's a plane there that's about to leave. Tick tock, tick tock. Time passes (that's what the tick tock represented) Turns out this plane? Well there's a problem. It's a commuter flight, and there's another flight from the same airline, going to the same place at almost the exact same time and neither flight can leave. Why you may ask? Well, something got goofed when they boarded the flights. See, there's plane A and passengers who have tickets for that flight right? And plane B with it's own passengers and flight #. Some genius boarded the passengers for plane B onto plane A, and vice versa. Now these people need to see all kinds of ID and DNA samples before we can even GET IN TO THE GATE AREA. After that, they can just totally fuck up. That's comforting. So the flights were delayed while they had to swap luggage and paperwork. This is grrrreeeaaaat. I get losing a bag, that sucks. But people do screw up. And I can see it being confusing to have two flights from the same airline going to the same place at almost the same time. But C'mon! This isn't just one person making an oops. And if they can make a mistake like this, they'd probably let Bin Laden himself board a flight as long as he had ID on him.
Oh, and the story gets a little better. See, this friends initial flight was delayed. And the flight from NY to Chicago before his had been pushed back nearly two hours. Making it take off just 20 minutes before his scheduled flight. So they let him just take that flight instead. All he did was ask the person at the gate and was allowed on the earlier flight cause they had room.
Now onto something more fun. I like airports. I do, always have. I know a lot of people look at it as a pain in the ass, and yes it has some flaws. But it's a great place to people watch. Get to make up little stories in my head. Two people reuniting at the gate, aw its sweet. No, he totally cheated while he was gone and she was hoping he wouldn't even come back. But look at them put on a good show. This group, going to try and nail down the new client. And they're taking a rookie along. Oh, this group must be going on a cool vacation. Get to try and guess where they're going. Wish I was going some place cool. And it's one of the best places to watch women. Business women dressed to the nines, college co-eds wearing sweats and fuzzy slippers, you see it all.
"Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? " Tyler Durden Fight Club
"Drive slow homie, you never know homie, about these hoes homie, you need to pump your brakes and drive slow homie" Kanye West
April 24, 2006
All The Good Things
So I'm taking on a new project of sorts. And I'm really excited about it. My cousin Eric, has a new cd coming out in the near future and he asked me to help get the word out. Figured since I've been online a little bit the past few years, I might be able to help. And I think I can. It's gonna be great fun and quite a challenge to help promote something that he can't really tour to promote himself. For starters, family or not I don't think I would even be interested if I didn't believe it was the goods. Sure I always want to be supportive of family and friends but it helps that I really love what he's doing. So I have some ideas and as things move along, there will be updates on here.
Now another angle about this that excites me is much more personal. I've always been very proud and probably bragged about both of my cousins successes. They're two very talented and very cool cats. But at the same time, they cast a pretty long shadow. Not at all is intentional. I know this. But I've said it before, it's almost like being related to the Jewish Kennedy's. I've taken a good natured rubbing from friends over how come I haven't done anything on their scale. And this is a chance to play a part in what will undoubtedly be another great success.
"It might be beneath you but it's still hangin' over me" Eric Hirshberg
"You know, in a situation like this, there's a high potentiality for the common motherfucker to bitch out" Snoopy Miller, Out Of Sight
Now another angle about this that excites me is much more personal. I've always been very proud and probably bragged about both of my cousins successes. They're two very talented and very cool cats. But at the same time, they cast a pretty long shadow. Not at all is intentional. I know this. But I've said it before, it's almost like being related to the Jewish Kennedy's. I've taken a good natured rubbing from friends over how come I haven't done anything on their scale. And this is a chance to play a part in what will undoubtedly be another great success.
"It might be beneath you but it's still hangin' over me" Eric Hirshberg
"You know, in a situation like this, there's a high potentiality for the common motherfucker to bitch out" Snoopy Miller, Out Of Sight
April 22, 2006
April 21, 2006
'Round Here
So this is kinda sad. Saturday night the Counting Crows are playing the opening of the Legends Center out in KCK by the race track. Think I'm going but wow they fell fast and hard huh? From dating Jennifer Aniston AND Courtney Cox, then touring with John Mayer to now playing free shows in a parking lot? And still being confused with The Black Crowes?? It's not exactly a Love Hewitt fall off. They hung around for a while. But at this rate, won't be long till they do some stupid reality TV show.
It became kinda big, a few years ago, for old hair bands to tour together and get pretty big venues. How long till we see Counting Crows, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden out doing the great Grunge Revival Concert Tour? With a crowd of yuppies and homosexuals, which allows Porqchop the unique experience of belonging to two crowds at once.
It became kinda big, a few years ago, for old hair bands to tour together and get pretty big venues. How long till we see Counting Crows, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden out doing the great Grunge Revival Concert Tour? With a crowd of yuppies and homosexuals, which allows Porqchop the unique experience of belonging to two crowds at once.
April 20, 2006
Sleep to dream
Wow. This is impossible. I went to bed early enough, like 11:45. Didn't have much trouble falling asleep. Woke up at 6:30. But for some reason I can barely keep my eyes open. Literally, its a fight right now to stay away. I took my ritalin, that should wake me up faster than a vat of coffee. Yet my eye lids feel like they're sagging as much as Sharon Stone should be. I can't drink Mt Dew this early, always makes me feel like tossing my cookies. I've considered running out to my car for like a 10 minute nap. But there's always the chance of 2 things happening if I do that. Either I'll be so afraid that I'll actually be asleep for 2 hours or I actually will be asleep for 2 hours. Plus the guy sleeping in his car outside work? I don't wanna be that guy. That'd be F'in sad. I've tried slapping myself, no work. I'm ready to ask other people to slap me but I think a line might form. And all I want is to be awake, not bruised and bloodied. I'm going with upbeat music. Not doing anything. I figure if I just make myself type and type on here, sooner or later I'll wake the fuck up. Any suggestions? Cold water? Hmm.. I think I'll go try that.
April 18, 2006
What About Hirp
First, not sure why the page is now in italics. Kinda bugging me. Might need to work on fixing that tonight. Oh wait, tonight is poker. Sah-weeeeet! Love me some poker. And I haven't played in like a month. So far this year, the frequency of my poker playing has dropped. I don't think I'm real happy about it. Haven't gone to any free games. Been to the boats a couple of times, didn't have much or well any success. But tonight, OST #3 mudder fudders.
Anyway, this past Sunday ABC aired a new show. "What About Brian," like I needed something else on Sunday nights. Luckily it's real night will be Mondays. But the show has the goods. Seems to be the new thirtysomething. But I didn't watch that cause, well I was a kid and that was some old fart shit then. But what we have here is a show about a group of friends. All either married or in about to me, and the one bachelor friend surprisingly named Brian. Who gets to be the well, 7th wheel. Gee, don't see how I'll be able to relate to this show. And there's a new hottie who may soon crack the top 10. Sarah Lancaster, who according to my research (imdb) was actually born in KS. One report says KCK, the other OP. By the looks of her, I'm betting OP. And she's more than welcome to come back. Anyway, the show. Has enough girly stuff going on for girls to like it. It's honest enough about what guys say and do, that maybe women shouldn't watch it. Definitely a show that in time, everyone will be watching, and only women will admit to. Just hope it doesn't go over the top with the soap opera crap. JJ Abrahms, who now owns Hollywood, is the man behind this and after my stamp approval I think its safe to say he has another winner. Even though I never watch Lost or Alias, it's pretty obvious from their followings this guy doesn't make flops. He's a popcorn version of Sorkin.
"I live in my own mind, aint nothing but a good time, no rain just sunshine out here in my own mind" Lyle Lovett
"I'm swimming in raw sewage and I LOVE it" Naked Gun
Anyway, this past Sunday ABC aired a new show. "What About Brian," like I needed something else on Sunday nights. Luckily it's real night will be Mondays. But the show has the goods. Seems to be the new thirtysomething. But I didn't watch that cause, well I was a kid and that was some old fart shit then. But what we have here is a show about a group of friends. All either married or in about to me, and the one bachelor friend surprisingly named Brian. Who gets to be the well, 7th wheel. Gee, don't see how I'll be able to relate to this show. And there's a new hottie who may soon crack the top 10. Sarah Lancaster, who according to my research (imdb) was actually born in KS. One report says KCK, the other OP. By the looks of her, I'm betting OP. And she's more than welcome to come back. Anyway, the show. Has enough girly stuff going on for girls to like it. It's honest enough about what guys say and do, that maybe women shouldn't watch it. Definitely a show that in time, everyone will be watching, and only women will admit to. Just hope it doesn't go over the top with the soap opera crap. JJ Abrahms, who now owns Hollywood, is the man behind this and after my stamp approval I think its safe to say he has another winner. Even though I never watch Lost or Alias, it's pretty obvious from their followings this guy doesn't make flops. He's a popcorn version of Sorkin.
"I live in my own mind, aint nothing but a good time, no rain just sunshine out here in my own mind" Lyle Lovett
"I'm swimming in raw sewage and I LOVE it" Naked Gun
April 16, 2006
Gangster Tips
I've long thought that all of lifes questions were answered in the Godfather. But I decided to compile a list of my favorite quotes from different Gangster movies. Not completly random though. All are very sound pieces of advice.
Don Corleone: Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.
Don Corleone: I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless. But not men.
Don Corleone: [shouts] You can act like a man!
Michael: It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business.
Clemenza: Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.
Don Corleone: Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking.
Michael Corleone: I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies.
Michael Corleone: There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Ace Rothstein: When you love someone, you've gotta trust them. There's no other way. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. Otherwise, what's the point?
Tommy DeVito: Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.
Jimmy Conway: That's the way. You don't take no shit from nobody.
Lefty: A wise guy's always right even when he's wrong, he's right.
Lorenzo: The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
Sonny: You gotta do what your heart tells you to do. Let me tell you somethin' right now. You're only allowed three great women in your lifetime.
Fat Mancho: But on the street, justice has no price. She's blind where the judge sits but she's not blind out here. Out here the bitch got eyes.
Vincent Hanna: I say what I mean, and I do what I say.
Neil McCauley: He knew the risks, he didn't have to be there. It rains... you get wet.
Verbal: A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself.
Carlito: Favor gonna kill you faster than a bullet.
Carlito: If you can't see the angles no more, you're in trouble
Carlito: Never give up your friends, Dave, no matter what.
Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
Tony Montana: In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.
Tony Montana: Who put this thing together? Me, that's who! Who do I trust? Me!
Nino Brown: Money talks, and bullshit runs a marathon. So, see ya and I wouldn't want to be ya.
April 14, 2006
Amercan Morons Part Deux
So it's a slow Good Friday. And I have to stay late to answer the phones. Oh joy. Ran across this little article.
Friday, April 14, 2006
No more hog-dog fights in Alabama
More dog-related crime news:
MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) -- Alabama joined Mississippi and Louisiana on Thursday in banning a backwoods fad that was growing in popularity along the Gulf Coast: trained dogs attacking penned wild hogs as spectators cheer the fastest dog.
The events, often called "hog-dog rodeos," involve putting a trained attack dog, usually a pit bull or American bulldog, in an enclosed ring with a wild hog that often has its tusks sawed off.
The dog chases down the hog and grabs its ear or another body part while spectators watch.
The events have been most prevalent in coastal regions of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama, but they have been found throughout the South.
The South Carolina-based International Catchdog Association says the events have been incorrectly portrayed by critics, and they are more like field trials for the dogs.
There's really not much I can say. What the hell did my brother move to Ala-fuckin-bama for?? They were pushing it when they call Nascar a sport. This why I think we messed up by winning the Civil War. Can we just give the south away?
"Everyone has an agenda. Everyone" Banky, Chasing Amy
"I could hide out under there, I just made you say underwear" Bare Naked Ladies
Friday, April 14, 2006
No more hog-dog fights in Alabama
More dog-related crime news:
MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) -- Alabama joined Mississippi and Louisiana on Thursday in banning a backwoods fad that was growing in popularity along the Gulf Coast: trained dogs attacking penned wild hogs as spectators cheer the fastest dog.
The events, often called "hog-dog rodeos," involve putting a trained attack dog, usually a pit bull or American bulldog, in an enclosed ring with a wild hog that often has its tusks sawed off.
The dog chases down the hog and grabs its ear or another body part while spectators watch.
The events have been most prevalent in coastal regions of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama, but they have been found throughout the South.
The South Carolina-based International Catchdog Association says the events have been incorrectly portrayed by critics, and they are more like field trials for the dogs.
There's really not much I can say. What the hell did my brother move to Ala-fuckin-bama for?? They were pushing it when they call Nascar a sport. This why I think we messed up by winning the Civil War. Can we just give the south away?
"Everyone has an agenda. Everyone" Banky, Chasing Amy
"I could hide out under there, I just made you say underwear" Bare Naked Ladies
Amen Brother Chappelle
"SUFFERING and humans go hand in hand. Look at comedy: It's dominated by black people and Jewish people. That is American comedy. And if blacks and Jews didn't do comedy, we'd be relying on the Irish. 'Cause they were the next funniest thing" - Dave Chappelle, Esquire . . .
So went to lunch today with Drew. Saw something entertaining on the way. Bumper sticker that said "The 2nd amendment, the one that makes all the others possible" This guy also had his NRA sticker, and a confederate flag sticker on his MINI-VAN! Now first thing. Does he really think the fact that he can own some guns would keep the military and government from changing their minds and taking away our democracy? Um, partner. They have many more guns. Next. Go look up the word amendment.
Never mind, I did it for you. " The act of changing for the better; improvement:
. A correction or alteration, as in a manuscript.
. A statement of such an alteration or addition:"
See, by definition its a correction. And a correction, can later be changed or altered. In 1776 maybe it made sense. 2006? The last thing we need is more guns. Ask Dick Chaneys hunting buddies.
And to top it off, this Neanderthal had a mullet. Gotta love the Midwest.
"If fact is only what you believe then fact and fiction work as a team" Jack Johnson
"It's just like the saying, in the poker game of life women are the rake. They are the fucking rake" Rounders
So went to lunch today with Drew. Saw something entertaining on the way. Bumper sticker that said "The 2nd amendment, the one that makes all the others possible" This guy also had his NRA sticker, and a confederate flag sticker on his MINI-VAN! Now first thing. Does he really think the fact that he can own some guns would keep the military and government from changing their minds and taking away our democracy? Um, partner. They have many more guns. Next. Go look up the word amendment.
Never mind, I did it for you. " The act of changing for the better; improvement:
. A correction or alteration, as in a manuscript.
. A statement of such an alteration or addition:"
See, by definition its a correction. And a correction, can later be changed or altered. In 1776 maybe it made sense. 2006? The last thing we need is more guns. Ask Dick Chaneys hunting buddies.
And to top it off, this Neanderthal had a mullet. Gotta love the Midwest.
"If fact is only what you believe then fact and fiction work as a team" Jack Johnson
"It's just like the saying, in the poker game of life women are the rake. They are the fucking rake" Rounders
I'll house them
Tornado hits Iowa university
Tornadoes tore across the University of Iowa campus overnight, ripping roofs and walls off a sorority house and killing a man in a nearby town. "We don't have any reports of serious injuries, which is short of miraculous considering what some of the damage appears to be," University of Iowa spokesman Steve Parrot said. One man was killed 20 miles away when his mobile home rolled.
from CNN.com
Really. If any of these sorority girls read this, and need a place to stay. I'll open my home to you. I'll be my Earl Hickey move. I'm just trying to be a better person.
"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment... or the moment defines you. " Tin Cup
"I hate all girls with alterior motives, thats why I'm 20+ years old no sons no daughters, hear the hate in my voice, I hate that you notice" Jay Z
Tornadoes tore across the University of Iowa campus overnight, ripping roofs and walls off a sorority house and killing a man in a nearby town. "We don't have any reports of serious injuries, which is short of miraculous considering what some of the damage appears to be," University of Iowa spokesman Steve Parrot said. One man was killed 20 miles away when his mobile home rolled.
from CNN.com
Really. If any of these sorority girls read this, and need a place to stay. I'll open my home to you. I'll be my Earl Hickey move. I'm just trying to be a better person.
"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment... or the moment defines you. " Tin Cup
"I hate all girls with alterior motives, thats why I'm 20+ years old no sons no daughters, hear the hate in my voice, I hate that you notice" Jay Z
April 13, 2006
Global Warming??
So, it's April 13th and it's 90 degrees outside. 90. April. One more time, it's 90 in April. Now I didn't do real well in school but I do remember hearing something about there being four seasons. Is it just a Midwestern thing to have only three? Winter, shit, and hot as balls summer? That's not true. I think Spring was Monday to Wednesday of this week when it was perfect out.
Next weekend my buddy is coming to town, and we have plans to catch a Royals game, then the next day head to Lawrence to catch a KU Baseball game. Good times, very much looking forward to it. And after the KU game we're planning on going out in Lawrence. That's right, we're gonna be those guys pushing 30 at the college bars. Can I just tell you how excited I am for this? Rob Lowe would be proud. But last time I was with Mike and got drunk, I ended up punching a building in Chicago. Did I mention the building won? It's not that I'm a violent drunk. Truth is drunk hirp is a fucking blast. He doesn't come out often. But he's just fun, he's chatty and happy and you really don't know what he'll say next. Anyway, the building. It so started it! Punk ass. No, it was really the first time I had been drunk drunk, and I think I covered most of Chicago in my vomit. Not fun. Neither was being this stupid drunk in front of a pretty hot chick that was hanging out with us for the night. So it was more, pissed at self that I got myself sick. 11 screwdrivers+empty stomach+ridiculously low tolerance at the time= drunk/sick Hirp. We don't like him. And we haven't seen him since. We haven't even seen drunk Hirp in a while. He'll be out a lot next week. And he's a big fan of drunk dialing.
Anyway, I've decided to start something new. With every post, I'm going to include both a movie quote and line from a song. No real reason. Just cause I wanna. And you'll read it and like it damnit.
"All I got in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one" Tony Montana
"If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one" Jay Z
Next weekend my buddy is coming to town, and we have plans to catch a Royals game, then the next day head to Lawrence to catch a KU Baseball game. Good times, very much looking forward to it. And after the KU game we're planning on going out in Lawrence. That's right, we're gonna be those guys pushing 30 at the college bars. Can I just tell you how excited I am for this? Rob Lowe would be proud. But last time I was with Mike and got drunk, I ended up punching a building in Chicago. Did I mention the building won? It's not that I'm a violent drunk. Truth is drunk hirp is a fucking blast. He doesn't come out often. But he's just fun, he's chatty and happy and you really don't know what he'll say next. Anyway, the building. It so started it! Punk ass. No, it was really the first time I had been drunk drunk, and I think I covered most of Chicago in my vomit. Not fun. Neither was being this stupid drunk in front of a pretty hot chick that was hanging out with us for the night. So it was more, pissed at self that I got myself sick. 11 screwdrivers+empty stomach+ridiculously low tolerance at the time= drunk/sick Hirp. We don't like him. And we haven't seen him since. We haven't even seen drunk Hirp in a while. He'll be out a lot next week. And he's a big fan of drunk dialing.
Anyway, I've decided to start something new. With every post, I'm going to include both a movie quote and line from a song. No real reason. Just cause I wanna. And you'll read it and like it damnit.
"All I got in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one" Tony Montana
"If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one" Jay Z
April 12, 2006
Hirp Rant
I just threw up in my mouth. Checking out some headlines and I see that Muhammad Ali has sold 80% of the rights to his name and likeness to some marketing firm.
"This relationship with CKX will help guarantee that, for generations to come, people of all nations will understand my beliefs and my purpose," Ali said in a statement issued Tuesday by the company. "I am honored to be able to partner with CKX as they continue to grow."
First question. Did he actually say it, or does the company now get to just release statements with his name on them? Second question. These beliefs and purpose everyone can get to understand, does it start with W and end with hore?
What's the line from Pump Up The Volume, "All the great themes have been used up and turned into theme parks?" This is just sickening. A one time great American Icon, who stood for standing for what you believe in no matter if it means everyone spits on your name, the loss of your career, or even face prison. Has sold himself for 50 mil.
What's sad is this really isn't a big surprise or anything out of the ordinary. Everyone has a price. I do, you do, the guy down the hall, the girl at the bar. I guess every one always did. Just now it's out in open for all to see. The Beatles music is used in commercials, Che Guevara is a t-shirt, Paris Hilton is an icon. You become famous not just by being on TV but by outright just whoring yourself. Talent? Charisma? None of it matters. Just sell, and the public will buy. Look at myspace.com. Could be a decent way to actually meet cool people. But most of the girls have a pic of themselves half naked and the guys flexing. Idol, Real World, Apprentice they aren't even TV shows. Just really clever info-mercials. The irony? Some of the most creative things in pop culture today? Advertising.
"This relationship with CKX will help guarantee that, for generations to come, people of all nations will understand my beliefs and my purpose," Ali said in a statement issued Tuesday by the company. "I am honored to be able to partner with CKX as they continue to grow."
First question. Did he actually say it, or does the company now get to just release statements with his name on them? Second question. These beliefs and purpose everyone can get to understand, does it start with W and end with hore?
What's the line from Pump Up The Volume, "All the great themes have been used up and turned into theme parks?" This is just sickening. A one time great American Icon, who stood for standing for what you believe in no matter if it means everyone spits on your name, the loss of your career, or even face prison. Has sold himself for 50 mil.
What's sad is this really isn't a big surprise or anything out of the ordinary. Everyone has a price. I do, you do, the guy down the hall, the girl at the bar. I guess every one always did. Just now it's out in open for all to see. The Beatles music is used in commercials, Che Guevara is a t-shirt, Paris Hilton is an icon. You become famous not just by being on TV but by outright just whoring yourself. Talent? Charisma? None of it matters. Just sell, and the public will buy. Look at myspace.com. Could be a decent way to actually meet cool people. But most of the girls have a pic of themselves half naked and the guys flexing. Idol, Real World, Apprentice they aren't even TV shows. Just really clever info-mercials. The irony? Some of the most creative things in pop culture today? Advertising.
April 11, 2006
Deal Breakers
A few years ago, a friend and I talked many times about out "deal breaker." Seemingly trivial things about the opposite sex that would end any chance of things moving forward. Now I know, most are thinking that the last thing I should be doing is limiting the dating pool. But this is serious stuff here. And away we go...
Nascar anything. Bumper sticker, hat, jacket, t shirt, pjs, underwear, tattoo. Any of those and hit the highway
Burping. Really any gas. So what, I try to convince myself that women don't have gas. Wait, strike that. I don't for one second believe women have gas. And this thing where girls burp and think its cute? Well it aint cute if I do it. And it sure as hell isn't cute if you do it.
Bush. W that is. Okay, you voted for him. That I could see past. But, if you still think it was the right call? Buh-bye. I respect someone that can stand by their choices, I do. But I respect someone more who can admit they fucked up. Get to steppin'
Tweety. Looney Tunes anything really. Call me shallow but really, if you're rocking a big tweety sweatshirt, chances are you either are two bills, or you soon will be.
Drive a Camaro or Trans-Am. If you drive either, you're a stripper. If you drive either and you're not a stripper, I just don't know what the hell you are. Don't let the door hitcha where the dog shoulda bit ya.
Kids names- You already have them picked out. Not a few names you like. But names that you MUST name your child. Look, IF I get married, and IF there ends up being kids, and IF those kids are actually mine. I'd like to at the very least be asked. I know the guy really has no say, and that's fine. But if from the get go, I know you won't even throw me a friggin bone here, peace out.
Things on the bubble. MU alum, drive a pick-up, ringtones of songs I can't even ignore, women who call their friends "girl"
And more to come I'm sure.
My two cents is free...
I don't know if you've followed the situation with the Duke Lacrosse team at all. If not, here's the cliffs notes version. Team has a party, hires some strippers. One later claims to have been raped. Team says it didn't happen. City of Durham torn on what happened. Team has entire season cancelled and coach resigns.
Well now it seems, from reports anyway, that the DNA recovered doesn't match anyone on the team. So a crime still may have been committed, the DA seems to think so. But now 46 guys will always have this label on them. And they all might be innocent. Maybe not completely innocent. But innocent of rape, which is probably the second most heinous crime in the books.
I've had this debate with a couple friends. One in particular doesn't seem to believe a woman would say it if it weren't true. Doesn't see why they would make up something like that. Well, for the same reason people do most things. Money. Green. Dividends. Casholla. Scrilla. Paper. You get my drift? Or it's a helluva way to get someone back who treated you in a way you felt you didn't deserve. And just one allegation will be stamped on someone's life forever.
Now I understand so many of these crimes go unreported, and that's a crime in itself. But every time one woman makes up a story. She's doing more damage to every actual victim out there. As well as victimizing the guy she accuses, who might be a first rate jackass but that's far from being a rapist.
But the media is as much to blame as the woman making the accusation. They go out and pretty much convict the guy in the eyes of the public before charges are even filed.
And a case like this, just raises more doubts, in my mind, in the cases of Tupac, Tyson and Kobe.
Well now it seems, from reports anyway, that the DNA recovered doesn't match anyone on the team. So a crime still may have been committed, the DA seems to think so. But now 46 guys will always have this label on them. And they all might be innocent. Maybe not completely innocent. But innocent of rape, which is probably the second most heinous crime in the books.
I've had this debate with a couple friends. One in particular doesn't seem to believe a woman would say it if it weren't true. Doesn't see why they would make up something like that. Well, for the same reason people do most things. Money. Green. Dividends. Casholla. Scrilla. Paper. You get my drift? Or it's a helluva way to get someone back who treated you in a way you felt you didn't deserve. And just one allegation will be stamped on someone's life forever.
Now I understand so many of these crimes go unreported, and that's a crime in itself. But every time one woman makes up a story. She's doing more damage to every actual victim out there. As well as victimizing the guy she accuses, who might be a first rate jackass but that's far from being a rapist.
But the media is as much to blame as the woman making the accusation. They go out and pretty much convict the guy in the eyes of the public before charges are even filed.
And a case like this, just raises more doubts, in my mind, in the cases of Tupac, Tyson and Kobe.
April 07, 2006
From AndersonCoopers 360blog
Real life 'Crash' in L.A.
When I first heard about this story, I thought to myself, "No way can be this true." These things simply don't happen. However, despite my natural skepticism as a journalist, the true facts of this story couldn't be ignored.
It goes like this: In 1981, a 13-year-old gay runaway was savagely beaten in a back alley in West Hollywood, California. The group behind the attack specifically targeted homosexuals. After the attack, the victim's life would never be the same. He was fearful of being in public places, even movie theaters.
Fast forward to 2005. The victim is working at the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles, a place dedicated to educating the public about hate. While there, he meets a former neo-Nazi skinhead who served time in prison for attacking an Iranian couple he thought was Jewish. This man, however, has undergone a personal transformation. He now realizes he was stupid for espousing racist beliefs and acting on them.
Over lunch, the two start talking about their life experiences. They quickly realize they'd met before. Yes, in that back alley in West Hollywood. After all these years, the victim and the perpetrator speak face-to-face. However, this time they're on the same side, both trying to accomplish a little bit of good.
This story is about so many things -- forgiveness, redemption, love, hate -- all the emotions we as human beings are capable of having. That two people could meet like this after 24 years and begin a friendship is astonishing.
I'd like to give a shout out to CNN Producer Stan Wilson for finding this incredible story and pushing it through to air.
When I first heard about this story, I thought to myself, "No way can be this true." These things simply don't happen. However, despite my natural skepticism as a journalist, the true facts of this story couldn't be ignored.
It goes like this: In 1981, a 13-year-old gay runaway was savagely beaten in a back alley in West Hollywood, California. The group behind the attack specifically targeted homosexuals. After the attack, the victim's life would never be the same. He was fearful of being in public places, even movie theaters.
Fast forward to 2005. The victim is working at the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles, a place dedicated to educating the public about hate. While there, he meets a former neo-Nazi skinhead who served time in prison for attacking an Iranian couple he thought was Jewish. This man, however, has undergone a personal transformation. He now realizes he was stupid for espousing racist beliefs and acting on them.
Over lunch, the two start talking about their life experiences. They quickly realize they'd met before. Yes, in that back alley in West Hollywood. After all these years, the victim and the perpetrator speak face-to-face. However, this time they're on the same side, both trying to accomplish a little bit of good.
This story is about so many things -- forgiveness, redemption, love, hate -- all the emotions we as human beings are capable of having. That two people could meet like this after 24 years and begin a friendship is astonishing.
I'd like to give a shout out to CNN Producer Stan Wilson for finding this incredible story and pushing it through to air.
Good God...
It is Friday. It is 6:45 in the morning. I'm up, that isn't good news. I'm at work. Is Hirp just that dedicated you ask yourself? Well sure. Is he a morning person? Well thanks to Ritalin I can operate in the morning but no, not really a morning person. Although stragely enough, occasionally it is really nice to be up early. It smells nice outside this early. Even my car has a different smell to it. The streets are empty, that is very nice. And for the most part since starting this job, I'm here by 7, or 7:30. Except yesterday. I opened my eyes without my alarm going off, and in a state somewhere between sleep and being awake I noticed my room was light. Huh, my alarm hasn't gone off, why is it light? Oh well, back to sleep. Wait for alarm. So I don't know what time it was. Finally my eyes open again, might have been just a few seconds later. I'm not sure. Look at the clock. 8:45. Um. SHIT!!
I don't really have a time I HAVE to be at work at. Pretty much its 9am cause that's when I have my scheduled time to answer the phones. And I live oh, 20-30 minutes away from work depending on traffic. I'll give you time to do the math. Yep, 8:45 + 20-30 minutes. That's equals late. Hirp doesn't like being late. Not for anything. Appointments. Meeting friends. Movies. Dinner. Hearing someone is late on a menstral cycle. Okay, maybe an oil change. Just throws off my whole day, and makes me feel like I'm always behind.
I knew right then, that today I would be screwed. My internal clock would keep waking me to make sure I didn't oversleep. Up almost every hour on the hour after 3am. Not to mention it was gonna be a rough night of sleep for other reasons. Well I guess I just did mention that. I have friends who can just stroll in at anytime, not a worry. Me? If I think I might be on time, I'm stressed. I need to know I'm gonna be where I need to be. If it's getting close, I'm stressing. And stressin' aint no kinda fun. Anyway, time to do some work. The lesson for today? Being late bad. I think that's the lesson. Yep, learn that. It's the lesson.
I don't really have a time I HAVE to be at work at. Pretty much its 9am cause that's when I have my scheduled time to answer the phones. And I live oh, 20-30 minutes away from work depending on traffic. I'll give you time to do the math. Yep, 8:45 + 20-30 minutes. That's equals late. Hirp doesn't like being late. Not for anything. Appointments. Meeting friends. Movies. Dinner. Hearing someone is late on a menstral cycle. Okay, maybe an oil change. Just throws off my whole day, and makes me feel like I'm always behind.
I knew right then, that today I would be screwed. My internal clock would keep waking me to make sure I didn't oversleep. Up almost every hour on the hour after 3am. Not to mention it was gonna be a rough night of sleep for other reasons. Well I guess I just did mention that. I have friends who can just stroll in at anytime, not a worry. Me? If I think I might be on time, I'm stressed. I need to know I'm gonna be where I need to be. If it's getting close, I'm stressing. And stressin' aint no kinda fun. Anyway, time to do some work. The lesson for today? Being late bad. I think that's the lesson. Yep, learn that. It's the lesson.
April 06, 2006
To Be A Guy...
We've heard from the women. We know what they like, dislike about being women. So, now it's time to hear why it's great to be a guy.
Two guys can have an entire conversation and never use more than one word responses. Sup. Nothing. You. Chillin. Cool. Wanna? Xbox? Yeah. Madden? uh huh. Ok. Bitch. You. Fag.
If a guy has any sense of style, he gets tons of credit. Women grade on a curve. Thank you.
Never hear a guy ask "does this make my ass look big?"
We get paid more.
Being forced to watch a chick flick, usually has some pretty good upside. And at the very least, we get to see a hot chick and learn some valuable info about you odd creatures. Some info we may never apply to anything but, we know it.
1 Wallet.
90% of movies, advertising and tv shows are made to entertain us. We dont need one or two channels, we have the rest.
Remembering a birthday or something significant isn't expected, therefore we get points if able to accomplish.
Haircuts take less than an afternoon, cost less than feeding a family of 8.
Soap and shampoo are the only products needed to bathe.
Women dress to impress us. Not realizing we're pretty easily impressed. But we do appreciate the extra effort
And we can pee standing or sitting.
Two guys can have an entire conversation and never use more than one word responses. Sup. Nothing. You. Chillin. Cool. Wanna? Xbox? Yeah. Madden? uh huh. Ok. Bitch. You. Fag.
If a guy has any sense of style, he gets tons of credit. Women grade on a curve. Thank you.
Never hear a guy ask "does this make my ass look big?"
We get paid more.
Being forced to watch a chick flick, usually has some pretty good upside. And at the very least, we get to see a hot chick and learn some valuable info about you odd creatures. Some info we may never apply to anything but, we know it.
1 Wallet.
90% of movies, advertising and tv shows are made to entertain us. We dont need one or two channels, we have the rest.
Remembering a birthday or something significant isn't expected, therefore we get points if able to accomplish.
Haircuts take less than an afternoon, cost less than feeding a family of 8.
Soap and shampoo are the only products needed to bathe.
Women dress to impress us. Not realizing we're pretty easily impressed. But we do appreciate the extra effort
And we can pee standing or sitting.
For nearly twenty years two people, who in very different ways meant a lot to me, have lived oddly parallel lives. One was my hero, my favorite baseball player Dwight "Doc" Gooden. The other was my sister. But both have battled what appears to be a losing effort against drugs. And the highs, and lows have taken place around the same times, and hit similar lows that it's just been eerie.
Yesterday, as we went to court for a trial for my sister to lose custody, Doc Gooden was in court in Florida having his freedom taken away after yet another relapse. And that's where they both stand now, in prison, although very different prisons. One physical, the other self imposed.
One of the better memories I have of time with my sister happened to be going to a Met game in 1987. It was a year after they won the World Series, and for showing up we got posters with a beautiful shot of game 7. Dad also got us hats. I still have both, my hat and poster nearly 20 years later. And it wasn't the game I remember. I remember just one detail. What I remember vividly was the four of us walking into Shea, getting the hats. And it really wasn't that my family was some die hard Met fans, just me. Yet they got involved as a way to connect with me, which I always thought was way cool.
1987 started off with Doc in rehab for the first month of the season. And it was just a few months after that game with my sister and parents, that my sister went into rehab for the first time as well. There were lumps and bumps and relapses. Then a period where both seemed to be on the right track. Both had new surroundings in 1996. Doc in a Yankee uniform, my sister in Kansas. Doc pitched a no hitter, I remember jumping up and down on my bed in my dorm room like I was 9 again. My sister had a boyfriend my family actually liked. She had removed herself from a bad situation with her husband. She was working, things were great.
I never even touched alcohol till I was 19. Wasn't drunk till I was 21. Never touched a drug in my life. My own choices? Sure. But I saw the worst of what it does when it ruined the lives of two very different people, who meant two very different things to me. And to this day, I still carry Doc's rookie baseball card around in my wallet. I guess I haven't given up just yet.
Yesterday, as we went to court for a trial for my sister to lose custody, Doc Gooden was in court in Florida having his freedom taken away after yet another relapse. And that's where they both stand now, in prison, although very different prisons. One physical, the other self imposed.
One of the better memories I have of time with my sister happened to be going to a Met game in 1987. It was a year after they won the World Series, and for showing up we got posters with a beautiful shot of game 7. Dad also got us hats. I still have both, my hat and poster nearly 20 years later. And it wasn't the game I remember. I remember just one detail. What I remember vividly was the four of us walking into Shea, getting the hats. And it really wasn't that my family was some die hard Met fans, just me. Yet they got involved as a way to connect with me, which I always thought was way cool.
1987 started off with Doc in rehab for the first month of the season. And it was just a few months after that game with my sister and parents, that my sister went into rehab for the first time as well. There were lumps and bumps and relapses. Then a period where both seemed to be on the right track. Both had new surroundings in 1996. Doc in a Yankee uniform, my sister in Kansas. Doc pitched a no hitter, I remember jumping up and down on my bed in my dorm room like I was 9 again. My sister had a boyfriend my family actually liked. She had removed herself from a bad situation with her husband. She was working, things were great.
I never even touched alcohol till I was 19. Wasn't drunk till I was 21. Never touched a drug in my life. My own choices? Sure. But I saw the worst of what it does when it ruined the lives of two very different people, who meant two very different things to me. And to this day, I still carry Doc's rookie baseball card around in my wallet. I guess I haven't given up just yet.
April 05, 2006
Well at least I admit it.....
So, trying to come back today with something funnier or at the very least, more fun to read then the previous post. And although I'm not feeling all that funny today. I did think of something. Let me explain just how shitty men are. And I'm going to use myself as an example.
So at court today, I noticed a woman. Okay, that's not even true. A few. But one really made me do a double take. And she had on a pair of boots that could almost give someone a shoe fetish.
But let's look at the facts. I'm at a court house, possibly the most depressing place on the planet. No one, other than a lawyer, is happy to be there. I'm there for a family issue. And I'm still noticing women? The funny part was later when my nephew and I both checked someone out, and he laughed cause he caught me.
See, we're pigs. But in our defense, it's not a choice. And in my defense, it's not like I actually hit on anyone. I just can't imagine answering the "so how'd you guys meet" question.
So at court today, I noticed a woman. Okay, that's not even true. A few. But one really made me do a double take. And she had on a pair of boots that could almost give someone a shoe fetish.
But let's look at the facts. I'm at a court house, possibly the most depressing place on the planet. No one, other than a lawyer, is happy to be there. I'm there for a family issue. And I'm still noticing women? The funny part was later when my nephew and I both checked someone out, and he laughed cause he caught me.
See, we're pigs. But in our defense, it's not a choice. And in my defense, it's not like I actually hit on anyone. I just can't imagine answering the "so how'd you guys meet" question.
April 04, 2006
"The Realest Shit I Ever Wrote"
So tomorrow is D Day. A day I've been dreading for, well years really. See, tomorrow is the day my sister officially loses all and any legal rights to her kids. She has a bit of a chemical dependency problem, her kids are the one's getting screwed. And I know everyone has crap in their lives, and I'm not trying to get pity or win any pissing contests. Simply just writing, well as Tupac called it, the realest words I ever wrote.
I've been an uncle now for nearly 15 years. Half my life. And nothing has ever defined me more, nothing ever fit me better. Not just with my nieces and nephews, with friends and their kids. When friends refer me as Uncle Gregg when talking to their kids, there couldn't be a bigger compliment. And for 15 years I looked these kids in the eye and said if you ever need anything, you call Uncle. (what they call me, not Uncle Gregg, just Uncle..always liked that) And here the shit really hit the fan, and I came up short. Was not taking on 4 kids, ages 3-14 to live with me in a small 2 bedroom apartment the wise decision? I'd like to think so. But it still fucking sucked. And I think will always feel like I made the wrong call. Now they're split up, with the oldest two going to live in Connecticut as of this weekend. The most insignificant issue here is my feelings of my own failure.
The big plate of shit, is what those kids have on their table. I've said I believe in odds, well these kids keep getting the odds stacked against them. And nothing is better than a story where someone overcomes the odds, and I hope and believe they can. You still never want to see anyone you care about so short stacked, with long odds. Talk about helpless. And helpless is gotta be the worst thing.
So yeah, you could say I'm pretty angry. At my sister, who if she is still alive turns 35 in 2 weeks. Mad at myself for not being able to do what I think I should. Mad that I didn't finish school when I should have, cause then I might be in a better position.
As much as I've always gotten a kick out of comments on here, I'm actually not looking for any "oh so sorry" or any of that. I'm really not looking for a pep talk, don't take that the wrong way. And this post will only be up for a few days. I just felt like giving this outlet a shot. Now, I'm gonna go play some Godfather and fuck some people up.
I've been an uncle now for nearly 15 years. Half my life. And nothing has ever defined me more, nothing ever fit me better. Not just with my nieces and nephews, with friends and their kids. When friends refer me as Uncle Gregg when talking to their kids, there couldn't be a bigger compliment. And for 15 years I looked these kids in the eye and said if you ever need anything, you call Uncle. (what they call me, not Uncle Gregg, just Uncle..always liked that) And here the shit really hit the fan, and I came up short. Was not taking on 4 kids, ages 3-14 to live with me in a small 2 bedroom apartment the wise decision? I'd like to think so. But it still fucking sucked. And I think will always feel like I made the wrong call. Now they're split up, with the oldest two going to live in Connecticut as of this weekend. The most insignificant issue here is my feelings of my own failure.
The big plate of shit, is what those kids have on their table. I've said I believe in odds, well these kids keep getting the odds stacked against them. And nothing is better than a story where someone overcomes the odds, and I hope and believe they can. You still never want to see anyone you care about so short stacked, with long odds. Talk about helpless. And helpless is gotta be the worst thing.
So yeah, you could say I'm pretty angry. At my sister, who if she is still alive turns 35 in 2 weeks. Mad at myself for not being able to do what I think I should. Mad that I didn't finish school when I should have, cause then I might be in a better position.
As much as I've always gotten a kick out of comments on here, I'm actually not looking for any "oh so sorry" or any of that. I'm really not looking for a pep talk, don't take that the wrong way. And this post will only be up for a few days. I just felt like giving this outlet a shot. Now, I'm gonna go play some Godfather and fuck some people up.
Reasons to like being an adult
So the network is on the fritz again. I think I'm posting TOO often now. Oh well, deal with it.
Video games, no more waiting for mom to take me to get one.
Staying up late, not getting yelled at for it.
Sleep overs. Maybe not frequent enough, no more cold pizza.
Cleaning up my room. Cause I wanna.
Sit as close the tv as I want. Although I dont, my ass stays on the couch.
Music. Played at any volume I want.
No curfew.
Cause I said so is now a reason I can use.
No book reports.
I don't have to sneak into R rated movies.
I can say "Fuck" a lot
I can drink as much soda or chocolate milk as I want.
McDonalds, whenever I feel like it.
Vegas beats the hell out of Disney.
Saying "fuck" is fun.
Beer or root beer, finally a choice.
Video games, no more waiting for mom to take me to get one.
Staying up late, not getting yelled at for it.
Sleep overs. Maybe not frequent enough, no more cold pizza.
Cleaning up my room. Cause I wanna.
Sit as close the tv as I want. Although I dont, my ass stays on the couch.
Music. Played at any volume I want.
No curfew.
Cause I said so is now a reason I can use.
No book reports.
I don't have to sneak into R rated movies.
I can say "Fuck" a lot
I can drink as much soda or chocolate milk as I want.
McDonalds, whenever I feel like it.
Vegas beats the hell out of Disney.
Saying "fuck" is fun.
Beer or root beer, finally a choice.
"Back in the day"
Things I miss about being a kid:
Baseball cards- Hours of memorizing stats. Some I still remember
Atari-1 button joystick, any kind of game you wanna play
Saturday Morning Cartoons- When cartoons were drawn, not done on a computer
Fraggle Rock- GREAT show
Staying up late- So much fun, I still do it.
Ding dong ditching/TP'ing- Don't like someone? Bother their parents and wake em up, then RUN.
Scary movies-scared the Sh*t out of you
Seeing an R rated movie- Huge thrill. Gonna hear some f bombs? See a boob? Things that made me think maybe there is a god
Playing baseball/basketball- Copying my favorite players batting stance, head first dive into second base, post game pizza with friends.
The Mall- Hang out, sneak a peek at a playboy, check out MILFs..ok, still fun but now I'd be the creepy guy
Sleepovers- More fun now, maybe less frequent..but staying up late, eating cold pizza and watching Three Amigos was rad.
Baseball cards- Hours of memorizing stats. Some I still remember
Atari-1 button joystick, any kind of game you wanna play
Saturday Morning Cartoons- When cartoons were drawn, not done on a computer
Fraggle Rock- GREAT show
Staying up late- So much fun, I still do it.
Ding dong ditching/TP'ing- Don't like someone? Bother their parents and wake em up, then RUN.
Scary movies-scared the Sh*t out of you
Seeing an R rated movie- Huge thrill. Gonna hear some f bombs? See a boob? Things that made me think maybe there is a god
Playing baseball/basketball- Copying my favorite players batting stance, head first dive into second base, post game pizza with friends.
The Mall- Hang out, sneak a peek at a playboy, check out MILFs..ok, still fun but now I'd be the creepy guy
Sleepovers- More fun now, maybe less frequent..but staying up late, eating cold pizza and watching Three Amigos was rad.
April 03, 2006
Entourage v. Sopranos
Let me first state, I am not by any means comparing the two shows. Sopranos is by far, my favorite and therefore the better show. What I am taking a look at and trying decide, is which group of guys would I rather hang out with. So I'm going to peel back all the layers to get to the heart of this very profound question.
First, let's meet the main guys
Sopranos
Tony Soprano aka, T. The Boss of the Family. Mean but with a lot of heart.
Carmella Soprano. The Mrs. Nice lady, good mom yet a gold digger
Christopher Moltisanti. Provides great one liners, loves movies. Bit of a checmial dependency problem. Beats women.
Silvio Dante. Underboss, loyal friend. Pretty funny
Paulie Gualiteri aka Paulie Walnuts. Snake in the grass. Don't trust this sack of shit.
AJ Soprano. Youngest child to Carm and T, annoying brat
Meadow Soprano. Yowza. Cool dame, hottie. Dad owns MANY guns. Kills people. That's a negative.
Entourage
Vincent Chase aka Vinny. Big headed, laid back new "It" boy in Hollywood. Lets his friends live off of him. Girls wanna be around him.
Eric Murphy aka E. Loyal friend, calls it as he sees it, good business sense. Knows how to make pizza.
Johnny Chase aka Drama. Older brother to Vinny, not much talent. Pretty much the punchline of the group.
Turtle. The funniest dude in the group. Loyal friend, guy who can "get things" Always up for a good time.
Life Styles:
Sopranos
La Cosa Nostra. Murder, extort, intimidate. Basically my life now.
Entourage
Hollywood. Movies, parties, trips, chicks. Not what I do now
The Women:
Sopranos
Attention hungry, hot, easy, gold diggers who want to tell their friends about being with you
Entourage
Attention hungry, hot, easy, gold diggers who want to video tape being with you. Won't get you killed, might get you a VD.
Location:
Sopranos
New Jersey, if NY is the heart of the country, Jersey is like the spleen.
Entourage
From Queens, now in LA. Well, you can take the boy out of NY but not the NY out of the boy. So they bring Queens to LA, and that's much needed.
Verdict:
I gotta side with Entourage. The whole thing about not ending up in the pen or in the East River is a definite plus. Along with just a more laid back lifestyle. And famous chicks like Jessica Alba.
First, let's meet the main guys
Sopranos
Tony Soprano aka, T. The Boss of the Family. Mean but with a lot of heart.
Carmella Soprano. The Mrs. Nice lady, good mom yet a gold digger
Christopher Moltisanti. Provides great one liners, loves movies. Bit of a checmial dependency problem. Beats women.
Silvio Dante. Underboss, loyal friend. Pretty funny
Paulie Gualiteri aka Paulie Walnuts. Snake in the grass. Don't trust this sack of shit.
AJ Soprano. Youngest child to Carm and T, annoying brat
Meadow Soprano. Yowza. Cool dame, hottie. Dad owns MANY guns. Kills people. That's a negative.
Entourage
Vincent Chase aka Vinny. Big headed, laid back new "It" boy in Hollywood. Lets his friends live off of him. Girls wanna be around him.
Eric Murphy aka E. Loyal friend, calls it as he sees it, good business sense. Knows how to make pizza.
Johnny Chase aka Drama. Older brother to Vinny, not much talent. Pretty much the punchline of the group.
Turtle. The funniest dude in the group. Loyal friend, guy who can "get things" Always up for a good time.
Life Styles:
Sopranos
La Cosa Nostra. Murder, extort, intimidate. Basically my life now.
Entourage
Hollywood. Movies, parties, trips, chicks. Not what I do now
The Women:
Sopranos
Attention hungry, hot, easy, gold diggers who want to tell their friends about being with you
Entourage
Attention hungry, hot, easy, gold diggers who want to video tape being with you. Won't get you killed, might get you a VD.
Location:
Sopranos
New Jersey, if NY is the heart of the country, Jersey is like the spleen.
Entourage
From Queens, now in LA. Well, you can take the boy out of NY but not the NY out of the boy. So they bring Queens to LA, and that's much needed.
Verdict:
I gotta side with Entourage. The whole thing about not ending up in the pen or in the East River is a definite plus. Along with just a more laid back lifestyle. And famous chicks like Jessica Alba.
More beliefs
Soon I'll have enough on here for you to base a new religion around. And that's not even a bad idea. But pray for Plainsmoses.
More beliefs:
That you should break any law you want. As long as you can deal with what consequences you might face if you get caught.
That you shouldn't do the crime, if you can't get away with it.
That you are thinking I'm some criminal right now.
That the only laws I would never and could never break are crimes against children, sexual assaults and spousal abuse.
That everyone thinks of ways to get away with major crime.
That I am way to focused on crime today.
That pulling a prank on April Fools Day is the same as getting drunk on St Patty's Day.
That you shouldn't need a day to tell you to get drunk or pull a prank, the motivation should come from with in.
That they could make a great prequel to Rounders.
That there should be a sequel to Singles.
That there are too many femine hygiene commercials on TV.
That you never stop feeling something.
That you either hide from it, add new ones to it, get time and distance so you forget it.
More beliefs:
That you should break any law you want. As long as you can deal with what consequences you might face if you get caught.
That you shouldn't do the crime, if you can't get away with it.
That you are thinking I'm some criminal right now.
That the only laws I would never and could never break are crimes against children, sexual assaults and spousal abuse.
That everyone thinks of ways to get away with major crime.
That I am way to focused on crime today.
That pulling a prank on April Fools Day is the same as getting drunk on St Patty's Day.
That you shouldn't need a day to tell you to get drunk or pull a prank, the motivation should come from with in.
That they could make a great prequel to Rounders.
That there should be a sequel to Singles.
That there are too many femine hygiene commercials on TV.
That you never stop feeling something.
That you either hide from it, add new ones to it, get time and distance so you forget it.
Opening Day 06
So it's Opening Day 2006. A day that should be a National Holiday. Yet, I came to work anyway. Surprisingly I'm not all that excited about it this year. Mainly cause I have some other things on my head. But I'm still pretty pumped. Got a good feeling about my Mets. Although, to be a Met fan is to always have a good feeling on Opening Day with another feeling deeper in the gut you don't want to face. That, crap it could all fall apart in 30 seconds feeling. And with Pedro, that feeling is always there.
But let me explain why Opening Day, or the first day of any sport season is exciting. In life, we get New Years Day. And everyone makes resolutions for this "new year" when in fact the only change is in the calendar, and taxes. You don't get a fresh start. Work doesn't start over. It just keeps moving along. But in sports, every team has a chance. Every bad year is erased, and everyone starts off with the same stats. The same hopes and goals. Even the Royals are taking the field today with the same goal as the Yankees. And with every new season you know there's gonna be some memorable games, personal seasons, great stories, horrible tragedies and big surprises. And even if your team sucks something awful, or you live 1500 miles away from your team. You go to a ballpark, eat a dog, talk to some friends and have a good time. Argue meaningless stats, compare the new breed to the guys you loved as a kid. And sometimes for a few minutes you actually go back to being a kid.
So there it is. Why I love Opening Day. Some other time I'll let bitter Hirp out to talk about how I'm not the baseball, or sport fan I used to be. As well as my opinion of the proposed roof for the stadiums in KC. But for today, Lets Go Mets!
ps- 20 years since 86?! God damn I'm feeling old.
But let me explain why Opening Day, or the first day of any sport season is exciting. In life, we get New Years Day. And everyone makes resolutions for this "new year" when in fact the only change is in the calendar, and taxes. You don't get a fresh start. Work doesn't start over. It just keeps moving along. But in sports, every team has a chance. Every bad year is erased, and everyone starts off with the same stats. The same hopes and goals. Even the Royals are taking the field today with the same goal as the Yankees. And with every new season you know there's gonna be some memorable games, personal seasons, great stories, horrible tragedies and big surprises. And even if your team sucks something awful, or you live 1500 miles away from your team. You go to a ballpark, eat a dog, talk to some friends and have a good time. Argue meaningless stats, compare the new breed to the guys you loved as a kid. And sometimes for a few minutes you actually go back to being a kid.
So there it is. Why I love Opening Day. Some other time I'll let bitter Hirp out to talk about how I'm not the baseball, or sport fan I used to be. As well as my opinion of the proposed roof for the stadiums in KC. But for today, Lets Go Mets!
ps- 20 years since 86?! God damn I'm feeling old.
April 02, 2006
The Long Awaited Top 10
10 Katie Holmes She could snap out of this Cruise thing, abort her alien baby and reclaim #2. It could happen
9 Emanuelle Chirqui E's girlfriend on Entourage
8 Jordana Brewster More reason to hate Derek Jeter
7 Debra Messing Hottest flat chested woman alive
6 Lindsay Lohan She goes back to being a redhead and keeps down a weeks worth of meals, she moves right back into the top 5
5 Eva Mendes The reason I rented Hitch. Shut up Porqchop.
4 Rachel Mcadams Zooming up the charts!
3 Jessica Alba Barely edged out of #2. But she's a top so many other lists.
2 Vanessa Miniiillo Even another reason to REALLY REALLY hate Derek Jeter, and a reason to admire Nick Lachey. Nice upgrade Nick.
1 Jennifer Aniston I'd give up the other 9 in a heart beat and list her 10 times. But I dont have to.
9 Emanuelle Chirqui E's girlfriend on Entourage
8 Jordana Brewster More reason to hate Derek Jeter
7 Debra Messing Hottest flat chested woman alive
6 Lindsay Lohan She goes back to being a redhead and keeps down a weeks worth of meals, she moves right back into the top 5
5 Eva Mendes The reason I rented Hitch. Shut up Porqchop.
4 Rachel Mcadams Zooming up the charts!
3 Jessica Alba Barely edged out of #2. But she's a top so many other lists.
2 Vanessa Miniiillo Even another reason to REALLY REALLY hate Derek Jeter, and a reason to admire Nick Lachey. Nice upgrade Nick.
1 Jennifer Aniston I'd give up the other 9 in a heart beat and list her 10 times. But I dont have to.
More Hirp Questions
Has anyone had a career disappear faster than Jennifer Love Hewitt?
Until Tom Cruise started brain washing Katie Holmes?
Has there ever been a bigger poster child for good light/bad light then Jessica Sarah Parker?
Should I take the stress test given by the scientologist on the plaza?
Or should I relieve some stress and commit a hate crime against them?
If Barry Bonds was white, would his alleged steroid still be a huge deal?
Why did we talk about Bill Clintons sex life more than the fact our current VP actually shot someone?
Does the movie Swingers have any flaws? Even one?
Now that the creatorts of Scrubs have a show called teachers, can we expect a "Sprint Provisioners" to hit NBC in less than 5, or less than 3 years?
Who would be more fun to hang out with, Vince Ari and the gang, or Tony and his?
Is there something wrong with me for pondering that? Does that deserve it's own post? I think so.
Why do girls hand those beads on their rear view mirror?
I dont believe you earned them in New Orleans. Prove it. Idiot.
Am I the only one who will drive 5 miles past my exit just to figure out a personalized license plate? Then get mad when I'm dissapointed in it?
Who needs more help with picking roles, Nic Cage, Robert Deniro, Ashley Judd, or Samuel L Jackson?
Is Ben Stiller mad that Stever Carrol took his career?
Is Ben Stiller mad that Paul Rudd took away the left over parts?
If you were married to Christine Taylor, could you ever be mad?
When did courting become stalking?
April 01, 2006
"Boat drinks"
So I just got done watching a movie that I really dig. Every time I watch it, it gets a little bit better. Now it's not on the same level as my favorites. But it's really a gem. It's not at all your typical gangster movie. Although its plenty gangster. It's 2 scoops mafia, 1 scoop chick flick even, and all independent. And the players? More All-Stars than the last Dream Team. Andy Garcia, Chris Walken, Steve Buscemi. Little appearnces from Don Cheadle, Penolope Ann Miller and Josh Charles who by the way needs a new agent or something. This guy could be huge.
The movie, Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead. Garcia plays Jimmy "the Saint" a former connected guy who has since left the life to be a citizen. Till the boss, played by the genius that.....is Chris Walken (you have to read that as if he said it, that guys got a bad ass voice) He's "the man with a plan" who even though is confined to a wheel chair, still has all the power and can intimdate the hardest tough guys.
Jimmy is called on to do an action, which isn't an actual crime really. Just put a scare in someone. Shit goes wrong and his whole crew is sentenced to be "buckwheats" You need to see the film to know what that is.
I said part chick flick right? I didnt lie. See, Jimmy is one smooth talking dude. And although it reads pretty cheesy, he has perhaps the best pickup line I've seen in movies. I think it might actually work. Uses it on Gabrielle Anwar, who was the woman dancing with Pacino in Scent of a Woman. Well, she has a boyfriend already. And this is where I got my schtick of refering to girls boyfriends as "Chips" She's town between Chip and the smooth talking "Saint"
Written by Scott Rosenberg, who also wrote the screen plays for two other highly underrated flicks. Beautiful Girls and High Fidelity. All this talent and the movie still has that indep feel to it. Never going for the over the top violence you see in many mafia flicks. You get a feel for this crew and their loyalty to each other, and even though they are criminals and killers you root for them. Check it out on IFC, Blockbuster or Hirp Flix.
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